In Review: MORE ON COLD-HEARTED CYBERPATH: GARETH ROGER

Gareth Roger's victim sent us some chat transcripts and snippets about him which we are including here. If you meet this person online - run like heck. Our comments, as always, are in dark blue. - Fighter

Gareth's Website

Last Known Screen Name: QAZ3D

Location: United Kingdom


CHAT
Gareth: dunno whether its worth getting tickets to the big gay out

VICTIM: big gay out?

Gareth: http://www.biggayout.com
lots of gay people but baby shambles, bananarama, friankie goest o holly wood, human league,, electric six and loads more are playing (now why would he just DROP that into a chat with someone he 'loves' if not for the SHOCK VALUE? Sometimes cyberpaths drop hints about their true nature. Bisexual maybe?)

VICTIM: ahh do ya wanna go then? Just to see the bands play?

Gareth: dunno loads of half naked guys i wont be looking but you might (baiting her)

VICTIM: umm i wouldnt be looking at all!!!! besides they are gay!

Gareth: but youd end up staring at muscley half naked blokes

VICTIM:: Got my own sexy man thank you!

Gareth : Where?

VICTIM: hes talking to me on ichat right now duh... YOU! hehe

Gareth: exactly (dummy)

Gareth: theres alot of gay bands too i only want to see 4 or 5 of em.

VICTIM: wanna do that as "we" not "i"? lol you trying to tell me something babe?

Gareth: same thing (no it's not - his victim got it right. The use of "I" is telling and narcissistic)

VICTIM: Okies

Gareth: yes i mean we, but i meant "I hope I goto one of them oneday"

VICTIM: we can travel if you want, stay overnight id love to go see bands
yeah theres no reason you wont be able to go, just because I have the children.

Gareth: i know we'll see maybe next year (he's thinking about one person: GARETH!)




CHAT
VICTIM: You there?

Gareth: yea sorry window doesnt flash to tell me I have a new message. its a pain
eveythings ok, gunna finish off packing in a min nearly done (he was probably talking to someone else or watching porn)

VICTIM: sorry just didnt want you to think i was buggin ya, yeah this ichat is a pain in the ass, just checking you had a rest today cause its a hot day and stuff.

Gareth: so what are you upto? (changes the subject quickly!)

VICTIM: Not much just watching a vid, you?

Gareth: Packing still, you chatting to anyone else? (PROJECTION! and baiting!)

VICTIM: no , only you




CHAT
VICTIM: You dont seem like you wanna talk much today

Gareth: no... you always think i dont want to speak to you if im quiet, or if my phones off, Optimism, positivity (he means, believe my B.S. or else)

VICTIM: no not at all darling , i am being optimistic just sometimes you do sound a little offish i am being positive (he is being offish - he's a sociopathic predator)

VICTIM: i said last night i was feeling positive and i trust what you say im not worrying just merely wondering.

Gareth: Ok (putting her on the defensive!)




Gareth on the Victim chatting with her actual REAL LIFE friends:
Gareth: im looking for a new nickname

VICTIM: Why?

Gareth: get away from old ways (get away from all the people I have crapped on and abused)

VICTIM: yup

Gareth: stopped being found so easily (see above - looking to hide)

VICTIM: good idea

Gareth: best one i could think of is Andy

VICTIM: hehe its you and its your name

Gareth: heh type that in on google try find me

VICTIM: yup loads of results

Gareth: good idea but its taken alot

VICTIM: getting out of old ways is a good idea Andy

Gareth: yep it is .......goes for both of us

ME: yes it does

Gareth: i agree, so far i havent slipped back to all the chat groups im not going back to my old ways at all (sure you aren't - you're just looking for a new cover - they all do)

VICTIM: me either

Gareth: i know but you keep gong back to the old chat groups and people, you should dump it forget about it and leave it

VICTIM: im not going back to it Andy (yeah you would probably meet someone like HIM again - predators LIVE online)

Gareth: i know your not, but you do (putting her on the defensive AND trying to continue ISOLATING her from her friends! Typical abuser ploy)

VICTIM: i havent got any of those chat things on this computer

Gareth: i know but ypou see what i mean, move on from it for good not put it on hold

VICTIM: havent put it on hold its in the bin and thats where i want it to stay

Gareth: ok good

VICTIM: i am looking forward to you coming home and for us to have that perfectness here that was present last time you were here im focusing on that its a goal i want to reach

Gareth: :)

VICTIM: but I will keep on saying sorry until im actually forgiven (she's not the one who should be asking forgiveness but abusers LOVE to put their victims in this position!)

Gareth: you are forgiven .. i was just saying you keep going back there thats something that needs to change (no because you 2 haven't talked it out and you haven't been candid with her. You just don't "GET OVER" some things - unless you're pathological and no one means anything to you.)




Like all pathological personalities, Gareth believes he knows more than anyone.

gareth: im checking credit cards as the phone i want and the deal is a special offer and im hoping it wont end

VICTIM: itd be good if you could get it before it ends

Gareth: xxxxxxxxxxxx

Gareth: heh the funny thing was i knew more than the salesman i wass like wheres the menu then, he said there wasnt one, so i stuck my hand out and he handed it to me, went through everything found it was bottom left button heh handed it back

Gareth: hehe i sold the fone to myself (glory-hunting, aggrandizement - blatant narcissism)

Gareth: heh he also said i can walk around house while on call with bluetooth headset, the phone can be downstairs and i can be upstairs, i said not a chance bluetooth cant and isnt made to go through even a walll

VICTIM: hehe so he was trying to sell on basis of lying to someone he thought didnt know about that technology (probably just trying to do his job)

Gareth: yup

Gareth: i know theres no need to ask, but when i get this card i really dont want anything debited from it other than the phone (puts her on the defensive AGAIN)

VICTIM: your right but theres no need to ask as i dont need to use your card

Gareth: im not saying you ....no point spending on it apart from phone im saying us
in general (no you weren't - you were blame-shifting to her!)

VICTIM: so about that fone call? any chance i can have one later, sorry to push you but i like talking to you even if it is just for 5 mins

Gareth: we can have a nice long call after yes




VICTIM: i was going to ask something then thought not

Gareth: no go on

VICTIM: Hmm I don't want to be insensitive as your not feeling too good right now and I should find out on my own, I was going to ask what animation program they made XXXXX in?

Gareth: not sure

VICTIM: Everything ok?

Gareth: sorry I drifted off (because you're not important, so many other lives to screw up, people to prey on)

VICTIM: have I annoyed you? if so , sorry I shouldn't of said anything

Gareth: You haven't annoyed me, Im just thinking about tomorrow, our living together, dreading thinking whatever. (dreading having to commit to you for most than just sex)

More Gareth Putting His Victim on the Defensive & Projecting.
(He acts jealous to keep her on a string - hoping it makes him appear "caring & interested")

Gareth: you on any chat networks?, Im going to have a quick wash, go get a sandwich and drink and open more windows.

VICTIM: No im watching XXXX again im not on any chat networks dont want anything to do with them (how many times does she have to tell him that?)

Gareth: :)

Gareth: well done (yes, you have now isolated her from anyone who might show her you're a predator, a cold snake and a user)




30 mins later
VICTIM: thankyou so much for the phone call it was nice to hear your voice, If you need any support and help, i know its hard but I will help you anyway i can when you come through the door, ill make sure you get loads of hugs, and anything else you need.

Gareth: heya

Gareth: back

Gareth: I need to reboot, theres an update for a program on my computer I need to install.

NO mention whatsoever of what she said. Gareth totally ignored it. (a version of the 'silent treatment') So she made a video for him to see if she could maybe fix the situation as he'd made her feel she did something wrong (predators always make you think YOU did something wrong) -- this was maybe the 100th time she did this and he would normally treat me better after I had gone out of my way to make him happy. (if he "loved" her why would she have to jump through hoops to make him happy? Readers - ALL of our predators did this to their prey. ALL of them)

VICTIM: I have a video for you I made

VICTIM: thankyou

Gareth: grrr sexy thing (he's ASSUMING its a sex video - as that's all he really wants from her!)

VICTIM: your welcome

VICTIM: I have thought about something and want you to have something

Gareth: let me guess.... more asking me what train im going to get and what time. already told you I dont know yet. (why? If you love her you'd have made those plans by now...)

VICTIM: no

Gareth: sorry carry on

VICTIM: Its in the mail

Gareth: checking now

Gareth: aww thanks

Gareth: means a lot

VICTIM: when I said "patiently" i really meant that , train times are not an issue to me. you are! I hope that helps you in some way

Gareth: it does

Gareth: okies im lying down feel really tired and worn out you there? (heh - there she goes - calling him on his cold-heartedness and wanting some assurance and affection from him. Notice the HUGE emotional disconnect on Gareth's part. Sociopathic)

She heard nothing from him until the next afternoon, not sure when he was coming home, what train he was getting -- nothing. Everytime she asked him what time his train was he got angry at me. He probably did this on purpose knowing she'd get frustrated the more he held back. (Or he simply didn't care. at all. It's called WITHHOLDING and its yet another abuse tactic)



VICTIM: have i blown things with you

Gareth: i dunno

VICTIM: ok i understand

Gareth: things dont always sort themselves out (...with a sociopath)

VICTIM: no they dont, but im trying to sort things out my end, to stop giving you a hard time but the thought is ....are you still going to fight for us ? as iam hon (no he's not - his ACTIONS not his words will say everything)

Gareth: yep (words... only words)

VICTIM: ok :)

Gareth: brb my sisters looking at my film list (no surprise - he runs away from TRUE EMOTIONS AGAIN!!)



ARGUMENT
I was getting tired and confused over why he said one thing yet did the opposite. (because he's a sociopath) One minute he would be be consistent, the next minute he had changed his mind. (sociopath) So I tried to break it off and end the relationship; he had kept me waiting for over 6 weeks due to promise after promise being broken. He'd dumped me so many times already as it was, I didn't see anything wrong in asking him to stick to at least 1 promise. (no but with a sociopath/ narcissist they have HUGE problems with accountability AND reality. They never stick to anything unless there's something in it FOR THEM)

Gareth: You just broke up with me, and i know you are back to your old self (Again putting HER on the defensive when he should be held ACCOUNTABLE)

VICTIM:: No im not

Gareth: the one i couldnt love, i loved the real you, youve changed back (it's HER fault? These guys can only 'love' one thing - THEMSELVES!! They are INCAPABLE of love)

Gareth: should i tell my dad to give it two weeks before bringing all my stuff down, i dont think you are the same XXXX, how do i know you wont leave me when i get there, should we give it a two week tester? (he probably didn't want to come down anyway - now, typical predator - he's making it all her fault. PROJECTION)

VICTIM: how do I know that you won't leave me, you have done it so many times (he will)

Gareth: if you were your old self, the loving one, it'd be fine (the one who swallowed all my BS, believed all my lies & didn't hold me accountable that is)

VICTIM: i am the same, i just cant keep going on the same way, i cant keep hoping, and praying and dreaming things are going to be the same way when i know they aren't , you get my hopes up then they you dash them. (sound familiar, readers? She hasn't realized yet he's a predator. A snark. A shark. He kills and leaves. No empathy, no remorse)

Gareth: your not the same to me (because she's starting to question your BS?)

VICTIM: im the same as i was before (just smarter & more aware something's wrong)

Gareth: I dearly hope you are, I trust you and will take your word for it. (no he won't - because he doesn't care)

Gareth: ive emailed you some questions, could you answer them for me by tonight or tommorow morning

VICTIM: ill go look now

Gareth: i think id like you to answer them now, and then again in the morning

Gareth: tell me when you are next to the laptop and in bed

Gareth: darling?

Gareth: tell me when youre here darl, in fact if you get into bed and turn on skype ill whack off for you, and show you anything my a** to my **** to licking my own ***, if you get into bed, and turn skype on. (all about SEX!! she's asking for some REAL answers about their relationships and his way of "CONFIRMING" his feelings is cybersex? Predator. ICK)

VICTIM: Im here, im sorry i was so selfish

Gareth: no your not

VICTIM: yes I am

Gareth: if you loved me and saw a future youd wait till wednesday and help me through it (oh god he's NAUSEATING!)

VICTIM: im so sorry, im such a selfish person, i know it, i cant apologise enough,

Gareth: two days, couldnt wait two days that says something (putting her on the defensive after all HE had put her through by then!!)

VICTIM: its been 6 weeks!

Gareth: now ive seen you like this, so nasty again (unreal aren't they? When you see it from a distance. How dare he continue his projection.)

VICTIM: Im not nasty , I did wait

Gareth: yes you are. (Gareth just 'shut up' -- how much more cruel can you be?)

VICTIM: fine ill wait

Gareth: well you made it *applause* you left the guy that wants to spend his life with you regardless of everything else (oh spare us Gareth. As if that was the truth)

VICTIM: my dad said to me tonight "if you dont make a decision, youll be left always wondering"

Gareth: heh yes now you will always be wondering.. whether i would of came back and if we would of stayed together for life...now you will wonder as you left me before i could get to yo

Gareth: im not giving in to selfish demands such as: leave tommorow (he wants her to give in to only HIS selfish demands)

VICTIM: i know that now

Gareth: well i know what would of happened and im trying to comprehend my future without you and i hate it

VICTIM: ive been selfish! but i cant keep on doing this (you aren't selfish - you're getting smart to this emotional rapist)

Gareth: but you made the choice, and you are back to your old nasty selfish attitude

VICTIM: no im not

VICTIM: Im sitting here waiting for you as always

Gareth: no you broke up with me (boo hoo... Martyr Man)

VICTIM: can you blame me? im always waiting, i cant do it anymore. im so confused I dont know what to do anymore (typical feelings with a predator - and he will find a way to blame her.)

Gareth: no you left me nothing to be confused about anymore you can go back to chatting to people in chat rooms and while away the hours (AGAIN he brings this up!)

VICTIM: Im not chatting to anyone

Gareth: yet, wait two days or bugger off back to the internet, it shows whats more important and your attitude (Projection - he's probably already chatting up other people and has been right along)

VICTIM: im not chatting to guys!!!

Gareth: yet (sadist)

VICTIM: im waiting for you

Gareth: No your not you left me (how old is this guy? 7 years old?)

VICTIM: gods sake

Gareth: not all things are reversible

VICTIM: I left you because I cant take it anymore, the mixed signals. the getting angry at me for no reason, the not speaking to me and broken promises. (victims always think they can talk sense to these guys - before they realize they're PATHOLOGICAL & SICK!)

Gareth: Exactly so theres no more waiting (NO ACCOUNTABILITY FOR WHAT SHE JUST SAID!)

VICTIM: for goodness sakes

Gareth: you wont listen, your back to your old self (heh - listen to WHAT? his selfish b.s.?)

VICTIM: no, im not, you just think i am, im upset

Gareth: no I know you XXXXX you used to be much more mature and nice wanting to talk at night on skype (and believing my lies)

VICTIM: i am mature (more than him, that's for sure)

Gareth: chuck it all away for the sake of another 2 days wait

Gareth: very mature

VICTIM: im sick of going around in circles, im sure others can tell you im not back to my old ways

gareth: they may, but at least before you were different towards me, you understood

VICTIM: I dont want to argue you made your choice i made mine

Gareth: my choice was to spend my life with you, your choice was not to give me the chance to do that, before youd of said 2 days no problems, cant wait to cuddle and sleep with you and walk with you and bath with you , now you leave.

(She ended up apologising and asking him for another chance, and then he told her:)

Gareth: we will have to sort all this out when I get back, we are not over but a lot has to be sorted now

(Don't you want to just SMACK Gareth? His mind games are so cruel & pathetic)




COMING TO THE END OF THE RELATIONSHIP
I spent the next year in stress Gareth would spend all his time in our bedroom and when his parents or boss would call him, he would send me out of the room and talk in secret, all his emails to his family would be secret and I was never allowed to see what the conversations were about. My children were not allowed to make any noise when he was on the phone or he would ignore me for the rest of the day and just be aloof on purpose.

I started to get rashes all over my body, I couldnt understand what it was, but I was covered head to foot in it, it was sore and itched constantly for 4 months, I went to the Doctor and he said it was Hives / allergy from stress I put all this "stress" down to losing the baby. (it was GARETH - toxic GARETH)

His "Silent Treatment" would go on for hours on end,and when I would get frustrated after the 4th hour of this, or angry he would tell me I was the crazy one for yelling at him and trying to get a rise out of him.

He never ate dinner with me and the children; instead sat in the bedroom and ate his dinner when I brought the plate up to him, after dinner he would continue working or playing "rainbow Six" or "Postal" or "Working" (hmm... wasn't he accusing HER of being ONLINE all the time? He was online because it was a 2-dimensional world and "real" people are just objects to these cyberpaths. Besides - these predators feel: why invest any more in something you can't control)

Whenever we went out it was always when the children were at my mothers, he usually slept cuddling me, but started to sleep turning to the wall and didnt want me to cuddle up to him. He said "Its because i always sleep like this" which wasnt true so that was the first sign he was starting to lose interest in me. (no it was the one behavior you finally saw - Sorry but he was NEVER interested in you; just in what he could "get" out of you - sex, affection, a place to live, food, etc)

Sex wasnt a problem whenever he wanted it -- he was loving but as soon as it was over he would get back on his computer and ignore me. (because that's all he wanted)

If I said anything whatever it was didn't matter, he would tell me "That's not what you said" I spent weeks and months thinking I was losing my memory or going nuts. (Gaslighting)

I remember sitting on the bed crying once, in deep pain over the loss of our baby and he stood over me staring blankly, all i wanted him to do was cuddle me and tell me everything was going to be ok, but instead he said "Im going out as this upsets me and i cannot stand the crying and loud noise, ill come back when you have calmed down" (narcissist)

When his boss used to come over to meet with him for a meeting he would shoo me and the children out the house and tell me to make sure the house was pristine before his boss arrived, then we had to get out the house and not come back until he phoned me. (WHAT? What a sick piece of dung he is)

Gareth always criticised me over laundry, smoking (he would hide my lighters in the freezer for some reason and blow them up outside by making a fire and making me watch) To him, his home town was amazing and living with me couldn't compare to it. I grew to feel so ashamed of my house (which is rather lovely) all because he would moan about the location and didn't like any of his work collegues or family to set foot in it. (Blame shifting, degrading)

I was so emotionally numb because during all this time he had left a few times and come back again and I needed reassurance so I asked sometimes "are you going to leave me" this was usually when he was silent or in a mood about something. I was so insecure at this point. I felt nothing was going to be consistent, no one was going to stay with me. I had lost two children already I needed some reassurance and stability. (Gareth knew that, knew she was vulnerable and worked her like a puppet)

He would go silent on me whenever i asked him things that had to do with us as a couple or our relationship. He wouldnt talk and kept his eyes on the computer, I got so frustrated because he would never telll me how he felt and would always "Sigh" or exhale loudly (abuser tactic - to belittle her & her needs)

Whenever we had guests such as my parents or friends over, he would stay in his room and not come down, he wouldnt even greet anyone. My family said it was really rude, but I tried to explain to them that it was because Gareth was shy and didn't like social gatherings. (No he was RUDE and a SOCIOPATH)

Gareth told me about the Milgram Experiment once, was totally besotted with it. I found out by looking through his files on the computer that he had hundreds of books on psychology , & the art of seduction and hypnosis, I would always ask him if he used it on me he told me he would never manipulate me that way, he used it on other people. (BINGO!)

He never got angry (no he was angry ALL the time it appears). Never hit me or showed rage (just verbal & emotional abuse) He was just silent, where he wouldnt speak at all and this really angered me after a while as he just wouldnt speak. Like talking to a brick wall. He knew I used to get so very frustrated by this, sometimes id see a smirk running across his face when he knew I was pushed into a corner. (that's SEVERE abuse - the silent treatment, withhold - its BLATANT ABUSE)

One thing I always noticed was Gareth never made eye contact with me. When your asking someone a question or talking in general you will get eye contact or they will look at your face. Its a natural thing for humans to do, but with Gareth he never made eye contact with me , not ever (TYPICAL SOCIOPATH TRAIT!! BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE OBJECTS TO THEM) I used to think "Oh thats just the way he is" but now I realise it is very disturbing and unnatural. (AND PATHOLOGICAL) He would always pick a spot and stare at it when I was talking to him. (tuning you out)

Sometimes I would wake up around 3am and on opening my eyes, would see his face over mine, staring down at me. I have no idea how long he spent doing that, but I found it uncomfortable. (Sociopaths do that a lot)

We got a dog after a few months and whenever he got home from work he would bypass me and go right to the dog and kiss and cuddle it. I would always have dinner ready on time and the house clean but he'd take his dinner and the dog to the bedroom and stay there petting it and kissing it and ignoring me all evening. If I would venture upstairs to spend time with him he would sit there and baby talk the dog. if I wanted some affection it would have to be on his terms or when he was playing a video game / doing work and wanted to show me something. (ABUSE - he was taunting you with a DOG!)

When I needed money to get the children some clothes I asked him for the money but he said he needed $500 for his parachute jumping. (BAD PRIORITIES!) If it wasn't for my mother the children would of gone without clothes.
READERS - thank GOODNESS she's no longer with this "person" (if you could even call him HUMAN!) -- EOPC

Canadian Police Befriend Facebook, Twitter Users

Canadian police forces are getting tips on how to track sexual predators and gang members by setting up fake accounts on social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter.

"They make friends that way, they make connections that way. And they get inside that world, and go from there," said Lauri Stevens, a U.S. social media consultant who has been invited this week to teach police in Ottawa, Montreal and Toronto how to make better use of such sites to fight crime.

"They're seeing what people are saying about them," Stevens added. "And in some cases there are some very sophisticated investigations going on in the world of social media."

Canadian police forces have already been using such sites to some extent. This summer, for example, Toronto police used Twitter to monitor chatter from Tamil protesters who shut down the Gardiner Expressway.

Stevens said with the right software and knowledge of how to use those tools, police can mine Facebook for leads and photographs.

In addition, she said, police can use social media to connect with the community. For example, police in Toronto have used Twitter to promote themselves and Crime Stoppers in the gay community.

Ottawa police said they plan to begin using Facebook and Twitter to send and receive crime tips.

The way police use such sites has raised concerns from critics such as privacy lawyer David Elder.

"There's a real legal and ethical issue, I guess, here, about the appropriate balance between law enforcement and privacy rights. And I'm not sure exactly where that line is," he said. "It's still being set by the courts, and by the privacy commissioner."

There are currently more than 300 million Facebook users in the world, including more than 12 million in Canada.

original article here

IN REVIEW: Predator of The Month - April 2008 - Gareth Rodger

As always, EOPC's comments are in dark blue.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His victim tells her story:

Gareth and I met on the internet, through a friend. I had been through a particularly abusive childhood and I had at this time just started sorting through most of my issues with a therapist.

I didn't know at the time I was still damaged but I believed I'd met someone in Gareth who appeared to be the complete opposite of abusive. How wrong I was........

I had just a couple of years previous come out of a marriage with an abusive ex-husband. We had lost a child due to my womb rupturing in the last month of my pregnancy, and I really wanted to make some new friends and gain some confidence back in my life and start moving forward. (Typical - predator gets a woman who's been abused & trying to recover, sweeps in like a 'white knight' and love bombs her when she needs a sympathetic ear... sound familiar?)

Everything was a whirlwind romance to begin with, Gareth paid great attention to me, listened to what i had to say, showered me in compliments, told me I was his soulmate and never left my side. I felt this was what I truly needed after a few years bad luck, I was insecure, unsure, untrusting and looking for my "Mr Right." (We got it - he love bombed you.)
Gareth had books lining his shelves, on Psychology, NLP, Hypnosis, Art Of Seduction, literature and weapons. (red flag - psychopath?) He seemed so intelligent and mastered in the ways of the mind, I felt he could help me confront some of my issues from my past. (He could help himself to her emotionally, physically & spiritually through manipulation, NLP, mind-control & coercion)

He once sent me a picture of him holding a gun to a picture of my head, he said it was a joke. (WARNING!)

After a couple of weeks I started to get to know Gareth more. He still lived with his parents, but was a loner and spent most of his time in his bedroom on the computer. (WARNING!) He asked to meet me to which I agreed to and we had our first date.

The first night of his visit he told me he loved me. (HUGE RED FLAG! First Night?? Readers that rarely happens... believe us these creatures don't know what love is)

Once back home he started to take longer to reply to my emails, or ask me who I had been talking to. He would ask me if I loved only him, then went right back to being aloof once he got the answer. (narcissistic)

I used to ask him questions all the time to which I would only get a "Yep" reply or "Ok" , nothing more than that. However when HE wanted to talk he expected me to answer immediately. (manipulation & NLP)

After a few weeks his parents invited me down to their home. As soon as his parents left for work Gareth asked me to go up to their bedroom, he wanted to have sex on their bed, which I refused to because it was despicable and he had his own bed. (WARNING!) However he wouldnt take no for an answer and decided to leave his own stain on their bed, saying "Well they will see it but they won't know what it is." (PSYCHOPATHIC behavior!)
He also (not with me) went through his mother's lingerie drawers to find sex toys and porn dvds and he watched them when they were not in the house. (his MOTHER'S???)

His parents seemed very different, very reserved to how my family are with each other, they didn't show any signs of affection with each other and spoke in a very "matter of fact way." It was strange , and something almost robotic in their behaviour. (Sociopathic, unemotional parenting?)

Nonetheless I shook this feeling off as "everyone is different." I truly believed they liked me and I wanted to make a good impression, Gareth had not told them I had children from my previous relationship, once they found out however they changed towards me.They didn't want anything to do with me. This caused a lot of stress in his family which was blamed on me. (blame-shifting and guilting the victim? because of their own screwed up ethics and morals?)

His mother used to scream at him and get down on her knees, hysterically crying, grabbing his legs and begging him not to go see me. This was a daily occurrence. She threatened to leave Gareth's father if he took one step out the door to come down in the car to visit me. (Wonder if she'd done that with any other of Gareth's girlfriends? Sounds like Gareth's mom is pathological! And if Gareth had any sense he'd have gotten out a long time before!)

His mother did in fact pack a bag and leave and stayed a few nights at a hotel. Gareth had to go running back to his family to sort it all out. His mother spent the entire weekend screaming and throwing out things of mine I had left there in Gareth's care. (Pathological family... and the victim's just come out of an abusive marriage so she doesn't see this drama for the massive red flag it was!)

Every week his mother would throw a massive tantrum and stress Gareth out even more. I telephoned her once as she wanted to speak to me. She made me feel guilty and said to me "If you and my son stay together you will be tearing a family apart, do you want that?" I told her "You cannot manipulate your son" she said very flatly "I can and I will!" she then hung up on me. (Mom just said it all, didn't she? And in turn, her son will now manipulate this victim.)

Gareth was due to come and see me one weekend, so I called that very morning to see what time he was coming over and found out he had gone on a holiday trip 200 miles away with his grandparents.

I was so shocked and hurt. I spent the next few weeks completely stressed out and anxious. Because of the loss of my third child with my abusive ex- husband I was very concerned about this pregnancy and knew stress could aggravate my condition.

I was so worried about this baby and spent so much of the pregnancy in denial and stress which wasnt good for my children or me. I was concentrating so much on Gareth that I ignored my children most of the time because he would send such mixed signals, and do the Pull me - push me action daily. (passive-aggressive behaviors of a pathological!)

I went into early labour a few weeks later as my womb ruptured again and the baby was born. She was in an incubator for 5 weeks trying to get strong. I would spend all my nights and days by her bedside willing her to live and praying to God. I spent hours by her side. Andy phoned me at the hospital and instead of asking me how our baby was -- he wanted to know who I had spoken to on the computer. Gareth accused me of going off with another man. (Typical - trying to blame-shift & project as HE probably had another victim on HIS string by then) I was so confused at this point, so many things were going through my mind, like: "why is he asking all these stupid questions," "what about the baby," "how is my tummy healing after the c-section," ... and all he wanted to talk about was what I had done to him. How I hurt him by talking to a friend online which had been a week before i went into labour. (me me me me me me me me! And why would he care if he'd ended the relationship?)

I had to beg him to come over and see us. I apologised for 2 hours on the phone profusely. I was in a wheelchair outside apologising instead of being upstairs with our baby which I should of been doing. Gareth said "well, I'll think about it. Youve hurt me so much by talking to this man and I know you would of done something with him if i hadnt of phoned you. You would of gone home and been intimate with this man." (Again, putting his victim on the defensive when he didn't want a relationship or the baby. Mind-f**king manipulation)

After 2 hours of me begging him and apologising for something I hadn't even done (Cyberpaths/ pathologicals love putting their victims in the defensive position) and assuring him this "friend" meant nothing to me, Gareth said he would drive over the next morning.

When he went to see our baby he just stood there and stared at her. There was no emotion there whatsoever. I begged him to put his hand in and touch her hand, but he just wouldn't do it. He kept his distance and saw her only a few times and not for very long. (because everything and everyone is an OBJECT to him. He's more comfortable either having sex or online because he can OBJECTIFY everything & everyone)

The first night he was there, Gareth and I were given a room in the hospital to stay in near to where the baby was sleeping. I was so sore from the C-Section as I had a lot of extensive surgery done on my ruptured womb. Gareth knew I was in pain but insisted we be intimate. (all about him, all about using sex to get back in control of his victim... no matter how much pain she was in physically or emotionally)

I asked him if he would consider moving in together so we could raise our baby. Gareth said he would have to think about it. I was elated and excited and I really thought things would work out. (Magical thinking - Predator's got her mind so twisted she can't even see the manipulation for what it is)

Gareth went back to University and came over in the fifth week after I'd had the baby. I asked him again if he had thought about moving in, and he said I should stop asking him as "it was getitng on his nerves and stressing him out." Gareth said he was still thinking about it. (He had no intention of helping her or moving in. Just wanted to play games and get sex out of her.) He just made me more stressed out as I didn't know where the children or I stood. (Way off balance - just the way he wanted it!)

We were just going out the door of our room the next morning when we saw the nurse running towards us telling us to come quickly. The baby had died. I rushed to the baby unit and fell on the floor crying. Through my tears I looked up at Gareth's face, and it is something I'll never forget. He had no emotion, just a blank stare. (psychopath - the snake like, empty-soul stare, Reptilian Gaze)

An hour later that same day after I spent some time washing and dressing the baby so the coroner could come and collect her, Gareth came to me and said "I'll move in with you." (Wow! What timing. No baby so now he'll move in??)

At this time I was so upset but I had hope too, because we could be together and get through this terrible time together. (yeah right... he wasn't done sucking her dry emotionally or using her sexually!)

Two weeks before the funeral his mom and dad, who still didn't know their son was moving in with me, called him as they knew he was staying with me. They told him they were going on a family holiday to Hawaii. They said if he didn't go he would upset them and his brother.

Gareth told me he was going to go on the 3 week holiday , said he needed the time to get emotionally sorted as the death of the baby had broken him and he wanted to be with his parents so he could have some support. He said he didn't know if he would make it back in time for the funeral but he would try. (OMG! What a cold-blooded snake!)

Just to point out, I saw Gareth cry only ONCE over the baby. I think he was crying more over himself than for his daughter. (He was crying over himself - and even then it was crocodile tears)

I cried and begged him not to go as I knew he would miss the funeral and I so needed his support and love to get me through this, and I thought he would need my love and support too. (He was incapable of loving anything. He's barely human that he would even THINK of going with his parents. But since the victim's just an object to him and he was only using her for sex and an "emotional blood source" he had no problems just doing what HE wanted to do.)

In the end I had to put the funeral forward another few weeks so he could make it. (The victim changes a child's FUNERAL so the father could GO ON VACATION? Sick sick sick. And she's so messed up by his b.s. she can't even see what he's done isn't normal!)

He phoned me collect call from Hawaii, sent me photos, emails telling me what wonderful time he was having, how beautiful it was and how life was great. (MASSIVE RED FLAG - how hurtful and disgusting!) He didn't mention the baby at all nor did he sound upset. He told me he had thought about things so much on vacation and decided that he wanted to live with me 100%. (Why not, he's got the victim so messed up she's begging to have him around when he's treating her like complete crap) Gareth then told his parents who again went into a red rage and threatened to cut him off financially.

I had to pay over $1000 for the collect calls from Hawaii and my mother had to pay the phone bill for me as I couldn't afford it and would be cut off. (user!!)
When he got home from the vacation we spent a few nights talking, however he kept putting off the day he was to come back to my house and we could start our lives together. He made all sorts of excuses as to why he had to stay a few extra days.

MORE TO COME!! WHAT A SICKO!! Wonder how many other girlfriends he had online & off during all this? - EOPC

MySpace: A Place for Stalking

Media mogul and grumpy old man Rupert Murdoch has developed a "personal antipathy to the Internet," biographer Michael Wolff writes. Murdoch even thinks MySpace, which he himself paid $580 million for, is kind of a criminal piece of garbage:

In 2005, not long after News Corp. bought MySpace, when it still seemed like a brilliant purchase... I congratulated him on the acquisition. "Now," he said, "we're in the stalking business."

Later in his Vanity Fair column, Wolff recounts how Murdoch asked the founders of Google "Why don't you read newspapers?", gave "a walleyed stare" during all conversations about Web news and tried to beat Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg to death with his cane.

Kidding; even after buying MySpace, Murdoch was over the moon for Zuckerberg. He invited the founder to speak at a News Corp. executive retreat, huddled with him throughout dinner — sparking obvious jealousy in MySpace co-founder Chris DeWolfe — and soon declared people were "all going to Facebook at the moment" rather than MySpace. All this according to Julia Angwin's Stealing MySpace.

The point is, Rupert Murdoch has always kind of hated on MySpace, cruelly, in public.

original article here

October is National Cyber Security Awareness Month

October marks the sixth annual National Cybersecurity Awareness Month sponsored by the Department of Homeland Security. The theme for National Cybersecurity Awareness Month 2009 is “Our Shared Responsibility” to reinforce the message that all computer users, not just industry and government, have a responsibility to practice good “cyber hygiene” and to protect themselves and their families at home, at work and at school.

Americans can follow a few simple steps to keep themselves safe online. By doing so, you will not only keep your personal assets and information secure but you will also help to improve the overall security of cyberspace.

It is Our Shared Responsibility to stay safe online.

SOURCE

Dangerous Cyberstalker & Predator Finally Arrested

James Ecret was arrested Saturday night. He was on the ferry to Tahlequah (Vashon Island - Washington State) from Pt. Defiance docked.

Detectives Say He's Stalking His Ex On The Web, And That's Just The Start.

King County detectives stressed urgency in findingthis week's top fugitive, James Ecret.

He's a convicted felon accused of sticking a knife into his ex-girlfriend's door with a terrifying note that read, "I decide how the saga ends."

Ecret's ex says he's been harassing her for the past several weeks, and has also threatened officers that he won't go down without a fight.

Detectives say he's been convicted in the past of violating a no contact order, which is a felony, and his new threats have cops extremely concerned.

Sgt. John Urquhart with the King County Sheriff's Office paints a picture of just how serious the situation is.

"When you're sitting at a computer, typing away, threatening someone, or stalking them.. that's one thing," he said. "But, when you show up at somebody's house, leave a threatening note tacked to the door with a knife - that really gives us pause - somebody we want to find, and it certainly scares the heck out of this poor woman, who just wants to get away from this guy, and move on with her life."

