FOR THE VICTIMS: BETRAYAL, YOUR FEAR & THE CYBERPATH

Once you find out what the cyberpath is they may do a combination of any of the following:

• Disappear and/or block you and/or change their nicknames, identity & emails
• Lash out at you
• Smear you
• Belittle you & call you names
• Tell everyone that you both know you are "crazy" or "stalking them" or (the oldest one there is) you're a "scorned man/woman."
• many other nasty, malicious things worthy of a 9 year old

This is betrayal. This is what pathological people do when their 'mask of normalcy' is pulled off. You reel from it because you can't understand. You can't imagine what happened to the attentive loving guy you met who seemed understanding. Nothing happened. That wasn't the REAL PERSON. This monster who is out for your virtual heart is the real person.

Everything else? was a lie.

All you will get now is narcissistic rage. Anger that you busted them. And threats of harm to you, your family and so on. Just read through the stories on the right of our exposed predators and see how they treated their victims.

Take a look at Ed Hicks, Doug Beckstead, Dunetz/ Yidwithlid, Brad Dorsky or Dan Jacoby . Look at how they were to their targets once they got bored or angry with them. Watch their rage, their blame-shifting, their guilt tripping and their disappearing acts from the lives of people who people who really loved and cared about them.

The one thing we can tell you here at EOPC is that 90% of the time, the threats are a form of "control by temper tantrum." Like a 6 year old they are mad that you won't play their game or said "NO MORE" to them. Or they got bored and don't want to play with you anymore, so your emails and attention is suddenly ANNOYING. Now they kick, scream, say rude things & stomp away hoping you will be so upset you will let them start up their game again. Either with you or someone else.

Or, that you are so scared of them you dare don't expose them or tell others. DON'T FALL FOR IT!

And don't for a second think they haven't told their online friends, offline friends, partner/ spouse, job... that you are "obsessed with" them or a "scorned" person. So when you send just one more email or make one more call hoping for explanation, closure, something... they say "see!! see how she is!! she's nuts and won't leave me alone! she's trying to manipulate me!"

What childish bull.

If you really want to help them? Expose them. Make them accountable. Don't let them scare you into silence. Help others stay away! Maybe they will get their relationship/ marriage right. Maybe they will go into LONG TERM counseling. The odds are 98% of them don't.

"The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein

But don't let them scare you. Stand up to a bully no matter how long or what it takes. Take back what they took from you. Your power, your dignity and your peace of mind. - EOPC

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Betrayal, when realized, is a phenomenal existential feeling. Suddenly, your world is no longer the one you believed in. You question reality, but most of all you question yourself.

How, you wonder, could I have been so naive, stupid, blind, trusting, unseeing, unknowing? It may be difficult to believe, but these questions are good. YOU are the normal person, the one who aligns reality (he was so nice to me, he was my friend) with a cognitive belief: he ACTS as if he likes me, he TELLS me he likes me, I see no reason not to believe him because in my past, people who act and speak this way, CAN be trusted. There is congruency. But not now.

Suddenly, you learn that someone trusted - a spouse, lover, family member, close friend - has been putting you down, lying, manipulating others against you, and yet maintaining a stance of intimacy with you.

The world is not clear, the ground you stand on is wobbly. You will never feel good about this. You will not "Get Over" it. But you CAN move forward. You can do so by realizing that no matter how awful the betrayal, YOU are the normal person and this betrayal comes from rage.

This person envies you in some way, is enraged about it, and MUST put you down behind your back. They MUST harm you.

They have no choice. But you do.

In the world of normals, after we get over the shock, we can use this experience to become stronger, to help others, to learn to avoid this particular toxin, and to calm ourselves that the higher moral ground is ours. It's too bad this person acted as he did, we wish he did not, but we are NOT diminished by their pathology. Wiser, sadder, but never diminished.
~~~~

EOPC believes that cyberpathy is a form of pathology. Either narcissistic or sociopathic/ anti-social. Because its exploitative and the cyberpath has no remorse or guilt. Therefore we publish this article for the victims of cyberpaths.

Don't believe they aren't hurting you on purpose. They are. You are not the 'object' they treated you like. Stand up and tell them. They will probably disappear from your life while painting themselves as the victim - OF YOU!

Stop giving them the opportunity - stop trying to "get through" to them, stand up for yourself and starting healing you!

Hurting You Isn't Something Narcissists Do by Accident
by Kathy Krajco

In all the jabber about narcissism, the worst noise is this idea that hurting you is something narcissists do by accident.

If you get nothing else out of "What Makes Narcissists Tick," get the message that frees you of that ridiculous belief. Which is nothing but a baseless assumption.

I don't ask you to take my word for this. Test what I say when I say that narcissists hurt you on purpose. Anyone can test any narcissist.

Here's how: The next time the narcissist is hurting your feelings or making you feel low, let your feelings show and tell him or her how they are making you feel asking them to stop it.Be prepared for a shock. Any normal human being would soften and let up, but a narcissist will do exactly the opposite.

What does that mean?

Is revving up their engines, kicking in the afterburners, and running you right over an "accident" after you show your soft underbelly and beg them to let up on you?

It's no "accident," that's for sure.

Want to see a narcissistic rage? That's no "accident" either. The test: Just fall to your knees in tears begging them to have a heart and stop kicking you around like dirt.
The narcissist's response? He or she blows up into a rage. Is that rage an "accident" when nothing but how deeply they are hurting you provokes it?

No, it's a willful and wanton outrage.

Now hear this: THEY DON'T DO IT BY ACCIDENT. They aren't just inconsiderate and touchy.

Test their "touchiness" (if you can do so safely, or have somebody not at the N's mercy test it - someone who can defend themselves).

Rage right back in their face. Act just as wild right back in their face. Threaten right back. Speak abusively right back.

Now any normal person would be provoked to rage by your doing this in their face. But narcissists are so UNtouchy that they do the opposite. Watch how instantaneously the raging narcissist becomes meek and mild and switches to his "I-wouldn't-hurt-a-fly-mask."

Don't take my word for it. Test it.

You CANNOT insult a narcissist who isn't in a position to bully you! It's impossible. Try it, you'll see. Your lack of vulnerability gives them skin a foot thick! (Not to mention a rubber spine.)

"Touchy" my you-know-what.

They aren't touchy at all. So perceived slights aren't what set them off. The VULNERABILITY of a TARGET OF OPPORTUNITY is what sets them off - IF there are no witnesses.

That's predation, not touchiness.

Narcissists aren't inconsiderate of your feelings. To the contrary, they are extremely considerate of your feelings. Your feelings are exactly what they are trying to affect. They closely observe how you react every time they do something to hurt you.

And they are like sharks, able to smell a drop of blood a mile away. Why? Because your hurt feelings are their pain killing drug.

They are addicted to it. Ever since childhood.

That's what their mental illness is, an addiction. (In fact, all addictions are classed as mental illness.)

So where do people get the stupid idea that narcissists aren't to blame for what they do?

It's asinine to think that narcissists can't control themselves when we see them controlling themselves perfectly whenever witnesses are present. So, what? being behind closed doors makes them suddenly out of control of themselves? Baloney.

Their problem isn't lack of self control; it's lack of conscience. Conscience is what makes people behave the same in the dark as in the light of day.

Okay, they have an addiction to trampling people. They are hooked on the childish high they get from throwing somebody down, stepping on the victim's back, and thumping their chest with a Tarzan yell.

But since when does an addiction amount to a carte blanche? An addiction is just a TEMPTATION. It doesn't remove the addict's responsibility to resist that temptation.

If a heroin addict sees you with heroin, he will attack and may kill you for it - IF there are no witnesses present.

But do we absolve him of his responsibility for the crime just because he's addicted to heroin? Of course not.

Same with the narcissist. Since childhood he has done this mind-altering drug of abusing people and is addicted to it. He addicted himself.

Yet addicted as he is, he demonstrates the ability to control himself by behaving whenever witnesses are present, misbehaving only when he thinks he can get away with it.

Innocence that is not.

He does what he does because nothing but getting his drug matters to him. So he has no conscience. He lives to get it, whenever he can get away with it.

So, hurting others isn't something narcissists do by accident. It's how they live.

The victims of narcissists must understand this. They must quit falling for the masks predation conceals itself behind.

I don't care how much the poor, little, ole narcissist whines that he didn't mean to, and claims that he has an excuse because HIS feelings were somehow hurt, and weeps about what a miserable childhood he had and how sad and forlorn he'll be if you go away, and all that crap. It's a joke.

Painful as this is to admit, the victims of narcissists MUST understand it. It's the bottom line. It predicates your choices.

Don't take my word for it: test and see. 2 + 2 = 4. Always. Even on Thursdays.

SOURCE

The SEXUAL ADDICTION Affair

(note: Many CYBERPATHS are sex addicts who use the internet to hide their real purposes behind pretty words and promises. "I love you" seems to be their way into your bed. It is cheaper than a hooker or more fun to twist someone's emotions and then dump them because you view everyone as an OBJECT. Many of these Cyberpaths are narcissistic psychopaths who are emotionally vacant & immature to the point that many keep reliving the shallow come ons of their 'teen years' and 'being on the make' to prove their prowess and provide themselves with stimulation.)

Dr. Hare describes people he calls psychopaths as "intraspecies predators who use charm, manipulation, intimidation, sex and [threats] to control others and to satisfy their own selfish needs."

(SEE ALSO: "Don Juan as Psychopath")

Here is an article on this sort of "affair" - real or cyber - EOPC)

By: Dr. Robert Huizenga

One kind of extramarital affair revolves around sexual addiction. The partner involved in the affair, plain and simple, has a difficult time saying "NO." He/she may want to, but feels compelled to say "yes."

People can't say no? Well, I believe we all have the capacity, at some level, to say no. However, not all have developed that capacity or reached that level to firmly say no and mean it.

Some are stuck and seem to lack the ability to consistently act on the no. Please remember that all of us are grabbed by something and then find it difficult to let go. Infidelity when connected to sexual addiction and its many forms, however, becomes a powerful focal point.

How to know if infidelity (or Cyberpathy) is attached to sexual addiction:

1. Sex takes on an inflated role or value. Sex, sexual conquest, sexual release becomes a powerful force. Acting on the sexual impulse is a frequent activity. Thinking about sex likewise consumes an inordinate amount of time. Multiple ways of acting out sexually (internet porn, strip clubs, multiple sex partners, online affairs, email lists full of 'contacts', profiles full of fake information or membership on sites catering to dating, prostitutes and/ or those who frequent them, membership on sites for sexual liaisons, etc.) are common.

2. This activity is bound by fear. The person lives with fear: the fear of getting caught, the fear of consequences, the fear of being found out, the fear of being abnormal, the fear of being punished, and the fear of losing family, spouse, job and respect.

3. A promise/ failure cycle ebbs and flows with the inability to say no. After an acting out episode the person usually experiences guilt/fear and promises to self or others, I won't do it again. This will last... until the urge is acted upon again. The spouse/partner may be aware or unaware (but sense that something is not right) of the roller coaster and succession of broken promises.

4. Others are used or seen as objects for personal gratification. No true intimacy is developed.

5. Sexuality sometimes confused with other needs or connected to unresolved past pain or trauma. A child who experiences confusion around sexuality or sexual abuse of one form or another, may carry along that confusion and attempt to work that through in a marriage or extramarital affairs.

6. Such a person lives in a distorted world. They come to see the world and relationship through the eyes of their addiction. They have a great capacity to rationalize their behavior, deceive others and may lead a dual life. (Or be a Pathological Predator, such as a Cyberpath)

Tip: If you suspect these characteristics fit you or someone you love (even someone you know online), get some help for yourself before your world disintegrates further or falls apart.
------

There are many things in our culture that grab us and won't let go. Sometimes sex is one of them. Perhaps that's the case for you or your spouse/partner.

These questions are intended to help you be more aware of some behaviors that perhaps indicate that sex has a hold on you. If you answer yes to three or more questions it probably is wise to take a closer look at the place of sex in your life.

1) Do I have sex at inappropriate times, inappropriate places and/or with the wrong people?

2) Do I make promises to myself or rules for myself concerning my sexual behavior that I find I cannot follow?

3) Have I lost count of the number of sexual partners I've had in the past 3 years?

4) Do I have sex regardless of the consequences (e.g. the threat of being caught, the risk of contracting herpes, gonorrhea, AIDS, oral or genital STDS, etc.)? (condoms don't protect against everything. Viruses can be transmitted and live on the skin, in the mouth and so on for months and be transmitted to the spouse/ partner -- no matter how clean you think you are)

5) Do I feel uncomfortable about my masturbation, the fantasies I engage in, the props I use, and/or the places in which I do it?

6) Do I feel jaded, exhausted, cynical? Am I on the path to that?

7) Do I feel that my life is unmanageable because of my sexual behavior?

8) Do I have sex as a way to deal with or escape from life's problems? Do I feel entitled to sex? Do I feel as though I have earned sex?

9) Do I have a serious relationship threatened or destroyed because of outside sexual activity on my part?

10) Do I feel that my sexual life affects my spiritual life in a negative way?

Internet 'Sex Gang' Off to Jail

Two brothers who led an internet sex gang which made millions by exploiting trafficked women have been jailed.
The gang, which smuggled hundreds of Asian women into Britain to work as prostitutes, made at least £3.2m during its five-year span.

The women were charged up to £30,000 by the gang to repay their travel "debts".

Bordee Pitayatankul, 33, from Surrey, was jailed for 15 months. His brother Pongpoj, 31, from Paddington, was given 18 months at Southwark Crown Court.

Seven other members of the gang were also jailed.

It cannot be right in this day and age that women coming to this country should be, in effect, sold off like slaves

Gang members admitted to various offences including conspiring to launder money and plotting to control prostitution between 1 January 2005 and 21 April 2008.

Up to 70 women - some as young as 18 - worked from at least 20 brothels across London, including Bayswater, Kensington and Paddington, often going with dozens of customers a week to raise the money they were told they owed the gang.

The Oriental Gems website set up by the gang featured the women accompanied by a photo gallery showing them naked or semi-naked.

It also listed their sexual specialities with prices ranging from £150 for one hour to £1,500 for an overnight stay.

Passing sentence, Judge Christopher Hardy said: "It cannot be right in this day and age that women coming to this country should be, in effect, sold off like slaves to work in this or any other trade for free until their debt is expunged.

"Oriental Gems was exploiting on a grand scale both in the number of females on its books, or, more accurately, its website and the turnover in cash generated."

Police estimate that the business was making a "conservative" £800,000 a year at one stage, with the gang pocketing a minimum of £3.2m.

Although officers have seized £179,000 they are yet to trace huge "assets" thought to be hidden abroad.

The judge said authorities should decide whether those convicted should be deported.

Confiscation hearings will be held next year.

SOURCE

QUOTE FROM RELATED ARTICLE:

I have used prostitutes several times, usually from websites, as otherwise I would not have had sex for years.

These girls are all far more gorgeous (and youthful) than any woman I could go out with and offer a stupendous sexual experience - with none of the payback that I have had with girlfriends in the past.

Men Who Sleep with Prostitutes


Readers, does/ did your Cyberpath see you this way? As free sex? Was he someone like Yidwithlid who saw prostitutes on his lunch hours and tried to further supplement his marriage with online sex with real (and vulnerable) women?

Or Dan Jacoby who turned his online 'support group' female friends into free porn shows and emotional toys to feed his out of control libido?

Or John Gash who used the net to find women all over the world for a free place to stay and free sex anywhere he went - while lying about love to every one of them.


Online you are NOTHING BUT AN OBJECT TO THESE MEN. And for many: a way to supplement a huge internet porn & sex habit. And you can be conveniently dumped with a click of a mouse!

FINAL THOUGHTS ON JOHN GASH

From one of Gash's victims: Here is a brief summary of what happened at the end of this relationship (EOPC's comments in purple):

For several months I had noticed a change in his behavior. He was swinging between being utterly charming to downright mean. (the REAL him) He was saying and doing things that eroded my self esteem and confidence which cut through the heart of who I am as a person. He became unreliable about making our regular meetings online and although I would often see him online on my messenger he wouldn't answer my IM's. When challenged he would say it wasn't him but Yahoo. It just happened too often.

(Typical. Dorsky, Gridney/ Yidwithlid, Thomas, Clive, Jacoby - all did/ do the same thing. For Narcissists this is called the "DEGRADE & DISCARD" phase when they get bored with you, blame you, project all the bad onto you and leave - making you feel like crap in the process. This is who they really are. They were just using you for sex & an ego boost. To them people are just OBJECTS which is why the internet is such a fertile HUNTING GROUND for them!)

We had arranged a holiday in Spain to visit some friends of mine. He left his beaten up old address book on the bedside table, I had bought him a new one the previous Christmas and was curious as to why he wasn't using it. I opened it up, took a look and found names, phone numbers and internet id's of ladies. I wrote a couple of the phone numbers down and then challenged him but he denied everything saying these were women he had called before he met me. I had also given him a cellphone to use in Europe and I noticed he was getting lots of voicemails... he always left the room to listen to them which was a big red flag. (Nathan Thomas did this too. A HUGE red flag.)

I packed my bags, told him our relationship was over and left to return home. On arrival back in the UK I contacted a man I knew in the USA and he called the numbers listed in the address book pretending to be a friend of John Gash. The first call was to **** ***** an engineer who worked in the same company. She told him that they (Gash & she) "hooked up" as often as possible. This woman had been a bone of contention with me for some time as she was always leaving him messages when he was with me in the UK and I had seen emails from her. When questioned he told me she called to tell him about contracts they had won. It was strange to me that they always won these contracts when he was overseas with me, so the fact that she admitted they hooked up pretty much confirmed everything I believed.

I left John a voicemail telling him to come to Yahoo messenger as I needed to talk to him. I then confronted him with what I knew. He denied and denied until I told him I would let his child know what type of man their Father was. At that point his cover was about to be blown so he tried to buy my silence by telling me he loved me; that he didn't want this to end; that it had been my decision to end it, not his and he couldn't bear not talking to me again. (Gridney/ Yidwithlid did the same telling his victims he "couldn't lose them out of" his "life." Now 4 years later, this same person attacks his victims and threatens them.

Nathan Thomas told one of his wives that it was "all her fault" because she didn't believe him & stand by him... when he'd BLATANTLY LIED to her. Can't these predators think of anything better? Like the TRUTH?)

I told him he had earned nothing from me and I would not promise him anything. He then admitted sleeping with AT LEAST three women simultaneously. When I told him it was still my intention to still notify his family he became angry, aggressive and ugly. I told him I would need to take an HIV test and advised him to do the same and that, if it was found to be positive I would sue the pants off him. He told me he would take an HIV test for HIS protection only. (Of course ALL about him)

One week later he emailed to say his HIV test was negative which was total BS as two tests are required with a time frame between them even then he was blatantly lying. (Yes, HIV tests require a lot of time. Campbell tried to do this to his victim, too) I am an R.N. and yet he was still trying to B.S. me!

I still have the whole of this conversation printed out and in safekeeping so, should he wish to challenge this expose or threaten a lawsuit he will need to first find the safe deposit box its kept in as it can be used in evidence.

Two years later I went into a Yahoo chatroom and noticed the id Wheelies03 talking in the room. I just knew it was him even though it wasn't an id I knew or had heard before. I got a friendgf to IM him and and he gave her his name and cellphone number. She emailed me the conversation and I sent it right back to him. Immediately the id Wheelies03 was deleted. (BUSTED!) I am certain he is still out there as this has become addictive behavior.

(These guys never change!

"Pathology Is The Inability To:

• change and sustain a change
• grow to any emotional depth and
• develop meaningful insight about one's own behavior and how it effects others."

- SANDRA BROWN, MA."

Let's take a look at some of our past predators:

• Ed Hicks is still trolling as Charles Hicks or someone else.
• William Barber was rearrested for leaving the state of his probation with false ID on him... on his way to do the same thing over!
• "Gridney" changed his nick to Yidwithlid, deleted all his posting about his romps with hookers; though they remain on archival searches, and he has a new political blog under that name as well as being on instant messengers under Yidwithlid 24/7 - despite saying he & his wife "worked it out," and saying he had deleted all his IM programs. ha!
• Beckstead and his proxies are still checking sites like this one and Beckstead tried to reel in his victim this past Christmas while probably working over other victims at the same time.
• Jacoby is now trying to paint his victim as a "whore" and a "crazy woman" (heard that before haven't we, reader?) and is attacking her after using her and taking her time, money and love; for standing up for herself. And he's most probably online now with at least 1 or 2 new targets!
  

These guys may try to delete things from the net or even wipe their hard drives but nothing ever really changes and they NEVER change their M.O.s This is why exposure is so vital:

1. to keep others from falling for their traps and
2. on the outside chance it will be a wake up call for them to get help!

While this rarely happens we can only hope these cyberpaths get help before they hurt more people and themselves & their families. Exposure, not 'get over it' or 'move on' is the first step in reclaiming yourself and healing. These predators need to be held accountable!)

I have had no contact with him since and acknowledge that this man has been doing this for years and getting away with it. I was just one of his many victims.

He once told me several times about a fellow employee at his job who attempted to bring a sexual harrassment case at work and he was required to make a deposition. The employee had to leave her job and was moved from California to another state by the company. I now recognise that the harrassment suit was probably against him and telling me about it was almost like bragging that he had won again.

With this expose I have done all I can to forewarn other women and shown him that he cannot treat me in the way he did and expect me not to stand up for myself. I have exposed him on behalf of all his previous victims and the lady who lost her job. I am much, much stronger than he will ever know.

Thank you Fighter for this website and for allowing us a voice to tell our stories.

Incidentally when I met John Gash for the first time in reality I met him sight unseen, not even a photo. My first reaction on seeing him was "There is noooooooo way anything is going to happen here." I am still to this day wondering how it did. I should have listened to my intuition. (Brainwashing. That's how. Subtle, covert NLP manipulation & brainwashing.)

Today I looked up the word GASH in the dictionary... the definition was:

gash (gsh)
tr.v. gashed, gash·ing, gash·es
To make a long deep cut in; slash deeply.

That about sums it up!

You're welcome! And KUDOS to you for exposing him and showing others the type of patterns and tricks that these predators use on vulnerable, trusting and good people online.

MORE 'LOVE BOMBS' FROM JOHN GASH

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

JANUARY 2008 PREDATOR OF THE MONTH: JOHN GASH

JANUARY 2008 PREDATOR OF THE MONTH:
JOHN GASH

We are starting the year out with a classic tale of cyberpathy. John Gash chatted up women out of town & out of the country from his computer and then traveled to meet and sleep with these women.

Of course he made professions of love and so on... without telling anyone he was married or had more than one woman on his hook.

His victim's story:

My story started in 1999 and lasted 3 years until October 2002 at which time I had discovered his affair with a work colleague, that he is married and that he had, for the whole of our "so called" relationship been communicating with and possibly meeting, other women online.

He is STILL targetting women online. Meanwhile, 5 years later I am still picking up the pieces and coming to terms with the devastation he caused me. This man almost destroyed me and for 2 years I was simply unable to function, work or practise my career. (because of predator mind control & brainwashing. CLICK HERE and HERE for more information on that. Our victims commonly tell us they were unable to function, distracted, sleepless, couldn't focus or think straight or felt like there was a 'wet blanket' on their head)

John is a smooth operator in real life. He was Director of Programs for a well-known aircraft manufacturer for 40 years and has done very well in his career. At face value he seems to be a smart and successful businessman living in San Jose, CA. In reality he is a liar, cheat and predatory con man.

ONLINE NICKNAMES

• Jdgash99
• cooljohn99
• wheelies03
• wheelies06
• ufo_flying_the_sky
• stanford2426.

These are all in Yahoo chats & groups

I also found a bunch of ICQ numbers for him but unfortunately have now deleted them.

He hangs in 50's/60's chat and romance rooms in Yahoo and plays bridge on Yahoo and MSN.

I have sufficient evidence here to put before any Court in the event he would want to sue and like Miss Lewinsky I even have his DNA as he left his hairbrush here so the possibility of court action really doesn't phase me at all.

When I discovered what he had done to me and challenged him he refused to talk to me or discuss it. He changed his home phone number, emailed me to say that if I ever came to California NOT to visit him or he would have me arrested!!! This from the man who for three years had been a part of my life and professed to love me. (very typical - they become ENRAGED when you catch them. )

It's time he was exposed for who he really is and what he does online.

Well SAID!

We will be posting chats Gash had with one of his victims throughout the month.

And as always, if Mr. Gash wishes to contact us for a referral to long term counseling for his predatory exploitation of innocent women and/or for his obvious sex and love addiction, he can do so at our email address at the right.

John Gash, here's your PREDATOR award: