Our Predator of the Month for
June 2007, In Review: GRIDNEY aka YIDWITHLID aka Sammy Benoit
(real name: JEFF DUNETZ)
We are re-running this expose because
1. there have been some updates which we will post later in the month and
2. it was, like our first Ed Hicks, very complete - including chat transcripts or emails - to show the classic patterns of mind control, seduction and abuse used by cyberpaths. (ORIGINALLY POSTED IN FEBRUARY 2005)
The reason we are not giving any identifying information about this person (such as real name or location) is due to legal and police investigations concerning activities this person was involved in as per the police department involved's request to EOPC. Also, at the request of Target #1 to be compassionate towards his wife & children. The reasons for doing this will be clearer once this story unfolds.
Chat transcripts were recieved from & with verification by law enforcement, from Target #2 and the permission of law enforcement (once law enforcement had them - they had control over the information) - at our request. Target #1, after much debate - allowed us to publish just a few of them, with her edits to protect the wife & children of this cyberpath. They cannot and have not been edited in any way other than to remove identifying information.
All photos of gridney/ Yidwithlid were received from Target #2 - who comes along later in this story. Target #2 provided us with her statement as well, independent of any of gridney/ Yidwithlid's other targets.
We obtained some IMs between yidwithlid and Target #1 via law enforcement. We will try to post the more pertinent of these chats rather than take up bandwith; and portions of IM conversations where appropriate.
Excerpts we got from interviewing both Targets will be used. (These were the first chats EOPC has ever gotten that were accompanied by verifications from computer forensics with law enforcement as being unedited and genuinely coming from the IPs of the persons chatting.)
"J"/ Yidwithlid's online nickname at the time of this incident was: GRIDNEY
In April 2002, "J"/ Yidwithlid sent an email to Target #1. He had 'come across' her name and email address on Classmates.com.'
They had attended college together about 30 years ago. "J"/ Yidwithlid transferred out to another university after 1 1/2 years at the college they both attended without telling Target #1 he was even leaving or where he was going. She never heard from him again nor did she make any attempt to ever contact him. "J"/ Yidwithlid and Target #1 had a brief intimate relationship but more importantly to Target #1, what she thought was a good friendship.
"I don't chase men. I never have. Yidwithlid gave me a little indication he was interested in a real relationship with me back then, but it was sporatic. In fact, just the opposite. When he left the school I had no idea where he went. He never even said goodbye. I could have easily found out where he was because I worked part time for the college legal department. But I would never do something like that that. I was heartbroken but I knew when I wasn't wanted.... even as a friend." - Target #1
And "J"/ Yidwithlid, 27 years later, at home on his computer, looking for prey - something to 'have a little fun' with, broke, depressed and unemployed... looked her up.
"...choose only those who will prove susceptible to your charms. The right victims are those for whom you can fill a void, who see in you something exotic. They are often isolated or at least somewhat unhappy (perhaps because of recent adverse circumstances), or can easily be made so - for the completely contented person is almost impossible to seduce.
The perfect victim has some natural quality that attracts you. The strong emotions this quality inspires will help make your seductive maneuvers seem more natural and dynamic. The perfect victim allows for the perfect chase." -
The Art of Seduction (Greene)
The reason we are doing this story? - because in this case - the predator and prey KNEW each other, for years. This wasn't anonymous, random or circumstantial. Target #1 wasn't some woman looking for love in a chat room. In this case, the adage of "stick to who & what you know" went totally awry.
"J"/ YidwithLid shared only a couple of his nicknames and IMs with Target #1. Within 3 days of the email, they were chatting and catching up. "J"/ Yidwithlid is married and has children. Lives well over an hour away from Target #1. Had lost a major executive job from downsizing. Was looking for work, bored (looking for prey - some distraction), no money to do his usual "online fun" and collecting unemployment.
Target #1 had been on permanent disability for 7 years by that time after working most of her life. Both Target #1 and "J"/ Yidwithlid had worked in similar areas and even the same buildings but had never, in all that time, run into each other. Target #1 also had children and was estranged from her husband of many years, being denied a divorce, controlled, entrapped and being seriously abused.
"J"/ Yidwithlid and Target #1 spent a lot of time just talking about life, what had happened in the years between, their families, friends, whatever-happened-to, and so on. (Typical cyberpath, profiling her and testing the waters to see where she stood and how far he could push things) Then about 2 weeks into the conversation, "J"/ Yidwithlid asked about her marriage.
"Typical of many abused women - I just wanted to be "nice." My marriage was over and had been for about 5 years. I didn't have the funds to take the kids and move out and no where to go.
I should have gone to a domestic violence center but like so many women in upscale marriages, I felt I would have been stigmatized. I talked to yidwithlid about my concerns freely; about the abusive I was experiencing but it just felt wrong to say 'I feel nothing for my husband and I am pushing a pro bono lawyer to divorce him when it's feasible.
I had NO Idea where yidwithlid was going to take this and I had no reason to mistrust him in the beginning. He seemed to genuinely want to talk to me a great deal."- Target #1
"At first there must be nothing of the seducer in your manner. The seduction should begin at an angle, indirectly, so that the target only gradually becomes aware of you. Haunt the periphery of your target's life-approach through a third party, or seem to cultivate a relatively neutral relationship, moving gradually from friend to lover. Arrange an occasional "chance" encounter, as if you and your target were destined to become acquainted-nothing is more seductive than a sense of destiny. Lull the target into feeling secure, then strike."
- The Art of Seduction (Greene)
"J"/ Yidwithlid in an ICQ chat (where it started - this relationship moved to other chat platforms as it went along) he asked Target #1 if he could ask her something personal, about women. Target #1 said sure, figuring - this was an old friend and another adult, no problems - no reason to question. "J"/ Yidwithlid then told her:
"J": it's about sex
Target #1: I am a big girl, shoot
"J": my wife, she's very..... cold
Target #1: what do you mean
"J": she's so
"J":can I ask you something
Target #1: sure
"J": during sex.... do you like ####
Target #1: sure
"J": do most women like it
Target #1: I dont know
Target #1: come on, your wife & I can't be the only women you have ever been with
Target #1: what about your other girfriends?
"J": my wife she won't allow me to ### (Yidwithlid evades her question!)
Target #1: is she sensitive? or was she ever abused in some way?
Target #1: you sure?
Target #1: you asked her?
"J": she also s never "in teh mood"
Target #1:she works and takes care of u & the kids
Target #1: women get very tired you know - thats a lot
Target #1: takes more than sex to make a marriage work
"J": I am not sure how I feel about her anymore
Target #1: have you talked to her about it
Target #1: why
"J": dunno (evades again)
"J": and she wont let me ### after sex
"J": one time I asked her to ### and she flipped out
Target #1: if this is too personal tell me
Target #1: was she this way before you got married
"J": she was great
Target #1: she is tired - kids and taking care of a home and working is a lot
"J": she has help (evades again)
"J": she had a very bad boyfriend before me
Target #1: then maybe she has issues and needs to talk
Target #1: why don't you take her out to lunch while you are home, romance her. you need to talk to her
"J": she would say no
"J": she says she loves me but
"J": I asked her if she wold #### so I wold knw what she likes
Target #1: and?
"J": she flipped out
Target #1: sorry but I don't think I would do that either
"J": what about u?
Target #1: what about me?
"J": you and H?
Target #1: we are not intimate anymore
Target #1: we just arent
"J": you still love him?
Target #1: no
"J": did you ver
Target #1: o yes
"J": what happend
Target #1: lng story
"J": tell me
Target #1: some other time
Target #1:have you thought about counseling for you & your wife
"J": I wold nevr do that
Target #1: man thing?
"J": no I wold nevr talk to someone
Target #1: but you are talking to me
"J": yes but
"J": we know each othr
Target #1: ok
Here's where the seduction and mind control techniques start:
- he puts her in the position of "HELPING" him
- asks about sex, and is very polite about it
- evades answering direct questions
- tells her he can talk/open up to her
- tells her HIS marriage isn't going well
- she offers advice (helper position)
- he puts himself in the 'pity me' or 'martyr' position to prey on her compassionate nature
- tell her he TRUSTS her (verbal 'implantation' to make her feel she should TRUST him TOO!!)
Check www.speedseduction.com and www.seducersworld.com for some of this predatory methodology also used by sales, advertising and personal growth gurus.
We asked Target #1 for her story because this is about establishing and ANCHORING a close, intimate and comfortable relationship in the Target so they won't even know what hit them. That's what makes reading many of these stories all the way through so important. It's used in sales all the time. (SEARCH THIS SITE FOR OUR ARTICLES ON NLP and MIND CONTROL)
-One who seems they could never betray you, seems trustworthy, and one who would never let you down, is one who is probably very likely to break your trust easily. In fact, the whole time, an online predator is continuously breaking your trust by assuring you how "trustworthy" or "truthful" he is, luring you into the fake comforts of the predator.
-An online predator cleverly plans things, many times with every little detail mapped and sorted out, making sure he successfully gets you to believing his stories, and him, damaging you as well, for his own benefits and satisfaction, though you don't realize it.(above from our published article: LURES OF THE ONLINE PREDATOR
This all started as very innocent chat between old friends. However, typical of the cyberpath, he moved his agenda along seamlessly. He used phrases and words about himself that were meant for Target #1 to feel that way (while he felt nothing at all!) Target #1 had NO IDEA what he was doing. "J"/ Yidwithlid was all the time information gathering for MIRRORING, PROFILING, TENDERIZING HER MIND and LURING her in.
STAY 'TUNED!' More posts as the month goes along.