Ecret has a $100,000 warrant for his arrest for cyberstalking, harassment, and vandalism.

Here are the details on James Ecret:

* Age: 49
* Ht: 5'10"
* Wt: 185 lbs
* Hair: Brown
* Eyes: Brown

Ecret has been convicted of harassment and cyberstalking before.

He has several protection orders against him by a number of different women.

Florida Woman Arrested for Cyberstalking + Harassment

by CRISTELA GUERRA

A Naples, Florida (U.S.) teacher has been arrested and charged with stalking her ex-husband’s wife Thursday as the woman dropped off her stepson at school.

The victim — who was described as shaken and very upset, according to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office report — said Haley Bright Marotto, 32, had been following her for about 15 minutes.

She said she was scared because she had received several physical threats of violence via cell phone and in person from the suspect.

The victim said she initially saw Marotto standing outside and then later saw her parked next to her own vehicle in the lot of Heights Elementary.

Later, the victim said the suspect followed her around while she drove for several minutes, even into the parking lot of a 7-Eleven convenience store.

The victim finally pulled into a sheriff’s sub-station for help, where Marotto was arrested and charged with harassing and cyberstalking.

original article here

"Annoying" someone via the Internet is now a Federal crime?

Annoying someone via the Internet is now a federal crime.

It's no joke. In 2006, President Bush signed into law a prohibition on posting annoying Web messages or sending annoying e-mail messages without disclosing your true identity.

In other words, it's OK to flame someone on a mailing list or in a blog as long as you do it under your real name. Thank Congress for small favors, I guess.

This ridiculous prohibition, which would likely imperil much of Usenet, is buried in the so-called Violence Against Women and Department of Justice Reauthorization Act. Criminal penalties include stiff fines and two years in prison.

"The use of the word 'annoy' is particularly problematic," says Marv Johnson, legislative counsel for the American Civil Liberties Union. "What's annoying to one person may not be annoying to someone else."

Buried deep in the new law is Sec. 113, an innocuously titled bit called "Preventing Cyberstalking." It rewrites existing telephone harassment law to prohibit anyone from using the Internet "without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy."

To grease the rails for this idea, Sen. Arlen Specter, a Pennsylvania Republican, and the section's other sponsors slipped it into an unrelated, must-pass bill to fund the Department of Justice. The plan: to make it politically infeasible for politicians to oppose the measure.

The tactic worked. The bill cleared the House of Representatives by voice vote, and the Senate unanimously approved it Dec. 16, 2005.

There's an interesting side note. An earlier version that the House approved in September had radically different wording. It was reasonable by comparison, and criminalized only using an "interactive computer service" to cause someone "substantial emotional harm."

That kind of prohibition might make sense. But why should merely annoying someone be illegal?

There are perfectly legitimate reasons to set up a Web site or write something incendiary without telling everyone exactly who you are.

Think about it: A woman fired by a manager who demanded sexual favors wants to blog about it without divulging her full name. An aspiring pundit hopes to set up the next Suck.com. A frustrated citizen wants to send e-mail describing corruption in local government without worrying about reprisals.

In each of those three cases, someone's probably going to be annoyed. That's enough to make the action a crime. (The Justice Department won't file charges in every case, of course, but trusting prosecutorial discretion is hardly reassuring.)

Clinton Fein, a San Francisco resident who runs the Annoy.com site, says a feature permitting visitors to send obnoxious and profane postcards through e-mail could be imperiled.

"Who decides what's annoying? That's the ultimate question," Fein said. He added: "If you send an annoying message via the United States Post Office, do you have to reveal your identity?"

Fein once sued to overturn part of the Communications Decency Act that outlawed transmitting indecent material "with intent to annoy." But the courts ruled the law applied only to obscene material, so Annoy.com didn't have to worry.

"I'm certainly not going to close the site down," Fein said on Friday. "I would fight it on First Amendment grounds."

He's right. Our esteemed politicians can't seem to grasp this simple point, but the First Amendment protects our right to write something that annoys someone else.

It even shields our right to do it anonymously. U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas defended this principle magnificently in a 1995 case involving an Ohio woman who was punished for distributing anonymous political pamphlets.

If President Bush truly believed in the principle of limited government (it is in his official bio), he'd have realized that the law he signed cannot be squared with the Constitution he'd sworn to uphold.

And then he'd repeat what President Clinton did a decade ago when he felt compelled to sign a massive telecommunications law. Clinton realized that the section of the law punishing abortion-related material on the Internet was unconstitutional, and he directed the Justice Department not to enforce it.

Bush had the chance to show his respect for what he calls Americans' personal freedoms. Now we'll see if the new president rises to the occasion.

It's illegal to annoy

A 2006 federal law states that when you annoy someone on the Internet, you must disclose your identity. Here's the relevant language.

"Whoever...utilizes any device or software that can be used to originate telecommunications or other types of communications that are transmitted, in whole or in part, by the Internet... without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten, or harass any person...who receives the communications... shall be fined under title 18 or imprisoned not more than two years, or both.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We felt this is going to be VERY hard if not impossible to enforce under Constitutional rights. And in the 2 years since it was signed - we were proved right.

Also the person who says they are being harassed - would have to legally disclose their relationship to the harasser during any discovery period and why the alleged harasser is doing it. (Most of our exposed cyberpaths? That's the LAST thing they want -- UNLESS they can twist history in their favor; which they can't - unless they are completely delusional)

Another good reason to always surf on a person's name or nickname before getting involved with them and saving ALL chats with them once it goes over the boundaries of simple conversation (i.e. 'love', cybersex or emotional affairs)

Cyberpaths would be out of luck! - Fighter

Technorati Tags: cyberharassment, online,free speech, abuse, federal crime, Justice Department, annoy, threaten

Ed Hicks hits the news once again

By Kristin Davis

Authorities in Florida have arrested convicted bigamist Charles Edward Hicks, a Chesapeake man whose marital affairs were the subject of a TV talk show and a cable-channel documentary.

The 65-year-old was being held without bond in Monroe County in the Florida Keys, according to online inmate records.

A Chesapeake judge sentenced Hicks to five years in prison with four years suspended after he pleaded guilty in 2006 to bigamy involving his fifth and sixth wives.

He did not report to his parole officer in July 2008 and had been on the run ever since, according to court records.

At least two 2006 "Dr. Phil" episodes featured women who learned they were married to Hicks at the same time. In 2007, the We channel aired a program on Hicks called "Very Bad Men: The Man Who Married Too Much."

original article here

EOPC POSTS ON ED HICKS - OUR FIRST CYBERPATH!

IF YOU WERE EVER INVOLVED WITH ED HICKS - YOU'RE INVITED TO JOIN THE SUPPORT GROUP OF HIS VICTIMS: Write To: CEHsupportgroup@gmail.com

Ed Hicks - Back in Custody! Still Swindling the Vulnerable

Our very first Cyberpath - Ed Hicks - has been caught living in KEY LARGO, FLORIDA for skipping out on his probation.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION. (Be sure to leave a comment at that site!)

Hicks, who trolls the dating sites looking for innocent & vulnerable women -- was finally caught in 2006 after being profiled on the Dr. Phil show as well as "Very Bad Men"and charged with Bigamy. He got the longest sentence for Bigamy ever handed down in Virginia. A Felony Conviction.

But Hicks made a mistake -- once released, he NEGLECTED to check in with his Parole Officer, as legally required - in July 2008.

A warrant for his arrest has been issued from the Chesapeake Circuit Court.

If you click this link and want to verify Hicks is actually a fugitive:

1. Select "Chesapeake Circuit"
2. Select "Begin"
3. Enter: "Hicks, Charles" in the Search by Name field
4. Then Click "Search by Name" button
5. The Criminal radio button should already default:

It will be the first case that pops up and lists the 'Status' as Fugitive! The Case Number: CR05A03857-00

Hicks compulsive use of online dating sites to find new prey led to another of his victims TURNING HIM IN!

Hicks trolls ALL the dating sites (just like Barber)
Known Aliases: Charles Hicks, Ed Hicks, Charles Greene, Charles Edward Hicks
(could be using a name we don't know at this time)

Don't allow him to prey on anymore trusting women!

Hicks has also been referred to as the "Dr. Phil Bigamist" (click here to see TV shows and a documentary about Hicks - Click on "The Man Who Married Too Much").

He sometimes uses the phrase he is "in love with love".
Additionally, he shows interests in kiteboarding, windsurfing, golf and sailing to his prey.
He usually lists his Race/ Ethnicity as 'Other'
He sometimes dyes his hair and lies about his age. He was actually born February 23, 1944.

Take a good look at all the pictures here and on Fight Bigamy of this remorseless predator who is now on the lam. These psychopathic men do not stop... he will continue destroying lives. Hopefully now he'll spend a few years in jail!

If you have been contacted by this man via an online dating site, you are urged to immediately contact the:
Chesapeake VA Sheriff's Department Fugitive Division
Phone: (757) 382-6159
E-Mail: fugitive@chesapeakesheriff.com

Their address:
ATTN: Fugitive Apprehension Unit
401 Albemarle Dr
Chesapeake, VA

Keep a Predator/ Fugitive in JAIL!

Click here for FIGHTBIGAMY's Information on Hicks.


IF YOU WERE EVER INVOLVED WITH ED HICKS - YOU'RE INVITED TO JOIN THE SUPPORT GROUP OF HIS VICTIMS: Write To: CEHsupportgroup@gmail.com

Dating Web Sites Bring Sugar Daddies, 'Babies' Together

Proponents Call It a Mutually Beneficial Arrangement, But Others Say It's Prostitution
By JOHN STOSSEL, CATHERINE BROSSEAU and ANDREW KIRELL

Sugar Daddy Courts Young Women Online - CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO

In this tough economy, at least one industry is booming: "sugar daddy" dating Web sites.

Some users say they are making tens of thousands of dollars per month, and the work's not difficult. Critics call it prostitution, but those involved simply call it a mutually beneficial arrangement.

Erin Miller, a 23-year-old, self-described model/actress, uses a dating Web site called SeekingArrangement.com. On her profile, she has advertised herself as looking for a "playful, open relationship with financial benefits."

"I'm dating four sugar daddies right now," she said.

She and thousands of other women have found their "sugar daddies" on SeekingArrangement.com, which, in many ways, resembles a traditional dating Web site.

Women can join for free. They post pictures and describe themselves to prospective dates. But there's an important difference: The women also write how much money they expect in return for dating the men. In Miller's case, she leaves the amount negotiable, but some "sugar babies" ask for as much as $30,000 a month.

Miller has only been on the Web site for a couple of months, yet she feels as though her life has already changed drastically.

"I've been shopping all over, nice cars. I got a new condo," she said. "Every day is a new adventure."

One of her sugar daddies lets her use his yacht. He also sends her a Rolls Royce and a chauffeur to take her shopping. Another date pays for her condo, and another gave her a Mercedes.

"Money helps tremendously with happiness, because I would not be happy dating a guy who lived at home in his parents' basement," she confessed.

How does a sugar baby like Miller get to know her dates?

"The dates usually start off with some coffee or a drink somewhere, and then you get to know each other, to see if you're feeling the vibe," she said. "And then go on a second date and start talking about your rent. And they'll ask you how much money you need and what's your budget."

In return, Miller said, "the guys get a hot chick -- arm candy that can make them look good and [that they can] have fun with."

Ady Gil, a 50-year-old entrepreneur, claims he's worth between $10 million and $50 million. He owns two large production companies in Los Angeles. He believes the arrangement site is a great way to meet women.

"You can make a deal with the girl. You don't have to worry about whether it's going to be 'yes' or 'no,'" he said. "You don't have to take them to dinner and hope that maybe something will happen. The cards are on the table."

Men pay $45 for membership on the Web site, but some, like Gil, pay an extra $1,000 to have the site verify his wealth and put his profile in a prominent spot.

Web Site Creator: 'I Wasn't Very Good at the Social Scene'

Gil is far from unattractive and could certainly find women without paying. So why does he do it?

"Because most of them are drop-dead gorgeous," he explained. "First, a lot of them are very intelligent and are not the regular girls. The Match.com women are boring.

"The other thing is you want to buy the age gap," he added.

So, unlike the standard dating sites, this Web site provides older men like Gil a chance to find younger women by advertising their wealth.

"If you go to most of these [dating] Web sites, the girls say, 'I'd like to find someone between 25 and 35.' Well, I don't fall into this category anymore," he said. "But when they come and meet me and they go out with me, they say, 'Wait a second, he's 50 years old but he's a whole lot more fun than the 35-year-old man.'"

The Web site works so well for Gil that he said he has to shut his profile down Monday through Friday because of the thousands of e-mail responses he receives.

Entrepreneur and MIT graduate Brandon Wade, a former Microsoft and GE executive, created Seeking Arrangement three years ago. It's an odd business for someone with such a buttoned-up background.

"The inspiration came partially because I was at MIT," he said. "I was very much a nerd and a geek. I wasn't very good at the social scene. I was on regular dating Web sites. I would write messages to beautiful women and I would not hear a response, and I understand why."

Over time, Wade figured out what could allow him to stand apart from the other men on those dating Web sites: His money.

"It would be silly to say, you know, money is not important in society," he said.

Sugar daddies get more than just sex: Many get makeovers, Wade explained. His wife, who he calls a "sugar baby," transformed him into the man he is today.

"I was wearing those Harry Potter glasses and women would not give me any time of day," he said. "But I met my wife, who is 13 years younger than me. She likes to pick stuff out for me. My transformation is one of the benefits that sugar daddies get from a relationship such as this."

Today, nearly 3 million women advertise on this and other sugar daddy dating Web sites. Some ask their sugar daddies for Prada and Gucci bags, fabulous vacations, and even breast implants. Others just ask for help with basics like money for tuition or rent.

Sugar Daddies, Babies Happy; Critics Say It's Still Prostitution

Natalie Caplis, a single mother from Montana, was struggling to make ends meet until she made an arrangement that changed her life.

"For me, getting on this site wasn't about getting a $500 pair of shoes or living this lavish lifestyle. It was really about just feeling secure with my basic needs," she explained. "I just, for one time, got to breathe. I got to spend time with my son without having to worry about am I going to have the rent paid?"

One sugar daddy helped her get into a better apartment. He also purchased a brand new car for Caplis and her son to use.

Why are the sugar daddies so willing to give?

"You know how many women need help?" asked Gil. "I'm not giving a handout. I'm getting something. I've seen women there that actually came out of a magazine. The girl who works for me, you can take her out of a magazine."

After meeting one woman through Seeking Arrangement, Gil decided to help her out and hire her as his receptionist. He hired another sugar baby to be his personal "entertainment coordinator" for a month.

As part of their arrangement, Gil told her, "For the next month, you're going to make sure that I have a good life. You make some dinner reservations. We'll go out, we'll roll in the sheets."

Web sites like Seeking Arrangement do offer perks for older, wealthier, and sometimes married men to get into no-strings-attached arrangements with women.

However, this has its share of risks.

Multimillionaire Stephen Dent, an heir to the DuPont fortune, advertised himself as a sugar daddy on SeekingArrangement.com. He got several dates and then was blackmailed to keep his arrangement a secret from his wife. Police stopped the blackmailer, but Dent continued to use the website until more blackmail attempts began. In total, four people have been charged with trying to extort dent out of more than $100,000. Three of them have been convicted.

"You expect that when you have a Web site where you have lots of beautiful women and lots of rich men gathering," said Wade. "At the end of the day, you know, dating is a risky thing on the Internet, so precautions need to be taken."

Former prosecutor Wendy Murphy said that although the sugar daddy Web sites are legal, if money is exchanged for sex, then that's a crime.

"I don't know how you can call it anything but prostitution," she said.

Self-described "sugar baby" Miller disagreed.

"If someone wants to help me out financially, it's nobody else's business," she said.

Sexual advertising is hardly a secret these days. One only has to take a look at Craigslist's "adult services" classifieds section to see that. Even in the Yellow Pages, there are 20 pages of "escort" and "massage" services.

If this is illegal, then why is it out in the open like this? And why don't we hear about more prosecutions?

"It's a crime that not a lot of people care about," Murphy said. "[It] doesn't mean we should give up and just let it happen."

She argued that if everyone were to start robbing banks tomorrow, we wouldn't give up trying to prosecute those crimes.

But robbing banks steals from others. This behavior is different.

CEO: 'Just Because a Guy Gives a Woman Money and Sleeps With Her Doesn't Necessarily Mean It Is Prostitution'

As far as the SeekingArrangement.com CEO is concerned, his site doesn't allow prostitutes.

"I draw a very clear line between what is prostitution and what isn't," Wade said.

So then, what is the difference?

"Just because a guy gives a woman money and sleeps with her doesn't necessarily mean it is prostitution," he said.

Gil agrees. He sees contradictions in what society deems to be prostitution.

"In 1955, my father made an arrangement with my mother," Gil said. "He put a ring on her finger and he said, 'I'm going to support you for the rest of your life.' So my father made an arrangement with my mother. If you make an arrangement for an hour, it's sleazy. But an arrangement for 50 years is OK. So, is it a time factor?"

But it's hard to deny that an arrangement for an hour is inherently sleazier than a marriage, right?

"An hour may seem sleazy," he said. "But when you take it a little bit farther into a day, a week, a month, then it appears to be a little better, I guess. You could call it prostitution or anything you want to, but I don't. Prostitution is just an ugly word for it."

"The concept that you trade your intimate sexual self for money is prostitution, if not slavery," Murphy said. "It's not a clear case the way slavery was, but it's darn close because of what's being sold: access to the intimate self."

However, Caplis, the single mother who said Seeking Arrangement improved her life, pointed out that sex is not always a part of the arrangement. One man she met through the Web site bought her a car, but they never had sex. They only talked on the phone and were never together in person.

"Never," she said. "And that is also the part that is hard for people to believe. That's why it's such a miracle. How could you possibly imagine that would happen?"

If not for sexual favors or physical companionship, why then would he give her all those gifts?

"I'm sure that he felt satisfied knowing that he was taking care of somebody that was true and honest and that really needed help," she said.

Her sugar daddy may have been satisfied, but that's clearly not what most men on the Web site are looking for.

"One of the things that make men happy is sex," Gil said. "I'll put it out there. It does. It makes men happy, you know?"

He likes to think that the women, once they get to know him, are not just in it for the money.

Miller seemed to suggest otherwise.

"I'm not a slut or a prostitute, like people might say," she said. "But if one of my sugar daddies ran out of money, I probably wouldn't talk to him anymore."

Two Arrested for Cyberstalking

(LOUISIANA) Two women were arrested on charges of cyberstalking Thursday for sending threatening messages through Myspace, deputies said.

Latasha Renee Charles, 21, 318 Railroad Ave., and Aalijah Monique Charles, 26, 1 Stonesthrow Drive, are accused of threatening bodily harm against a 25-year-old woman in the messages, Sheriff’s Maj. Malcolm Wolfe said. Deputies viewed several messages allegedly sent by the pair after the 25-year-old contacted authorities, he said.

The woman confirmed they sent the message after their arrest, Wolfe said.

Both have been released from the Terrebonne Parish jail, authorities said.

original article here

L.I. Postal Worker Sent Explicit Photos to “Girl”

by Timothy Bolger

A Garden City (Long Island, USA) postal employee was arrested as he arrived to work Wednesday for sending sexually explicit photos of himself to an undercover detective posing as a 14-year-old girl, Nassau prosecutors said.

Michael Tinghitella, 49, of Mineola, was charged with four counts of attempted endangering the welfare of a child and faces up to a year in jail, if convicted, according to Nassau County District Attorney Kathleen Rice. He pleaded not guilty at his arraignment Wednesday at First District Court in Hempstead and was released on $3,000 bail.

On four separate occasions Tinghitella sent the undercover detective in Massillon, Ohio, who was pretending to be a girl named Brittany, explicit photos and a video of himself, the district attorney said. Tinghitella sent the material from his home computer via an America Online screen name, Rice added.

“The goal of my online predator unit is to pull these predators out from behind their anonymous computer screens and put them in jail where they belong,” Rice said in a statement. “We want to make sure that these individuals find a police detective online before they find one of our children.”

A spokesperson for the United States Postal Service’s Office of Inspector General (USPSOIG), who worked on the case with the district attorney’s investigators and police in Ohio, said it is up to Tinghitella’s supervisors to determine what action will be taken regarding his employment. The case could have been handled federally, as well.

“This particular case was better served at the state level,” said Rafael Medina, spokesman for the New York field office of the USPSOIG.

Tinghitella’s attorney, William Sandback, said his client has a lot of seniority at the post office. “He’s been there 26 years,” he said.

Tinghitella is due back in court on Oct. 14.

original article here

Another Rape Tied to Social Network Meeting

State police are investigating the claims of a Hempfield Township (PA, USA) woman who says she was drugged and raped by two men after meeting one of them on the Internet.

State police in Greensburg have not charged the suspects and are not releasing their names, but are seeking more information about the incident Aug. 27 in the woman's home about 30 miles east of Pittsburgh.

The 51-year-old woman told police she e-mailed one of the men after meeting him on a Web site called "Tagged" and agreed to let him visit.

The man brought along a friend and they all drank beer and hard liquor.

The woman woke up sore, sick, disoriented with some of her clothes on backward and believes she was assaulted after a drug was put in her drink.

original article here