Despite Ed Hicks' "inspired" farewell letter to *Carol* (see post on this site: ED HICKS: "Adieu Adieu" AWARD WINNING!!!) she continues to correspond with him in an attempt to gain closure (and possibly get an explanation for Hicks' behavior, treatment, etc.)
What is sad is that rarely do targets get the closure they need and deserve from these cyberpaths. Hicks, like most of his breed, continues to toy with *Carol* like a cat with dying mouse, via email. Many cyberpaths will cut off communication and run or think up "dramatic" problems (like an 'email' from their 'cousin' saying the cyberpath has died in a car accident or been called up for military duty.... etc).
Sometimes they just say "my partner found out" and block your email and IMs so you are left dangling with questions. Or say they will be back 'when things calm down' only to never appear again! Attempts to gain some further explanation or closure often cause them to charge the target with stalking and obsessive behavior. (click here to see a wonderful article: "THE SMEAR CAMPAIGN OF THE ABUSER") They will tell their partners that the TARGET started the relationship, planted or made up the 'relationship' and/or that they have changed, found religion and will cut all ties with the TARGET. (For some of the typical 'lines' these predators use click HERE)
In reality, the target is left with unanswered questions and often unpaid debts in this horrible pattern of Emotional Rape. The target is made to look like a fool while the Cyberpath either goes on to new targets or buys some time with their partner and with good behavior and in a few months or years -- goes right back on the prowl while learning to be more covert and cover their past misteps. - *Fighter*
________________________
From: *Carol*
Sent: Thursday, September 25, 2003 3:26 PM
To: Hicks, Charles E Mr USAPA
Subject: RE: How is your day going?
My love -
I've started this email several times. But tears keep getting in my way. My thoughts are I have been waiting for you to tell me it's over and I would be relieved. But that's not the case. I knew when you left Monterey things would never be the same between us. But I wanted to believe in my heart that you would love me enough to say hey forget about circumstances and let's try after a few years of being apart.
I'm crazy to believe that might still happen. I also want to feel sorry for myself or go do something stupid like sleep with someone I don't love. But that's not me. I hate empty love making. (Sorry to say *Carol* - Ed doesn't)
I haven't had the desire to be with anyone accept you. So much for freedom. Not sure where I'm going with this email. But It's best I leave work early today. I need sometime to myself.
You stay dry from the rain.
*Carol*
_________________________
From: Hicks, Charles E Mr USAPA
Sent: Friday, September 26, 2003 4:09 AM
To: *Carol*
Subject: RE: How is your day going?
Honey, I am sorry for the heavy heart I have caused you. Believe me I feel the same way. I just know after reviewing your last few emails that this was the only course of action I could take. Sometimes loving a person is putting them before yourself and understanding what is best for both of you. (And I want to look like a great guy while I dump you!)
I too do not know what to do or where we go from here. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy and I have not provided that for you when I thought I could. Distance has taken its toll on both of us.
I want you to move on. If we were meant to be we will be. I believe in destiny; you have a strong faith in God. Distance does not change things that are meant to be. (Ed where are you GETTING this claptrap?)
I sit here with tears in my eyes and a heart with a huge chunk missing. (and laughing my butt off - free sex and you paid all the rest of my bills when I was with you!) You were the best thing to happen to me as far back as I can remember. Take with you the fact that I will always love you. That means Always. (Or at least until I hit "Send")
To keep in touch when our hearts are much calmer is something I would like to do. You be the judge of how you handle communication between us. For now with feelings so apparently close to the surface I am not sure writing right now is the best thing. It only serves to refresh the hurt we both feel.
*Carol*, I love you very much. You take care of yourself. Find happiness and be happy. (And stop writing me because if you find out who & what I really am you are going to feel even worse)
Charles (Ed) Hicks
Army Electronic Library Branch
Standards and Technology Division
U.S. Army Publishing Directorate
Phone: 703-428-0565 [DSN: 221-0565]
________________________________
From: *Carol*
Sent: Monday, September 29, 2003 4:38 PM
To: Hicks, Charles E Mr USAPA
Subject: RE: How is your day going?
Importance: High
Ed
I have one thing to ask you. It's regarding my daughter. ### really admires you. She thought enough of you to buy you a ticket to Hawaii. She constantly ask about you and shows concern about your health.
Can you at least send her half of the money she spend on the ticket?
Please consider this.
I know you are a good person and will send something. I respect you as a man and Father. (Respect is the one thing Ed Hicks deserves NONE of ) I would not like her to know that we are not seeing each other yet. She will be disappointed. (Typical Target - doesn't want anyone to know how stupid they were!!)
Thanks I will be really grateful if you do
*Carol*
___________________________________
From: Hicks, Charles E Mr USAPA
Sent: Tuesday, October 07, 2003 5:58 AM
To: *Carol*
Subject: RE: How is your day going?
Just arrived back from travel. I could view your email but could not respond until now. Our Internet portal is all messed up. (Lies, Hicks was married to wife #7 and couldn't & wouldn't respond to *Carol*)
I would not forget ### in all of this. (I will take care of the money to ###. - NOTE: Ed never sent dime one for that ticket) Paying for two kids at once is a drain. (Wife #7, Sandra, was helping pay for Ed's kids) The kids tuition rates are up along with everything else associated with college and it is sucking me dry. They are talking about increasing rates by 25% next year. They are pricing us poor folks right out of school. Rest assured I would never tell ### anything about us. You handle that end of things. (Yeah, tell your daughter her mom's been conned)
I trust you find what you are looking for and need. (Ed sure did! Next!)
Love Always,
Charles (Ed) Hicks
Army Electronic Library Branch
Standards and Technology Division
U.S. Army Publishing Directorate
Phone: 703-428-0565 [DSN: 221-0565]
_____________________________
From: Hicks, Charles E Mr USAPA
Sent: Tuesday, October 14, 2003 8:33 AM
To: *Carol*
Subject: RE: How is your day going?
It is hard for me to sit back and not look upon you as my partner. I will try to be as objective as possible still given the fact that I love you very much. Giving you freedom to move your life in different directions as you require it was done out of love. Not what I wanted but when you love someone you do what is best for them and not yourself. (Typical 'backwards talk' of a psychopath - reverse this last sentence for the TRUTH)
So, on a personal note what is the problem or what is wrong? Remember, we were in love, lovers, and friends. You can tell me what poses the statement, “ not doing so well” and I will give you my opinion or maybe how to solve it. I already know it will not be what my heart wants to tell you but being a friend I am obligated to give you the best advice I can. (GAG!)
Hope your trip to LA went well and you had fun if that is what the trip was all about.
Thinking of you always, (and reverse this sentiment too!)
Charles (Ed) Hicks
Army Electronic Library Branch
Standards and Technology Division
U.S. Army Publishing Directorate
Phone: 703-428-0565 [DSN: 221-0565]
_______________________
From: *Carol*
Sent: Tuesday, October 14, 2003 9:38 AM
To: Hicks, Charles E Mr USAPA
Subject: RE: How is your day going?
Hi Ed
I have come back from being in LA all last week. You are still doing travel? Hope it isn't as much as before.
I'm not doing so well on a personal note. But thinks for saying you will take care of ### (should have gotten the money thing in WRITING!)
Thanks
Love
*Carol*
_____________________________
From: Hicks, Charles E Mr USAPA
Sent: Tuesday, October 14, 2003 11:15 AM
To: *Carol*
Subject: RE: How is your day going?
There is no understanding. I know what feelings are there. You did not make me stay nor did I make you. Yes, you are correct, we had freedom all the time but loving someone wouldn’t allow us to act on that freedom. That is a matter of choice. Sure missing is one thing but terminating a love affair that has been on going for over 5 years is another. I listened to your letters and they made me notice what you were really saying. So I made a decision based on what I thought was best for you and what was in your letters to me. (Tell her you are married and involved with a couple other women and haven't divorced a couple of your other wives either, Ed!)
I am immersed in this God forsaken place, which I hate. Things here move fast and most of the time without reason. This was just not the time to add a life to mine. (Besides I already am married to a few women and just married #7 a few months ago) Knowing I could not and would not ask you to wait any longer there was only one logical choice to make. If I lost you as a result than that would be on me. If for any reason we endured and could pick up the pieces later I would welcome that, naturally.
I do want you to try it though. I want you to be sure of what life has for you and also if you are missing anything out there. You are a smart girl and will make the correct decisions as far as men are concerned. One thing to remember, I would take you back if you could not make another relationship work. You will always be my friend, lover and the love of my life. (HA HA HA!! how many times a day do you say that Ed?) Nothing could or would ever change that. Let yourself relax, stop feeling like you have lost something. (Because you have not and never will) All I ask is that you be smart in how you deal with men. Take all the precautions you should so you remain healthy. I don’t want to hear any horror stories, which relate to you. I could not deal with you contracting any of the numerous diseases that are out here. We surely cannot tell what a person has by looking at them. (Okay, I will stop the lecture) (Tell her the names of the NUMEROUS partners you had before during & after her so she can tell her DOCTOR Ed!)
I think hearing from you is a lot better than not. So, if we keep in touch that would be the best for me. (I really get off thinking women still BELIEVE my B.S. and it helps me hone my lies) If you find remaining in touch is keeping you from exploring other avenues than by all means let me know and we can discontinue correspondence. (Oh how GALLANT Ed!) I want the very best for you My Love. Get out and look. Satisfy yourself in what is out there and if things turn out to be not what you expected, you know I will be here for you. (I can always use you....again)
Love Always,
Ed
__________________________
From: *Carol*
Sent: Tuesday, October 14, 2003 11:59 AM
To: Hicks, Charles E Mr USAPA
Subject: RE: How is your day going?
Ed
I feel like I have gone through a no fault divorce. My mind, heart and soul is for you and no one else. (like a spider with a fly, *Carol* is now emotionally paralyzed by this cyberpath)
Why would think I want freedom from you when I have had it all along? It's been mine the entire time. (you have also been ALONE all this time too, *Carol*)
However I choose to believe, admire and love you. My feelings have not changed. What is suppose to change my feels for you? Maybe if I can get an understanding. Then I can cope with the hurt and fear that I have of moving on.
Love
*Carol*
______________________
From: *Carol*
Sent: Tuesday, October 14, 2003 3:14 PM
To: Hicks, Charles E Mr USAPA
Subject: RE: How is your day going?
Ed
Thanks for making this difficult situation make sense to me. I needed to hear that you will still be there or somewhere in my life. I realize that you are trying hard to make the best of your life where you are living at this time. I also realize that isn't where you want to be. Yes, you are right. It would not be wise to bring someone into a place where you are not happy. I understand your feelings. (Ed's married to wife#7 *Carol*!!)
I would not want to be with you unless you where living in a place of happiness in your life. If you were not happy I wouldn't be either. My feels for you are so strong. They scare me. Trust me I have tried to go out and enjoy other men. But when it comes to being intermit my heart or body will go there and it hasn't since the last time we were together in December of last year.
When I met you I had not been intimate for almost three years. Here is where my faith thru prayer came into play. Although we are not married I still maintain my self because I LOVE YOU HONEY.... (Cyberpaths love this: Needy, Trusting, Compassionate! Run *Carol* Run)
So you will not have to wonder about me contracting diseases. There is no one here that has or will ever replace you. Until you tell me you have found someone else and are in a committed relationship. I will continue to wait for you out of respect and love. (*Carol* get tested NOW. Cyberpaths look at women like they are a blow up doll with a pulse)
I would find it hard to share anything about another man with you. I would not like to know anything about you in this area . It would add to the pain. I'm not ready for that at this point. Maybe one day. But it at this point I'm not ready at all.
You are still in my heart and I find it very hard to move a stranger in to replace you. I'm sorry.... (so are we *Carol*)
Love always
*Carol*
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