Online Daters Burned by Lies

ONLINE DATING CAN BE DANGEROUS

An estimated 40 million Americans use online dating services hoping to meet "the one." There are more than 1,400 Web sites in the $700 million a year business, but some question their safety.

Prosecutors say a Philadelphia nursing student was conning women on match.com. He was convicted in 2007 of assault, but the accusations don't end there. His victims, described as attractive, ambitious professionals say their lives will never be the same.

Prosecutors said Jeffrey Marsalis, 34, told some tall tales, pretending to be a doctor, an astronaut and even a spy to lure women on Internet dating sites.

"He faces up to 20 years in prison and he will have to register as a sexual offender for the rest of his life," said prosecutor Joe Khan.

Marsalis was convicted of sexual assault. However, he was acquitted of more serious charges that he drugged and then raped seven women in his apartment.

"You read about it, you see it on TV but you just don't think it can happen to you," one anonymous victim said.

She said she knows about tricksters like Jeffrey Marsalis and how easy it is to be duped online. According to her, a man she met on a Christian dating Web site was seeing 60 other women from 25 different Web sites. He pretended to be everything from a country music manager to a Pentagon consultant. He even lied about having cancer, she said.

She claims he stole thousands of dollars from his victims.

"Mentally, it just about broke me to think that I had been so naive, when I don't consider myself to be a very naive person," she said. "And of course, I was worried about my safety." She may have good reason to be. Dozens of Internet dating cases have ended in tragedy. And experts said it's only getting worse.

"Men especially are getting are getting bolder as far as using dating Web sites to find their next victim," said Jayne Hitchcock, who is working to halt online abuse.

"Most of these women will tell you that they had a bad feeling about it but they went ahead with it because the person the man had a wonderful profile," Hitchcock said. "He was charming."

One victim said it was loneliness that clouded her judgment.

"Victims are victims because somebody is looking to exploit their weakness," she said. "And it doesn't matter if you're doctor. It doesn't matter if you're an accountant."

She said she wants women to trust their instincts because she didn't trust her own. About 35 percent of daters admit they lie about themselves online, according to a survey research study by Jeana Frost of Boston University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. (Though the real number is probably MUCH higher!)

ORIGINAL ARTICLE

WOMAN LIES ABOUT RAPE BY ONLINE DATE

(U.S.A.) A Tennessee woman was charged with filing a false rape claim after she admitted to police that she only did so because she 'didn't enjoy' their date.

Twenty-seven-year-old Lynette Lee told detectives in Clarksville, Tennessee that the unidentified man never actually raped her, and that she made the whole story up to get back at him for what she thought was a bad date.   Lee was charged with filing a false police report and held on a $2,000 bond.

Lee initially told police officers from a hospital that she was raped by a man she met on the online dating site Meetme.com.  Per her story, the two had agreed to meet up.

She then told authorities that the two of them went to an unknown location, where the man then removed his clothes and forced her to have sex with him, despite her desire not to.

Investigating the story, police interviewed the man, who promptly told them that the allegations against him were not true. He said that he did indeed meet with Lee and on the second date they had consensual sex. The man also said that they had a good time and made further arrangements to meet again.

Police then called in Lee who again told officers the same story as before. But shortly after, she asked them to drop the case and admitted that the incident had been completely fabricated.

Police said Lee told them she made up the story 'because she did not enjoy it and it was bad.'

ORIGINAL ARTICLE FOUND HERE

The Internet's Five SCARIEST Seducers

Dimitri the Lover is a man with a seduction manual to sell. (Men with "seduction manuals" are the new twentysomething-girl "sex columnists"!) We introduced you to him yesterday, via his awesome "If you're on any sort of medication for anxiety or depression, I'm not interested" voicemail. As the weekend is fast approaching—and because we're not afraid to be servicey—we've gone ahead and compiled a shortlist to some of the worst daters roaming the bars and streets, completely unfettered by shame.

# 1. Dimitri the Lover: We were just introduced to this gentleman yesterday via two long and self-involved voicemails that the Greek stud left to an "elegant" lady. He's "very single," has "no trouble meeting women; I mean, women approach me six or seven times a day. But I'm extremely particular about what I like." In the second, more threatening voicemail, he adds that, "I'm giving you the three o'clock deadline. If I don't hear from you by then, you lose my number—I'm erasing your number right now, so you won't be hearing back from me."

# 2. Prescott Hahn: We still barely know who the infamous "Fashion Meets Finance" "hedge-fund" dater even is. But simply attending such a themed douche-dating event gives us pause. A long pause.


# 3. Paul Janka: The creepy sexual compulsive's fetish is picking up women on the street, in the subway, or—and here lies his genius—in his apartment. (First dates typically take place here.) Unfortunately, his little games have taken a turn for the dark side and we're hoping someone brings him up on charges.

# 4. The Craiglist Cash-Waver: Aw, he's not that bad, really. We admire any man who proudly poses in over a dozen Craigslist personal-ad pics wearing shutter shades and waving a cash-fan. But then he encouraged us to mock him further in an epic phone call to our office, which was recorded for posterity.

# 5. John Fitzgerald Page: By now we're all familiar with the man who proudly carried the title "the worst person in the world;" he carried his hubristic Match.com gaffe ("6 pictures of just your head and your inability to answer a simple question lets me know one thing. You are not in shape") into fame and fortune. Well, mostly just an appearance on CNN and the Dr. Phil Show.

ORIGINAL

THANKS TO ONE OF SEVEN FROM OUR SISTER SITE 'FIGHT BIGAMY' FOR THIS FIND!

SEX PREDATORS ON ONLINE DATING SERVICES

DID THEY ASK YOU FOR "PICTURES" (sexual in nature)? DID THEY ASK ABOUT YOUR SEXUAL HISTORY? BE WARNED!!!


A warning to single, divorced or separated persons about sex offenders, sex predators and sex addicts who may be using online dating services to find potential victims. The warning comes after a child advocacy group, Parent's for Megan's Law, received anonymous emails that a convicted child molestor named Michael Bradley was using online dating service Match.com. The advocacy group set up a sting, posting a fake profile of a mother of two boys and emailing Bradley. He responded, which is a violation of his parole. As a result, Bradley's computer was confiscated and he faces the possibility of having his parole revoked.

“It is the responsibility of consumers to protect their safety and that of their families, so do not rely on the assurances of dating sites that attempt to screen out predators,” said Dr. James Houran, spokesperson and feature columnist for Online Dating Magazine. “The best protection is to use your head in matters of the heart. Do not get so caught up in the excitement of online dating that you are not constantly alert – instead assume everyone online is a potential predator.”

Online Dating Magazine recommends the following five tips that parents should follow when using an online dating service: 1) Never post photos of your children in your profile or anywhere online. 2) While indicating that you are a single parent on your profile is ok, don’t talk about your children in your profile. 3) Don’t mention what gender or ages your children are. 4) If you’re dating someone, wait several months – until you are more serious – before introducing your date to your children. 5) Run a background and sex offender check on the person you’re dating before introducing them to your children or getting serious about them!  

Online Dating Magazine recommends that online daters take a cautious approach to online dating. The publication has a list of online dating safety tips on their site at http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com. About Online Dating Magazine Online Dating Magazine is a consumer watchdog publication for online daters. Located at http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com.

EOPC DOES NOT RECOMMEND ONLINE DATING OR SOCIAL NETWORKING FOR ANYONE AT ANY TIME FOR ANY REASON, EVER!

Do You Google Those You Meet Online?

Nearly two-thirds of daters use Facebook, Google and LinkedIn to scope out potential matches.

Online dating may no longer be taboo, but there's still the nagging question of safety associated with meeting someone over the internet.

Sure, some dating websites may begin screening their users, but in the land of "I'm-a-20-something-who-can't-pay-for-a-membership-or-for-your-fancy-background-checks" there's another alternative: total internet recon.

Yes, Google searching and Facebook stalking is good for more than just tracking the news on your former flames. In fact, the folks at JDate conducted a poll of their members to find out just how they gather information before meeting their online-interest in person.

Of the nearly 500 users surveyed, a whopping 59 percent of them use a combination of Facebook, Google and LinkedIn for investigative purposes. This makes a lot of sense—scan some photos, look for red flags in your search results and make sure your date has been honest about their work history. (note: if you find NOTHING - be suspicious. Better yet, don't meet people online.)

Some still stick to one platform—27 percent use Facebook only, 13 percent use Google only—but some searching is done nonetheless.

Now, the concept of "online stalking" is nothing new, but I must convey some words of caution for all of you research-crazy daters out there. Yes, knowledge is power, but don't spoil all of the mystery. Try and limit your pre-date investigation to a few basic questions. Ask yourself: Will I feel safe? Is this person an axe murderer? Is he going to dress like Marty McFly? Once you've squared all of that away, leave some room for on-the-date discovery. (and only meet in public the first few times)


(This would only work if the 'date' was using their REAL name and REAL location/ job - EOPC)

original article here

Internet Con Man Dupes Mothers into Abusing Their Kids

By JEFF KAROUB

(MICHIGAN, USA) In real life, Steven Demink didn't have children, a college degree or a lasting career. Online, prosecutors say, he presented himself as Dalton St. Clair, an attractive single father and psychologist — a fantasy image authorities say the Michigan man used to persuade mothers across the country to commit unspeakable acts on their children.

Demink, 41, of Redford Township, preyed on single mothers for more than a year, prosecutors say, convincing them to sexually assault their children as a form of therapy. After pleading guilty Monday to six charges related to the sexual exploitation of children, Demink faces 15 years to life in prison when he is sentenced in June.

Demink's alter-ego was a single father of a 14-year-old girl, prosecutors said, and he posted pictures of male models as his headshots. In some cases, court documents say, Demink promised the women a date if they followed through with his directions.

Since authorities arrested him in October, seven children were rescued and at least three mothers have been arrested. Prosecutors say all of the children are now safe.

Authorities say Demink chatted with mothers from New Hampshire, Florida, Idaho and elsewhere, persuading them to engage in sexual acts with their children and send images via e-mail or through a live web stream. The children ranged in age from 3 to 15.

Demink told U.S. District Judge Gerald Rosen that before his arrest, he worked as a car salesman for about six months and before that for about five years at a local bank. He said he completed a U.S. Customs and Border Protection training program in 2002 and worked for the Immigration and Naturalization Service for about a year. He attended college for about two years but did not earn a degree, he said.

As part of his plea agreement with prosecutors, seven charges against Demink were dropped.

In one case, Demink started online chats with an Oregon woman about the sexual development of her 8-year-old autistic son, according to the plea agreement. He told her to engage in sexually explicit conduct with her son as a way to teach him about sex, prosecutors say, and she did so while Demink watched on a web camera.

"Demink intimated to these women that the result of the therapy would be healthier children," the document said.

Federal agents were tipped off to his operation by the Teton County Sheriff's Office in Idaho, said Khaalid Walls, a spokesman for the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement Office of Homeland Security Investigations. The mother of a woman who had been chatting with him called sheriff's officials in late 2009.

A Teton County Sheriff's Office report from December 2009 said the Idaho woman met "Daltonst28" on an online dating site called singleparentmeet.com. She told police she performed sex acts on her young son as directed by her online male friend.

The woman's mother, Eileen Schwab of Idaho, said she knows little of how Demink convinced her daughter to follow his orders. She said her daughter was "depressed and lonesome" after her divorce.

"I don't know how he wrangled her in," Schwab said. "She could have turned off the computer and gone the other way. He must have had a power over her."

Her daughter pleaded guilty last May to lewd conduct with a child under 16 and is currently in prison.

Another mother who was arrested was from New Hampshire and pleaded guilty in December to producing child pornography, which carries a possible sentenced of 15 to 30 years in prison. She is scheduled to be sentenced in March. A message was left seeking comment from Larry Dash, a federal defender representing her.

A woman from Lee County, Fla., also has pleaded not guilty to five counts and was being held without bond in Florida. She faces a May trial in federal court in Fort Myers, federal defender Martin DerOvanesian said.

Prosecutors say Demink also is linked to four other mothers in Indiana, Georgia, Illinois and Oregon but has not been charged with crimes related to those communications. Assistant U.S. Attorney Kevin Mulcahy said those cases can be considered during sentencing.

We are not naming the women to protect the identity of the children.

Demink's attorney, Timothy Dinan, said his client "has expressed a lot of remorse" for what he did and has taken responsibility by pleading guilty. Dinan said Demink's parents, who declined to be interviewed, are praying for their son as well as the victims and their families.

"It's a shame he couldn't ask for help," Dinan said.

Connecticut, USA Says Online Dating is Dangerous

Anyone looking for love online knows that the person on the other end of an online connection might not be who he or she says they are.

In Connecticut, this is becoming a political issue.

While most of the 20 million people who use online dating services are looking for a relationship, there are other cases where women have been sexual assaulted or scammed.

It is to prevent this that State Rep. Mae Flexer, a Democrat representing Killingly, Plainfield and Sterling [counties], introduced her bill.

“Sexual predators now have a new tool to find victims — internet dating websites,” Flexer told the General Law Committee on Tuesday. “We have a responsibility as lawmakers to amend our laws to reflect technological changes and protect our citizens.”

Flexer’s bill that would require online dating sites that charge fees to provide safety tips and advice to make dating, online and off, safer.

“Currently, one in five Connecticut residents has experienced sexual assault. My bill is a sensible solution to inform potential customers of the risks involved with using these sites and help protect women,” Flexer said.

She is asking for advice including:

• Don't put your last name, e-mail address, home address, phone number, place of work, photo or any other identifying information in your Internet [Facebook] profile or initial e-mail messages.
• If someone pressures you for personal or financial information or attempts in any way to trick you into revealing it, end the communication.
• When you plan to meet face-to-face, always tell someone in your family or a friend where you are going and when you will return.
• Never agree to be picked up at your home. Always provide your own transportation to and from your date and meet in a public place with several people around.

Flexer’s bill, if approved, Connecticut would become the third state to regulate internet dating sites, after New York and New Jersey.

The General Law Committee will vote on the bill in the coming weeks.

original article here

Temporary Phone Numbers Stop Cyberstalkers

A mother appalled by online dating stories from divorced friends is set to become a millionaire after launching a unique website to protect women from cyber-stalkers.

Last week model Kelly Brook revealed how she is forced to constantly change her phone number because she is targeted by nuisance calls.

But 52-year-old Gill Kamel's patented site can instantly create a temporary number for your mobile - which diverts to your current phone - to hand out to strangers, safe in the knowledge they don't know what your actual number is.

And if they turn out to be odd-balls you merely shut down that number, create a fresh one and hand that out to your next new dates or friends.

Her site www.losemynumber.co.uk is deemed such an important new tool to protect men and women on the internet that it has been singled out for praise by the Suzy Lamplugh Trust. The organisation promotes personal safety.

Married mother-of-two Gill, of Ormskirk, Lancs, said she hopes that no more women should endure stress or fear by simply searching for love or companionship.

She said: 'Internet dating and social networking is a fantastic new way for people to reach out and make new friends - but there are always people out there who are not all they seem and we take so much on trust.

'Hopefully Lose My Number will give people more confidence, feeling safe in the knowledge they are not letting their guard down too much.'

She revealed how many of her friends have joined the growing statistic of divorced couples, estimated at over 120,000 a year in the UK alone.

She said: 'Like myself, a lot of my friends met their husbands at school.

'So none of us had much experience of going out and meeting men. Now, quite a few of them are divorced and are always telling me how difficult they're finding dating.

'But all the rules are different. At what point do you give out your phone number or address?

'Your personal number can give away a lot of personal information about you, not least your home address. There needed to be a safer way to give out your details.

'When one of my employees told me she had been harassed over the phone by a man after trying to sell some old designer clothes on eBay, that was when I decided I had to set up Lose My Number.

'She called the police to let them know what had happened and their only advice was to cancel her phone contract and get a new number. Some people go through the hassle of buying pay-as-you-go phones.

'I realised that there must be a better alternative - I looked around and no-one was providing a quick and easy way to get alternative numbers.'

Mrs Gill has worked in the property and mortgage industry with husband Melvyn for 30 years, up until April of this year when the brainwave saw her create Lose My Number.

After hearing her friend's awful experience with an eBay stalker, she and a few friends decided to test out how easy it was for women to be pressurised into giving out their mobile.

Posing as single women they joined several dating sites and within ten minutes Gill alone had 65 men asking her for her contact details.

Realising what people needed she got advice from IT specialists and launched her site in April this year thinking it would be a minor web aid.

Now it has customers in 194 towns and cities in the UK and abroad and advisors from her regional Government-backed development agency project that her 'High Growth Business' will sweep Europe and America, with the 'potential' to be worth more than £10million.

Her site works by simply typing in your mobile number - and it sends you back a new number starting with '070'.

Your original number will still continue to work, but now you can have up to ten 'follow-me' numbers that will also be diverted through to your mobile.

There is no charge for the customer as people ringing the '070' number do so for 50p a minute, so the service is perfect for making short, initial chats to check the person you meet online really is who they say they are.

You can shut down any '070' number you create at any time if the caller turns out to be a nuisance.

She said: 'No other website can do what we do.

'We have already had a lot of interest from other companies wanting to take the idea abroad - we are still very new but growing every week.'

Her creation has already won praise from one respected organisation - the Suzy Lamplugh Trust, set up following the tragic disappearance of 25 year-old estate agent Suzy in 1986.

Jo Walker at the Trust, said: 'It's so important to take some basic safety precautions when meeting new people, whether that's online, at a party or in a club.

'It's always wiser to avoid giving new acquaintances any of your contact details, such as phone number, until you know them better.

'In the meantime use a service like Lose My Number, which is designed specifically to help people feel more secure and have extra peace of mind when meeting new people.'

Kelly Brook recently revealed that she gets so much male attention she has to change her mobile phone number regularly in a bid to avoid being bombarded with calls.

She said: 'Men ask so I give it out. I’m quite approachable. I have to change my number every couple of months because I give it to anybody who asks for it.

'Then they all keep calling me and I change it.'

Man Pleads Guilty to Online Dating Scam

A man who lied about being rich and important has pleaded guilty to stealing nearly $200,000 from women he met through online dating services.

Westchester County, New York - District Attorney Janet DiFiore says Solomon Jesus Nasser of Ardsley pleaded guilty Thursday to third-degree grand larceny.

DiFiore says Nasser "trolled Internet dating sites" for nearly three years looking for victims.

Among other things, he claimed he'd been a high-level Department of Defense official, an adviser to President George W. Bush, a Navy admiral and a multimillionaire who owned a jet.

He had said he had cash flow problems due to legal issues and asked for loans to cover living expenses.

Nasser faces up to seven years in prison when he's sentenced Oct. 27. He's also being ordered to pay restitution.

original article here