Bail Refused to Man Who Met Victim Online Dating

by Rania Spooner

A Chinese national charged with raping a woman he met on a dating website had only days earlier been interviewed by police over allegations he'd raped a different online date.

Runbin Hu, 29, was refused bail by Victoria's chief magistrate, Peter Lauritsen, on Wednesday after prosecutors argued he posed too great a risk to the community.

Police allege Mr Hu detained and raped two young woman, just days apart, after meeting them separately on Chinese dating websites.  

He has been charged with one count of rape against a woman who claims he attacked her at his Notting Hill apartment on Monday, but the Melbourne Magistrates Court heard that the possibility of further charges was possible in relation to the other woman.

Defence lawyer Chong Yang, said consent would be a major issue  and that while his client agreed about the intercourse,  he maintained that it had been consensual.

Mr Hu has lived in Australia for seven years, first as a student and then working as a chef in aged care facility in Sunbury, without ever running into trouble with the law, his lawyer told the court.

Detective Acting Sergeant Rosemary Eden, of the Box Hill sexual offences and child abuse investigation team, said Mr Hu met one of the women online on last Saturday, March 7, and the pair agreed to go on a date on Monday night.  

Mr Hu picked her up from her house and took her to a bar in Clayton where she had one beer, she said.  But after refusing to take her home, he drove to his apartment, prompting her to send four text messages to a friend expressing concern about what was going to happen.

The woman told police Mr Hu had then carried her into his bedroom where he pinned her arms down and forced himself on her, telling her that she had to be quiet or he "would be rude," Acting Sergeant Eden said. 

He let her leave afterwards and her friends took her to the police station where she made a statement and underwent forensic testing, she said.

Following his arrest on Tuesday, Mr Hu admitted to having intercourse with the woman, "while she was silent and shaking," but told police it was consensual, the court heard.

Eight days earlier he'd been interviewed in relation to the rape allegations made by the other woman, a South Australian-based Chinese woman who had travelled to Melbourne after meeting him online. 

This woman had previously been undecided about pursuing the matter but agreed on Tuesday to make a statement, Acting Sergeant Eden said.

Mr Hu's lawyer said in this case, the woman had been in a relationship with Mr Hu for about two months.

She previously told police Mr Hu sexually assaulted her shortly after picking her up from the airport. She wanted to leave, but he held onto her passport for two days and committed further assaults, the woman alleged.

Mr Hu, who speaks very limited English, shook his head as his lawyer explained that bail had been refused.

He was remanded in custody to face court again on June 5.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE FOUND HERE

Man She Met on Dating Site Beat and Raped Her

(USA) A petite, disabled Army veteran and single mother stoically told a judge how a man she met through an online dating site brutally beat, choked, raped and sodomized her after she invited him into her home.

She was testifying during a bond hearing for Corderell St. George, who’s charged with rape and false imprisonment in the Feb. 5 incident. He has been held without bond in the Muscogee County Jail since his arrest Feb. 28, and defense attorney William Kendrick tried to persuade Superior Court Judge William Rumer to set a bond so St. George could be released.

After hearing from the victim, Rumer declined.

The victim testified that after the assault, she helped police track St. George down by posting a fake profile to the online dating site “Plenty of Fish,” through which she first met him. She said he had deleted his old profile on that site and posted a new one, but had not changed his photograph.

Using the fake profile she’d created, she made contact with him, and not realizing who she was, he started making the same pitch he’d made to meet her before, she said.

Prosecutor LaRae Moore cited that testimony in arguing St. George would remain a danger to others were he released from jail. Having attacked the woman in her home, where she still lives, he presents a danger to her as well, Moore said.

The woman described what began as a pleasant meeting. St. George did not drive, and first invited her to his house, saying he had a roommate. His roommate turned out to be his girlfriend, who also testified Thursday, saying he'd been living with her since she met him in November 2013.

The victim said she hadn’t felt comfortable meeting St. George at his home, so as he walked toward her house Feb. 5, she met him halfway and gave him a ride there.

Around 11 a.m., while her teenage son was at school, she and St. George sat at her dining room table, played cards and had a few drinks. He seemed “mild mannered” and “quiet,” she said.

That changed abruptly: “From out of the blue, he hit me,” she said.

Screaming, she ran for her front door and unbolted one of its locks before he dragged her back, saying “Shut up, b---h,” she said. He ordered her to give him oral sex, she said. When she fought back, biting his hand and reaching for a bottle to hit him with, he beat and choked her, she said.
He choked her so hard she began to vomit, both on the pillow on her bed and the couch in her living room, she testified. He pulled a weave from her hair, and their violent struggle destroyed her flat-screen TV and an end table, she said.

Finally she persuaded him she had to use the bathroom, and as soon as she was free, she ran naked out the door to tell her neighbors, who went back in with her to confront him, she said. They found her home vacant and her back door standing open.

Clear to anyone in the courtroom was the disparity between the size of the victim and the suspect. She testified she was 5-foot-1 and weighed 135 pounds. Moore said St. George is 6-foot-6. He reportedly weighed 220 pounds when arrested.

Testifying on St. George’s behalf was a grandmother who said he’d lived with her most of his life, before moving in with the girlfriend. “I’ve never seen a violent side,” she said.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE FOUND HERE

Read more here: http://www.ledger-enquirer.com/2014/04/10/3049777/woman-testifies-man-she-met-through.html#storylink=cpy

Plenty of Fish Online Dating Site Leads to a Rape

By Steve Schmadeke; Chicago Tribune

On a cool fall night in 2009, a 38-year-old west suburban woman went out on a date with a public-relations executive she had recently met online.

The woman was supposed to meet up later that night with her younger sister. But after increasingly worrisome texts — including one that said "please help me" — the sister took a cab to the Lincoln Park neighborhood and with the help of staff finally located her in a hotel room, half naked and sobbing, according to testimony at a trial this week.

On Thursday, a Cook County jury took little more than 90 minutes to convict the executive, Ignacio Carrillo, who prosecutors alleged had drugged the woman before raping her.

Carrillo, 40, still faces trial for allegedly sexually assaulting another woman he met through the same dating site — Plenty of Fish — in 2011. He was charged in both alleged sexual assaults only after the second victim came forward.

Assistant State's Attorney Tom Prisco told jurors during closing arguments earlier Thursday that "under the guise of some sort of romantic evening, he would buy them drinks and then rape them."

"It's been a long five years," the victim told the Tribune after the guilty verdict was announced at the Leighton Criminal Court Building. "I'm glad that someone finally listened."

The victim had reported the 2009 assault at a Lincoln Park hotel to police, but she initially declined to move forward with the prosecution of Carrillo, according to trial testimony. However, she changed her mind when police contacted her after the second victim came forward.

