DETECTING LIES

Are you always the last to know the truth about what's REALLY going on? Does it drive you crazy that you can't seem to pick up clues that someone might be lying, when all your friends seem to be able to spot them a mile away? Here are some telltale signs that what you're hearing might be something less than the whole truth.

(Excerpts applicable to internet communications):

Credibility
...make sure you really listen to their words. If they're explaining why they couldn't make your party, for example, see if the excuse sounds plausible. Some people, in the panic of being forced to lie, can trot out the most absurd story that is just impossible to believe. Really bad liars look skeptical as they tell their tall tale - even THEY don't look like they believe it.

Other people will fire off several excuses in a row, each one more outrageous than the last. Sometimes this list of excuses can even contradict each other, as the liar doesn't have time to think about whether his story works or not.

These are obvious examples of credibility problems, but the bottom line is to combine an awareness the messages this person is sending with his words. If they don't add up, you're entitled to question his truthfulness.


Gut instinct
But how do you deal with a more accomplished liar? What if he seems relaxed and open and has a flawless story? This kind of liar is more of a challenge, but you have a powerful secret weapon left: listen to your instincts.

Sometimes you are face to face with a professional con man or a compulsively unfaithful partner. Such people will be experienced and credible. They will have worked on controlling their reactions to the fear of getting caught out, and will seem natural and trustworthy at first glance. They've probably rehearsed their story, or used it successfully many times before without getting caught, so they are confident that you will believe it too.

In these situations, and often in spite of all the evidence before you, you will sometimes experience a strong feeling that something's not right. Even though logically the story might seem absolutely watertight, something inside you is sending you warning signals.

The biggest mistake you can ever make in such a situation is to ignore this gut feeling. You might not be able to put your finger on your suspicions - let alone explain them to anyone else - bdishout your best course of action is to just reserve judgement until you have more information. Don't accuse anyone, but don't put yourself at their mercy either. Wait until you're sure they're on the level.

Of course, not everyone deserves to be the object of automatic and chronic suspicion. But if you're not sure if someone is lying to you, pay attention. You will find that your ability to spot a lie at 50 paces becomes finely tuned and very reliable.

Written by Elizabeth Hardy
SOURCE

Detective Mom Tracks Down Her Rapist - via Facebook

A mother who was almost raped on the way home from a pub turned detective to track down the alleged sex attacker by finding him on Facebook using his unusual name.

Alpha Gray has pleaded not guilty to attempted rape, sexual assault and causing actual bodily harm in the trial at the Old Bailey.

The victim, who cannot be named for legal reasons, picked him out of an identification parade after finding his Facebook profile and reporting him to police.

She told the court she was left with bruises and a bleeding ear after a man tried to rape her shortly after she left a pub in Tufnell Park, north London, in May.

However, the attacker had told her his name was Alpha, that he was 30, and he lived in Holloway, north London, which was all the information she needed to find his profile on the social networking site.

She told the court: 'It's such an unusual name. I didn't think it was his real name. His picture came up and it turned out he knew someone I knew. There was a picture of him on a beach holding a little girl. When the police phoned me, I said from that picture I would not tell if it was him. I was not 100 per cent sure."

But at the identity parade, she picked out Gray, confirming he was the last person she saw.

'When I saw him it drew my breath away,' she said.

Gopal Hooper, prosecuting, told the court that on leaving the pub the woman, who is in her twenties, was approached by a man who pulled down her top and punched her in the face after she tried to run off.

Mr Hooper said: 'Somebody who said his name was Alpha, who was aged 30, who lived in Holloway, attacked this young woman. His defence is his name is Alpha, he is 30, he lives in Holloway and happened to be in the area at the time. He said his name was Alpha. It is a very unusual name, not like Smith or Jones.'

Gray allegedly later told police he was at a friend's birthday party at a club a few minutes away from the pub where the woman had been with friends.

Police discovered his address and he was arrested two days after the attack.

The case continues.

original article here

L.I. Postal Worker Sent Explicit Photos to “Girl”

by Timothy Bolger

A Garden City (Long Island, USA) postal employee was arrested as he arrived to work Wednesday for sending sexually explicit photos of himself to an undercover detective posing as a 14-year-old girl, Nassau prosecutors said.

Michael Tinghitella, 49, of Mineola, was charged with four counts of attempted endangering the welfare of a child and faces up to a year in jail, if convicted, according to Nassau County District Attorney Kathleen Rice. He pleaded not guilty at his arraignment Wednesday at First District Court in Hempstead and was released on $3,000 bail.

On four separate occasions Tinghitella sent the undercover detective in Massillon, Ohio, who was pretending to be a girl named Brittany, explicit photos and a video of himself, the district attorney said. Tinghitella sent the material from his home computer via an America Online screen name, Rice added.

“The goal of my online predator unit is to pull these predators out from behind their anonymous computer screens and put them in jail where they belong,” Rice said in a statement. “We want to make sure that these individuals find a police detective online before they find one of our children.”

A spokesperson for the United States Postal Service’s Office of Inspector General (USPSOIG), who worked on the case with the district attorney’s investigators and police in Ohio, said it is up to Tinghitella’s supervisors to determine what action will be taken regarding his employment. The case could have been handled federally, as well.

“This particular case was better served at the state level,” said Rafael Medina, spokesman for the New York field office of the USPSOIG.

Tinghitella’s attorney, William Sandback, said his client has a lot of seniority at the post office. “He’s been there 26 years,” he said.

Tinghitella is due back in court on Oct. 14.

original article here