IN ONLINE RELATIONSHIPS: Warning Signs to Look Out For

EOPC's comments in dark blue.
by Jennifer M. Good

If you are in, or are interested in being in, an online relationship, it is important to know what things to look out for so you don't get hurt -- physically or emotionally. The advice you'll find below is meant for you to use as a way to help protect yourself from getting hurt. The tips are mostly common sense, but sometimes when it comes to love, it's good to have it written down for reference.

Person is too secretive.This can be as simple as the person is insecure with letting out information about themselves, to the person being married or living with someone else.

Person is often flirting with other people online.
Just as in real life you can find "players" online. Watch how your online interest interacts with others. You'll learn more about them, as well as be able to spot any unusual interests.

Person wants too much information about you right away.
Unless you are 100% completely comfortable about this person, don't give away any personal information. Even then, it is a good idea to keep important information to yourself. (if they do this - they are PROFILING you, MIRRORING you and BRAINWASHING you!)

Person seems only interested in cyber or phone sex.Unless this is something you are interested in, this relationship is probably not going very far. (If they don't want to meet for lunch or dinner or spend any time with you - if they live close - ditch them. They are using you like an "online hooker".)

After trust has been established, person will only give you a pager or cell phone number, but not a home number.
This again could just be precautionary, but again, it could indicate a cheating heart. (married or involved?)
After enough time has developed, person is adamant about not meeting in person. The reason for this could range from the person hiding something about their physical self, their lifestyle, other romantic involvement's, or just protecting themselves. (excuses can range from "I don't think I can control myself with you" to "I don't go out/ have time" to "I don't think its a good idea")
Person wants you to move to local area or in with them after only one or two meetings, or less than one year.
While my husband and I broke this rule, I strongly urge other couples to really get to know each other in person. It worked out well for me, but if follow this advice you will find yourself more confident about your choices if you really take the time to know them in person before deciding to make the big traveling step.

You find the person posting other personal ads online.
An obvious heartbreak! (especially if they are posting at BangMatch.com or Eroticy.com, etc.... sex partner sites, while trying to lure YOU into and keep you in an EMOTIONAL relationship online so they can use & manipulate you further)

Person keeps e-mails from other people hidden or a secret.
Something to keep an eye out for. Any relationship that begins or is involved in secrecy has it's days numbered. (OR...... they tell you not to talk to so & so online and you later find they told the other person not to talk to YOU either!! and give each of you bogus reasons to no longer talk. If THAT happens MAKE IT YOUR BUSINESS TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON IMMEDIATELY!)
Person asks for money or other help or even suggests they are broke.
You may feel comfortable with this, but it's not a good idea, especially if your just met them. Don't open yourself to a potentially huge loss.
Person won't let you mail cards or other gifts to home address.
This is also another sign of a possible romantic interest living with them. Take the extra precautions to make sure your online interest is not already involved with someone. (they won't even GIVE you a home address! Run!)

Every tip is dependent upon your instincts. What is good for one person may not be good for the next. Use your head, and your instincts. If something doesn't feel right, question it and resolve it quickly. You may discover it was a case of doubt, but you may also discover it wasn't!

ORIGINAL ARTICLE FOUND HERE

THE ONLINE SUCCUBUS

My perfect lover became my worst nightmare.

By Sue Thomas
Cyberstalkers have been in the news again recently, but not much mention has yet been made of another unpleasant phenomenon haunting the Web: the emotional vampire. Making himself (or herself) quite indispensable, this person is your best friend, your most fantastic lover, the wonderful family you never had. For some, online relationships offer the chance not to find the love of your life but to get kicks from manipulating the emotions of others. In the worst cases, these individuals carry the deceit into real life.

As we all know, e-mail gives those good with language the ability to wrap a relationship around with such intimate text that soon nothing else matters but an intense one-to-one filling every waking minute. You might pretend to be several different people to several different lovers, with some identities sustainable offline, others not.

Thus, when I first met my lover, he was a female grad student called Cindi. Also a professor in a virtual classroom. Also a man called Rhyys. Also a top-level university administrator. Also a cyborg called Plex. Also a devout Catholic. Also a sadist called Gandore. Also a devoted husband and father. Also a very sad, very frustrated small-town inadequate person with a need to exploit and control.

The story of what happened to me in cyberspace is, on the surface, pretty similar to the familiar tale wherein net user No. 1 pretends to be something s/he is not, thereby tricking net user No. 2 into falling in love with her/him. What's different in my case is, first, the number of people who were deceived; second, the fact that the perpetrator is a respectable, high-ranking academic who, one would think, has no need to pretend to be a female chemistry student wearing dangly earrings; and third, the fact that the man seems to prey specifically on artists and writers.

So what did this rather plain, little-traveled, only son of an upstate New York Polish grocer actually do to ensnare so many intelligent men and women? Well, he identified our creative passions and used them as a template to form himself into what we most desire. He is an emotional tourist warming his hands on the fires of other people's lives, focusing his attentions on artists and writers because their imaginations are so near the surface that it's easy to plunder them. For example, since I write about computer technologies, he did his research, read all of my books and articles and made himself into what he knew would fascinate me most: an ungendered cyborg. With another woman who writes vampire fiction he became a vampire slave master, a persona that, though pathetic, would probably raise hilarity among his students.

For more than three years I was mesmerized by him despite the open bewilderment of friends and family, who couldn't imagine what I saw in such a homely character. But none of us guessed the truth: that I had given three years of my life and promised the whole of my future to a sociopath who preys on others for his own gain without regard to the consequences for his victims.

Another description would perhaps be "succubus," a demon who assumes female form to have sexual intercourse with men in their sleep, though in his case, it is in order to have sex with men online. He is a shape shifter who molds himself into whatever is needed and constantly searches for new forms to take. Although a familiar type in the flesh, his ease in setting traps online makes him something new: a cybersuccubus. And the peculiarities of his practice make him very hard to accuse.

While I have no idea why he did what he did, I can at least outline the story.

In 1995 I began researching a novel set in the online community of LambdaMOO, a virtual space in which several people in different locations can talk to one another online by typing simultaneously, creating a constantly moving screen that shows short, abrupt sentences that manage to convey personalities and emotions at a surprisingly complex level. In a MOO (a multiuser domain that is object oriented), words are all you are -- and so the more adept your language, the more effective your presence.

In this setting, on a day in November 1995, I was type-talking with a female postgraduate student bearing the fanciful online name of Cindi and a description to match. ("A 5-foot-10 green-eyed redhead with a runaway imagination and a fuzzy idea of the line between virtual and real. She runs five miles or so every morning to make sure all the pizza she eats doesn't take up residence. Her hair is short enough that her earrings can dangle when she walks.") She introduced me to one of her friends, a middle-aged chemistry professor recently promoted to a powerful administrative position at his private Connecticut university. "All his students love him!" she told me enthusiastically. His online name was Rhyys.