According to trial testimony, Carrillo took the woman to two bars on Oct. 15, 2009, and then a hotel at 601 W. Diversey Parkway, but she remembered only bits and pieces of what happened despite drinking only a glass of wine and a single shot.

When the woman realized she was in a hotel room and tried to leave, Carrillo yanked her back inside and raped her, prosecutors said.

The sister eventually found the hotel she was staying at, grabbed her sister and ran as Carrillo lay "smirking" on the bed, according to testimony.

The victim's younger sister told the Tribune she had to scramble after getting the text that her sister needed help.

"I thank the taxicab driver, wherever he is, for getting me there," she said.

Carrillo, who faces 4 to 15 years in prison, showed no emotion but dropped his eyes when a judge ordered him taken into custody after the verdict.

His attorney, Daniel Radakovich, argued to jurors that the 2009 victim reported being raped because she was disgusted with herself after a one night stand with someone she didn't like.

Prosecutors were allowed to put on evidence at the trial about the alleged 2011 sexual assault to allow jurors to weigh Carrillo's propensity to commit the 2009 rape.

The alleged victim in that case, now 36 and a married mother of two, testified earlier this week that Carrillo ordered her a martini while she was in the bathroom at a Lincoln Park bar while they were out on a date.

She said Carrillo grew angry when she took only a sip from the drink. He poured what he said was olive juice into the drink, telling her to stir it in so she got "the roofie," slang for a date rape drug. The woman testified she thought at the time Carrillo was joking.

After going to another bar — where the woman drank only water — Carrillo raped her against the passenger side door of his Porsche convertible, prosecutors allege. He then wanted to take her to a hotel, but she insisted he drive her home.

"He said this could've been a nice evening, but I ruined it," she testified.

The next day the woman went to a hospital, reported being raped and a nurse called police.

Both women identified Carrillo through his profile on the dating site, prosecutors said.

original article found here

Police Seek ‘Christian Mingle’ Date Rape Victims

DOESN'T MATTER - CHRISTIAN OR SECULAR - ONLINE DATING IS NOT SAFE AND FILLED WITH CYBERPATHS 

(USA) — A Southern California man has been arrested on suspicion of raping a woman he met on a Christian dating website.

La Mesa police Lt. Matt Nicholass says 37-year-old Sean Banks, of Del Mar, was taken into custody Monday and booked for investigation of rape and residential burglary. The Navy veteran is accused of assaulting a woman in her La Mesa home last fall.

Police say the two first met on ChristianMingle.com and that the October assault occurred when they met in person for the first time.

Banks has plead not guilty to two counts of rape and was released on $500,000 bond. Authorities claim that he posed as “Rylan Butterwood” and “Rylan Harbough” on the Christian dating web site and they are looking into other potential aliases he used while traveling around the U.S. for work. It’s unclear what he did for a living and police claim that he is currently unemployed.

“We’re looking to see if there are any other victims … who recognize him by his face, because they may not know his real name is Sean,” Nicholass told ABC.

The case has thrust Christian Mingle, a web site that pledges to “Find God’s match for you” into the spotlight, with the company releasing a statement and affirming its compliance with the investigation.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE FOUND HERE

CONTACTING THE LA MESA CALIFORNIA POLICE

WOMAN LIES ABOUT RAPE BY ONLINE DATE

(U.S.A.) A Tennessee woman was charged with filing a false rape claim after she admitted to police that she only did so because she 'didn't enjoy' their date.

Twenty-seven-year-old Lynette Lee told detectives in Clarksville, Tennessee that the unidentified man never actually raped her, and that she made the whole story up to get back at him for what she thought was a bad date.   Lee was charged with filing a false police report and held on a $2,000 bond.

Lee initially told police officers from a hospital that she was raped by a man she met on the online dating site Meetme.com.  Per her story, the two had agreed to meet up.

She then told authorities that the two of them went to an unknown location, where the man then removed his clothes and forced her to have sex with him, despite her desire not to.

Investigating the story, police interviewed the man, who promptly told them that the allegations against him were not true. He said that he did indeed meet with Lee and on the second date they had consensual sex. The man also said that they had a good time and made further arrangements to meet again.

Police then called in Lee who again told officers the same story as before. But shortly after, she asked them to drop the case and admitted that the incident had been completely fabricated.

Police said Lee told them she made up the story 'because she did not enjoy it and it was bad.'

ORIGINAL ARTICLE FOUND HERE

MATCH.com Strikes Again - Woman Raped on First Date

A woman who was brutally beaten and raped on a first date with a man she met on Match.com has testified about how she faced additional humiliation from defense attorneys who tried to use her Google searches as evidence against her.

Jennifer Bennett was 23-years-old when she was attacked in the apartment of Thomas Bray, a 37-year-old anesthesiologist, and she decided to go public following the attack in hopes of encouraging other sexual assault victims to report their attacks.

Though she expected to be questioned by police and interrogated by Bray's prominent attorney, she did not expect that they would try to use her own Google searches against her in an attempt to diminish the seriousness of the attack.

According to The Oregonian, Bray's lawyers ordered Ms Bennett to turn over her Google searches because they wanted to show that around the time of the February 2011 attack, Ms Bennett searched for the definition of rape. Defense attorneys believed that this would help support Bray's story that their sexual was rough but consensual, and Ms Bennett regretted it after the fact so she was looking for a way to argue her way out of it.

Victims advocates, however, decried the move. Meg Garvin, director of the National Crime Victim Law Institute said 'it's subjecting them to re-victimization by the system'. The filing for the search results was the first of its kind in Oregon, and though the both the county judge ruled that the order was justified and the state supreme court ruled that too much time had passed to appeal, the district attorney did not comply with the order.

Google also refused to turn over their user’s information as protected by the federal Electronic Communications Privacy Act unless she agreed, which she did not. In the end, Ms Bennett didn’t turn over her searches or her journals, but the sympathetic judge did not react with a contempt of court charge.‘I chose not to because I didn't think it was fair or correct,’ Ms Bennett told The Oregonian.

Instead of penalizing the victim, the jury sentenced Bray to spend the next 25 years in jail as he was found guilty of rape, sodomy, strangulation and assault.He was also facing charges that stem back to an alleged sexual assault of a prior girlfriend, but her claims were dismissed since the judge found them to be less valid because she continued to date him after the incident took place.

He will also have to pay a $112,000 fine, and $50,000 of that money will go the Ms Bennett, who moved to Oregon just months before the attack after accepting a job as a research chemist at Western Washington University.

Aside from the unusual invasion into Ms Bennett’s privacy, the story of the attack is becoming a disturbingly familiar trend as there have been many instances of sexual assaults during dates that came to fruition via online dating sites.

In Ms Bennett’s case, she met Bray at a drink at a bistro in downtown Bend, and they then went together to Bray’s condo which was directly across the street for a glass of wine.  Very soon after entering the condo, Ms Bennett was beaten, raped, and strangled until she passed out. She said that the abuse took place over the course of several hours.

After reporting the crime to police, she suffered scrutiny from both internet trolls and local news reporters, who published the police report and highlighted her bra size. She has since moved to Seattle.

‘Yes, I was raped. It doesn't make me a bad person. I didn't make poor choices. I was not the criminal,’ she told The Oregonian.  (Bray’s sentencing is) the one nugget that I could hold on to through all of this-- that a dangerous criminal will be off the streets.’

original article found here

THE DANGERS OF INTERNET DATING

by Margaret Overton

In 2002, I decided to leave my husband. There was only one argument, really, that I remember. In mid-November, on a Sunday morning, Stig called to ask what I was doing that day. He'd been up early, making rounds at the hospital. "Thanksgiving is Thursday," I said. "I've got to bring the decorations and the turkey dishes up from the storage locker, and I was going to take the boxes that are piled up in the dining room downstairs, get them out of the way."

Stig didn't reply.

"You know, the lift is broken," I said.

"How dare you."

"Excuse me?"

"How dare you ask me to help you. I bring home the bacon. I don't ever want to be asked to help do anything around the house."

I hung up. My hands shook. The rage in his voice was out of proportion to a few boxes to be carried to the basement. And who said stuff like, "I bring home the bacon"? It was irrelevant. I'd worked or been at university our entire marriage. As had he. But it was a pivotal event. He stopped talking to me. And I stopped sleeping.

I didn't have money of my own; Stig had made sure of that. Then, miraculously, my medical practice offered me a job. I wrote Stig a letter, and put it on his desk – talking to him directly never worked out as planned. Plus I'd stopped sleeping in our bedroom and seldom saw him if and when he came home. One morning I walked into our bedroom. He was at the desk, working on his laptop. He quickly closed it when he saw me.

"What do you think about the separation?"

It had been two weeks since I had given him the letter. Stig just stared at me. He looked like someone I'd never seen before. His expression seemed scrunched, pinched, so taut that no blood could flow to the surface. His face held rage. "That's fine," he said.

Twenty years, two children and that was it. No discussion, just "fine".

A few days later, I moved to our weekend house in Michigan. When I came back to Chicago to meet an estate agent, the building engineer mentioned that my husband's girlfriend looked, from behind, just like one of my daughters. That's how I found out he had a girlfriend.

I lived in our weekend house for the summer, waiting for my job to begin, waiting for our apartment to sell. In the months after I left, after 20 years together, when I hadn't yet learned what the narrative would be, I didn't know about the girlfriend – or all the girlfriends, rather, all I knew was that he had turned into someone I no longer knew or trusted. I could barely stop crying long enough to drive my car to the off-licence. I took it there frequently. I couldn't sleep unless I drank half a bottle of wine before bed. I cried until my head ached. I had headaches every day.

Then, in a few brief weeks over the summer, the apartment sold. In September, my daughter Ruthann, who was still at high school, and I moved into a two-bedroom apartment with no view, high ceilings and large rooms. After a day of moving, my phone rang. "Margaret, this is Leo Kennedy." Leo Kennedy was a friend of my former brother-in-law. I hadn't seen him in years. "I've been wanting to call for months, ever since I heard you were separated. I'd like to take you to dinner." He was at least 70. Maybe older.

"Leo, it's just too soon for me," I said.

"I'll wait. I'll wait three weeks, then call?" I suppose Leo didn't have a lot of time to waste.

I let Leo go to voicemail for the next couple of weeks, but I registered the wake-up. Does anyone plan on being single at 44? One night I took off my clothes and stood in front of a full-length mirror. The lighting accentuated my cellulite and wrinkles, made me look depressed and a bit criminally insane. I looked like a woman who'd been left in middle age, even if I had done the leaving.

On a Saturday afternoon I was on the internet, shopping for things I didn't need. A screen popped up: match.com. I did not know how to meet men. I didn't go to bars, I was paralysed with shyness and almost all my friends were married or gay. The internet seemed a good place to start. As I read the profiles, I recognised some very angry people. They sounded like me, or like the me I didn't want to acknowledge. I would have to be careful.

I started slow. Anyone with even a passing resemblance to Stig, I immediately deleted. Then there was an email from Ed, a doctor of psychology. This was important to me because I thought it appropriate to date men as educated as myself. There's no box to check for that on match.com.

We met at a bar. "Tell me about your research," I said.

"I study sexual behaviour," Ed answered.

"Ah," I said, nodding. Of course he did. Our talk was relatively serious, in contrast to our emails, which were funny. His sense of humour seemed limited by his… person.

"So how does this work," I asked, "this dating thing?"

"Well," he hesitated, "I've dated a lot of women. And what usually happens is, after a month of sleeping together, I find a way to extricate myself from the relationship. And it's painful. Because even if the woman says she's just interested in something casual, she gets hurt. I think a woman's interest in a man grows once they're sleeping together, whereas a man stays interested for about a month, then he stops. There's actually hormonal evidence to substantiate this scenario."

This guy was every woman's worst nightmare. He was using scientific research and probably US government grant money to justify being a jerk.

"What about fun?" I asked.

"Fun is important, but sometimes I think it helps to get sex out of the way first. We could do that tonight, if you like." He looked hopeful and innocent. Or, rather, he looked like a caricature of innocence.

"Thanks, but I'm fine," I answered.

Following my aborted rendezvous with Ed, I met Angel, a banker, who arrived 20 minutes late at a coffee shop. He appeared sweaty and dishevelled, his face covered with tiny lacerations. "I have obsessive-compulsive disorder," he said. "The reason I have so many cuts on my face is because I shaved six times before I came to meet you." I nodded. "Huh," I said.

Hank, a securities analyst, took nondescript and made it a superlative. Lunch went reasonably well, and Hank was dull but showed no obvious signs of self-mutilation, so we decided we'd meet the next night. That evening he called and said he'd been fired. "Can I make dinner for you?" I offered, feeling terrible for this man I had just met. I invited a total stranger to my apartment.

Besides being fired, he told me about his prostate troubles, gastrointestinal difficulties and recent gum surgery. His ex-wife had left him for another man. It was like having dinner with Eeyore, if Eeyore had been constipated, couldn't pee and had gingivitis. By the end of the evening, I was ready to leave him, too.

In summer 2004, two years into divorce proceedings, with no end in sight and legal fees mounting, I met a businessman named Nigel through a neighbour who described him as "good-looking" and intelligent. Consider "good-looking" a subjective adjective. We met at a lovely Italian restaurant. Immediately, he asked if I liked poetry and pulled out what he called his "favourite" book of poems: The Poetry Of Richard Milhous Nixon. It contained, in poetry form, excerpts from the Watergate tapes. I was relieved. I thought, he has a sense of humour – this might work out. It was the last funny thing he said or did for two months.

