When caught by Targets #1 and #2 - as we said before Dunetz/ YidwithLid - like most cyberpaths - tried to SMOOTH it out. How? by lying, trying to bend time and rewriting history!
Online predators hope you haven't talked to anyone (or they make sure no one speaks to you by smearing you) or kept track - so that the cognitive dissonance they have planted in your brain can be reworked to make THEM the victim of circumstances.
Unfortunately Dunetz/ YidwithLid underestimated his Targets. And still does.
In this conversation he appealed to Target #1s dearest friend - whom they both knew. We will refer to this third woman as Friend of Target #1 or 'FOT1.' Target #1 had told FOT1 about her online relationship with Dunetz/ YidwithLid in the 2 years previous (btw, Yidwithlid tried to get this friend of Target #1s to play online sex games with him TOO! That makes THREE (3) of her friends he tried to prey on)
Target #1 - I had to tell someone. It was chewing me up inside.
FOT1 asked me to introduce them and I did. She wanted to see how sincere he was - since like a true friend, she is very protective of me - but gridney/ YidwithLid fooled her too.... until we also caught him in his lies.
FOT1 also told us that Dunetz/ YidwithLid tried to have cybersex with her a couple times but she shut him down. He also accused FOT1 & Target #1 of "sexually taunting him" online. It was the other way around, of course.
Find out a narcissist's depiction of you. You get hints of the picture they have of you in what they say and how they treat and react to you. Be prepared for a stupefying shock. Find out how the narcissist depicts you to others. I guarantee that you won't recognize yourself. The narcissist's depiction of you bears no resemblance to reality.
He just makes it up according to his whim and fancy as he goes along. And, being the author of this work of fiction, he can change it overnight. Which explains why you often see a narcissist's opinion of someone go upside-down overnight. That's what an editor's pen can do to a work of fiction.
Narcissists' cavalier attitude in doing this is breathtaking.
Callous is what callous does.
Dunetz/ YidwithLid (like all cyberpaths) tries to rewrite history and tell absolute stone cold lies to FOT1 to try to discredit Target #1 some more, not realizing Target #1 already told FOT1 everything; and even introduced FOT1 online to Target #2 hours before.
FOT1 plays dumb to see what Yidwithlid will try to tell her (get out your hipboots - the 'poor me' doo-doo gets pretty deep here)
Watch as Dunetz/ YidwithLid, like a typical predator - starts playing around with the parsing he will probably practice over & over until he comes to a consensus as to what to tell to his wife and friends about all these poor Victims for years to come!! (our comments in DARK BLUE):
FOT1: hey gridney/ YidwithLid
gridney/ YidwithLid: I am an ass
FOT1: well, ok
FOT1: what makes you say that???
gridney/ YidwithLid: Its a long story
FOT1: do tell
gridney/ YidwithLid: ok
gridney/ YidwithLid: I met someone online that I really care about
gridney/ YidwithLid: it happened after that nite
(LIE. According to chats we reviewed gridney/ YidwithLid started LOVE BOMBING Target #2 in mid- January 2004.'
The night' gridney/ YidwithLid got so upset [see below] and told Target #1 she was 'just about sex and always had been' was February 20, 2004 according to the chat logs.
So -- he was already involved with Targets #1 AND #2 at the same time. No separation. In fact, LARGE overlap! THIS IS WHY ITS SO IMPORTANT TO SAVE CHATS WHEN SOMETHING'S GOING ON and TELL SOMEONE so they can validate what is going on!!)
gridney/ YidwithLid: well you know when I got upset that night
(one night Target #1 and FOT1 and gridney/ YidwithLid were online chatting - the three of them got to joking around about sex and gridney/ YidwithLid got so 'upset' he left.
In reality -- he left to go have cybersex with Target #2.
When Target #1 asked him what was wrong - he BLAMED her & FOT1 for 'torturing him.' Dunetz/ YidwithLid even went so far as to tell Target #2 that FOT1 & Target#1 purposely TOYED with him - in order to further win Target #2s sympathy and turn her against Target #1... for cyberpath insurance)
FOT1: remind me again why you got upset? I was never really clear on that
gridney/ YidwithLid: because honestly I felt that I was being toyed with.
(LIE - he just couldn't do sex chat with 2 different windows open at once)
gridney/ YidwithLid: anyway..Target #1 and I stayed online that night
gridney/ YidwithLid: very late
(FOT1 KNOWS that gridney/ YidwithLid only spoke to Target #1 briefly and gridney/ YidwithLid said the following (paraphrased & confirmed): " The truth is the reason I will never sleep with you is that for me it would be JUST about sex and it would mess you up too much!" after which gridney/ YidwithLid coldly blocked Target #1.)
The whole chat between gridney/ YidwithLid and Target #1 lasted about 15 minutes not 'till 3am' as gridney/ YidwithLid tried to say. FOT1 confirmed that she knew it too because Target #1 and FOT1 talked together until LATE THAT EVENING about gridney/ YidwithLid's bizarre behavior towards them online! So he's blatantly lying trying to play martyr.
gridney/ YidwithLid had just blown off Target #1 with a malicious comment and no real talk or explanation... of course the comment was finally an honest one - it was ALWAYS JUST ABOUT SEX WITH HER! Target #1 was stunned and sick. Remember she'd been defending him and taking abuse because of him!
[Note here readers: According to chat records - 2 days after gridney/ YidwithLid's outburst of honesty when he told Target #1 it was 'just about sex' for him - he PROFUSELY apologized, said he'd 'forgotten to take his antidepressants' and 'didn't know what came over' him - in order to reel Target #1 back in.
In the SAME chat he said he was going away on business for a week and would be BUSY. Target #1 said he was online quite a bit that week and didn't even have the decency to block her so Target #1 saw him online much of the time he was away.
Target #2 confirmed he was having non-stop cybersex while out of town, with her.
So gridney/ YidwithLid was 'working.' Guess who he was WORKING on and cybersex-bombing that whole week? Yes... Target #2!]
Target #1 had been devalued and was going to be drop kicked ASAP. Yes, even the "friendship" with Dunetz/ YidwithLid she held so dear was going to get disposed of because gridney/ YidwithLid was BORED with her and didn't feel like dealing with the abusive ex-husband in the picture. Despite the fact gridney/ YidwithLid started the relationship and the abuse was BECAUSE of Dunetz/ YidwithLid.
gridney/ YidwithLid who professed to be so caring - could have cared less!)
FOT1: well you should have said something to us
FOT1: we always joke around like that
gridney/ YidwithLid: I did
gridney/ YidwithLid: 'to target #1 (no he didn't)
gridney/ YidwithLid: then I went away
gridney/ YidwithLid: and then when I got back I pulled away from target #1
gridney/ YidwithLid: I had to it was making me crazy
(its TARGET #1's fault he's a sex addict?)
FOT1: what was making you crazy?
gridney/ YidwithLid: tension
gridney/ YidwithLid: we both wanted to sleep with each other but knew it could never happen (BALONEY! another lie! Target #1 turned him down flat!)
gridney/ YidwithLid: we talked about it till like 3 in the morning
(complete LIE - Target #1 was so upset by gridney/ YidwithLid that evening - she & FOT1 spoke for hours by phone the same evening. Phone records confirm this. BOTH were totally mystified about why gridney/ YidwithLid got so upset! - see above.
Now they know - gridney/ YidwithLid can't manipulate too many targets AT THE SAME TIME)
gridney/ YidwithLid: anyway I started talking to someone online and we got very close
(he was already talking to her. He'd already TARGETED the next woman Target #1 unwittingly introduced to him, using Target #1s kind words about him as his calling card!)
gridney/ YidwithLid: I was even making a buisness trip to go meet her
(MAKING a business trip? just to see a target and get laid... or do business? If its the former, and it was!... that's fraud. Online predators will use anything to get what they want.
REMEMBER - gridney/ YidwithLid had been unemployed and was desperately job hunting when he first started with Target #1 two years prior. Now gridney/ YidwithLid has a job and he admits he's using job resources for cybersex, phone sex and to plan an affair. Unfortunately -- his boss forgave him or looked the other way.)
gridney/ YidwithLid: Well yesterday her and Target #1 talked and now they are both so hurt
FOT1: hang on - but you practically had to be coaxed out with a handful of sugar cubes to go meet Target #1 for LUNCH! (see bottom of this post for Target #1s comments about that one lunch with gridney/ YidwithLid)
gridney/ YidwithLid: no
gridney/ YidwithLid: I was supposed to see her next week
FOT1: Yes, for the second time in 2 years
gridney/ YidwithLid: because I could deal with it now
(poor gridney/ YidwithLid huh? deal with WHAT?? What about that 'tension'?
notice him dangling the prospect of a 'real friendship' with Target #1 now.
A promise he never had any intention of keeping.
Or because he had a new target? We think the latter.)
gridney/ YidwithLid: now you know the reason I felt I couldn't
gridney/ YidwithLid: and now I have hurt her
gridney/ YidwithLid: now I have hurt Target #2
gridney/ YidwithLid: and most importantly I have lost her as a friend
(which one gridney/ YidwithLid? Online predators have no real friends - only prey. Who treats a FRIEND the way you treated both targets!)
gridney/ YidwithLid: I have been throwing up all morning (sympathy ploy)
FOT 1: DESTROYED her, gridney/ YidwithLid. The word is DESTROYED. You have no idea the amount of abuse she puts up with in your name on a daily basis for something she never even did!
gridney/ YidwithLid: thats why I was reluctent to see her to make it worse and I have anyway
(no he was a coward and playing games - notice how like a typical predator he paints himself as chivalrous & thoughtful)
gridney/ YidwithLid: I cant throw up anymore
FOT1: so don't throw up
gridney/ YidwithLid: Im so nauseous
(boo hoo... notice how gridney/ YidwithLid talks about HIMSELF now for the most part and not a word or thought as to what his targets must be thinking & feeling. Revealing himself as at least a destructive narcissist)
FOT1: so what are you going to do then?
gridney/ YidwithLid: I dont know
gridney/ YidwithLid: FOT1 -- I do love target #1 and dont want to lose her out of my life
gridney/ YidwithLid: I dont know what to do
(sympathy ploy again - looking to involve Target #1's good friend in bailing him out)
gridney/ YidwithLid: except throw up
FOT1: you love her?
gridney/ YidwithLid: yes but not in a romantic sense anymore. It started going away that night
(what? how does love and honest emotion "START going away"?
gridney/ YidwithLid again is BLAMING Target #1 for HIS immature emotional state and the fact that he never had any feelings towards her. The whole relationship was a set up from day one on his part. A set up towards a woman he'd known almost 30 YEARS! and her friends! Shameless
This is the SAME guy who told Target #1 he "couldn't feel" emotion and then that he "couldn't control. REMEMBER? )
FOT1: so you did love her in a romantic sense at one point?
gridney/ YidwithLid: yes
FOT1: did you ever tell hr?
gridney/ YidwithLid: no
gridney/ YidwithLid: not exactly
FOT1: well gridney/ YidwithLid you either tell someone you love them or you don't
(FOT1 knows that gridney/ YidwithLid has now been LOVE BOMBING Target #2 - telling her he loved her and she was his soulmate; a women he'd never even MET IN PERSON... but doesn't reveal that to gridney/ YidwithLid yet)
gridney/ YidwithLid: no I didnt
(of course he didn't - gridney/ YidwithLid dangled it to keep Target #1 in his web of deception and pain so he could continue to inflict emotional torture on her and use her online for sexual gratification and kicks)
gridney/ YidwithLid: but eveytime we tried to stop we couldnt
(wait! gridney/ YidwithLid initiated the relationships with BOTH targets!
Didn't Target #1 try a number of times to stop it & leave and gridney/ YidwithLid kept reeling her back in??
And from confirmed unaltered chat histories we read - gridney/ YidwithLid initiated 99% of the cybersex with Target #1. Cyberpath - BLAME Shifting (ie 'its not MY fault!))
gridney/ YidwithLid: but I forced myself
FOT1: you forced yourself?
FOT1: Or you found it easier because you had someone else to play with?
gridney/ YidwithLid: no because that happened almost two month before I met Target #2
(this is a complete lie - he and Target #1 had cybersex, initiated by him, just a couple weeks before this conversation - confirmed by EOPC.
gridney/ YidwithLid just ignores FOT1's brilliant comment above - which, if you read it again, was right on the money!)
FOT1: how did you meet her?
gridney/ YidwithLid: she commented on one off my articles so I sent her a thank you
(another COMPLETE lie - Target #1 introduced them, remember?
gridney/ YidwithLid is practicing his 'story' and 'historical juggling' already.
Target #2 said Yid BEGGED her to open up IM with him! Cyberpaths always practice their stories to edit for believability)
gridney/ YidwithLid: and she email back
(Blame- Shifting again. The truth was gridney/ YidwithLid INITIATED the relationship with Target #2 also)
FOT1: you send thank yous to everyone who comments?
(even the MEN? And we know he COLLECTS email addresses from his site)
gridney/ YidwithLid: yes
gridney/ YidwithLid: I do
gridney/ YidwithLid: read the bottom of one of my articles
gridney/ YidwithLid: it says right there
FOT 1: k
gridney/ YidwithLid: He reads and responds to all of his mail, so comment by here
FOT1: oh, yeah, of course I remember now
gridney/ YidwithLid: and then we started emailing
(WE? Who initiated? Guess!)
gridney/ YidwithLid: and iming
gridney/ YidwithLid: and one thing led to another
(gridney/ YidwithLid purposely seduced Target #2 also, he means.
gridney/ YidwithLid is one horny guy with a keyboard, huh?
Does he just initiate cybersex with every female he knows online who isn't a family member? Looks like it! Misogynist.)
FOT1: gridney/ YidwithLid you do know Target #1 loved you, and that for her love is something she tries to avoid because it has only ever brought her pain
gridney/ YidwithLid: until we had a big fight yesterday
(gridney/ YidwithLid pays NO attention to what FOT1 just said, too busy thinking of plausible lies. Additionally - There was no fight with Target #2 according to her; other than Yidwithlid not wanting to answer a direct question and getting offline fast!)
gridney/ YidwithLid: I had a big fight with her yesterday because.. she didnt want me to be friends with target #1
(another complete lie - it was gridney/ YidwithLid who didn't want Targets #1 and #2 to be friends. Classic Cyberpath move - reverse or split the truth and keep targets apart at all costs!)
gridney/ YidwithLid: and the rest as we say is history
(glibness and stock-phrase .... inappropriate considering the seriousness of what's happening)
FOT1: how does she know Target #1?
gridney/ YidwithLid: they met on a newsgroup (another LIE)
FOT1: oh, right
gridney/ YidwithLid: thats how she got to read mystuff
(No, another lie...Target #1 SENT gridney/ YidwithLid's writing to Target #2 & asked her help in getting it circulated... remember? He owes Target #1 some big thanks but no way will he thank her. More gridney/ YidwithLid twisting reality)
gridney/ YidwithLid: I asked target #1 if I could call her and she is ignoring me
FOT1: well from the sound of it that's not surprising
gridney/ YidwithLid: she told target #2 that I said bad things about her which is not true
(yet ANOTHER lie for sympathy - sounds kind of high school/immature too.)
And just guess what has gridney/ YidwithLid been saying about Target #1 and FOT1 to Target #2)
FOT1: why would she lie
gridney/ YidwithLid: I never said anything cause I knew it would hurt her
(no gridney/ YidwithLid, you never said anything because you liked lying and dishonesty and toying with your targets.
Again - notice gridney/ YidwithLid TOTALLY avoids FOT1's comment that her friend isn't the type to lie or a liar. gridney/ YidwithLid just keeps pushing his story)
gridney/ YidwithLid: I swear
(anyone who has to SWEAR they are telling the truth ...... is hiding something)
FOT1: Target #1 doesn't lie
(Targets #1 and #2 have no motive to lie! Only gridney/ YidwithLid does...
REMEMBER that when dealing with Online Predators - remember WHO has reason to be lying.... you or them?)
gridney/ YidwithLid: I never discussed Target #2 with Target #1
(of COURSE he didn't - he was playing a game called Triangulation)
gridney/ YidwithLid: On my life
(what life would that be?)
gridney/ YidwithLid: gtg
gridney/ YidwithLid: Target #1 wouldnt pic up her mobile
(gridney/ YidwithLid was frantically trying to call Target #1 now.... to try to anchor more lies)
FOT1: well I did say to leave a message. She's a busy woman
gridney/ YidwithLid: I dont know
FOT1: you know how it is... kids and all, also she's ill, remember
gridney/ YidwithLid: Her vioce mail didnt pic up
gridney/ YidwithLid: I dont htink
gridney/ YidwithLid: I ddint hear a beeb
gridney/ YidwithLid: but Italked anyway
FOT1: what'd you say?
gridney/ YidwithLid: I said that I didnt want to loseher from my life that she was too important and could we talk
(gridney/ YidwithLid later left that same 'canned comment' on BOTH Target #1 and Target #2s home numbers - showing it was planned and calculated.)
BTW readers, if Target#1 was so "important" wouldn't gridney/ YidwithLid have shown more consideration or introduced Target #1 to his family as she requested in the first place or had lunch with her right away - 2 years back?
What was truly important was that he SHUT UP EVERYONE as FAST as he could & told his wife & family a spun story to protect himself.
No! Yidwithlid decided to use & abuse Target #1 from day one. He looked her up for sex. Period.
Keeping her a secret and using her woundedness and old feelings for him to lead her into a sick relationship that he could twist her anyway he wanted and keep her online as an object and out of his real life. User.)
FOT1: gridney/ YidwithLid she's been awake for 30 hours
FOT1: she's distraught
FOT1: you've utterly destroyed any trust she had in you
FOT1: you've made her feel used
gridney/ YidwithLid: I know (no you don't you couldn't POSSIBLY!)
gridney/ YidwithLid: but I wasnt
gridney/ YidwithLid: I swear
(again with the 'I swear' - protesting their innocence - like Brad Dorsky, Nathan E.B. Thomas, Ed Hicks, Doug Beckstead and so on... Deny Deny Deny.)
FOT1: you weren't what?
FOT1: using her?
gridney/ YidwithLid: we were supposed to meet next week
gridney/ YidwithLid: I asked her to keep the lucnh
gridney/ YidwithLid: so w can talk
FOT1: you know, if I were her I wouldn't want to talk to you
FOT1: I would feel very used and betrayed
gridney/ YidwithLid: I know
(no gridney/ YidwithLid you wouldn't know - he's too busy trying to dig himself out of the pit he's gotten himself in.
Both targets were deeply traumatized... Target #2 was enraged, as you will find out )
FOT1: you were using her, weren't you
gridney/ YidwithLid: no
gridney/ YidwithLid: I wasnt (yes you were. from the get-go!)
FOT1: well; what else do you call cybersex with her, and then another woman, with no intention of anything else?
gridney/ YidwithLid: I told you how it happedn and they were sepreated by time
(again trying to sell his LIE about times & dates. gridney/ YidwithLid is going to stick to this story now that he's decided on it.
Just like Charles "Ed" Hicks, Doug Beckstead and Dan Jacoby)
gridney/ YidwithLid: and there was an intention
(gridney/ Yidwithlid - you are supposedly in sales so you should know better! you never give a "buy" indication with no intention of really BUYING. You NEVER seduce & use a vulnerable woman and then just leave her hanging... especially one you've known all those years!! This was a PERSON not a THING!)
FOT1: what did you intend?
(reminder: she's asking about HER FRIEND Target #1 - and now check gridney/ YidwithLid's SELFISH predatory response:)
gridney/ YidwithLid: I had set up a trip to see Target #2
( FOT1 meant HER FRIEND - what was gridney/ YidwithLid's intention with her friend -Target #1! He's still thinking he can get some free sex out of this somewhere!
The person gridney/ YidwithLid had been toying with for 2 years?... stupid gridney/ YidwithLid just jammed his foot into his mouth even further! - FOT1 now loses her cool....)
FOT1: I meant MY friend,Target #1! Not your newest girlfriend, Target #2.
You've been lying and toying with Target #1 for 2 years with no intention other than to twist her into knots and using her! So, what do you expect after what you've done to my best friend? Lied about ME, too. I tell you what, Dunetz, you best be sh*tting yourself. You ********. And you call yourself a spiritual man. I think not. All you think about is your **** and I wish you everything you deserve. What a filthy lying s**tbag you are.
After this FOT1 revealed to Target #1 that gridney/ YidwithLid had tried a few times to initiate cybersex with her but she blew him right off.
He did the same to Target #1s friend K**** after getting her off Target #1's Buddy list!
gridney/ YidwithLid when confronted said he was 'only kidding.' (Cyberpaths ALWAYS minimize or justify their behavior)
FOT1 knew for 2 years about Target#1 and gridney/ YidwithLid's 'relationship.' She had NO INTENTION of being gridney/ YidwithLid's next victim and didn't want to hurt Target #1 in case she was WRONG about him. Online Predators make everyone second guess themselves!
Target #2 told us that gridney/ YidwithLid had reported to her that FOT1 & Target #1 liked to "taunt him sexually" online and make him "feel bad." So of course, Target #2 (who was in love with gridney/ YidwithLid) - hated FOT1 & Target #1 for doing this to him. Exactly what gridney/ YidwithLid the predator wanted.
Notice how gridney/ YidwithLid sowed hatred amongst these women to attempt make sure they didn't compare his stories & to protect HIMSELF! (Target #2's statement to us bears out that gridney/ YidwithLid told her untrue stories about the other two women)
By the way - FOT1? Is young enough to be gridney/ YidwithLid's daughter! Cyberpaths who are sexual addicts have NO BOUNDARIES and no shame.
Target #1: "I finally told gridney/ YidwithLid in August 2003 - 'lunch or let's just stop chatting - this is getting ridiculous' and I told him 'things have to change.' I gave him a chance to get out, figuring he'd lost interest.
But no.... he got back to me the next day with a date and time to 'have lunch' - 3 weeks from my ultimatum.
It didn't go well. gridney/ YidwithLid was stand-offish and didn't look me in the eye. The conversation revolved around pleasantries with ZERO acknowledgement of what had passed between us. He positioned us at a table where he could sit FAR away from me.
Besides the remoteness and stinging reserve, the most disturbing thing he did was upon leaving. There was a short flight of stairs to negotiate. I gingerly walked by the wall so I could steady myself. Due to my disability, my legs aren't always reliable. Rather than stepping in and helping me, like most normal people do, he stood at the bottom of the stairs and backed away like I was a monster. He should have just called me ugly, pathetic or something - it would have been more honest. I cried in the car on the way home.
The question that gave us the best picture of the psychopath in action was “How did he act when you were ill?” Illness implies vulnerability which is a perfect time for a psychopath to take advantage of someone.
Since psychopaths get bored easily and being ill is fairly boring, it is easy to anticipate that a psychopath would be “challenged” to be consistently helpful in illness. Couple the sense of being bored with a lack of empathy, compassion, and very low cooperation and you can pretty much guarantee she’ll have to take care of herself if she gets sick.
He either got bored with helping or he only helped when others were around watching. The overwhelming majority of the psychopaths didn’t give care when someone needed it. In fact many of the psychopaths ignored serious and life threatening illnesses in their mates. Here are some of the typical answers:
“He doesn’t show empathy or any kind of support.”
“He didn’t offer to help me get better. He would call and feign sympathy. But all he really wanted to find out was if I was well enough to come over so he could use me for sex.”"Tension? Couldn't control? Making him crazy? dunetz/ YidwithLid could 'handle it now"? What does this sound like to you, readers? - Fighter
And true to Dunetz/ YidwithLid's programming of me and my belief I could 'help' him, I became part of the pattern again, even after this lunch that demonstrated his true and malignant character.
This gets more twisted - come back for more this month!
There are two other significant features of emotional rape, the first being sudden reversal. The second characteristic is that victims feel extremely "used" and fear they will never be able to love or trust again. - Dr. Mike Fox