A Cyberpath's View of the World

excerpted from this great, must read site! CLICK HERE:

A Cyberpath/ Narcissist is like a vampire who drains the emotional and even physical energy out of those close to him. He identifies and cultivates his prey, using them as a source of supply to feed his never-ending egotistical needs.



Should his source not be good enough, he will dump it and can cut people off in an instant without a second thought. If he believes that the source has potential to be a good one, he will however nurture it and cultivate it carefully. This is where his charming mask comes into play.

Everyone is a source of supply to him and he cultivates this in everyone that he encounters and deals with. Those closest to him are however given the special honour of being his greatest source of narcissistic supply and will be severely punished if they falter at all.

From his family in particular the cyberpath/ narcissist demands unquestioning obedience, unwavering belief in him, complete subjugation to his whims and needs and perpetual attention.

There is another aspect to this however. The cyberpath/ narcissist does not only feed off adoration and gratitude, but on negative emotion as well. You are his mirror and as long as you are reflecting (reacting), his needs are being fed.

Often he will go out of his way to provoke a negative reaction purely so that he can get some sort of "power feed".

Remember that the mirror he is looking into is not made of glass, but of water. It is constantly moving and rippling. It is vibrant and alive. This activity seems to be a key factor for the cyberpath/ narcissist, as if it in itself validates him and makes him more real and less illusion.

When the waters get too calm and there is not enough movement, he will toss a pebble in and create some ripples just to get things going again. It gives him an enormous sense of power to know that he can so easily evoke reactions in his victims.

Even after he's been exposed he loves pushing his "false version" of events just to upset his victim.

It often seems as if the cyberpath/ narcissist is just plain bored when there isn't some drama around to feed him and, when all else fails, he will whip up a quick batch out of nothing. He will provoke you, taunt you, beat you, berate you - whatever it takes. Once you have given him sufficient response, he will finally sit back satisfied, in the same way that you or I may sit back in mellow pleasure after a good meal.

This is exactly what his dramas are to him. A good meal.

In this same vein, cyberpath/ narcissists love a good accident, a good disaster or a really juicy crisis. It doesn't matter whether it involves them or not. As long as they know about it they will make it about themselves in one way or another, wringing out of it every drop of sympathy or admiration that they possibly can.

They also love success stories, especially their own. They in fact have hundreds of success stories at hand with which to impress and win admiration. It may not be their story, but that's beside the point. Somehow they will make it theirs and if it actually belongs to someone close to them, you can be sure that they are the sole reason for that person's success.

An extremely difficult issue to come to terms with when you discover that your Cyberpath is a narcissist, is the awful, gut-wrenching realisation that this person has never loved you. They do not love, period. The only concept of love that they possess is the realization that it matters to the rest of us and it is therefore something that they can use. A weapon in their well-stocked arsenal.

To the abuser you are no more than an object for self-gratification. Like a desk or a chair. Sex with you is merely sex with a 'blow-up doll with a pulse.' You have no individual identity, which is why they get so enraged when you act as if you do. Your thoughts, your feelings, your behaviors are meant to exist and be employed for one purpose only - to make the narcissist look good and feel satisfied.

This is why he is so hell-bent on controlling every aspect of you and your life. - In his view of the world, it all belongs to him.


He is a demi-god. He believes that he can destroy you. This creative power of his applies to every aspect of everyone in his life. Without him you would be nothing and it frustrates him enormously when you refuse to realize this and grovel in gratitude that he even bothered to pay attention to you.

If you have a narcissistic Cyberpath in your life, please come to terms with the fact that you are not going to change him or her. The potential that you are clinging to is an illusion, the nice guy that you sometimes see is a manipulative mask, the dream of happy ever after is a pipe dream and the concept of love overcoming all is delusional. For love to have power, it has to exist in the first place. With a Cyberpath it doesn't and there is about a 99.9% chance that it never will.

If you think that your love for them can overcome on its own, you are engaged in magical thinking. These people are unreachable because they choose to be and it is a choice that nothing you do or feel can ever change.
Probably the most important thing to remember with a Cyberpath is that you will never win. They are beyond being rational, they do not listen to anyone else unless it is about them and when they do catch the odd thing that you have said they will normally distort it and use it against you at some stage.

Never ever show any weakness with them because they will store it away - for a lifetime if necessary - and use it against you (or someone else) some day. They go for the jugular because that is the quickest access point to maximum blood and this is exactly what they are after - your very life blood.

(though this article was written in the masculine, your Cyberpath may be female.)

The Modus Operandi of the Emotional Blackmailer

He is too good to be true - He is soft-spoken and polite, he smells good, he looks good, he is kind and loves women, he is respectful, he doesn't come on too strong FOR THE FIRST FEW MEETINGS ONLY. He's always on the lookout for a patsy, but he's in no hurry as there's always another one around the corner so he'll take his time in coming on to you.

He'll be there more and more frequently -gazing at you with puppy dog eyes; wanting to know everything about you, asking your advice, making it look like you are getting to know each other and forming a bond.

He will put himself in the best possible light - including lying through his teeth about his ambitions, activities, hopes and dreams.

His seduction techniques are often subtle and well-practiced - It will seem he did nothing to seduce you until you look back and analyze it. He sat and stood close to you, he brushed against you, but it didn't seem to be on purpose.

He suddenly "Turns on the Charm" and turns up the heat - Once you're hypnotized by his sweetness and modesty and respectfulness, he will pounce on you one night and turn into a Mr. Hyde. It "just happened." This is the critical moment to run away, don't let him touch you. He'll leave you breathless wondering what exactly happened. He'll turn on all the charm full force and you'll be wanting him from then on, yet wanting some breathing room. You won't get any. Ever. It won't bother you at first - you'll think he's attentive and ardent.

He starts using the lines technique - Once you're "seeing" each other, he'll be a real swain, discussing how amazing this new relationship is, how different you are from any woman he ever met; and he'll talk about your remarkable beauty and how "alike" you are. He will talk about your "resonance" and describe all the awful women he knew before who didn't want a good man - who wanted someone to abuse them. All of this is meaningless talk.

He uses the same lines on every woman.

He will whine and even shed tears - if you say you have other things to do, other people to see, or want to be alone after seeing him 8 days in a row. He enjoys being abused, so if you scream at him it only makes him feel more secure. He got used to fighting all around him as a child and he equates fighting with love.

He'll start demanding that you "prove your love" - You have become nothing but his prop. He has become your jailer. The key is: he demands CONSTANT proof of your love.

He will "seem" to accept your decision to break up - As the months roll along and you are tired of his constant presence, begging, whining and having unreasonable control of your life, you will decide to break up with him. He will then agree to back off, give you some space, and try to do better. These are all lies.

He'll tell you he has "changed" - No matter how many times you break up with him, he will call you to tell you that he needs you, that he has changed, and he will say it all in a calm voice as if he respects your decision to come back or not. His game is to stay away just long enough that you forget his annoying traits and miss the good parts. But if you agree to even one meeting it will be back to daily visits and demands for constant pampering again.

Getting Rid of the bastard
The only way to get rid of the emotional blackmailer is when he has found another willing victim to be his patsy. He will already be courting her while seeing you (he is juggling two or more women per day). Once he has the new person in his "thrall" and has nothing to lose by losing you, he will drop you like a hot potato.

He prey's on sympathy, and lives to control - his purpose is to have many women in his control - perhaps one for money and one to scream at him, and both for companionship. He gets a high from controlling people, because as a child he had no control over anything and frequently felt abandoned. This is why the more women who feel sorry for him, listen to him, go out with him, the better he feels and behaves. However, he is telling each of them the same thing: they are the best, the most beautiful, the most like him, he wants to spend the rest of his life with ONLY THEM.

The character of the Emotional Blackmailer
Everything he says or does is for gain. He does nothing for the sheer joy of it, or because he likes people or wants to build a relationship: he is looking ahead to what he can get out of the person: sex, housekeeping, emotional support, someone to listen to him spin his tales of woe, what have you. Loyalty or faithfulness are not in his nature.

He will become vicious and even violent if he is crossed, contradicted, found out, exposed or denied what he wants. It looks exactly like the tantrum of a five year old. That is still his emotional age, although he has the smooth moves of a Casanova down pat.

How to extricate yourself from the Emotional Blackmailer
One way out is to cut off all contact. Even email mayl put you back in his control if you get back into the same pattern of doing what he wants when he wants it. He is a master manipulator who will prey on your sympathy for him as a human being.

Any time spent reasoning with him is wasted - he doesn't hear a word you say. All arguments are circular. If he has no answer to your logic he will remain silent and wait for you to shut up, then start with his argument again.

After you have cut off contact, he will stalk you for a while if he doesn't have a replacement lined up yet, but this will cease because it isn't fulfilling enough for him. He NEEDS feedback, anger, someone to scream at him. Any kind of attention pleases him - he is a true masochist who would enjoy being slapped. If you catch him? He will accuse YOU of stalking HIM!

Turning the Tables
Another way to ditch the Emotional Blackmailer is to turn the tables on him. A man who is so good at manipulating is also easily manipulated to do whatever you want IF you do it the right way. You can be rid of him within a few weeks without avoiding him by doing the following:

* Exhibit jealousy and make it clear that you won't share him with anyone else, and you expect to spend the rest of your life with him and have exclusive rights over him. This will make him feel suffocated for a change and he will be eagerly stepping out on you while claiming he wants only you.
* Lose interest in doing anything you used to do for him or with him; stop taking him seriously; don't listen to his rants about his job; ridicule his ideas, act bored and make it clear you see him only as a useful decoration.

* Tell him to grow up, tell him you are well aware of his manipulative games but you like him anyway and demand he be faithful to you. This will scare him and make him step up his efforts with the other women, and he will soon be out of your life.

*****************************

A Final Note:
Healthy, non-manipulative men:

* Don't beg (or lie)* Don't tell you that you're "the best" or "the only one"

* Don't use the lines "if you really love me", or "prove you love me by doing this for me" or "I need help to get through this time so could you send me some photos, etc"...

* Don't put down their former girlfriends or wives, even mildly; and don't accuse women of being "scorned"

* Respect your right to have other online friends

* Share all their information with you: address, phone numbers, job, etc.

They don't mind if you double check on them for your own safety!


(this article was written in the male gender, your cyberpath may be female - EOPC)



original article found here

The Player

THE PLAYER

He'll meet you and sweep you off your feet;
He's nice and he's funny, so cute and so sweet.
Surprisingly he likes the same things as you;
He does all the things that you love to do.

He's the perfect guy, the one of your dreams;
You belong together or so it seems.
He looks in your eyes and plays with your hair;
He tells that he'll "always be there."

His touch is so soft, his hold is so tight;
His words are so soothing, his kiss is just right.
You ditch all you friends for your new obsession;
You don't realize your future is full of depression.

You think that you love him, you give him your heart;
little do you know that he'll tear it apart.
You do what he wants though you know its not good;
You told him "slow down" and thought he understood.

You let it slide by he's just having fun;
You'll learn to like it as time goes by.
He's taken your heart and locked it away;
And you see him with a different girl the next day.

You cry and you grieve, but then you forgive;
He'll "never do it again as long as he lives."
At this point you've fallen into his trap;
He has all control when you're in his lap.

You believe he's sorry you're together again;
You give him another chance, he's your best friend.
You're right where he wants you, he molds you like clay;
And you see him with girl number three the next day.

He got what he wanted, accomplished his goal;
He still has your heart, which he evilly stole.
He's taken your purity, you still can't believe;
You feel hurt, cheap and extremely naive.

You know he's an ass but you still want him back;
And you grieve about all the qualities you lack.
All you wanted was to have some fun;
Now you wish this whole thing had never begun.

You wish one day you'll see him cry;
That one day he'll feel what you felt when he killed you inside;
But you know that he won't, he's too numb to pain;
He'll be with some girl while you cry and complain.

Beware the players! they'll steal your heart;
And they'll give it back once its all torn apart.
Don't let them suck you into their game;
Cause once you lose you're never the same.

"Becky"

Thanks -- from a Victim

The former victims of predator Douglas Beckstead, Anchorage, Alaska, would like to take this moment to offer our heart-felt thanks and appreciation to everyone who has supported us over the past few years.

As we receive many emails everyday it is not possible to thank everyone individually.

