IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT

I FEEL SO STUPID -
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN -
I DIDN'T LISTEN TO MY INSTINCTS -
IT'S ALL MY FAULT

Just some of the things the victims of an internet predator say.....


One of our discussion group contributors and a victim themselves - recently wrote the below to a reader who was blaming herself and was chided for her obsession to get to the bottom of what her apparent cyberpath was.

It was so powerful we asked and got permission from this contributor to reprint her response here (edited for clarity). Everyone should read it and heed it.

There's no fault when dealing with a cyberpath. Remember "PREDATORS HUNT THE WOUNDED" - EOPC

THIS CONTRIBUTOR SAYS:
Let's get focused on him - the internet "friend" you say is NOT a cyberpath - because it was with HIM you interacted with and HE'S the cause for all the stress and suffering you are going through nowadays.

It's more than obvious (and I want you to take me seriously) this guy is not so wonderful as you think and say he is. An emotionally stable, honest man, who is looking for a serious relationship or even a friendship over the Internet, will not create a profile on a sex site (such as AdultFriendFinder or Eroticy to name a couple) and won't try to find possible real/ serious partners on a sex site!.

You had a profile there because as you said, your marriage wasn't good. I understand. When we are in emotional pain we can do stupid things. But believe me, even on a seemingly innocent site like PenPalWorld, or reunion sites like Classmates.com and the online dating sites, recovery sites, single parent sites, Facebook, you can find idiots, posers, players, etc. (the predator stories on EOPC will tell you just that!!)

The possibility of finding them on a sex site is higher (sex addicts, narcissists, sociopaths, users and abusers love the Internet and they place themselves on these sites just waiting for the next victim). A sex site can be the ideal place. They will find lots of people to communicate with, to chat occasionally, to have cybersex with and nothing more than that. Casual, no strings. The difference is that on a sex site, they don't need to lie as much as they do on a dating or e-friends site.

This type of man - the one you e-tripped upon - when they feel someone is starting to get emotionally attached to them, they will do everything to get rid of you or drive you crazy. Emails will go unanswered, generally with the excuse they are busy, sick or whatever their imagination can make up. Or they answer emails with short lines like "I don't know what to say/ tell you" or "Thanks" or "we will talk later."

They're either never online on Skype, etc. (they are - they just appear to be offline - blocking those they're not interested to chat with). Or they are there - putting on their AWAY or BUSY messages or just plain IGNORING you & PURPOSELY HURTING you by putting these messages up. (usually busy with other women!)

They make it all your fault!

They will even tell you they are busy working if you try to IM them anyway. These guys are emotional vampires and mental sadists.


When something like this happens, its clear, they are not really interested in any type of genuine communication. I know by experience (although on a different level) it's time to say "bye bye - have a nice life."

Unfortunately most of the times we can't. We have feelings - they don't. We would not do that to someone and can't understand why they are doing it to us. We blame ourselves for the situation and we wonder over and over, what have we done so wrong, to get such cold treatment. Actually, we did nothing wrong.

However, they've allowed us to put them on such a pedestal that we can't see the real truth. We think they' the best thing in the world, better than sliced bread.

We idealize them and they knowingly allow it without telling us the truth.

So, I know what you feel and empathize with you, but he is not 'a great guy' and it wasn't your fault.

You just didn't know the best way to deal with him. The best would've been ignoring him, but gradually he made himself an obsession to you, always in your mind, a fruit of your desire. Your need for emotional connection made him into something he wasn't and it's not your fault. He could have responded to you and said something but he didn't. He let you dangle there confused... (this is a SEDUCTION method used by cyberpaths remember?)

Keep Them in Suspense: What Comes Next The moment people feel they know what to expect from you, your spell on them is broken. More: you have ceded them power. The only way to lead the seduced along and keep the upper hand is to create suspense, a calculated surprise. People love a mystery, and this is the key to luring them farther into your web. Behave in a way that leaves them wondering, What are you up to?
(from LURES OF THE ONLINE PREDATOR))

You are a sensitive caring person who doesn't just use and drop people when you are done using them - even online. He is.

And here you go blaming yourself. "It was my fault", "I shouldn't have said this and that", "I shouldn't have done what I did", etc... Ok, you sent him some e-mails, even a love letter... All of us victims have done things like that. Maybe because on the chats he was sweet, he called you "Princess", but unfortunately it was just words he didn't mean.

See how he avoided giving you his address? He doesn't want any type of contact with ANYONE except for "discreet sex encounters."

That's not the actions of a nice guy.
This isn't a normal person.
Keep that all in mind.

The e-mail he sent you was 100% bullsh*t. I'd bet money he wasn't going to 'get married.' I also doubt he was 'in love with' someone. Guys who are really "in love" don't go on sex sites looking for a little fun.

He said that to get you out of the way and then to scare you he mentioned he would call the police if he heard from you again. This isn't the behavior of a nice guy. (typical predator move - now the victim is a "stalker" because they want & deserve answers! )

He probably has many friends from the sex site he exchanges e-mails with, many others to chat with, many to have cybersex with -- both he and they: without any emotional attachment. That makes him "busy" and obviously he is not on a sex site for genuine romance.

I'd also bet he was busy with other women online (you know what I mean).

Understand this situation isn't the way you have pictured it in your head: that others are good and you're a bad person for letting it get this far. This isn't true. Don't beat yourself up this way.

A good and nice guy would have interacted with you differently. The e-mail would have been different. He'd have been straight and honest with you. He'd have told you he wants no emotional involvement and just wanted sex. Problem is this guy most probably uses and abuses women. It's obvious. He thinks women are objects.

Notice how that female friend of his told you if you had met him in person, you could see how flawed he was "in heart, mind and body". She gave you the accurate picture.

He is not a nice guy, much less principled. He is another jerk on a sex site! There are thousands like him.
Although you don't think so, it's a good thing you didn't remain friends with him. He would have caused even more damage to you. At any moment he would have revealed his true personality and you'd see the idiot he is -- then you would have been reeling.

I know, I have been there. Study his motives and see how he is an idiot with a oversize ego who thinks women are good for only one thing: Sex.

Sorry but he is a jerk, not you!
Stop blaming yourself!

WHY AN "ONLINE" RELATIONSHIP?

WHY AN INTERNET RELATIONSHIP?

Private investigators get asked this question frequently. In their experience, it seems that the internet is safer and easier to meet people in than the real world is. On line, you can be the person you want to be. Maybe better looking, richer, happier, etc., etc. and it's safe to be that person. Mike, who was a mechanic in the Navy ten years ago in real life becomes Mike the former "Navy Seal" on-line. Michelle, whose college roommate became a model in the real world "does some modeling" when chatting with her friends in cyberspace.

You can type things on the internet that you would never say in the real world. In short, it gives people a place to fill a lagging self-esteem or to compensate for the short comings of their real life. Or to simply prey on others for fun, sexual pleasure or money.

Once you "meet" someone on-line who sounds exciting, sexy and interesting, you spend time learning about them and fantasizing about how they look, how well they relate to you, etc. As the "relationship" goes on, the two get to know each other better and the real world begins to enter the conversations.

Trust develops because this is the person "you relate to" and it builds up as more time goes by. It then gets to the point where they begin to be even more honest, sometimes totally honest, and an internet affair becomes a real relationship or affair outside of cyberspace.

Does it really happen?

Absolutely. Too many of clients consult with P.I.s and state their disbelief that their loved one would be trolling for sex on the internet or having an on-line affair. The reality is that, like affairs at school, work, church, the health club or any other social environment, it usually happens quite innocently and grows.

People go online and get to know one another in this safe internet world and slowly it progresses into cyber sex and or a real life relationship. Do not underestimate this format for people meeting and growing close on the internet. Internet affairs happen daily, in every town across the country.

There are also those who are not looking for a boost in their self esteem or have a relationship, rather they simply want sex with someone they don't know or no-strings-attached. In some cases, cybersex fills this need.

This sub-culture is comprised of men and women who use the computer to meet other people who want commitment free sex. They are attracted to the excitement of the affair. They like to type stories about fantasy and sex. They look for others who share this desire.

It is important not to stereotype these folks. They are not just "strippers" or the "dirty old man" wearing a trench coat. This is your neighbor, the soccer mom, the teller at the bank, your accountant, the person next to you at church, your coworker and potentially your partner.

This group uses the computer the same way those looking for true love do. They visit certain sites (not always dating sites - sometimes divorced persons, pen pal sites, parenting boards, class reunion sites, recovery sites or shared interests), e-mail, chat and instant message.

Net Ensnares Cheaters in Tangled Web

By David Koeppel

Adultery was once kept a secret. Not online.

The Internet dating (search) craze is blazing a trail of broken marriages, thanks to dozens of sites inviting participants to identify themselves as "not so happily married," "married but that shouldn't matter" or even the seemingly archaic, "married but we swing."
Studies show some 30 percent of online dating visitors are married - and recent research by the University of Florida (search) reports that what starts out as flirting and cybersex quickly escalates into the real thing.

The Internet became an easy escape for "Beth," a 43-year-old married New Yorker who dated about 60 men in three years until she met Steve, who's also married -- but now sneaking around with Beth.

"We see each other once or twice a week," she says. "We have a lot in common, have a great time together and the sex is phenomenal."

She says a cold husband sent her surfing for more. "There was no warmth or any physical affection," she says glumly.

She tried cajoling her husband into seeing a marriage counselor, but after only one visit, he refused to return. She didn't want a divorce because of their 10-year-old daughter, so she posted an ad online.

"I'm not interested in jeopardizing my marriage or anyone else's," she said. "I just wanted to find someone special I could click with."

Other women interviewed say they've been searching for deeper emotional relationships than their husbands are able to give -- but aren't ready to leave.

"I guess the sex just isn't what it used to be when we first met," says Nicole, 28, a married New Yorker who's listed her profile online. "I miss the feeling of sex being new and exciting. It's addicting."

Addiction is something that Chris Samuels, the co-director of a sexual addiction treatment center, understands all too well. She has treated many married and unmarried patients who've gotten caught up in Internet lust.

"Its power is almost trance-inducing," she says. "You can troll these sites and have a fantasy ready and waiting. Cybersex can provide a quick and powerful high. It's like crack cocaine to sex addicts."

(IT IS TRANCE INDUCING - STAY AWAY!!!!!!)
 

Alfred, 49, is a self-described Internet Lothario who says he's been "swinging" for 23 years.

Before going online, he would post ads in "swinger magazines," sometimes waiting two to four months to set up a first meeting.

Now his desires can be gratified almost instantly by posting ads on the Internet.

"While I'm open to a relationship, I'd prefer someone I can meet for no-strings mutual sexual pleasure on a continuing basis," he says.

Alfred's new online ads generally attract several interested women ("I'm a seller in a buyer's market," he says proudly).

He usually hooks up with married women, but says there are plenty of singles who don't mind that he's already spoken for.

Unfortunately, while these spouses are sowing their wild oats, there's likely to be someone at home who's getting hurt.
John LaSage, 43, from California, could attest to that -- his wife left him and his two teenage daughters to take off with an Internet boyfriend.

The experience led him to create chatcheaters.com -- a Web site designed to help dissuade potential cheaters and to comfort those who've been hurt by them.

"Chatting is OK, cheating is not," says LaSage.

"People should realize how quickly relationships can form online. Flirting can lead to real-world affairs."

If you suspect your spouse of having an online affair, "Bring the issue out into the open," he says.

"Look out for the warning signs" -- like excessive Internet use, new email accounts, turning off the computer when you walk in the room.
Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington and the relationships expert for online dating site Perfectmatch.com, says married men are much more likely to say they're just looking for sex than married women, but ultimately the search is about loneliness.

"... It's about gratification," she said. "They want someone to find them attractive, someone to want them passionately."

But not every married person who's gone the online route has found the affair of their dreams.

Wayne, a 49-year-old man from New Jersey, complains that his inbox is usually cluttered with undesirable partners and a fair share of transsexuals and cross-dressers.

But that may be just the ticket for 34-year-old "Rockerdude" of New York City, who advertises online that he's hoping to make sweet music with men, women -- and anything in between.

"Yes, I am married, but we have a very liberal, open-minded relationship," he writes.

With additional reporting by Michael Shashoua

INTERNET RAPIST ARRESTED

(GEORGIA, U.S.A.) Clayton County Police believe that there could be more victims of a man they say used the Internet to lure women and raped them.

Police arrested Jalyn Dwight Conner and charged him with multiple charges of rape, armed robbery, aggravated assault, burglary, false imprisonment and aggravated sodomy. Conner, 17, allegedly lured victims into a vacant apartment near his home and raped them.

Police are asking anyone who believe they may have been a victim of the College Park teenager to contact Clayton Police Detective Freeman at (770) 477-3624.

Sgt. Otis Willis said police are not releasing Conner’s photo nor the website he used to meet his alleged victims. “We do not want to reveal his face because there could possibly be more victims and showing his face could hinder our investigation,” said Willis. “We are not revealing which Internet site he used to meet his victims because any information that is presented by the victim needs to be unbiased.” According to warrants issued to Clayton County Police, Conner has denied involvement in the alleged attacks. Police said three women identified him from a photo line-up and items belonging to the alleged victims were found inside Conner’s home.

Willis said one victim was allegedly attacked raped on Aug. 12, during early morning hours, and another victim was allegedly attacked and raped around 6 a.m., on Aug. 23. The sergeant said both rapes took place near the Garden Walk Boulevard area.

Police linked Conner to the crimes after they searched Conner’s apartment and found items belonging to both women and a gun, ammunition as well as a holster, according to the warrant. A woman told police Conner called her that morning and invited her to his gated apartment complex on Riverdale Road in College Park to have sex with him. He allegedly gave her the gate code and told her to meet him at unit J6. Police said Conner lives in the same building but that J6 is vacant.

The woman told police she met Conner about 9:30 a.m. inside the unit, which she said was dark and void of furniture. Once inside, the woman told police, Conner put a gun to her head and said, “You know what this is.” The woman said Conner took her purse and phone and made her undress. She said he zip-tied her hands together and raped her. According to the warrant, Conner told her to stay inside the unit while he took her keys and went to her vehicle. The woman told police Conner stole $100, a camera, Coach bag and two cell phones from her vehicle. While Conner was outside, the woman said she was able to break the zip ties. When Conner returned, she said he got angry and allegedly raped her again. Afterward, he ran in an unknown direction and she drove to a nearby store and called police.

The woman was taken to Southern Regional Medical Center, where she was examined using a rape kit, according to the warrant. Police said a second complaint was made Aug. 23 against Conner, when another woman reported a similar attack in the same unit. Willis said women should take precautions when using any Internet site to meet people.

“If you meet someone over the Internet, it needs to be in a public place, just in case you need to make an outcry for help,” explained Willis. “You should inform a family member or friend where you are going and who you are meeting. Even if they could provide a name, an e-mail address or a phone number for the person they are going to meet.” Clayton County Police Chief Gregory Porter is grateful for all of the Clayton County residents who are assisting police in the Internet rape cases, Willis said.

“He wants them to remember the key to making Clayton County a better place to live is by citizens getting involved in their community,” continued the sergeant. “Our partnership with citizens is based on community-oriented policing.” Conner is being held without bond in the Clayton County Jail. He is due back in court Sept. 7 for bond reconsideration.

original article found here

Online Dating: Don't Believe the Advertising

Online dating services and chat rooms advertise using testimonials of couples that met and married through the Internet. However, recent court cases have shown that predators can lurk behind the photos and the seemingly innocent profiles on the Websites.

(But for every one of those 'happy couples' there can be at least 10-20 horror stories that dating sites want covered up.)

In February 2006, a 25-year-old BYU student attempted to contact a 14-year-old girl, allegedly for sex, and was surprised to learn that the "girl" was an undercover police officer.

Sgt. Mike Brower, a member of the Utah County Sheriff's office who worked on the case, said incidents of rape occurring through online dating contacts are fairly high in Utah County, but wouldn't give any details on the statistics, saying doing so would be more harmful than helpful.

"I can't give you too many specifics," Brower said. "Basically what it does is educate the perpetrators instead of the public."

Brower attributes the county's high chat-room predation levels to its large population of children and good Internet access. Utah is among the top five states for households with computers and Internet access.

Brower said predators are generally, but not limited to, males from 20 to 60 years old and often have a history of viewing pornography or unlawfully contacting people. (Many are sub-criminal psychopaths or narcissists)

On the preventative side, Utah County has formed a task force that surfs the Internet to ensnare predators.

The officers get involved in chat rooms and see if they are contacted by anyone "predisposed to be talking dirty and wanting sex," Lieutenant Jerry Harper said.

Brower said the police force seeks out predators to protect the public before tragedy can strike.

"We want to get perpetrators before they get victims," Brower said. "We do it to protect the community."

To adults involved in chat rooms and online dating services, Lieutenant Douglas Edwards of the Orem Department of Public Safety said to use common sense.

When meeting someone online, common sense guidelines include meeting in public places and not giving out personal information.

"If it were my daughter, I would tell her not to meet someone online," Edwards said.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE FOUND HERE

(kudos to Oneof Seven for this find!)

Posting Woman’s Data on Craigslist Brings Charges

By BILL BRAKSICK

(ILLINOIS, USA) A Sycamore man has been charged with a misdemeanor offense after reportedly posting a woman’s contact information and offers for sex on an Internet website.

Alexander P. Dominguez, 25, of the 700 block of South Main Street, is accused of posting a woman’s name, phone number and workplace information, along with offers of sexual contact, on the classified website Craigslist.

According to court documents, the woman received dozens of phone messages from unknown people propositioning her for sex.

Dominguez is charged with harassment through electronic communications, a Class B misdemeanor punishable by not more than six months in jail.

He appeared for a bond hearing Wednesday at the DeKalb County Courthouse via closed-circuit television from the DeKalb County Jail.

He was released on a $1,500 recognizance bond, which allows a person to be released from jail with no money posted but a signed promise to be present at future court dates.

He is due back in court July 19.


(our exposed cyberpath Dunetz/ Yidwithlid did this to his victims on MySpace. We're told MySpace has documented it and forwarded it to the authorities. Let us know if yours did this too.)


original article here

Men Show Up Wanting Sex After 'Ex Posted Fake Craigslist ads'

By Mark Duell

(U.S.A.) A jilted boyfriend allegedly placed a series of fake adverts on Craigslist that appeared to be from his pregnant ex-girlfriend asking men for sex.

Andre Flom, 31, of Portland, Oregon, put up ads with her number and address - and up to 20 men would arrive at her home for sex, police said.

Postings under the name of Catlin Moser, 29, said ‘hit me up - I’m super horny’ and that she wanted ‘guys to take turns giving it to me good’.

The posts also asked people to remove a Japanese maple tree and a play structure from her garden, reported the Smoking Gun website.

‘He was posting my name, my phone number and my address on Craigslist for really obscene sex parties,’ Ms Moser told Fox affiliate KPTV. I was having men showing up at my house all hours of the night.'

He even allegedly posted the contact details of Ms Moser’s mother, who said she would get around 100 obscene text messages in five minutes. ‘The kinds of things that were being said were pretty obscene,’ the mother told CBS affiliate KVAL. ‘He'd set up times for them to come over.’

CONTENT OF THREE ADS ON CRAIGLIST

'What's up, my name's Catlin and I’m very real, looking for a sexy guy to come give me what I need, hit me up - I'm super horny'

'Having a party tonight at my house: encourage single guys to come through, lots of beer and single women, here is a recent pic of me, my name's Catlin, let's go boys'

'Hey, so I'm at home bored, lookin for a guy, or guys to take turns givin it to me good'

It began in October after Flom was convicted of domestic violence and more than 35 adverts were posted on the listings website, police said. Flom was convicted of strangling Ms Moser, who has a two-year-old son, last autumn and she won a restraining order against him.

One of the ads included her address, saying: ‘I’m very real, looking for a sexy guy to come give me what I need, hit me up - I’m super horny’. Another said she was ‘sitting at home bored’ wanting men to ‘give it to me good’ and was inviting people who ‘want to get a little dirty’.

Investigators subpoenaed Craigslist to give them records that showed nearly all of the fake adverts came from the same network location.

In a twist, investigators traced this to Flom’s next-door neighbour. But it turned out the man had an unsecured wireless router in his house. Police raided Flom’s home on Tuesday and took away a computer, modem and mobile phones, reported the Smoking Gun.

Flom was charged with computer crime and identity theft and is being held in Multnomah County jail in lieu of posting a $30,000 bond.

original article here

CYBER AFFAIRS

Cyber affairs are the ‘flavor of the day’ when it comes to infidelity and extramarital affairs. The internet now ties with the workplace as the leading place for cheaters of both sexes to find willing partners with whom to have extramarital affairs. It has removed most of the risks associated with cheating on your mate.

Gone are the days when a would-be-cheater had to physically leave home to seek out someone with whom to have an affair. Now it can all be done in cyberspace without the risk of running into family members, nosy neighbors, or inquisitive friends and workmates. With a few clicks of the mouse, a potential cheater has instant access to an endless array of willing partners. A cyber affair can be easily initiated and conducted from the privacy of your home, with your unsuspecting spouse or significant other in the same room, oblivious to what is going on.

Is a Cyber Affair Cheating?
Cyber affairs are actually a form of emotional infidelity. Although in the early stages, there’s no sex involved, most emotional infidelity eventually leads to sexual infidelity if left unchecked . But men and women view cyber affairs very differently.

Most men don’t consider cyber affairs as cheating. However women view them quite differently. A survey in Divorce Magazine found that only 46 percent of men considered intense internet relationships to be infidelity, compared to 72 percent of women.


Are Cyber Affairs Serious?
Many people question whether or not cyber affairs should be taken seriously -- especially, if there’s no sex involved. A cyber affair is a VERY serious threat. A cyber affair should be treated as seriously as a sexual affair, because left unchecked, that’s where it will eventually end up.

In the past 10 years, divorce attorneys have reported seeing an increase in divorces and separations resulting from cyber infidelity. According to the Fortino Group, one-third of divorce litigation is caused by online affairs.

It doesn’t take much for a cyber affair to make the transition from cyberspace to the real world. Several studies have found close connections between cyber affairs and subsequent sexual affairs.

• According to statistics, 50% of people who engage in internet chats have made phone contact with someone they chatted with online.

• One study found that 30 % of cyber-affairs escalate from e-mail to telephone calls to personal contact.

• Another study found that 31% of people had an online conversation which eventually led to real-time sex.

So don’t make the mistake of underestimating a cyber affair.

Signs of a Cyber Affair
How can you tell if your partner is having a cyber affair? Telltale signs of a cyber affair include sitting at the computer into the wee hours of the night, heading for the computer first thing in the morning, insisting on privacy when surfing the Net, moving the computer into a a locked office or more private area of the home, constantly changing passwords, and other suspicious behavior.

Regardless of the term you use -- cyber cheating, cyber affairs, online affairs or internet affairs, it’s a variation of emotional infidelity and should never be taken lightly.

A Fool Proof Test
People will often try to justify a cyber affair by calling it a harmless online friendship. If your partner tries to make light of your concern, or accuses you of making a big deal about nothing, there’s one way to find out for sure.

If the internet friendship is as harmless, or as innocent as your partner claims it to be, then he should have no problem with you sitting beside him, observing the exchange of correspondence back and forth. If he’s unwilling to do that, then you have your answer as to whether or not his online friendship is as harmless as he would have you believe. Safeguard your relationship by taking positive action before it’s too late.


FOR MORE CLICK HERE

Craigslist Used to Harass... Again

Strange men showed up at house wanting sex

by Mark Potter

(Florida, U.S.A.) -- A Florida woman faces charges for posting a fake ad online, allegedly to harass her husband's ex-wife.

The ex-wife is Tracy Wilder, a divorced mother of three. She says she knew something was wrong when she began getting phone calls, text messages and visits to her home from men seeking sex.

"I feel violated. I feel our safety was compromised as a family. It's been terrifying," said Wilder. She says the men were responding to an explicit ad in her name on Craigslist-- an ad she insists she never placed.


original article here

Cyber-Harassment Trial Found No Proof of 'Emotional Distress'

Your thoughts, readers? -- EOPC

by Shane Anthony

Jurors who acquitted a St. Peters woman in a cyber-harassment case said prosecutors failed to prove a 17-year-old girl suffered emotional distress when the woman posted her information in a sexually suggestive Craigslist ad.

On Thursday, the jury of seven women and five men found Elizabeth Thrasher, 41, not guilty of felony harassment for making the post after she and the teenager exchanged a series of insults on MySpace. Attorneys said this was the first case to go to trial since the state Legislature passed a cyber-harassment law in 2008 in the wake of Dardenne Prairie teenager Megan Meier's suicide.

Jury foreman John Seifert said Friday that all the jurors believed the state had proven all but one element of its case against Thrasher — that the girl had suffered emotional distress.

"We really felt for her," Seifert said. "She made this claim, but we felt like there wasn't any evidence that supported the claim."

The state was required to prove seven elements of the crime. Juror Christine Cundiff said jurors agreed unanimously that prosecutors proved six. But they didn't believe the girl's testimony was proof enough that she had suffered emotional distress, she said.

"We felt the charge of a felony was extremely serious to send someone to prison when we were not 100 percent guilty on all seven (elements)," Cundiff said.

The spat between Thrasher and the girl erupted on May 1, 2009. Thrasher had a conflict with the girl's mother, who was dating Thrasher's ex-husband.

After the two exchanged insults over MySpace, Thrasher used information from the girl's MySpace account to create a sexually suggestive Craigslist ad under the "Casual Encounters" section. The posting featured the girl's photos, cell phone number, e-mail address and the restaurant where she worked.

The girl testified that after the Craigslist post, she started receiving text messages, pictures and phone calls from men. One came to the restaurant looking for her and was asked to leave by the manager, she said.

The girl said she eventually quit her job. She testified she was afraid of being raped and killed.

Prosecutors also called two police investigators to testify, but jurors said they wanted to hear from someone else who could corroborate the girl's testimony about distress.

"Anybody that could have taken the stand and said this is what I've noticed about the young lady," Seifert said.

St. Charles County Prosecutor Jack Banas said he had not thought other witnesses were needed. (note: Banas was the Prosecutor in the Megan Meier case.)

"We didn't feel it was necessary to go on any further to prove what comes out of her mouth based on the assumption that most people would be distressed to have their personal information put on Craigslist," he said.

Thrasher's attorney, Mike Kielty, said the law is flawed.

"It criminalizes behavior that, but for the medium, wouldn't be criminal."

original article here

Facebook Cited as Reason for Rise of STDS in U.K.

Facebook has been linked to a resurgence of the sexually-transmitted disease syphilis.

The virus has increased fourfold in Sunderland, Durham and Teesside, the areas of Britain where the website is most popular.

Medics believe Facebook and other social networking sites make it easier for strangers to meet multiple partners for casual sexual encounters.

Professor Peter Kelly, director of public health in Teesside, said staff had found a link between the websites and the rise in cases, especially among young women.

‘Syphilis is a devastating disease. Anyone who has unprotected sex with casual partners is at high risk,’ he said.

‘There has been a fourfold increase in the number of syphilis cases detected with more young women being affected.

‘I don't get the names of people affected, just figures, and I saw that several of the people had met sexual partners through these sites.

‘Social networking sites are making it easier for people to meet up for casual sex.

‘There is a rise in syphilis because people are having more sexual partners than 20 years ago and often do not use condoms.’

In Teesside there were 30 recorded cases of syphilis last year, but the true figures are expected to be much higher.

Syphilis cases in Britain fell due to the widespread use of condoms in the 1980s and '90s.

It can cause serious heart, respiratory tract and central nervous system damage.

But Health Protection Agency figures revealed there were 4,000 cases nationwide last year. And in 2008 there were 3,588 diagnosed cases.

The highest rates are in women aged 20 to 24 and men aged 25 to 34.

Research has shown that young people in Sunderland, Durham and Teesside were 25 per cent more likely to log onto social networking sites than those in the rest of Britain.

Studies have shown that adults are more likely to indulge in risky sexual behaviour with partners they meet on the internet.

Facebook denied members typically use the site to set up sexual encounters with strangers.

A spokesman said: 'While we have not had an opportunity to read this research, Facebook is not the place to meet people for casual sex, it is about connecting and sharing with your existing friends.'

original article here

Texas Man Arrested for "Spoofing"

Missouri City Police Department’s arrest of a Stafford man for Internet harassment and “spoofing” was the first of its kind in Texas using a new law that went into effect Sept. 1 of last year. The crime is so new that police had to call Austin to figure out how to get the charge entered into computers because a number had yet to be assigned.

Years ago, Missouri City police were also the first to charge someone with failure to register as a sex offender.

All of the benefits of technology also come with a price – for every new and innovative way discovered to communicate and do business, criminals will find new and innovative ways to use the technology for malicious purposes.

The Texas Legislature passed House Bill 2003 as an effort to keep up with how the Internet and electronic communication have changed the ways people can harass and possibly harm one another.

The new section in the penal code makes “Online Harassment” a crime, and deals with two separate issues.

The first makes it a third degree felony to use someone else’s identity to create a web page or message on a commercial social networking site without that person’s consent and with malicious intent. “Commercial Networking” includes Internet sites such as Facebook, MySpace and Twitter.

The second section deals with what is called “spoofing,” now a Class A Misdemeanor. Spoofing is when someone sends an electronic message, such as an e-mail or an instant message, pretending to be someone else. If the intent of the message was to solicit a response from emergency personnel, it is a third degree felony.

Wesley Wittig, an assistant district attorney with the Fort Bend County District Attorney’s Office, said that prosecuting new crimes does not necessarily present any difficulties, as the law is clear on what constitutes each crime. The difference with new charges is that there is no history of rulings that attorneys can use for research when preparing.

Missouri City police charged 54-year-old Stafford resident John Johnson with Internet Harassment and spoofing earlier this month, after they say he set up a fake dating site account and posed as the victim while instant messaging.

Missouri City police were called by a nervous and scared 35-year-old Missouri City woman who told police she received a phone call from a strange man who told her he had just been to her house, and no one answered the door. He told her he even tried the front door, but it was locked.

She asked the stranger where she lived, and he gave her the correct address. She told him she didn’t know who he was, and he said he had been having Instant Messaging conversations with her on the computer after having met her on the Internet dating site Plenty of Fish. He told her she invited him over.

The victim knew nothing about the man, the site or the alleged conversations.

After investigating, police say Johnson set up a fake account on the dating site, complete with photos of the victim and her correct home address, cell phone number and location of her work. Johnson is the boyfriend of the victim’s boyfriend’s mother, who apparently wanted to end the relationship between her son and the victim.

It is still unclear who was pretending to be the victim during the online conversations.

original article here

Sexual Arrangements

by Aidan Maconachy

(excerpts)
Are you in a loveless marriage? Has the thrill gone out of it? Sex once a month if you're lucky?

If you live in a small community, cheating is often more of a risk than it's worth with neighborhood gossips on the prowl.

In the UK there is a burgeoning internet business that focuses on putting married people in touch with one another for discreet affairs.

A number of these services go out of their way to ensure the comfort levels of clients who don't want their extramarital affairs to interfere with the routine of family life. Some even offer tips on how best to avoid being caught and provide counseling on how to handle emotional fall-out such as guilt. Stress is laid on confidentiality, and there is an undertaking to safeguard clients' identities. Often sexual partners meet and make-out while using pseudonyms. That could get a little weird. Saying her name at the crucial moment wouldn't have the same resonance.

Services that help the married with discreet encounters are becoming quite popular in the UK. Not all of these clients are cheaters, some have the permission of their spouse. There are many people trapped in loveless marriages with partners who aren't putting out. This can effect personal worth and self-esteem. In one story I reviewed, a spouse came second to her hubby's porno habit . Just to rub it in, he would occasionally compare her unfavorably to the lookers on the web. She stayed in the marriage for the sake of her kids. When she finally worked up the courage to date someone she met through an online service, it gave a huge boost to her flagging sense of worth.
It is legitimate to argue that the refusal of intimacy is potentially damaging to the health and well being of the rejected partner. Fact is, sex is good for you. Provided it's safe and legal it should be a source pleasure and empowerment. It has a therapeutic aspect that is often overlooked. According to some medical opinion a healthy sex life boosts the immune system, increases blood flow, lowers cholesterol, promotes prostate and genital health, boosts testosterone and estrogen counts, improves sleep and relaxation ... and even according to some ... is a life extension factor.

Dating services offer interpersonal connections, unlike pornography which is in high demand these days. There are some 40 million users in the US annually. Porn revenue for 2005 topped 12 billion, exceeding the profits of pro baseball, basketball and football franchises combined. Despite its popularity, a sex life that makes masturbation the primary outlet is rather sad and in the end, isolating.

Real sex of the therapeutic type involves a polarity between partners - the give-and-take of love, emotion and all the other human energies that help to make us whole people. At root the healing power of sex is about intimacy and sharing.
EXCERPTED FROM THIS INTERESTING ARTICLE (CLICK HERE TO READ)

Women are Warned Off of 'Casual Encounters' Sites

Almost all our cyberpaths (while claiming to be caring, upright and decent people) who conned for 'online love' used casual sex sites... much to the horror of their victims. When these predators don't get what they want on casual sex sites... they turn to luring, grooming and preying on normal, unwitting partners with proclamations of "love." BEWARE

Lonely Welsh women are turning to sordid internet sites to find no-strings thrills, Wales on Sunday can reveal.

The lovelorn browsers could become targets for stalkers and kidnappers, experts believe, as the so-called casual encounter forums could act as a magnet for dangerous predators.

Websites like craigslist host hundreds of ads from women and men looking for casual sex and who have grown tired of the traditional dating circuit.

But while their x-rated messages are almost guaranteed to attract a steamy response, safety gurus have warned that in a matter of minutes, vile cyber stalkers could have tracked down their home or office address.

Just a handful of responses received by a Wales on Sunday reporter revealed the worrying spectrum of offers being brokered online.

Just hours after posting the message: “Brunette, 27, seeks an older man for no-strings fun,” more than a dozen e-mails had flooded back – some touting trips abroad, meals out and stays in luxury resorts – all in exchange for a single night of no-strings sex.

One 27-year-old said he was willing to travel from London to Wales for a passionate fling with the “right” girl.

While another – a man who claimed to have blue eyes, light brown hair and dimples – asked: “What are you doing for Thanksgiving?

“ I have reservations at Harrahs in Cherokee in the Smoky Mountains (North Carolina, America). I’m looking for someone to go with me and have some fun. I will get a ticket to get you there... my treat.”

Professor Andrew Blyth, an information security expert at the University of Glamorgan, told WoS that he was “not surprised” that men and women had now turned to the net to arrange casual hook-ups.

But he warned: “I think if you do it, you’re mad.

“It’s one thing to meet someone in a bar and later find that something similar happens. But in this setting, people can claim to be anything they want."

“On one level, everyone involved is a consenting adult, but what happened to using chat-up lines in bars?

“With just a postcode and a quick search of the electoral register you can very quickly, and easily, narrow down a person’s address. The people involved could become exposed to abuse, abduction or even blackmail."

“I think if you do this, you’re off your trolley.”

Earlier this year, 17-year-old Ashleigh Michelle Hall was discovered dead after meeting a stranger online.

Durham Police said that the bright Darlington teen had failed to return home one night during October.

The GCSE student’s body was found after a 32-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of driving offences.

Bosses at craigslist.co.uk declined to comment on any of the arrangements that were being made via the site.

But a quick browse on the platform’s page for Wales revealed a clutch of messages from users... all keen to arrange potentially dangerous liaisons over the internet.

Some had posted their home and work postcodes on the site, as well as a telephone number, descriptions of their appearance and even photographs for strangers to browse.

“Once you have got these details, people can certainly find out where you live,” Prof Blyth said. “Postcodes restrict a person’s address to a group of 20, perhaps a hundred houses at the most.

“This really opens up issues of cyber stalking, as what’s seen as a casual relationship by one could be misconstrued as the real long-lasting deal by another person.

“It would even be easy enough to blackmail – for two people to arrange to meet up at a hotel and for one of the pair to threaten to tell the other’s spouse.

“They would already have your picture, and a phone number.”

A spokeswoman from South Wales Police last night advised men and women not to meet up in person with any stranger they had met online.

“These people could be purporting to be someone they are not,” she said.

“On the internet, people can easily make false claims, omit important details, post outdated photographs or even use photos of other people claiming to be them.

“Women and men should consider their personal safety at all times, and refrain from putting themselves into a vulnerable position.”

Lovelorn men and women are keen to push the boundaries online, experts have claimed.

Just a few hours after WoS reporter JO HARRIS posted her message on the web, dozens of racy replies came flooding her way.

One read: “Your message got my attention! All I can say is that your post ‘looking for no-strings fun’ is perfect. I’m not married, but single and like it that way. I’m looking for someone who can give me that special feeling now and again. Then I can carry on with my week.”

Another, who claimed to be a novice user of casual encounter sites, replied: “If you’re stuck for NSA (no-strings attached) fun, I’m more than available.

“I can travel but can’t accommodate. I’d love to be able to come round.”

But the most responses were those that talked of trips abroad in exchange for a steamy affair.

A man, who described himself as fair, with light-brown hair, blue eyes and a goatee beard, wrote: “What are you doing for Thanksgiving?

“I have reservations at Harrahs in Cherokee in Smoky Mountains (North Carolina, USA). I am looking for someone to go with me and have some fun. I will get a ticket to get you there... my treat.”

original article here

eHarmony Promoting Casual Sex Hookups

J.P. and Amanda Duffy expose dating service's encouragement of 'one-night stands'

..excerpts (Think Online Dating is "safe"? THINK AGAIN!)

Wednesday evening, a friend called expressing dismay about eHarmony's most recent e-newsletter which included an article, "Navigating the one-night stand." Our friend read the first few lines: "So you're a swinging single, and you've had a one-night stand. What's the etiquette for establishing boundaries, calling the day after and getting out without hurting feelings?"

Promoting such high-risk, promiscuous behavior is outrageous and irresponsible.

The advice column glosses over the risks of sexually transmitted diseases. In flippantly urging readers to "always use protection," the columnist ignores the ugly realties of "one night stands." The Center for Disease Control reports that sexually transmitted diseases are at epidemic proportions in this country, with 19 million new infections added every year. The consequences of an STD infection range from infertility to impaired reproductive health.

Also glossed over is the increased risk for violence among those who "navigate" multiple sexual partners. The article states, "It's true you can't spot an ax murderer just by talking to him, but it's a good sign if you are comfortable with someone in the light before deciding to dance in the dark." Does anyone really believe that "talking in the light" is enough to sufficiently reduce this high risk of dating violence?

What the column doesn't report is that sexually active females are five times more likely to be victimized by dating violence than girls who are abstinent.

Several years ago, Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder of eHarmony, was closely associated with Focus on the Family. He separated from the organization after deciding to expand his services to the wider market. However, "Navigating the One Night Stand" takes this a step further by completely breaking eHarmony away from its Christian, pro-marriage beginnings.
After 24 hours, the article was removed from the eHarmony website. However, this will do little to undo the damage to their reputation. How did the advice column get there in the first place? It was clearly an intentional element of a well-designed newsletter, complete with a graphic of a tousled couple in bed together.

eHarmony can make amends by issuing a full retraction, an apology and an explanation of how this occurred. At minimum, this e-newsletter represents gross negligence. The apology should also be sent to all e-newsletter recipients.

eHarmony has assisted thousands of couples in building strong marriages. However, this goes beyond eHarmony's corporate reputation. A full retraction and reaffirmation of their mission will signal that eHarmony will remain an ally of millions of couples who endeavor to build strong marriages in the face of a culture that degrades marriage and family.

However, eHarmony's silence would signal something entirely different. A failure to retract will lead many to believe that eHarmony sees this as a minor issue and is open to "navigating" its readers into such risky territory again in the future.

Let's hope they realize that their standards should be compatible with the morals and values of their members.

SOURCE

Who wants to bet that eHarmony does it again? And other sites will or are doing the same! EOPC does not condone online dating or ANY online dating site in ANY way, shape or form.

Online Dating Site Fakes "Flirt" Messages

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Woman Posts Explicit Pics Online for Sex - Then Cries Rape

A woman who posted explicit photographs of herself on the web and then falsely claimed a man she met online had raped her has been jailed for nine months.

Beverley Stephenson's false allegation sparked a full police investigation, including house-to-house inquiries, a poster campaign, and a press appeal.

Stephenson, 42, from Horden, Sunderland, admitted perverting the course of justice between April 5 and May 14, last year.

Judge John Evans, passing sentence, said: 'People who make false allegations such as these undermine the criminal justice system, and there are serious implications for genuine victims.

'Your fabricated claims completely undermined the investigation into your own allegation of rape.'

He added: 'All of this is of your own making. You could have called a halt to it at any time. I am told you have psychological and other difficulties, but they cannot excuse what you did.'

Stephenson wept as she was jailed and had to be helped from the dock as she was led away.

Prosecutor Amanda Rippon said Stephenson initially told police she did not know the identity of her alleged attacker.

She later falsely indicated he might have been a member of a family with whom she had fallen out.

'Her accounts resulted in the arrest and questioning of three men,' Mrs Rippon added. 'At least two of the men were kept in custody for several hours.

'Each of the men said being implicated, albeit wrongly, in a rape has caused them embarrassment and difficulties with their own friends and families.'

Police became suspicious of Stephenson when she claimed hair pulled from her head in the attack actually came from her hairbrush.

The court heard she had sex in her lounge with the man she met online, but the evidence suggested it was consensual.

Alexia Zimbler, defending, said: 'This is an unusual case in that Ms Stephenson still maintains she was raped.

'But she accepts the way in which she misled the police made it impossible for that allegation to be properly investigated.

'She was ashamed and embarrassed by the way she met this man, and feared the police would not believe her or take her seriously if she told the truth about that.'

original article here