Saturday, February 27, 2010

Ensnared: Internet Creates New Group of Sexual Addicts

Ensnared: Internet Creates New Group of Sexual Addicts
Adding 200 sites a day, Internet pornography seduces with never-ending variety.
By Marianne Szegedy-Maszak -- Special to The LA Times

For many people, a peek at an "adult" site offers merely a titillating glimpse into an illicit world.

For others, a peek becomes a moment of respite, a brief vacation from the demands of the real world. Then it becomes a habit. Soon, it is a compulsion that occupies hours and hours every day, shattering careers, marriages and lives.

The addictive nature of cruising the Internet and the obsessive allure of pornography combine to take over their existence. And although many who become addicted have had a history of acting out sexually with prostitutes, phone sex or pornographic magazines and movies, others are pulled in from outside such an orbit.

The Internet, more than any other type of mass medium, seems to be creating a new group of people engaged in compulsive sexual behavior, say psychologists and clinicians. The accessibility, anonymity and affordability - what one researcher calls the "triple A engine" - are reeling in people who would otherwise have never engaged in such behavior.

"I tried to figure out why it was that these images, or why it was that seeing this act, was so powerful, and I haven't been able to," says Phil, a married 28-year-old in Washington state. Like others interviewed for this story, he agreed only to the use of his first name. "But the obsession just ruled, and once I got into that world, it just took over."

Phil's story - with infinite variations but the same grisly narrative - is repeated by many whose lives are consumed by cyber porn. Whether gay or straight, married or single, those interviewed describe the intense feelings of guilt and excitement when entering this intoxicating universe, far away from the less thrilling one in which they live.

"As cyber sex has become more and more of a problem, what has shifted for me is the realization that many people who were into cyber sex didn't fit the classic profile of sex addicts," says Patrick Carnes, author of "In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior." He has spent 30 years studying and establishing sex addiction as a field of psychological dysfunction.

"For most people this is not an issue," says John Bancroft, the former director of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction. "But others have always had a problem keeping any kind of sexual stimuli under control and they have never had opportunities to go over the top as they do now."

Sex addiction is not recognized as a legitimate psychiatric disorder. But psychologists, psychiatrists and other clinicians are reporting increasing numbers of cases in which men - and researchers estimate that about 72% of visitors to pornographic sites are men - are showing all the signs of having an addictive disorder. They spend hours a day cruising the Net for explicit sexual sites. They become utterly dependent on the stimulus, making normal life - especially intimate life - no longer possible. When the material isn't there, they become obsessively preoccupied with it. And they ultimately crave even more time on the Web with even more graphic, lurid or outrageous stimuli.

It's the Internet's potential for escalation that has created such an increase in compulsive sexual behavior, says Rob Weiss, clinical director of the Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles, an outpatient treatment center for people with sexual behavior problems. In the past, someone could buy videos or magazines, each with a clear beginning, middle and end. "But now you can sit in the den and it never ends," he says. "There is a much better opportunity for someone with addictive tendencies to just get lost."

Some people who are lured into this world begin to act out in their three-dimensional existence, visiting prostitutes, for example, or engaging in phone sex. But most do not. The Internet offers an endless variety of stimulation, but it also leads to what psychologists refer to as a "dissociated state." Staring at the screen, feeling increasingly stimulated, clicking the mouse, all become almost a form of hypnosis, a state impossible to sustain in the real world.

Some of these people start turning every online friendship into a sexual one. Such as with new friends (of the opposite sex) or looking up old friends on school or work reunion sites. They draw others in by proclaiming their "old love" or "deep feelings" after just a couple weeks. They coerce the other person and 'infect' them with their addiction. Everything becomes sexual after a while; particularly online interactions.

Typically only a real crisis - a lost job, a confrontation by a spouse, police at the door because illegal pornography has been downloaded - can lead the addict to treatment. An assortment of 12-step programs have emerged to support recovery, and psychotherapists are reporting a surge in their practices of people seeking some way to rid themselves of this problem.

The strain of addiction
Night after night he sat at the computer, eyes scratchy with fatigue, back aching and tense, his right hand sometimes cramping from clicking the mouse from site to site to site.

Phil considers himself a sex addict.

When he was most out of control, he would wake up, kiss his wife goodbye, go to an adult bookstore and watch a movie while masturbating. Then, at work and when completing his undergraduate degree, he would check in at various Internet sites and try to recapture the images he saw in the film.

Most evenings he would visit nearly 200 pornographic sites and masturbate two or three times. Some of the sites were chat rooms and he conversed with young women he fantasized were teenage girls and suspected were older men pretending they were teenage girls.

He flirted with women, or girls, on the sites, looked at pictures, watched pornographic video streaming - and found that the novel variations of what could be considered a pretty basic act were seemingly endless. After all, more than 4.2 million websites and more than 372 million pages are devoted to pornography, according to the Internet security service Internet Filter Review. Even if he had maintained this rate of consumption, it would have taken him almost two and half years to see everything.

But he could never see everything, because the pornographic universe, more rapaciously than Einstein's universe, is constantly expanding. Industry figures estimate that about 200 new sex-related sites are added each day.

"You keep yourself in a state of arousal for anywhere from half an hour to two or three hours," Phil says. "It's degrading and humiliating and very, very frustrating and confusing. A lot of it is based on the need to escape and get away from everything."

Those interviewed who are attempting to kick their Internet pornographic habit describe feelings of dissociation, and the way that the graphic sexual images on the Web intrude in their daily lives. Given the range of erotica they are exposed to, their own intimate lives pale in comparison, as partners, spouses and girlfriends recede in importance.

If there is one psychological element that unites them, clinicians who work with these addicts say, it is a basic fear of real intimacy. And for many, the sexual and illicit charge they receive from cruising the Internet is a way to cope with depression or anxiety that rules the rest of their lives. Web porn becomes a kind of self-administered shock therapy.

Among clinicians, they are seen as suffering from "problematic online sexual behavior." They range in age from pre-pubertal to geriatric.

In one study of 9,265 general Internet users, about 6% scored in a way that suggested cyber sex compulsivity, while an additional 10% of the entire sample was considered "at risk." That research, conducted in 2000 by Al Cooper, a psychologist at Stanford University, was published in the journal Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity. Extrapolating from this research, experts estimate that Internet sex has taken over the lives of possibly 8.9 million people in this country.

They do not fit any neat or coherent profile.
In his early book on sex addiction, "Don't Call It Love: Recovery From Sexual Addiction," Carnes described sex addicts as people who shared a number of characteristics.

Overwhelmingly, they had a history of emotional, physical or sexual abuse in their childhoods. They often had suicidal thoughts or feelings and strong feelings of loneliness, and most came from families where there was abuse of drugs or alcohol.

Not so for the person addicted to cyber sex. Many are men, but women are increasingly showing up at 12-step programs, addicted less to graphic sex but much more to Internet "relationships" and Internet dating.

The brain's response
Masters and Johnson, the eminent duo of sex research, divided the human sexual response into four distinct phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. Though these phases differ for each individual, it is generally understood that most people with both a healthy libido and a satisfying intimate relationship fully experience all of them. Perhaps not reliably, perhaps not all the time, but frequently enough to maintain a certain emotional and sexual equilibrium.

These behavioral phases, neuroscientists have learned, are generated by an exquisite interplay between two competing systems in the brain: the excitatory system and the inhibitory system. Experts in the human sexual response, like former Kinsey Institute director John Bancroft, caution that at this point "we can only speculate and conceptualize how the brain functions in an inhibitory way."

Nonetheless, when there is sexual dysfunction, when someone is uninterested in sex - called a sexual anorexic by some clinicians - or obsessively masturbating, it is safe to say that either the inhibitory system or the excitatory system is out of whack.

The final ingredient in the inner workings of our sexual responses is what sex researchers call an arousal template. As individual as a fingerprint, an arousal template is, Carnes writes, "the total constellation of thoughts, images, behaviors, sounds, smells, sights fantasies and objects that arouse us sexually." The template can be as elaborate as an opera or as innocent as a particular perfume, but the images and feelings that it contains set in motion all the other elements of our sexual responses.

But with the variety and intensity of images, the Internet can throw this arousal template and all that follows into chaos.

"It can tap into an arousal template or fetish behavior that we don't even know we have," says David Delmonico, a professor of psychology at Duquesne University and co-director of Internet Behavior Consulting. The counseling group helps people who have problems controlling their use of the Internet, such as preteens addicted to instant messaging and adults unable to control cyber sex.

On the Internet, fairly standard pornography can lead very quickly into the darker world of teenagers or even younger children. "A lot of guys will say that they didn't start with the teen stuff or the little kid stuff," Delmonico says. "But it became more and more enticing for reasons that they simply were unable to explain."

Bondage sites and bestiality sites. Diapering sites and foot fetish sites. Young teens, hermaphrodites, dirty socks and excessively large organs. Anyone cruising the Internet can find more and more vehicles for arousal.

"People build up a tolerance, it doesn't give them the same high that it did before," Carnes says. So the process from excitement to resolution is thwarted. They need more to get excited and, for those who are compulsively hooked on cyber sex, the gratification of resolution never occurs.

Drew is nearly 40 years old, a married father who lives in Virginia. He is also a recovering sex addict who says he has been helped by Sexual Compulsives Anonymous. When he went online, he says, he was seeking escape from the tedium of daily life, from the depression that haunted him for as long as he could remember.

In one of the few studies of sexual compulsivity, published in 2004 in the Journal of Sex Research, a small sample of 31 self-identified sex addicts received questionnaires and were interviewed, then compared with an age-matched control group.

Although a symptom of depression for most people is decreased interest in sex, the study found that for a small number, including those who consider themselves sex addicts, their interest in sex increased with their depression.

In another study, published in 2003 in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, 9.4% of those who saw themselves as sex addicts reported increased interest in sex when depressed and more than 20% were more interested in sex when they were anxious. In addition, 45% of the self-identified sex addicts described feeling dissociated from their activities, an experience that was often repeated anecdotally.

The findings, though preliminary, have led some clinicians to augment their treatment of sexual compulsion with treatment for depression. And given the fact that one of the side effects of many antidepressants is decreased libido, some clinicians have found that antidepressant medication can also help.

When the emotions overwhelmed Drew, he would click on an Internet icon on his desktop and seek out teenage girls.

"When you are out there and in chat rooms or discussion boards and others are all discussing this as not a big deal, it lowers your resistance to it," he says. "So you are more open to doing other things."

In fact, so desensitized have people become to explicit sexual images from the Internet, that many law enforcement officials or forensic psychologists specializing in sex offender programs have reported that the Internet has created a new dilemma in the field. Phallometric testing had long been a reliable way to measure arousal patterns among sex offenders by showing them erotic images of varying degrees.

But the images no longer have the power to arouse because the offenders are so desensitized by the far more graphic and lurid images that are available on the Internet. "One of the most stunning clinical shifts I have seen is how quickly cyber sex exploration alters arousal," Carnes says.

Intimate disconnect
Like many behavioral addictions - eating disorders, gambling - cyber sex obsession does not occur in a vacuum. The partner, spouse or close friends of someone who is obsessed with Internet sex suffers immeasurable humiliation and anguish.

Phil's wife was shattered by his fascination with the world of online pornography. Initially she thought that his enthrallment with pornography and Internet sex was simply the experimentation of a young and healthy man. But over the years she felt her own self-esteem shrivel as she realized that she could never compete with the Internet.

"I always felt like I was some doll, acting out his fantasies but without any real connection between the two of us," she says.

Weiss of L.A.'s Sexual Recovery Institute says that treatment for people who are sexual compulsives must also include treating an unhealthy relationship.

"A healthy partner would say, 'I'm not sitting around here while you are doing that, I am outta here.' " But instead, many of these partners, in textbook versions of codependence, shield their children from their father's activities "by making sure they ring the bell when coming home, so daddy knows we are here and will stop masturbating in front of the computer," Weiss says.

Therapy and support
As Internet sex problems have increased, so have treatments.

An alphabet soup of 12-step programs - Sex Addicts Anonymous, Codependents of Sex Addicts, Sexual Compulsives Anonymous - have sprung up to meet the exploding needs. Some preach complete abstinence unless in a married relationship, others chart areas of acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

Clinicians have turned to cognitive behavior therapy, as well as drugs, because there is a long established link between aberrant sexual behavior and depression, anxiety and other emotional disorders.
"We look at our clients who are sex addicts like it is an eating disorder," says Weiss. "Sexual recovery is not not having sex. It is about healthy sexuality and staying within those boundaries."

Four years ago, Phil's wife threatened to leave if he did not get his behavior under control. She then took him to a meeting of Sexual Compulsives Anonymous. He looked around the room and heard stories that made him shudder, both because those who recited them seemed to be such losers, and because he recognized himself.

They are now struggling to pull their lives back together as a couple, going to 12-step meetings of Codependents of Sex Addicts and Sexual Compulsives Anonymous.

Phil cannot access the computer at home, and the television is locked and only his wife has the key. They go to meetings frequently and struggle to claim a normal intimate life. Phil has recently been diagnosed as suffering from bipolar disorder, and acknowledges having struggled with depression, like so many who act out sexually.

Phil's marriage is the most powerful incentive to change that exists. "
If I lose my wife, I won't have anything left to live for," he says, his voice thick with emotion. "My hope is just to make it through the day. Hour to hour. Minute to minute. It's 9 o'clock in the morning and I haven't acted out. There was a time when I would have acted three or four times already. So that gives me hope."

Because of his wife, Phil is one of the very lucky ones. For those who lack such a sustaining or intimate connection, hope will forever compete with a click of a mouse.

Where to turn for support

A number of resources and support groups are available for people who believe that they or their partners might be addicted to cyber sex. Although support groups and 12-step programs are the treatments of choice, there are fundamental differences between their basic philosophies.

S-Anon and Sex Addicts Anonymous believe that the only way to recover is through sexual abstinence and an exclusive marital relationship.

But these programs often do not feel manageable for people who are unmarried or gay.

Other groups, such as Sexual Recovery and Sexual Compulsives Anonymous, contend that recovery needs to be structured by integrating normal and healthy sexual activity into daily life.

Here are some of the main support groups:

* Codependents (or Co-Addicts) of Sex Addicts (COSA): http://www.cosa-recovery.org

* Counseling Affiliates Sexual Addiction Treatment Program, including tests: http://www.sexaddictionhelp.com

* Recovering Couples Anonymous: http://www.recovering-couples.org

* S-Anon: (800) 210-8141, (615) 833-3152 or http://www.sanon.org

* Sex Addicts Anonymous: (800) 477-8191, (713) 869-4902 or http://www.sexaa.org

* Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, for those who are also involved in compulsive emotional relationships online: http://www.slaafws.org

* Sexual addiction resources, by Patrick Carnes: http://www.sexhelp.com

* Sexual Compulsives Anonymous: (310) 859-5585 or http://www.sca-recovery.org

* Sexual Recovery Institute, Los Angeles: (310) 360-0130 or http://www.sexualrecovery.com