I was briefly involved online with both of them, but the relationship with Rhyys soon became intense. We were talk-typing online several times a day until Christmas Eve 1995, when, in a slow and emotional ritual, we each typed our real-life names. After that, there was no going back. I already knew by then he was a devout Catholic, that he had been married for 20 years, that he had one small child, born late in the marriage. Of course, I should have turned away, but I did not. Instead, I opened my heart and he walked straight in. I'd never met him, never even heard his voice on the phone, but he felt like my lover, my brother, my best friend and my colleague all rolled into one. I was especially struck by his thoughtfulness. For example, he stated the need for some kind of message system in case either of us was taken ill. And who would tell Cindi, he asked? Something had to be worked out. He promised to give it some thought. A few days later he was begging me to trust him: "Just stay loving me," he wrote. "I will try with all I have to not let you down. Don't be scared of crawling under my skin, I won't crush you," he promised.
Looking back on it now, it's hard to explain exactly why I took any of that romantic tosh as seriously as I did. And why did I connect with him so strongly in the first place? All the usual manifestations of attraction were there -- the faster heartbeat, the heightened sense of that one other person, the erotic intimacy -- and yet there were no bodies. Nor was there any chemical or physical interaction beyond those we imagined, invented or role-played. But the fact is, despite the lack of all those usual signals, I fell for him long before I even heard his voice on the phone. I suppose I formed an idea of him through the "tone" of his voice -- the words he typed and the stylistic nuances of his phrases, plus a sense of his personality conveyed by what he actually said in those phrases. Our huge ability to imagine combines with an intense desire to find perfection and creates, as we say in England, a silk purse out of a sow's ear. But that moment of free fall in the weightlessness of anonymity can lead to a very painful crash to earth when you discover that the person you fell for was only exciting because you imagined him/her to be so.

It's reminiscent of the famous experiment of biofeedback suits, when a couple (he in Paris and she in New York) were hooked up remotely with the intention that they would arouse each other via remote touching and mutual feedback. It seemed to work very well, to be enjoyable for both, and it was only later discovered that in fact the connection had failed right at the start and they never had been connected at all. In other words, they had been arousing not each other but themselves! In my case,

my lover's cliched phrases of love and passion created a facsimile of emotion that was as effective as the real thing, and the fact that they had never been connected to the truth was something it took me a while to discover.

In July 1996, nine months after we first met online, he flew to England to meet me, and we fell instantly in love. That summer, I also went to his hometown in New England. But in September, he made an astounding confession: Not only had he been posing as a woman online all the time he had known me, but that woman was Cindi! While I was not shocked by the gender-bending (that is part of everyday life in cyberspace), I was very shocked by the lie. But I was in love with him, and I was used to Internet life, where people often try out new identities. And after all, I was writing a book about the subject. How could I really object to this new revelation? I was so steeped in the mysteries of the Web that my ardor overrode my caution, and I saw his duality not as deceit but as a marvelous bonus: two lovers for the price of one. He deleted Cindi from LambdaMOO, but her memory remained strong, especially when we met in real life and I stared into his pale eyes to see her looking back at me. We had always played around with gender boundaries, and Cindi's continued ghostly presence made everything somehow even more complete as we grew closer and closer. She was still part of us.

The powerful effect that Rhyys had on me was his apparent presence in my previous books. In my first novel, "Correspondence," a woman is transformed into a software virus permeating her cyborg lover's body. In my second, "Water," the main character imagines a man into existence with the power of her desire. In another, the characters are attracted to each other purely by the power of words, just like the text interface of MOOs where words are all you are. Thus, I felt that I had written this man several times already, and now here he was manifested in the sometimes-virtual, sometimes-real flesh.

My new novel turned into a mixture of invented and real online experience. Rhyys (not, of course, his real name) and I were leading a heady life, logged on for hours every night, type-talking endlessly, exchanging histories, exchanging intimacies. We experimented with programming new environments and other personas. I recorded our often bizarre interactions, writing them into my book, and if they sometimes seemed pretty strange, they were real for us even if nobody else would ever believe them. We exchanged genders. We invented new genders. We created virtual cyborg bodies and played in them. We built laboratories, caves and whole sequences of rooms, all programmed into the ever-changing textual interface of a MOO. By now, I was absorbed and obsessed by him: his imagination, his eroticism, his intensity. When we were together in the flesh and I looked into his face, I could see it shifting from male to female, from softness to hardness, from dream to reality. I could not get enough of him. He had become my only muse. I dedicated my novel to "My Beloved Technician." I wanted to be with him and write about him forever.

SOURCE - READ MORE HERE

BEWARE: THE ROMANTIC PREDATOR!

The Don Juan motif has fascinated artists and thinkers for centuries. As far back as the 17th Century, Tirso de Molina created the archetype of the hero as proto-trickster, promiscuous manipulator, sublime lecher. Mozart's Don Giovanni is an elaboration on the theme, an opera that overwhelms the senses with the sheer vitality of an entity who can only be described as a raw force of nature. Moliere and Lord Byron, among others, bring him to life. Bernard Shaw, in an interlude in his play, Man and Superman, consigns him to an honorable place in Hell. In the modern era, cartoonist Jules Pfeiffer wrote the successful play, Harry, The Rat With Women, depicting the sad/funny shenanigans of an otherwise ordinary guy using women for recreational sex. The film Alfie, dating from the same period, enumerates the many "conquests" of a Cockney truck driver. The seducer remains the hero of song and saga, at least of the pop culture media.

The sexual predator, that dark and mysterious figure, the "stranger", unpredictable, hinting at danger, tinged with violence... what is there that so attracts women to him? Truly, there seems something almost magical about those few men who seem able to mesmerize women at will. What secret do they possess that gives them this power, this intensity, this animal magnetism?

Users and manipulators is the key phrase. Such men have learned to spot and sniff out vulnerable women, the "wounded birds", the ones most susceptible to their particular brand of sorcery. They have mastered the art of "pushing the emotional buttons" of their fellow humans, exploiting the feelings and weaknesses of hurt people (and is not most everyone hurt?), playing women like a musical instrument. In their single-minded pursuit of pleasure, of self-gratification, they leave behind them a string of victims. These are haters of women, exploiters of human weakness, parasites, sociopaths*. (CYBERPATHS)

These . . . fancy-grade hit-and-run drivers leave numerous
victims in their wake . . .
Roger Shattuck, Forbidden Knowledge

This little deviation into the dark alleys of the criminal mind and the underside of human nature yields insight into the sad emptiness of the career seducer. There is little to envy in these creatures. They lead meaningless lives, and each successive "conquest" does nothing to fill the screaming, hungry void within. There is little to admire, considering the pain and wreckage they leave behind.

What a chimera, then, is man! What a novelty, what a monster, what a chaos, what a subject of contradiction, what a prodigy! A judge of all things, feeble worm of the earth, depositary of the truth, cloaca of uncertainty and error, the glory and the shame of the universe.
Blaise Pascal: Thoughts, chap. x.

Behold the man, the man of action, the ruthless hero of myth and saga, society's darling. Here is this rugged doer of deeds, the rough-and-ready "go getter", the one who grabs what he wants without pausing to think... the aggressive stranger, the cowboy, the soldier, the gangster. Contemptuously, he shoves past that quiet guy in the corner, the shy one, the one ridiculed by family and friends as a "wimp", a "mouse", a victim, as perhaps something less than a man.

According to the latest sociological dogma, females are genetically wired to be attracted to "alpha" males, those who are most assertive and aggressive. This seems all too true of some women. Aggressive men seem to get women, to attract women, many women, because of their semblance of strength, the swagger of the domineering male. Yet, what type of women are these? Fragile, unsure of themselves, swayed by instinct, emotionally damaged, running on autopilot . . .

Only a nuance, a subtle shade of difference separates aggressiveness from its less respectable cousin, aggression, the use of force to gain one's ends. With this in mind, understand aggressiveness as a sign of immaturity, of fear . . . of weakness, of blind stupidity. It is the crudest mode of social interaction, the blunt instrument, the bludgeon.

It is the "bull in a china shop" syndrome, a behavior pattern that gets its practitioners typed as boors, thugs, and worse. There is an immediacy about them, a brutal spontaneity, for they recognize no tomorrow. Unfeeling, unbridled, unburdened by remorse, they loot, despoil, and ruin. Behind them, they leave poisoned relationships, broken trust, betrayal, and despair.

from: HOW TO MEET WOMEN

Seduced into Scams: Online Lovers Often Duped

By Bob Sullivan

Richie's picture showed a jolly, bearded man curled up on a couch with a cat rubbing his face. "Loving, caring and hardworking," the online dating profile said.

When Theresa Smalley received a note from Richie last January asking if she wanted to chat, she was flattered. He seemed cute. The two began exchanging e-mails, friendly at first, but quickly swelling in intensity and passion. By Valentine's Day, Smalley received a box of chocolate candy, a teddy bear, and a helium balloon that said "I love you." Smalley, 46, was hooked, even though she had never met him.

Richie said he was from Milford, Mass., but that he was out of the country on a big construction job. He was helping build a stadium in Nigeria, he said. As soon as he returned, he promised, he'd come visit Smalley in Ohio. He couldn't wait, and neither could she.

The spirited e-mail romance hummed along for another two months before there was a problem. Richie said his boss paid him in postal money orders, and he was having trouble cashing them. Could Theresa do a small favor for him? Could she cash the money order for him, then wire the money to him in Nigeria? Smalley agreed, and over the next two weeks, she cashed two $900 money orders and sent along the funds. Then, Richie was ready to leave the country, but needed money to deal with a visa problem. She cashed another money order.

Then, Smalley's bank called her. Something was wrong.

"I had to call a special number at the bank. Even up until that point I still believed him. I had no qualms whatsoever cashing (the money orders)," Smalley said. Even after the bank told her the money orders had been altered — they were purchased for $20, but then "washed" and doctored to read $900 — she still held out hope. But a friend pointed her to an Internet site devoted to Nigerian scams, and suddenly, Smalley's world crashed down around her.

'My whole world had fallen apart'
"The bank told me I was responsible for that money. I had to pay them $2,700, which was everything I had," she said. "I was devastated. I felt like my whole world had fallen apart.

Smalley shared her version of events with MSNBC.com in the hopes that others might not fall for the same trickery.

"Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever known that this is all a part of an elaborate online scam. He spent four months gaining my trust and he did it."

So-called Nigerian scams, where victims are ultimately tricked into sending money to the African country using some irreversible method like a wire transfer, are common. The Secret Service and other U.S. agencies have issued warnings on the scams, also known as "419" or "advance-fee" frauds. But the seductive flavor of this type of the scam — known to some as "sweetheart scams" — and the incredible patience shown by the scammer reveal just how far con artists will go to trick their marks.

Ryan W. of Washington state, who asked that his last name be withheld, says he sent $15,200 to a similarly seductive scammer. And he wasn't even using an online dating service. Ryan was approached while hanging out in a chat room devoted to Grateful Dead fans. His seducer also claimed to be an American out of the country getting paid via money order, and also ultimately asked him to cash them. Five weeks later, when the bank came calling, all $11,000 in Ryan's bank account — most of it from a student loan earmarked for next semester's tuition — was frozen by his bank.

"Typically people go on the Net to get dates. I was just on there trading music," he said. "The thing that duped me was the whole music issue. She seemed to be into the music I was into."

Flowers bought with stolen credit cards
Nigerian-based con artists seem to have seized on sweetheart scams of late, said Dale Miskell, supervisory special agent in charge of an FBI cybercrime squad in Birmingham, Ala. Scam artists post ads to online dating sites and lurk in chat rooms with names like "40 and single," or "Recently dumped." Often, they reach out to a lonely soul with flowers or candy, purchased with a stolen credit card.

"A little gift of flowers or candy is a good aphrodisiac," said Miskell. "The next thing you know, they are in love. I can't tell you the number of women who have fallen for this."

Eventually, the con artists convince their soulmates to do them a big favor — help transfer funds out of the bank.

There have been so many victims that they are starting to find each other online. A new Yahoo group, "RomanceScams," was founded last month by Smalley and Barb Sluppick, who said she almost fell for a similar scam earlier this year. Among the hundreds of messages posted to the group are photographs of alleged scammers, links to potentially fraudulent online dating ads, and copies of come-on e-mails. The group is trying to publicize the problem to limit the damage.

"How many people are out there thinking they found the love of their life and they have no clue what's happening?" Sluppick said. "The first thing most people say to me when they contact me is, 'I can't believe I was so stupid.' "

Sweetheart scams appear to be on the rise, said Julie Ferguson, executive director of the Merchant Risk Council, which tracks scams for online retailers.

"I am definitely getting more calls on this. I used to get one every three months. Now, I get one every couple of weeks or so because it's the easiest way to get somebody hooked," Ferguson said. "The stories are so-gut-wrenching sad."

Some scammers seem to deliberately target groups set up for Christian singles, she said, where people may be less likely to be suspicious. "When you are meeting someone else on a Christian site, you think you are safe."

No dating site is immune from scams, said Jason Tarlowe, who operates MatchDoctor.com, where Smalley met Richie. "This hurts our business. We don't want this," Tarlowe said. "We're trying to do everything possible ... We don't want people to be taken in."

But they are, said Donna Gregory, supervisory internet crime specialist at the FBI's Internet Fraud Complaint Center. She said the con artists are relentless.

"We've even seen them take as long as a year (to seduce a mark)," Gregory said. Con artists will hunt for people's weaknesses, find out what they care about -- such as Grateful Dead music -- and then go in for the kill.

Sometimes, the online suitors don't even ask before sending money orders. They just send them, then guilt their targets into forwarding on the cash, Gregory said. In other cases, the con artists aren't after money -- they are after shipping help. They ask their correspondents to "re-ship" items to locations in Nigeria. The goods are often purchased with stolen credit cards, but the con artists have trouble getting them delivered out of the country, because many U.S. merchants are now wary of shipping to Nigeria. So the criminals need a middle-man.

"They say, 'Oh, once you have them, why not just send them? People say, 'I've got these packages and I don't know why,'" Gregory said.

Sluppick said one confused victim in her Yahoo support group currently has about $50,000 in merchandise that's been sent to her home, and she doesn't know what to do with it.

The Merchant Risk Council's Ferguson said victims can always contact her agency for help returning merchandise to the retailers.

'Keep your money to yourself'
But there is no returning money to consumers who have wired funds overseas, hoping to cement a love bond. Smalley said other would-be victims need to know about the perils of online matchmaking, and they need to listen to the little voices of hesitation and concern inside that she failed to heed.

"So much came back to me after all of this was done," she said. "I sat there thinking about everything. But these guys are professionals. They have the time. They have the patience."

Rhoda Cook has for years operated a Web site named straightshooter.net which maintains a database of sweetheart con artists. She's seen many varieties of romance scams, online and off. There's nothing new about charming men and women swindling would-be lovers, she said.

"When they invented the car, the con artist could drive to the next county. Now they can get on the Internet and go across the world," Cook said. "When you meet someone and you really want someone you just want to believe them."

Her advice to daters is the same, online or off:

"Enjoy the relationship, but keep your money to yourself," she said. "That way, if it goes wrong, all you're going to lose is your heart."

original article here

Cybersex: The Electronic Homewrecker

Think an online rendezvous may involve physically 'safer' sex?
Find out what the consequences can be.
By Ian Mulgrew

The family computer - purchased to help the kids with their education, or to help a stay-at-home partner with his or her small business - is quickly becoming a conduit of temptation for the lonely, the unhappy, the bored and dissatisfied.

Among the estimated 90 million or so North Americans who log on daily, increasing numbers are actively exploring sexuality in ways that were unheard of until now. The workplace, where temptation is just a click away, is a particular hotbed of activity: recent data indicate that 70 per cent of the traffic to sexually explicit sites occurs between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. In fact, 20 per cent of men and 12 per cent of women online in the workplace use the Net for sexual pursuit.

Basically, cybersex is like phone sex: flirtation leading to arousal leading to masturbation. But with way more bells and whistles: there are chat rooms for every type of sexual proclivity, including "married but sinful," and cheap, digital see-you, see-me technology to satisfy the most ardent voyeur. You can do just about everything on the holodeck of online lust that you can do in person - send virtual flowers or a cyber-kiss, commit to each other in an electronic wedding, honeymoon in a cyber-dungeon in front of an e-family. In the works are full-immersion sex suits transmitting sensory information back and forth between or among partners. With new scent-emission technology, the online sexual experience will be heightened even further.

The new technologies have made it easier to find a date, begin an affair and engage in great sex. But what Hollywood has presented as a cute lure for attracting a mate - even Ally McBeal succumbed last year - also has a seamier side. Those who study and treat the survivors of adultery say the Internet is a breeding ground for cyber-infidelity. Online cheating is mentioned in a growing number of divorce cases, and therapists say the nature and scope of marital collapse are caused by virtual infidelity is greatly underestimated.

The powerful draw of online sexual relationships can easily scuttle a relationship drifting toward the shoals, but it also threatens stable marriages and people with no history of dysfunction. Women appear to be at the greatest risk because they've found a private, anonymous and safe place to look for company in the new millennium. They're trying all kinds of sexual behaviour that they would never engage in off-line. And those who find themselves online for more than 11 hours a week (the putative threshold for addiction) may face even greater risks than men do. Data suggest they are more likely to progress toward consummating the cyber-affair with an old-fashioned, off-line rendezvous.

Online romances can also lead to cybersex addiction. At first, only one or two people in a hundred were thought to be at risk, says Dr. Kimberly Young, founder of the Center for Online Addiction (www.netaddiction.com) in Bradford, Pa. But, she says, the most recent studies indicate a much higher figure: eight to 10 per cent, or maybe even more. "Whether or not this is a big phenomenon, whether or not there are hundreds of thousands of people involved and it's ruining lives - there's no question about that," says Dr. Alvin Cooper of Stanford University, Ca., who led the research team on the Net study. "We suspect that those numbers will only increase over time."

Dr. Jennifer Schneider, a physician and researcher based in Tucson, Ariz., recently conducted a survey among the partners of cybersex addicts. "I asked about what's the big deal with online sex - each person is sitting masturbating, talking online. Almost all the respondents to my survey said that's as much cheating as if they are having physical sex.
 

To women, at least, it's not the physical sex that matters, it's this relationship thing. It's the intimacy, spending time with somebody else. It isn't about sex, it's about the betrayal of intimacy."

The specialists say anyone contemplating a cyber-affair should remember that it can be much harder to survive than a conventional affair because it reaches into the home, perhaps even into the bedroom itself-while the partner lies sleeping.

HOW THEY GET SO GOOD AT MANIPULATION

In light of the fact that EOPC considers most cyberpaths narcissistic and/or sociopathic regarding their exploitation of others via the internet, the following may be helpful to victims and those wishing to avoid being victims - EOPC:
It's a known fact that narcissists and psychopaths have amazing powers to sucker and manipulate people. Your typical street con artist is a good example. Authorities warn us not to laugh at the victim and think that we ourselves would never be stupid enough to fall for a con artist's scheme. Indeed, people en masse often fall for one to elect that guy President for Life. Psychopaths routinely sucker even their therapists. Even while still teenagers, they are expert enough at manipulation to do so.

When you are outside the con job's sphere of influence, you see clearly. You wonder what the heck the conned person is thinking. To you it couldn't be more obvious that this is a con job - the warning sirens are blaring. But the mark is oblivious. You wonder what "got into" him or her. (I love that phrase.) They seem under a spell. You see them doing things like automatons, remotely controlled by the manipulator. All he need do is drop hints to control through the mere power of suggestion and - BOOM - the conned person is thinking or doing exactly what the manipulator wants. The victim might as well be a hand or foot of his.

This is truly spooky. How does it happen?

I studied etymology, and what I learned from the archaic root meanings of words convinced me that the mythology of darkness and magic gradually evolved from a lexicon of language struggling to deal with this seemingly magical power some people have.

But it isn't magic.

The problem is that we have no idea how good at manipulation some people are. They are so good at it, that when we find out how good they are, it blows our mind. How do they get so good at it?

Are these narcissists just brilliant, with astronomical IQs? Well, the more intelligent they are, the more dangerous they are, of course. But, no, they aren't all intelligent. They don't have to be.

It's just a simple matter of "practice makes perfect."

You too would be that good a manipulator if you practiced manipulating people 24-7-365 for a lifetime.

When we interact with others, we are usually trying to communicate. Only rarely are we trying to make an impression instead. Narcissists and psychopaths are always trying to make an impression. They are never trying to communicate. In fact, they block attempts to communicate.

Remember when you were a teenager and met that cool guy or gal? In that situation, we are so busy trying to make a good impression that we do embarrassing things. We are so busy trying to SOUND clever that we say the stupidest things. Our mouths get ahead of our brains.

While we are putting on this star-studded performance, we aren't listening to him or her. We are interested only in the KIND of thing they say and the tone of voice they say it in. Their gestures and body language - we don't miss a beat. We aren't interested in their face, only the expression on it. Why? Because we are studying their continuing reaction to our actions: Ah! a smile! Oh-oh, a frown! OK - there - I got the smile back again. Oh good, s/he stepped closer to me.

See what I'm getting at? When we are operating in this mode, everything we say and do is for effect. We observe the effects and tune our behavior to win the kind of reaction we want. In other words, we are PLAYING that person for the reaction we want. We are trying to manipulate him or her. We are manipulating that smile from him or her. If one thing we say or do doesn't win it, we just try something else and keep trying things till we hit upon what impresses that person as something to smile at. Hence, if we blow it and get a frown instead, in our haste to transform it to a smile we can contradict ourselves in two seconds flat.

We are not being ourselves when we do this. We are quite literally being someone else. We are putting on an act. Our true character doesn't come through, because we are acting out the part of an idealized version of ourselves, an impressive idealized version of ourselves, a purely fictitious character. All because our aim isn't to communicate - it's simply to make an impression.

We can laugh about this rite of passage into sexual adulthood now. It's so awkward. We prefer the company of people we can be ourselves with. But even in adulthood people occasionally go into this mode. In a job interview, for example. Or when meeting a famous or important person.

We never get good at manipulating people though, because we seldom get into this mode where we try to.

Now imagine if you were in this mode all the time with everyone your whole life. That's a lot of practice. Through sheer trial and error, you will become an expert at what produces a smile in another person, or a frown or a look of fear or dejection or shame or anger or whatever you want. You will become an expert at what makes them get mad at some third party you are talking about. You will become an expert at what pushes people's buttons to do a whole list of things you want in various situations. You will be an expert at controlling people this way.

straight from the blog of one of our Exposed Cyberpaths!:

"I have 30 years in marketing...

"I already twist facts for a living."

That's what narcissists are, psychopaths are - experts, because they are in this mode all the time with everyone their whole life. Is it even possible for them to cut it out? I doubt it. They don't even know what normal human interaction is. They are always just trying to make an impression. They are never trying to communicate. They block communication. They don't want you to know them. The real them, that is. It's their deepest, darkest secret.

Being in this mode explains why they contradict themselves so fast and furiously when you lock horns with them. Why they are a nervous blur and never hear what you say. Why they don't later recognize your face or remember your name. They aren't paying attention to any of that in a conversation. What you are saying and what they are saying gets tuned out because it doesn't matter to them. Neither does the matter you are discussing. They will say the sky is purple if they think it will draw the reaction from you that they want.

That's a lifetime of 24-7-365 practice at conning and manipulation. Practice makes perfect. So, never, never, never underestimate their powers of con artistry and manipulation. They can and will fool ANYONE.

original article here

Another Online "Love" Connection Turns Ugly

By NBC10 Investigators

View more videos at: http://nbcphiladelphia.com.

Kristy Gaffney says she thought she’d found love when she met a man online. Now the Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania woman claims she’s in the battle of her life – fighting for the child they had.

“I thought like he was Mr. Perfect, ha, ha,” Gaffney told NBC10 Investigator Harry Hairston. “There’s no words for it. I’m just so angry at him.”

Gaffney says she met a man who told her he was Ed while surfing a popular dating website. The single mother, who is 29, says at first she was standoffish, but eventually warmed up to meeting him at a public place. Gaffney says that first date was at a restaurant just outside of Philadelphia and it led to many more dates and an intimate relationship.

Gaffney says her new love interest told her he was a businessman, divorced, worked for the C.I.A. and was related to one of the most well-known, wealthiest families in the country.

“He said, ‘My last name is Dupont,’ and I’m like, okay. And I said, ‘related to the Duponts?’ And he said, ‘Yes.’” Gaffney says eventually Ed started talking about wedding bells. “He also was talking about having kids. He said he never could have kids because him and his wife, she couldn’t get pregnant,” Gaffney says.

As their relationship continued, Gaffney got pregnant. She says at first Ed demanded she get an abortion and then changed his mind. After the baby was born, Gaffney says Ed asked her to sign some papers that would ensure he could claim his rights as the baby’s father. Gaffney says although she didn’t understand the paperwork, she signed it anyway and the two shared caring for the baby while Ed rehabbed his home so they could all live together as a family.

One day, Ed didn’t return their child as planned. Instead, Gaffney says he dropped this bombshell:

“That’s when he told me that the paperwork I actually signed was me giving up the rights, not to him to have his rights. It was me giving up my rights so his wife could adopt my baby, and I said, ‘Are you kidding me?’”

As it turned out, Ed wasn’t Ed Dupont. He was Emmitt Dippold, who was still married and he and his wife were in the final stages of adopting the baby.

“I couldn’t even believe that someone was capable of something like that,” Gaffney says. She took Dippold and his wife to court to get the adoption overturned.

We reached out to Dippold at his office and his home for his side of the story, but were not able to speak with him. In court documents, Dippold denied that he ever claimed to be a Dupont and says Gaffney may have assumed that because his email reads ‘ew-dupont.’ Dippold denied that he ever wanted Gaffney to have an abortion and denied that he ever talk about marriage. He said Gaffney should have known all along that he was married because pictures of he and his wife were in plain view the times he and Gaffney were in his home together.

In the end, the Judge believed Gaffney and overturned the adoption based on fraud. But the fight isn’t over because the Dippolds filed an appeal. Dippold’s attorney declined comment for our story, saying it’s inappropriate to talk about pending custody and adoption matters.

original article here

Cyberbullying: Ain't Just Kid Stuff!

The "new mail" sound pinged and I clicked. "I would love to watch you get punched senseless. ... You are a (expletive) failure, a typical New York failure. If I ever find any of your written nonsense on MSN or Yahoo, it will probably get ugly."

The "in-real-life" bullying I endured in middle school was so bad that I used to come home in tears, wishing that I wouldn't wake up the next morning. And yet, here I am, more than a decade and a half later, dealing with a far more virulent strain: cyberbullying.

E-mails, comments, Facebook, Twitter. If there's a way to reach people electronically, there's a way to make them cry.

My haters love to focus on my physical appearance. I have body parts I didn't even know could be called hideous - "sausage fingers" and "elephant knees," for example. But it doesn't stop there. One commenter wrote: "Julia, you are a despicable person. Ugly inside and out, with ZERO redeeming qualities. ... (D)espite your best efforts to scrub it all and land a husband ... which will NEVER happen, btw."

This represents just a fraction of the hate that has been thrown my way - as well as in the direction of my friends, family, boyfriends and employers. Why? As a columnist and as a social media user, haters feel I am fair game. They do it because they can. Because I "asked for it" by sharing anything at all.

We live in a world of more than 600 million Facebook accounts, 160 million blogs, 190 million Twitter accounts. Are we all "asking" to be cyberbullied?

The White House convened its Conference on Bullying Prevention on March 10 and launched StopBullying.gov.

"This isn't an issue that makes headlines every day, but it affects every single young person in our country," President Obama told the conference.

I would amend that statement: Cyberbullying affects all people, not just the young.

Bullying spans generations: 45-year-old bullies raise children who become 13-year-old bullies who grow up to be 28-year-old bullies. And here's my "controversial" proposition: Kids aren't the only ones who should be protected from them.

Until we agree that cyberbullying is an absolutely unacceptable way to treat other people, the cycle of harassment will continue.

The government's new website defines bullying as when someone uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker. Online dynamics are such, however, that a handful of haters can become a mob and target anyone, regardless of age, economic status or "real-world" power.

"It goes beyond name-calling," said 37-year-old A.B., a veteran blogger who has experienced the devastating effects of motivated online bullies. The hate wormed its way insidiously into her life. She posted, "What would make you stop?" Her bullies' response: "Die."

"People are like, 'Oh, don't read it,' but how can you not stand up for yourself?"

Especially when no one else is.

One of my readers, Sara, described encountering nasty comments about herself online. "It KILLED me. I was devastated. I felt it physically; I could literally feel the blood drain from my body every time I found a new one."

Following someone around on the street while screaming insults at them would be considered at the least, crazy - and at the most, criminal harassment. So why is it accepted online?

"All of us have an obligation to think about how we're treating other people," Obama said at an MTV forum in late 2010. "What we may think is funny or cute may end up being powerfully hurtful."

We must go further. Internet companies have long brushed aside complaints about often-anonymous users who engage in personal attacks. "Not our problem," seems to be their prevailing sentiment. Individuals cower behind anonymity, and because it can be difficult, time-consuming and costly to discover true identities, they remain de-facto exempt from libel and defamation laws.

Our government should step up and enact protections for citizens of all ages. A cyber police force doesn't sound like such a bad idea.

We can't force people to like someone, but we can and should ensure that they don't hurt others.

Julia Allison is a columnist, TV personality, public speaker and former Wired cover girl. Visit SocialStudiesColumn.com

original article here

Beatty Chadwick: Still Trolling for Love

by Monica Yant Kinney

The online dating world is full of wishful thinking, baggage-hiding, and artfully chosen photos that defy reality and gravity. All laptop romantics fib a little, hoping the truth won't matter once they've made an electronic love connection with another lonely liar.

But even by today's standards, the Match.com post by an infamous former Main Liner is a stretch.

The half-dozen pictures show a balding gent resembling Mr. Burns from The Simpsons, but the profile lists his age at an inconceivable 54.

He's a Gemini who digs dogs and devours the Economist, a lawyer who earns $150,000 a year. He's "athletic and toned" and seeks a "slender" younger gal interested in summering on a lake in Michigan with a cultured sugar daddy.

"I subscribe to the orchestra, ballet, opera, and theater."

Gee, I tell beattychad when I reach him by phone Monday at his place in Wilmington, you sound like a real catch. But, uh, is any of this version of you true?

Heh heh heh, H. Beatty Chadwick laughs nervously like his animated doppleganger. "What one says online is not always the fact."

A numbers game
If you want the facts, go to a file room at the Schnader Harrison law firm, where 76 boxes marked Chadwick are stacked floor to ceiling.

Surely you remember the basics: Beatty Chadwick, a corporate lawyer with blue blood and a stubborn streak, was accused of hiding $2.5 million from his then-wife, Bobbie, rather than turn it over in one of the Main Line's most salacious divorces.

In court in 1993, Chadwick said he transferred most of the couple's assets to Gibraltar, of all places, to satisfy a murky debt. Bobbie Chadwick's lawyer, Albert Momjian, contended that the alleged "debt" was a fraud; Beatty Chadwick had hidden the funds around the world so his ex wouldn't see a cent.

A judge agreed and ordered Chadwick to return the money. He refused, was held in contempt, and was arrested in 1995. For reasons only Beatty Chadwick knows, he then chose to spend 14 years behind bars in Delaware County rather than give in to his former flame.

Chadwick was finally released in 2009 when a judge determined that the epic incarceration had lost its "coercive" effect.

The man who had served the longest contempt term in U.S. history was finally free. And where better to start over than on the Internet?

Who's your sugar daddy?
"Yes, it is I," Chadwick says with a chuckle when I ask if he's beattychad. "I am testing the waters. I haven't met anyone yet."

Beattychad is a highly paid lawyer, but Beatty Chadwick is not. His license was suspended. He tells me he's working in real estate development, but is vague on his income: "I don't know why [the dating profile he created] would say I was making a lot of money."

Chadwick is 74, not 54. Of this deception he jokes, "I didn't count the years I spent in jail."

Beattychad has been on the prowl for a month, much to the horror of the former Mrs. Chadwick.

"Unbelievable!" Barbara "Bobbie" Applegate shrieks upon hearing about her ex's online role-playing when reached at her new home in Maine. "He's sick. He's crazy. He's always been a person who didn't have to live by the rules."

Sitting behind his desk, Momjian the lawyer smiles and asks for a copy of Chadwick's online persona. The divorce was finalized long ago, but the financial case drags on.

"We've had him back in court since his release," Momjian tells me. "We've asked for his tax returns. He's still not cooperating."

Momjian seems particularly intrigued by Chadwick's luring women with the promise of pricey European vacations and wine tasting.

"I would imagine that $2.5 million grew, wherever it was," the lawyer surmises. Whether the stolen funds doubled or tripled, "we're going to get that money."

If not, there's always Plan B: "I'd do anything to get him back in jail."

original article here

November 2010 Predator of the Month: Beatrice Acevedo

[EOPC's comments in dark blue]

Another cautionary tale of the misuse of social networking by predators. Both male and FEMALE. In this case the latter.

An app(lication) on Facebook asks those looking for love (indicated on one's Facebook profile) asks: "are you interested". You the click on pictures.
If there is a match then parties move forward from there.

Here's Beatrice's first "solicitous" message to her victim:

Beatrice Acevedo
Add as Friend

I saw you on "Are You Interested" (http://apps.facebook.com/yesnomaybe/?f=m) and wanted to say hi!

This victim then added her as a friend and exchanged light hearted messages.

Then, right after she had called me "my love" (in French) in a previous message she wrote:

(caution! she's moving too fast and they never even met in person. These are red flags this victim won't ignore the next time!)

Beatrice Acevedo June 17, 2008 at 5:35pm
Hi XXX. You have no idea How happy I was to read your message and what a message it was. it almost felt like a letter. We already have another thing in common, we like talking. That sounds nice.

Today I stayed home since I was feeling under the weather but you put a smile on my face. Tomorrow I am home too sinced my younger son MXXX (we call him MXXX) is graduating from Kindergaarten. I had better take tissues just in case I have something in my eye... you know what I mean. It was so moving when JXXX (10) graduated, especially when the kids sang "you are my sunshine"to their mom and brought you a rose! MXXX is 5.

They're my little men, always there for me . They give me a lot of amore and joy. We have a lot fun together. They are as goofy as heir mom. I love joking and a little nuts sometimes. I believe a good sense of humor helps you go through any stress or problems more smoothly.

I work with my best friends so we work hard but have fun. The atmosphere is laid back. No uniforms & IPod welcome at the front desk. We're all goofballs who entertain the guests. I have lots of regulars. We make it very homey. My boss is a nutcase who is freaking out when something goes wrong but I pay no mind to him anymore. Actually I can imitate him very well (one of my talents). We were busy during the weekend but once again we are all the time. Excellent year for business. Xmas bonus should be great!

You seem very busy yourself with your ob. Interesting how you got your inspiration! The other day I had a George Michael checking in with his wife but that was a regular Joe who happens to have that name! Now as far as my private life story is concerned my story is complicated. To summarize it my sons are from 2 different fathers. I married JXXX's father at the age of 26 and left him after 2 years of hell since he was abusive. JXXX was a baby and does not remember him. I told him the story though. I believe honesty is important with kids. I lived with XXX for 2 years just the two of us.

One day I met a man witth his ddaughter at the playground. We tallked and he seemed perfect for me since he was divorced with a child. I'll be honest with you since I like you. In the six years we haived togher we got separated twice which was my decision. He is an alcoholic and I can't live this way. The last time we came back together he begged me and promised he would stop. of course he still does it, not so bad but that is enough to upset me. I am not happy with him and lost all the love I had. It's a question of time before I break up for good . I would love to keep talking to you and get to know you better but I'll understand ifr you don't want nything do with me after what I told you. I really like you so I hope you're not upset. Just in case, my cell is XXX XXXX. I am always alone in the evening.

Tanti bacci per te. The little devil in the blue dress.
Sent via Facebook Mobile

Her newest victim thought then she was upfront and honest and did call her. Notice how she'd thrown out the Female Predator 'Pity Ploy' along with the 'I've been abused' Ploy and the 'I Love My Kids/ Good Mother' Ploy. Unfortunately we never know if the person is telling the truth... and if we assume they are without checking on them - we can be used.

More as the month goes on...

How To Seduce Women Online

Excerpted from just ONE of hundreds of sites that tells Potential Internet Predators HOW TO DO IT!! (try not to throw up!) - EOPC

"When it comes to seducing women online, there are some different strategies that every guy must take not only to get her to fork up the nickname but also to get her to come to your place, or even a date.

"There are tons of dating sites to meet women online so we wont even get into that. If you really were born in the stone age and don't know, you shouldn't be online. Every single one is a potential f*ck mate. I was walking in the mall with a friend of mine while I was in Atlanta, GA last May and I found it so interesting, just noticing how most of the women we see walking by and encounter as we go, seem to be "looking", flirting for the next potential guy to get with.

"Don't forget, even if she's with someone, she still longs for SOMETHING. We all long for SOMETHING.There is something she need and want that she's not getting. YOU must be that person to give it to her, or at least make her believe its ultimately possible. Its so amazing when you can just think, and imagine the very real potential that any one of those broads can be in laying in your bed tonight! Powerful! This is how you have to think when you talk to women, even on the phone.

Telephone disadvantages: For one, you don't know if shes a fat, ugly pig that just has a sexy voice. Some of the sexiest voices I ever heard are from some of those chunky over-weight women, who by the way, are just itching to get laid. So be careful. You might think your game and strategy is what hooked her but if shes as big as a cow, she was easy anyway.

The second disadvantage is you might end up captivating and hooking an ugly duckling. This one has the same insecurities as the fat pig, although she might not be as desperate. From what I have seen, guys are more likely to forgive overlook an ugly face, provided the body is easy on the eyes. And thirdly, most of the tricks, like touching, implanted thoughts, mirroring, piercing eye contact is reduced to zero, although you can use these later when you meet together.

Online seduction: is much like telephone seduction. The difference is, you have to be skillful at writing so that the words she reads gives her the same deep intense feeling she would get from hearing your voice. Luckily, the words you inject in your sentences are the same ones you would use for your telephone seduction.

Phrases like:
intense feeling,
deep inside,
highest peak,
come inside,
more and more,
warm all over,
talk together,
really look forward to,
feel loved,
get excited,
excitement and anticipation,
see yourself,
so sexual,
desires you feel

...are phrases you MUST add to your argument so as to get their juices flowing. They have to be able to see and hear and feel what you are saying while they're reading it. So for instance if you're describing how good a massage feels, you would begin to describe the scenery.... laying on the beach in south florida, the cool gentle breeze lightly ruffling your sexy silky hair. You can see the sun as it disappears behind the ocean. Imagine how good that feels NOW as you begin think about it.... as the warm oil touches your welcoming body think of how its warm slitherly feel just massages you and penetrates and relaxes you deep inside etc etc.

Now how do you tell if shes a fat pig or an ugly duckling? If you met her online, the obvious answer is to ask for a picture, however, keep in mind that she might ask for yours too. So if you're not the best looking guy in the world you might want to keep this in mind. You might not have to be concerned too much if you have already conquered her mind and showed her your value. If she believes you're the best thing that came along since slice bread, it wont matter how ugly you are.

What I recommend is to delve into her insecurities by your questions so as to determine if one of those is her weight or her looks. You might ask her questions like "so when you go to the beach (presup) do you find that its very exciting or is it kinda boring?" That way, if she says she hates going to the beach, you know she's fat and/or ugly and is ashamed of showing anyone her body. To be absolutely sure you might also make a joke about her in the bathroom. Pre-suppose that shes hot and sexy and also that shes cocky and conceited about it. (All you're doing is using reverse psychology). So how do you do it? You say to her "Hmmmm you're probably so conceited (jokingly) I can just imagine you coming out of the shower, and standing in front of the mirror saying (imitate a woman's voice) "Damn I look good! Look at my butt, I'm gonna make those guys drool tonight". If her response is to laugh it off and say shes not conceited, she will tell you how she looks, just to defend herself.

If she's fat and ugly she will do the same thing but do it in a serious way, or even try to get you to not get your hopes up high. She might even try to change the subject. If you even get a hunch that shes fat, she probably is. At that point I just ask her outright and get measurements.

She Tricks You: So you arrange to meet this PREY at say, Barnes & Noble, the mall or wherever. You're expecting to see a nice, sexy petite eye-candy type you can feast your eyes on, and guess what - she tricked you. She shows up on time, all 250 pounds of her, wobbling and smiling as if to say, here I am baby....TAKE ME NOW! What do you do? Dont run away like a distraught little girl who was just told shes ugly. You're a gentleman, go out and meet with her. After saying your hello's this is what you say to her: "You lied to me about your weight, that means you're a liar. If you're a liar that means you're also a thief. I cant be with someone who is a liar and a thief!" Then turn, get into your car and drive the hell away from her. If the issue is that shes an ugly ducklin, you have to prepare your exit a bit different. If you were to meet at say 6pm, call your buddy and ask him to call you at like 6:30pm. That way if she's unbearably too ugly to look at you can just tell her "I have an emergency, I have to go!"

See ya! :) Happy seducing guys.

from: http://www.seducenow.com/telephone_love.html

(THIS IS GENTLEMANLY? THIS IS HONESTY? THIS IS SOMEONE WHO WANTS A REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH A REAL PERSON? DON'T THINK SO! it's SICK SICK SICK! and By the way, FEMALE Online Predators do this same stuff!! - EOPC)

CALL FOR INFORMATION: NATHAN ERNEST BURL THOMAS, JR. - ON THE RUN!

(as 2007 draws to a close our next few posts will be about some highlights from this year and our 'close encounters' with cyberpaths. Mr. Thomas, below, has not been caught as other victims seem to be believing & protecting him. If you know his whereabouts - contact us as law enforcement is looking for him)

POSSIBLE BIGAMIST/ CON MAN ON THE RUN!!
A CALL FOR INFORMATION!

Nathan Ernest Burl Thomas Jr.
Male, African-American
Age : 53
Occupation : Retired Military (he may tell you he's CIA or Special Ops) and now does sales for a company called Ecoquest
Where he might be : Germany or Illinois or Texas USA or British Columbia or Quebec Canada
Business Website (WITH HIS PICTURE!) CLICK HERE
Work # : ( 210 ) 380 - 1684

Some of his online nicknames:
Grizzlybear90604
Suntzu7734
Bear
DZSO
T_bear1952

Some of his possible email addresses: He has been cleaning his online activities and has already closed some email addresses he used to communicate to one of his “wives” and other targets:
Jandt4ever1960@aol.com
grizzlybear90604@aol.com
grizzlybear90604@yahoo.com
suntzu7734@aol.com
t_bear1952@hotmail.com

Nathan Thomas, former Chief of Housing at the 6th ASG in Germany, is one of the biggest psychos and a criminal WHO MAY HAVE COMMITTED BIGAMY

Nathan Ernest Burl Thomas Jr, aka Nathan E B Thomas Jr., date of birth 03-DEC-1952, born in Arkansas, uses the online dating sites, pen pal sites, etc. to find vulnerable women!

His MODUS OPERANDI is always the same:
He tells his targets he is a widower from a Puerto Rican woman called Felicia, who passed away of cancer some years ago - (we sell fake Kleenex for all those who have cried hearing this fake story) – and he will fake a strong sadness for this imaginary woman.

After some time, probably after meeting the target, he loves bomb his “woman target” and starts a torrid relationship. He flies to the “victim's” country or pays for his victims to fly to meet him as well. It’s a perfect romance copied from the best love story out there.

He acts like a gentleman, fakes ethics & religiousness, helps old ladies on the street, loves children, gives money to beggars!!!

You will NEVER see his "house" - he will always stay in a hotel with you.

As if that weren’t enough, Nathan Thomas also implies he is a CIA operative, and Special Ops. He will say he is a paratrooper who trains "his men" for missions to Afghanistan, Iraq, etc. This is completely false. The CIA has never heard of him.
Spends a lot of money, used to drive a BMW 850 while in Germany and always stays at Hotel suites.

He offers women expensive gifts, generally gives laptops (KEYLOGGED!!! so he can track your every move!).

This LIAR, CHEATER and SEX ADDICT, GOT MARRIED to a woman in Canada, WHILE BEING STILL MARRIED to Mrs. Georgine Thomas with whom he supposedly lives, in Texas.

There’s also a STRONG CHANCE THERE’S ANOTHER WIFE, called Marion, living in Germany, with whom he has two kids – Alina and Nathan.

He has other adult children, one of them Cindy who may be living in Texas and at least two grandsons in Germany.

This man's imagination is better than a Tom Clancy political thriller - but also PURE FICTION. He calls himself THE BLACK RIDER in his stories and he fantasizes about being a hero by cutting & pasting news stories about Al Queda to unsuspecting targets. He justifies his long absences by saying he's on "CIA special operations", or he is "deployed in Iraq." To some targets, he also says he is in Afhganistan.

The truth is that he goes from one wife/family or girlfriend to another. Georgine thinks he goes away on business for his company when he goes to stay with another wife. When he goes back to Georgine, the other wife thinks he is back in Iraq, and so on… or on a "secret mission"...

He takes explicit photos and makes porn videos with his targets, as well as asking some of his wives/ girlfriends to take sexual pictures & videos - saying they are personal, just for him (LOL) - that are probably sold by him to porn websites.

There are reasons to believe his brothers may be his accomplices, and also someone in Germany – he communicates with at least one woman named Isabel in Europe. What their relationship is, is anyone's guess.

He appears to be a SERIAL CON MAN WITH WIVES, GIRLFRIENDS AND POSSIBLE CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES IN MANY COUNTRIES.

It’s also likely he has already been deported from some country in Europe while he was active military.

He has a company “Thomas Special Services, LLC” at:
591417 Encino Park
San Antonio, TX 78259,
which appears to be a cover of possible his criminal activity.
He also does business with Ecoquest International.

Nathan Thomas IS NOT A CIA operative. He is just a retired military and was the Chief of Housing in the 6th ASG during 2002/2004 and also dealt with private rentals in Southern Gemany. He current given address is San Antonio, TEXAS! (see above)

If anyone has any information about this man, PLEASE COME FORWARD and help stop his predatory and criminal activities.

Thomas is aware that people are on to him and has been frantically cleaning his online activities, erasing things and has already closed some email addresses he used to communicate with his “wives” and other targets. These may not work:
Jandt4ever1960@aol.com
grizzlybear90604@aol.com
grizzlybear90604@yahoo.com
suntzu7734@aol.com

He uses several nicknames like The Black Rider, Grizzlybear, Suntzu, DSZO, Bear, "T" or T_Bear (they may have slight variations as well)

IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION WRITE TO US and it will be passed along to law enforcement.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON.