Here's Jeff Dunetz aka Yidwithlid (aka - his old nickname: "GRIDNEY") starting to circle the wagons by moving in on Target #1 with flattery for her already-damaged-by-abuse ego
(Cyberpaths do this and the target never even knows what hit them)
FROM April 2002
"Target #1": I am really surprised you even remember me
Yidwithlid: how could I forget
"Target #1": well, you could have looked me up years ago - or kept in touch
Yidwithlid: I thoght [mutual friend] made you think I was a jerk
"Target #1": thats funny
"Target #1": [mutual friend] told me you didn't even like me much because I wasn't Jewish
"Target #1": hmmmm interesting
Yidwithlid: ya, he was interested in you for himself
"Target #1": but u introduced us. I thought you were trying to get rid of me
"Target #1": I told you he beat me - after you left. He was mad that we'd... ya know
"Target #1": you avoided me like the plague
Yidwithlid: I am nt very forwrd about my emotions
Yidwithlid: in college was trying to be macho nd cool
"Target #1": seemed more like go away to me
Yidwithlid: no Im pulled back with my feelngs
Yidwithlid: I was stupd
Yidwithlid: can I tell you something
"Target #1": sure
Yidwithlid: you were the most talented person I ever workd with
"Target #1": really? Oh come on.
Yidwithlid: yes really
Yidwithlid: when we were in theatre - I could tell, you were relluy feeling it all
Yidwithlid: for me it was just going throgh the motiohns
Yidwithlid: i couldn't feel (REMEMBER he said this!)
Yidwithlid: you were exceptionjal
"Target #1": wow thnaks
Yidwithlid: you are welcome
Yidwithlid: you taught me a lot
"Target #1": yeah like RUN AWAY!! She's coming LOL
Yidwithlid: can I tell you something and you wont get freaked out?
"Target #1": depends
Yidwithlid: you were the first woman I was ever with
"Target #1": no way
"Target #1": you mean girl don't you
Yidwithlid: no I mena WOMAN
"Target #1": I don't believe it
Yidwithlid: its true
"Target #1": why didn't you tell me
Yidwithlid: macho thing, rememnber?
"Target #1": LOL now I feel sorry for you
Yidwithlid: no you were wonderful
"Target #1": come on - you are pulling my leg
Yidwithlid: I pulled more than your leg
"Target #1": I am blushing.... and sorry I still don't believe it
Yidwithlid: its true I swear (only liars would insist on their truthfulness!)
Yidwithlid: and you?
"Target #1": sorry no
"Target #1": I was very much in love with someone and had a boyfriend before I met you
"Target #1": does that make me easy?
"Target #1": but I know why you might have thought that
Yidwithlid: you were perfect
Yidwithlid: on my yellow comforter
Yidwithlid: I never forgot
"Target #1": (blushing)
"Target #1": wow now I feel kind of wierd
"Target #1": I deflowered you?
Yidwithlid: sorry if I freaked you out
"Target #1": but we never even dated!
Yidwithlid: yes we did
"Target #1": no we didn't
Yidwithlid: Yes we did
"Target #1": no but I don't want to argue
So Yidwithlid puts her on a pedestal and regresses the conversation back to when they were younger, while at the same time deflecting direct answers! (Smooth, huh?) Tells her she was his first (who knows if its true? only HE really knows) and gets her feeling good about herself and his memories about her.
But notice how he totally deflects her initial hesitations and questions about his behavior of ignoring and avoiding her when they were younger putting the guilt back on her?
"People who have experienced a certain kind of pleasure in the past will try to repeat or relive it. The deepest-rooted and most pleasurable memories are usually those from earliest childhood, and are often unconsciously associated with a parental figure. Bring your targets back to that point by placing yourself in the oedipal triangle and positioning them as the needy child. Unaware of the cause of their emotional response, they will fall in love with you. Alternatively, you too can regress, letting them play the role of the protecting, nursing parent. In either case you are offering the ultimate fantasy: the chance to have an intimate relationship with mommy or daddy, son or daughter." (The Art of Seduction - Greene)Now he has her thinking about their intimate relationship. And he has made her feel he still has some connection because she was his "first" (allegedly). And he knows her marriage is over - she's told him that.
Yidwithlid: we were talking th eother day
Yidwithlid: about my marriage
Yidwithlid: the physical
"Target #1": yes?
Yidwithlid: its disappointng
"Target #1": have you talked to her about it?
"Target #1": and?
Yidwithlid: she doesn't want to discuss it
"Target #1": lots of marriages are like that. I told u, more to marriage than sex
Yidwithlid: i know
Yidwithlid: its just
Yidwithlid: I am SOOOOOO frustrated
Yidwithlid: I can barely stand it
"Target #1": she's tired. the kids and all. (notice how she STICKS UP for his wife!)
"Target #1": ever take her out for romantic dinner just you two? or for a weekend?
Yidwithlid: no she woldn't go
Yidwithlid: told you
Yidwithlid: too practical
"Target #1": that's a good thing tho - for a wife & mother to be
Yidwithlid: I can't take it
"Target #1": you really need to talk to her about this
Yidwithlid: i have tried
"Target #1": dont tell me, you been to a hooker?
Yidwithlid: no (remember he said this one too!!)
"Target #1": thought about it?
Yidwithlid: I wold never do that (remember he said this one too!!)
Yidwithlid: [J's wife] woudl kill herself if she found out
Yidwithlid: and take the kids
Yidwithlid: my religion forbids
Yidwithlid: and ist illegal (remember he said all this above!)
"Target #1": well then maybe you need to get counseling or separate for a while (again tries to HELP him and stick up for the wife!)
Yidwithlid: we have a nice lifestyle (does he mean he's on the wife's GRAVY TRAIN here as long as he stays married to her??)
Yidwithlid: I won't lose my kids
"Target #1": you are putting too much emphasis on the sex
"Target #1": more than that in a marriage, especially for us gals
Yidwithlid: Nothing comes betwen me and my kids (he completely ignores the statement!)
"Target #1": I wasn't talking about divorce
Yidwithlid: maybe I was
"Target #1": uh oh
Yidwithlid: what about you (Yidwithlid changes the subject and deflects from himself again!)
"Target #1": I would leave I was financially able
"Target #1": but its hard with the kids and me being sick
"Target #1": but its over
"Target #1": been over for a long time
Yidwithlid: do you two have sex?
"Target #1": that's personal
Yidwithlid: hey I told u
"Target #1": no we don't - it would be hypocritical
"Target #1": I don't do sex without emotion
"Target #1": Im Pisces - I need that connection to be intimate
"Target #1": casual sex is not for me - never was
Yidwithlid: me either (liar)
Yidwithlid: im cancer - im all about emotions
Take note that he ignored or deflected her questions and got her to ignore what her gut was telling her. Overwhelmed her sense with flattery.
Do we all see where this is going? Where's he's leading her? And she probably had no clue. Thought they were just having a heart to heart. Has that happened to you readers?
In retrospect we see he's a Cyberpath - but this Target, like all targets - often have no idea with the online predators real, underlying agenda is - until its too late! And this target already KNEW her cyberpath and had no reason to doubt his honesty.
Making your targets feel dissatisfied and in need of your attention is essential, but if you are too obvious, they will see through you and grow defensive. There is no known defense, however, against insinuation-the art of planting ideas in people's minds by dropping elusive hints that take root days later, even appearing to them as their own idea. Insinuation is the supreme means of influencing people.Yidwithlid: [target]...you dont understand
Create a sublanguage-bold statements followed by retraction and apology, ambiguous comments, banal talk combined with alluring glances-that enters the target's unconscious to convey your real meaning. Make everything suggestive. (The Art of Seduction - Greene)
Yidwithlid: when we were tallking about ***** (cybersex)
Yidwithlid: I felt it
"Target #1": gosh - I just felt so funny about that - I have never done cybersex.
"Target #1": I make fun of people who do - its silly
Yidwithlid: did it feel good
"Target #1": I dont know if this is right
Yidwithlid: you were having a realease (notice how he MINIMIZES the cybersex and MAXIMIZES the emotional connection as he keeps saying he "feels the Target". Of course with a cyberpath the OPPOSITE is true.)
Yidwithlid: I gotta go for a minute
"Target #1" : ok
Yidwithlid: this isnt like me
"Target #1": ok
Yidwithlid: Just talking I am *******
"Target #1": Yidwithlid stop that! Thats disgusting!
Yidwithlid: I need to go take care of myself I cant take it
Yidwithlid: will be back
[a few minutes later]
Yidwithlid: sorry bout that
"Target #1": I am so so so sorry
"Target #1": this isn't right
"Target #1": I don't know what to say
Yidwithlid: actually it felt very good...dont worry bout it...Dont know what got into me..had to "relieve" myself
Yidwithlid: usallly not that "sensitive... must be you (again he makes the TARGET responsible for him being a woman-user, misogynist, masturbation & sex addict -- he was probably watching porno before she even got online here!)
Target 1: I don't like this - I don't do this sort of thing - ever!
Yidwithlid: me neither (at the end you will see this is nothing but a bold faced lie, Yidwithlid is just 'mirroring' her & her values)
Yidwithlid: you most think I am constantly running to ***
"Target #1": No
"Target #1": I wouldn't speak to you if you did (problem is, Target, he IS constantly running to **** and it has nothing to do with you)
"Target #1": this isn't right - this should not be happening
"Target #1": dont feel right about this - we're both married
"Target #1" I feel
"Target #1": wierd
"Target #1": does that make sense
Yidwithlid: it does (now he knows he's got her and Yidwithlid's going to just REEL her in to his sick game... though she has NO IDEA it's a game!)
Are we starting to see the tactics here? The cyberpath's agenda? Yidwithlid is very smooth about it too!
STAY TUNED!! Jeff Dunetz aka Yidwithlid is going to ZAP his "Target"! A classic Online Predator move!