Do They Fit the Checklist on Predators?

The other type of emotionally unavailable man is unavailable due to his relationship (or relationships) with another woman (or women). These guys are never really committed to a woman. They don’t see any relationship as necessarily permanent, including marriage - even if they give lip service to being “deeply committed” to the woman they are with at the moment.

In truth, however, they don’t truly value their intimate relationships or take them seriously, because they are merely “playing,” even though engagement or marriage hardly seems like something to “play” at. They don’t take their relationships seriously because on some level - even if subconsciously - they know they can find someone else who will get involved with them if their current affair ends. What else would cause someone to repeatedly play his future like a crap-shoot without really fearing the outcome?

…It is probably because women keep attempting to get close to him that causes him to keep moving from partner to partner or to keep adding partners. He is uninterested in experiencing or is unable to experience deep feelings of connection with anyone. CHECK!

…What is dangerous about emotionally unavailable men is that they are not authentically emotionally responsive. They are emotionally avoidant.

…Some of these men may have a sexual addiction that fuels their pursuit of rapidly revolving, superficial relationships. Perhaps his sexual addiction takes the form of chronic and compulsive pornography use, a pattern that will diminish a man’s normal human responsiveness.

… be aware that [this type of man] will come across to you as a devoted father and husband or as an upstanding citizen of his community. Never discount the possibility that your emotionally unavailable man may have multiple hidden lives (always the case if he’s engaging in clandestine extramarital affairs) as well as being an emotional predator. For example: emotional unavailability, plus life he keeps hidden from you, his wife or his girlfriend, plus the keen sixth sense of an emotional predator, plus a sexual addiction - help these pathological men thrive at attracting serial superficial relationships.

If he is a sexual addict as well he will have a hidden life of endless porn watching, masturbation, voyeurism, and even using prostitutes. Many times these men will cover their perversions with heavy involvement in community politics, their church or synagogue or doing volunteer work. And they will make sure this cover is very visible so no one suspects.

Sexually addicted predators will not stop at you, they will go after your friends as well. They think nothing of telling your friend that you mean nothing to them and that you are possibly “imagining” the relationship. They will tell their wives the same things about you or any other woman they know insisting “she’s jealous of us and is obsessed with me.” They are masterful jugglers of time and people.

…a woman’s availability itself is a deciding factor… “any port in a storm” will provide adequate distraction from the reality of his life.

Womanizers also look for women who will believe their stories about their home life. Very few of them tell women how happy they are at home, how wonderful their wife is, and how they just really want to have extramarital sex with no strings attached. No, that usually isn’t the story line. The story line goes: “No one has ever really loved me, and certainly not my wife. She nags… doesn’t appreciate me… hates sex…”

Women take this hook too often. …they will be able to make him “finally feel loved… listened to… appreciated.” His need is not “once and for all to be loved” as much as it is to get laid, be amused and be distracted.

A womanizer may be highly verbal about his relationships. He may share personal information in such a way that women mistake his sharing for emotional intimacy… He knows well enough that women are empathic to tales of empty and sad relationships…

An interesting point is that almost every woman who told us her story about getting involved with an emotionally unavailable man said it happened at a time when her self-esteem was low. [She] was coming out of a relationship situation that had damaged her self-esteem (such as being abused or even going through a divorce). Women accept far more during times of low self-esteem than they do when their self-esteem is sound. A belief that she doesn’t deserve a whole, satisfying and healthy relationship is a reflection of how low her self-esteem is. If a man gives a woman who suffers with low-self esteem a little attention… then too often she willingly falls [for him].

The emotional predator is as bad as it gets. He qualifies as the pinnacle of poisonous and pathological… He could, in fact, be called the “emotional psychic.” That’s because it’s his ability to intuit and sense a woman’s emotional vulnerabilities that places her at risk. Webster’s defines predatory as “having a disposition to injure or exploit others for one’s own gain"; it defines predator as “one that preys, destroys or devours.” That’s a good summation of this man. Who but the most pathological among us would set out to exploit, prey on, destroy or devour?

He will hone in on your vulnerabilities and read you. If he likes what he reads, he will follow up by luring you into his scary and dangerous life.

Predators have a natural ability for reading women who are lonely, needy by nature, emotionally wounded or vulnerable. The predator also has his antennae up for women who… have unfulfilled needs in their lives. …he figures out how he can squeeze into the vacant space in your life and what you need to hear in order to allow this to happen.

…[they] “sense” which woman will make the best target for them. They don’t know why they have this gift or how they acquired it. …they have been working women over since childhood. A predator’s intuitive sixth sense is untaught. …an adult’s skills can’t compete with his abilities to scam, con and conquer.

…emotional predators also fall into the mentally-ill category, usually under the diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder. Most also have hidden lives. When you couple a predator’s natural instincts with a lifetime of skills honed by successfully conning, exploiting and injuring women, you have a man who is nothing short of extraordinarily smooth and capable of horrific dangerousness.

Predators’ motives vary. But you can be sure a predator wants something from you. That is the entire reason for the relationship. …There is something in you that he wants. Maybe “all” he wants is your utter adoration or for you to exalt his ego. …Maybe wants what you can provide to help establish his image so he will marry you (’good family man’). Or maybe …he’s most interested in the pursuit and conquest of a woman… If he is a sexual predator, you are a target, whether it be for consensual sex or rape - depending on whichever way it plays out or whatever mood he is in.

A predator does not “need” the relationship. Early on… the predator is deliberately romantic. Predators are shifting chameleons who can be all things to all women. Predators are smooth as silk. …predators are listeners who will give up very little information until they are sure it will align with your history. …His selection is based on his need and your vulnerability. He knows it’s a matter of matching need with need. The more he knows about your needs, the better he can meet them.

He has a nose for vulnerability, so women who have unmet needs “smell” especially good to him. He seeks women who need men who can “sense and know” them on almost a spiritual level. Since he is good at this, he will appear to know you well - and quickly.

They like women who had absent fathers, angry mothers or neglectful and abusive husbands. Knowing that many women are trained to believe that people are basically good at heart, predators will present themselves as men of honor and virtue…. But because he is a chameleon, he will listen closely to see if you also need a mentor, an adviser on some topic, a spiritual leader, or a male friend.

During counseling sessions I’ve had with men who are emotional predators, some have verbalized their targets. One said,

“I look for naive women. I like a certain vulnerability to her - that she trusts humanity without asking for proof. Maybe she’s been hurt a lot so there’s a “woundedness” to her. That vulnerability makes them believe you, because they need to believe you.”

Another said,

“I like the women who have been pounded down by men and those with childhoods that weren’t so good. They are particularly easy.”

It is important to understand that each predator has developed his own unique style. He has a “type” or two of women he prefers because with those types he has mastered the approach, the dating, and the ‘end.’ He doesn’t have to think very hard if he just uses the profile he’s had success with. One predator may prefer recently divorced or divorcing women because he succeeds at playing that angle with them.

… these guys can show a woman they definitely “get it.” They show you all the attention that the jerks you’ve been with haven’t. They say all the right lines that the men in your past could never verbalize. They are brilliant and insightful about what you need. They seem to know exactly every pain you have suffered.

With more skill than a carnival psychic, the emotional predator can hone in on your every need, sympathize with you in such a way so that you believe you’ve met your long lost soulmate and sweep you off your feet… He’s… more insightful than a therapist. He “knows” you the way no one else ever has.

This guy moves FAST. He’s got to - before you figure out what his M.O. is. Every woman should be suspect of the relationships that seem to be traveling in the fast lane on the super-highway of emotional intimacy. A predator needs to keep you so euphoric with compliments and lover’s talk that you aren’t listening, or paying attention. He is dripping with sincerity and clinging to every word you say. A predator wants to consummate the relationship with you right away, because time is against him.

To move the relationship along and be indispensable to you, he must act helpful, comforting and generous. Since he is working against the clock, he must find out what you need and then meet that need.

While listening to you and observing you, he will glean a lot of information about your hobbies, interests, spiritual beliefs and value systems. He is the original identity thief. He uncovers and uses for his own purposes everything he can about what makes you - YOU. He will find you amazing, beautiful, bright and talented - like no one he has EVER met before. He will align how he portrays himself with your needs and also your interests until you feel like you are looking at your twin.

Finally, another way predators succeed with women is by preying on their compassion. Once a woman is in the grip of a predator, anything can happen.

[Once a woman sees their stories] for the crock they are and bust them for their fake opinions with them, they will try and turn the table and make it seem it was the woman who had emotional problems!

(the original was written in the male gender; your predator may be female)

When It's Someone You Trust...

You never know who might try to hurt you on the internet

BY CATHERINE WALKER

OVER the past few weeks we have learned that 80 per cent of victims of cyber-stalking are women, and many have been the victims of ex-lovers, but although it seems relationships have a lot to do with online stalking it is not always men who are the stalkers. This week, we talk to a woman who was stabbed in the back by the person who she least expected.

Jane Burns (name has been changed to protect identity) was a normal young woman. In 2005, most of her friends at university were studying abroad, which brought her and another classmate a lot closer together than before. They spent hours together and told each other everything. Jane’s new best friend spent a lot of time on the internet, trying to meet men in forums. Jane worried her friend because she would often go to meet them after just a few weeks, thinking she had found her ideal man, and then resulting in disappointment, but little did Jane know it was herself she should worry about. Jane was in a long-distance relationship with a man abroad, but thanks to the internet they kept in touch every day.

One day, after she returned from a holiday at her boyfriend’s home, she went online and found an e-mail, apparently from him, which was directed to another woman, telling her he loved and missed her. Jane, with tears in her eyes, contacted her boyfriend to ask for an explanation. He, of course, knew nothing, but she felt deceived and hurt and told him she wanted to split up. Luckily, he insisted she checked whether the e-mail had really come from his address – it hadn’t. The address that had been used was the same, apart from a dash, which in the heat of the moment, she hadn’t noticed. On closer examination, the language was a little different, although the nickname used for her was right.

The only person who had this information was Jane’s friend, who also happened to have asked to read some of their e-mails just two weeks earlier. Why did she do this? Jane says she can’t imagine. But when she told her friend about the ordeal, without accusing her, she immediately went offline and the two have not spoken since.

You never know who is trying to hurt you on the internet, so be careful.

original article found here

Trust turning to betrayal.

In Review: One of our Victims SPEAKS OUT!

`Bigamist' is out on the prowl again (2012)

(from 2005) by APRIL BETHEA (www.charlotteobserver.com)

A Mecklenburg County judge on Thursday refused to lower the $25,000 bond for a Virginia man indicted on a felony bigamy charge and arrested in Charlotte after his case was featured on the "Dr. Phil" program.

That means Charles Edward Hicks, 61, who has waived extradition, likely will remain in a Mecklenburg County jail while Virginia authorities prepare a governor's warrant that would send him back to that state, said Elizabeth Trosch, an assistant public defender who represented Hicks in court on Thursday.

"We're done with him in North Carolina," Trosch said.

Hicks was indicted earlier this month in a Chesapeake, Va. courtroom on a felony charge of bigamy. He was arrested in Charlotte on Dec. 12 after a Shelby woman who had seen Hicks featured on the "Dr. Phil" show that morning recognized him as the boyfriend of her sister and called police.

Hicks reportedly has been married seven times and divorced five.


I am the victim of a real live con man, bigamist, and in my opinion as well as many others, that my ex bigamist husband Ed Hicks is a textbook psychopath (sociopath/antisocial). Guess what? I met Ed Hicks on the Internet. It is my belief that the Internet has given these emotional vampires a whole new supply. Online dating sites allow these predators to be anyone they want to be and they present themselves as charming and charismatic, but they are MASTER manipulators that exhibit psychopathic and narcissistic traits.

Like so many Internet Predators - Ed Hicks....

• lied to me about every facet of his life;
• chopped away at my self esteem;
• disrespected my boundaries;
• took away my ability to trust another man;
• forced me to refinance my home to make up for the money he took from me;
• manipulated me;
• controlled me;
• used, betrayed, deceived, and emotionally abused me.

Unless people who use these dating sites start doing full background checks on the people they meet there and start a relationship with, they may find themselves in a situation similar to mine... or worse. I was not too smart because I did not do a background check; however, since I knew he was a U.S. Federal Government employee with a Department of Defense "Secret" security clearance, I thought that signaled verifiable integrity. I was wrong.

I cannot fault the Internet for my nightmare, nor can I really fault the online personals sites, albeit - I believe these personal sites that you pay money to join have the responsibility to make the members of their online dating communities aware of these types of predators and con artists. I believe they have the responsibility to put this information in a prominent place on their sites, not buried somewhere within the recesses of their pages so their members rarely find it. I believe they should link to databases and websites that contain honest information about these predators.

I urge each of you to BEWARE. You are taking a BIG risk in putting an ad online; you are taking a big risk in meeting someone on the Internet. You must protect yourself and learn the signs, the red flags of the online predator. Read all you can about cyberpaths, internet predators, online predators... all terms mean the same and they attack ADULTS as well as children! Read all you can about psychopaths (sociopaths). Your own best defense is educating yourself.

I am so very lucky; I am not financially ruined -- I am scarred, yet I feel so blessed. It could have been worse for me; it really could have. Some of Ed Hicks' wives are still emotionally ruined whether through depression, PTSD or addiction; some are financially ruined and will be for a long time. One thing we all have in common after the tornado of havoc this MAN creates, we are all victims of emotional & psychological abuse from this vampire; some are also victims of his physical abuse.

I must add in defense of meeting people on the Internet, had it not been for the support of the caring survivors of other psychopaths that I met through the MSN Psychopaths forum (no longer in use),  Donna at Lovefraud.com, and the group behind Exposing Online Predators and Cyberpaths, I would not be where I am today.

Yes, I met all of these wonderful, kind, compassionate people on the Internet! They have given me the courage, the strength, and the fortitude to become "a force to be reckoned with". Tennessee Williams character Blanche DuBois, said it beautifully in "A Streetcar Named Desire", "I have depended on the kindness of strangers". Yes, I met these "strangers" on the Internet; strangers who proved themselves and have become lifelong friends.

Put it in perspective, educate yourself, and beware of online predators, con men & women and other pathologicals who are lurking out there in cyberspace.

(Thank you for your courage & perspective!! Sandra now runs the site FIGHT BIGAMY to provide outreach and support to victims of bigamists. - EOPC)

Reasons to Expose Them

It's not your job to keep their secrets

You're only as sick as your secrets

Secrets are dangerous

Have some sympathy for his next target. By telling, at least the new person goes in with their eyes open

Exposing them stimulates the same reward centers of the brain that desserts, desire, and drugs do. It is better than using drugs, drinking or gaining 40 lbs.

Like smoking, the more people you tell, the harder it will be for you to go back to the way it was.

Vindication. People who 'get it' will now realize you have good reason to act the way you do. You might also get some help for any post-emotional rape or PTSD issues you are having.

Role model. Other women (or men) may stop hiding in shame when they know what you went through.

Your cyberpath will have a harder time going after you if everyone knows. (Although there may be narcissistic rage & smear - just stick to your truth and stand firm.)

 Do not do it for revenge or to 'get even' or to hurt someone.  That always backfires.

 Always tell the truth.  Do not make up, fudge or twist facts just to be harmful.

Here are some ways to stop keeping their secrets:

Join a Domestic Violence Group (most are free and are for verbal and emotional abuse too. You can see how their behavior often escalates and how if you don't stop it now, things will escalate) or Online Support group like ours

Participate in their public demonstrations, especially if its in the same town where you live. (If asked to speak, talk about Cyberpaths and what happened to you. You might be shocked how many are living in silent agony with similar shame & PTSD)

Tell the people who ask the truth without sugar coating or "protecting him." (Don't run around volunteering info on why. When anyone asks, tell them as many facts as interests them without rambling or preaching. If they don't believe you -- just smile, say "you will find out eventually" and walk away.)

Write press releases for your DV group or other publications and use your cyberpath as a concrete example. (Being published like this helps other women know they are not alone.)

Tell your counselor. If your counselor keeps trying to say you are "half the problem because of your behavior", get a counselor who understands online/emotional abuse, psychopathy and mind control. Don't try to educate a counselor who tells you to just "move on" or "get over it." Find one who gets it.

Tell your mother, father, and friends everything (where appropriate)!
(example: Telling actually saved the life of Marcia Ridgeway, the Green River Killer's 2nd wife.

He had tried to choke her from behind once. She told everyone, including her father who talked to Gary about it.

Years later, after his arrest, he told police that he had wanted to kill Marcia, his wife, but was afraid he would get caught because she told everyone that he attempted it once.)







Remember that the next you think you are "protecting" your cyberpath or his family by not telling the abuse you suffered at their hands.

Keep a detailed journal. This will help remind you when you forget how bad it is and can help you see your patterns. You can also later use it when you want to write a book or if you need evidence in court. Dated journals are court admissible.

Also, don't delete all the chats or emails - save them to a disk if you need them later. That way you don't have to read & obsess over their toxic words; but you do have them as evidence.

A journal can keep you from believing his words "you're crazy", "it never happened", "I never said/ did that", "it was just a game", "you blew it out of proportion", "she's a scorned/ obsessed woman", "she's been stalking me", and other crazy-making ways they try to turn it around on you.

Write a book and publish it. Do your own web site with your story and pictures. Post all pictures that relate -- photos he sent you, emails- with full headers, chats, gifts he sent --whatever pertains and illustrates the relationship.

List them as an abuser on the web. Do so only after you have established NO CONTACT with them. Use only sites that require verification and stick to the truth. Be sure you can back up what you say about some 110% and don't list things like their phone number, address or social security number - as that could lead to you being charged with aiding in identity theft.

Once you are out of their grip, you not only get to express yourself in an emotionally satisfying way, but you may save another person tremendous grief if they finds the cyberpath's name on one of these sites.


Excerpted from This Site

Internet Becoming a Pathway to Violations

by David Linton

Officials say people with restraining orders against them are using social networking to contact victims and victim's friends & families.

(Massachusetts, USA) A man embroiled in a domestic dispute with his estranged wife contacted her friends in an effort to see their kids, which was prohibited by a restraining order.

"She should let him see their father. She has issues with him. It shouldn't get in the way of the kids. Pass on the love," he allegedly said.

Prosecutors argued that the defendant, 38-year-old George Manchester of Fall River, violated a restraining order by trying to contact his estranged wife through her friends.

Only Manchester, who denies the allegations, did not speak to the friends directly or send them a letter.

Prosecutors say Manchester, who police say has a history of domestic violence and violating restraining orders, reached out through cyberspace on the social networking website Facebook. "Your honor, it looks like he's coming up with more creative ways to violate the restraining order without getting caught," Assistant District Attorney Kelly Costa argued last month during a bail hearing for Manchester in Attleboro District Court.

The use of social networking websites like Facebook, Twitter and MySpace by domestic abuse defendants prohibited from contacting their victims is becoming more common, authorities say, as the use of the websites has proliferated in society.

North Attleboro police Detective Michael Elliott says he's investigated numerous cases in which restraining orders were violated by people using social networking websites, as well as e-mail and cellphone texting.

"Just because it's not in person doesn't mean it's not a violation," said Elliott, who has investigated numerous cybercrimes. "Violations using the phone and violations over the Internet are very similar."

Officials at New Hope, a non-profit women's shelter and domestic abuse support agency, say technology is a good way to keep in touch with family and friends, but it also has been used to torment domestic abuse victims.

"Many of New Hope's clients have in some form or at some point had technology used against them by their abuser, and perpetrators of violence are becoming increasingly 'tech-savvy' in using various devices to abuse or locate their victims," New Hope spokeswoman Laura Hennessey Martens said. "It is important for survivors to know that while living in an abusive home or even after leaving their abuser, social media, cell phones and other technologies can continue to be used against them and may jeopardize their safety," Martens said.

In Bristol County, there have been cases in all four district courts in which defendants have violated restraining orders through text messaging or social networking sites.

In one New Bedford case, a man is alleged to have taken his ex-girlfriend's cell phone and texted her friends, threatening to kill her, said Gregg Miliote, a spokesman for Bristol County District Attorney Sam Sutter.

"We've had defendants threaten to kill victims and burn their houses down. It seems that in the past few years it is an ever more popular way for defendants to violate restraining orders," Miliote said.

There are no local statistics to show the number of incidents, Miliote said, but prosecutors in the domestic violence unit have been successfully prosecuting more and more defendants for violating restraining orders through cyberspace.

"It's not unusual," Miliote said.

A U.S. Justice Department survey released last year noted that 1 in 4 stalking victims reported some form of cyberstalking by e-mail or instant messaging - and that was based on information gathered in 2006.

With the increased popularity of social networking and smartphones within the past few years, authorities say instances of cyberstalking or prohibited contact due to a restraining order is almost certainly higher.

Social networking, whether by e-mail or websites, is becoming more popular among all age groups, with 86 percent of those 18 to 26 using social networking sites, up from 16 percent in 2005, according to a survey released last month by the Pew Research Center.

Users 30 to 49 shot up from 12 percent in 2005 to 61 percent in May 2010.

The fastest growth occurred in the 50 to 64 age group, with the figures more than doubling in one year. Last year, 22 percent said they used social networking sites, jumping to 47 percent in May 2010, according to the Pew survey.

Martens says domestic violence victims can protect themselves.

While each domestic violence survivor's situation is unique and may require different strategies to "stay ahead" of his or her abuser, some basic technology safety tips include:

If using a computer that your abuser might have access to, be sure to clear your browser. However, computer use can still be monitored and Internet use is impossible to completely clear.

It is recommended that survivors instead use a computer that the abuser does not have access to.

Keep personal or identifying information offline. Online photos and postings can be used to track victims' whereabouts. This includes photos and postings by family and friends of a survivor.

Keep in mind that, even when selecting privacy settings at the highest level of privacy, there is still no guarantee that the information will be or will remain private.

Keep in mind that cell phones, car safety tracking systems and other technologies have GPS tracking devices that can be used by abusers to locate their victims.

More information is available on New Hope's website http://www.new-hope.org

original article found here

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU QUESTION YOUR CYBERPATH?

from JOYFUL ALIVE WOMAN

replace the word ABUSER with CYBERPATH - and the behaviors will be the same.

How Your Abuser Might React to Being Questioned About their Behavior

When you confront your abusive friend/relative/significant other/employer/co-worker/neighbor/acquaintance about their abusive behavior, there are 5 things that you can usually expect:

• Anger – They will likely get angry at you for daring to question them.
• Defensiveness – They may try to blame you for their behavior, or try to make you think it’s your fault.
• Diversionary Tactics – They may try to make you feel guilty for confronting them about their treatment of you (or their behavior in general), or accuse you of being jealous. They will usually also turn the tables by accusing you of the same things you brought up (that’s called Projection).
• Lies – They may lie to you (this can and often does fall under Diversionary Tactics)
• Silence – They may simply clam up and refuse to talk about the abuse.

The above are all Primary Tactics of the Abuser/Narcissist/Cyberpath– learn them well

original found at this site

INSIDE THE ABUSIVE MIND

"..the narcissistic abuser often picks energetic, loving, successful, passionate people. They seek out in others, what they lack, then begin the process of appropriating what the other has for themselves. In this sense they are true emotional vampires, robbing their victims of their personality, they energy, their passion for life - metaphorically killing them.

Their preferred method though, in the end, is to have the victim self-destruct, allowing them to walk away in triumph seeking sympathy for what they've had to endure with this 'crazy person'."

(edited slightly for cyberpaths)
Abusive people (such as cyberpaths) typically think they are unique, so different from other people that they don't have to follow the same rules as everyone else. But actually, abusers have a lot in common with one another and share a great many thinking patterns and behaviors.

These may include:

Success Fantasies: The abuser believes in fantasies of being rich, famous, or extremely successful in other terms if only other people weren't holding him back. They're blocking the way makes the abuser feel justified in getting back at them, including through abuse. The abuser also puts other people down as a way of building himself up. Beckstead - prime example!

Blaming: The abuser shifts responsibility for actions to others, which allows the abuser to be angry at the other person for "causing" the behavior. Cyberpath example: "If you wouldn't "tempt me" I wouldn't beg you for intimate photos, cybersex or send you dirty pictures.."

Redefining: The abuser redefines the situation so that the problem lies not with the abuser but with others or the outside world. Cyberpath example: My wife/ partner doesn't love me; won't have sex with me; makes me feel bad - anyway... so I need to turn to you (and net porn) for relief. My boss stresses me out... so I take it out on you (victim) at the computer.

Making Fools of Others: The abuser combines tactics to manipulate others. The tactics include lying, upsetting the other person just to watch her reactions, and provoking a fight between or among others. The Cyberpath may try to charm the person he wants to manipulate, pretending a great deal of interest in and concern for that person in order to get on her good side. (love bombing, coercion, manipulation, brainwashing, anchoring lies)

Assuming: Abusive people often assume they know what others are thinking or feeling. Their assumption allows them to justify their behavior because they "know" what the other person would think or do in a given situation. Cyberpath example: "I knew you'd be mad because I didn't come online when you asked, so I figured I might as well stay away for a week..."

Emotional Dependence: Abusive individuals are usually very emotionally dependent on their partner. The result of their inner rage at being dependent means that the abuser acts in controlling ways to exert power and to deny their own weakness. (If they are having net affairs they may take out their rage on the new victim rather than the spouse - knowing the person they are cheating with has no one to tell without revealing the net affair!)

One major symptom is strong jealousy and possessive actions, normally sexual in nature. Another sign of dependence is the effect of what happens when the abused person leaves the relationship because of the abuse. It is common for the abuser to make extraordinary attempts to persuade them to return.

Lying: The abuser manipulates by lying to control information. The abuser may also use lying to keep other people, including the victim, off-balance psychologically. For example: The abuser tries to appear truthful when actually lying, or tries to look deceitful when actually telling the truth.

Rigid Application of Traditional Sex Attitudes: Abusive persons tend to have more inflexible beliefs about roles and functions of the opposite sex. The man may expect the woman to over fulfill all the household and mothering chores and to be very submissive and subservient.

Drama and Excitement: Abusive people have trouble experiencing close, satisfying relationships. They substitute drama and excitement (sex? playing games with people's heads & emotions?) for closeness. Abusive people find it exciting to watch others become angry, get into fights, or fall into a general uproar. Often, they'll use a combination of tactics to set up an exciting situation.

Closed Channel: The abusive person does not tell much about personal details and real feelings. The abuser is not open to new information about himself either, such as someone else's thoughts about them personally. The abuser is secretive, close-minded and self-righteous. Abusers believe they are right in all situations.

Ownership: The abuser typically is very possessive. Moreover, the abuser believes that anything that is wanted should be owned, and that the abuser can do as wanted with anything that is his. The same attitude applies to people. It justifies controlling others' behavior, physically hurting them, smearing their character, stalking, hacking their computers and taking things that belong to them.

Poor Anger Management: Individuals who have experienced a violent and abusive childhood are more likely to grow up and become spouse abusers or abused people themselves. A person who sees violence, even verbal or emotional violence, as the primary method for settling differences as a child is not going to have very many alternate ways available to channel anger. A person without an everyday outlet for anger risks exploding toward the people closest to them.

Minimizing: The abuser ducks responsibility for abusive actions by trying to make them seem less important than they are. Cyberpath example: "Everything I said online wasn't that bad", or "You took what I said the wrong way."

Fragmentation: The abuser usually keeps the abusive behavior separate from the rest of his life. The separation is physical; for example, the abuser will seduce and malign people online but not in real life.

The separation is also psychological; for example, it is not uncommon for an abuser to attend church Sunday morning and abuse his victim Sunday night. The abuser sees no inconsistency in this behavior and feels justified in it.

Above the Rules: As mentioned earlier, abusers generally believe they are better than other people and so don't have to follow the rules that ordinary people do. That attitude is typical of convicted criminals, too. Each inmate usually believes that while all the other inmates are criminals, he is not. An abuser shows above-the-rules thinking in saying, "I don't need counseling. Nobody knows as much about my life as I do. I can handle my life without help from anybody." (they usually only go to counseling when caught, as a way to say - "I straightened my life out - its ok now", then go RIGHT BACK TO COVERTLY ABUSING)

Self-glorification: The abuser usually thinks of himself as strong, superior, independent, self-sufficient, and very virile. When anyone says or does anything that doesn't fit this glorified self-image, the abuser takes it as an insult.

Inability to express feelings with words: This type of person is rarely capable of true intimacy and may feel very threatened by the prospect of being open and vulnerable. Particularly when frustrated, the abusive person expects instant gratification from their partner who is expected to "read" their mind and "know" what their mate wants. When the mate doesn't know what is expected the partner may interpret this as meaning they do not really love them. Therefore with an abusive individual, rejection = violence (verbal, physical, emotional). (if they do genuinely express themselves its generally a sarcastic remark, a putdown or anger)

Vagueness: Thinking and speaking vaguely or selectively skewing facts lets the abuser avoid responsibility. Cyberpath Example: "I'm working, I can't chat right now." (Working on OTHER VICTIMS??)

ORIGINAL ARTICLE FROM THIS GREAT SITE

NET ABUSERS ARE PATHOLOGICAL

IT'S OFFICIAL: NET ABUSERS ARE PATHOLOGICAL
By Evan Schuman, TechWire

Another yardstick of success will be achieved by the Internet community: It will be awarded its first official mental health disorder.

The newly identified disorder will be dubbed Pathological Internet Use (PIU) and will be christened during the presentation of a major medical paper at the annual convention of the American Psychological Association in Chicago.

The term is being coined by Dr. Kimberly Young, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Pittsburgh at Bradford, in Bradford, Pa. With her paper's presentation, the APA will classify excessive Internet use as addictive, in the same way that drugs (including alcohol), gambling, video games, and some types of eating disorders are today officially considered addictive.

Like those other ailments, Internet addiction starts when the rest of the person's life starts to fall apart, the paper stated. The Internet is a fine hobby or work tool, until it causes problems with social partners, work, or school, Young said.

Young studied 396 cases of PIU-afflicted people and drew some overall conclusions.

Net marketers need not fear, as traditional Web surfing accounted for only 7 percent of the Internet addicts and even more information-oriented tools (gophers and FTP sites, for example) represented only an additional 2 percent.

"Upon examination, traditional information protocols and Web pages were the least utilized compared with more than 90 percent who became addicted to the two-way communication functions: chat rooms, MUDs [Multi-User Dungeons], newsgroups, and E-mail," Young said. "This makes the case that database searches -- while interesting and often time-consuming -- are not the actual reasons Dependents become addicted to the Internet."

Young said one surprise in the results was the lack of high-tech people among the addicted. "While it is a common perception that those addicted to the Internet are computer savvy individuals, these demographic results show that only 8 percent came from high-tech jobs," she said. "Compare this to the 42 percent who indicated having no permanent jobs and the 39 percent who worked in low-tech fields. It is typically newbies who become excessive Internet users."

Among the jobs that she classified as low-tech were secretaries, bank tellers, teachers, advertising executives, and journalists.

The report said that the attraction of the Internet revolves around its perceived anonymity, where people feel comfortable acting out in ways they would never consider in real life.

"The ability to enter into a bodiless state of communication enabled users to explore altered states of being that fostered emotions that were new and richly exciting," Young said. "Such uninhibited behavior is not necessarily an inevitable consequence of visual anonymity, but depends upon the nature of the group and the individual personality of the online user."

"For those who felt unattractive, it was perceived easier to pick up another person through cybersex than in real life," she said.

But beyond sexual issues, newsgroups and chat lines allow people to literally create and secretly test new personalities before trying them out in the real world. "Beyond amusement, reinventing oneself is a way to fulfill an unmet need. The loss of a social identity online allows one to reconstruct an ideal self in place of a poor self-concept," Young said. "Those who suffer from low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy, or frequent disapproval from others are at the highest risk" of becoming Net addicts.

She quoted one participant in the survey as telling her, "By day, I am a mild-mannered husband, but at night I become the most aggressive bastard online."

The addiction can become a problem when the new emotional creation makes inroads into real lives or when the time spent in the virtual life takes away from responsibilities in the real life.

The addicted Internet user will spend an average of 38 hours per week online dealing with nonemployment/nonacademic efforts, compared with "nonaddicts" in the survey who averaged eight hours. Almost half of the participants diagnosed with PIU reported that they get less than four hours of sleep per night due to late log-in sessions.

Another reason for some of the addictions is the sense of community that some newsgroups create. "With routine visits to a particular group (chat area or newsgroup, for example), a high degree of familiarity among other group members is established.

Like all communities, the cyberspace culture has its own set of values, standards, language, signs, and artifacts, and individuals adapt to the current norms of the group," Young said.

"One can easily become involved in the lives of others almost like watching a soap opera and thinking of the characters as real people," she said.

Young's report said that this is especially attractive to people who might find it difficult to establish other social circles. "Homebound caretakers, the disabled, retired individuals, and homemakers have limited access to others," she said.

Internet addiction centers have already been created at facilities ranging from the University of Maryland at College Park to Proctor Hospital in Peoria, Ill., to Harvard affiliate McLean Hospital.

The test group broke down into 157 men and 239 women; the average age for the males was 29, and the average age for the women was 43 .

WHAT CONSTITUTES PATHOLOGICAL INTERNET USE?
Do you:

* feel preoccupied with the Internet (i.e., thinking about the Internet when offline)? * feel a need to use the Internet with increasing amounts of time in order to achieve satisfaction? * have an inability to control your Internet use?

* feel restless or irritable when attempting to cut down to stop Internet use?

* use the Internet as a way of escaping from problems or of relieving a poor mood (i.e., feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, or depression)?

* lie to family members or friends to conceal the extent of involvement with the Internet? (i.e. online sexual interaction with anonymous persons, online relationships your family/friends know nothing about, having an online life that only you know about?)

* jeopardize or risk the loss of significant relationship, job, educational or career opportunity because of the Internet?

* after spending an excessive amount of money on online fees (such as for online gambling, porn or shopping), often return another day?

* go through withdrawal when offline (e.g., increased depression, anxiety, etc.)?

* stay online longer than originally intended?

Individuals who met four or more of these criteria during a 12-month period were classified as dependent.

Thanks -- from a Victim

The former victims of predator Douglas Beckstead, Anchorage, Alaska, would like to take this moment to offer our heart-felt thanks and appreciation to everyone who has supported us over the past few years.

As we receive many emails everyday it is not possible to thank everyone individually.

We would like to make a special note of thanks to those like EOPC, who have offered many hours of support and helped us with legal issues as well as informative educational material. Most appreciated is the team at EOPC, without your continued support, information and assistance none of this would have been possible or as effective.

A special thank-you also to the many victims, ex-co workers and friends that have come forward against Beckstead in the past to validate his behaviors and know full well what he is capable of. Telling your side of the story has helped validate ours and vice versa. As agreed, where requested your details have been kept confidential.

Of all the positive feedback we have received there was only one negative attack, apart from Beckstead's own underhanded abuse and smear campaign he ran behind the scenes. Thankfully those that know Beckstead also know his words and know of his lies and excuses, they have heard it all one too many times before.

Exposure works.

To anyone else out there who has a story about this predator or any other, speak out, don’t be ashamed, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Predators like Beckstead take advantage of your kind nature and vulnerability, they use this for their own personal gain. You as a victim know the truth, stand by it and stand tall. Take back your dignity, you, as his or another predators target have done nothing wrong. We trusted in them and believed their lies, only we did not know they were lies until further down the line.

Predators try to scare victims into silence with threats (lawsuit threats, smear campaigns, spin campaigns, pity parties, counterattacks, putting up attack & hate blogs full of libel, etc) — and it all ends up being NOTHING 99% of the time. Nothing but grade school type attacks & name calling. Showing how low, immature and unable to be accountable they are.

Beckstead tried to bully his victims into silence. When that failed he again used projection and word salad, he emailed some of his victims and grossly embellished personal information (he loves to spread malicious gossip about you to his next target of choice).

He tries to scare and shame his victims into submission by telling them that he has told everyone about “your” state of mental health - and then adds that “he is prepared to forgive you - because you can’t help it”. This was said to hopefully play on his victims emotions and reel them back in. So he can keep using vulnerable women online for free masturbatory material. This was said to also pave the way to allow him an excuse to everyone else out there to carry on abusing you and your trust and keep you under his control.

Unfortunately for Beckstead, his victims could see through him and past his 5th grade bullying tactics. They did not “need him” the way he thinks they did. They did not “want him” the way he thinks they did. They are not obsessed with him, angry he wouldn't travel to sleep with them or any of the other nonsense he (like all predators) tell people. They are stronger, healthier and happier people now for not having this cretin in their lives.

He will take a minor comment made and twist it to the point of being ridiculous; he is nothing but transparent. This is the same man who repeatedly accused his victims of suffering from “mood-swings”, when in actual fact his emails show exactly who was swinging from the glory chandeliers one minute and draping himself in self-pity the next. Beckstead is the one medically required to take a myriad of meds to keep himself afloat. He is a screaming hypochondriac always vying for your attention.

Beckstead accused many of his victims of having 'issues' with him.
There was always an excuse from him, the woman went from being his everything “don’t know what I would do without you and your kids in my life” to being “after him”, “obsessed with him”, “after his body” - yeah all 300+ lbs! The one who has issues - is always the Cyberpath!

He called one “a radical lesbian”, another one “biologically disturbed”, one victim's dog “attacked him” - he threatened to “sue”( after he sexually accosted the two young girls in this family & then threatened to sue their parents because of the dog attack if they went to the authorities - a classic PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE) … you name it, he had a name and excuse for everyone of his former victims (including children) as to what, where and why they disliked him so.

Could it not be for the simple reason that they found out who and what you truly are Beckstead? You have to ask the question, surely all of these people could not all be wrong about him, now could they? Let's not forget that most of these victims were and remain to be a class above him and only tolerated him because they thought he was genuine and sincere until the game playing on his part commenced.

Once you start to realize and ask him questions, all bets are off.

Exposure HELPS victims on the healing path to first and foremost realizing that it was not you as the target and victim's fault. It was never your fault, the onus lies with the predator. It helps you realize and validate your experience, especially when you meet others out there that have suffered a similar fate. If not at the same hand as your predator then a strikingly similar experience shared with another - all of these predators operate under the same guises. You are not alone.

Exposure helps spread the word out there that we are not prepared to remain passive and let these predators get away with what they have done. Exposure makes these predators be held accountable for their actions. This in turn - helps you heal - with the knowledge that you are helping to save others from becoming victims.

It is not about revenge, it is not about a vendetta, it is about accountability, making them responsible one way or another, it is about taking back your life.

It is about prevention, knowledge is key.

Exposure makes those not aware or perhaps not realize that online predatory behavior towards adults is becoming more prevalent out there on the internet.

By exposing these predators we make a stand that this behavior is not acceptable.

Most certainly the predator will never admit to you or anyone else that they have committed any of these depraved acts against you. However, as proven over time, other victims will read your story - then they will come forward and tell you their story.

Validation = healing.
Exposure warns others either involved with this predator or about to become involved with this predator, of what lies ahead. If exposure saves just one other person from riding that emotional roller-coaster ride to hell then it is worth it. Beckstead and those like him get their cheap thrills out of using you, “watching you squirm” was one of his favorite lines, often said to his victims as he prepared to play a nasty hand against a work colleague or someone else who dared stand out in front of his obese carcass. Watch out because he is warning you of what is yet to come your way, it won’t be long before you too are suffering at his cruel hand of lies and deceit, in - fact from the word go he is lying to you.
Thank-you also to the many former victims of other predators who have shared their stories with us, who have encouraged and supported us. To the many other sites set up to expose these cretins in society, keep up the good work. Remember the best outcome you can have is success for yourselves, be happy in love and life as we have become.

Finally, a big thank-you goes out to those at the U.S. National Park Services for making a stand against this predator who has abused behind the scenes and used you for his own personal notoriety and attention. We know you have read what he wrote and we know you have witnessed the packages that were sent to your office in Fairbanks. We understand that some of you had your own personal grievances with this pathetic excuse for a human being.

Every action no matter how small helps stop predators like Beckstead in their tracks.

As witnessed, Beckstead is still trying to impress and brag about another story using his former employers website at the NPS, to boast and brag about glories long since past him. Thank-you NPS for not being an enabler to this predator.

Finally a big Hat tip to the member of the 'armyairforces forum' for bringing him to our attention.

Stay strong and be kind to yourselves.

For Photos of Beckstead and the Original of the post & more on Beckstead CLICK HERE

CAUTION: Abusive Partners Use Social Networking to Stalk

By Marissa Carruthers

(Sunderland, U.K.) Abusive partners are turning to technology to find sick new ways of stalking their victims, the Echo can reveal.

An increasing number of Sunderland women are seeking refuge after campaigns of terror, including being stalked using GPS tracking devices and apps on mobile phones, hacking into computers and online harassment.

Experts say advances in new technology have given abusers a tighter rein on their victims by handing them extra tools to trace their every move.

Clare Phillipson, of Wearside Women in Need, said: “Abusive men will always find new ways to either exercise control over their partners or abuse them. We currently have concerns with new technology that enables men to stalk their partners using mobile phones.

“They are able to activate the sat nav function without anyone even knowing, and this means they can see exactly where they are all the time. There have been cases of men sitting there and watching people walking round the streets then use Google maps to see exactly what house they’ve gone into and get a complete picture.”

The organisation has also seen a worrying rise in the number of women being beaten for posting innocent status updates on social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter and computer hacking to keep tabs on their partners.

In extreme cases, women’s movements inside their home have been monitored by CCTV cameras put up by possessive partners wanting to spy on their spouse.

“Websites like Facebook also give men a tool to constantly monitor their partners,” said Clare.

“We have seen a lot of times when women have left innocuous messages like you and I would say, like ‘had a nice night out with my friend last night’, and their partner has got violent. In some cases with more affluent men, CCTV cameras have been put up inside and around a house that can be accessed any time through mobile phones or computers.

“New technologies are making it much easier. Before, you couldn’t be in touch with your partner 24/7, but now we’re getting women beaten up because she’s at work and had to switch her phone off.”

There has also been several reported cases of wife-beaters turning to social networking sites to continue their harassment campaign after their partner has left them.

“I would say to people that if they are separating they should look very carefully at their Facebook privacy settings and their friends,” Clare added.

“There are many cases of abusive partners using them to build up a whole picture of their lives.”

original article found here

Involved With a Sociopath (or Cyberpath)?

Cyberpathy is an expression of Sociopathy and Narcissism -- therefore this article is very pertinent to those who may be, are or ever were involved with a Cyberpath. If you have thoroughly read any of our predator stories -- you will relate to this article! - EOPC

PART I



Is there something wrong with your guy? Does he lie, cheat, steal, commit fraud, use people then discard them, have fits of rage, seem self-centered or have no conscience?

Do you feel like something is wrong with him, but you are not sure what it is? It sometimes seems like his brain just does not work right and he does outrageous things.

Beware! You might be dating a sociopath. What are the warning signs? What should you do?

Sociopaths are sneaky and will worm their way into your life, despite your misgivings from the beginning. Something about this man is not quite right. You can’t put your finger on it, and you hesitate, but you get sucked into him anyway. These men are charming and can put on an act that wins your sympathy and devotion.

• If you have issues of low self-esteem, they instinctively know how to approach you and suck you in.



• If you are lonely and needy you are a big target for the man with a sociopathic personality disorder.

He makes you feel special and important. He convinces you they he has been misunderstood all his life, and you are the only one who understands him now. You feel validated and needed by this man, and he sucks you in deeper and deeper over time.

Your first warning was your gut instinct, and that was the time to run away and leave this relationship behind. Unfortunately, you didn’t, and now you are stuck in the hell that is a relationship with a sociopath. We all need to pay attention to the red flags, warning signs, gut instincts. We can learn to recognize the sociopath and never get sucked into him again.

The words sociopathic, psychopathic, and antisocial personality all mean the same thing and are a true mental illness, a psychosis. The three terms are interchangeable and have only different areas of focus such as socialization or criminal behavior. We will use the word sociopath because it is the most recognizable. Psychopaths are often equated with serial murderers, and antisocial is equated with dysfunction. [But the majority of them are MUCH more subtle!] The sociopath is sometimes charming and usually looks and acts normal enough to fool us. All three terms carry the same meaning: a disorder of the personality.



The most important thing to know is that a sociopath has a brain that does not work right. In fact, he is missing a part of his brain. More specifically, he is missing one of the building blocks of his personality. This is important to understand because it explains the seriousness of this disorder and why it cannot be treated or fixed or cured.

The part of his brain that is missing shapes his conscience, and because it is missing, he does not have one. The sociopath does not feel guilt, remorse or shame like the rest of us feel when we do something bad or wrong. He is not capable of feeling guilt or shame because he is missing that piece of his personality. It also means he does not have the boundaries, restraints on his behavior or impulse control that the rest of us do so he will do things that are outrageous, things that normal personalities would never consider doing.

The bad news for you is that this personality disorder cannot be fixed. You cannot fix him, and he cannot fix himself. No therapy or drug can fix this personality disorder because a part of his brain is missing. With long-term therapy some of the symptoms might be lessened, or the sociopath might learn to live more productively in society, but it cannot be fixed. This is why the most important piece of advice for the person involved with a sociopath is to leave. Get him out of your life. Run, don’t walk, away from him and never, ever go back.

A good comparison, something to help you understand the medical implications of this disorder, is to compare it to a disease of the eye. Diseases and disorders of the eye can be treated, like glaucoma, astigmatism, nearsightedness, etc., with medicine, eyeglasses, or laser surgery. Color blindness, however, can NOT be treated, because the person is missing the color cones and rods in the eye. A doctor cannot fix what is not there to begin with. This is why the sociopath, with a part of his personality missing, cannot be fixed. No doctor or therapist can put back what wasn’t there to begin with, and the sociopath is missing an actual building block of his personality, deep within his brain.

This explains why you sometimes feel like his brain just doesn’t work right. He lies, uses you, manipulates, bleeds you dry, rages, begs forgiveness, and then does it all over again without any guilt, remorse or shame.

Are you the one who is crazy, you ask yourself? No. His brain really does not work right.

Understanding and accepting this fact will help you leave the sociopath and make your life right again with normal men and healthy relationships.

ORIGINAL

READ MORE:
Part 2
Part 3

While this article uses the male gender, your sociopath/ narcissist/ cyberpath may well be female.

Victims & Abusers: Both Use Technology

By Shannon Proudfoot

Technology has moved to the front lines in the fight against domestic violence.

Advocacy organizations are using increasingly sophisticated high-tech solutions in their efforts to keep victims safe, even as they struggle to keep pace with abusers using technology to control and threaten their victims.

"Worldwide, it's an epidemic," says Alexis A. Moore, an abuse survivor and founder of the California-based victim advocacy group Survivors in Action.

"Perpetrators are changing their information and their manoeuvres. Their road map changes by the hour, where our training and education and awareness programs happen on a yearly basis, if that. Laws take years to develop."

GPS devices on vehicles or cellphones can be used to track a victim's movement without their knowledge and abusers can hack into their victim's online accounts to track e-mails or instant-messages, says Cynthia Fraser, a technology safety specialist with the Washington-based National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV).

Advocates first started hearing about high-tech abuse a decade ago, she says, but it's becoming a bigger problem because the technology is so widely and cheaply available. Even abusers who are not tech-savvy can learn how to stalk their partner with the help of the Internet, Fraser says.

The consequences of leaving a digital trail can be deadly. Fraser recalls one case where an abused woman wrote an e-mail about her plans to leave but didn't empty her computer trash bin after deleting the message. Her abuser found the message and killed her.

Fraser works with Safety Net, a project that focuses on technology and domestic abuse, and she's conducted training in Canada with law enforcement, Crown attorneys and shelter workers. Like other advocates, she's careful about how much detail she provides on this type of abuse and efforts to counter it because she doesn't want to "educate abusers."

"Technology has just added another layer to the complexities of women's safety," says Erin Lee-Todd, executive director of Lanark County Interval House, a shelter near Ottawa. "We just have to move with the times."

In Canada, most shelter websites prominently display warnings to victims that their online activities may be monitored, and many have escape buttons that switch to an innocuous website if someone walks into the room. Telecommunications companies have donated new cellphones and airtime to victims who fear their abusers may be tracking their communication or whereabouts with their regular phone.

E-Services, an online counselling program that allows shelters to provide live chat help to clients, is currently being rolled out across Canada by Shelternet, a Toronto-based organization that provides online resources to shelters and abuse victims.

Like those of many advocacy groups, the E-Services website has detailed instructions for clearing browser histories to help victims cover their online tracks, says project manager Tammy Falovo. But the widespread availability of spyware programs that can grab regular screen shots or log every keystroke on a computer and send the information to an abuser means that's no longer enough, she says.

"What we try to do is remind people that no medium is 100 per cent safe," Falovo says.

Many organizations now advise victims to seek help only on computers located in a safe place such as a public library or workplace, and to create a safe e-mail address they only use on computers the abuser has no access to.

The goal is to educate abused women and their children about the high-tech risks without frightening them even more, says Lee-Todd. But while the methods of abuse and stalking may be changing, she says the underlying motivation remains the same.

"The issues are still about power and control, and they're still rooted in that," she says. "Technology has afforded the opportunity to do that more strategically and often in a more sophisticated way."

For Moore, even a professional background as a high-tech investigator didn't protect her when she left an abusive partner several years ago. He began a campaign of "cyberstalking" that involved cancelling her credit cards, emptying her bank account and destroying her credit rating, she says, and like most intimate partners, he knew all the personal information and passwords that allowed him to do so.

Now a cyberstalking expert and founder of the California-based victim advocacy group Survivors in Action, Moore says some abusers will open e-mail accounts and impersonate their victims to seek information or send out naked photos — real or faked — to embarrass them.

"You can't believe what some of them do," she says.*

ARTICLE HERE

(*EOPC can believe it... )