Warning: About Posting Abuse on Twitter and Facebook

By Declan Harvey

The government's top legal adviser has issued a new warning over abusive tweets and Facebook posts.

Attorney General Dominic Grieve said users should be aware of how easy it can be to break the law. But he said the government didn't need to introduce new laws because existing ones already make it illegal to "grossly offend" or "cause distress".

It comes after 21-year old Liam Stacey was jailed for mocking footballer Fabrice Muamba on Twitter.

Dominic Grieve said: "If somebody goes down to the pub with printed sheets of paper and hands it out, that's no different than if somebody goes and does a tweet. The idea that you have immunity because you're an anonymous tweeter is a big mistake. If necessary we will take action. I don't want to take action but if I think it is necessary to prevent crime, such as racially aggravated harassment, then I won't hesitate to do it."

He says they are leading the way internationally when tackling it.

"The warning is this," he said. "We fight for people's rights in order to make free comment. But with that comes a responsibility to act within the law".

Mr Hyde also said they could quite easily trace owners of online accounts even if they had been closed.

Sarah, 21, is a student at Pontypridd in south Wales and thinks schools should teach children about the risks. She said: "You don't really know much about what you can and can't say, so you don't know what's a case you can report and what's not. So until you know that, you're not going to report anyone."

'Unlawful purposes'
In a statement Facebook said: "Facebook is a safe and positive platform for people to share things with the people who matter to them. On the rare occasions when people come across content or behaviour which makes them uncomfortable, there are reporting tools on almost every page of the site.

"We co-operate with the police to the extent required by law to make sure the tiny minority of people intent on causing harm to others are brought to justice." Twitter referred to their terms of use, which say: "You may not use our service for any unlawful purposes or in furtherance of illegal activities. Accounts engaging in these behaviours may be investigated for abuse. Accounts under investigation may be removed from search for quality. Twitter reserves the right to immediately terminate your account without further notice in the event that, in its judgment, you violate these rules."

original article found here

Ex Jailed for Posting Amateur Porn Tape Online

By James Titcomb

A jilted boyfriend was jailed today for taking revenge on his ex-lover - by putting their home-made sex videos onto the internet.

Lee Ball, 39, from Bridgend, South Wales, filmed his girlfriend in a variety of sex positions for their own collection during their short romance. But when they broke up, Ball posted their sex games onto a website, starting a nine-month campaign of harassment.

He cruelly sent emails with links of the videos to her friends saying: 'Look at this website,' as well as posting abusive messages on Facebook and scrawling offensive phrases on the back door of her house.

Cardiff Crown Court heard how the woman, 35, suffered serious psychological harm over nine months of abuse. Prosecutor Gareth James said: 'In a nine-month-long campaign she was verbally abused, belittled, humiliated and terrified by Ball.

'When they were together she agreed to recording their sex life. But after they split up those images were posted on the internet. He sent messages to her friends with links to the material and left disgusting and demeaning messages on Facebook criticising her appearance. Ball also contacted cosmetic surgeons in her name, ordered Sky TV for her, sent her an abusive Valentine’s Day card and wrote offensive sex messages on the back door of her house.'

The court heard Ball was ashamed and accepted what he had done had revealed some disturbing aspects to his own personality.

Adam Sharpe, defending, said: 'His messages were abusive and obscene and there were threats, although he had no intention of carrying them out. He had failed to accept the break down of the relationship and became preoccupied by her to an unhealthy degree.'

Forklift truck driver Ball was jailed for two years after admitting harassment. The court heard it was the 100th offence on his record. Judge John Curran told Ball: 'This was a spiteful and calculated campaign which caused serious psychological harm in a particularly cruel way.

'She was terrified you may come and injure her and took refuge with her parents.

'This may not be absolutely the worst case of its kind but it is a bad one.'

original article found here

CAUTION: Abusive Partners Use Social Networking to Stalk

By Marissa Carruthers

(Sunderland, U.K.) Abusive partners are turning to technology to find sick new ways of stalking their victims, the Echo can reveal.

An increasing number of Sunderland women are seeking refuge after campaigns of terror, including being stalked using GPS tracking devices and apps on mobile phones, hacking into computers and online harassment.

Experts say advances in new technology have given abusers a tighter rein on their victims by handing them extra tools to trace their every move.

Clare Phillipson, of Wearside Women in Need, said: “Abusive men will always find new ways to either exercise control over their partners or abuse them. We currently have concerns with new technology that enables men to stalk their partners using mobile phones.

“They are able to activate the sat nav function without anyone even knowing, and this means they can see exactly where they are all the time. There have been cases of men sitting there and watching people walking round the streets then use Google maps to see exactly what house they’ve gone into and get a complete picture.”

The organisation has also seen a worrying rise in the number of women being beaten for posting innocent status updates on social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter and computer hacking to keep tabs on their partners.

In extreme cases, women’s movements inside their home have been monitored by CCTV cameras put up by possessive partners wanting to spy on their spouse.

“Websites like Facebook also give men a tool to constantly monitor their partners,” said Clare.

“We have seen a lot of times when women have left innocuous messages like you and I would say, like ‘had a nice night out with my friend last night’, and their partner has got violent. In some cases with more affluent men, CCTV cameras have been put up inside and around a house that can be accessed any time through mobile phones or computers.

“New technologies are making it much easier. Before, you couldn’t be in touch with your partner 24/7, but now we’re getting women beaten up because she’s at work and had to switch her phone off.”

There has also been several reported cases of wife-beaters turning to social networking sites to continue their harassment campaign after their partner has left them.

“I would say to people that if they are separating they should look very carefully at their Facebook privacy settings and their friends,” Clare added.

“There are many cases of abusive partners using them to build up a whole picture of their lives.”

original article found here

Facebook Getting Tough with Abusive Trolls

Vicious "trolls" who heap abuse on total strangers on the Internet for fun are being targeted in a Facebook crackdown. Tribute pages honoring the dead, such as soldiers in Afghanistan, have become a recent favorite of the ugly trolls, reports the Telegraph. Facebook users can manually delete abusive messages, but company engineers are now working on new systems that will automatically delete the hurtful slams. Facebook already tracks suspected trolls—those who repeatedly communicate with non-friends, or whose friend requests are often rejected.

Facebook is stepping up some site surveillance in the wake of mounting complaints about cyberbullying and pedophiles stalking users. Britain's Child Exploitation and Online Protection Center has recently initiated a Facebook site that offers advice and links to report cyber abuse. The official in charge of the center has criticized Facebook for refusing to add a "panic button" on each page to report problems.

original article here

Smear Campaign Lands Man in Court

Homebuyer 'launched smear campaign' against estate agents

after being gazumped

By James Tozer

(U.K., 2010) Martin Frostick is alleged to have sent out faxes falsely claiming the estate agent had gone bust

A gazumped homeowner took drastic revenge by launching a smear campaign to try to drive the estate agency he blamed out of business, a court heard today.

Martin Frostick, 53, was so aggrieved at losing the house that he circulated bogus bankruptcy petitions falsely claiming the Ryder & Dutton chain was going bust, it was alleged.

As a result, the agency was 'deluged' with inquires from clients worried about its financial state, the court heard.

It had to issue urgent public statements dismissing the notices as a 'malicious rumour' to save its reputation from being fatally damaged, it was claimed.

Frostick allegedly walked into a branch of the agency - based in Oldham, Greater Manchester - last June demanding information about a house sale back in 1997.

The complaint related to a house he had owned which had been repossessed, and he had later been gazumped in a sale, the court was told.

Staff said they didn't keep records that far back and Frostick left, slamming the door.

The following day he sent an email to Richard Powell, one of the directors, said Roderick Priestley, prosecuting at Minshull Street Crown Court, Manchester.

'It was some sort of grievance the defendant had with the firm over a repossession of a house which Mr Frostick owned in Oldham. He seemed to have been gazumped in a sale.'

Mr Powell then received 'abusive and threatening' faxes followed by a document purporting be a petition regarding the winding up of Ryder & Dutton, the court heard.

Mr Priestley said the notice was a fictitious one drawn up by Frostick. 'It was made by the defendant to damage the company,' he added.

The firm called the police after receiving a further email from Frostick containing 31 pages of names and numbers of companies to which he allegedly planned to send the fax.
Ryder & Dutton estate agents in Royton near Oldham

In addition, Frostick allegedly circulated a copy of an article from the London Gazette - which carries insolvency notices - altered to suggest Ryder & Dutton had gone bust.

He is also accused of sending a newspaper article about the collapse of Northern Rock which had been manipulated to carry the firm's name instead.

'The firm was deluged with enquires about the financial health of the company,' Mr Priestley said.

One leasing firm actually terminating a contract as a result of the rumours.

'What this man did caused significant inconvenience, stress and time,' Mr Priestley told the jury.

'So in order to protect their reputation they issued an urgent statement where they made it very clear that this was a dishonest and malicious rumour.

'What is clear is that Mr Frostick perceives that he has been wronged and 11 years later has decided to proceed with a complaint.

'But he, in effect, says because they wouldn't respond successfully to him, he then embarked upon this campaign.'

Frostick of Delph, near Oldham, was arrested two weeks later. Told about the cancelling of the lease agreement, he allegedly retorted: 'Good, I'm delighted.'

The trial heard Frostick admits coming up with the idea but denies fraud by making false representations.



ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE

Someone can only be DEFAMED if what you are saying about them is FALSE, NOT FULLY VERIFIABLE, ASSUMED FROM SCANT INFORMATION or UNTRUE.

If it IS TRUE - it is not: defamation, slander and/or libel. And you'd best be able to PROVE IN A COURT OF LAW that it is true. (Information that might possibly indicate something or you are assuming it indicates something is usually non-admissible.)

EOPC is held legally harmless - all claims of posted misinformation must be pursued THROUGH THE PERSON THAT SIGNED THE RELEASE TO US AND SUBMITTED IT IN THEIR COUNTRY OF ORIGIN.

U.K. Threatens to Post Intimate Photos of His Ex Online

A MAN from rural north Northumberland threatened to post intimate pictures of his teenage ex-girlfriend online after their relationship broke down.

The man, who cannot be named for legal reasons, appeared in court in Berwick last week charged with harassing his ex-girlfriend’s father and grandmother.

The court heard he also called her a ‘dog’ and alleged she was promiscuous in texts to the 17 year-old’s father and grandmother.

Magistrates heard that the 26-year-old, who pleaded guilty, had sent the texts and made phone calls to his ex-girlfriend’s family after their two-year relationship broke down and she started seeing another man.

James Long, prosecuting, said the girl’s family had never approved of the relationship and when it ended he said the defendant sent a text message to her father which said ‘your daughter is a dog’.

This was then repeated in other texts the defendant sent to her father over a period of a few days in January.

Mr Long said that the girl’s grandmother also received phone calls and text messages from the defendant, which he said were ‘abusive and threatening’.

He said the defendant then started to threaten the girl’s grandmother that if they contacted the police he would post pictures of his ex-girlfriend on the internet.

Mr Long said that the grandmother believed from the threats that these pictures were of a ‘sexual nature’.

In other messages to the girl’s grandmother, the defendant called the teen a ‘dirty little slag’ and alleged she slept around.

Mr Long added that on receiving the first text the grandmother had replied that she was going to contact the police, while the girl’s father had not responded to any of them.

Ian O’Rourke, defending, said that his client and the 17-year-old had since got back together and were planning to move away in an attempt to re-build their relationship.

He said: “The defendant and X are now back together and their take on this is that it is just her family ganging up on him. It’s probable that the truth is somewhere in the middle.
The context of this case is that X and the defendant had a relationship of in excess of two years. This started when she was 15 and at one stage she was pregnant and last year had a termination."

“It is fair to say that her family did not approve of the defendant – they did not get on at all.
“They split up as there was another man involved and then text messages and telephone calls started going between the defendant and X, essentially being childish and abusive to each other. The defendant then involved her father in this and it is fair to say on his behalf that there are not that many messages to her dad.”

Mr O’Rourke added: “He accepts by his plea that it was quite wrong of him to send the texts to X’s father and grandmother at all. They were not appropriate at all and were conducive to harassment.

“The threats about putting photos on Facebook was a two-way thing, as X had intimate photos of him and threatened to put them on Facebook. It does seem rather childish,” he said.

The case was adjourned for three weeks for reports.


original article here

Update: DARREN ROY MACK - Sentenced to Life in Prison

Mack Gets Life Term for Killing Wife

A former pawn shop owner was sentenced to life in prison on Friday for the killing of his estranged wife and shooting of the judge who handled their bitter divorce.

Darren Mack, 46, will be eligible for parole after 36 years. Mack pleaded guilty in November to first-degree murder in the June 2006 stabbing death of his wife, Charla, and entered an Alford plea to a charge of attempted murder of Washoe Family Court Judge Chuck Weller.

Mack admitted in court that he shot Weller through a courthouse window the day he killed his wife but invoked the Alford plea, in which a defendant acknowledges there is enough evidence for a conviction without admitting guilt. Weller has recovered from his wounds.

District Judge Douglas Herndon followed the recommendations of a plea deal by sentencing Mack to life in prison with the possibility of parole after 20 years on the murder charge.

The judge upheld the recommendation of Special Prosecutor Christopher Lalli by sentencing Mack to 40 years with parole possible after 16 years for attempted murder with a deadly weapon.

The terms are to run consecutively.

In handing down the sentence, Herndon cited the heinous nature of the crimes and Mack's lack of remorse.

"The truth is Mr. Mack is guilty of these crimes, but he doesn't want to hear anything about that," the judge said.

Mack on Thursday reiterated claims that he acted in self defense when he slashed his wife's throat in the garage of his southeast Reno townhouse.

He also has argued that he was coerced by his former lawyers into the plea deal, and suggested the attorneys, prosecutors, investigators and law enforcement officers who investigated the case were corrupt.

Herndon said while he allowed Mack to go on at length, he never said what the judge hoped he'd hear: "I'm sorry."

48 Hours Reviews the Darren Mack Case (click here)


EOPC on the original story in 2006:

ALERT! DARREN ROY MACK
Online Dater, Alleged Murderer and Sniper Shooter

Reno police are investigating Internet dating sites that murder fugitive Darren Roy Mack used to contact and communicate with women. (Mack was well know to live a "swinger" life style and visit swinger-resorts for vacations; without his wife)

"There is a potential that Mr. Mack could contact and meet with someone related to a past contact," said Lt. Ron Donnelly.

Anyone Mack may have contacted via an online dating site should contact police.

Mack, 45, was charged Tuesday in a warrant with the stabbing death of his estranged wife, Charla, 39. Police also accuse Mack of setting up on a downtown building and firing a sniper shot into the chambers of Family Court Judge Chuck Weller, hitting him in the chest.

For several years Mack has been an owner of Palace Jewelry and Loan pawn shop, which has an inventory that includes firearms.

Police say Mack has a federal firearms license, and a permit to carry a concealed weapon. Both will be suspended due to his fugitive status, but police believe he has access to any type of firearm.

Mack owns and has access to a Bushmaster .223 semi-automatic rifle, which police believe was used in the sniper shooting. This weapon has not been accounted for and may be in his possession.

Mack's Silver Colored Ford Explorer with California License Plates 5POR272 has still not been located, and is listed nationally on a law enforcement fugitive database.

~~~~
At a 9 a.m. press conference, Reno police announced the murder victim found at the Fleur de Lis gated community on Wilbur May Parkway has been identified as 39-year old Charla Mack, Darren Mack's estranged wife.

The 53-year-old Judge Weller continues to recover at Washoe Medical Center in Reno. Reno police say Weller is in good condition. Police said he was alert and had spoken with his family following the shooting.

Police say suspected killer Darren Mack is still at large. He is wanted for homicide after the discovery of his wife's body at the Fleur de Lis gated community, and is a suspect in the shooting of Judge Weller.

A Chaotic Scene

The events began Monday morning at 11:15, when police received reports of shots fired in the area of the newly-opened Mills B. Lane Justice Center on High Street. A News 4 crew was in the area and witnessed a chaotic scene as people ran from the building and frantically made calls on their cell phones.

"I hid behind a pillar and everything was starting to go crazy all over the place," an unidentified witness told News 4. "Cops were running all over the place."

"We were walking downtown near the building and we heard a gun," said Raya Pyles. "We all just ducked."

Craig Compton told News 4 he heard two gunshots followed by chaos inside the Justice Center.

"We were getting in an elevator, and people started scattering up there on the third floor," Compton said. "A deputy got in front of us and somebody said 'someone got shot. We heard a pop.'"

Washoe County Undersheriff Mike Haley said Reno Family Court Judge Chuck Weller was standing near a window on the third floor when he was shot in the torso. An aide, Annie Allison of Reno, was injured by flying glass.

"We're certain the shot came from outside," Haley said. "We can't speculate now where it came from. We have to establish the height of the window. It could have come from a variety of locations to the north."

One witness reported seeing an armed man in a nearby parking garage at the time of the shooting. Authorities are still investigating the structure.

Dozens of people were evacuated from the Justice Center as police charged into the building. Others were locked down for more than five hours. Streets surrounding the Justice Center did not reopen until late Monday night.

Police Investigate Related Murder
Just hours after the shooting, detectives responded to the Fleur de Lis community in south Reno on a report of a person found dead. The body was found in the garage of one of the townhomes.

The Press reports the home where the body was found is the residence of 39-year-old Charla Mack, the estranged wife of Darren Mack.

Following notification of family, police have confirmed the body was indeed that of Charla Mack.

Police say Darren and Charla Mack were to appear before Judge Weller September 8 as part of their pending divorce case.

Court documents obtained by News 4 show Darren Mack and his wife had been in and out of court several times since February 2005 as part of their divorce proceedings. At stake was custody of the couple's three children, and more than $10,000 a month in child and spousal support. Records also show Charla Mack's attorney had filed a motion to hold Darren Mack in contempt of court and asked that he be ordered to comply with child support requirements.

Darren Mack owns Palace Jewelry and Loan in Reno. Records show Mack had just declared bankruptcy. An employee at the business declined comment Monday.

Mack had a profile for his family on his eBay Web site, which was taken down late Monday. The Web page contained photos of Mack and his family, and information on his business. Before the site was removed, it contained this statement:

"My name is Darren Mack, and I am the third generation owner of a small business in Reno, Nevada. My family has owned and operated small businesses in Nevada for 45years. I am proud of the fact that I am able to carry on the legacy left to me by my parents and grandparents. I've been around jewelry and diamonds since my dad brought me down to the store when I was 7 years old. I have a personal commitment to excellence in any endeavor I take on. I am bringing to eBay a business ethic which is unshakeable. I deal fairly, with concern to the needs of my customers, and always with integrity. And, as you can see, I am married to a lovely young lady and have three beautiful children."

Search Delays Flights at Airport
The intensive manhunt for Darren Mack caused delays at the Reno-Tahoe International Airport Monday night. At 8:30, police received a report of a possible sighting of Mack at the airport. They shut down the parking garage and underwent a car-by-car search. Heavily-armed officers could be seen questioning drivers and passengers with guns ready. Airport spokesman Brian Kulpin said Federal agents and airport police also searched flights that had not yet taken off from the airport.

"Flights were held for some time this evening, just to make sure this suspect somehow didn't make it past security checkpoints," Kulpin said. "There are a lot of procedures put in place so that doesn't happen. But in a case with this profile, we wanted to make sure we're covering all the airport... So we did hold flights at gates. There were even some aircraft that came back to gates and were searched."

Kulpin said no arrests were made at the airport Monday night. He said all airport security personnel had been given fliers with Mack's photo and description, and were asked to keep an eye out for him.

Mike Simpson, a Southwest Airlines passenger, told News 4 police quickly escorted everyone off of his flight, which had just landed.

"People immediately got on their cell phones," Simpson said. "I was one of them. We all wanted to know - I called a friend of mine who works for a radio station to see if he knew anything, and pretty much everybody said it was all word of mouth - 'They got the sniper' and all that kind of an aspect."

Earlier, the search for Mack led Sheriff's deputies to surround a home on Chipmunk Avenue in Washoe Valley. Authorities had received a tip Mack may be inside the home. Deputies searched the house but did not find Mack.

Forty-five-year-old Darren Mack is white with brown hair and brown eyes. He is five feet, eleven inches tall and between 190 and 220 pounds. He may be driving a silver Ford SUV, possibly an Explorer.

Police say he is to be considered armed and dangerous.

http://www.amw.com

In Review: MORE ON COLD-HEARTED CYBERPATH: GARETH ROGER

Gareth Roger's victim sent us some chat transcripts and snippets about him which we are including here. If you meet this person online - run like heck. Our comments, as always, are in dark blue. - Fighter

Gareth's Website

Last Known Screen Name: QAZ3D

Location: United Kingdom


CHAT
Gareth: dunno whether its worth getting tickets to the big gay out

VICTIM: big gay out?

Gareth: http://www.biggayout.com
lots of gay people but baby shambles, bananarama, friankie goest o holly wood, human league,, electric six and loads more are playing (now why would he just DROP that into a chat with someone he 'loves' if not for the SHOCK VALUE? Sometimes cyberpaths drop hints about their true nature. Bisexual maybe?)

VICTIM: ahh do ya wanna go then? Just to see the bands play?

Gareth: dunno loads of half naked guys i wont be looking but you might (baiting her)

VICTIM: umm i wouldnt be looking at all!!!! besides they are gay!

Gareth: but youd end up staring at muscley half naked blokes

VICTIM:: Got my own sexy man thank you!

Gareth : Where?

VICTIM: hes talking to me on ichat right now duh... YOU! hehe

Gareth: exactly (dummy)

Gareth: theres alot of gay bands too i only want to see 4 or 5 of em.

VICTIM: wanna do that as "we" not "i"? lol you trying to tell me something babe?

Gareth: same thing (no it's not - his victim got it right. The use of "I" is telling and narcissistic)

VICTIM: Okies

Gareth: yes i mean we, but i meant "I hope I goto one of them oneday"

VICTIM: we can travel if you want, stay overnight id love to go see bands
yeah theres no reason you wont be able to go, just because I have the children.

Gareth: i know we'll see maybe next year (he's thinking about one person: GARETH!)




CHAT
VICTIM: You there?

Gareth: yea sorry window doesnt flash to tell me I have a new message. its a pain
eveythings ok, gunna finish off packing in a min nearly done (he was probably talking to someone else or watching porn)

VICTIM: sorry just didnt want you to think i was buggin ya, yeah this ichat is a pain in the ass, just checking you had a rest today cause its a hot day and stuff.

Gareth: so what are you upto? (changes the subject quickly!)

VICTIM: Not much just watching a vid, you?

Gareth: Packing still, you chatting to anyone else? (PROJECTION! and baiting!)

VICTIM: no , only you




CHAT
VICTIM: You dont seem like you wanna talk much today

Gareth: no... you always think i dont want to speak to you if im quiet, or if my phones off, Optimism, positivity (he means, believe my B.S. or else)

VICTIM: no not at all darling , i am being optimistic just sometimes you do sound a little offish i am being positive (he is being offish - he's a sociopathic predator)

VICTIM: i said last night i was feeling positive and i trust what you say im not worrying just merely wondering.

Gareth: Ok (putting her on the defensive!)




Gareth on the Victim chatting with her actual REAL LIFE friends:
Gareth: im looking for a new nickname

VICTIM: Why?

Gareth: get away from old ways (get away from all the people I have crapped on and abused)

VICTIM: yup

Gareth: stopped being found so easily (see above - looking to hide)

VICTIM: good idea

Gareth: best one i could think of is Andy

VICTIM: hehe its you and its your name

Gareth: heh type that in on google try find me

VICTIM: yup loads of results

Gareth: good idea but its taken alot

VICTIM: getting out of old ways is a good idea Andy

Gareth: yep it is .......goes for both of us

ME: yes it does

Gareth: i agree, so far i havent slipped back to all the chat groups im not going back to my old ways at all (sure you aren't - you're just looking for a new cover - they all do)

VICTIM: me either

Gareth: i know but you keep gong back to the old chat groups and people, you should dump it forget about it and leave it

VICTIM: im not going back to it Andy (yeah you would probably meet someone like HIM again - predators LIVE online)

Gareth: i know your not, but you do (putting her on the defensive AND trying to continue ISOLATING her from her friends! Typical abuser ploy)

VICTIM: i havent got any of those chat things on this computer

Gareth: i know but ypou see what i mean, move on from it for good not put it on hold

VICTIM: havent put it on hold its in the bin and thats where i want it to stay

Gareth: ok good

VICTIM: i am looking forward to you coming home and for us to have that perfectness here that was present last time you were here im focusing on that its a goal i want to reach

Gareth: :)

VICTIM: but I will keep on saying sorry until im actually forgiven (she's not the one who should be asking forgiveness but abusers LOVE to put their victims in this position!)

Gareth: you are forgiven .. i was just saying you keep going back there thats something that needs to change (no because you 2 haven't talked it out and you haven't been candid with her. You just don't "GET OVER" some things - unless you're pathological and no one means anything to you.)




Like all pathological personalities, Gareth believes he knows more than anyone.

gareth: im checking credit cards as the phone i want and the deal is a special offer and im hoping it wont end

VICTIM: itd be good if you could get it before it ends

Gareth: xxxxxxxxxxxx

Gareth: heh the funny thing was i knew more than the salesman i wass like wheres the menu then, he said there wasnt one, so i stuck my hand out and he handed it to me, went through everything found it was bottom left button heh handed it back

Gareth: hehe i sold the fone to myself (glory-hunting, aggrandizement - blatant narcissism)

Gareth: heh he also said i can walk around house while on call with bluetooth headset, the phone can be downstairs and i can be upstairs, i said not a chance bluetooth cant and isnt made to go through even a walll

VICTIM: hehe so he was trying to sell on basis of lying to someone he thought didnt know about that technology (probably just trying to do his job)

Gareth: yup

Gareth: i know theres no need to ask, but when i get this card i really dont want anything debited from it other than the phone (puts her on the defensive AGAIN)

VICTIM: your right but theres no need to ask as i dont need to use your card

Gareth: im not saying you ....no point spending on it apart from phone im saying us
in general (no you weren't - you were blame-shifting to her!)

VICTIM: so about that fone call? any chance i can have one later, sorry to push you but i like talking to you even if it is just for 5 mins

Gareth: we can have a nice long call after yes




VICTIM: i was going to ask something then thought not

Gareth: no go on

VICTIM: Hmm I don't want to be insensitive as your not feeling too good right now and I should find out on my own, I was going to ask what animation program they made XXXXX in?

Gareth: not sure

VICTIM: Everything ok?

Gareth: sorry I drifted off (because you're not important, so many other lives to screw up, people to prey on)

VICTIM: have I annoyed you? if so , sorry I shouldn't of said anything

Gareth: You haven't annoyed me, Im just thinking about tomorrow, our living together, dreading thinking whatever. (dreading having to commit to you for most than just sex)

More Gareth Putting His Victim on the Defensive & Projecting.
(He acts jealous to keep her on a string - hoping it makes him appear "caring & interested")

Gareth: you on any chat networks?, Im going to have a quick wash, go get a sandwich and drink and open more windows.

VICTIM: No im watching XXXX again im not on any chat networks dont want anything to do with them (how many times does she have to tell him that?)

Gareth: :)

Gareth: well done (yes, you have now isolated her from anyone who might show her you're a predator, a cold snake and a user)




30 mins later
VICTIM: thankyou so much for the phone call it was nice to hear your voice, If you need any support and help, i know its hard but I will help you anyway i can when you come through the door, ill make sure you get loads of hugs, and anything else you need.

Gareth: heya

Gareth: back

Gareth: I need to reboot, theres an update for a program on my computer I need to install.

NO mention whatsoever of what she said. Gareth totally ignored it. (a version of the 'silent treatment') So she made a video for him to see if she could maybe fix the situation as he'd made her feel she did something wrong (predators always make you think YOU did something wrong) -- this was maybe the 100th time she did this and he would normally treat me better after I had gone out of my way to make him happy. (if he "loved" her why would she have to jump through hoops to make him happy? Readers - ALL of our predators did this to their prey. ALL of them)

VICTIM: I have a video for you I made

VICTIM: thankyou

Gareth: grrr sexy thing (he's ASSUMING its a sex video - as that's all he really wants from her!)

VICTIM: your welcome

VICTIM: I have thought about something and want you to have something

Gareth: let me guess.... more asking me what train im going to get and what time. already told you I dont know yet. (why? If you love her you'd have made those plans by now...)

VICTIM: no

Gareth: sorry carry on

VICTIM: Its in the mail

Gareth: checking now

Gareth: aww thanks

Gareth: means a lot

VICTIM: when I said "patiently" i really meant that , train times are not an issue to me. you are! I hope that helps you in some way

Gareth: it does

Gareth: okies im lying down feel really tired and worn out you there? (heh - there she goes - calling him on his cold-heartedness and wanting some assurance and affection from him. Notice the HUGE emotional disconnect on Gareth's part. Sociopathic)

She heard nothing from him until the next afternoon, not sure when he was coming home, what train he was getting -- nothing. Everytime she asked him what time his train was he got angry at me. He probably did this on purpose knowing she'd get frustrated the more he held back. (Or he simply didn't care. at all. It's called WITHHOLDING and its yet another abuse tactic)



VICTIM: have i blown things with you

Gareth: i dunno

VICTIM: ok i understand

Gareth: things dont always sort themselves out (...with a sociopath)

VICTIM: no they dont, but im trying to sort things out my end, to stop giving you a hard time but the thought is ....are you still going to fight for us ? as iam hon (no he's not - his ACTIONS not his words will say everything)

Gareth: yep (words... only words)

VICTIM: ok :)

Gareth: brb my sisters looking at my film list (no surprise - he runs away from TRUE EMOTIONS AGAIN!!)



ARGUMENT
I was getting tired and confused over why he said one thing yet did the opposite. (because he's a sociopath) One minute he would be be consistent, the next minute he had changed his mind. (sociopath) So I tried to break it off and end the relationship; he had kept me waiting for over 6 weeks due to promise after promise being broken. He'd dumped me so many times already as it was, I didn't see anything wrong in asking him to stick to at least 1 promise. (no but with a sociopath/ narcissist they have HUGE problems with accountability AND reality. They never stick to anything unless there's something in it FOR THEM)

Gareth: You just broke up with me, and i know you are back to your old self (Again putting HER on the defensive when he should be held ACCOUNTABLE)

VICTIM:: No im not

Gareth: the one i couldnt love, i loved the real you, youve changed back (it's HER fault? These guys can only 'love' one thing - THEMSELVES!! They are INCAPABLE of love)

Gareth: should i tell my dad to give it two weeks before bringing all my stuff down, i dont think you are the same XXXX, how do i know you wont leave me when i get there, should we give it a two week tester? (he probably didn't want to come down anyway - now, typical predator - he's making it all her fault. PROJECTION)

VICTIM: how do I know that you won't leave me, you have done it so many times (he will)

Gareth: if you were your old self, the loving one, it'd be fine (the one who swallowed all my BS, believed all my lies & didn't hold me accountable that is)

VICTIM: i am the same, i just cant keep going on the same way, i cant keep hoping, and praying and dreaming things are going to be the same way when i know they aren't , you get my hopes up then they you dash them. (sound familiar, readers? She hasn't realized yet he's a predator. A snark. A shark. He kills and leaves. No empathy, no remorse)

Gareth: your not the same to me (because she's starting to question your BS?)

VICTIM: im the same as i was before (just smarter & more aware something's wrong)

Gareth: I dearly hope you are, I trust you and will take your word for it. (no he won't - because he doesn't care)

Gareth: ive emailed you some questions, could you answer them for me by tonight or tommorow morning

VICTIM: ill go look now

Gareth: i think id like you to answer them now, and then again in the morning

Gareth: tell me when you are next to the laptop and in bed

Gareth: darling?

Gareth: tell me when youre here darl, in fact if you get into bed and turn on skype ill whack off for you, and show you anything my a** to my **** to licking my own ***, if you get into bed, and turn skype on. (all about SEX!! she's asking for some REAL answers about their relationships and his way of "CONFIRMING" his feelings is cybersex? Predator. ICK)

VICTIM: Im here, im sorry i was so selfish

Gareth: no your not

VICTIM: yes I am

Gareth: if you loved me and saw a future youd wait till wednesday and help me through it (oh god he's NAUSEATING!)

VICTIM: im so sorry, im such a selfish person, i know it, i cant apologise enough,

Gareth: two days, couldnt wait two days that says something (putting her on the defensive after all HE had put her through by then!!)

VICTIM: its been 6 weeks!

Gareth: now ive seen you like this, so nasty again (unreal aren't they? When you see it from a distance. How dare he continue his projection.)

VICTIM: Im not nasty , I did wait

Gareth: yes you are. (Gareth just 'shut up' -- how much more cruel can you be?)

VICTIM: fine ill wait

Gareth: well you made it *applause* you left the guy that wants to spend his life with you regardless of everything else (oh spare us Gareth. As if that was the truth)

VICTIM: my dad said to me tonight "if you dont make a decision, youll be left always wondering"

Gareth: heh yes now you will always be wondering.. whether i would of came back and if we would of stayed together for life...now you will wonder as you left me before i could get to yo

Gareth: im not giving in to selfish demands such as: leave tommorow (he wants her to give in to only HIS selfish demands)

VICTIM: i know that now

Gareth: well i know what would of happened and im trying to comprehend my future without you and i hate it

VICTIM: ive been selfish! but i cant keep on doing this (you aren't selfish - you're getting smart to this emotional rapist)

Gareth: but you made the choice, and you are back to your old nasty selfish attitude

VICTIM: no im not

VICTIM: Im sitting here waiting for you as always

Gareth: no you broke up with me (boo hoo... Martyr Man)

VICTIM: can you blame me? im always waiting, i cant do it anymore. im so confused I dont know what to do anymore (typical feelings with a predator - and he will find a way to blame her.)

Gareth: no you left me nothing to be confused about anymore you can go back to chatting to people in chat rooms and while away the hours (AGAIN he brings this up!)

VICTIM: Im not chatting to anyone

Gareth: yet, wait two days or bugger off back to the internet, it shows whats more important and your attitude (Projection - he's probably already chatting up other people and has been right along)

VICTIM: im not chatting to guys!!!

Gareth: yet (sadist)

VICTIM: im waiting for you

Gareth: No your not you left me (how old is this guy? 7 years old?)

VICTIM: gods sake

Gareth: not all things are reversible

VICTIM: I left you because I cant take it anymore, the mixed signals. the getting angry at me for no reason, the not speaking to me and broken promises. (victims always think they can talk sense to these guys - before they realize they're PATHOLOGICAL & SICK!)

Gareth: Exactly so theres no more waiting (NO ACCOUNTABILITY FOR WHAT SHE JUST SAID!)

VICTIM: for goodness sakes

Gareth: you wont listen, your back to your old self (heh - listen to WHAT? his selfish b.s.?)

VICTIM: no, im not, you just think i am, im upset

Gareth: no I know you XXXXX you used to be much more mature and nice wanting to talk at night on skype (and believing my lies)

VICTIM: i am mature (more than him, that's for sure)

Gareth: chuck it all away for the sake of another 2 days wait

Gareth: very mature

VICTIM: im sick of going around in circles, im sure others can tell you im not back to my old ways

gareth: they may, but at least before you were different towards me, you understood

VICTIM: I dont want to argue you made your choice i made mine

Gareth: my choice was to spend my life with you, your choice was not to give me the chance to do that, before youd of said 2 days no problems, cant wait to cuddle and sleep with you and walk with you and bath with you , now you leave.

(She ended up apologising and asking him for another chance, and then he told her:)

Gareth: we will have to sort all this out when I get back, we are not over but a lot has to be sorted now

(Don't you want to just SMACK Gareth? His mind games are so cruel & pathetic)




COMING TO THE END OF THE RELATIONSHIP
I spent the next year in stress Gareth would spend all his time in our bedroom and when his parents or boss would call him, he would send me out of the room and talk in secret, all his emails to his family would be secret and I was never allowed to see what the conversations were about. My children were not allowed to make any noise when he was on the phone or he would ignore me for the rest of the day and just be aloof on purpose.

I started to get rashes all over my body, I couldnt understand what it was, but I was covered head to foot in it, it was sore and itched constantly for 4 months, I went to the Doctor and he said it was Hives / allergy from stress I put all this "stress" down to losing the baby. (it was GARETH - toxic GARETH)

His "Silent Treatment" would go on for hours on end,and when I would get frustrated after the 4th hour of this, or angry he would tell me I was the crazy one for yelling at him and trying to get a rise out of him.

He never ate dinner with me and the children; instead sat in the bedroom and ate his dinner when I brought the plate up to him, after dinner he would continue working or playing "rainbow Six" or "Postal" or "Working" (hmm... wasn't he accusing HER of being ONLINE all the time? He was online because it was a 2-dimensional world and "real" people are just objects to these cyberpaths. Besides - these predators feel: why invest any more in something you can't control)

Whenever we went out it was always when the children were at my mothers, he usually slept cuddling me, but started to sleep turning to the wall and didnt want me to cuddle up to him. He said "Its because i always sleep like this" which wasnt true so that was the first sign he was starting to lose interest in me. (no it was the one behavior you finally saw - Sorry but he was NEVER interested in you; just in what he could "get" out of you - sex, affection, a place to live, food, etc)

Sex wasnt a problem whenever he wanted it -- he was loving but as soon as it was over he would get back on his computer and ignore me. (because that's all he wanted)

If I said anything whatever it was didn't matter, he would tell me "That's not what you said" I spent weeks and months thinking I was losing my memory or going nuts. (Gaslighting)

I remember sitting on the bed crying once, in deep pain over the loss of our baby and he stood over me staring blankly, all i wanted him to do was cuddle me and tell me everything was going to be ok, but instead he said "Im going out as this upsets me and i cannot stand the crying and loud noise, ill come back when you have calmed down" (narcissist)

When his boss used to come over to meet with him for a meeting he would shoo me and the children out the house and tell me to make sure the house was pristine before his boss arrived, then we had to get out the house and not come back until he phoned me. (WHAT? What a sick piece of dung he is)

Gareth always criticised me over laundry, smoking (he would hide my lighters in the freezer for some reason and blow them up outside by making a fire and making me watch) To him, his home town was amazing and living with me couldn't compare to it. I grew to feel so ashamed of my house (which is rather lovely) all because he would moan about the location and didn't like any of his work collegues or family to set foot in it. (Blame shifting, degrading)

I was so emotionally numb because during all this time he had left a few times and come back again and I needed reassurance so I asked sometimes "are you going to leave me" this was usually when he was silent or in a mood about something. I was so insecure at this point. I felt nothing was going to be consistent, no one was going to stay with me. I had lost two children already I needed some reassurance and stability. (Gareth knew that, knew she was vulnerable and worked her like a puppet)

He would go silent on me whenever i asked him things that had to do with us as a couple or our relationship. He wouldnt talk and kept his eyes on the computer, I got so frustrated because he would never telll me how he felt and would always "Sigh" or exhale loudly (abuser tactic - to belittle her & her needs)

Whenever we had guests such as my parents or friends over, he would stay in his room and not come down, he wouldnt even greet anyone. My family said it was really rude, but I tried to explain to them that it was because Gareth was shy and didn't like social gatherings. (No he was RUDE and a SOCIOPATH)

Gareth told me about the Milgram Experiment once, was totally besotted with it. I found out by looking through his files on the computer that he had hundreds of books on psychology , & the art of seduction and hypnosis, I would always ask him if he used it on me he told me he would never manipulate me that way, he used it on other people. (BINGO!)

He never got angry (no he was angry ALL the time it appears). Never hit me or showed rage (just verbal & emotional abuse) He was just silent, where he wouldnt speak at all and this really angered me after a while as he just wouldnt speak. Like talking to a brick wall. He knew I used to get so very frustrated by this, sometimes id see a smirk running across his face when he knew I was pushed into a corner. (that's SEVERE abuse - the silent treatment, withhold - its BLATANT ABUSE)

One thing I always noticed was Gareth never made eye contact with me. When your asking someone a question or talking in general you will get eye contact or they will look at your face. Its a natural thing for humans to do, but with Gareth he never made eye contact with me , not ever (TYPICAL SOCIOPATH TRAIT!! BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE OBJECTS TO THEM) I used to think "Oh thats just the way he is" but now I realise it is very disturbing and unnatural. (AND PATHOLOGICAL) He would always pick a spot and stare at it when I was talking to him. (tuning you out)

Sometimes I would wake up around 3am and on opening my eyes, would see his face over mine, staring down at me. I have no idea how long he spent doing that, but I found it uncomfortable. (Sociopaths do that a lot)

We got a dog after a few months and whenever he got home from work he would bypass me and go right to the dog and kiss and cuddle it. I would always have dinner ready on time and the house clean but he'd take his dinner and the dog to the bedroom and stay there petting it and kissing it and ignoring me all evening. If I would venture upstairs to spend time with him he would sit there and baby talk the dog. if I wanted some affection it would have to be on his terms or when he was playing a video game / doing work and wanted to show me something. (ABUSE - he was taunting you with a DOG!)

When I needed money to get the children some clothes I asked him for the money but he said he needed $500 for his parachute jumping. (BAD PRIORITIES!) If it wasn't for my mother the children would of gone without clothes.
READERS - thank GOODNESS she's no longer with this "person" (if you could even call him HUMAN!) -- EOPC