The Internet's Five SCARIEST Seducers

Dimitri the Lover is a man with a seduction manual to sell. (Men with "seduction manuals" are the new twentysomething-girl "sex columnists"!) We introduced you to him yesterday, via his awesome "If you're on any sort of medication for anxiety or depression, I'm not interested" voicemail. As the weekend is fast approaching—and because we're not afraid to be servicey—we've gone ahead and compiled a shortlist to some of the worst daters roaming the bars and streets, completely unfettered by shame.

# 1. Dimitri the Lover: We were just introduced to this gentleman yesterday via two long and self-involved voicemails that the Greek stud left to an "elegant" lady. He's "very single," has "no trouble meeting women; I mean, women approach me six or seven times a day. But I'm extremely particular about what I like." In the second, more threatening voicemail, he adds that, "I'm giving you the three o'clock deadline. If I don't hear from you by then, you lose my number—I'm erasing your number right now, so you won't be hearing back from me."

# 2. Prescott Hahn: We still barely know who the infamous "Fashion Meets Finance" "hedge-fund" dater even is. But simply attending such a themed douche-dating event gives us pause. A long pause.


# 3. Paul Janka: The creepy sexual compulsive's fetish is picking up women on the street, in the subway, or—and here lies his genius—in his apartment. (First dates typically take place here.) Unfortunately, his little games have taken a turn for the dark side and we're hoping someone brings him up on charges.

# 4. The Craiglist Cash-Waver: Aw, he's not that bad, really. We admire any man who proudly poses in over a dozen Craigslist personal-ad pics wearing shutter shades and waving a cash-fan. But then he encouraged us to mock him further in an epic phone call to our office, which was recorded for posterity.

# 5. John Fitzgerald Page: By now we're all familiar with the man who proudly carried the title "the worst person in the world;" he carried his hubristic Match.com gaffe ("6 pictures of just your head and your inability to answer a simple question lets me know one thing. You are not in shape") into fame and fortune. Well, mostly just an appearance on CNN and the Dr. Phil Show.

ORIGINAL

THANKS TO ONE OF SEVEN FROM OUR SISTER SITE 'FIGHT BIGAMY' FOR THIS FIND!

INSIDE THE ABUSIVE MIND

"..the narcissistic abuser often picks energetic, loving, successful, passionate people. They seek out in others, what they lack, then begin the process of appropriating what the other has for themselves. In this sense they are true emotional vampires, robbing their victims of their personality, they energy, their passion for life - metaphorically killing them.

Their preferred method though, in the end, is to have the victim self-destruct, allowing them to walk away in triumph seeking sympathy for what they've had to endure with this 'crazy person'."

(edited slightly for cyberpaths)
Abusive people (such as cyberpaths) typically think they are unique, so different from other people that they don't have to follow the same rules as everyone else. But actually, abusers have a lot in common with one another and share a great many thinking patterns and behaviors.

These may include:

Success Fantasies: The abuser believes in fantasies of being rich, famous, or extremely successful in other terms if only other people weren't holding him back. They're blocking the way makes the abuser feel justified in getting back at them, including through abuse. The abuser also puts other people down as a way of building himself up. Beckstead - prime example!

Blaming: The abuser shifts responsibility for actions to others, which allows the abuser to be angry at the other person for "causing" the behavior. Cyberpath example: "If you wouldn't "tempt me" I wouldn't beg you for intimate photos, cybersex or send you dirty pictures.."

Redefining: The abuser redefines the situation so that the problem lies not with the abuser but with others or the outside world. Cyberpath example: My wife/ partner doesn't love me; won't have sex with me; makes me feel bad - anyway... so I need to turn to you (and net porn) for relief. My boss stresses me out... so I take it out on you (victim) at the computer.

Making Fools of Others: The abuser combines tactics to manipulate others. The tactics include lying, upsetting the other person just to watch her reactions, and provoking a fight between or among others. The Cyberpath may try to charm the person he wants to manipulate, pretending a great deal of interest in and concern for that person in order to get on her good side. (love bombing, coercion, manipulation, brainwashing, anchoring lies)

Assuming: Abusive people often assume they know what others are thinking or feeling. Their assumption allows them to justify their behavior because they "know" what the other person would think or do in a given situation. Cyberpath example: "I knew you'd be mad because I didn't come online when you asked, so I figured I might as well stay away for a week..."

Emotional Dependence: Abusive individuals are usually very emotionally dependent on their partner. The result of their inner rage at being dependent means that the abuser acts in controlling ways to exert power and to deny their own weakness. (If they are having net affairs they may take out their rage on the new victim rather than the spouse - knowing the person they are cheating with has no one to tell without revealing the net affair!)

One major symptom is strong jealousy and possessive actions, normally sexual in nature. Another sign of dependence is the effect of what happens when the abused person leaves the relationship because of the abuse. It is common for the abuser to make extraordinary attempts to persuade them to return.

Lying: The abuser manipulates by lying to control information. The abuser may also use lying to keep other people, including the victim, off-balance psychologically. For example: The abuser tries to appear truthful when actually lying, or tries to look deceitful when actually telling the truth.

Rigid Application of Traditional Sex Attitudes: Abusive persons tend to have more inflexible beliefs about roles and functions of the opposite sex. The man may expect the woman to over fulfill all the household and mothering chores and to be very submissive and subservient.

Drama and Excitement: Abusive people have trouble experiencing close, satisfying relationships. They substitute drama and excitement (sex? playing games with people's heads & emotions?) for closeness. Abusive people find it exciting to watch others become angry, get into fights, or fall into a general uproar. Often, they'll use a combination of tactics to set up an exciting situation.

Closed Channel: The abusive person does not tell much about personal details and real feelings. The abuser is not open to new information about himself either, such as someone else's thoughts about them personally. The abuser is secretive, close-minded and self-righteous. Abusers believe they are right in all situations.

Ownership: The abuser typically is very possessive. Moreover, the abuser believes that anything that is wanted should be owned, and that the abuser can do as wanted with anything that is his. The same attitude applies to people. It justifies controlling others' behavior, physically hurting them, smearing their character, stalking, hacking their computers and taking things that belong to them.

Poor Anger Management: Individuals who have experienced a violent and abusive childhood are more likely to grow up and become spouse abusers or abused people themselves. A person who sees violence, even verbal or emotional violence, as the primary method for settling differences as a child is not going to have very many alternate ways available to channel anger. A person without an everyday outlet for anger risks exploding toward the people closest to them.

Minimizing: The abuser ducks responsibility for abusive actions by trying to make them seem less important than they are. Cyberpath example: "Everything I said online wasn't that bad", or "You took what I said the wrong way."

Fragmentation: The abuser usually keeps the abusive behavior separate from the rest of his life. The separation is physical; for example, the abuser will seduce and malign people online but not in real life.

The separation is also psychological; for example, it is not uncommon for an abuser to attend church Sunday morning and abuse his victim Sunday night. The abuser sees no inconsistency in this behavior and feels justified in it.

Above the Rules: As mentioned earlier, abusers generally believe they are better than other people and so don't have to follow the rules that ordinary people do. That attitude is typical of convicted criminals, too. Each inmate usually believes that while all the other inmates are criminals, he is not. An abuser shows above-the-rules thinking in saying, "I don't need counseling. Nobody knows as much about my life as I do. I can handle my life without help from anybody." (they usually only go to counseling when caught, as a way to say - "I straightened my life out - its ok now", then go RIGHT BACK TO COVERTLY ABUSING)

Self-glorification: The abuser usually thinks of himself as strong, superior, independent, self-sufficient, and very virile. When anyone says or does anything that doesn't fit this glorified self-image, the abuser takes it as an insult.

Inability to express feelings with words: This type of person is rarely capable of true intimacy and may feel very threatened by the prospect of being open and vulnerable. Particularly when frustrated, the abusive person expects instant gratification from their partner who is expected to "read" their mind and "know" what their mate wants. When the mate doesn't know what is expected the partner may interpret this as meaning they do not really love them. Therefore with an abusive individual, rejection = violence (verbal, physical, emotional). (if they do genuinely express themselves its generally a sarcastic remark, a putdown or anger)

Vagueness: Thinking and speaking vaguely or selectively skewing facts lets the abuser avoid responsibility. Cyberpath Example: "I'm working, I can't chat right now." (Working on OTHER VICTIMS??)

ORIGINAL ARTICLE FROM THIS GREAT SITE

HOW DOES A CYBERPATH LEARN TO BE A CYBERPATH?

"the way they interact with others makes them extremely potent manipulators. How potent? So potent that their powers of manipulation are spooky and seem downright magical.

"How does the way they interact with others make them such expert manipulators? Because practice makes perfect, and they have been practicing the art of manipulation in every interaction since birth.

"Indeed, in playing to the mirror of your face, that's what they're doing, isn't it? Manipulating you. Everything they say and do is entirely for effect, to get the reaction they want from you. That IS manipulation.

"They're regulating, manipulating your reactions. But you aren't like them. Your reactions come from within. So, what are they ultimately regulating and manipulating? Your thoughts. Manipulation is mind control.

"Manipulation is a subtle thing. So subtle that we are usually unaware of being manipulated, unless the manipulator blows it and breaks the spell. So, manipulators are putting thoughts into our heads that we think are ours. A very dangerous thing.

"Since a narcissistic cyberpath isn't acting on normal human premises, since all he is doing is playing you for the reaction he wants, truth is irrelevant. Truth or lies — it's all the same to him. Whichever works. Usually that's lies.

"It would be more correct to say that there is no such thing as truth to a narcissistic cyberpath. Because there is no such thing as truth when playing Pretend. That's why narcissists and psychopaths beat lie detector tests. (In fact, so do many people from "shame" cultures where lying to save face of oneself, one's family, one's tribe, and one's religion is considered morally necessary and expected.)

"Psychopathic Cyberpaths are known to get so good at manipulating people that, by the time they're teenagers, they routinely fool and manipulate mental healthcare professionals, judges, prison officials, parole boards, and social workers who know they are psychopaths, are on the lookout for attempts to manipulate them, and should be immune to manipulation.

"It isn't a matter of intelligence: it's a matter of practice, experience. This is because most of what transpires in interaction happens too quickly to think it through.

"This phenomenon is called Natural Learning. It's how we learn to walk and talk."

ORIGINAL ARTICLE
~~~~~~~~~~

excerpt (with edits to apply to cyberpaths)
He gets her to reveal what she is seeking in a relationship. He will be sure to meet all her requirements item for item until she is hooked. Women indicated they told the [cyber]path who and what they were looking for in a person. They also told the [cyber]paths all of their hopes and dreams, not knowing that these disclosures would eventually be used against them.

[Cyber]paths largely “learn” these skills through mirroring or mimicking since they are not part of their true emotional repertoire. Some [cyber]paths say they have learned how to lure by watching romantic movies or eavesdropping on other relationships so they understand the linguistics (what to say to her), behaviors (how to act), and romantic gestures (what women like).

MORE FROM DAN JACOBY - The "Love" Bomber

"... LOVE BOMBING or showing an unusually intense interest in [someone’s] life and activities — is manipulative and deceitful ...particularly one at a vulnerable stage, such attention can be flattering, but [ ]it represents an attempt at mind control. Mind-control techniques such as love-bombing are designed to bypass a person’s intelligence and especially his critical-thinking skills.

When a lonely or hurting (emotionally or physically) person suddenly receives an overwhelming amount of love and acceptance, it is extremely difficult for them to stand back and assess the reasons for this or question something he desperately doesn’t want to have disappear." - Jason Gay, The Boston Phoenix

This is how cyberpaths rope you in and keep you in. As FAST as the attention and "love bombing" starts - it can come to a crashing stop. And the cyberpath will say they "can't control themselves" but they can and do. (Remember gridney/ yidwithlid did this to his Target #1 - and as soon as he was confronted - he stopped and ran away. Total control despite his protestation to the opposite. Leaving Target #1 twisting the wind and trauma bonded to him. On purpose. Because he wanted complete power over her & the relationship. There was nothing equal or loving on his part, about it. )

Notice the commonality of tactics between Jacoby? Gash? Hicks? Beckstead? etc... (see list at right for links to these stories)

By overwhelming you with love talk, attention, gifts, and sometimes sexuality - the cyberpath leaves you breathless, unable to think - you are in a sort of trance then. Very susceptible to suggestion. And then you are in their control.

Remember, the best way of killing someone is when you tell them that you love them because all her/his defenses go down. - Dr. Ludger Hofmann-Engl

Here's just one of Jacoby's numerous LOVE BOMBS to his victim. He's a piece of work:

From: Jacoby
To: victim
Date: Sun, 18 Dec 2005

I feel hopeless. I am a dead man without you, but I’m dying a slow death every time we hurt each other. You know I want you in my life. You ARE my life. I’m so lovesick it hurts even when I’m smiling. I’m sorry, but unless you didn't give me a thought this morning you must have known I would be devastated finding an empty mailbox in the morning - especially after crying out that I couldn't take much more (of our misunderstandings). (what happened - was she questioning him about his b.s.? LOL)

I love you. More than anyone could possibly love you. If you really believe that, ANYTHING I write that doesn't make sense or seems inappropriate shouldn't upset you so very much. (telling her how to feel about your sick requests, Jacoby?) I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. If I lose you, I die just as I would had we never met, only quicker. If we embrace each other, I will be blessed with a mortal life most people could only dream of.

I pray about us so many times during the day. I ask God to smile upon us, and to confirm in my heart that what we have is His blessing. My heart and prayers tell me you were brought to me to renew my spirit and give me a second chance at living. That's a big responsibility for you. (using spirituality & religion - one of the predator's LURES!)

I know you could move on without me and be fine. You're still healthy even with your withdrawal symptoms. You're beautiful. You've got friends who buy you thongs and ex's who want you back. If moving on is something YOU want to do - to unburden yourself from me - I will understand. I certainly wouldn't blame you. (Jacoby - the MARTYR MAN)

I’m willing to do everything in my power to keep the best thing that ever happened to me growing. Its only going to get tougher, and if I get sicker I may write even more senseless, tasteless babble. (placing blame on his illness! LOL Sounds like Yidwithlid blaming his ADHD)There may be days when I’m too sick to email at all. There will certainly be many days when technical problems keep us apart. You have your bad days, too. Even with all these obstacles, the thought of our precious first embrace makes all the suffering and struggling seem insignificant.

I love you completely, Victim. I need you if I am to ever live and be happy again. I know for a fact that I would die for you. I would hate to die without you. Every minute that passes knowing things aren't right between us is no different than slowly bleeding to death. I don't want to die. I want to live and spend every waking moment making you happy.

No more silly thoughts. No more mental torture. Just kindness, compassion, and love. The kind only you and I are capable of experiencing.

I’m here if you'll have me. I’m gone forever if we can't love each other and show it.

I love you with every bit of my being. Danny xxxxxxx
_______________

Jacoby wrote:

I'm pretty darn tired of stress. I had much more fun and much less stress talking about loving you up all day and night. (her and all his other online playmates - who think he's for real when he's just having fun at their expense!)

We will cut! Standing still too long is the same as going backwards. Its been a very rough year. Full of medical messes and other stress that has taken its toll. I breezed through the first 40 mgs of my taper. Gotta stay focused.

Victim, dear. You know you mean everything to me. You are the REASON I love, the REASON I breathe, and the REASON I live and fight for my healing. I can't let a single moment pass without thinking of you. There is only you in my heart, and I will never, EVER let you go.

I love you so deeply, TV. Danny xxxxxxx

(Jacoby must have a template of these cyber-love bombs that he just inserts his cyber-flavor of the moment's name into!)

Remember: you can NOT love someone you have not meet in person, let alone someone you haven't spent significant face time with. And NOT TIME IN BED - with them, their friends, your friends, your families - day to day living. Love grows. To the cyberpath LOVE is just a word! A word to manipulate and twist your emotions and give them power over you.

Let's look at Jacoby in the love-bombing context. And see some of what he "gets" out of his target. Remember he'd been guilting her for 'intimate photos'? Let's say now, he's told her he's divorcing, broke and pretty much a 'single parent' with little funds to get anything for Christmas. So guess who comes through for this "poor poor man"? And Jacoby's twisted her head so much - she's programmed to give - give - give.

Here's one of his "set up" emails to fleece her:

Jacoby wrote:

you know you don't have to get me nuthin'. (isn't that code for "BUT I WILL LOVE YOU IF YOU DO!")

i was looking at getting [my child] a printer for Christmas. she asked for one last summer that printed photos and stuff but it was a little pricey. she knows i don't have any money. besides, she will be so busy [while away] i don't think she will miss it. i may order her something so she can have it when she comes home next week. (unless you get it for her First!!)

you need your money. (guilt AGAIN! remember, narcissistic types use a lot of opposite or backward talk to get what they want. ie: DON'T means DO!)

i wish i felt better. the good news is i am finally on the macintosh (that Victim bought for Jacoby!) all the time now. even through the pain i can manage a smile when i use it. (because I'm so pleased with myself that I coerced and fleeced you out of your hard-earned money)

i love you. db xxxxxxx
_____________________


from 12/ 2006
Victim: Are you there, honey?
Dan: i am. not well. you ok?
V: did you get my last note?
D: no honey. been waiting.
V: i wrote over 90 minutes ago
D: i didnt get it sweetheart. can you sent it again.
V: are you chatting to someone? (he sure is!!!)
D: no honey (lie)
V: i re-sent the note
D: thank you honey (like Ed Hicks -- easier to use HONEY than her name)
V: i dunno why you did'nt get the last one
V: maybe my email server is playin' up again
D: im reading it, hun. 1 sec.
V: ok
D: honey you know better
V: better than what?
D: i dont wanna open up any more wounds
D: we got enough
V: i just hate it
D: im sorry hun
D: i do too
D: its hard enough gettin through the days
D: and i love the ocean
V: we went through so much at the hands of those people
D: i listen to it every day
D: yes we did
V: i really resent them for that
D: i do too, hun
D: more than you know
D: i dont like bitter unforgiveing self-centered people (even though he is one -- he's talking about the people who tried to WARN the VICTIM!!)
V: that's why i want no truck with them
D: yes ma'am
D: this is hard for me. i dont see you online.
V: no i did'nt make myself "visible"
D: oh ok
D: i just have a hard time sitting up and typing, though i love my computer (he sure does)
D: and my CK undies (Dan, how did you explain to your wife that you got some woman to send you UNDERWEAR?)
V: did you try em?
D: yes
V: are they a snugfit?
D: snug
V: lol
V: did you listen to all angels, honey?
D: every day, hunny.
V: those kids are only 17
D: Agnus Dei is one of my favorite songs of all time. yes. i read about them on the web.
D: from "Platoon"
D: its lovely
V: i love "the flower duet"
D: me too
V: and "steal away"
V: and i adore "songbird"
D: i love the songbird video
V: yes
V: do theose cd's help you relaxhoney?
D: yes
D: i love the waves so much
V: good
V: i wanted to bring the ocean to you
D: you did
V: you can lay there and imagine you have your feet in the water
D i do
V: good
V: you want me to go?
D: i just have troub;e typing
V: yes
D: but i love you
V: i love you, too
D: you made my christmas
V: i'm glad
D: i have all my toys around me (the ones he scammed from Victim by pleading poverty? or the other online targets he scams & TOYS with?)
D: the next time i get dressed and go out, i'm wearing my jersey.
V: it's the nicest england shirt to date
D: its lovely
V: best design
D: i adore it
V: 3 lions
V: cross of st george
D: its gorgeous
D: and it smells nice
D: smells like your house (how would he know? see how he inserts himself into her REALITY to anchor his presence -- mind control!)
V: does it?
V: what does it smell of?
D: i dunno. does it? potporri
D: sp?
V: prolly me
D: its nice
V: eden
V: cacharel
D: delicious.
V: i folded it all nice
V: with lotsa loving care
D: i could tell
D: i really could
D: it took me hours to open everything
V: lol
V: there wasn't much there
D: ther was
V: i wanted to sed much more
V: send
D: you sent too much
V: i just wanted to bring you some sunshine
D: you always do
V: would you miss me if i was gone?
D: yes
V: that's cuz you're used to me
V: like a pair of comfy old slippers
D: i would like to think so
V: did you taste a little bitta chocolate?
D: just a little
D: the cookies
V: lol
V: you mean the chocolate shortbread?
D: YES!!!
D: awesome
V: at least xxxx will ahve the pleasure
D: she is gonna be thrilled
V: i hope it gets there before she leaves
D: it will get there monday morning
V: good
V: did you tell her
D: yes i did
D: shes thrilled
V: bless her heart
D: shes a happy girl, hun
V: she's in for the experience of a lifetime
D: its gonna change her life
V: it'll bring her closer to God
V: for sure
V: i could smell Jerusalem on my packages
D: she asked me what i wanted for christmas...
D: i said...
D: a prayer from you from galilee on christmas day
V: wonderful
V: you got your spirit very well taken care of
V: i hope you place your mezuzah when you're feeling up to it
D: i need to find a place big enough. the ones ive seen used to be so tiny, but its gorgeous. i opened it and touched the words.
V: i was going to get you a smaller one honey
D: i love this one
V: but they did'nt have smaller sterling silver ones
V: they were the nicest ones
V: the silver i mean
D: this one is perfect
V: i thought maybe it would be a little on the large side
D: its lovely
V: i have the exact same one
D: do ya?
V: yes
V: i bought them for us both
D: i love em
D: i have it righ here
D: right
V: i touch it each time i pass
D: "over", lol
V: lol
V: yeah
V: over
D: my shoulders hurt, honey. thats why its hard to chat versus just typing (besides I got porn babes and other targets waiting!!)
V: okay
V: i'll go
D: i wish u were here
V: i know honey
V: i do too
D: i should rest
V: okay
D: i pray we both sleep well, sweetheart. you know i do.
D: are you there, honey
V: yeah
D: God bless you, sweatheart
D: and keep you safe
V: God bless you, too
D: please have sweet dreams. sweet kisses just for you.
V: sweet dreams
D: Goodnight, TV. i love you more than you think i do. i really do. xxxxxxxxxx
V: i know you do, sweetheart
V: i love you, too
V: sweet kisses, baby
D: sweet kisses xxxxxx

MORE FROM JACOBY SOON!! ...If we all can stomach it!

WARNING (2009) - Jacoby has found his way BACK on to the recovery forums (such as benzobuddies, etc) using a new IP number and false identities (ex: "Nurse Tanya" and "Elwood"). Despite the forum managers saying they have banned him forever - they have not been able to stop this remorseless predator! One forum manager refuses to listen and remove his multiple identities. Beware!