* Sexual Recovery Anonymous, sexualrecovery.org

(Cyberpaths who are sex addicts are often Narcisissts or Sociopaths. They turn almost every online relationship with the opposite sex into a sexual one, usually by using lure such a "i love you", promising a real relationship, claiming 'soulmate-ship' and so on(see LURES OF THE ONLINE PREDATOR on this site)... when really all they are looking for is the high of getting one over on you to obtain free sex - EOPC)

Friday, February 26, 2010

Facebook Hijacker Charged with Coercion & Harassment

by Amanda Melillo & Kirsten Fleming

A Queens man took his girlfriend's Facebook account hostage, changed her sexual preference to gay, and demanded cash for her profile's safe return, authorities said yesterday.

But Paul Franco's bizarre manipulations backfired when his stunned gal pal went to cops and had him arrested on Feb. 10 on charges of coercion and harassment, according to a spokeswoman for DA Richard Brown.

"My family convinced me to go to police," said Jessica Zamora-Anderson, a native of Guatemala. "Half the people in my country have heard about this. It's destroyed my life."

Ironically, Franco, 38 and his ex-girlfriend Zamora-Anderson, 30 met on Facebook in November 2008, when he posed as a 29-year-old English teacher from Queens College, where Zamora-Anderson blogged about taking classes, she said.

And the rocky relationship ended more than a year later on Facebook, as Franco's true identity and violent temper began to shine through, she said.

The Internet courtship started to sour in November 2009, when Franco, a musician, threw a phone at Zamora-Anderson's head, causing swelling and bruising, according to court papers.

But she stood by her man, especially after he claimed to have taped her during steamy sex sessions, the complaint says.

On Jan. 30, Franco's car was towed because it was illegally parked near Zamora-Anderson's Kew Gardens apartment.

He allegedly demanded $185 from his girlfriend to get it from the impound lot, or else.

Fearful that Franco would make the sex tape public, she forked over the cash and demanded he never contact her again, Zamora-Anderson said.

But she realized on Feb. 2 that the password to her Facebook account had been changed.

"He changed all of my personal information and said I was interested in women. I got a lot of requests for relationships with women -- and he was the one accepting them," said the housekeeper.

Zamora-Anderson said Franco was also spamming her family and friends and changing her preferences.

She hit the negotiating table two days later, asking what she needed to do to get her password back.

"I got worried that he wasn't going to stop," she said. "He was imitating me on Facebook and everyone believed it was me."

"Pay what you owe," Franco allegedly told her. He demanded an additional $390 for the inconvenience of having his car locked up, cops said.

She then went to police, and charged that he had beaten her throughout the relationship.

Franco did not return a call for comment.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Revenge -- Campaign of Hatred

When Elvis Kovacic discovered his girlfriend was still friends with a former boyfriend he had never met, the 30-year-old accountant set out to destroy the man's reputation in an anonymous hate campaign of phone threats, pamphlet letterbox drops and emails.

His target, Richard Gazzard, was a happily engaged co-director of Prestige Auto Traders in Rozelle. Kovacic falsely accused him of being a rapist and local police of covering up the crime.

The extraordinary tale of one man's blind jealousy was detailed by police when Kovacic stood trial in Central Local Court.

Prosecutor Sergeant Brad Scanlan told the magistrate, Gail Madgwick, that Kovacic, of Chiswick, could not handle the thought his now former girlfriend, Meje Tran, had kept in touch with Gazzard, who she had once dated.

Kovacic waged his hate campaign between 2004 and early 2006, distributing pamphlets with Mr Gazzard's photo under the heading "Buyer Beware" to letterboxes in the inner west.

His campaign came unstuck in an investigation that involved police retracing phone records and internet sites to Kovacic's home and work computers.

Kovacic pleaded not guilty to the charges, for which he faces up to five years' jail and fines of up to $5,500. But last Thursday Ms Madgwick found Kovacic guilty of two charges: using a carriage service to menace, harass and offend, and stalking with intent to cause fear, physical and mental harm.

In evidence at his trial last April, Sergeant Scanlan said the hate campaign began in April 2004, when Mr Gazzard received two anonymous calls from a man that were later traced to the home of Kovacic's father.

The caller told Mr Gazzard "you are f---ing dead. I know where you live" and later "I know where you work". By the end of the year, Kovacic had produced the first of three pamphlets.


Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Woman Fears for Her Life due to Cyberstalker

by Angela Sachitano

FLORIDA resident Deborah Riley hasn't been able to find a job in months. Google her name and she understands why.

Log on to deborahkayriley.com and a website dedicated completely to trashing her repuation appears.

Comments like 'she is on cocaine and crystal meth' and 'sleeps with anyone on the first date.'

This is only a small part of what Riley's ex boyfriend, Alex Dimusto, is accused of writing on the site he created.
"I feel violated and hopeless," Riley said. "It seems like there is nothing in place to protect the victim."

Riley says Dimusto purchased her name and other similar domains like it a few weeks after she broke up with him in January.

She says he has continued to fill the pages with lies.
"I wrote to web.com and they sent me to the abuse team," Riley said. "They told me I had to get a court order."

Riley has gone to the courts to get the website taken down and is currently waiting on a hearing, which could take another week.

In the meantime, we got in touch with Dimusto over the phone today.

When asked if he created the site, Dimusto answered, "I did not but I might know someone who did."

But according to godaddy.com, Dimusto is in fact the owner of the domain 'deborahkaeyriley.com.'

We also talked with a lawyer, who says Riley could have a strong libel case on her hands.

"This could be actionable," said attorney Barry Balmuth.

Riley says she not only fears for her reputation, she fears for her life. She says she only dated Dimusto for two months and wonders how far he will go to ruin her.
"He has told me he is going to put me in a dark place where no one can find me," she said.

According to Balmuth, here is what it takes to prove libel on the web - or anywhere for that matter:

Statement of fact - such as "She's a drug addict." Not a stated opinion, such as "I don't like her."
Has to be proven false.
Statement made carelessly or intentionally.
Damage to reputation

Sunday, February 21, 2010

How To Seduce Women Online

Excerpted from just ONE of hundreds of sites that tells Potential Internet Predators HOW TO DO IT!! (try not to throw up!) - EOPC
"When it comes to seducing women online, there are some different strategies that every guy must take not only to get her to fork up the nickname but also to get her to come to your place, or even a date.

"There are tons of dating sites to meet women online so we wont even get into that. If you really were born in the stone age and don't know, you shouldn't be online. Every single one is a potential f*ck mate. I was walking in the mall with a friend of mine while I was in Atlanta, GA last May and I found it so interesting, just noticing how most of the women we see walking by and encounter as we go, seem to be "looking", flirting for the next potential guy to get with.

"Don't forget, even if she's with someone, she still longs for SOMETHING. We all long for SOMETHING.There is something she need and want that she's not getting. YOU must be that person to give it to her, or at least make her believe its ultimately possible. Its so amazing when you can just think, and imagine the very real potential that any one of those broads can be in laying in your bed tonight! Powerful! This is how you have to think when you talk to women, even on the phone.

Telephone disadvantages: For one, you don't know if shes a fat, ugly pig that just has a sexy voice. Some of the sexiest voices I ever heard are from some of those chunky over-weight women, who by the way, are just itching to get laid. So be careful. You might think your game and strategy is what hooked her but if shes as big as a cow, she was easy anyway.

The second disadvantage is you might end up captivating and hooking an ugly duckling. This one has the same insecurities as the fat pig, although she might not be as desperate. From what I have seen, guys are more likely to forgive overlook an ugly face, provided the body is easy on the eyes. And thirdly, most of the tricks, like touching, implanted thoughts, mirroring, piercing eye contact is reduced to zero, although you can use these later when you meet together.

Online seduction: is much like telephone seduction. The difference is, you have to be skillful at writing so that the words she reads gives her the same deep intense feeling she would get from hearing your voice. Luckily, the words you inject in your sentences are the same ones you would use for your telephone seduction.

Phrases like:
intense feeling,
deep inside,
highest peak,
come inside,
more and more,
warm all over,
talk together,
really look forward to,
feel loved,
get excited,
excitement and anticipation,
see yourself,
so sexual,
desires you feel

...are phrases you MUST add to your argument so as to get their juices flowing. They have to be able to see and hear and feel what you are saying while they're reading it. So for instance if you're describing how good a massage feels, you would begin to describe the scenery.... laying on the beach in south florida, the cool gentle breeze lightly ruffling your sexy silky hair. You can see the sun as it disappears behind the ocean. Imagine how good that feels NOW as you begin think about it.... as the warm oil touches your welcoming body think of how its warm slitherly feel just massages you and penetrates and relaxes you deep inside etc etc.

Now how do you tell if shes a fat pig or an ugly duckling? If you met her online, the obvious answer is to ask for a picture, however, keep in mind that she might ask for yours too. So if you're not the best looking guy in the world you might want to keep this in mind. You might not have to be concerned too much if you have already conquered her mind and showed her your value. If she believes you're the best thing that came along since slice bread, it wont matter how ugly you are.

What I recommend is to delve into her insecurities by your questions so as to determine if one of those is her weight or her looks. You might ask her questions like "so when you go to the beach (presup) do you find that its very exciting or is it kinda boring?" That way, if she says she hates going to the beach, you know she's fat and/or ugly and is ashamed of showing anyone her body. To be absolutely sure you might also make a joke about her in the bathroom. Pre-suppose that shes hot and sexy and also that shes cocky and conceited about it. (All you're doing is using reverse psychology). So how do you do it? You say to her "Hmmmm you're probably so conceited (jokingly) I can just imagine you coming out of the shower, and standing in front of the mirror saying (imitate a woman's voice) "Damn I look good! Look at my butt, I'm gonna make those guys drool tonight". If her response is to laugh it off and say shes not conceited, she will tell you how she looks, just to defend herself.

If she's fat and ugly she will do the same thing but do it in a serious way, or even try to get you to not get your hopes up high. She might even try to change the subject. If you even get a hunch that shes fat, she probably is. At that point I just ask her outright and get measurements.

She Tricks You: So you arrange to meet this PREY at say, Barnes & Noble, the mall or wherever. You're expecting to see a nice, sexy petite eye-candy type you can feast your eyes on, and guess what - she tricked you. She shows up on time, all 250 pounds of her, wobbling and smiling as if to say, here I am baby....TAKE ME NOW! What do you do? Dont run away like a distraught little girl who was just told shes ugly. You're a gentleman, go out and meet with her. After saying your hello's this is what you say to her: "You lied to me about your weight, that means you're a liar. If you're a liar that means you're also a thief. I cant be with someone who is a liar and a thief!" Then turn, get into your car and drive the hell away from her. If the issue is that shes an ugly ducklin, you have to prepare your exit a bit different. If you were to meet at say 6pm, call your buddy and ask him to call you at like 6:30pm. That way if she's unbearably too ugly to look at you can just tell her "I have an emergency, I have to go!"

See ya! :) Happy seducing guys.



Saturday, February 20, 2010

'Rob me' Site = Dangers of Social Networking

By Zoe Kleinman

A website called PleaseRobMe claims to reveal the location of empty homes based on what people post online.

The Dutch developers told BBC News the site was designed to prove a point about the dangers of sharing precise location information on the internet.

The site scrutinises players of online game Foursquare, which is based on a person's location in the real world.

PleaseRobMe extracts information from players who have chosen to post their whereabouts automatically onto Twitter.

"It started with me and a friend looking at our Twitter feeds and seeing more and more Foursquare posts," said Boy Van Amstel, one of PleaseRobMe's developers.

"People were checking in at their house, or their girlfriend's or friend's house, and sharing the address - I don't think they were aware of how much they were sharing."

Mr Van Amstel, Frank Groeneveld and Barry Borsboom realised that not only were people sharing detailed location information about themselves and their friends, they were also by default broadcasting when they were away from their own home.

Simple search
The website took just four hours to create.

"It's basically a Twitter search - nothing new," said Mr Van Amstel. "Anyone who can do HTML and Javascript can do this. You could almost laugh at how easy it is."

He said that the site would remain live but stressed it was not created to encourage crime.

"The website is not a tool for burglary," he said. "The point we're getting at is that not long ago it was questionable to share your full name on the internet. We've gone past that point by 1,000 miles."

Mr Van Amstel added that in practice it would be "very difficult" to use the information on the website to carry out a burglary.

Charity Crimestoppers advises people to think carefully about the information they choose to share on the internet.

"We urge users of Twitter, Facebook or other social networks to stop and think before posting personal details online that could leave them vulnerable to crimes including burglary and identity theft," said a spokesperson.

"Details posted online are available for the world to see; you wouldn't hang a sign on your door saying you're out, so why would you post it online?"

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Florida Woman Charged with Cyberstalking

A 32-year-old Brevard County woman is accused of cyber stalking after police said she used Facebook to make threats against another woman, according to Florida Today.

Sylvia Jennifer Hernandez of Melbourne also is accused of violating an injunction, the Web site said.

Florida Today is reporting the alleged victim was granted a court injunction against Hernandez in December.

The woman told police Sunday that Hernandez recently contacted her and she had a number of unspecified threats on her Facebook page.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Cyber-Scammer Causes Suicide

Divorcee kills himself after falling for £82,000 (~$128,000. U.S.) internet dating con

By Chris Brooke

When lonely divorcee Philip Hunt fell for a beautiful woman on an internet dating site he thought all his prayers had been answered.

She convinced him she was young, fabulously rich and if he could help transfer $2.9million from Nigeria to the UK then they could start a new life together, an inquest heard today.

Unfortunately it was all an elaborate scam that would cost Mr Hunt £82,000 and ultimately his life.

The 58-year-old was hooked on the fantasy of a future with the stunning 'Rose' and he willingly paid out tens of thousands of pounds to help her beat malaria and get her funds through customs and into the UK.

The cargo officer remortgaged his house, took out loans, ran up overdrafts and begged for cash from his employers after repeatedly transferring money across to the fraudsters' account.

Eventually he became so hopelessly mired in debt that he committed suicide by lying down in front of a train.

Although warned by a former girlfriend that he was the victim of a 'scam', Mr Hunt appeared to believe in Rose until the very end.

His mobile phone was found in a rucksack near his body and a text message to Rose - which was never sent - read: 'I'm cold, lonely and depressed, I'm so lonely without you tonight. Going to meet my maker..'

Twice-married Mr Hunt went online in search of love after splitting up with girlfriend of three years Lesley Smith.

He began exchanging texts and emails with Rose, who claimed to be living in Nigeria. She sent him a picture of herself and he quickly fell in love with the attractive white brunette.

Over the months that followed Mr Hunt was tricked into thinking Rose was seriously ill and in desperate need of his help. The prize was the rest of his life with her and her cash.

Each time he came close to arranging a meeting with 'Rose' the anonymous criminals behind the 'romance scam' demanded further cash for hotels, medical bills and travel expenses to the UK.

He even travelled to London to meet two of the fraudsters who claimed they needed money for an expensive solution which would magically turn scrap paper into $100 bills.

Mr Hunt met two 'agents' at the Travelodge near London's City Airport. He was greeted by two large men who opened a case containing scraps of black and grey paper.

One of the men then sprayed a note with a mystery substance which seemed to turn the filthy paper into a $100 in front of his eyes - convincing him to hand over more money to pay for the chemical spray.

Mr Hunt began wiring over money in December 2008. At one stage he asked to borrow £25,000 from his employer, a shipping company at Immingham Docks, but later retracted the request and resigned from his job.

His last contact with the fraudsters was in June last year and he died on August 13 when he was hit by a train and suffered multiple injuries.

Police investigating his death found a handwritten note at his home in Grimsby addressed to them, which read: 'I just can't take it any more.' They also found bundles of emails outlining the huge scale of the fraud and a message predicting his own suicide. He wrote: 'I have insurmountable debts and will take my own life.'

A jury at the inquest in Hull returned a verdict of suicide.

After the hearing former girlfriend Miss Smith said: 'These people are out to get people when they are very vulnerable, they are like vultures. I'd like to alert people to this so they can be aware and be cautious.

'Philip was a quiet and reserved gentleman, and he was very intelligent which makes it all the more unbelievable that he fell for this, but he was at a low ebb and they got him when he was most vulnerable.'

Detective Chief Inspector Danny Snee, of British Transport Police, said: 'People need to be very wary, if something looks too good to be true it usually is. They should be particularly wary about parting with money with someone they have never met, it just doesn't ring true.

'The demands for money for supposed medical bills, hotel bills and travel expenses were endless.'

He said a criminal investigation into the international fraudsters was ongoing, although no arrests have been made.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Man Who Listed Ex in Sex Ads Gets Harassment Charges

(United Kingdom) FUMING Kath Thompson was plagued by strangers wanting sex after her ex-lover advertised her on a website for hookers.

More than a hundred punters bombarded her with "particularly salacious sexual" calls and texts, a court heard.

Dumped Nigel Hadley, 55, also spread tacks on the driveway of the 51-year-old - who was forced to change her phone numbers.

The jobless salesman, of Tiverton, Devon, was nicked - and admitted harassment.

Exeter JPs adjourned sentence for reports.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Facebook em'!


More people are cheating on their spouses using Facebook -- and more divorce lawyers are returning to the scene of the crime for evidence.

A whopping 81 percent of matrimonial lawyers say that in the past five years they've seen a massive spike in the use of social-networking information as evidence of infidelity, a new poll shows.

The most widely used cyber-evidence -- including messages to lovers and incriminating photos -- is found on Facebook, the survey from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reveals.

"Every client I've seen in the last six months had a Facebook page," said the group's vice-president, Ken Altshuler, "and the first piece of advice I give them is to terminate their page immediately."

Sixty-six percent of those surveyed said they'd used Facebook postings as evidence, with 15 percent from MySpace and 5 percent from Twitter.

Altshuler said he's had three cases in the past six months where Facebook postings were a key piece of evidence.

In one case, he was representing a woman getting divorced from her alcoholic husband and also seeking custody of their kids. The man had told the judge he had found God and hadn't had a drink in months.

"It was all the stuff you're supposed to say," Altshuler said.

The claim was exposed as bogus thanks to Facebook pictures of the man partying at a friend's house three weeks before the court hearing.

"The friend had a picture of him holding a beer in each hand with a joint in his mouth," Altshuler said, leading the judge to question the man's credibility.

"If you have your picture taken, you never know where it's going to wind up," Altshuler said.

He also cited another recent custody case where his client's ex-wife had claimed she was engaged and set to be married in a bid to show how stable her household was.

That was called into question by the woman's Facebook posting where she wrote "she'd broken up with her abusive boyfriend and that if anybody had a rich friend to let her know," Altshuler said.

He said the posting was given to his client by a friend of the ex-husband who was still Facebook friends with the ex-wife.

"People don't think about who has access to their Facebook page," Altshuler said, and faux Facebook friends will usually sell out a true pal's spouse.

"It's often the third party who's the source of information," he said.

"Don't do anything because you don't know who's looking. A good attorney can have a field day with this information."

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Arrested for Cyberstalking

BOULDER, Colorado -- Boulder police have arrested a 37-year-old man and accused him of cyber-stalking his ex-girlfriend by breaking into her apartment, installing listening devices and placing spyware on her computer, police said Monday.

Christopher Spiewak also is accused of sending the woman threatening e-mails, police said.

Spiewak was arrested Friday and booked on charges of domestic-violence related stalking, second-degree burglary, computer crimes and repeated harassment, police said.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Husband's online revenge nipped in the bud

Celebrity adulterers have human rights too

A wronged husband bent on revenge who threatened to reveal the identity of his wife's celebrity lover on the internet has been barred from doing so. An interim injunction has been served on human rights grounds.

In a case which could have serious repercussions for online and offline media law the High Court has ruled that the wife of the celebrity adulterer should be protected from the publication of the details of the affair.

The identities of all parties have been kept secret. The husband was referred to as AB, the celebrity adulterer, believed to be a figure from the world of sport, as CC.

Justice Eady ruled that the privacy rights of CC's wife under the European Convention of Human Rights would be infringed by AB's revelations about their affair.
"In personal and sexual relationships the courts have for some time recognised that there is what is now generally referred to as a reasonable or legitimate 'expectation of privacy'," said Eady in his ruling.
The case involved a balancing of competing EHCR rights, said Eady: that of CC's wife to privacy and that of AB to freedom of expression. Eady said that he had to make sure that his judgments were free of personal moral bias.
"It is not for judges when applying the European Convention, which is a secular code applying to those of all religions and none, to give an appearance of sanctimony by damning adulterers or seeking, as I was invited to do by Mr Bartley Jones, to 'vindicate' the state of matrimony," he said.
In assessing the free speech rights of AB, Eady said that not all speech was of equal value and due equal protection. "The communication of material to the world at large in which there is a genuine public interest is naturally to be rated more highly than the right to sell what is mere 'tittle-tattle'," he said.

Eady was particularly concerned with the effects that any publicity would have on CC's wife. She was said to be suffering stress and anxiety which requires medical attention and the court heard that she had talked of committing suicide.
"If I come to the conclusion that, in order to protect [CC's family life], it is necessary to prevent the Defendant going directly or indirectly to the media for no better reason than spite, money-making or 'tittle tattle', then I would be obliged to restrain him. The fact that he may be, or may see himself as, an 'injured party' does not accord him a special status, not given to others, which inherently raises the value of the communications he wishes to make to the tabloids on to some higher plane or renders them more valuable in Article 10 terms," said Eady.
The court issued a temporary injunction stopping AB from communicating with the media directly or indirectly or publishing on the internet any details of the affair.


Friday, February 05, 2010

Ex- Sheriff's Deputy Charged with Felony Over E-Threat

By Dan Nienaber

(MINNESOTA) A former Blue Earth County sheriff’s deputy has been charged with a felony for an alleged e-mail threat he sent to other deputies in November.

The terroristic threats charge was filed Wednesday against Richard Glenn Miller, 36, of Mankato. Miller resigned from his job as a deputy in December after being placed on paid administrative leave Nov. 11.

That was the day Miller allegedly sent an e-mail, with the subject “Union Contract,” to 14 other deputies at 5:46 a.m. He was the only deputy on duty at the time, the criminal complaint said.

After discussing upcoming union negotiations, Miller allegedly ended the e-mail with, “We absolutely need to have this added to our contract and if we don’t I’m gonna bring a gun into our office and shoot this place and everyone to hell.” The e-mail allegedly ended with “MILLER” in all capital letters.

Miller was put on administrative leave later that day after the e-mail was shown to Lt. David Karge and Capt. Rich Murry. Miller allegedly told Karge and Murry, who went to his house to confront him, that the e-mail was a joke, and he ends all of his e-mails with a “bit of his sense of humor,” the complaint said. Miller’s squad car, M16 rifle and handgun were taken at that time.

All of the deputies who received the e-mail, as well as Karge and Murry, were interviewed by Sgt. Steve Collins of the Scott County Sheriff’s Department. Three of the deputies said they felt threatened by the e-mail and several said they felt “slightly alarmed,” Collins reported.

Others said they weren’t threatened but could understand how the e-mail could be perceived as a threat, the complaint said.

Miller said Wednesday that he never intended to harm or threaten anyone.

“It was an expression meant in a humorous way, and it was taken out of context,” Miller said. “It was a phrase that’s commonly used.

“If I would have known I was going to threaten someone with what I said, I most certainly wouldn’t have said it.”

Miller also said it might have been a mistake to make the comment in an e-mail because it’s more difficult to convey that a phrase is meant to be humorous. If he would have said it in person, the other deputies would have seen him smiling and understood it wasn’t meant to be a threat, he said.

“They were co-workers and friends,” Miller said. “It’s a real tight group of people. Whenever you’re dealing with union negotiations, you always try to lighten the mood.

“It’s really hurtful that someone would think I’m capable of something like that. I’ve spent the last 13 years of my life trying to help people. To be accused of something like that is really hurtful.”

After Miller’s resignation, Blue Earth County Chief Deputy Mike Maurer would not disclose why Miller had been placed on paid leave or the reason for his resignation. Maurer would only say there was an internal investigation and that the Scott County department had been asked to do a criminal investigation.

The investigation ended in early January and was turned over to the Brown County attorney’s office to decide if any criminal charges should be filed. Scott and Brown counties were asked to help to avoid any conflicts of interest, Maurer said.

Miller, who had been a Blue Earth County deputy since 1999, had been disciplined twice before by superiors, according to personnel records available to the public.

In 2005, he was suspended for 10 hours without payhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif for failing to complete two training courses. He also was suspended without pay for one work week in February 2002 after he was arrested for driving while intoxicated. In that incident, Miller also was accused of distracting a state trooper so he would be pulled over instead of an intoxicated friend who was driving another car.