How to Keep Cyberpaths Away!

EOPC believes that cyberpaths are both probably narcissistic and psychopathic in their pursuit, use, abuse and devaluation & disposal of victims. We changed the word narcissist with cyberpath to make a clearer point, but the article is available in its original on a must read site - see link at bottom.

This article illustrates why so many victims are fearful or simply do not speak out about them as they should. How to keep them away. And why they should rethink exposing them:

(our comments in dark blue)

[Online Predators] count on our shame to keep their secrets. They know that exposing them means exposing our own failings. That's what makes them so powerful. They manipulate us into these situations then sit back & watch us squirm between protecting ourselves or blowing the whistle. The [victim often] is still emotionally connected to the [Cyberpath], thus protecting them and accusing them alternatively. Many [victim]s will not name their [cyberpath]s to counsellors or other helpers, thus protecting their identity. The hook, which the [Cyberpath] has implanted in their heart, is hard to remove. If you want something to cry about, cry for the [Cyberpath]'s new victim(s), the innocent, unmarked, un-inoculated prey. These victims are carefully chosen...
- Mary Ann Borg Cunen"

by Kathy Krajco

(excerpts)
Perhaps the strangest thing about narcissistic abuse is the almost universal decision of the victim to put up with it. This is something other people cannot get their minds around. And it is one reason why they withhold sympathy from the victim, blowing off severe psychological abuse and mental cruelty as mere annoyance.

But there are many understandable reasons why the victim puts up with it. All people need do is think a little to understand.

For one thing, cyberpaths don't abuse anyone they fear retribution from. They typically go to great lengths to make a lover totally dependent on them, financially and emotionaly, isolating the victim from his or her family and former friends before the narcissist's mask comes off and the abuse begins. Count on it: narcissists are brave enough to abuse only someone they already have over a barrel.

This is what makes a narcissist's own children the easiset and most abused prey. (And future prey for narcissists, psychopaths & cyberpaths!)

Imagine what life is like in a home where at least one of the parents (and probably a sibling as well) is a malignant narcissist. Marine Boot Camp is nothing compared to it. And, unlike Boot Camp, the aim isn't to improve posture and self-respect: the aim is to do the opposite. It's a constant hazing.

The children of narcissists have been brainwashed into thinking it's their fault whenever the narcissist goes off. It's because they aren't worthy enough to deserve better treatment. They have been trained to view the narcissist's crackpot behavior as normal: being irrational to keep from losing an argument is normal and acceptable in that home; blowing up because someone else doesn't dress, think, say, or feel what you want them to is normal.

Of course children raised in Hell are going to become adults who put up with narcissistic abuse. But let's get two things straight.

First, the mental healthcare industry must ditch the social and political agenda: this happens as much, or more, in high-income homes and middle-income homes than poverty-stricken ones. In fact, there is documented evidence of that among imprisoned psychopaths.

Second, the fact that grown children of narcissists are likely to put up with abuse doesn't mean they attract it. Or are attracted to abusers.

I really doubt that. In fact, I bet the children of narcissists are quicker to smell a rat than other people are. Not that it does them much good when a narcissist is out to con them. Narcissists fool EVERYONE, even cops and psychologists.

Years ago, I had a wonderful/ terrible opportunity to observe a marauding narcissist in action. He was an employer in an institution where sh*t flows uphill, so that he was unaccountable because his powerful superiors would cover up, and stonewall justice against, anything he did.

He was quite a piece of work, and I actually had nothing better to do than study him. I noticed that he always tested a new mark. Right up front, within the first minutes of your first personal interaction with him, he would test you. If you passed that test, he was AFRAID of you! If you flunked it, as most people did, he moved in like a shark after its "tasting run" for the kill.

Knowing this already, I then had the misfortune to live next door to a very different style of narcissist. One whose true colors showed to be very seedy indeed when the honeymoon was over and the domestic abuse began. In contrast to the administrator I mentioned above, this guy had a rap sheet a mile long. He tried to move the lot lines with con schemes. He would run over his neighbors' fences and small trees and bushes with his huge, jacked-up pickup truck and leash his dangerous dogs out onto your property to keep you from getting to your garage door. Mean and wild as a junkyard dog, that is, and drunk every day.

How's that for a contrast in style? Yet both men were the same at bottom. They were just exploiting different environments.

To my surprise, he tested his prey too. Immediately after his wife and children suddenly disappeared one day, he decided to replace them. In fact, I was grilling steaks when I overhead him snarl at his dog that he'd "get a new dog too" if doggie didn't behave.

Before my wondering eyes could believe what they were seeing, he was hitting on me. Testing me to see if flattery would make me revise history. I was supposed to be so google-eyed over his sudden attentions that I would forget everything I knew about him and forget what he had done to us! I must say that that was the most breath-taking sample of raw narcissism I have ever seen.

But guess what? He was now a different person, an unassuming and likeable man any woman would like. I was just as surprised at myself as I was him. His magic was truly tempting me. I had to keep a tight grip on reality and keep reminding myself of the past - when Dr. Jekyll here was Mr. Hyde. He was quite thick-headed about it and couldn't take a hint to get lost. I had to let him know with a wink one day that I saw right through him and was entertained by his efforts.

Zoom, gone just like that, and bringing other women home (or posting new profiles on online dating sites, or contacting people from reunion sites, penpal sites, support boards, or) from the bars for testing in the role of his new mamma.

If you do, you will seem to attract narcissists.

In the case of the administrator, the first test was always a test of good faith. That's a test of your basic integrity. It was a test of fidelity, probing to see whether you would betray a collegue to please terrifying him. But it could also be a test to discover whether you will betray the truth to please axe-wielding him.

A [cyberpath] seeking a lover as prey might test you by going off like firecracker in some off-the-wall reaction to something you do or say. The test is to see whether this herds your behavior in the direction he wants, whether you attempt to appease him, whether you forget about it tommorrow (when he acts like it never happened) by acting like it never happened. In other words, you flunk this test by "forgiving and forgetting." To a [cyberpath], that's commonly a green light. You pass this test by raising your own voice, saying, "What the hell are you mad about?" and "If you won't make sense and be reasonable, I won't waste my breath on you," deciding that if he is such a changeable, unpredictable Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, you aren't going to date or chat with him any more.

The street con artist always tests potential marks too. For example, will you do a stupid thing to please him just because he acts like you'll be a bad person if you don't? You pass the test by replying, "WHAT? Are you nuts? No!" You flunk the test by caving in to moral pressure by saying, "OK, I'll go into the bank and draw money out of my account to help you guys catch that evil teller."

In any case this test is always a test to see if the [cyberpath] slams into the brick wall of a backbone. If he does, he flies away like a bee that has just discovered there's no nectar in that flower.

From these examples, you can see that the children of narcissists are more likely than others to flunk some kinds of tests. For example, they have been brainwashed to regard as normal and tolerate blow-ups in people with the nerve to be so rude. They have been trained to say, "Well, yes he does have a terrible temper but he doesn't carry a grudge." Note the irony in that: the fact that he's all smiles the next day is a BAD sign, not a good one!

But people with little or no experience with [cyberpaths]more likely to flunk other tests. (which is why its so important to tell tell tell to EDUCATE others!)

The bottom line is that it isn't so much a matter of backbone as it is a matter of naivite. We all must face the fact that there are people like this out there. They look just like the rest of us. You can't tell who they are by their reputation or status or anything else. Only these red-flag behaviors give the predators among us away.

Never forget that faces are masks and that we never really know what's going on in anyone else's head.

You are easy prey for predators if you are naive, not knowing that you must just ALWAYS choose to have a backbone = ALWAYS pass the test.

No matter WHO that other person is.

Yes, even if people will say you're a bad person for it: good people don't prostitute themselves to the threat of being called a bad person for doing the right and/or sensible thing.

So, just always pass the test. It's a vaccine for a cyberpath-free life.

Not to mention a truly virtuous one.

original article found here

Woman Posts her Stalker's Details to 'Defend Herself'

By Chris Parsons

Taking action: German high jumper Ariane Friedrich posted 

her stalker's personal details to 'defend herself'

A sleazy Internet stalker who sent explicit photos to a world high jump star got more than he bargained for - when she posted his personal details to her thousands of fans. German athletics star Ariane Friedrich - who also works as a police officer - named and shamed her online stalker after being emailed photos of a man's genitals.

The 28-year-old star, who will be gunning for high jump gold at the London olympics, posted the man's name, email address and home address on her Facebook page 'as a way of making clear that I am prepared to act'. Friedrich, a bronze medalist a the 2009 World Athletics Championships, said she posted the man's details to 'defend herself' from the many inappropriate emails she receives. In her role as a police officer, the German is also thought to be planning to bring charges against the man. In one post on her official Facebook page, Friedrich, from Frankfurt, told her fans: 'I’ve been offended in the past, sexually harassed and I’ve had a stalker before. 'It’s time to act; it’s time to defend myself. And that’s what I’m doing. No more and no less.'

She defiantly insisted in another post that just because she has a higher profile than others, she does not believe she should be the subject of those who want to 'attack, insult, or sexually harass'.

Friedrich's manager, Günter Eisinger, attempted to play down the incident amid concerns it could affect her preparations for London 2012.  Mr Eisinger told The Local on Saturday: 'The issue has nothing to do with the public. 'We can do without any stress factors.'

original article found here

Should Victims Embrace Docile Victimhood? Or Fight Back?

For all victims & those who tell them to "get over it" and "move on":


by writer Kathy Kracjo

I am death on people telling the victim that it's a sin to fight back. They are pressuring the victim to do the very thing that causes victims to suffer terrible shame in the aftermath of abuse -- give themselves up to it.

That shame we feel at doing so is an infallible indicator that it's wrong. No one needs a book or a preacher to tell them what's right and wrong. We KNOW that's wrong. Deep down inside we feel how wrong it is to give ourselves up to abuse. Doing so makes us feel like a worm. A doormat. We know it's lack of backbone. We sense the prostitution in it. We feel utterly degraded by it.

The only excuse for it is being subjected to overwhelming force so that we haven't the power to resist. Which is rape. Which is why we feel deeply violated by it. Whether it's sexual rape or any other kind.

So, we know that we must resist when we can. If only for the sake of our self respect.

And anyone who tells us that we shouldn't fight the aggressor might as well order us to be a self masochist who injures himself.

They are pressuring the victim to prostitute themselves to abuse. How degrading! They are pressuring the victim to do what causes a human being unbearable shame. How cruel! They are pressuring the victim to do what goes against the laws of nature, our instinct for self preservation. They are pressuring the victim to commit the worst breech of faith, the worst betrayal, there is -- treason against your very self by delivering yourself up to abuse.

That's what Joan of Arc called it -- "treason," "wretched treason." She preferred the stake.

If it would be wrong to surrender another person for abuse, why should it be right to surrender yourself to abuse?

Trying to force the victim to do that is what the narcissist does! It's bad enough to abuse someone, but when you become so sadistic that you make them bend over for it on top of it all, you have crossed the line into extreme perversity, the Sin of Sodom.

Docile victimhood is NOT a virtue, and people who think it is are devoid of moral sense. They are people who don't think about what they say any more than a parrot does. Nothing proves that easier than to just then ask them, "Well what if the abuse happenes to be sexual rape? Do you say the victim should bend over for it?"

Certainly not! These are the same folks who would say that a woman who bent over for it liked it and was a whore. They would say she must fight tooth and nail.

And that's just as stupid, because sometimes she doesn't dare fight. If she did, she'd get killed.

There are few ways that the victim of narcissistic abuse can fight back, especially when the victim is a child.

And whenever the victim does find a way to put up a resistance, there is always some holier-than-thou around to tell him or her that it's a sin.

You can't do that to people. That puts them in an impossible situation. That's what breaks minds.

Horrifying example. A kid is getting bullied at school. He periodically gets his head flushed in a toilet, while the "innocent" bystanders watch and laugh. He gets his lunch money stolen daily.

Now, would you willingly walk into a place where you know that someone is waiting for you to abuse you? Of course not. But we expect him to. So, when he skips school, he gets punished. We thus force him to present himself there daily for abuse. If he doesn't it's a sin.

So he punches the bully. Oh-oh. Now he committed another sin. He gets punished for that too, because "violence" (which force used in self defense ain't) is a sin.

So, he resorts to the last resort, the really stupid thing: he tells the counsellors about the abuse. They have "a talk" with the bully. Now the bully punishes him for that by escalating the abuse.

What is that kid going to do? We are forcing him to offer himself up for abuse like a sacrificial vicitm every single day.

Something's gotta give. He will decide to kill himself, and he may well decide to take others with him.

You can't force people to docilely submit to abuse. That's the most odious thing you can do to a human being. You are subjecting him to a slavery more odious and profound than that of the slaves, a kind of slavery we haven't seen since the macabre executions of the Middle Ages = slavery as someone else's property for the purpose of vicitimization.

Indeed, the victim isn't his own property if you deny his free will to the the extent that you deny him the right even to self preservation.

Those who think the Bible demands this had better re-read it. And study what the scholars have found and Church authorities have admitted -- how long after the events it was written, whom it was really written by, and how much it's been edited and added to since.

And applying a little common sense doesn't hurt either. For example, if Jesus thought defending yourself is a sin, why does scripture mention in several places that the apostles were armed? Duh, they were his bodyguards. And of course he told the three of them with him to put up their swords when he was captured -- because they were vastly outnumbered and just would have gotten killed. Interpreting that action as some sort of general prohibition again the use the use of force is absurd.

Common sense, common sense, common sense. There is nothing more dangerous than words of scripture in a mouth with its brain turned off.

Very often the victim can't fight back. At least not without that resistence resulting in greater harm to himself. But whenever he can, he has every right to. Indeed, the only morality a bully knows is a punch in the nose. It does work.

And the victims of a narcissist's abuse through character asssination have every right to accuse their accuser, to point the accusing finger right back at the narcissist to show that it's all projection. That's the victim's only defense! He or she should not be treated as though they are the attacker.

Character assassination is not nothing. It is character ASSASSINATION. I call it the abuse that keeps on abusing for the rest of that person's life. A crime in progress for the rest of that person's life, because that bad reputation pursues and continually damages the victim for the rest of their life. The victim has every right to defend himself from this ongoing abuse in whatever way he can.

SOURCE

NOTE: When other website owners find the need to participate in a smear campaign about a victim of someone else on their site -- members need to think twice. Especially support & recovery sites.

Especially when they elevate that predator to special status. How hateful.

Now ask yourself, why is it SO IMPORTANT to smear and attack someone for speaking their truth? If it really was all B.S. you'd let things stand because it would be so important. And to those who fall away because they are afraid to still be friends with the victims? Shame on you.

Innocence seldom utters outraged shrieks. Guilt does.
~ Whittaker Chambers

Detective Mom Tracks Down Her Rapist - via Facebook

A mother who was almost raped on the way home from a pub turned detective to track down the alleged sex attacker by finding him on Facebook using his unusual name.

Alpha Gray has pleaded not guilty to attempted rape, sexual assault and causing actual bodily harm in the trial at the Old Bailey.

The victim, who cannot be named for legal reasons, picked him out of an identification parade after finding his Facebook profile and reporting him to police.

She told the court she was left with bruises and a bleeding ear after a man tried to rape her shortly after she left a pub in Tufnell Park, north London, in May.

However, the attacker had told her his name was Alpha, that he was 30, and he lived in Holloway, north London, which was all the information she needed to find his profile on the social networking site.

She told the court: 'It's such an unusual name. I didn't think it was his real name. His picture came up and it turned out he knew someone I knew. There was a picture of him on a beach holding a little girl. When the police phoned me, I said from that picture I would not tell if it was him. I was not 100 per cent sure."

But at the identity parade, she picked out Gray, confirming he was the last person she saw.

'When I saw him it drew my breath away,' she said.

Gopal Hooper, prosecuting, told the court that on leaving the pub the woman, who is in her twenties, was approached by a man who pulled down her top and punched her in the face after she tried to run off.

Mr Hooper said: 'Somebody who said his name was Alpha, who was aged 30, who lived in Holloway, attacked this young woman. His defence is his name is Alpha, he is 30, he lives in Holloway and happened to be in the area at the time. He said his name was Alpha. It is a very unusual name, not like Smith or Jones.'

Gray allegedly later told police he was at a friend's birthday party at a club a few minutes away from the pub where the woman had been with friends.

Police discovered his address and he was arrested two days after the attack.

The case continues.

original article here

Free Speech Is On the Side of Web Postings

Bid To Out Bloggers Dropped

Jennifer Friedlin - Jewish Week Correspondent
(excerpts.... link to full article at the bottom of this post)

A group of anonymous bloggers that had published information on their Web sites about a disgraced Rockland County rabbi's alleged sexual misconduct won a victory when the rabbi withdrew one of two petitions to subpoena their identities.

Rabbi Mordecai Tendler, the former leader of Kehillat New Hempstead in New Hempstead, N.Y., who has been accused of sexual harassment by former congregants, filed petitions both in Ohio and California district courts in an effort to force Google, the Internet giant that hosts the bloggers' websites, to disclose their identities.

The bloggers' attorney, Paul Alan Levy of Public Citizen, a Washington-based public interest organization, said Rabbi Tendler’s decision to withdraw the petition represented a victory for the First Amendment right to free speech. He also said that the decision reflected Rabbi Tendler's inability to prove that the bloggers had defamed him.

"If he had had evidence of falsity and malice he could have gone forward against these folks," said Levy, noting that as soon as the bloggers filed their motion claiming that Rabbi Tendler's petition would violate their right to free speech, he withdrew his demand.

Levy said the bloggers were moving ahead with a motion under state law that protects against so-called strategic lawsuits against public participation and would seek to have Rabbi Tendler required to cover the bloggers' legal fees.

Although the U.S. Supreme Court has yet to set a federal standard regarding what a defamation plaintiff would have to show before an anonymous blogger could be unmasked, lower court decisions have so far set a high bar, demanding that plaintiffs clearly establish that the claims made against them are false before the online accuser can be outed.

"It's a pretty high standard," said David Hudson, research attorney for the First Amendment Center, an educational organization based in Nashville, Tenn., and Arlington, Va.

While undermining their own credibility, anonymous bloggers may in fact be protecting themselves legally. Robert Cox, president of the Media Bloggers Association, an organization of bloggers, said that one of the standards used in defamation cases is whether a reasonable person would believe a particular statement was true. However, given that blogs are held in lower esteem than many newspapers and magazines, such a standard may not be met in a defamation case against a blogger, particularly an anonymous one.

Cox said that although this issue has yet to be settled in court, bloggers might prove immune to claims of defamation "because nobody believes us."

Widely believed or not, some anonymous bloggers say they are in fact having a great deal of impact and that they plan to continue blogging anonymously.

UOJ says that before he posts any claims against anyone he conducts his own investigation, verifying the allegations with five sources. Once he's satisfied that he has met his own standard, he posts the claims.

(EOPC also investigates to our own standard and anyone who sends us information on their cyberpath must sign a release taking FULL responsibility for the 100% truthfulness of what is told to us & posted.

It is not illegal, nor is it harassment to post the TRUTH about a predatory individual who takes advantage of others via the internet or other means... no matter what these Cyberpaths wish, want or threaten to do.)

"'Free speech' permits me to say 'anything' I feel is accurate," UOJ wrote in an e-mail.

For now, no one is challenging him.

EXCERPTS FROM THIS ARTICLE (CLICK HERE)

GOOD INFORMATION ON SAFE BLOGGING

Forgiving the One Who Deserves Forgiveness

This article, from a blog about malignant narcissism is so important and must read for everyone.

Soooo many supposed trauma counselors tell cyberpathy victims to "forgive the cyberpath." How invalidating! That's just more abuse, frankly.

The other piece of stupid advice from clueless therapists is to treat the online relationship with a cyberpath like any real-life affair. They tell you to "immediately cut them off." Whoops!! Who does that help? NOT YOU!! Nope. Because you need some explanation, closure and at the very least - VALIDATION (since it is rare to ever get the first two).

This makes it far far too easy for the cyberpath to block you, smear you, avoid you, delete you from their contacts - just go on their merry way. Because you were just words on a screen.

"Forgive and forget" - NOT the cyberpath, but yourself. You can't be friends - but you deserve to be told the truth. (be CAREFUL you don't get reeled in again!!) You deserve the cyberpath to admit whatever the payoff was for them - no matter how sick.

And to admit what they did without blaming you or saying you were part of the problem. It was them. ALL THEM.

Truth time for predators!
(but don't hold your breath that you will EVER get it - however you do DESERVE it)


You did NOTHING wrong. NOTHING. No matter what your counselors, friends, families, clergy, the predator themselves or society says?
You are not a stalker.
You were not stupid or naive.
It did not "Take Two to Tango."
You did not "know what you were getting into"
You did not you go in "with [your] eyes wide open." That's baloney.

Obsession with getting justice and validation for yourself isn't revenge - its self-preservation.

You didn't "ask for it" and you can't and shouldn't just "forget it and get over it. " You are not NOTHING - your feelings are not NOTHING.

EMOTIONAL RAPE IS A STATIC EVENT.

IT IS FROZEN IN YOUR PSYCHE.

This isn't the check-out at the grocery. This is your MIND, your HEART & your SOUL that's been raped!

That other stuff is bull that people tell themselves because the truth is too scary. Pathologicals seem like everyone else. Cyberpaths are not easy to spot. Anyone, we repeat - ANYONE is a potential victim.

Your mind was folded & spindled by a master.

Move on with your life, but never stop feeling that you deserve an explanation - even when it doesn't come. You can't forgive the unforgiveable. The ONLY one who needs forgiveness is you.

Not them. - Fighter
~~~~~~~~~~~
The most important thing to keep in mind is that your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you have.

The same things can damage it that damage your other human relations. The deal-breaker is BETRAYAL.

Have you ever felt betrayed? If so, then you know that it is the blackest feeling a human being can have. It is devastating. It is what makes people want to just turn their face to the wall and die.

Because it shows you what you and your suffering mean (are worth) to your betrayer = nothing.

Betrayal severs any human relationship. It puts the betrayed through Hell.

Just think what this means in terms of your relationship with yourself. If you betray yourself to abuse, that betrayal severs your relationship with yourself.

How can this be? Easily. We are composite beings. We are a combination of true inner self and ego. The ego views us as others do. It's that little voice in the head that takes the viewpoint of bystanders and berates you IN THE SECOND PERSON, by saying such things as, "Why can't you hit a stupid backhand in? You are pathetic! Here you are, choking again in a big match!"

That's you (if you're a tennis player having a bad tennis day) talking to you. But why aren't you saying, "Why can't I hit a stupid backhand in? I am pathetic! Here I am, choking again in a big match!"

Answer: You address yourself as "you" instead of "I" to distance yourself from yourself. Because you don't like yourself at the moment and are disowning yourself, relating to yourself as though talking to a different person.

See what's happening to your relationship with yourself? You're not on your side, are you?

This happens to everyone, and it should serve as a strong warning of how easily our composite personality can breakdown, split.

Don't go there. Never, never, never betray yourself to bad treatment. You sin against yourself when you do, and the act WILL destroy your relationship with yourself.

Unfortunately, if you are the victim of a narcissist, it is safe to say that you have already done so.

THIS is what threatens the victim's mental health. You have allowed yourself to be abused. You see that for what it is - bending over for it, laying down for it. No matter how blessed people say that is, you know it's not. You know it is abject. You are profoundly ashamed of doing that.

You hate yourself for it, no matter how hard you work to repress awareness of that to live in denial of it. So, you have committed an offense against yourself (your human dignity). You can never be friends with yourself until you make peace with yourself.

Repair that relationship with yourself. The fruit of forgiveness is reconciliation (ask any theologian).

1. Admit that you have allowed the narcissist to abuse you.

2. Admit that it was wrong to do so, though be fair with yourself and consider the reasons why you were driven to do so.

3. Be sorry that you betrayed yourself to abuse.

4. Make whatever amends are possible and appropriate.

5. Most important - repent = promise to never betray yourself again.

You may recognize those as the 5 formal steps of repentance. They make you forgivable. They allow reconciliation to take place.
Indeed, how can you be reconciled with any offender who doesn't at least stop offending and give you some assurance that he won't keep right on doing it? It is absurd to to think that you can.

And just because it's 3AM and he is sound asleep, unable to offend at the moment, doesn't mean that a state of war doesn't presently exist bewteen you. What he did yesterday counts. What he has always done and never promised to stop doing COUNTS.

"Forgive and forget" is a line penned in Hell, not Heaven.

It is absurd to think you can have any but a hostile relationship with someone offending you in any way, especially when they have refused to stop it.

Hey, if the offender stops doing it, you can be friends again. But ONLY if he stops doing it. You don't have to be friendly to people attacking you or stealing from you in any way. It's called the human right to self-preservation, self-defense. It's a Law of Nature. The very idea that you should like and be nice to someone doing things hostile to you is bizarre and absurd.

To the contrary: You build walls between yourself and people like that.

You answer their attacks to make their attacks cost them dearly, so as to deter future aggression that you might live in peace instead of under constant attack by them. This is just common sense.

And it holds just as true in your relationship with yourself as in your relationship with others. Simply say, "I betrayed myself to abuse in the past, but I will never do so again, so I am no longer a doormat to be ashamed of."

Be on your side.

Take those 5 steps to repair your relationship with yourself - especially the last one in which you establish a firm purpose of amendment to never betray yourself to abuse again.

Now you are forgivable. So, forgive yourself. Embrace yourself.

YOU are the one who deserves and needs your forgiveness.

And chances are that you are the only one who deserves and wants it.

ORIGINAL: Forgiving the One Who Deserves Forgiveness

Lori Drew's Defense? "Everyone Does It!"

Someone please throw the book at Lori Drew. The woman's a murdering sociopath. She stalks and harrasses a teenager online using a fake identity. So badly in fact, the poor kid commits suicide. Then what does she do?:

MEGAN MEIER

• She tells Megan Meier's (the victim's) parents to "give it a rest."
  
• Then she files a police report and get your attorney to try to rewrite history so you can backpedal.
  
• Then she files a police report on the Meier family for being so angry over the DEATH OF THEIR DAUGHTER they ruined your fuzball table. (everyone knows fuzball tables are worth more than a LIFE!)
  
• Then she wants everyone to feel sorry for her because now SHE'S being harrassed; once the story comes out.
  
• Then she tries blame her employee, another teenager, Ashley Grills.
• now... the article below once the Feds FINALLY do what Jack Banas and the lame politicos in O'Fallon, MO failed to do --
  

Mrs. Drew didn't your mother tell you that just because everyone else does it doesn't mean it's O.K. for you to do, too?

Mrs. Drew do you have any sense of RESPONSIBILITY?

Mrs. Drew - you're guilty in our book. Quit your whining. Go to prison. No passing GO, no collecting dime one for your 'pain & suffering.'

Myspace suicide woman 'did what loads of people do online'
By Emma Hughes
Pretended to be someone else and hassled a teen so much she killed herself

MISSOURI MOTHER Lori Drew’s lawyer is now arguing that if she is guilty, then so are millions of other internet users every day.

The case concerns the harassment of a young girl over the net which spiralled out of control when the torment got too much for thirteen-year old Megan Meier, who was subsequently found hung in her bedroom. Drew is charged with one count of conspiracy and three counts of accessing a computer without authorization.

Court papers filed yesterday show that while what Drew did can be seen as wrong, there is no actual legal sanction against it. Drew’s assumed identity of a 16-year-old-boy ‘Josh Evans’ and a count of conspiracy is all she can be pinned for.

Defense attorney H. Dean Steward wrote: “The government, in its zeal to charge Lori Drew with something, anything, has tried to criminalise everyday, ordinary conduct: the wayward or misuse of a social network site”.

This causes a problem, as Drew is but a drop in an ocean of people who commit this ‘crime’ every day.

A former computer crime prosecutor, Mark Rasch confirms this point by noting that “the problem with this case is it makes a criminal out of virtually everybody online.”

Orin S. Kerr, a former federal computer crime prosecutor points out that “the possibilities for abuse are endless because Web site terms of service are arbitrary”, and so the debate continues.

ORIGINAL

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