Tuesday, March 28, 2006


Man in midst of divorce wants eHarmony to let him join

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A California man in the process of getting a divorce said on Monday he was suing a popular online dating service that barred him from joining until his marriage is officially over.
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John Claassen, a 36-year-old lawyer, said he was ready to resume dating but maintains that Pasadena, California-based agency eHarmony is violating his civil rights by not letting him use its service before his divorce is official.

The Oakland, California-based lawyer said he is asking a state judge to end eHarmony's policy of only admitting unmarried people to its dating service.

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"There are a lot of people out there in my situation who would like to move on but under these policies can't," Claassen said.

The company, which advertises it is "dedicated to helping serious singles build lasting relationships," did not return calls for comment.

Claassen said his lawsuit is based on a state law requiring businesses to disregard a person's marital status in the provision of services.

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Sunday, March 19, 2006


(As a woman, readers, this lady disgusts me... she's nothing more than a predator and a liar... And female cyberpaths use the same techniques as male cyberpaths online. More on this story as the case continues! - Fighter)



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Here's a couple news stories on this con woman, alleged bigamist and online predator:

PITTSBURGH (AP) - A woman accused of marrying two other men while still married to a western Pennsylvania man has been charged with bigamy, according to state police.

Julia J. Bish, 34, of Hempfield, faced a preliminary hearing Tuesday on two misdemeanor bigamy charges.

Police said she is still married to Randy Bish, whom she married in June 1990 and with whom she has five children, and is also married to a man from Bolivia, N.C. Another brief marriage has been annulled.

Julia Bish did not immediately return a call seeking comment Sunday.

Randy Bish, who contacted state police Trooper Gregg Norton about the matter in June, has since filed for divorce, according to Bish and court documents.

"It was Father's Day," Randy Bish said. "I was using the computer at home. ... I expected to find love letters in there, maybe, but I was shocked."

Instead, he said, he found reservations for hotel honeymoon suites, messages detailing wedding plans and a marriage-license application from Las Vegas.

"Do I still love her? I'd be lying if I said I didn't," Randy Bish said. "But right now, after this mess, that's a very tough question to answer."


GARY TUCHMAN, CNN NATIONAL CORRESPONDENT (voice-over): Staff Sergeant Mark Hunt had been alone for many years when he met a woman in an Internet chat room.

STAFF SGT. MARK HUNT, MARRIED ACCUSED BIGAMIST: I started falling in love with her pretty much within a week or so after I started talking to her, that's when I said, she's the one.

TUCHMAN: Sergeant Hunt is based in Missouri's Fort Leonard Wood, a 19-year veteran of the U.S. Army, but not a veteran of a truly loving relationship. That's the major reason he was so happy.

HUNT: She had asked me if I wanted to get married. I said, yes, of course, I do.

TUCHMAN: Mark Hunt and Julia Bish (ph) got married in Las Vegas last February. Sergeant Hunt's parents and brothers and sister were witnesses. The sergeant says plans were made for Julia Bish to move from Pennsylvania so the two could be together, but it didn't happen.

Instead, newlywed Mark Hunt received an e-mail from this man who said he has been married to Julia Bish for 15 years and has five children with her.

HUNT: I about had a coronary heart attack. I about died, but I still was in love with her. I didn't want to believe it.

TUCHMAN: But in December, Julia Bish was arrested on charges of bigamy.

HUNT: It basically destroyed me. I didn't know what to do no more. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't really eat. I started losing weight again.

TUCHMAN: Julia Bish admits she lived a secret life, not only marrying Sergeant Hunt, but another man in Las Vegas in 2002. She claims she did it to make herself safer from husband No. 1.

JULIA BISH, ACCUSED BIGAMIST: I left in a very abusive relationship, and I'm sorry that Mr. Bish is using this to control me. (This is in dispute, Bish may be lying about this to cover her own predatory behavior! If you are escaping dispute - you get married TWICE more? - Fighter)

TUCHMAN: Mr. Bish, who turned his wife in, says abuse allegations are untrue and adds...

RANDY BISH, FIRST HUSBAND: My only comment right now is that my only concern is for the children.

TUCHMAN: Julia Bish's attorney says she is not guilty because of a technicality.

LARRY BURNS, JULIA BISH'S ATTORNEY: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Pennsylvania has no jurisdiction over actions of people out in Las Vegas and they never have.

TUCHMAN: Is that true?

PROF. MICHAEL BROYDE, EMORY UNIV. SCHOOL OF LAW: If you are validly married to a person in Pennsylvania and then you validly marry another in Las Vegas, you have violated the bigamy statute. No question about it.

TUCHMAN: Sergeant Hunt says he hopes to get an annulment by the end of the month. And when he gets married again, not surprisingly, he is adamant that he'll know a lot more about the bride-to-be beforehand.

But despite everything that has happened, he hasn't ruled out that bride could be Julia Bish again, who tells CNN she loves Mark Hunt and wants him back.

Gary Tuchman, CNN, St. Robert, Missouri.

COOPER: The woman at the center of this family secret joins us now from Pittsburgh. Also with her tonight, her attorney Larry Burns.

Thanks very much for being with us, both of you, Julia and Larry. Julia, let me start off with you. Why did you marry two other people while you were still married to your husband in another state?

J. BISH: I was in a very abusive relationship. And for me, I thought it was a way out. Especially...

COOPER: What do you mean you thought it was a way out?

J. BISH: For me, marriage, it was all that I knew. And it was with my husband, Randy, a very controlling situation. And I thought if I married somebody else, that that person would keep me safe. Marriage was something -- it was harder to leave a wife than it is a girlfriend or fiancee.


J. BISH: And I thought if somebody...

COOPER: I understand that, OK, if that was the reason for husband No. 2, Lawrence Judah (ph) in June of 2002, why then a third husband?

J. BISH: Unfortunately, Mr. Judah wasn't able to help me. He had gotten himself tangled up in something and it didn't work out. And I met Mark, and I am very fortunate that I met Mark, because no matter what the situation is, I'm sorry that Mark got tangled up and I'm sorry that Mark got hurt. I wish I could change that, out of anything I wish I could change that.

COOPER: But you acknowledge -- this guy, Mark, the husband No. 3, you lied to him. You lied to him. You went through a whole wedding. All that was a lie, right?

J. BISH: Right. But I intended to be with Mark. And Mark, and also his family have been absolutely wonderful.

COOPER: Did you tell husband No. 2, Lawrence Judah, that you were married also?

J. BISH: After the fact.

COOPER: OK. So you lied to him, too.

J. BISH: Yes. I would have done anything to try to be safe, to get out of the situation and find myself in a better situation, one that I was safe in.

COOPER: Right. Just so -- we'd like to cover all the angles and all the bases, we talked to husband No. 1 who denies that it was a controlling or abusive relationship. We gave him the chance to talk tonight. He didn't want to. But he said that -- in fact, what he said about the controlling thing -- he said, would a controlling man allow his wife to go to Las Vegas by herself? That was his response. But I...

J. BISH: There's a great deal more to that.

COOPER: ... don't really want to get into sort of the nature of your relationship. I guess -- I mean, did you have any bad feelings about lying to two people who seemed to love you?

J. BISH: At the time, my focus was to get out. I didn't even really think about so much of what was going to happen other than I could get out. And I had planned to be with Mark.

COOPER: Let me ask you, Larry, is your defense really going to be "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas," because, I mean, that's a tag line for a commercial?

BURNS: Yes, that's one way of stating it. Pennsylvania doesn't have jurisdiction. The second marriage, or whatever marriage, if it occurred, it occurred in Las Vegas. And that's where the jurisdiction would be. The marriage in Pennsylvania...

COOPER: Yes. But any state recognizes another state.

BURNS: No, that's not necessarily true. If they suspend your driving privileges in the state of Pennsylvania, they don't recognize if you go over to Ohio and get a driving permit...

COOPER: Right. We're not talking about driving. We're talking about marriage. And if someone gets married in one state -- anyway, it's for a court to decide. It's a strange case, to say the least. I'm sure, Larry, it's one of the stranger cases you have been involved with. We appreciate you joining us. And Julia, I appreciate you joining us as well. Thanks very much.

All this week, we're going to be exposing some of the other double lives that millions of Americans are living.

Friday, March 17, 2006

MySpace 'Hookup' Ends in Murder

Authorities Say 22-Year-Old Led Investigators To Woman's Body

BALTIMORE -- Baltimore County police said an Internet date ended in homicide, and they have a suspect in custody.

The body of Josie Phyllis Brown was found off an Interstate 95 exit ramp in Arbutus in February, and by the next day, her alleged date remained in police custody.

WBAL-TV 11 News reporter Tara Mergener reported Brown disappeared last December. Brown, of Baltimore‘s Hampden neighborhood, was reported missing from Baltimore City.

Police said John Christopher Gaumer, 22, told them that he killed the 27-year-old victim while he and Brown were on a date on Dec. 28, 2005.

"They got into an argument. They pulled over on the side of the road, on the ramp, and the argument became physical," Baltimore County police spokesman Bill Toohey said.

According to police, Gaumer admitted to leaving Brown near the highway ramp before he returned and allegedly beat her with a blunt object and threw her down an embankment.

Police said Gaumer led officers to Brown's body Tuesday night.

Authorities said Brown met Gaumer on the Internet Web site MySpace.com. While details of the relationship are unknown, police said Gaumer was a student at the University of Maryland-Baltimore County, where he lived on campus. Police said he has no criminal history.

"We had no problem with John, we had no reference to him on our file as to someone who made a complaint or someone had made a complaint about him," UMBC Police Chief John Cook said.Campus police told 11 News Gaumer withdrew as a student from the university on Wednesday. He remains held in police custody without bail.


Woman Who Plotted Husband's Murder Gets 16 Years

SAN DIEGO -- The wife of a sailor who plotted with her Internet lover in a failed attempt to kill her husband at North Island was sentenced Monday to more than 16 years in federal prison.

Sharon Marie Ball, 30, pleaded guilty last Nov. 22 to attempted murder.

Ball and her lover, Army Sergeant Jason Wayne Cline, 27, admitted that they planned to kill John J. Ball several days before the attack and had purchased a large knife two days prior to the April 5, ambush of last year.

Cline, who was stationed at Fort Hood, Texas, flew from Dallas to Southern California to meet with his co-defendant and carry out the killing, according to prosecutors.

Cline and Ball met over the Internet in 2002 but didn‘t meet face-to-face until he flew to California to kill her husband, according to court documents.

Cline, who served in Iraq, approached the victim, a petty officer second class, and cut him on the face, chin and hands and beat him with his fists.

The assailant was captured hours later on the North Island military base.

Sharon Marie Ball fled in her pickup truck and was arrested later, authorities said.

Defense attorney Michael Berg said his client‘s name was on her husband‘s life insurance policy but she might not have been aware that she was the primary beneficiary.

The judge noted the defendant had forgery and theft convictions at the age of 24, and a misdemeanor bigamy conviction a year later.

Ball was on probation for the bigamy conviction and a bench warrant had been issued for her arrest at the time of the attempt on her husband‘s life.

The judge urged the defendant to use her time in custody to start turning her life around.


Thursday, March 09, 2006


Listen To Your Gut
(It's Trying To Tell You Something Important)

(our comments are in purple - Fighter)

A good friend of mine, who will soon be divorced, is dating again and it seems to be getting serious. Unfortunately, I think the guy is a creep, and I'm going to explain why.

After a very short time seeing her, he asked if she is going to go back to her maiden name. When she asked him why he wanted to know, he replied, "It's your ex husband's name, why would you want it?"

She responded, "It also happens to have been MY name for the last 22 years. If I get remarried again later I'll likely change it, so why go through all the red tape now?"

To me this question/suggestion of his was a big RED FLAG. Why? Because shortly after MY divorce and release from an abusive relationship, I started dating a guy who asked EXACTLY the same question after only one month of dating. He turned out to be a MAJOR control freak but I had the good sense to bail after two months. I have learned a great deal since then about seeing the signs and avoiding assholes. I wish I could say the same for my friend.

Unfortunately, my concern for her doesn't stem from just this one question. There are SOOOO many other things he says that are just "OFF". She is getting gut twinges about him too, but she is ignoring her intuition, rationalizing his behavior, and continuing to see him.

Here are some classic manipulator moves and red flags that he is using:

* He asks what her fears are. I know that this isn't because he is so deeply sensitive and caring - it is so he can find her weak points. He WILL use this information against her at some point. You can count on it. (profiling her!)

* He talks about his kids ALL the time as if he is trying to convince her what an involved and caring parent he is. It's too much and too over-the-top.

* He calls his ex a "bitch", goes on and on about her, including ranting about how she was depressed, crazy, etc. Of course ALL the issues with his marriage breakdown were HER fault.

* When my friend says the slightest thing about HER previous relationship, or her life before he came into it, he disregards her feelings and cuts her off with statements like, "Well, that's over with now.", and changes the subject. It has to be all about HIM.

But the manipulation trump card he plays is "God". You see, we both have deep religious beliefs, and this guy professes that he does as well. There are plenty of wackos in all faith's, and this one uses God as a manipulative tool. He is the type of guy that HIDES behind the Bible, but is ripping at the seams with his controlling personality. I told her
"Just because he claims to be a Christian does NOT mean he was meant for you, or that he is necessarily a NICE person. If his EX wife shamelessly tells you that she referred to him as 'The Dictator', then that is a HUGE sign to bail!" But she wants to believe he will somehow be different with HER. I asked her "How RED does the flag have to be for you to see it?"
Unfortunately for women who come out of abusive relationships, unless we get help, we just get into the SAME thing and the same "type". We need to care about who WE are, or we end up in the never ending emotional bullcrap that we CAN avoid, if only we would make better choices.

It's not like she doesn't have any idea. Her GUT is telling her something and she is ignoring it. And that's the key. Listen to your GUT. BELIEVE IT. And get the hell out when it tells you the situation is screwed up.