MANTI TE'O - SMELLS 'CATFISH'-Y

(U.S.A.) Manti Te'o, the US college footballer revealed to have been conducting a relationship with a fake online girlfiend, has denied that he was involved in the hoax.

In his first interview since the revelations, the Notre Dame linebacker told the sports network ESPN that there was "no way" he could have been involved in prepetrating the scam.

There had been speculation that Te'o was involved in the hoax: the "girlfriend" was revealed to have died hours shortly after the death of his grandmother. Despite the apparent double tragedy, Te'o went on to play the game of his life when Notre Dame beat Michigan State 20-3.

It has been suggested that he was involved in creating the story in order to perpetrate a media-friendly myth to assist his Heisman Trophy candidacy.

But in a two-and-a-half hour interview with ESPN, conducted off camera, Te'o said he was the victim of the hoax: "When they hear the facts they'll know. They'll know there is no way I could be a part of this."

The comments were Te'o's first public remarks since Deadspin.com reported that his girlfriend not only did not die but, in fact, never existed. Notre Dame and Te'o insist he was the victim of a cruel joke.

According to a report of the interview on ESPN's website, it appears that Te'o concocted an elaborate story to hide the fact that he had not physically met the woman, known as Lennay Kekua. He lied to his father about the affair, who then told reporters that the pair had met. Te'o now says he never met the woman.

On the occasions they talked on video chat online, the woman never activated her camera. Te'o admitted to meeting Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, a man believed to be behind the hoax, but said he did not know of the scam.

"I even knew that it was crazy that I was with somebody that I didn't meet," he told ESPN. "And that alone people find out that this girl who died I was so invested in, and I didn't meet her as well."

Before Friday night, Te'o's only statement was to declare his embarassment at the Deadspin revelations. "This is incredibly embarrassing to talk about, but over an extended period of time, I developed an emotional relationship with a woman I met online. We maintained what I thought to be an authentic relationship by communicating frequently online and on the phone, and I grew to care deeply about her.

"To realize that I was the victim of what was apparently someone's sick joke and constant lies was, and is, painful and humiliating." 


ORIGINAL ARTICLE FOUND HERE

FOR HOW RELATIONSHIPS LIKE THIS ARE ACCOMPLISHED BY THE SCAMMER - Click Here 


SIMILAR STORY? Click Here

WHY AN "ONLINE" RELATIONSHIP?

WHY AN INTERNET RELATIONSHIP?

Private investigators get asked this question frequently. In their experience, it seems that the internet is safer and easier to meet people in than the real world is. On line, you can be the person you want to be. Maybe better looking, richer, happier, etc., etc. and it's safe to be that person. Mike, who was a mechanic in the Navy ten years ago in real life becomes Mike the former "Navy Seal" on-line. Michelle, whose college roommate became a model in the real world "does some modeling" when chatting with her friends in cyberspace.

You can type things on the internet that you would never say in the real world. In short, it gives people a place to fill a lagging self-esteem or to compensate for the short comings of their real life. Or to simply prey on others for fun, sexual pleasure or money.

Once you "meet" someone on-line who sounds exciting, sexy and interesting, you spend time learning about them and fantasizing about how they look, how well they relate to you, etc. As the "relationship" goes on, the two get to know each other better and the real world begins to enter the conversations.

Trust develops because this is the person "you relate to" and it builds up as more time goes by. It then gets to the point where they begin to be even more honest, sometimes totally honest, and an internet affair becomes a real relationship or affair outside of cyberspace.

Does it really happen?

Absolutely. Too many of clients consult with P.I.s and state their disbelief that their loved one would be trolling for sex on the internet or having an on-line affair. The reality is that, like affairs at school, work, church, the health club or any other social environment, it usually happens quite innocently and grows.

People go online and get to know one another in this safe internet world and slowly it progresses into cyber sex and or a real life relationship. Do not underestimate this format for people meeting and growing close on the internet. Internet affairs happen daily, in every town across the country.

There are also those who are not looking for a boost in their self esteem or have a relationship, rather they simply want sex with someone they don't know or no-strings-attached. In some cases, cybersex fills this need.

This sub-culture is comprised of men and women who use the computer to meet other people who want commitment free sex. They are attracted to the excitement of the affair. They like to type stories about fantasy and sex. They look for others who share this desire.

It is important not to stereotype these folks. They are not just "strippers" or the "dirty old man" wearing a trench coat. This is your neighbor, the soccer mom, the teller at the bank, your accountant, the person next to you at church, your coworker and potentially your partner.

This group uses the computer the same way those looking for true love do. They visit certain sites (not always dating sites - sometimes divorced persons, pen pal sites, parenting boards, class reunion sites, recovery sites or shared interests), e-mail, chat and instant message.

He's Back! - William Michael Barber Online Trolling AGAIN!

If you or someone you know STILL INSISTS ON DOING ONLINE DATING or just MEETING NEW PEOPLE ONLINE -- be SURE they get this message...

WILLIAM MICHAEL BARBER (known as the 'Don Juan of Con') - convicted con man and bigamist IS BACK ON THE DATING SITES!!

November 2012 - He's on "Sugar Daddy For Me" and here's the latest: 

http://www.sugardaddyforme.com/index.php?page=profile&pmid=3570201

The person who reported him to us says:

I knew it was a fake when I reversed image searched the picture, and I found it belonged to someone coincidentally named Mike Barber. I even found the person in the picture's facebook, and that's when I knew for sure the dating site profile was a fake. Also, what made me think it was [Barber] the con man was this message he sent me (no, I did not respond!):

"hello princess charming, i checked your profile and i really admire what i saw. am a cool gentle man who admire and respect women a lot. i just wanna share some love and see what the future holds, i will be glad if you can email me on my personal email michaelwilliams0077@yahoo.com or your phone number so we can take it from there because i really don't come to the site*, hoping to hear from you."

*Barber, like many cyberpaths - LIVES on online dating sites.  If they say they don't - that's a lie!

Barber was profiled in Fall 2006 in the pilot episode of "VERY BAD MEN" as "THE DON JUAN OF CON"

They never change. They NEVER "learn their lesson." Conning people is a WAY OF LIFE and these predators go back to it ASAP!

Barber was also at one time using the email: M.barber52@yahoo.com
Barber is 61 years old - not in his "50s"
Barber says he was "born in California" (LIE!)

from our friends at FightBigamy:

This is the generic letter he has been sending to unsuspecting victims, chocked full of run-on sentences, grammatical, and punctuation errors. You would think a guy who 'professed to be a doctor' would know better.

Barber1 Hi Angel How you doing today how is your health and how is your day going. i use to think that all me angels are found in heaven but now i can say i was wrong cos looking at your pictures on your profile you are such an angel. These descriptive little essays are hard to do. But hopefully it gives you a glimpse of who I am as a person. Cause I'm new to this online dating. So here it goes. My name is Micheal...was born in California. i'm 52 years old I'm the kind of man that treats woman so nice with kindness and respect them i care so much i like to take my woman on dates surprise her i am here to meet someone to trust and be there for her through anything. Someone to do things with and enjoy life with I want to share my life with that special woman who would be called my Queen i've a good sense of humor Loyal Genuine I love anything to do with the ocean and beautiful sunsets i love the rain i'm a very serious person Hoping to hear from you Well you can IM me on yahoo im at M_barber at yahoo dot com.

He professes to be new at online dating, yet he knows that online dating sites will not publish a bona fide email address when communicating via their systems, so he spells it out -- as he is well aware that the dating site's software will not catch the email address if is written that way!

In the past, Barber has had a penchant for women named Joyce or Donna. THIS MAY have changed since his conviction & incarceration. In the past he's claimed to be a sports figure, a doctor, a private investigator -- even a P.O.W.!

By the way, this ad above was on an LDS (Mormon) Dating Site! As we said yesterday - NO WHERE IS SAFE. NO ONLINE DATING SITE OR CHAT SITE IS SAFE!! No matter what their ads say!

Barber will change his information, get false identity papers and/or change his nicknames & email AS SOON AS HE KNOWS HE'S BEEN CAUGHT ON THIS ONE. BEWARE!!

Like Ed Hicks -- these predators/ con men DO NOT CHANGE. THEY ARE PERMANENTLY PATHOLOGICALLY IMPAIRED!

Write to EOPC immediately if you have any contact with this Cyberpath so we can pass the information along! (cyberpaths@gmail.com)

PLEASE TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW - PASS THIS ON!!

For more information on Barber, including pictures of this serial predator:

I MARRIED A CON MAN

FightBigamy on Barber

Very Bad Men on Barber - click on "THE DON JUAN OF CON"

Hypotheses about Online Relationships

Hypotheses about Online Text Relationships

A version of this article was published as: Suler, J.R. (2004). The psychology of text relationships.

(EOPC's comments in dark blue)

excerpts:
Even though cyberspace is filled with all sorts of sights and sounds - and becoming more multimedia rich every day - most relationships among people form and grow within typed text. E-mail probably accounts for most one-on-one relating, but message boards, chat, and instant messaging also bring people together. Even web sites, especially those of an autobiographical nature, can lead to friendships and romances. The site starts out as a one-to-many relationship between the creator and the readers - and over time, contact via private e-mail between a reader and the writer refines that relationship and moves it to a more personal, one-on-one level. Such text relationships are not unique to cyberspace.

Below are a list of hypotheses that I've gathered from articles I read and written, and from my discussions with all sorts of people, online and off.

The relationship between f2f (face to face/ or real-life) and online relationships

For some people, text relationships encourage more self-expression and self-reflection than f2f communication. For others, less.

Some people experience text relationships as more predictable, safe, and less anxiety-provoking than f2f relationships. (and easier to be manipulative and lie, also)

Some important aspects of a person may be obvious in-person but almost invisible online.

Elements of people's online relationships may reveal what's missing in their f2f relationships.

In text relationships, some people explore their interpersonal style and experiment with new behaviors. What is learned online can be carried into offline relationships.

Online relationships form and disappear more easily than f2f relationships. (objectification)

Intimacy develops more rapidly in text relationships than in f2f relationships.

Absent f2f cues and stimulation

Lacking f2f cues, text communication can be limited, ambiguous and an easy target for misunderstanding and projection. (and predation)

Lacking f2f cues, text communication disinhibits people, encouraging them to be more open and honest than usual, or encouraging them to act out inappropriately.

The lack of touch and body contact can significantly reduce the experience of intimacy in text relationships.

Some people are attracted to the silent, less visually stimulating, and non-tactile quality of text relationships.

People struggling with social anxiety or with issues about shame and guilt may be drawn to text relationships in which they cannot be "seen." (or predatory narcissism, or sociopathy)

88% ADMIT TO CYBERSTALKING THEIR EXES

by Lesley Ciarula Taylor

It’s way more than "complicated".

A University of Western Ontario masters’ thesis has found a full 88 per cent of people after a breakup stalk their exes on Facebook.

Jilted lovers signed on to friends’ account to spy on the one who dumped them. They deleted pictures of those happier times. They pored over old messages or wall posts. They clicked agonized fingers on the guy or girl who replaced them.

“It’s so interesting right now, so different from before this technology existed. Once you broke up in the past, it was over,” media studies graduate student Veronika Lukacs told the Star after successfully defending her thesis.

Not entirely. “Stalking isn’t really new. It used to involve parking your car outside their house,” her mother told the 25-year-old.

Still, this groundbreaking analysis of Facebook and broken hearts does have serious implications, Lukacs said.

“Nearly everyone is participating in these behaviours, it’s very very common,” she said.

“At the end of the day, Facebook does present very serious challenges for people getting over a breakup. It’s a much more serious issue than a lot of people think.”

Surveillance of someone on Facebook, or “creeping,” didn’t follow the patterns Lukacs expected.

“I had expected people who were not Facebook friends with their ex-partners would be less distressed.

“We found the opposite was true. People who had unfriended their partners had higher levels of distress. Based on interviewing people, I’m thinking that people who are the most distressed are the ones who delete their partners.”

Less surprisingly, the dumped partners who were most upset were also the most avid stalkers and the dumpers were the least upset.

Lukacs surveyed 107 people over age 18 who had experienced a breakup in the previous 12 months. Three-quarters of them were Western students. She interviewed 10 of them.

“A lot of people who I had interviewed talked about their surveillance behaviour and how they knew it wasn’t good for them and yet somehow they were doing it anyway. Rationality didn’t play a role for them.”

One man confessed he had hacked into his ex-girlfriend’s Facebook account. “He never thought he was the kind of person who would do that. He was really embarrassed.”

Among Lukacs’s findings:

• 86.2 per cent agreed or strongly agreed that Facebook is part of their daily routine.

• 70 per cent would use a friend’s account to keep track of a former girl or boyfriend secretly after deleting them on Facebook.

• 65.5 per cent updated their profiles once a month or more. Their number of friends ranged from 69 to 1,800 with 484 as the mean.

• 64 per cent reread or overanalyzed old messages or wall posts from their ex.

• 61 per cent were asked about the breakup when their relationship status changed.

• 50 per cent deleted an ex-partners pictures.

• 38 per cent altered their privacy controls on their Facebook accounts.

• 33 per cent changed their Facebook status to quote a song or lyric about the ex-partner.

• 31 per cent posted a picture in an attempt to make the ex jealous.

• 5.6 per cent posted a slanderous comment.

Lukacs is hoping to explore more aspects of Facebook and relationships with her thesis adviser, Anabel Quan-Haase, but will move her studies in the fall to occupational therapy from media studies.

“I’m interested in well-being. I was always interested in more of the social science side of media studies.”

original article here

Virtual Relationships and Online Betrayals

Do you tell total strangers your most intimate secrets and desires? Do you share details about yourself that you wouldn't even tell your spouse when you know nothing about the person you are telling those details to? Would you have phone sex with someone whose number was carved on the wall of a subway restroom?

You might ask "who would do things?" and wonder how I could ask such silly questions. But, if you've ever entered into an online relationship, you may have done all of that and more.

The virtual world can be a very dangerous place. It is the only place I know that anyone, anywhere, can be anyone they want to be. Who's to know if "Mr Perfect" is a truly sensitive guy or if he's on death row and having fun with trusting strangers?

SET UP FOR ONLINE BETRAYALS

Betrayal is devastating when it happens in real life, when our husband or wife does the unthinkable. Regaining trust after a spouse betrays us can take years, if ever. And, yet, we think nothing of trusting someone we "meet" online, exposing our deepest secrets, and becoming emotionally involved even before we've met them in real life.

In real life, we're able to put a face and personality together, and, while we certainly don't know everything we may need to know to form a friendship or relationship, we have quite a bit. In a first meeting we can tell whether or not there's a "spark" that might grow to a flame or more.

In the virtual world, we use our imagination to "flesh out" the other person, giving him or her all the characteristics that we "need" him or her to have.

A skillful manipulator is able to use just the right words to draw us into an emotional and/or sexual relationship, all without stepping away from his or her computer.

Photo exchanges are no guarantee of who you're sending email to, IMing or chatting with. It's very easy for someone to "lift" a photo of another person from any number of sources online and pass it off as their own.

Not every online encounter is going to be dangerous or deceptive but do you know which ones are honest and which aren't? When you're in a support group sharing details of your marriage, don't assume that everyone in the group is there for the same reason.

THE POWER OF THE WRITTEN WORD

Do you have an online friend with whom you feel comfortable talking about everything including very intimate personal issues even though you've never met in real life? Do you feel that honesty is an integral part of this relationship? Do you feel that this person may be or is your soul mate?

Here's how one woman described an online relationship:

"We talked about everything and he was so honest about how he felt and he offered me the support none of my family -- and certainly not my husband -- had ever offered. He didn't push for anything more than what I was willing to give; he was the ultimate gentleman. He even said he understood when I told him I was emailing other men, and he didn't object. He said there was no rush, that he'd take a cue from my needs. There was no pressure like the other guys I'd met in chat.

I was emotionally hooked by the time we arranged a meeting and I really thought it went well, no awkward pauses, and we seemed to 'click' in a physical way although I didn't go back to his room with him.

He was only in town for one day and when we parted he said he missed me already and promised to call as soon as he got home.

I expected to get an email the next day but there was nothing and he wasn't in chat and he didn't log onto IM. I waited until the second day to send an email which he never responded to. By the end of a week I felt emotionally raw. I've never heard from him again. What did I do wrong?"

She, as so many others before her, trusted the written words of a virtual stranger. With those words, she created a "real" person, one who filled all of her needs. She "fleshed out" his words to create her soul mate.

Never underestimate the power of the imagination. When he says he has dark hair, you imagine he looks like your favorite movie star. You give him a sexy voice, a beautiful smile, a winning personality. He becomes the perfect man, the man with all the right words at all the right times.

He becomes the one person who can brighten your day just by emailing "Hello, beautiful!" or IMing a smile. He's the first person you think about when you wake up in the morning, the last person you think of as you fall asleep at night. He fills in the emotional blanks within your life.

The two of you grow closer. You become dependent upon him and distance yourself from your real life relationships.

Would he be as wonderful, as comforting, as perfect, in real life? We'll never know how many women have pushed for an off-line meeting only to have their cyber soul mate disappear forever. Other women meet their dream man to find that he isn't single or separated but married and looking only for a lover. Words are easy, reality isn't.

ASSUME ONE PERSON IS A PREDATOR

In the virtual world, assume that at least one person in a chat room or a forum is a predator and act accordingly:

Don't post personal details in an open forum; don't assume that a private forum is any safer. On the Internet, there is no 100% safe place.

Don't email personal details to strangers no matter how understanding and solicitous they may appear.

Don't give out personal details when you're using chat or Instant Message programs even if the other person gives these details to you. They may have given you false information in an attempt to build up your trust.

Even if you feel you can trust the person you've been chatting or emailing, don't give out your address, phone number, or last name. With internet searches, someone with even one personal detail can probably find out where you live and more.

If you're planning to meet someone you've met online, make your first meeting in a fairly busy public place and take a friend along.

Be SURE to take someone with you, at least give them details of who you're meeting, where you're meeting, and when you'll be back to work or home.

No matter how the sparks fly at that first meeting, don't invite him or her back to your place.

No matter how comfortable you feel at that first meeting, don't take a drive with them or let them drop you off at your house.

Trust your "gut." There is no need to force yourself to like someone. That's exactly the point of meeting face-to-face: to see if the "bond" you feel for this person is real or illusion.

Have you been betrayed by your spouse? Have you come to the Web for comfort and support? Have you trusted in virtual friends and been hurt when they've betrayed you? After being betrayed in real life, why would you think a virtual relationship would be any safer from betrayal? Behind that keyboard, all those many miles away, is a real person, not a perfect person.

Remember Ted Bundy? He was a real charmer. I'm not implying that your online friend is another Ted Bundy but until you are absolutely certain he or she isn't, play it smart and safe.

Jailed for Bomb Hoax Against Online Girlfriend

(U.K.) A man who told police his online girlfriend was going to blow up a plane after she deleted him from her Facebook account has been jailed for 16 weeks.

Stuart Bingham, 38, drank up to four litres of cider before calling 999 and reporting that a woman was boarding a plane with a bomb in the United States. Police investigated but confirmed the report was a hoax and arrested Bingham at his home in Bransholme, Hull.

He admitted sending a grossly offensive, indecent or menacing message by electronic communication at a court hearing at Hull magistrates court in May.

District judge Frederick Rutherford said: "You decided, under the influence of alcohol, to make an emergency call to the police to tell them of a bomb threat, with specific details in respect of the flight path and what was going to happen to the plane." He added: "I will not ignore what has occurred. As a consequence of what you did, special branch became involved, contact was made with the authorities in the other countries. Because of their quick response at least not a great deal, or any, disruption was caused."

Prosecutor James Gelsthorpe said Bingham made an emergency call to Humberside police and told them a woman was getting on a plane from Detroit to Miami Fort Lauderdale with "something on her she should not get on the plane with". Gelsthorpe said: "He said it was a 'f***ing bomb'. He said, 'She's going to blow the plane up'."

The report was investigated by Humberside police's special branch, which is responsible for counter-terrorism, and calls were also made to the relevant authorities in the United States.

Bingham told police he spoke to the woman, named as Lawrie Punt, from Ontario, Canada, every day through the online call system Skype and also communicated with her via Facebook and text messages. He said they had been in a virtual relationship since May 2011 but had never met.

Bingham admitted making a call to the police but thought he had dialled the non-emergency number and said he could not remember using the word "bomb". Bingham, who is unemployed and suffers from anxiety and depression, received a caution last year for wasting police time after making around 30 nuisance 999 calls.

original article found here

Involved With a Sociopath (or Cyberpath)?

Cyberpathy is an expression of Sociopathy and Narcissism -- therefore this article is very pertinent to those who may be, are or ever were involved with a Cyberpath. If you have thoroughly read any of our predator stories -- you will relate to this article! - EOPC

PART I



Is there something wrong with your guy? Does he lie, cheat, steal, commit fraud, use people then discard them, have fits of rage, seem self-centered or have no conscience?

Do you feel like something is wrong with him, but you are not sure what it is? It sometimes seems like his brain just does not work right and he does outrageous things.

Beware! You might be dating a sociopath. What are the warning signs? What should you do?

Sociopaths are sneaky and will worm their way into your life, despite your misgivings from the beginning. Something about this man is not quite right. You can’t put your finger on it, and you hesitate, but you get sucked into him anyway. These men are charming and can put on an act that wins your sympathy and devotion.

• If you have issues of low self-esteem, they instinctively know how to approach you and suck you in.



• If you are lonely and needy you are a big target for the man with a sociopathic personality disorder.

He makes you feel special and important. He convinces you they he has been misunderstood all his life, and you are the only one who understands him now. You feel validated and needed by this man, and he sucks you in deeper and deeper over time.

Your first warning was your gut instinct, and that was the time to run away and leave this relationship behind. Unfortunately, you didn’t, and now you are stuck in the hell that is a relationship with a sociopath. We all need to pay attention to the red flags, warning signs, gut instincts. We can learn to recognize the sociopath and never get sucked into him again.

The words sociopathic, psychopathic, and antisocial personality all mean the same thing and are a true mental illness, a psychosis. The three terms are interchangeable and have only different areas of focus such as socialization or criminal behavior. We will use the word sociopath because it is the most recognizable. Psychopaths are often equated with serial murderers, and antisocial is equated with dysfunction. [But the majority of them are MUCH more subtle!] The sociopath is sometimes charming and usually looks and acts normal enough to fool us. All three terms carry the same meaning: a disorder of the personality.



The most important thing to know is that a sociopath has a brain that does not work right. In fact, he is missing a part of his brain. More specifically, he is missing one of the building blocks of his personality. This is important to understand because it explains the seriousness of this disorder and why it cannot be treated or fixed or cured.

The part of his brain that is missing shapes his conscience, and because it is missing, he does not have one. The sociopath does not feel guilt, remorse or shame like the rest of us feel when we do something bad or wrong. He is not capable of feeling guilt or shame because he is missing that piece of his personality. It also means he does not have the boundaries, restraints on his behavior or impulse control that the rest of us do so he will do things that are outrageous, things that normal personalities would never consider doing.

The bad news for you is that this personality disorder cannot be fixed. You cannot fix him, and he cannot fix himself. No therapy or drug can fix this personality disorder because a part of his brain is missing. With long-term therapy some of the symptoms might be lessened, or the sociopath might learn to live more productively in society, but it cannot be fixed. This is why the most important piece of advice for the person involved with a sociopath is to leave. Get him out of your life. Run, don’t walk, away from him and never, ever go back.

A good comparison, something to help you understand the medical implications of this disorder, is to compare it to a disease of the eye. Diseases and disorders of the eye can be treated, like glaucoma, astigmatism, nearsightedness, etc., with medicine, eyeglasses, or laser surgery. Color blindness, however, can NOT be treated, because the person is missing the color cones and rods in the eye. A doctor cannot fix what is not there to begin with. This is why the sociopath, with a part of his personality missing, cannot be fixed. No doctor or therapist can put back what wasn’t there to begin with, and the sociopath is missing an actual building block of his personality, deep within his brain.

This explains why you sometimes feel like his brain just doesn’t work right. He lies, uses you, manipulates, bleeds you dry, rages, begs forgiveness, and then does it all over again without any guilt, remorse or shame.

Are you the one who is crazy, you ask yourself? No. His brain really does not work right.

Understanding and accepting this fact will help you leave the sociopath and make your life right again with normal men and healthy relationships.

ORIGINAL

READ MORE:
Part 2
Part 3

While this article uses the male gender, your sociopath/ narcissist/ cyberpath may well be female.

Over 200,000 in Britain Duped by Online Dating Scams

by Peter Walker

(U.K.) Number of unreported cases likely to be far higher as individual losses range from £50 to £240,000

More than 200,000 people in Britain may have been conned by fraudsters posing as would-be romantic partners on internet dating sites, according to the first study examining the potential scale of the problem.

Anti-fraud groups have warned for some time about scams, in which criminals create a false identity – often an army officer on active service, explaining an inability to meet in person – and develop a close online intimacy with a victim, who is then asked for cash to help their presumed suitor out of a crisis.

It had long been suspected that official figures for such crimes greatly under-represented their prevalence, largely because many victims feel too embarrassed or hurt to go to the police, or never realise they have been conned.

The study by the universities of Leicester and Westminster, working with the Serious Organised Crime Agency (Soca), found 2% of people surveyed personally knew someone who had experienced the crime. Extrapolating this to the online UK population means more than 200,000 potential victims.

Monica Whitty, a psychologist and professor of contemporary media at Leicester University, said that the pool of those targeted was likely to be greater still as it did not include people who realised what was happening before they lost money and those who still did not realise they had been conned.

The researchers had been "shocked" at the numbers involved, she said.

There has been an assumption that victims tend to be middle-aged women. However, said Whitty, targets were from both genders and all age groups.

Aside from the financial costs involved – Soca has tracked individual losses ranging from £50 to £240,000 – those conned also faced the heartbreak of discovering that the person with whom they had fallen in love was the invention of a skilled con artist, usually Nigerian or Ghanaian, and often not even of the same gender.

"A lot of people find it very hard to accept what has happened, even if they know the person involved is now in jail," Whitty said. We've had male victims who still refer to the other person as 'she', even though they now know it was a man. In a few cases they've found the relationship so therapeutic they keep it going, even if they know they've been conned."

The scams often begin with an online dating site profile carrying a notably attractive photo, taken from elsewhere on the internet, and a description of someone in a remote, hard-to-contact location – whether a military base in Afghanistan or, to tempt male victims, a UK or US nurse at a small foreign hospital.

The use of almost exclusively online communication – the criminals occasionally resort to phone calls but these are rare given the extra difficulty of explaining away an accent – can actually accelerate intimacy, Whitty said, allowing victims to project their own hopes and desires on to a warm and empathic correspondent.

"Email and instant messaging can have the effect of being hyper-personal. Lots of people get in touch with someone through a dating site, meet them a few weeks later and this person doesn't live up to their expectations. With an online relationship this never happens."

The faked romances can last for a long time – the longest the researchers heard of was five years – with each criminal juggling a series of parallel relationships. At some point comes the request for urgent financial assistance, often to help them out of supposed difficulty.

"They might test the waters by asking for a present, for example saying they've lost their mobile phone and need another one. If this happens, they'll ask for money. It's like a clever marketing ploy."

Very few cases are seemingly reported. A spokesman for the UK's National Fraud Authority said the agency had learned of 730 crimes over the past 15 months, totalling £8m in losses.

The survey, covering more than 2,000 people, found that just over half were aware that such romance scams existed.

While this was a positive sign, Colin Woodcock of Soca said, significant numbers of people remained at risk.

"The perpetrators spend long periods of time grooming their victims, working out their vulnerabilities and when the time is right to ask for money," he said. By being aware of how to stay safe online, members of the UK public can ensure they don't join those who have lost nearly every penny they had, been robbed of their self-respect, and in some cases, committed suicide after being exploited, relentlessly, by these criminals."


How to spot a dating scam

Soca has compiled a list of tell-tale signs for people to look out for if they suspect their internet suitor is a con artist.

• A distant location and/or a job in the military: by pretending to be serving in, for example, Afghanistan, or on an oil rig, the scammer has a convenient excuse for being unable to chat on the phone or in person. When men are targeted, the other party often tends to be a nurse working in a remote country.

• A fondness for Windows Messenger or similar applications: aware that dating sites are increasingly conscious of such cons, the perpetrators can be keen to continue their wooing elsewhere.

• A suspiciously attractive and/or rugged-looking photo: of course, not every good-looking person lurking on a dating site is a fraudster. But the con artists tend to select particularly alluring physical alter egos, which they borrow from elsewhere on the internet.

• A quick adoption of a pet name: if, by the second email, you are being addressed as "dearest fluffy bunny", beware – it could be a fraudster looking to establish instant intimacy.

• A predisposition towards financial or other misfortunes: it is perhaps the most obvious tip, but if a suitor you have never met suddenly crashes their car, or needs an expensive airfare or a lawyer, be on your guard. The same goes if they start alluding to gold bullion or suitcases full of cash they hope to bring to the U.K.

original article found here

Married Woman Seduced by Internet Fake takes Hoaxer to Court

A married woman who spent $10,000 on a fake boyfriend she was allegedly duped into having an online relationship with has won a battle to take the case to court.

Paula Bonhomme was seduced with messages and emails from the imaginary fireman she met on TV series 'Deadwood' chat rooms in 2005.

The pair lavished each other with gifts before Bonhomme ended her marriage after planning to move with her new 'love'. But Bonhomme was devastated when she was informed that 'Jesse Jubilee James' had died of liver cancer in 2006.

Her stunned friends later discovered that the imaginary fireman was allegedly concocted by Janna St. James, a middle aged woman in Chicago, Illinois.

Bonhommme filed a lawsuit that was moved to Kane County, Illinois, where in December 2009 a judge dismissed her complaint.

But after months of legal wrangling an appeals court last month reinstated Bonhomme's fraudulent misrepresentation claim after rejecting the defence attorney's argument that the alleged hoax could be classed as fiction.

The appeals court was told how Bonhomme had been looking at message boards when she began flirting with the character. The couple spoke almost every day on the phone, with St. James being said to have used a high-tech voice altering device to sound like a man.

The pair had never met in person but Bonhomme left her marriage and was set to leave her home in Los Angeles, California, to be with her online 'boyfriend' in Colorado.

From her suburban home, St James had created a complex web of characters that were all entwined in the fireman's life. They included Pavlo Quietao, an Argentine friend, Krista, James' jealous ex-wife, Cakey, a rancher friend and even Rhys, James' young son. James was described as being a llama rancher with a love of words, and a rugged fireman who loved to knit but also suffered with bi-polar disorder. 'He' told Bonhomme that he had a six-year-old son and even sent a hand-drawn picture of a mermaid claiming to be from the child.

St James also sent gifts that were supposed to be from the mystery man. They included a rubber duck with a fireman hat, a lock of hair and a flattened quarter he'd stuck on the train tracks as a kid. Later she sent a carving knife said to have been melted in a fire and wood from a tree that had the initials 'JJJ' carved in, which St. James had said was salvaged from a fire that the man had extinguished. Bonhomme responded with her own gifts for 'James' and his family. They included a dog for his son.

Before the alleged con ended, St. James wrote Bonhomme a poem saying she was thankful of the romance between her and the imaginary fireman.

She wrote that she was grateful for 'the residual of that love, from which I now benefit.'

A short time later in 2006 Bonhomme was told that 'James' had died of liver cancer, having requested that nobody was present at his death.

'You all have temples within you,' he is said to have written in a last note. 'Go there if you want to honour me.'

The note, written on hotel paper, continued: 'I don't want to go. I don't want to die. I'm not ready. Not now. Not when I'm so close to being whole. So since everybody has always encouraged me to be selfish in my life I chose to die in secret. I know even if nobody else can understand, you can.'

An email from another of St James' characters, the fireman's son, stated: 'My daddy really died. I still cry every day and you will … it's okay to do that. We miss my daddy and your dog.'

St. James had been in constant communication with Bonhomme by posing as the fireman's friends. After the 'boyfriend's' death the pair grew closer. St. James arranged to meet the heartbroken woman and the pair traveled to New Mexico where they went on emotional visits to the fireman's imaginary haunts. But several months after the fireman's 'death' Bonhomme was told the truth about the relationship the day after St. James had visited her house.

Her friends confronted St. James who admitted putting Bonhomme through an 'emotional wringer' and the video was posted on YouTube. 'Who does that?' Bonhomme said, according to the Chicago Tribune. 'When you take it all apart and look at it, oh, you feel like such an idiot. … But when it's unspooled on you tiny bit by tiny bit and mixed in with reality, how do you even know where the lie begins?'

The court said that the fraud claim, which is usually applied to business, rested on an 'almost-two-year masquerade of false statements.' Daliah Saper, Bonhomme's Chicago attorney, said the ability to use the legal remedy for personal situations was a 'beautiful new tool'.

St James is reported to have written a letter to one of Bonhomme's friends after the hoax ended. 'I wanted nothing from her. I only wanted to be helpful,' the note is understood to have read. '(From) Janna, content with who and what I am.'

St. James' attorney claims that she should not be punished in court. She wrote in court papers: 'The concepts of falsity and material fact do not apply in the context of fiction because fiction does not purport to represent reality.'


original article here

GOOD FOR BONHOMME FOR GOING AFTER THIS WOMAN - SOUNDS A LOT LIKE THIS HOAXER (click here)

My Life was Stolen on Facebook

Sounds like our Exposed Cyberpath - Lissa Daly!


By JENNA SLOAN

Fleeing into the Tube station, Carolyn Owlett felt her heart racing with panic. Behind the ticket barrier, a man she did not know was yelling her name, shouting that he loved her and that he wanted to be with her.

Hurtling on to the safety of a train, the mum-of-one was soon to discover she was at the start of a nightmare brought on by a rogue user of a social networking site.

Cybersex
Carolyn, 26, said: "I was terrified. This man was shouting my name and personal information about me across Oxford Circus station but I had no idea who he was.

"He said he'd come from Belgium to be with me. I was so scared. I yelled at him to leave me alone. He looked like he'd been shot through the heart."

Carolyn was to discover that a 21-year-old woman in Belgium had stolen her identity on Facebook.

She had set up an email and Facebook account in her name, grabbed 2,000 pictures from the net, doctored some of them and conned Carolyn's friends and family into becoming her "friend".

The fake Carolyn, using pictures and details of the real one, had been in a 17-month cyber affair with Regis Remacle - the man at the Tube station - and had even claimed to be the mother of Carolyn's son Billy, three.

The story started to unravel last week after lovestruck Regis travelled from Brussels to declare his feelings to Carolyn in person.

Carolyn - who has a boyfriend - said: "I eventually discovered my Facebook account, and those of my friends and family, had been plundered and that a Belgian woman was pretending to be me.

"She claimed to be the mother of my son and even had cybersex with men online.

"The whole incident has been very upsetting."

Carolyn, from east London, is a radio and TV producer and presenter. In 2004 she was part of girl group The 411 who had two top five singles in the chart. She said: "I had a great time as part of the group and a few fans set up tribute sites online.

"It was flattering that they enjoyed our music and I sometimes went on the forums to chat.
"The group split in 2005 and I had my son Billy in 2007 with my ex. As a new mum I found Facebook invaluable for catching up with friends and staying in touch with my parents, who live abroad."

Carolyn, one of 26million Brits to use the site, said: "I had no problems until June this year, when I received an odd message from a stranger called Regis.

"It said 'Does your boyfriend know what you've been up to?' I thought it was a case of mistaken identity, so I sent the guy a message back to say so.

"I also started getting messages from men in Africa and Turkey calling me 'sugar lips' or 'hot stuff'.

"Then last week I was walking to Oxford Circus Tube. I was aware of someone walking very close, then I heard 'Carolyn' whispered in my ear. I realised it was the man following me."

Doctored ...
Carolyn ran through the station, leaving the stranger shouting after her. He turned out to be Regis, 28, a graphic designer.

On the train Carolyn recalled the odd message from months earlier. She said: "As soon as I got off the train I found him on Facebook and my boyfriend messaged him, asking what was going on. He replied within seconds and the story came out."

Regis believed he had been conducting a steamy virtual affair with Carolyn for 17 months. He had seen thousands of pictures of her friends and family and knew where she worked.
He'd had text and online sex with 'Carolyn', chatted to her on Skype and had bought her a diamond necklace.

Carolyn explained: "Regis sent me dozens of emails showing our supposed conversations. I felt sick and violated.

"My boyfriend was with me and we have a great relationship so he believed me when I told him the affair was fiction. But if we hadn't been so strong this could have destroyed us. She'd trawled the internet for more than 2,000 pictures of me and had badgered my pals, family and work contacts to be 'friends'.

"I do feel sorry for Regis, as for the past 17 months he's been living a lie through no fault of his own."

The pair discovered the stalker was a 21-year-old Belgian woman calling herself Kristella Erbicella.

Following the Tube snub, Regis contacted the fake Carolyn and Erbicella responded with a confession. Regis then shared that message with Carolyn.

Carolyn contacted her pals and discovered Erbicella had asked every single one to be her Facebook "friend", saying she was a mate of Carolyn's. Several believed her and accepted the request, giving her access to Carolyn's pictures and information.

Carolyn said: "Erbicella said she had been a fan of The 411. When she was feeling down one day she decided to use my picture and set up a Facebook page. She got compliments and it made her feel good, so she carried on.

"She had to find out more and more about me to keep the pretence going and the whole thing spiralled out of control."

She used one of Carolyn posing with a girl pal and replaced the friend with Regis, shown above, showing how they would look as a couple. Carolyn said: "I couldn't believe my eyes. It looks like Regis and I are a happy couple but in reality we'd never even met. It's scary to see what Erbicella was capable of."

In the one message Erbicella sent to Carolyn, she wrote in broken English: "I want to apologise for everything I've done.

"I really respect you. You have always been my idol. I'm sorry for everything, I do not want have problems with you.

"It is hard for me as I love someone who does not know I exist as me. I just want you to understand me and what I feel right now."

Carolyn said: "This woman has harassed my friends and used photos of my son. She even set up an online photo album dedicated to Billy - who knows what kind of people have seen those photos?

"I communicate with Billy's nursery through email and dread to think what could have happened. She could have turned up at the gates and taken him.

"The experience has shown me that nothing you post on the internet ever goes away. People should be careful when posting pictures of their kids and their lives.

"I found out the hard way that you never know who is watching."

original article here

eHarmony Promoting Casual Sex Hookups

J.P. and Amanda Duffy expose dating service's encouragement of 'one-night stands'

..excerpts (Think Online Dating is "safe"? THINK AGAIN!)

Wednesday evening, a friend called expressing dismay about eHarmony's most recent e-newsletter which included an article, "Navigating the one-night stand." Our friend read the first few lines: "So you're a swinging single, and you've had a one-night stand. What's the etiquette for establishing boundaries, calling the day after and getting out without hurting feelings?"

Promoting such high-risk, promiscuous behavior is outrageous and irresponsible.

The advice column glosses over the risks of sexually transmitted diseases. In flippantly urging readers to "always use protection," the columnist ignores the ugly realties of "one night stands." The Center for Disease Control reports that sexually transmitted diseases are at epidemic proportions in this country, with 19 million new infections added every year. The consequences of an STD infection range from infertility to impaired reproductive health.

Also glossed over is the increased risk for violence among those who "navigate" multiple sexual partners. The article states, "It's true you can't spot an ax murderer just by talking to him, but it's a good sign if you are comfortable with someone in the light before deciding to dance in the dark." Does anyone really believe that "talking in the light" is enough to sufficiently reduce this high risk of dating violence?

What the column doesn't report is that sexually active females are five times more likely to be victimized by dating violence than girls who are abstinent.

Several years ago, Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder of eHarmony, was closely associated with Focus on the Family. He separated from the organization after deciding to expand his services to the wider market. However, "Navigating the One Night Stand" takes this a step further by completely breaking eHarmony away from its Christian, pro-marriage beginnings.
After 24 hours, the article was removed from the eHarmony website. However, this will do little to undo the damage to their reputation. How did the advice column get there in the first place? It was clearly an intentional element of a well-designed newsletter, complete with a graphic of a tousled couple in bed together.

eHarmony can make amends by issuing a full retraction, an apology and an explanation of how this occurred. At minimum, this e-newsletter represents gross negligence. The apology should also be sent to all e-newsletter recipients.

eHarmony has assisted thousands of couples in building strong marriages. However, this goes beyond eHarmony's corporate reputation. A full retraction and reaffirmation of their mission will signal that eHarmony will remain an ally of millions of couples who endeavor to build strong marriages in the face of a culture that degrades marriage and family.

However, eHarmony's silence would signal something entirely different. A failure to retract will lead many to believe that eHarmony sees this as a minor issue and is open to "navigating" its readers into such risky territory again in the future.

Let's hope they realize that their standards should be compatible with the morals and values of their members.

SOURCE

Who wants to bet that eHarmony does it again? And other sites will or are doing the same! EOPC does not condone online dating or ANY online dating site in ANY way, shape or form.

AOL Chat Friend Pleads 'Not Guilty' to Murder

Prosecutors say a man suspected of ambushing and stabbing a woman he met online has been charged with second-degree murder in her death.

Raymond Dennis pleaded not guilty on Friday and is being held. His next court date is May 19. Police say 23-year-old Nimzay Aponte was stabbed to death at a Bronx park Tuesday as she sat with a friend.

Police say she told police before she died that "Mike" did it, referring to a person she met on AOL's instant messaging service and through a site called Local Hookups. Police say investigators tracked Dennis down, who went by that name on the service. Police say the two met once in person, but she didn't want a relationship.

Aponte's 25-year-old male companion was also stabbed in the arm. Dennis also pleaded not guilty to assault in that stabbing.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE