88% ADMIT TO CYBERSTALKING THEIR EXES

by Lesley Ciarula Taylor

It’s way more than "complicated".

A University of Western Ontario masters’ thesis has found a full 88 per cent of people after a breakup stalk their exes on Facebook.

Jilted lovers signed on to friends’ account to spy on the one who dumped them. They deleted pictures of those happier times. They pored over old messages or wall posts. They clicked agonized fingers on the guy or girl who replaced them.

“It’s so interesting right now, so different from before this technology existed. Once you broke up in the past, it was over,” media studies graduate student Veronika Lukacs told the Star after successfully defending her thesis.

Not entirely. “Stalking isn’t really new. It used to involve parking your car outside their house,” her mother told the 25-year-old.

Still, this groundbreaking analysis of Facebook and broken hearts does have serious implications, Lukacs said.

“Nearly everyone is participating in these behaviours, it’s very very common,” she said.

“At the end of the day, Facebook does present very serious challenges for people getting over a breakup. It’s a much more serious issue than a lot of people think.”

Surveillance of someone on Facebook, or “creeping,” didn’t follow the patterns Lukacs expected.

“I had expected people who were not Facebook friends with their ex-partners would be less distressed.

“We found the opposite was true. People who had unfriended their partners had higher levels of distress. Based on interviewing people, I’m thinking that people who are the most distressed are the ones who delete their partners.”

Less surprisingly, the dumped partners who were most upset were also the most avid stalkers and the dumpers were the least upset.

Lukacs surveyed 107 people over age 18 who had experienced a breakup in the previous 12 months. Three-quarters of them were Western students. She interviewed 10 of them.

“A lot of people who I had interviewed talked about their surveillance behaviour and how they knew it wasn’t good for them and yet somehow they were doing it anyway. Rationality didn’t play a role for them.”

One man confessed he had hacked into his ex-girlfriend’s Facebook account. “He never thought he was the kind of person who would do that. He was really embarrassed.”

Among Lukacs’s findings:

• 86.2 per cent agreed or strongly agreed that Facebook is part of their daily routine.

• 70 per cent would use a friend’s account to keep track of a former girl or boyfriend secretly after deleting them on Facebook.

• 65.5 per cent updated their profiles once a month or more. Their number of friends ranged from 69 to 1,800 with 484 as the mean.

• 64 per cent reread or overanalyzed old messages or wall posts from their ex.

• 61 per cent were asked about the breakup when their relationship status changed.

• 50 per cent deleted an ex-partners pictures.

• 38 per cent altered their privacy controls on their Facebook accounts.

• 33 per cent changed their Facebook status to quote a song or lyric about the ex-partner.

• 31 per cent posted a picture in an attempt to make the ex jealous.

• 5.6 per cent posted a slanderous comment.

Lukacs is hoping to explore more aspects of Facebook and relationships with her thesis adviser, Anabel Quan-Haase, but will move her studies in the fall to occupational therapy from media studies.

“I’m interested in well-being. I was always interested in more of the social science side of media studies.”

original article here

Stalker Sending Men to My House for Sex ...was my Ex!

By NIKKI WATKINS


(U.K.) Amy Lees answered a knock at her front door and a man burst in, grabbed her by the throat and threatened to rape her. The sicko fantasist had been led to believe she was keen to take part in a sordid sex game. She fought him off — but he was just one of hundreds of strangers who kept turning up on her doorstep for months demanding that she had sex with them.

Traumatised Amy was the victim of a vicious internet stalker who had plastered her name, photos and home address on websites offering her up for weird role-play fantasies. And, shockingly, the stalker was her ex-boyfriend Khalid Hussain — who she had turned to for help when she felt besieged, scared and vulnerable in her home.

Amy has bravely waived her anonymity to tell her horrifying story to The Sun. She said: "For nine months I was stalked. It was the worst time of my life. I was trapped and frightened. I wouldn't wish that terror on my worst enemy. It was a truly horrifying experience."

Amy, a 31-year-old barmaid, first met care worker Hussain, 30, via a dating website in October 2009.

She said: "I had just come out of a relationship and wanted to have fun so I joined the site. I got chatting to Khalid. He seemed very kind and sweet. After a couple of weeks chatting on MSN and Facebook I invited him round for dinner. We chatted for hours and by the end of the evening we were a couple. He was very attentive and sent me bouquets of flowers every week."

But they began having arguments and split up quite regularly. Three months after their meeting, Amy ended the relationship. She said: "While we were apart I went on Facebook and noticed a friend request from a man called Simon. Although I didn't know him, I replied because I was flattered to get male attention. We started emailing and texting. He wanted a sexy picture so, stupidly, I sent him a picture of myself in underwear. As soon as I hit send, I regretted it."

The next day Simon put the picture on Amy's Facebook wall under the caption: "Here's my new girlfriend I'm going to f*** the a*** off her." Her voice shaking, Amy said: "I was shocked, took the photo down and texted Simon telling him to leave me alone. He texted back saying, 'I'm going to have my fun, you f***ing bitch, wait and see.' Seeking emotional support, I got back with Khalid and he was really supportive. I felt safer knowing he was there."

Days later Amy started getting texts from Simon calling her disgusting names. Amy said: "Things were terrible and I felt as if I needed somebody to be there for me — but Khalid was becoming very controlling. I knew I had to end things with him for good. "We parted as friends and stayed in touch. Every time I was contacted by Simon I'd tell Khalid, desperate for support."

Amy called the police about the harassment and they shut down her Facebook account while they investigated. But in February 2010 things took a menacing turn when men — often up to 20 a day — started arriving at her house wanting to have sex with her. Amy said: "When the first person came to the door asking me for sex I was so gobsmacked I just closed it in his face. But the second and third time it happened I knew it was probably down to Simon. I was so confused and vulnerable. I became petrified and would always check from my upstairs window who was at the door before I opened it. I kept a frying pan at hand, so I felt protected, and friends would stay over so I felt safer. The police were still involved but there seemed to be little they could do. I became a quivering wreck as the men knocked at the door and shouted obscenities through my letterbox. I hardly slept and every day became a battle. I became too weak and frightened to leave the house.

"About four months after the men started arriving, there was a knock on the door. I opened it a crack and saw a respectable-looking man in his forties. He grabbed me by the throat, said he was going to rape me and pushed me inside the house. I tried to fight him off and my friend, who was in my house at the time, ran to help me. The man realised his mistake and stepped away, whispering, 'I'm sorry. I thought I was talking to you on the internet. I thought this is what you wanted'.

"He ran out of the house and I managed to get his registration number and call the police. I put panic alarms supplied by the police all over the house and added a chain to the door. They also put a sign up on my door explaining that any internet directions to my house were a hoax."

The man was arrested but not charged because he had been talking to someone online who had set up a fake profile. That someone turned out to be Hussain — and he had set up many other profiles in her name. He had used photos from her Facebook account and given out her home address.

He was jailed for two years nine months in September last year after admitting harassment.

There were 53,000 cyber-stalking allegations recorded in 2009 and experts believe the actual number could be ten times this. New laws are set to be introduced to combat the crime.

Amy said: "The shock of knowing my ex-boyfriend was behind all of this left me feeling physically sick. He had written that I was into rape re-enactment along with numerous sordid sexual acts. It made me feel disgusted. He had seemed kind but all along he was evil and dangerous. I'm glad he is in jail and can't do that to anyone else — but if I had been the judge I would have given him life. I still find it very difficult to trust anyone. I sleep in the room with my four Staffordshire bull terriers and don't like going out on my own."

Amy is now making a fresh start, having found a new man. But she warned: "It is so important that cyber stalking is taken seriously because we are all at risk."

If you think you are being stalked, it is vital to act now.

For more information and to get help in the U.K. contact the Suzy Lamplugh Trust at suzylamplugh.org or 020 7091 0014

original article here

Online Impersonation? Get Arrested.

(Texas, U.S.) A 34-year-old Odessa man was charged with online harassment after reportedly pretending to be his ex-girlfriend and asking for sex.

Kevin Wade Johnson, 12055 W. Edith St., remained in custody Thursday on a $15,000 bond.

According to an arrest warrant affidavit, Johnson’s ex-girlfriend started getting calls from people wanting to meet her to have sex. One of them told her he’d gotten her number off of her profile at the mobile gaming community MocoSpace, and when she searched for her name, the profiles “1hottnurse4u” and “nastynurse4u” came up, which included her personal and work phone numbers, as well as photos of her, the affidavit stated.

The woman suspected that Johnson had been the one to create the profiles because they were ones she knew he had, the affidavit stated.

After making the report Aug. 9, Odessa police got a search warrant Aug. 30 for MocoSpace’s data and found that the phone number connected with the profiles belonged to Johnson, the affidavit stated. Sept. 14, a third profile “hotnurse4u” was created, again with the woman’s information and photos of her, the affidavit stated. Oct. 6, a grand jury subpoena was served to MocoSpace for the third account, and it, too, was connected with Johnson’s number. Sprint-Nextel confirmed Johnson as the account holder for the number Oct. 7, the affidavit stated.

The arrest warrant was signed Oct. 12, and Johnson was arrested Monday on the third-degree felony charge.

original article found here

Ex-Blocker Helps You in the Aftermath

by Amanda Lily

While we used to simply look through old photos or listen to sappy love songs after a break-up, we can now spend hours online, scrolling through old memories, or more importantly, checking up on what new memories our ex may be creating post-"us."

To help eliminate the painful practice of Facebook-stalking the former-love-of-our-lives, creative agency JESS3, with inspiration from "Stuff Hipsters Hate," has developed the "Ex-Blocker" (http://blockyourex.com). This plug-in for Firefox or Chrome essentially erases any trace of our ex (or exes) from the Internet. Simply type in the culprit's first and last name, and your browser will block his or her Facebook and Twitter accounts, as well as eliminate them from your overall www browsing experience.

In case there is more than one skeleton in your closet, you can add up to five exes, thus swearing them off forever ... or at least until you uninstall the software if you guys ever get back together.

Sure, this software seems to imply that none of us have self-control, but in the immediate aftermath of having our hearts broken, it is easy for curiosity to get the best of us. The "Ex-Blocker" can simply play the part of our "digital best friend" and stop us from torturing ourselves with what once was.

original article here

Man Threatens Ex via Internet

(Hawaii, U.S.A.) An Internet conversation between a 27-year-old woman and her 37-year-old ex-boyfriend escalated into threats and harassment, police said.

The woman left her ex-boyfriend, who is the father of her two children, and moved into her parents' house with her children on Thursday, police said.

On Friday, the woman began chatting with her ex-boyfriend, a Waipahu man, on a social networking site, but the chat escalated when the man allegedly threatened her, her children and family members.

The woman filed a report with another law enforcement agency and on Saturday, Honolulu police said the suspect called the woman at 4:45 in the morning and harassed her.

Police located the suspect at about 8:30 a.m. and arrested him in Waimanalo for outstanding warrants. While he was being processed, police found the other cases and arrested him for terroristic threatening and harassment. He was charged and cited for terroristic threatening in the second degree and harassment on held on $2,000 bail.

original article here

Hire-A-Hitman Online? Go to Jail

A young lady who was jealous and enraged about the fact that her ex-boyfriend had moved on, has been charged for trying to hire a hitman to kill his new lover with stolen credit cards from Paypal: Marissa Mark, 28, from Allentown, Pennsylvania is alleged to have hired Essam Ahmed Eid through his amateurish website www.hitmanforhire.net. She wanted him to kill Anne Royston for $37,000 in 2006. She is accused of paying a $19,000 deposit with three stolen credit cards through website PayPal. Marissa Mark, left, is accused of hiring Las Vegas poker dealer Essam Eid, left, through his website www.hitmanforhire.net to kill her ex-boyfriend’s new lover. The shoddy website said: ‘Whether you are trying to put an end to a domestic dispute or eliminate your business competitors, we have the solution for you’. The hire-a-hitman website, which has since been taken down, said: ‘Assassinations are the most practical solutions to common problems. Thanks to the Internet, ordering a hit has never been easier. We manage a network of freelance assassins, available to kill at a moment’s notice.’ Court documents show that PayPal refused to transfer the money Mark allegedly paid from three stolen credit cards, meaning Eid never received any money. According to FBI accounts and court documents, Royston – who worked as a loan broker – was first contacted by Eid in September 2006 under the pretence of wanting to refinance his house. He visited her officers in Woodland Hills, California with one of his two wives, Theresa Engle, posing as his assistant, and told her ‘Somebody wants your head. Somebody wants you killed and they hate you a lot.’ He said he decided against killing her because she reminded him of his own daughter and she could save her life and see Mark dead by settling the balance of the contract.

In this current case Mark was arrested in Jersey City, New Jersey and transferred to Allentown, Pennsylvania where she appeared in court charged with conspiracy, identity theft and other counts. She was granted bail on a $150,000 bond.

There are rumours that the events could be turning into a movie.

original article here

Woman Jailed for Sending Threatening Texts -- to Herself

An California woman was sentenced to a year in jail for sending hundreds of threatening text messages — to herself. Prosecutors said Jeanne Mundango Manunga told police her former boyfriend and his sister-in-law were behind the threats.

Manunga was sentenced Friday in Santa Ana Superior Court. She was convicted in May of three felony counts of false imprisonment by fraud or deceit and two misdemeanor counts of making a false police report.

Prosecutors said Manunga started sending the threatening messages after she and her former boyfriend stopped dating in 2008.

Manunga also was placed on three years probation and ordered to pay about $50,000 in restitution.

original article here