Online Romance or Stalker/Catfish?

by Ericka Cherry

This week’s “Catfish” took a trip to Creepy Town when it appeared Nev and Max might be dealing with a stalker. The online romance between Ayissha and Sydney started off innocently enough, but things went south quickly when the latter avoided taking the relationship offline.

Sydney and Ayissha had developed a storybook romance from a chance Twitter encounter, but by the time Ayissha contacted N and M, Sydney’s stalkerish behavior had reached scary heights. A explained how S would never meet her in person when she came into town and kept blaming her second job for it. Because of the issue, the two lovebirds eventually ended their romance.

After the breakup, Ayissha went to a party and kissed another girl. Oddly enough, her now ex-girlfriend texted her that same night, saying only, “I have a feeling… Ur somewhere ur not supposed to be.” After an argument, Sydney admitted to being named Whitney and sent her ex an entirely new set of photos. Despite the admission of guilt, Ayissha still had a lot of love for Whitney and found it difficult to quit her, even though Whitney had already caused A to miss midterms and drop out of school. The tarnished love story had some big consequences.

The sleuths started by going through the catfish’s Facebook page. Immediately, they noticed that she and Ayissha shared mutual friends. Three of these pals — Markeith, James and Eric — also shared many mutual friends with Ayissha. Nev and Max reached out to the guys to find out if they knew Whitney; as they waited for responses, they discovered that Whitney’s phone number was associated with a Whitney Shanice Robinson.

The next day, one by one, each of the boys responded to Nev with variations on the same response: “I don’t know who Whitney Shanice is.” The similarity of their responses led Max to realize that Whitney was likely running the guys’ profiles to keep multiple tabs on her victim’s behavior by checking their mutual friends’ statuses.

At this point, there was nothing left for Ayissha to do but confront Whitney. Both sides were apprehensive about coming face to face but finally agreed to meet near W’s home in Texas.

As is typical with catfish, Whitney looked quite different from the two photo sets she sent Ayissha, but she wasn’t as vicious as expected. In a local park, she explained to an understandably distraught Ayissha that catfishing gave her a way to reach out and gain love from people after her mom’s negative reaction to her coming out.

It was a sad, potentially scary situation that seemed to find a good ending — even though the two women did not remain in touch: At the close of the show, Ayissha was back in school and Whitney had joined the Navy.




article from this site

When It's Someone You Trust...

You never know who might try to hurt you on the internet

BY CATHERINE WALKER

OVER the past few weeks we have learned that 80 per cent of victims of cyber-stalking are women, and many have been the victims of ex-lovers, but although it seems relationships have a lot to do with online stalking it is not always men who are the stalkers. This week, we talk to a woman who was stabbed in the back by the person who she least expected.

Jane Burns (name has been changed to protect identity) was a normal young woman. In 2005, most of her friends at university were studying abroad, which brought her and another classmate a lot closer together than before. They spent hours together and told each other everything. Jane’s new best friend spent a lot of time on the internet, trying to meet men in forums. Jane worried her friend because she would often go to meet them after just a few weeks, thinking she had found her ideal man, and then resulting in disappointment, but little did Jane know it was herself she should worry about. Jane was in a long-distance relationship with a man abroad, but thanks to the internet they kept in touch every day.

One day, after she returned from a holiday at her boyfriend’s home, she went online and found an e-mail, apparently from him, which was directed to another woman, telling her he loved and missed her. Jane, with tears in her eyes, contacted her boyfriend to ask for an explanation. He, of course, knew nothing, but she felt deceived and hurt and told him she wanted to split up. Luckily, he insisted she checked whether the e-mail had really come from his address – it hadn’t. The address that had been used was the same, apart from a dash, which in the heat of the moment, she hadn’t noticed. On closer examination, the language was a little different, although the nickname used for her was right.

The only person who had this information was Jane’s friend, who also happened to have asked to read some of their e-mails just two weeks earlier. Why did she do this? Jane says she can’t imagine. But when she told her friend about the ordeal, without accusing her, she immediately went offline and the two have not spoken since.

You never know who is trying to hurt you on the internet, so be careful.

original article found here

Trust turning to betrayal.

When Exes Attack... Online

Woman Says Her Name, Number Posted Online Inviting Sex

That’s what a woman said happened after she ended a relationship a month ago.

She said her former husband sent her a text message telling her to check out Craigslist. When she did, she found her name, address and phone number on the Internet site, inviting people to drop by her home for sex.

So many people responded that she was forced to change her phone number, leave her home and now she is seeking a permanent restraining order against the 44-year-old man.

KMBC's Bev Chapman reported that people who use Craigslist know that it's a place to buy, sell, trade and meet people. For this woman, it's apparently a vehicle for revenge.

"I think it's insane," she said. "I feel like I'm losing my mind over the whole deal. I'm not safe. I'm constantly looking around."

The woman, who did not want her identity revealed, said that she just learned of the posting last weekend. Her ex-husband's post was under the Kansas City list page, in the column for personals, in the casual encounters section.

The posting was crude and explicit. It described her as fit, disease and drug-free.

"Within 45 minutes, I had 17 to 18 texts and phone calls," she said. One man even showed up at her home while a police car was parked in the driveway.

This was not the first incident with her ex-husband in the more than five years since their divorce. The couple reunited for three months last year, and ended it again a month ago.

"He goes through cycles," she said. "He loves me, he hates me."

The post was removed from Craigslist. The site's operators sent a message that said they believed the post was clearly harassment.

A spokeswoman for the Jackson County Prosecutor's office said they have seen a few cases of Internet harassment, but they can do nothing for the woman without a police report.

original article here

Our exposed predators: Dan Jacoby, Jeff Dunetz, aka YIDWITHLID, and others - did this SAME THING to their victims. Glad to see this woman's police department is taking this seriously. Many don't. - EOPC

New 'Stalking' App for Mobile Phones Due Out Soon

(UNITED KINGDOM) A new social networking tool allows mobile phone users to identify people just by taking a photo.

The 'recogniser' application gives any mobile phone owner access to almost all online information about anyone they photograph.

IT expert Charlie Brown has expressed concerns about the application, saying it's a walk up start for stalkers and could see an increase in identity theft cases.

'You can pretty much know everything about (a person) that is listed on the internet within about 30 seconds,' he said.

Facebook and Twitter accounts and business cards become available when recogniser matches an image of someone's face online.

Software developer Dan Garden says there is a lot of ways to use the application sensibly.

'During a party, you might want to figure out some more information about the person standing across the room from you.'

Police and government agencies use a similar device to identify criminals.

The application could be on mobile phones around the world by September 2010.


original article here

GETTING THE UPPER HAND

EOPC gets emails every week from victims of cyberpaths, asking:

"How do I get rid of this person?  They are stalking, harassing, cyberstalking, defaming, contacting my family/friends.  I told them to stop.  I reported them to the police and others.  They are angry that I figured out their game.  They will not leave me alone."

The below article will hopefully, be of some help.

I want to talk about some things we can all do when dealing with a nutjob or control freak. Many of these I have used over the years. Some I learned from my own mistakes.

Basically, it boils down to a number of traits and attitudes:

1. Have confidence and feel powerful - If a person doesn’t have any confidence right now, with themselves or a particular situation, then I say , ’Fake it Until you Make it!’


Practice, practice, practice, until you ARE confident that circumstances will work out better for you. Act as if you ARE a powerful human being. Make eye contact with others and treat your life like it should be treated, because everyone deserves to be treated well.


Do not let anyone take it from you! Learn all you can about what being a confident person truly is. Surround yourself with confident people who are impeccable and rise to the occasion of being the best they can be, regardless of circumstances


2. Don’t try to win a pointless battle. Take care of yourself and the things in your life that are most important. Leave the petty things for another day. Pick and choose your battles! Don’t allow yourself to be controlled by ANYONE by getting involved in an argument or stupid drama. Delegate the fighting to someone else who is more experienced and a professional to handle the ’bull’. They will quickly realize what it’s like dealing with your psychopath and may suggest how to handle things from a different perspective.


3. There’s no need to be kind, friendly or nice. It’s not your job to give in to what others want all the time. You can always be professional-like, firm and say no! You are not required to provide your reasons to anyone for simply saying no. You have the right to completely ignore people who try to harass you, no matter what the threat may be. Do not react to them, and never forecast what actions you will take (if any). You are not obligated to be in a relationship with the other person if you do not want to be. You can chose your friends and those you wish to associate with. You can choose where you work. You can choose where you live and how you live.


4. Be unpredictable and mysterious. You can break the rules and do things differently. You owe it to nobody to account for anything. Never submit to their demands (but you can make it seem like you will). No one needs to know everything about you, especially someone who wants to harm or damage you. This alone can shake things up a bit - the stalker can be thrown off balance and not know what to expect anymore - and there’s nothing they can do about it.


5. Control emotions. Never get mad. Don’t cry in front of the other person. Appear upbeat and as if nothing can bother you; smile and laugh often! You do not always have to be sad - and never appear depressed (or homicidal).

Be business-like and serious when you need to be - confident and resilient. If you show emotion (especially desperation or loneliness), then you demonstrate to others what you may be feeling, and they can take advantage of you when you are vulnerable, or use it against you (legal professionals, law enforcement, and those in a position of power included).

Beat the crap out of a concrete floor (or solid ground) with a bat or a stick and scream to release your emotions (in private!) if you need to get rid of pent-up junk. I used to have to do this regularily. Now I laugh about it. But it felt great afterwards. It’s a healthy way to deal with ’stuff’.


6. Think about yourself (and your loved ones). Don’t worry what your harasser is up to or doing (or planning next). It can drive you mad not knowing, I realize that. What’s worse is you thinking up bad scenarios that have not happened (or may never)! Consider your own needs. What makes you happy and content in your life? Get your life back - start doing those things that you love again. Make it a habit, get unstuck and release yourself from all the negativity


7. Educate yourself. If you’re unfamiliar with certain topics, such as legal rights or finances, then research as much as you can. Information is power. Get yourself a free education by volunteering or working in the industry you may need to learn more about.


Most answers can be found on the internet these days, or by speaking to professionals and experts who know what they are talking about. Other answers can be located deeper within yourself. Always know what your options really are, make a Plan A, B, C and seek guidance on how you can get there.


Don’t believe everything people tell you, especially those in authority (because they could be lying, lazy, or just plain lame). Ask questions when you don’t know what to say. Don’t be afraid to ask questions! Do not assume anything. There may be more than one way to deal with your problem - there can be multiple solutions that you can test and try.


8. Dress for success. Look presentable and professional as much as you can. Do your hair, wear good clothing, spray on perfume or cologne, put on makeup to brighten your features.


Don’t look like a frazzled walking stress-case because people will treat you like one. More opportunity will arrive on your doorstep when you appear as though you expect it. Not only will you look better, you will start to feel better, appear more confident, be taken seriously and treated accordingly.


9. Get a handle on your financial situation.  If you have money that someone else wants, find a way to protect it.

Focusing on accumulation of wealth and success will preoccupy you and take your mind off the meaningless crap in your life. Remember, the one who has the gold, has more power.


10. Disassociate. By choosing to not have anything to do with the other person (unless absolutely necessary), you can gain the upper hand instantly. No one likes rejection.


If they have no way to connect with you, or harass you, and you don’t reciprocate or react, then the game they play can eventually become boring to them - they will move on to something or someone else to occupy their time (without a reaction from you). Their behaviour may escalate, but stand your ground. Keep safe and away from potentially violent situations. Do not take the bait if they make childish, harmful or made-up comments about you.


11. Be sharp and quick. Be witty, ingenious and creative. When you think you have explored every possible solution (and they have miserably failed), consider what the least obvious means to an end may be.


Go with your gut. You can outsmart a psychopathic when they least expect it, as this is all a game of cat-and-mouse to them. Most of them assume you will try to engage others to go against their smear campaign or abuse. The majority of these cases (are criminal, yes) but will never be prosecuted. Know that and accept it.


You can expose their character defects, their weaknesses and gaps in their plan. This can really get them tangled up in a ball of lies and contradictions!

Alot of the above techniques are likely employed by the stalker or psychopath in your life. I heard from a police detective once that if the cops want to catch the criminals, they have to think like them. This does not make them bad or immoral people for doing so.

So put yourself in the shoes of your harasser,and deal with their behaviour by being proactive and ahead of the game. Think like them, but do not be like them.

I believe I have the upper hand now when it comes to dealing with my psychopathic stalker. We are out of sight (and reach) - there is nothing more he (or she) can do to harm us.
 
original article found here

Could You Be a Stalker's Next Victim?

By Claire O'Boyle

(U.K.) Following a shocking report into the problem of stalking, we look at how police deal with the crime and how in one woman's case, they ended years of abuse from a stranger.


It's a crime that usually hits the headlines when it's linked to A-list celebs, but falling prey to a stalker is something that never crosses most of our minds.

But recent figures show it's on the rise, with a shocking 1 million British women and 900,000 men being targeted by predatory stalkers.

The biggest problem in tackling the crime, according to experts, is that stalking is simply not taken seriously enough in the UK.

Jane Harvey from the Network for Surviving Stalking (NSS) says: "Victims of stalking often try to shrug it off until it is too late, but the main problem is that the authorities don't take it seriously."

A report carried out for NSS found 77% of victims waited until they were targeted 100 times before going to the authorities.

"That's much too long," says Jane. "It's amazing what levels of abuse people will put up with - they don't identify the abuse as stalking.

"They tell themselves that if they ignore it, things will fizzle out. But if something happens or you are contacted repeatedly in a way that causes you alarm or distress, that is stalking."

Jane says around 50% of all cases are carried out by ex-partners, but in the other half of cases, victims have never had particularly close relationships with their stalkers - and many have never even met

them. "It can often be someone known through work, or a friend of a friend," explains Jane. "In other cases it could be someone you pass in the street.

"And with the internet as huge as it is, sometimes people never set eyes on their stalker."

Jane says one of the main problems is that so many of us are brought up to be polite and kind, and rather than rebuff unwanted attention, we often let it go.

"It means sometimes we find ourselves in slightly awkward situations and don't make it clear that we're unhappy," says Jane.

"For example, with repeated text messages from someone we don't know well, we might reply politely to one or two.

"Then after that we might ignore them, when perhaps the best, although not necessarily the easiest, thing to do is say you do not want any more texts." The latest figures relating to the number of victims in the UK are terrifying.

"Victims must get the help they need," says Jane. "Until you speak to someone who has been stalked, you never fully understand how terrifying it is.

"One man I've talked to is being stalked online. The stalker seems determined to wreck his life - he spreads lies about him on forums and chat sites.

"It's extremely distressing, this man is being used as a plaything for the stalker's amusement."

According to the law, if any unwanted or abusive acts happen on two occasions, you can go to the authorities.

Despite this guidance, the police came under fire in light of the report, and one senior officer even said forces have let victims down.

However, according to Jane, the police can be fantastic in some areas, while other victims are left floundering on their own. "It sounds like a cliche, but this is another postcode lottery," she says. "But at least now, the issue is on the agenda, and the good work done by some forces can roll-out across the UK."

One victim who had a positive experience with the police was mum-of-two Alexis Bowater, whose dangerous stalker Alexander Reeve was jailed for four years last April.

"I knew from the very first email this guy wasn't right," recalls Alexis, 39.

"I was working as a news anchor on a local TV station, ITV Westcountry, and these horrible emails came in. Some were so graphic and frightening I don't want to repeat what they said. I told my boss about the first one, and we told the police almost immediately."

The menacing messages, threatening rape and violence, chipped away steadily, telling a pregnant and petrified Alexis, "I'm watching you," and, "I know where you live".

"He was clever in the way he wrote the emails," says Alexis. "You couldn't tell if he really knew anything or if he was actually watching me. Not knowing was the most frightening part."

To the news presenter's relief, the messages slowed down when she went on maternity leave to have her first child.

But when she came back and went on screen, visibly pregnant for a second time, the emails resumed and were more menacing this time.

"It was worse with my second pregnancy," she recalls. "He sent obscene, horrible messages about me, and he was threatening my unborn baby. He said he hoped my baby would die."

Alexis became increasingly anxious throughout her pregnancy as fears about her stalker's intentions grew.

"I sometimes did late shifts at work and would have to drive myself home at 11pm," she says. "I remember taking detours because I thought someone was following me.

"I noticed someone tailgating me a couple of times, but I'll never know if it was him.

"People talk about this state of hyper vigilance you get into when you're being stalked, and I'm sure I was there.

"One night when I was pregnant again, my first baby woke me in the night. My husband was away for work and I went into the baby's room to comfort him. I heard a creaking on the stairs and thought: 'It's fine, I'll just get my mobile and call for help'. But my phone was in my bedroom. I'd have to pass the stairs to get it. I decided I'd crawl through a window to escape."

Luckily, Alexis didn't need to flee. There was no one in her home that night.

But police took her fears seriously and installed an alarm at the news presenter's home.

In many cases of online stalking, tracking the culprit is an enormous task. But in Alexis's case the police found a clue at an internet cafe in Chichester, West Sussex.

Unfortunately, they couldn't trace him any further, and he stopped sending emails.

Then in May last year the messages started again and officers took eight weeks to snare him. "In those weeks towards the end, I was frantic," she says. "I knew the police were closing in on him, but would it make him more angry?"

In April, after two years of harassment and threats, 25-year old Reeve was jailed and given a lifetime restraining order.

"Putting a face to it all should have meant more, but he was just a sad man. He meant nothing to me," explains Alexis.

She says the police helped her cope with the ordeal. "They were very supportive. But it's a pity if it's not that way across the country because it's a scary thing to go through. The police did a good job in my case, so hopefully other forces can follow their example."

For support and information about stalking in the U.K., visit http://nss.org.uk.

Stalking

What you need to know -

• 18% of stalking victims have been sexually assaulted
• 12% say the stalker threatened to harm their children
• 15% say their pets have been abused by the stalker
• 67% of victims were spied on by their stalker
• 40% of stalkers got details from the victim's friends
• 27% got information from the victim's workplace or family
• 77% of victims didn't go to the police until they'd been bothered 100 times

What to do if you're stalked -

1. Show no emotion, regardless of how scared or angry you are. Never confront or agree to meet your stalker.
2. Call local police to find out which officer is running the case.
3. Tell your friends, family, neighbours and work colleagues.
4. Keep evidence like texts, emails, letters and parcels. Record anything that could be proof and keep a diary.
5. If you get calls from a stalker, in the U.K. use 1471 to track their number.
6. If you're being followed, try to stay calm. If you're driving, head for the nearest police station to get help.
7. If you ever feel in imminent danger, call 999. (or 911 in the U.S.)

original article here

FOR THE VICTIMS: BETRAYAL, YOUR FEAR & THE CYBERPATH

Once you find out what the cyberpath is they may do a combination of any of the following:

• Disappear and/or block you and/or change their nicknames, identity & emails
• Lash out at you
• Smear you
• Belittle you & call you names
• Tell everyone that you both know you are "crazy" or "stalking them" or (the oldest one there is) you're a "scorned man/woman."
• many other nasty, malicious things worthy of a 9 year old

This is betrayal. This is what pathological people do when their 'mask of normalcy' is pulled off. You reel from it because you can't understand. You can't imagine what happened to the attentive loving guy you met who seemed understanding. Nothing happened. That wasn't the REAL PERSON. This monster who is out for your virtual heart is the real person.

Everything else? was a lie.

All you will get now is narcissistic rage. Anger that you busted them. And threats of harm to you, your family and so on. Just read through the stories on the right of our exposed predators and see how they treated their victims.

Take a look at Ed Hicks, Doug Beckstead, Dunetz/ Yidwithlid, Brad Dorsky or Dan Jacoby . Look at how they were to their targets once they got bored or angry with them. Watch their rage, their blame-shifting, their guilt tripping and their disappearing acts from the lives of people who people who really loved and cared about them.

The one thing we can tell you here at EOPC is that 90% of the time, the threats are a form of "control by temper tantrum." Like a 6 year old they are mad that you won't play their game or said "NO MORE" to them. Or they got bored and don't want to play with you anymore, so your emails and attention is suddenly ANNOYING. Now they kick, scream, say rude things & stomp away hoping you will be so upset you will let them start up their game again. Either with you or someone else.

Or, that you are so scared of them you dare don't expose them or tell others. DON'T FALL FOR IT!

And don't for a second think they haven't told their online friends, offline friends, partner/ spouse, job... that you are "obsessed with" them or a "scorned" person. So when you send just one more email or make one more call hoping for explanation, closure, something... they say "see!! see how she is!! she's nuts and won't leave me alone! she's trying to manipulate me!"

What childish bull.

If you really want to help them? Expose them. Make them accountable. Don't let them scare you into silence. Help others stay away! Maybe they will get their relationship/ marriage right. Maybe they will go into LONG TERM counseling. The odds are 98% of them don't.

"The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein

But don't let them scare you. Stand up to a bully no matter how long or what it takes. Take back what they took from you. Your power, your dignity and your peace of mind. - EOPC

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Betrayal, when realized, is a phenomenal existential feeling. Suddenly, your world is no longer the one you believed in. You question reality, but most of all you question yourself.

How, you wonder, could I have been so naive, stupid, blind, trusting, unseeing, unknowing? It may be difficult to believe, but these questions are good. YOU are the normal person, the one who aligns reality (he was so nice to me, he was my friend) with a cognitive belief: he ACTS as if he likes me, he TELLS me he likes me, I see no reason not to believe him because in my past, people who act and speak this way, CAN be trusted. There is congruency. But not now.

Suddenly, you learn that someone trusted - a spouse, lover, family member, close friend - has been putting you down, lying, manipulating others against you, and yet maintaining a stance of intimacy with you.

The world is not clear, the ground you stand on is wobbly. You will never feel good about this. You will not "Get Over" it. But you CAN move forward. You can do so by realizing that no matter how awful the betrayal, YOU are the normal person and this betrayal comes from rage.

This person envies you in some way, is enraged about it, and MUST put you down behind your back. They MUST harm you.

They have no choice. But you do.

In the world of normals, after we get over the shock, we can use this experience to become stronger, to help others, to learn to avoid this particular toxin, and to calm ourselves that the higher moral ground is ours. It's too bad this person acted as he did, we wish he did not, but we are NOT diminished by their pathology. Wiser, sadder, but never diminished.
~~~~

EOPC believes that cyberpathy is a form of pathology. Either narcissistic or sociopathic/ anti-social. Because its exploitative and the cyberpath has no remorse or guilt. Therefore we publish this article for the victims of cyberpaths.

Don't believe they aren't hurting you on purpose. They are. You are not the 'object' they treated you like. Stand up and tell them. They will probably disappear from your life while painting themselves as the victim - OF YOU!

Stop giving them the opportunity - stop trying to "get through" to them, stand up for yourself and starting healing you!

Hurting You Isn't Something Narcissists Do by Accident
by Kathy Krajco

In all the jabber about narcissism, the worst noise is this idea that hurting you is something narcissists do by accident.

If you get nothing else out of "What Makes Narcissists Tick," get the message that frees you of that ridiculous belief. Which is nothing but a baseless assumption.

I don't ask you to take my word for this. Test what I say when I say that narcissists hurt you on purpose. Anyone can test any narcissist.

Here's how: The next time the narcissist is hurting your feelings or making you feel low, let your feelings show and tell him or her how they are making you feel asking them to stop it.Be prepared for a shock. Any normal human being would soften and let up, but a narcissist will do exactly the opposite.

What does that mean?

Is revving up their engines, kicking in the afterburners, and running you right over an "accident" after you show your soft underbelly and beg them to let up on you?

It's no "accident," that's for sure.

Want to see a narcissistic rage? That's no "accident" either. The test: Just fall to your knees in tears begging them to have a heart and stop kicking you around like dirt.
The narcissist's response? He or she blows up into a rage. Is that rage an "accident" when nothing but how deeply they are hurting you provokes it?

No, it's a willful and wanton outrage.

Now hear this: THEY DON'T DO IT BY ACCIDENT. They aren't just inconsiderate and touchy.

Test their "touchiness" (if you can do so safely, or have somebody not at the N's mercy test it - someone who can defend themselves).

Rage right back in their face. Act just as wild right back in their face. Threaten right back. Speak abusively right back.

Now any normal person would be provoked to rage by your doing this in their face. But narcissists are so UNtouchy that they do the opposite. Watch how instantaneously the raging narcissist becomes meek and mild and switches to his "I-wouldn't-hurt-a-fly-mask."

Don't take my word for it. Test it.

You CANNOT insult a narcissist who isn't in a position to bully you! It's impossible. Try it, you'll see. Your lack of vulnerability gives them skin a foot thick! (Not to mention a rubber spine.)

"Touchy" my you-know-what.

They aren't touchy at all. So perceived slights aren't what set them off. The VULNERABILITY of a TARGET OF OPPORTUNITY is what sets them off - IF there are no witnesses.

That's predation, not touchiness.

Narcissists aren't inconsiderate of your feelings. To the contrary, they are extremely considerate of your feelings. Your feelings are exactly what they are trying to affect. They closely observe how you react every time they do something to hurt you.

And they are like sharks, able to smell a drop of blood a mile away. Why? Because your hurt feelings are their pain killing drug.

They are addicted to it. Ever since childhood.

That's what their mental illness is, an addiction. (In fact, all addictions are classed as mental illness.)

So where do people get the stupid idea that narcissists aren't to blame for what they do?

It's asinine to think that narcissists can't control themselves when we see them controlling themselves perfectly whenever witnesses are present. So, what? being behind closed doors makes them suddenly out of control of themselves? Baloney.

Their problem isn't lack of self control; it's lack of conscience. Conscience is what makes people behave the same in the dark as in the light of day.

Okay, they have an addiction to trampling people. They are hooked on the childish high they get from throwing somebody down, stepping on the victim's back, and thumping their chest with a Tarzan yell.

But since when does an addiction amount to a carte blanche? An addiction is just a TEMPTATION. It doesn't remove the addict's responsibility to resist that temptation.

If a heroin addict sees you with heroin, he will attack and may kill you for it - IF there are no witnesses present.

But do we absolve him of his responsibility for the crime just because he's addicted to heroin? Of course not.

Same with the narcissist. Since childhood he has done this mind-altering drug of abusing people and is addicted to it. He addicted himself.

Yet addicted as he is, he demonstrates the ability to control himself by behaving whenever witnesses are present, misbehaving only when he thinks he can get away with it.

Innocence that is not.

He does what he does because nothing but getting his drug matters to him. So he has no conscience. He lives to get it, whenever he can get away with it.

So, hurting others isn't something narcissists do by accident. It's how they live.

The victims of narcissists must understand this. They must quit falling for the masks predation conceals itself behind.

I don't care how much the poor, little, ole narcissist whines that he didn't mean to, and claims that he has an excuse because HIS feelings were somehow hurt, and weeps about what a miserable childhood he had and how sad and forlorn he'll be if you go away, and all that crap. It's a joke.

Painful as this is to admit, the victims of narcissists MUST understand it. It's the bottom line. It predicates your choices.

Don't take my word for it: test and see. 2 + 2 = 4. Always. Even on Thursdays.

SOURCE

Congratulations! You're an Online Stalker

by Edward Lovett

Some recent headline-grabbing cases of stalking range from frightening to downright horrific. But there’s also a subtler form of stalking, one that doesn’t require physical proximity: online stalking.

It’s one thing to occasionally check the Facebook page of an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, but it’s another, says psychologist and addiction expert Seth Meyers, to obsessively track someone on the web.

Here are three signs you might have crossed the line and should consider getting professional help.

1. “Spending a lot of time trying to get as much information as possible about the person,” Meyers said in an interview with ABC News’ “20/20.” Are you missing deadlines or canceling social plans because of long Web-surfing sessions and-or constant monitoring of the person’s social media posts?
2. “Your stalking behavior is done in secret,” Meyers said. This means lurking on sites, leaving no trace you were there, like a comment on a post, for example.
3. “Using multiple social media sites to get as much information as they can,” Meyers said, characterized as a “hunt” compelled by a deep-seated insecurity. “The root of it is about feeling that this other person has something that you don’t,” he said. “You’d feel more complete if you have what they have.

original article found here

MAINE MAN CYBERHARASSES EX - FOUND GUILTY

by Josh Hale

(U.S.A.) A Maine man accused of using the Internet to stalk his ex-girlfriend in Louisiana and to steal her identity has pleaded guilty to cyberstalking.

Prosecutors say 41-year-old Shawn Sayer continued to stalk his ex-girlfriend even after she changed her name and moved from Maine to Louisiana.

They say he caused men seeking sexual encounters to show up at her Louisiana home by uploading sexually explicit videos of her to porn sites using her real name and street address. Authorities also say he set up a fake Facebook account to post the videos and extending sexually explicit invitations through a phony Yahoo! Messenger account.

Sayer previously pleaded not guilty but he changed his plea on Monday. He faces up to 10 years in federal prison if a judge takes into account a prior stalking conviction.

original article found here

TAKE YOUR CONTROL BACK!

STALKING YOUR STALKER

Are you, or someone you love, so damn frustrated by a stalker (or cyberpath) you just want to scream? Adding insult to injury most recommendations come in the form of things you must do. You, not the stalker, are advised to turn your world upside in hopes it might stop. Law enforcement tells you there is not enough to make an arrest. Nobody or nothing seems to help.

When you are at your wits end I suggest you stalk the stalker. No, I don’t mean literally go out and follow them around. Nor do I mean gather all their personal information you can get your hands on. What I do mean is learn as much as you can about them. You need to become your own expert on how they think.

Why? Your stalking will offer some relief in two ways. Your research will reveal you are not crazy and that you are just an object used for pleasure.

Let’s go inside the mind of one type of stalker, the psychopath. If you have trouble grasping it, don’t be surprised. Most of us do not think the same way.

I want to focus on the psychopath because they are extremely destructive with potential life ending consequences. We have no way of predicting if your stalker’s desire includes this possibility. All are not created equally.

Unless they come out and admit prior instances you are left in perilous fear of the prospect. In your own best interest keep a positive outlook.

For the purpose of this article I am going to assume your stalker is a psychopath.

Generally, most people’s behavior is constrained. We are not typically aware of it, but it happens just the same. It is this natural constraint that your stalker may lack. Without it, their game of life is played by totally different rules.

Consideration of their rules helps explain their actions and might translate into some predictability on your part. You did not volunteer for any of this, but you are in it just the same.

Believe it or not your stalker has the advantage right from the start. By the time you realize anything is going on they have your life down. Someway, somehow, somewhere you became an object they have a desire to play with. Why you are the chosen has no precise answer.

To ask why they don’t stop is easier to understand. Their unfettered actions will continue until they no longer have the object (you) available or they become interested in a new object (phew).

Obviously if you are able to build a case strong enough your stalker is off to prison for a while, the game is over or maybe just suspended. In the worst case scenario you do not live to tell about it, then the game is over.

The best outcome and one that you may have a slight influence over is transference of interest. This is when you are replaced. These individuals are predators and they will stalk their entire life. Some prey may never be aware of it until it is over. But in your case you are very aware.

The other way your stalker has an advantage over you is their actions are unfettered. You may have no appreciation of this fact. Get some advantage over the the situation and wrap your mind around the concept their actions are delivered to you without any feelings for you whatsoever. You may be dealing with them the same way your deal with anybody else. Big mistake.

How you feel about the way you are being treated makes no difference. To them you are like a soccer ball, kicked around for pleasure. Pleading with them does not compute.

Imagine you are out in a huge grassy meadow listening to your favorite music. Nobody is around. A song comes on you love. You jump up and start dancing like never before. No constraint, the music moves your body without a care in the world. The music is your motivator and your body is responding to a desire. Nobody is around to inhibit or constrain your actions. Try it sometime. You may dance like never before.

Most of us are inhibited by what others might think and constrained by not wanting to hurt another. If your stalker is a psychopath, then they are not.

Why they do not stop is because they are neither inhibited nor constrained. They do not have the ability to identify with your feelings. Remember how you feel in the meadow. Nobody is around to identify with so you feel free to move your body in accordance with your desire.

Your stalker lives in this meadow all the time. Only their meadow may be downtown New York City.

What about the fact they are living a normal life outside their stalking behavior. If you believe that you need to take yourself back to the meadow. Nothing is normal about their life. Getting along in a world that has different rules comes from learning and executing taught behavior. It is that simple.
When faced with something unique their true identity is revealed. If you know what to look for you will see it. Their response will be inappropriate, unless they get lucky.

Highly intelligent psychopaths are masters at this. What they learn as children is executed almost flawlessly as adults. Almost is the key word here. If you watch them long enough you will see repetitive inappropriate behavior.

Stalking is inappropriate behavior. If a stalker has a desire to stalk, they will pursue it irrespective of any attempts to teach them what is appropriate. Your telling them what they are doing is wrong is a waste of energy.

Research how the psychopath’s mind works.

Take back control of your life. Stalk Your Stalker ASAP.

SOURCE & OTHER ARTICLES - CLICK THIS

Woman Posts her Stalker's Details to 'Defend Herself'

By Chris Parsons

Taking action: German high jumper Ariane Friedrich posted 

her stalker's personal details to 'defend herself'

A sleazy Internet stalker who sent explicit photos to a world high jump star got more than he bargained for - when she posted his personal details to her thousands of fans. German athletics star Ariane Friedrich - who also works as a police officer - named and shamed her online stalker after being emailed photos of a man's genitals.

The 28-year-old star, who will be gunning for high jump gold at the London olympics, posted the man's name, email address and home address on her Facebook page 'as a way of making clear that I am prepared to act'. Friedrich, a bronze medalist a the 2009 World Athletics Championships, said she posted the man's details to 'defend herself' from the many inappropriate emails she receives. In her role as a police officer, the German is also thought to be planning to bring charges against the man. In one post on her official Facebook page, Friedrich, from Frankfurt, told her fans: 'I’ve been offended in the past, sexually harassed and I’ve had a stalker before. 'It’s time to act; it’s time to defend myself. And that’s what I’m doing. No more and no less.'

She defiantly insisted in another post that just because she has a higher profile than others, she does not believe she should be the subject of those who want to 'attack, insult, or sexually harass'.

Friedrich's manager, Günter Eisinger, attempted to play down the incident amid concerns it could affect her preparations for London 2012.  Mr Eisinger told The Local on Saturday: 'The issue has nothing to do with the public. 'We can do without any stress factors.'

original article found here

CAUTION: Abusive Partners Use Social Networking to Stalk

By Marissa Carruthers

(Sunderland, U.K.) Abusive partners are turning to technology to find sick new ways of stalking their victims, the Echo can reveal.

An increasing number of Sunderland women are seeking refuge after campaigns of terror, including being stalked using GPS tracking devices and apps on mobile phones, hacking into computers and online harassment.

Experts say advances in new technology have given abusers a tighter rein on their victims by handing them extra tools to trace their every move.

Clare Phillipson, of Wearside Women in Need, said: “Abusive men will always find new ways to either exercise control over their partners or abuse them. We currently have concerns with new technology that enables men to stalk their partners using mobile phones.

“They are able to activate the sat nav function without anyone even knowing, and this means they can see exactly where they are all the time. There have been cases of men sitting there and watching people walking round the streets then use Google maps to see exactly what house they’ve gone into and get a complete picture.”

The organisation has also seen a worrying rise in the number of women being beaten for posting innocent status updates on social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter and computer hacking to keep tabs on their partners.

In extreme cases, women’s movements inside their home have been monitored by CCTV cameras put up by possessive partners wanting to spy on their spouse.

“Websites like Facebook also give men a tool to constantly monitor their partners,” said Clare.

“We have seen a lot of times when women have left innocuous messages like you and I would say, like ‘had a nice night out with my friend last night’, and their partner has got violent. In some cases with more affluent men, CCTV cameras have been put up inside and around a house that can be accessed any time through mobile phones or computers.

“New technologies are making it much easier. Before, you couldn’t be in touch with your partner 24/7, but now we’re getting women beaten up because she’s at work and had to switch her phone off.”

There has also been several reported cases of wife-beaters turning to social networking sites to continue their harassment campaign after their partner has left them.

“I would say to people that if they are separating they should look very carefully at their Facebook privacy settings and their friends,” Clare added.

“There are many cases of abusive partners using them to build up a whole picture of their lives.”

original article found here

PREDATORS

Punishing narcissists [by exposing them] is not being mean to them. It may be the only thing that can help. And, as for their victims, it is simple justice, the right thing to do for their sake too. - What Makes Narcissists Tick

What is the predator thinking? What's going on in the mystery behind those steely blue eyes? What do they see in you?

Something to love for anything but lunch?

How many tiger-tamers and lion-tamers have fooled themselves into thinking they had developed a relationship with these beasts? Fooled themselves into unknowing that every minute of every day in the cage that tiger was tempted.

That's what tiger-taming is - astounding an audience with the audacity of dangling yourself as bait before a predator.

Until one day, when out of the blue, almost off-handedly, Tiger hops down off the pedestal and eats the tamer to just be done with it already.

How many times have authorities similarly fooled themselves about a child molester, rapist, or serial killer - thinking they can safely be released from prison? Then, out on the street, bait is constantly dangled before their eyes.

Sooner or later....

One might as well expect a wolf to be lovey-dovey with lambs or expect that tiger to roam the streets without hurting anyone. It ain't gonna happen.

It's all because of the way a predator VIEWS you. There is no connection in that look. It's a tiger and you aren't - you are lunch.

A narcissist has no proper relationship with him- or her-self (N's identify with their image instead of their buried inner selves), so how can they have a proper human relationship with anyone else? They see nothing to identify with in you.

Predators - the way to deal with them is simply to get and stay a safe distance away from them. They may resist the temptation today, but if you keep dangling bait before their eyes, sooner or later you know what is going to happen.
So let no one tell you it's mean to divorce one or cut off contact with one. I don't care how much the narcissist cries about it or even if he or she threatens suicide if you leave. People might as well tell you that you have a moral obligation to remain within striking distance of a great white shark because it's mean to stay away and let it go hungry. Absurd.

A predator has no RIGHT to prey, no claim on your life that you must fulfill by allowing them to use you as their whipping boy.

It's just too bad that they will be sad and unhappy without one, because that's THEIR problem: you have a right to pursue your own happiness.

original article here

The Heart of Why We Run This Site

Yes, EOPC took on the Megan Meier/MySpace Suicide case six years ago. Why?

Because it goes right to the heart of why we run this site. Every month we get letters begging us for help or direction from those who have been targeted, seduced, used, lied to & abused and then discarded, stalked, threatened and smeared by people with internet access who think the web is one big anonymous playground. A place where you are faceless & nameless and can do or say anything you want to or about anyone with impugnity.

WRONG!

EOPC does believe that most of these people are pathological. They could be sociopathic, suffering from Destructive Narcissistic Pattern, Borderline, just evil or a combination. The consequences are very real.

The Cyberpath wants to walk away with no consequences. They become enraged when their victims ask for accountability and/or expose them... saying they are "obsessed: and "need to get over it." (scroll down to the comments in this post for an example of what one of our exposed predators said to his victim!)

Sorry, IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. Our victims are ill - often because of the abuse of the cyberpath, divorced, in debt and suffering because of these PREDATORS. In the Meier case - a VULNERABLE 13 YEAR OLD IS DEAD.

Telling helps everyone:
The Victim - Gets the validation they need. No more "get over it" or "move on" or "give it a rest." The Victims have been through trauma that has nothing to do with a simple relationship break up. They have been brainwashed, controlled, manipulated, eviscerated and tossed aside like garbage. And other human beings aren't garbage. This is a perfect example of the lack of regard & empathy the cyberpath/ pathological has for their victim(s)!

The Predator/ Cyberpath - Gets a needed & deserved accountability moment. If they want counseling or help to stop their online behaviors - they can write to us, we will try to help find some help!

We have victims on this site who have attempted suicide, self-harmed, ended up in the hospital and almost all now suffer from some degree of PTSD - which will take years, if ever, to get over. They are NOT drama mamas, over-reacting or 'dwelling' - they are INJURED. Seriously & profoundly psychologically INJURED. And anyone, including therapists or doctors, who tell them to "get on with their lives" and "move on" is re-injuring them!

Telling is a huge step in healing for victims.

This site has changed hands a few times over the years. It's run by more than one person and we will keep this site up for anyone who needs help and needs to tell their story.

Society needs to hold adults ACCOUNTABLE. Of course these predators cry "foul" and start a non-stop smear campaign against the victim. The victim was "scorned; its just revenge; the victim is trying to ruin my life/family; the victim is lying/ making it all up; the victim is over-reacting/ crazy/ a nutjob."

CLICK HERE FOR 'DO THEY EVER ADMIT THEY LIED OR TWISTED THE FACTS?'


The rest of you cyberpaths? Your pathology is showing when you minimize, trivialize or spit on the profound damage you have done to your victims and often their families as well!

While EOPC focuses on Adult-on-Adult Cyberpathy - Megan's predator was an ADULT. An ADULT who targeted, seduced, used, lied to & abused and then discarded and smeared her - and pushed Megan to suicide. Lori Drew KNEW Megan was battling ADD, weight issues and depression - but Drew didn't care.

"I've said some pretty mean things online just typing. I never realized how mean it was. Now there's no way I would do that. I would call people out if they said something like that." - Blaine Buckles

Most of our Cyberpaths DON'T CARE! Some examples:

"It was all just a game" Beckstead

"I'm the victim here; poor me" Langley-Guy

"she's crazy... she was stalking me" Dan Jacoby

"If you loved me you'd stand by my lies & fraud" Nathan Ernest Burl Thomas

"They went in with their eyes wide open" (except he coerced them with lies and his victims had NO CLUE what his true agenda was) - Jeff Dunetz/ YidwithLid

"It's all false - my wives & girlfriends set me up. I am going to sue them all, including Dr. Phil!" Ed Hicks (who is still trolling online under various fake names and fake profiles inspite of doing jail time!)

"all women are whores" Brad Dorsky.

A few of our exposed cyberpaths are so self-involved and delusional they firmly believe this site was set up BECAUSE OF THEM - by THEIR VICTIMS - just to HUMILIATE THEM.

There are links on the right to our stories, where to post your Cyberpath on the web and articles & places to get help.

To any Cyberpaths/ Predators who may be reading this - Click here.

EOPC ALSO CALLS FOR NO VIGILANTE JUSTICE - NO HARASSMENT and NO ATTACKING SOMEONE'S PROPERTY.

We are reposting a comment from 2006 we read on one of the many blogs talking about the Megan Meier case for everyone to read. It could be extrapolated and applied to all our victim's cases:
Who is responsible? Everyone is responsible depending upon their ability to influence these events – both before and after. The media was shameful. It was not until the world at large became aware of and outraged by this that anyone local saw fit to take action. Most of that action was cynical damage control. It was window-dressing; more salt in the wound. Predictably, that has enraged the world even more.

All that evil needs to prosper is for good people to do nothing. Evil prospered. It did so, not for a day, a week or even a month. It prospered for more than a year and flourishes still. After that length of time I would say that they 'aided and abetted' this crime by continued failure to act. They aggravate things even further by a studied effort to deny their role in this.

Someone took an action. It caused a death. The local community in question appears to have made ‘littering’ the charge for such cyber-stalking crimes. That is an outrage.

A crime was committed. I am not aware of a single jurisdiction under common law that would not allow a prosecution of some kind for this crime. That the family has had trouble bringing even a civil suit is beyond comprehension. I am sure the larger community will correct that, no matter how hard the local community tries to stop it.

So many entities had some type of duty here. They all failed to do that duty. An adult stalked, SEXUALLY harassed, and drove a child to her death. You heard me right. They stalked her. An adult sexually engaged a child over the Internet. The child subsequently died. The order and temporal proximity of events shows clearly that the child died due to the actions of that adult predator. The perpetrator further harassed the grieving family after the fact. That included making a complaint to the police against the family of the dead child. If this were a movie, it would be hard to swallow the premise it is so outrageous.

I believe that a sense of remorse has an influence on sentencing. When a jury finds this predator guilty, that person’s persistent lack of remorse should inform a sentence sufficiently punitive to act as an effective deterrent. The consensus in the ‘blogosphere’ seems to be that the main perpetrator should go to jail and stay there. I agree. Why allow them to do it again?

What happened here, and then dragged on for so long without a just resolution, did not happen in a vacuum. That entire community sat by and watched this unfold with hardly a whisper of dissent. Arguments about what they could and could not do and what they actually did do only add fuel to the fire. A child is dead. We know who many of the responsible parties are. The most responsible party has admitted at least a portion of their role to the police and there exists a record of this. The entire community is aware of what has happened. Some members of that community have been aware for long enough to prosecute, convict and imprison the main perpetrator. Instead, they did NOTHING. The only official action appears to have been on a complaint AGAINST the grieving family. A child is dead, her family is destroyed and that family has seen NO comfort or redress from their local community. The only penalties extracted from the perpetrators have resulted from the widespread visceral revulsion of the world at large.

This is telling CLICK HERE

As of this writing, the link above allows a search of the St. Charles Chamber of Commerce. You will find them proudly promoting the business of the predator. Search for “Family Savings Magazine” and there they are in all their gory glory. How monstrous is that? Would you do business with members of that Chamber of Commerce? I would not. I wonder what other disgraceful self-serving lies exist on that site?

I am a web professional. I taught networking. I have been a denizen of cyberspace since before the web was born. Friends and family of mine are psychologists and educators in the schools at all levels. I am also the parent of happy healthy young girls approaching the age of the child in question. I have devoted considerable time and had expert help to make our Internet environment a safe one for my kids. I have trained the kids well to protect against such things as happened here. Even MY children could be vulnerable to such a predator. No parent, however well prepared can entirely protect his or her children when a predator attacks. We all have a stake. We must stop these predators on as many fronts as we can.

Of the litany of shameful acts here, perhaps the vilest is the continued vicious assault on the victim and her surviving family. The post-mortem defamation of the murdered child is repulsive. The attempt to make excuses for the predator is shocking. It is inexcusable. Apologists suggest that the parents should have done more. They suggest the child was somehow at fault, or defective. This is false. Any young girl could be vulnerable to such a thing. Any parent, no matter how vigilant, could have been the victim of such an act. By all accounts, the murdered child’s mother did everything in her power to prevent this. She is without blame by any standard of measure. This was a brutal act of sex-related violence on a child. Attempting to minimize or justify this by laying a shred of blame at the feet of the grieving family is disgusting. It is disgusting because it is wrong. It is doubly disgusting because they know it is wrong. It is trebly disgusting that they promote these lies for their own benefit at the expense of the victims. This family has already paid the ultimate price. Every single adult in that entire community should be ashamed that they allow this injustice to continue. Clearly, those blaming the victims are beyond shame. Nothing can redeem them. Perhaps, though, a few others have a sense of shame. They were complicit in making the family no longer able to defend themselves. Will they finally, FINALLY after more than a YEAR, stand and defend this stricken child and her broken family? I will not hold my breath.

What have any of them done to heal this family? It breaks my heart to think of that poor man sitting in his darling daughter’s room alone. I am a father, and I am simply unable to imagine it fully. My mind will not allow itself to go there. Without aid, he will likely come to even further harm. What has the community done about this? All that seems to come from that community is more self-serving excuses. They have not even the human decency to apologize. I challenge the other fathers in that community to reach out and help that grieving father. I challenge the mothers in that community to reach out and help that grieving mother. I challenge clergy, social workers and other ‘helping professions’ to reach out and help heal what is left of that shattered family. I challenge that community to stand up, take care of its own and show a little backbone and dignity to the world outside their doors.

Apologists seem to think that it was to be expected. It was not.
They seem to expect it to happen again. It should not.
They feel no sense that they should even TRY to prevent it in the future. Any future event like this is doubly on their heads.

• Who allows an adult to stalk a child and drive them to their death?
• Who deals with such an event after the fact by attempting to minimize their responsibility?
• Who, when subjected to public scrutiny for such disgrace, attempts to escape by trying to vilify and further injure the victims? We are talking about a dead CHILD here.
• What kind of monster attempts to blame a child for her own murder at the hands of a predatory adult? It is disturbing to see someone attempt to gain a tiny advantage when it comes at a great expense from another.

Surely, there must be SOMEONE with moral courage in that community. If they exist, they should champion real action to right this wrong and prevent it in the future.

Here is a hint: Step number one would be to FINALLY admit that it was wrong and accept your share of responsibility. Most would have been unaware before the fact, in the days, weeks, or even months (!) after the fact. Can anyone in that community claim to be unaware NOW?

Proposing to make a similar thing a misdemeanor insults the memory of this child and shames the community all the more. The sex-related murder of a child is not a misdemeanor. Claiming that they, meantime, cannot prosecute the existing murderer is just smarmy damage control. It does not play well with me. I doubt it plays well with anyone in the rest of the world either. I pray for the sake of that community that it sounds discordant to at least a few of those that reside there.

The people there that are responsible for law enforcement lack the skill and moral rectitude to make this right. They have amply demonstrated that. The community should replace them. They should do so before anyone else gets hurt. These incumbents can do nothing about the sex-related homicide of a child. They are not likely much use for anything else. Get rid of them right now. Whoever was sitting at those desks are plainly not as good as empty desks. Even if you do not replace them, you will be better off.

Precious few in that community seem to have any moral compass. Perhaps they can take a hint from the torrent of outrage in the larger community. What happened was wrong both during and after the fact. It continues to be wrong now. Each day they fail to act takes them further in the wrong direction.

I pray that everyone in that community with a shred of decency will DEMAND that this be resolved respectably and that they will back their demands by action.

The furor will die down, but some have indelibly etched their shame on the memory of the Internet. Anyone with the name of that community attached to their names should be able to point to effective action they have taken to correct this injustice. Otherwise, they will carry this stain with them forever. Making amends at some point is better than doing nothing. However, the longer they continue to deny their part and fail to act, the harder it will be to cleanse them of shame.

Good luck with that.

My heart goes out to that family. What happened to them is the unthinkable. They deserve help and healing. Fortunately, they have an enormous ‘mind-share’ in the world now. They can use it to get aid, even if the local community continues to resist it. Literally millions of people are aware of this now. I can find no credible evidence of anyone in the real world that does not see the mother, father and child here as blameless victims. For their daughter’s memory, I hope that mother and father can find the strength to heal and carry on. It would be the best way to honor their daughter’s memory and keep it alive.

As trite as it sounds, true healing cannot happen without forgiveness. The entire community of perpetrators does not deserve forgiveness. They are beneath it. However, the family deserves the healing they will get by taking the moral high ground ...That goes for thee and me. This is not a call for the mob to descend. It is not a call for revenge. It is a call for justice to aid in the healing. Justice helps us to forgive...

Justice calls for punishment that acts as a deterrent and sends a message. What happened was very wrong. We should acknowledge that with vigor. However, vengeance, per se, is an empty thing. It always does more harm than good. I hope the family will try to turn their hearts away from thoughts of revenge. No action they can take will be mightier than the storm that swirls around the villains now. All of those creepy people were nearly as diminished as creatures could be before this began. The people in that community that turned their backs on the injured family will not likely give comfort to the perpetrators and their supporters. They all began small, went down from there and the world diminished them even further. They are just so many insects now. There is no comfort to get from these miserable creatures. Let justice take its course, if it will. The family should cast attention to healing and honoring the memory of their beautiful child.

The world would be a better place if the people in that community were to make amends through action. That action should show genuine contrition for (to be charitable) a job poorly done. As huge a tidal shift as such a thing is, I sincerely hope that the mother and father can find forgiveness in their heart for one another and heal the rift in their marriage. They will not find more than a decade of shared love and care for their beautiful child with any other partner. They owe themselves and each other a second chance.

Finally, though it might seem that such a thing is beyond the power of prayer, I say a prayer for the mother, the father and the child and I hope anyone reading this will join me in that. Even if you do not believe in the power of prayer, the gesture has meaning

POSTED BY DEEPNORTH at BLUEMERLE

As of this writing, Lori Drew's conviction was overturned and she is free in the community!! If anyone has any more updates - please let us know.


SOME PEOPLE ARE BORN EVIL