originally posted in February 2005
In January 2004 Yidwithlid (aka GRIDNEY) wrote an article that Target #1 gladly helped edit for him (his spelling and syntax is atrocious from what we have read on his personal website). As always, EOPC's editors comments in purple. It gets confusing - so feel free contact EOPC for clarification.
Target #1 then introduced him to an online female friend (we'll call her Target #2) that she'd just started emailing with across the country who was involved with similar issues . Target #1 asked Target #2 to help place his article in a couple more places.
(Target #2 independently confirmed to us that it was Target #1 who introduced them. EOPC conducted phone interviews with Target #2 - without Target #1 knowing - so we could be sure they were not concocting a story. Law enforcement has also confirmed the facts before telling us they had to go silent because of a "larger" investigation - which we will talk about later.)
Target #1 eventually learned that VERY shortly after introducing them, Yidwithlid initiated an online affair with Target #2
(We are unable to get permission from Target #2 to publish her IMs with Yidwithlid as she did not save most of them. She did however consent to independent interviews with us)
Target #1 - I had no idea they knew each other, outside me introducing them. Target #2 told me about 2-3 days after she helped place the article Yidwithlid wrote (supposedly at my suggestion) Yidwithlid asked Target #2 to open an IM window one day.
At the same time I was writing her, trying to get to know her better - seemed we had a lot in common. Target #2 would ask me questions about Yidwithlid and I was so dumb - I just said he was a great person. Little did I know he'd totally trashed me, made up outrageous lies about my past & present relationship to him and was starting to do his "love bombing" to her.
Target #2 ALSO came from an unhappy marriage, was disabled with a mental illness and had a background of sexual & emotional abuse so, once again was an easy target for Yidwithlid. Target #2 told us she stopped communicating with Target #1 for many weeks at Yidwithlids insistence. (Typical Cyberpath - SEPARATE YOUR TARGETS!)
(Target #2: "he told me he had taken Target #1s virginity (that's a lie readers, designed to anchor Yidwithlid's lies that Target #1 was obsessed with him. See how similar all these people are in creating a very plausible platform from which to prey on the wounded!) and she was stalking him. That he loved only ME and was just humoring her. Yidwithlid said some really nasty things about her. So I did what he said. I believed him!")
One evening, Target #2 told us she got very tired of Yidwithlids cryptic comments and finally IM'd Target #1 to ask her a question about Yidwithlid.
Target #1 - I had cc'd both of them on an article I had stumbled across that day. As I said, I didn't even KNOW they knew each other. Little did I know this triggered a series of events that finally led to the horrible truth coming out.
Target #2 and I spent a good hour just verbally avoiding saying anything about our true relationships to Yidwithlid. Finally I came right out and asked "are you having cybersex with him?" Her answer "Yes.... and more." I asked her for her phone number immediately. My whole body went cold and bile came up my throat.
Yidwithlid and I had had very intense cybersex just a few days before. It had upset me because I didn't want to but I couldn't help myself (he had her in his "thrall" readers! Like all of them)
In fact, that time J'd texted messaged me on my cell just a few minutes after I signed off from a very boring chat with him! It was BIZARRE because when I signed back on my computer at his request, it was like talking to another person!! (Dissociative fugue of a sex addict readers! Yidwithlid couldn't find anyone else online so he just decided to have a little fun with Target #1 KNOWING she was already compliant)I had had many indications from Yidwithlid for the months prior something more was going on - here was the awful truth. But it was the tip of the iceberg. I asked him outright a few times if he was ok because he worried me. Yidwithlid was very malicious to me even saying one time:
"You want the truth? OK, if I was with you it would just be about sex. Its always been about just sex with you." - Yidwithlid
And he left (FINALLY he told the horrifying truth to this woman knowing she'd agreed to the relationship and was now brainwashed with his 'help' to say in it)After 36 hours of no sleep for Target #1 or #2, here's some highlights of what came out of that all night conversation. Yidwithlid had been love bombing Target #2 for about 4-5 weeks by then.
A couple days later he wrote me he'd forgotten to take his depression meds and he was truly sorry - please not to stop talking to him. (lie)I was in a total mental fog by then about right & wrong.
Target #2 told us that Yidwithlid told Target #2 the following over the 5 weeks of their chatting. Remember Yidwithlid knew Target #1 in person but had never met Target #2 (does any of this sound familiar to you?):
- they were "soulmates,"
- Target #2 was Yidwithlids one and only
- he didn't love his wife at all
- He & Target #2 were 'twin souls'
- that Target #1 'lost her virginity to him' and that was why she been stalking him for years (remember Yidwithlid made first contact with Target #1 - and when we asked Target #1 she said no, she'd broken up with a long term boyfriend/ fiance in high school back then who'd taken her virginity and Yidwithlid was well aware of that fact!)
- Yidwithlid had offered to buy a video camera for Target #2 to make him 'personal movies'
- offered Target #2 money to help her out and pay for them to take trips together
- called Target #2 sometimes 3-4 times a day to talk and/or have phone sex (from a cell phone his job was paying for; see the cheaters 'how to' book!)
- he would be online with Target #2 while NOT EVEN BOTHERING to block Target #1 - willfully ignoring her ( both of them said Yidwithlid would put up a "WORKING" message - like all of them: working on more TARGETS or watching porn to fill his dialogue with targets)
- that he hated porn (remember the past posts about his penchant for PORN - and later - loads of porn sites are traced to his IP and credit card!!)
- had given Target #2 his business phone, his cell number and a variety of ways to contact him
- that he was just being nice to Target #1 and "never loved [Target #1], never!!"
- Yidwithlid had set up a meeting with a client not far from Target #2 so she could come meet him to start a physical affair, and stay at his hotel on Yidwithlids employer's dime
- he LOVED Target #2 and was IN LOVE with her (repeatedly)
- had planned more trips (around business meetings paid for by his employer at the time) for himself & Target #2 so their "love could go on forever"
- had specifically told Target #2 NOT to communicate with Target #1 ("if you tell [Target #1] she will be jealous and ruin our happiness")
Target #1: During our conversation (which went on all night and into the next day) Target #2 and I both realized Yidwithlid weaving a tapestry of lies and conceit, the details of which are perplexing, often silly and horribly painful. It was now painfully evident that Yidwithlid was a deeply sick person.
Where the lies ended and the truth started, its doubtful even he knew. Some lies were exactly the same, some were polar opposites, some were anchored in partial truths, some were real WTF moments. And in the interest of pleasing someone I cared for - I went along with it all. I was horrified and wanted to die.
It was finally clear to me what I had known in college, and what he worked so hard to dispel that he was not "into" me. In fact, Target #2 and I compared some dates and times:
- Yidwithlid told had 'broken down' and 'admitted' he was IN LOVE with Target #2 the day before he had last had cybersex with me. (independently verified by EOPC with Target #2)
- Yidwithlid was too cowardly to tell me truth himself - though I had asked him point blank a few times.
- Yidwithlid wouldn't admit I'd introduced him to Target#2- tried to tell everyone he met Target #2 via his website - but even Target #2 said "no, she [Target #1] introduced us!" (independently verified by EOPC with Target #2)
- Yidwithlid had steadfastly refused to give me his phone number, supposedly for fear his wife or my ex-husband would find out; even as a friend knowing I was taking abuse because of Yidwithlid. My ex-husband already HAD it and had given it to me 18 months prior! I had it but I NEVER used it or violated this information. I was waiting for him to stop all the nonsense but got sucked into it because of my lack of ego. I had no intention and never have had, of hurting his wife, family or kids.
- Also, later law enforcement showed me it was all online anyway - and anyone could have found it by surfing on "gridney" and then using zabasearch on his real name.
Now Yidwithlid's sickness and dysfunction was plain as day; mine was harder to get at. My therapists have explained to me I had been brainwashed and reeled in with the obsession Yidwithlid'd seductively planted in my brain that somehow I could help him and that he 'needed' me.
Readers, Cyberpaths relish doing this to their victims - even when caught they plant their 'hooks' deep and the Targets turn themselves inside out to remove them. Targets often spend weeks, months and years trying to figure out what happened - Cyberpaths just tell selective truth to their partners and counselors and tell everyone else to "move on" & "get over it" to avoid further scrutiny!
They have probably been lying about so much stuff in their lives they will blame everyone around them and "shut down" all inquiries into the house of sand their lives are built on.
Yes, EOPC has had demands and threats to remove postings from Cyberpaths. Unless we have hard and verified information that the posts were NOT TRUE, they stay up!
Now REMEMBER - Target #1 had tried a few times to discontinue with Yidwithlid with the nagging thought that in the 2 years prior that Yidwithlid was no longer interested in her - Yidwithlid would come back and BOMB Target #1 with how much she meant to him and “please don't stop talking to me."
REMEMBER the first posts about him? Their chats? Yidwithlid'd told Target #1 he wasn't demonstrative ('I was too laid back & too macho to tell you how I felt'- was approximately how he put their earlier and current 'relationship'). Yet here Yidwithlid was telling a woman he had never met in person that he "LOVED her, never loved his wife", made plans to see her, sent Target #2 all his emails & phone numbers and basically chased her like a hungry lion.
(EOPC note: Target #2 has admitted that she was registered with sites like AdultFriendFinder and JDate - despite being married at that time. She doesn't see anything wrong with because she said her "husband gave her permission." )
In one chat we read, Target #1 was hurt but STILL trying to be Yidwithlids 'friend' -- she told Target #2 to go ahead and be with him because obviously she couldn't help him & after 26 years and she just wanted him to be happy.
We are amazed that cyberpaths so CONSISTENTLY refuse accountability for what they have done and not only DENY but pin the lion's share of blame and responsibility on their Targets!! (remember Nathan Thomas asked HIS victim 'not to cause him trouble & annoy him')
Yidwithlid had been setting this up for some time - by turning around his seduction and manipulation of Target #1 by saying things to her like "if you want to" and "its up to you"... REMEMBER? and sorry but:
TRUE jealous stalkers and lovesick women don't tell rivals to 'go ahead and be with' the object of their affection!!
But there's more! as Yidwithlid turns this whole thing around on both Targets.... almost. (and then he will blame them, play the hurt party and cut off all contact because they know the truth - and Cyberpaths MUST destroy anyone who calls them out completely and fully. Usually by terrorizing them and destroying their credibility and character! Has this been done to you, readers?)
Target #1 - I was finally sure. Everything was a cruel, horrible, twisted LIE. From day ONE! Yidwithlid never had any intent but to toy with me and then paint me to be a pathetic old woman. Even telling Target #2 that I had lost my virginity to him? That was a lie. And he told it to make ME look FIXATED on him.
And this despite his PROTESTING whenever I called him on his 'manipulations." (Beware - anyone who SWEARS he is telling the truth to you? Or needs to say its TRUE - has SOMETHING TO HIDE!) But I still didn't realize he was a player... I thought I was just being tossed aside for something better... and I was ready to just take it.
Yidwithlid shot himself in the foot first. When this Online Predator found out his Targets had talked, like most online players Yidwithlid first spent several days trying to call both women and smooth it out.
Target #1 - Yidwithlid was spinning the facts, times, dates and other things like crazy. He IM'd Target #2 telling her to lay low for a couple weeks.
From Target #2 interviews: "He said to me he'd told his clergyman he'd "Fallen in love with another woman." And that once he could schmooze his wife, he'd be in touch and we'd pick up where we left off. "
This kept Target#2 reeled in because she wasn't sure WHO was telling the truth - Yidwithlid is slick, ain't he?
Target #1: Of course he said NOTHING about me because I never really existed as a real human being anyway. Even Target #2 said "where's the explanation for you?" (Psychological sadist.)
Target#2 said she couldn't get a straight answer out of him.
Once truly exposed Yidwithlid told Target #2 "If you love ME, you will LEAVE me alone." (WTH??)
Target #1: Target #2 said the whole reason she'd finally contacted me was to figure out the Word Salad and cryptic comments!!
Target #2: After repeatedly assuring me he didn't love his wife & hadn't for years now he said "please go away and let my wife heal." Go away? Heal?
I realized he meant stop telling my wife the truth!! so I can tell her more LIES! I was furious and I was going to rip this guy's life wide open for using me like I was a cheap hooker.
(Readers, while telling is one thing - harassment is another. And we do not condone HARASSMENT - EOPC)
Target #1: I felt really stupid, dirty and used. A therapist told me it was emotional rape and put me on sedation. That pretty much summed it up.
When Yidwithlid realized he'd been almost completely exposed, Yidwithlid IM'd Target #1 threatening to tell her ex husband they'd had a physical actual affair and assured Target #1 he was a 'good liar' Yidwithlid also threatened Target #1 with the removal of her kids. She was terrified and still in deep shock.
Yidwithlid stupidly ASSUMED the attacks were from HER! ASSUMED!
(This IM has been verified and is on file with law enforcement - Target #1 has an Order of Protection because of this IM)
Yidwithlid: Let me make this clear. You got me back its done !!! (got me back? is this high school? no this is adults here)
Next there is a call, email letter anthing to me my office or anyone in my family or anyone about me from you or ANYONE I will swear out an order of protection with the police.
And you better believe that the copy of it I send to [your ex-husband] will have some of the prose you sent to [my wife] ..Plus some added tidbits of my own. (Yidwithlid says 'prose' implying that he already painted Target #1 as a liar)
Fedex goes to [your neighborhood]
Target #1: I read that (Yidwithlid had emailed the same paragraph he just typed to her moments before IMing her)
Yidwithlid: nothing on the web either - I will assume its from yo (paranoia on the Cyberpaths' part is classic - there was NOTHING 'on the web' that Target #1 had put or was aware of)
Target #1: [my ex-husband] knows everything
Target #1: you cant hurt me anymore
Target #1: what on the web
Target #1: what are you talking about
Yidwithlid: I am a great embellisher (no s**t)
Target #1: huh? you are sick
Yidwithlid: [your ex-husband] might find that it was physical
Yidwithlid: its over (what's over Yidwithlid? YOUR GAMES???)
Target #1: he already thinks that, so what
Yidwithlid: Ill give him proof
Target #1: so what... you can't do anything to me Yidwithlid
Target #1: that hasn't already been done
Target #1: my therapist knows
Target #1: everyone knows (good - she told him that she hadn't keep his 'secret' - the online predator is exposed!!)
Target #1: I just hope as your friend you get help
Yidwithlid: I will see to it your children are taken away
Yidwithlid: I am on more durgs than I willever understand (he'd supposedly FINALLY gone to a shrink because the truth was coming out faster than he could obfuscate it - probably the psychiatrist medicated him for anxiety.... LOL. Ironic because Target #1, if you remember, was on medication because of him just 4 months into the relationship!)
Yidwithlid: my friend ? lol
Target #1: I pray they work
(Yidwithlid cuts the conversation off here and leaves - remember how Nathan Thomas just LEFT his Victim dangling? And Brad Dorsky accused his Victim of being a 'player' too, then LEFT? Suddenly - the Internet Predator has NO WORDS when BUSTED!)
Target #1 made a decision to turn all information over to his wife. She tells us it was only fair no matter how embarrassing it was to her (Target #1) personally.
(Target #1: "he needed help and I hoped she'd intervene to save him and their marriage. By then I was immaterial anyway.")
Target #2 said she was going to find out where his family was, that Yidwithlid told her about some of his clients and his boss and that anyone she could find was going to find out.
This of course, fueled his anger (he was lying to both everyone and needed a CLEAR FIELD to continue to lie) and Yidwithlid lied even more making Target#1 out to be a stalker and HIMSELF the victim - and continues to say it's a conspiracy to this day!
TO BE CONTINUED READERS..... this gets 'better'!
UPDATE: CLICK HERE