I decided to have sex with him. Maybe he would redeem himself. And I was not thinking clearly. Luckily, sex turned out to be the clincher. After removing his shirt, I got the distinct impression that Nigel had not bathed. This turns some women on. I am not one of them.

After Nigel, I decided to try match.com again. There were so many issues I did not want to deal with. I did not want to face the fact that Ruthann would soon go to university, leaving me to live alone for the first time in my life. I did not want to consider why I'd stayed married for 20 years to a man I did not like. And now here I was, dating men I found unappealing, hoping they would like me. Once again thinking that the right relationship could fix my life. It never occurred to me to ask myself, how do I fix this?

In late September, I received a match.com email from a man named Alex. He told me about himself in a way that was articulate, funny. We met in early October. We talked for three and a half hours; he told me he'd lost his wife after a long illness. Still we managed to laugh. I'd finally found someone I liked. I emailed, saying what a wonderful time I'd had, offering to make dinner. "I haven't had anyone cook a meal for me in a couple of years," his email said. "I don't know if I will know how to act, so tread cautiously."

I did not take his advice. I wish I had. Alex had disaster written all over him. It had been six months since his wife died; for complex reasons, he had only begun to grieve. He treated me as a temporary player in his life, introducing me as his "date" after we'd been together for five months. He grabbed me in public, as if he were a schoolboy, sliding his hand under my skirt when he thought no one was looking. When I objected, he withdrew behind a wall. After an argument, he told me, "I don't love you, and I never will." We hadn't been talking about love. After six months, I asked if he would be available to have dinner for my birthday. "No," he said. "I'll be out of town." What about the week after? "I'll be gone then, too." Silence. I heard the sound exactly as he intended it.

In August, at the age of 88, Mum fell into a creek while playing golf. We felt quite lucky she did not lose consciousness and drown. I had her transferred to my hospital, where surgeons operated to stabilise her neck. My sisters and I decided to move her into a retirement home. We needed to get her used to the idea, but the surgery had left her demented. "Stop treating me like a chicken!" she cried when I visited her that day. My normally sweet mother had transformed into a harridan.

I thought, if this is the future, the future looks grim indeed. I slid into a depression that held on to me tight. Had it not been for my daughters, I might have let go. My despair felt interminable. I knew something had to change. I could not continue doing what I'd been doing.

I told work that I wanted back into the partnership track, to be full time. I made plans to travel. I quit match.com and ordered expanded television with classic films. I became comfortable staying home on Saturday nights by myself. Responsibilities accumulated, friendships multiplied; the lack of a relationship in my life seemed almost unnoticeable.

After four or five months, several friends offered to fix me up. I hesitated. Then one told me about a dating service she'd used. It's not cheap, she said, but when people have to go through an interview and shell out money, they're more likely to be serious about wanting a relationship.

Charles was the fifth man I met through Dating Alliance. I felt unaccountably nervous – doubtful that I'd like him, afraid that I would. I'd met so many weird men by that point. He was originally from the Netherlands and owned a manufacturing company. He spoke several languages. He was tall, maybe 6ft 5in, bald, with a skinny, white, handlebar moustache, and he looked every day of 60. Perhaps older. He asked if I'd join him for dinner. "I told the women at Dating Alliance my concern about dating someone with kids, but they assured me your kids are older."

"Why don't you want to date anyone with kids?" I asked.

"Because they always come first," he said.

Ah, I thought.

"What about your work?" he asked. "Are your hours predictable?"

"No," I answered.

He looked unhappy. I almost felt sorry for him.

When we left the restaurant, a homeless man walked up to Charles, who took out his wallet and handed him some money. I heard him murmur, "You're not going to drink all this, are you?"

"No, sir, I'm not."

"Can I call you?" Charles asked me. I wasn't attracted to him. He was controlling, probably narcissistic, one more of the same old same old. Then again, I just wanted to date. Casually. Have some fun. So I said OK.

He asked me out that Friday night. We walked to a sushi place. I was exhausted. Conversation felt like work, and I'd already spent 12 hours in the operating room. After, we walked back to my apartment. We were discussing the upcoming election, standing in the kitchen, then wandered into the living room. We sat on the sofa, facing each other. Suddenly he yanked me towards him, put his mouth on mine, roughly, holding my neck tightly.

"Wait!" I said.

"You want me to stop?" he asked.

"Yes!" I said. "I want you to stop."

I turned my head. I wanted to get a breath that didn't include him, didn't include his scent, but for that moment, I must have relaxed and the tension must have lessened imperceptibly. It was enough. He flipped on top of me and yanked my trousers down. I said again, "Stop." He was huge and heavy. I thought, if I fought him, he might hurt me more, so I said, enunciating clearly, as if to a child, "Charles, if you do this, I will never see you again. Is that what you want?"

"No," he said. He shoved himself inside me.

Afterwards, I opened the door, he walked out, and I quickly locked it behind him. I felt the numbness of shock.

Rape can make a person catatonic. It did that to me, initially. Days passed. Weeks. I barely blinked. I lay in bed without sleeping. I repressed every thought, every feeling. I did not answer Charles's calls. He rang and left messages for a week or so, then stopped. Rape stays with you – the violence and the fear – it stays with you, in small and large ways, and it screws up your life and your relationships for years. But while it is a sexual act, it is only marginally about sex. It is an assertion of power, an act of intimidation.

The only relief I found was in riding my bike, the constant motion of it. I rode every day I could – along the lake front, in Michigan on day trips, in the suburbs when I visited my mum. Eventually, I made plans. I had a week of holiday in October and decided to take a bike trip. Although I'd done these cycling vacations before, this one marked my first time alone. I felt awkward. A younger woman, in her late 30s, thin and very fit, stuck out her hand. "Hi, I'm Micheline," she said. "Margaret," I said. A dark-haired man walked up to us, in biking gear and a jacket. "Henry," he said, "from New York," and held out his hand. "Margaret," I repeated, and shook it.

The roads, that first day, were empty, the sky blue. The group quickly spread itself out. I had no interest in hurrying and I planned to bike alone, at my own pace. Henry cycled with me, or behind me, all day. He asked questions. I answered, briefly, to be polite, and gradually the beautiful day and his genial company lifted my mood.

The second day we rode toward the coast. Once again, Henry rode with me. That night at dinner, he ordered wine for us. He asked me questions all evening. By the time dessert arrived, I felt exposed and exhausted. The next day, he apologised. He seemed to recognise his intrusiveness of the evening before. He rode beside me again, but he kept the conversation light. I thought, he seems like a good guy. But I knew I had bad judgment. And you cannot know someone in three days.

We ate dinner with the group, then left the restaurant and went for a walk. We stopped in a pub for a drink. As soon as we sat, Henry turned my barstool to face him. He took my hand and studied me intently. "Margaret, can you live in the moment?"

I frowned slightly. "I'm not sure I know what you're asking," I said. Much later I realised what I should have suspected then. His question had nothing to do with living in the moment. It had everything to do with sex, meaning sex with no strings attached. But there could be no such thing for someone like me, after all I'd been through, at that point in time, with someone like him.

Henry's divorce commenced soon after the Napa Valley trip. We saw each other over the next four months, and spoke nearly every day on the phone. We lived in different states. I stayed cautious and circumspect, or I thought I did. Then, one day, in the middle of discussing hotel reservations, Henry said he couldn't see me any more. His coldness stunned me. I sent him an invitation to my 50th birthday party six weeks later but he declined. I never heard from him again.

I feel confident that you would like a Hollywood ending to this story. I wish I could give it to you. But I'm afraid you would need to think in terms of independent films, not your typical big-studio romance. I stopped dating after Henry. I began writing and recognised my own patterns of behaviour, behaviour that seems obvious and destructive in retrospect. I gave up the internet, though friends still tell me it's the only way for a woman my age to meet a man. I find that incredibly depressing. Growing old is not for sissies. On bad days, I think I've made every mistake out there and know to anticipate the worst. On good days, I know I am lucky to be alive. Every day I wish that wisdom were not accompanied by receding gums, memory loss and joint deterioration.

original article found here

Online Dating -- Dangerous for Your Life

by Jamie Ramirez

Sitting behind a computer, I could be anyone I wish to be. I could be a 13-year-old boy from Kansas who likes to play videogames. Or I could be a 47-year-old woman from another country looking to get married to a single American man. The point is: I could take on any identity and no one would ever have to know.

Online dating is potentially very dangerous. There's no assurance that the person you are talking to is really telling the truth. There's no way of knowing if they have a criminal background, was once or are married or has children.

Blind dates are different. Usually, a friend or an acquaintance has recommended a person who they think would be compatible for you. If someone is referring you on a date with a suitable single, he or she are using his or her judgment and knowledge of what appeals to you.

Online dating services simply use a questionnaire to match up singles through common answers and common interests. A computer does not have the ability to make a judgment call or to decide compatibility for two people. It simply matches answers.

People can also lie about who they are. Behind a computer, anyone could take on any identity they choose. Online dating is dangerous because everyone has access to a computer. That includes rapists and child molesters.

According to a study conducted by the American Psychological Association in August 2004, less than 5 percent of online sexual offenders used force to sexually abuse their victims when they decided to meet.

Victims said they already felt close bonds with their attacker before meeting with them.

People just need an Internet connection. But why put your life at risk for the chance to go on a date? Some would argue that love is worth taking a risk. Call me old fashioned, but I don't think love is worth putting your life on the line.

original article here

Online Dating & Online Prostitution Cause Rise in Rapes

By Christopher D. Kirkpatrick

excerpts from the article:
(NORTH CAROLINA, USA) Reported rape is up 16 percent in Mecklenburg County this year, fueled by the popularity of Internet dating and online classifieds offering sexual services, Charlotte police and experts say.

“In the past, (rapists) would have to hunt and stalk,” said Sgt. Darrell Price, who's in charge of Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department's sexual assault unit. “Now, all you have to do is (get on the Internet), and she's waiting for you at a hotel room.”

Officials also say a higher percentage of victims each year are coming forward to report rape. Nationally, the number of rapes reported to police has increased by 30 percent since 1993, according to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, a nonprofit advocacy group.

Greater media coverage, including attention from Oprah Winfrey, is lessening the shame and social stigma of being a victim, says Brandy Redmile Stephens, victim services director for Charlotte's United Family Services. The nonprofit has been seeing more victims lately, but she couldn't say how many more.

“It's getting easier for them to understand that it's not something they should keep a secret,” she said. “They're more informed.”

In North Carolina, a new state law that passed this year allows victims to provide medical evidence anonymously and free before deciding if they want to call police. To be effective, medical evidence needs to be collected within 72 hours of an assault.

In the past, victims without medical insurance might have paid $800 or more for an ambulance, emergency room and for a doctor or nurse to collect the evidence, Stephens estimated. The state-run N.C. Rape Victims Assistance Program now reimburses a medical staff up to $1,000.

Medical professionals also used to require the victim to report the rape to police before they would collect evidence. So victims who had financial concerns or were too traumatized missed their chance to provide forensic evidence and regretted it later, Price said. Now, they can decide later if they want to file a police report and still preserve evidence, he said.

“It gives the victim much more power,” he said.

Outreach is helping
Rape is the only major crime category up this year, according to statistics.

Through July, there were 26 more rapes reported to police (185) than last year, when CMPD investigated 159 rapes during the same period. That goes against a two-year trend that saw fewer reported rapes in Mecklenburg.

Price said he believes the Internet is playing a role in the rising numbers. But he also explains the increase as a result of stepped-up outreach programs by the department during the past year and a half.

No Cyber-Case Registry
No central authority or group is counting how many sex crimes are Internet-related, said Parry Aftab, an Internet privacy lawyer and executive director of New York-based wiredsafety.org, an Internet safety group.

But she said it's clearly going up, and the dangers are real – even for women dating online through 'reputable' cyber-dating sites.

“The crimes are notoriously underreported,” said Aftab, who is regularly consulted by government and media outlets on the subject.

Her group advocates changing police forms and FBI crime reporting requirements to include a cyber category to better track it: “Right now, it just shows as a general sexual assault.”

Locally, experts say more date rapes and sexual assaults are growing out of Internet chat room introductions and from dates arranged through popular cyber-dating sites.

But Charlotte-Mecklenburg police also are reporting a surge in crimes against women who blatantly advertise adult sexual services on the Internet, Price said.

Some are prostitutes advertising through sites such as Craigslist, which offers free Internet classified ads. They try to hook up with clients in Charlotte hotel rooms, but end up getting robbed or raped, police reported. Others are arrested for prostitution in police stings.

Since September, Charlotte-Mecklenburg police say 13 robberies and five sexual assaults have resulted from ads placed by women advertising sex services. And police also arrested at least 24 prostitutes and johns in a June sting operation.

Concerned about the increase, Price said he sent an e-mail to Craigslist last week asking the online posting company to warn women advertising personal services that Charlotte had become too dangerous for them.

Craigslist has drawn fire in recent months for its adult services ads. S.C. Attorney General Henry McMaster threatened to file criminal charges earlier this year against Craigslist executives. Craigslist and its CEO Jim Buckmaster fired back with a lawsuit, which is pending. N.C. Attorney General Roy Cooper has also focused attention on MySpace and Facebook over sexual predators...

Craigslist did not respond to the Observer's request for comment about the Charlotte incidents or Price's request for the company to post a warning.

Authorities say the company has helped with criminal investigations, including helping track down a suspect police say raped a Kannapolis woman at her husband's request in late May 2009.

Price said he doesn't know how Charlotte might compare to other big cities but said the number of victims in “such a short period of time” is a concern for the department.

“It was a simple request. … It's just a matter of time before one of them gets murdered,” he said.

One in six women and one in 33 men will be a victim of sexual assault in their lifetime.

College-aged women are four times more likely to be sexually assaulted.

Sexual Assault Numbers

• In 2007, there were 248,300 sexual assault victims.
• Every two minutes someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted.
• Approximately 73 percent of rape victims know their assailants.
• Only 6 percent of rapists will ever spend a day in jail.

For more information visit www.rainn.org. The group also runs a national sexual assault hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).


When meeting someone for the first time, remember to:

• Insist on a public meeting place.
• Tell a friend or family member where you're going.
• Take your cell phone.
• Consider having a friend accompany you.
• Trust your instincts.

For more information about personal safety online, check out these resources: http://getsafeonline.org, http://wiredsafety.org

original article posted here

Raped in Front of Her Son by a Man She Met Online

By Martin Fricker

He lured pair to flat before attack

A mother was raped in front of her young son by a man she met on the internet, police said yesterday.

The victim, 23, and her three-year-old boy were lured to the suspect's flat before she was knocked out and raped.

She had met the alleged attacker - known as "Derek" - on a number of occasions after they contacted each other online.

And she took her son with her when the pair agreed to meet close to the M2 motorway in Kent on Wednesday, September 30.

The woman then went with the mystery man to a block of flats in Sutton, South London.

As she drank a cup of tea, he punched her in the face, knocking her unconscious before raping her. Police said when the victim regained consciousness she managed to flee the apartment with her son.

Specialist officers worked with the victim to create an e-fit of the stocky predator.

And they hope an unusual "eagle design" on the spare wheel of his Land Rover may help track him down. A Scotland Yard spokesman said: "The suspect is described as white, in his late 40s and of muscular build.

"He called himself "Derek" and drove an old green Land Rover with a canvas roof. The spare wheel that is attached to the rear of the vehicle had a cover with an eagle design."

The incident is the latest in a series of attacks that have occurred after meetings arranged over the internet.

Last month, Ashleigh Hall, 17, was allegedly killed by a stranger she met on Facebook after telling her mum she was staying overnight with a friend.

And police yesterday revealed the trainee nurse - whose body was found on farmland in Sedgefield, Co Durham, 11 days ago - died after being suffocated.

Durham police said the death was "consistent with smothering".

Homeless Peter Chapman, 32, has been remanded in custody after being charged with the manslaughter and kidnap of the trainee nurse.

He is also charged with failing to give a new address under the Sex Offences Act.

original article here

Woman Terrified by Online Cyberstalker

Tiffany Eisler kicked her boyfriend out of her life last month, or so she thought.

A few weeks ago, a friend told her about a fake Facebook page in her name.

"Someone was pretending to be me, with naked pictures, with my phone number up," she said.

Eisler called 17 News to see if police can do anything to help.

She told reporter Anna Velasquez she met Kyle Walker online. Walker was living in Marin County, but within two months, he moved in with her in Bakersfield in late 2009.

In mid-April, a fight over the laundry turned violent.

"He just started kicking all the laundry everywhere," she said. "And, in the process I got kicked in the arm."

Eisler said Walker began to scare her.

"For the next hour or two he continued to tell me how he should beat the crap out of me and burn down my apartment," she said.

She texted her neighbor to call police, and Walker was arrested for spousal abuse and for fighting with the police who came to make the arrest.

She has not seen him since, but believes he is behind the cyber attack that's turned her life upside down.

The fake Facebook page had pictures she shared only with Walker, and the cell phone number Walker had.

"The number he thought he had," she pointed out. "I changed it last week."

Eisler also found more fake profile pages on other social networking sites, and in every case, it told people where they could find her.

"I'm still afraid to get on most sites on the Internet," she admitted. "I recently had to cancel my account with Café Mom because someone is stalking me on there."

Eisler believes her ex hacked into her email address and posed as her when he requested her electricity to be turned off. She lives in an apartment complex, and did not experience any power loss but the bills were going to her landlord.

Eisler saved everything she could when she found the fakes, including an instant-message dialogue she had with Walker Monday night. She asked him to leave her alone and Walker replied he did not know what she what talking about.

He also wrote, "If you think you are going through hell, get used to it, and get ready to go deeper."

That comment made Eisler fear for her safety and the safety of her kids. She is seeking a restraining order for when Walker returns to Kern County for his next court hearing.

Eisler has filed a report with Bakersfield Police about the online harassment, and now a detective has been assigned to the case.

17 News took Eisler's information to Supervising Deputy District Attorney Terry Pelton, who is well-versed in cyber law.

"If the facts are as presented, and if those facts can be proven, then several code sections have been violated," he said of Eisler's case.

Pelton said they are hacking (Penal Code 502.c.2), cyberstalking (PC 653.2), annoying through computer (PC 653m), and stalking (PC 646.9).

Pelton has successfully prosecuted a cyberstalking case where a Delano man created a fake profile of his ex-wife. Pelton said the man posed as the ex-wife and said she had a fantasy of wanting to be raped. The man also gave out the woman's phone number and address.

"Someone showed up at her door," he said.

What is happening to Eisler is not uncommon, and very dangerous, Pelton said.

"It encourages some real sicko out there to come find the woman."

Both the Bakersfield Police Department and Pelton encourage Eisler to keep saving proof of the online harassment.

Pelton also reminds the public of his rule of thumb for social networking: "If you post something you don't want to show your mother at the dinner table, don't post it."

original story here

Man Enlists Other Man Online to Rape His Wife

A man used the online advertising service Craigslist to enlist another man to rape his wife in the couple's home, police said Wednesday.

The 25-year-old North Carolina man faces first-degree rape and other charges. The press is not naming him to avoid identifying his wife, a victim of sexual assault.

His wife called police early Sunday morning and said a man with a knife raped her in the bedroom of their home in Kannapolis, about 25 miles northeast of Charlotte, authorities said. Her husband was in the room, police said. Their two young children were also home, but were unaware of what was happening, authorities said.

The husband sought someone in the ads to come to his home and have sex with his wife using "scare tactics," police said. It was without her knowledge or consent, police said.

Authorities are still investigating the identity of the man who attacked the woman and it wasn't known if the husband paid him to do it. The woman was not seriously injured, but was treated at a hospital and released.

Investigators turned their suspicions to the husband after his statement didn't add up and because there were no signs the attacker broke into the home. The husband was jailed Wednesday on $200,000 bond.

"We share the public's horror that such a crime was committed, and our heart goes out to the victim," said Craigslist spokeswoman Susan MacTavish Best.

The online classified site had been criticized for its "erotic services" section, which Craigslist agreed to do away with last month after a Boston medical student, deemed "the Craigslist killer," was charged with killing a woman he met on the site.

A Kansas City, Missouri, man was sentenced last month to 29 years in prison for raping a woman who advertised in the section.

SOURCE

Prostitute Held Hostage by Facebook Killer has Regrets

My guilt at letting that evil man walk free: Prostitute held hostage for 15 hours by Facebook killer speaks of regret

By James Slack and Paul Sims

A former prostitute who was held hostage by Facebook murderer Peter Chapman and repeatedly raped at knifepoint during a 15-hour ordeal has spoken of her bitter regret at allowing him to walk free.

The woman, who wishes to stay anonymous, was a 26-year-old drug addict when she was picked up in Liverpool's red light district by the serial sex attacker in 2003.

He took her to a squalid flat nearby where he raped her over and over again - threatening to kill her with a 12-inch knife if she refused to give in to his depraved demands.

Chapman, then 26, was already a high-risk sex offender. He was charged with kidnap and rape but when it came to a trial she could not bear to see his face again and the case collapsed.

In October last year the double rapist, who was jailed for seven years in 1996 for attacking two other prostitutes, lured 17-year-old Ashleigh Hall to her death after 'meeting' her on Facebook.

Chapman should have been monitored by the police but had been missing from his registered address in Liverpool for more than a year.

Yesterday, as Merseyside Police referred their supervision of Chapman to the Independent Police Complaints Commission, his earlier victim spoke of her regret at not being strong enough to face court. Had he been convicted it is likely he would still be in prison and Ashleigh still alive.

'I wish I'd gone through with the trial,' she told the Mail. 'When the police told me what he'd done my initial feeling was guilt. I felt I was kind of responsible for a young kid losing her life. I didn't deserve what happened to me, but at least I was an adult and I knew the dangers of what I was doing. She was a baby.'

'I'd come to see it as closure,' she said. 'I wanted to stand up in the witness box and look him in the eyes. That way he'd know that I was the one in control now.

'He's a horrible, twisted, evil little man who should never be let out again.'

When Chapman picked her up, they agreed a £60 fee for sex.

He drove her to a nearby block of flats. Once inside the shabby apartment he told her to undress. When she demanded payment first he pulled out a knife.

'He put silver-coloured duct tape over my mouth and tied my hands together with some more. I was crying and begging him not to do it, but he was so much stronger and taller than me. I was only about six-and-a-half stone then and wafer-thin.'

Within minutes he was raping her. Bizarrely, near the end of her ordeal he told her how sorry he was and that he had not meant to hurt her. He then raped her again.

Chapman forced his victim back into the car and dropped her off close to where he had picked her up.

Detectives were able to trace him from her description of the flat.

Chapman would later be downgraded from a high-risk sex offender to medium risk. He stayed in Liverpool and began a relationship with 25-year-old single mother Dyanne Littler.

Miss Littler, who has a son but not with Chapman, ended their relationship when she discovered he was on the sex offenders' register.

original article here

Online Dater Threatens to Rape Women

Cyberbully Nigel Wilson has been jailed for abusing women he met on a dating website.

A court heard Wilson identified vulnerable women, including several from the city and East Devon who cannot be named for legal reasons, who he then intimidated and abused over the internet and by phone.

Wilson had met and had brief flings with some of the five women and when they split up he poured "venom into their wounds" said a judge.

Wilson started a two-year jail term yesterday after he admitted one charge of harassment and four counts of sending grossly offensive, obscene, indecent or menacing messages.

Prosecutor Ann Hampshire submitted a report to Exeter Crown Court which said Wilson "desired to have sex with the women" and felt jealous and possessive towards them, and that turned to "nastiness".

David Evans, in mitigation, said: "He went on the website, Plenty of Fish, searching for love and a relationship but found the reality fell far short of the picture he allowed himself to paint in his mind."

Wilson, from Winkebury, Hampshire, pestered the women and then "put them in fear" by making vile comments about "raping them, hoping their children would die" and describing the women using offensive terms. He asked a young victim if she had a "high sex drive" and whether she "liked a lot of sex". When she rejected his advances, he used a racially offensive term to describe her. The victim was in court and was in tears as she gave evidence.

He also abused another woman when their "fling" came to an end, threatening to "stab her" and "rape her" which left her extremely frightened.

Mrs Hampshire said all the victims were members of the Plenty of Fish dating website and Wilson used different usernames to dish out "appalling abuse".

Judge Stephen Wildblood QC jailed Wilson and also made a Sexual Offences Prevention Order and Restraining Order for an unlimited period.

original article here

Woman Posts Explicit Pics Online for Sex - Then Cries Rape

A woman who posted explicit photographs of herself on the web and then falsely claimed a man she met online had raped her has been jailed for nine months.

Beverley Stephenson's false allegation sparked a full police investigation, including house-to-house inquiries, a poster campaign, and a press appeal.

Stephenson, 42, from Horden, Sunderland, admitted perverting the course of justice between April 5 and May 14, last year.

Judge John Evans, passing sentence, said: 'People who make false allegations such as these undermine the criminal justice system, and there are serious implications for genuine victims.

'Your fabricated claims completely undermined the investigation into your own allegation of rape.'

He added: 'All of this is of your own making. You could have called a halt to it at any time. I am told you have psychological and other difficulties, but they cannot excuse what you did.'

Stephenson wept as she was jailed and had to be helped from the dock as she was led away.

Prosecutor Amanda Rippon said Stephenson initially told police she did not know the identity of her alleged attacker.

She later falsely indicated he might have been a member of a family with whom she had fallen out.

'Her accounts resulted in the arrest and questioning of three men,' Mrs Rippon added. 'At least two of the men were kept in custody for several hours.

'Each of the men said being implicated, albeit wrongly, in a rape has caused them embarrassment and difficulties with their own friends and families.'

Police became suspicious of Stephenson when she claimed hair pulled from her head in the attack actually came from her hairbrush.

The court heard she had sex in her lounge with the man she met online, but the evidence suggested it was consensual.

Alexia Zimbler, defending, said: 'This is an unusual case in that Ms Stephenson still maintains she was raped.

'But she accepts the way in which she misled the police made it impossible for that allegation to be properly investigated.

'She was ashamed and embarrassed by the way she met this man, and feared the police would not believe her or take her seriously if she told the truth about that.'

original article here

THE NET MERGES SEX PREDATORS & PIMPS

(We are posting this because this 'mindset' of exploitation applies to many Cyberpaths. It often starts with online porn and escalates to cyberpathy.

Online Predators can be Sexual Predators
remember gridney / Yidwithlid? - who tried to seduce his 'friends' or their friends; turning normal women into free cyberwhores by promising them love and emotional fulfillment, in addition to buying & using high-price prostitutes on his lunch hour?

and Charles Ed Hicks - who sexually seduced women, married some, conned them all out of money a, was a serial bigamist and con man?

Or Dan Jacoby, who plays the 'hero' to women in recovery from prescription drugs - until they find him on SEX FORUMS, with multiple online partners (he smears them to each other, they are all "obsessed" or "scorned" LOL!!) he videotapes them without their knowledge - and is still FULLY MARRIED (no Divorce, ladies!!)

Nathan Thomas? With a wife on every continent for free food, lodging and sex?

These sexual predators and their sick treatment of those they prey on sexually & emotionally - just further their mindset that their targets are "objects" to be used and thrown away - and this carries into their online 'relationships' as well.

This article gives a horrifying but very REAL assessment of these men and the damage they cause.... and much of the misogyny can be extended to male Cyberpaths as well. - Fighter)
~~~~
The Internet and Web, as communication tools, enable men to merge the role of predators and pimps. They extend their experiences of buying women and children by writing about it and sharing it with other predators. (see TER for one such site) Texts, images and videos that describe or show the exploitation or abuse of a woman or child can be shared online with the world.

No longer isolated, men can reach out to find a community of like-minded predators on the Internet. Through this online community, they can share their experiences and gain validation for their behavior. They can engage in amateur pimping by advising others on how and where to prey on women and children all over the world.

(Gridney/ Yidwithlid was caught on TER and looking for casual sex partners since 2000 and rating the whores he'd been with for other men! AMATEUR PIMPING! He's still trying desperately to erase it all and deny it ever happened or blame his victims for 'planting it.' And now we hear he's on Twitter - watching the feeds of abused women just looking for another 'in' with some trusting, naive woman - LOL!)

Predators Report on Their Exploitation of Women and Children
The oldest forum on the Internet for promoting the sexual exploitation of women and children is the newsgroup alt.sex.services (renamed alt.sex.prostitution). Its "aim is to create market transparency for sex related services" (Atta and M., World Sex Guide, June 1997). Postings from this newsgroup are archived into a World Wide Web site called The World Sex Guide, which provides "comprehensive, sex-related information about every country in the world." The guide includes information and advice from men who have bought women and children on where and how to find and buy prostituted women and children in seventy countries from seven world regions (Africa, Asia, Oceania, Europe, North America, Central America and the Caribbean, and South America). For each country, if known, the age of consent is reported. The slogan of The World Sex Guide in 1996 was "F*ckers of the world unite!" It became "Where do you want to f*ck today?" in 1997; and in 1998, took on the more pretentious title of "A research project about prostitution worldwide."[4]

The men go on to describe, often in graphic detail, their experiences of ...using women. These are not sexual fantasies as can be found in other alt.sex newsgroups (and websites) on the Internet. These are real experiences often backed up by the women or brothels themselves. (Yidwithlid - perfect example)


In the men's writings, the women are completely objectified and evaluated on everything from skin color to presence of scars and firmness of their flesh. Women's receptiveness and compliance to men buyers is also rated. The men buying women and posting the information see and perceive the events only from their self-interested perspective.

Men who have bought women (escorts) and children in prostitution write-up their experiences for postings on the newsgroups, websites and an archive The World Sex Guide. They do not appear to have a commercial interest in the prostitution. They are writing for a peer group of men who buy women and girls in prostitution. They share their experiences and give each other advice and information on where to go to find women and girls and what they might expect in that particular city or establishment.

The graphic descriptions of men’s buying experiences are also a form of pornography on the Internet. The scope and detail of this exchange is completely unprecedented.
Some of the men posting information on the alt.sex.prostitution newsgroup are quite straightforward about their misogyny and sadism. Some men claim to "love" prostitutes, but their words reveal their true hatred of women. The descriptions of the women are usually callous, with disregard for the women as human beings. To these men the women are literally sexual objects to be bought for a few minutes at the prices they can bargain for or listed.

(U.S. sites include: www.theeroticreview.***, www.utopiaguide.***, www.eroticy.***, www.escort-finder.***)

Predators Take Turns with One Woman
This rapid publishing electronic medium has enabled men to buy individual women. Men can go out, buy a woman, go home, and acting like amateur pimps, post the details on a newsgroup or website. In 24 hours, anyone in the world with an Internet connection can read about it and often have enough information to find the same woman.
For example, in Nevada, USA, where prostitution is legal, a man bought a woman called "Honey." He wrote about his experience and told other men the name of the brothel where "Honey" could be found. Within a couple of weeks other men went and bought "Honey" themselves and posted their experiences to the newsgroup. Within a short period of time men were having a cyberorgy of male bonding by describing what each of them did to her. Men are keeping a special Web site for men to post their experiences of buying this one woman.[21] Additional Web pages have been created for "Monique" and "Katherine," who can be bought at legal brothels in Nevada.

To my knowledge this public documentation and exposure of buying an individual women is unknown before Internet communication. The implications for this type of exchange in a fast-publishing, easily accessible medium like the Internet are very serious for the sexual exploitation of women in the future.
SOME DEFINITIONS

Sexual Exploitation
A practice by which a person achieves sexual gratification, financial gain or advancement through the abuse or exploitation of a person’s sexuality by abrogating that person’s human right to dignity, equality, autonomy, and physical and mental well-being; i.e. trafficking, prostitution, prostitution tourism, mail-order-bride trade, pornography, stripping, battering, incest, rape and sexual harassment. Sexual exploitation preys on women and children made vulnerable by poverty and economic development policies and practices. Sexual exploitation violates the human rights of anyone subjected to it, whether female or male, adult or child, Northern or Southern.

Predator
One who exploits conditions of inequality to buy, manipulate and/or abuse for personal sexual satisfaction those with less power, e.g. john, punter, buyer, client, customer, hobbyist, monger, trick, pedophile, rapist, sex offender, child molester, pornographer. (or CYBERPATH!)

Sex industry
The collection of legal and illegal businesses and single and multi-party operations that profit from the sexual exploitation of women, children, and sometimes, men in trafficking, organized prostitution, and/or pornography; e.g. brothels, massage parlors, bars, strip clubs, mail-order-bride agencies, escort services, massage parlors, prostitution tour agencies, "adult entertainment," "adult" bookstores, pornographic Web sites.

(What starts as mere curiousity in porn, leads to cyberpathy, posting on dating sites "out of curiousity" and leads to a mindset of using other people for sex while throwing seductive words like "love" or "connection" at them when what they are really doing is using emotional rape to commit physical rape, sometimes fraud & bigamy - all without the other person even realizing what's been done to them - Fighter)

EXCERPTED FROM THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE

THE INTERNET ESCORT'S HANDBOOK