We would like to make a special note of thanks to those like EOPC, who have offered many hours of support and helped us with legal issues as well as informative educational material. Most appreciated is the team at EOPC, without your continued support, information and assistance none of this would have been possible or as effective.

A special thank-you also to the many victims, ex-co workers and friends that have come forward against Beckstead in the past to validate his behaviors and know full well what he is capable of. Telling your side of the story has helped validate ours and vice versa. As agreed, where requested your details have been kept confidential.

Of all the positive feedback we have received there was only one negative attack, apart from Beckstead's own underhanded abuse and smear campaign he ran behind the scenes. Thankfully those that know Beckstead also know his words and know of his lies and excuses, they have heard it all one too many times before.

Exposure works.

To anyone else out there who has a story about this predator or any other, speak out, don’t be ashamed, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Predators like Beckstead take advantage of your kind nature and vulnerability, they use this for their own personal gain. You as a victim know the truth, stand by it and stand tall. Take back your dignity, you, as his or another predators target have done nothing wrong. We trusted in them and believed their lies, only we did not know they were lies until further down the line.

Predators try to scare victims into silence with threats (lawsuit threats, smear campaigns, spin campaigns, pity parties, counterattacks, putting up attack & hate blogs full of libel, etc) — and it all ends up being NOTHING 99% of the time. Nothing but grade school type attacks & name calling. Showing how low, immature and unable to be accountable they are.

Beckstead tried to bully his victims into silence. When that failed he again used projection and word salad, he emailed some of his victims and grossly embellished personal information (he loves to spread malicious gossip about you to his next target of choice).

He tries to scare and shame his victims into submission by telling them that he has told everyone about “your” state of mental health - and then adds that “he is prepared to forgive you - because you can’t help it”. This was said to hopefully play on his victims emotions and reel them back in. So he can keep using vulnerable women online for free masturbatory material. This was said to also pave the way to allow him an excuse to everyone else out there to carry on abusing you and your trust and keep you under his control.

Unfortunately for Beckstead, his victims could see through him and past his 5th grade bullying tactics. They did not “need him” the way he thinks they did. They did not “want him” the way he thinks they did. They are not obsessed with him, angry he wouldn't travel to sleep with them or any of the other nonsense he (like all predators) tell people. They are stronger, healthier and happier people now for not having this cretin in their lives.

He will take a minor comment made and twist it to the point of being ridiculous; he is nothing but transparent. This is the same man who repeatedly accused his victims of suffering from “mood-swings”, when in actual fact his emails show exactly who was swinging from the glory chandeliers one minute and draping himself in self-pity the next. Beckstead is the one medically required to take a myriad of meds to keep himself afloat. He is a screaming hypochondriac always vying for your attention.

Beckstead accused many of his victims of having 'issues' with him.
There was always an excuse from him, the woman went from being his everything “don’t know what I would do without you and your kids in my life” to being “after him”, “obsessed with him”, “after his body” - yeah all 300+ lbs! The one who has issues - is always the Cyberpath!

He called one “a radical lesbian”, another one “biologically disturbed”, one victim's dog “attacked him” - he threatened to “sue”( after he sexually accosted the two young girls in this family & then threatened to sue their parents because of the dog attack if they went to the authorities - a classic PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE) … you name it, he had a name and excuse for everyone of his former victims (including children) as to what, where and why they disliked him so.

Could it not be for the simple reason that they found out who and what you truly are Beckstead? You have to ask the question, surely all of these people could not all be wrong about him, now could they? Let's not forget that most of these victims were and remain to be a class above him and only tolerated him because they thought he was genuine and sincere until the game playing on his part commenced.

Once you start to realize and ask him questions, all bets are off.

Exposure HELPS victims on the healing path to first and foremost realizing that it was not you as the target and victim's fault. It was never your fault, the onus lies with the predator. It helps you realize and validate your experience, especially when you meet others out there that have suffered a similar fate. If not at the same hand as your predator then a strikingly similar experience shared with another - all of these predators operate under the same guises. You are not alone.

Exposure helps spread the word out there that we are not prepared to remain passive and let these predators get away with what they have done. Exposure makes these predators be held accountable for their actions. This in turn - helps you heal - with the knowledge that you are helping to save others from becoming victims.

It is not about revenge, it is not about a vendetta, it is about accountability, making them responsible one way or another, it is about taking back your life.

It is about prevention, knowledge is key.

Exposure makes those not aware or perhaps not realize that online predatory behavior towards adults is becoming more prevalent out there on the internet.

By exposing these predators we make a stand that this behavior is not acceptable.

Most certainly the predator will never admit to you or anyone else that they have committed any of these depraved acts against you. However, as proven over time, other victims will read your story - then they will come forward and tell you their story.

Validation = healing.
Exposure warns others either involved with this predator or about to become involved with this predator, of what lies ahead. If exposure saves just one other person from riding that emotional roller-coaster ride to hell then it is worth it. Beckstead and those like him get their cheap thrills out of using you, “watching you squirm” was one of his favorite lines, often said to his victims as he prepared to play a nasty hand against a work colleague or someone else who dared stand out in front of his obese carcass. Watch out because he is warning you of what is yet to come your way, it won’t be long before you too are suffering at his cruel hand of lies and deceit, in - fact from the word go he is lying to you.
Thank-you also to the many former victims of other predators who have shared their stories with us, who have encouraged and supported us. To the many other sites set up to expose these cretins in society, keep up the good work. Remember the best outcome you can have is success for yourselves, be happy in love and life as we have become.

Finally, a big thank-you goes out to those at the U.S. National Park Services for making a stand against this predator who has abused behind the scenes and used you for his own personal notoriety and attention. We know you have read what he wrote and we know you have witnessed the packages that were sent to your office in Fairbanks. We understand that some of you had your own personal grievances with this pathetic excuse for a human being.

Every action no matter how small helps stop predators like Beckstead in their tracks.

As witnessed, Beckstead is still trying to impress and brag about another story using his former employers website at the NPS, to boast and brag about glories long since past him. Thank-you NPS for not being an enabler to this predator.

Finally a big Hat tip to the member of the 'armyairforces forum' for bringing him to our attention.

Stay strong and be kind to yourselves.

For Photos of Beckstead and the Original of the post & more on Beckstead CLICK HERE

Involved With a Sociopath (or Cyberpath)?

Cyberpathy is an expression of Sociopathy and Narcissism -- therefore this article is very pertinent to those who may be, are or ever were involved with a Cyberpath. If you have thoroughly read any of our predator stories -- you will relate to this article! - EOPC

PART I



Is there something wrong with your guy? Does he lie, cheat, steal, commit fraud, use people then discard them, have fits of rage, seem self-centered or have no conscience?

Do you feel like something is wrong with him, but you are not sure what it is? It sometimes seems like his brain just does not work right and he does outrageous things.

Beware! You might be dating a sociopath. What are the warning signs? What should you do?

Sociopaths are sneaky and will worm their way into your life, despite your misgivings from the beginning. Something about this man is not quite right. You can’t put your finger on it, and you hesitate, but you get sucked into him anyway. These men are charming and can put on an act that wins your sympathy and devotion.

• If you have issues of low self-esteem, they instinctively know how to approach you and suck you in.



• If you are lonely and needy you are a big target for the man with a sociopathic personality disorder.

He makes you feel special and important. He convinces you they he has been misunderstood all his life, and you are the only one who understands him now. You feel validated and needed by this man, and he sucks you in deeper and deeper over time.

Your first warning was your gut instinct, and that was the time to run away and leave this relationship behind. Unfortunately, you didn’t, and now you are stuck in the hell that is a relationship with a sociopath. We all need to pay attention to the red flags, warning signs, gut instincts. We can learn to recognize the sociopath and never get sucked into him again.

The words sociopathic, psychopathic, and antisocial personality all mean the same thing and are a true mental illness, a psychosis. The three terms are interchangeable and have only different areas of focus such as socialization or criminal behavior. We will use the word sociopath because it is the most recognizable. Psychopaths are often equated with serial murderers, and antisocial is equated with dysfunction. [But the majority of them are MUCH more subtle!] The sociopath is sometimes charming and usually looks and acts normal enough to fool us. All three terms carry the same meaning: a disorder of the personality.



The most important thing to know is that a sociopath has a brain that does not work right. In fact, he is missing a part of his brain. More specifically, he is missing one of the building blocks of his personality. This is important to understand because it explains the seriousness of this disorder and why it cannot be treated or fixed or cured.

The part of his brain that is missing shapes his conscience, and because it is missing, he does not have one. The sociopath does not feel guilt, remorse or shame like the rest of us feel when we do something bad or wrong. He is not capable of feeling guilt or shame because he is missing that piece of his personality. It also means he does not have the boundaries, restraints on his behavior or impulse control that the rest of us do so he will do things that are outrageous, things that normal personalities would never consider doing.

The bad news for you is that this personality disorder cannot be fixed. You cannot fix him, and he cannot fix himself. No therapy or drug can fix this personality disorder because a part of his brain is missing. With long-term therapy some of the symptoms might be lessened, or the sociopath might learn to live more productively in society, but it cannot be fixed. This is why the most important piece of advice for the person involved with a sociopath is to leave. Get him out of your life. Run, don’t walk, away from him and never, ever go back.

A good comparison, something to help you understand the medical implications of this disorder, is to compare it to a disease of the eye. Diseases and disorders of the eye can be treated, like glaucoma, astigmatism, nearsightedness, etc., with medicine, eyeglasses, or laser surgery. Color blindness, however, can NOT be treated, because the person is missing the color cones and rods in the eye. A doctor cannot fix what is not there to begin with. This is why the sociopath, with a part of his personality missing, cannot be fixed. No doctor or therapist can put back what wasn’t there to begin with, and the sociopath is missing an actual building block of his personality, deep within his brain.

This explains why you sometimes feel like his brain just doesn’t work right. He lies, uses you, manipulates, bleeds you dry, rages, begs forgiveness, and then does it all over again without any guilt, remorse or shame.

Are you the one who is crazy, you ask yourself? No. His brain really does not work right.

Understanding and accepting this fact will help you leave the sociopath and make your life right again with normal men and healthy relationships.

ORIGINAL

READ MORE:
Part 2
Part 3

While this article uses the male gender, your sociopath/ narcissist/ cyberpath may well be female.

Our First Ever Cyberpath, Serial Bigamist & Ex-Con Back At It!

Cross-Posted as a courtesy to our good friends at FightBigamy:

Former jailbird and convicted serial bigamist, alleged sociopath and Virginia state felon Charles Edward Hicks, sometimes referred to as Ed is now calling himself Charles Greene. Mr. Hicks or Greene or whoever he is now got the longest sentence ever in the state of Virginia for bigamy.

This Charles Greene also has a new email address: e111h444@yahoo.com. (probably more!) I am surprised Charles Greene can remember that one, since he is 64, but he will tell you some younger birth year. I imagine the "e" stands for Ed and the "h" for Hicks; I don't know where the ones come from but 444 could mean his birth year that he always lies about.The real year is 1944.

• He is still telling the same lie about owning property in the Bahamas. He doesn't own squat.
• He is back trolling the online dating sites probably using his "in love with love" line.
• At one time he lived in the back of his van and used a kitty litter box for a bathroom. He rigged up lights and put insulation around the van for warmth.
• His van was parked along a street in Alexandria, VA until he found a woman in North Carolina who took him in and hit her up for $500.00 a month. (prior to his arrest)
  

He is a piece of work, and if he gets near you RUN!

Read everything you can under "Ed Hicks News" and "Ed Hicks Missives" on Fight Bigamy to familiarize yourself with this predator.

Also See a report on Dating Psychos, search under "Hicks" and look at the one without the photograph; read the one with the photograph as well. Hicks has 2 profiles at Dating Psychos! from 2 different women)

Read another comment below from Players & Psychos.com.

Comment from another victim:
He never stops.

He's back online using the name "CHARLES GREENE" - talks about his land in the Bahamas (doesn't own jack), he's an ace sailor (not), he's retired from the gov't (he was FIRED and disgraced after being sentenced for bigamy!), people are telling 'nasty stories' about him (sure... NOT!) and he's got a new yahoo address.

Beware ladies - don't let this charmer in your door

For pictures and more information CLICK HERE