Saturday, October 10, 2009

IN REVIEW: Predator of The Month - April 2008 - Gareth Rodger

As always, EOPC's comments are in dark blue.

His victim tells her story:

Gareth and I met on the internet, through a friend. I had been through a particularly abusive childhood and I had at this time just started sorting through most of my issues with a therapist.

I didn't know at the time I was still damaged but I believed I'd met someone in Gareth who appeared to be the complete opposite of abusive. How wrong I was........

I had just a couple of years previous come out of a marriage with an abusive ex-husband. We had lost a child due to my womb rupturing in the last month of my pregnancy, and I really wanted to make some new friends and gain some confidence back in my life and start moving forward. (
Typical - predator gets a woman who's been abused & trying to recover, sweeps in like a 'white knight' and love bombs her when she needs a sympathetic ear... sound familiar?)

Everything was a whirlwind romance to begin with, Gareth paid great attention to me, listened to what i had to say, showered me in compliments, told me I was his soulmate and never left my side. I felt this was what I truly needed after a few years bad luck, I was insecure, unsure, untrusting and looking for my "Mr Right." (We got it - he love bombed you.)
Gareth had books lining his shelves, on Psychology, NLP, Hypnosis, Art Of Seduction, literature and weapons. (red flag - psychopath?) He seemed so intelligent and mastered in the ways of the mind, I felt he could help me confront some of my issues from my past. (He could help himself to her emotionally, physically & spiritually through manipulation, NLP, mind-control & coercion)

He once sent me a picture of him holding a gun to a picture of my head, he said it was a joke. (WARNING!)

After a couple of weeks I started to get to know Gareth more. He still lived with his parents, but was a loner and spent most of his time in his bedroom on the computer. (WARNING!) He asked to meet me to which I agreed to and we had our first date.

The first night of his visit he told me he loved me. (HUGE RED FLAG! First Night?? Readers that rarely happens... believe us these creatures don't know what love is)

Once back home he started to take longer to reply to my emails, or ask me who I had been talking to. He would ask me if I loved only him, then went right back to being aloof once he got the answer. (narcissistic)

I used to ask him questions all the time to which I would only get a "Yep" reply or "Ok" , nothing more than that. However when HE wanted to talk he expected me to answer immediately. (manipulation & NLP)

After a few weeks his parents invited me down to their home. As soon as his parents left for work Gareth asked me to go up to their bedroom, he wanted to have sex on their bed, which I refused to because it was despicable and he had his own bed. (WARNING!) However he wouldnt take no for an answer and decided to leave his own stain on their bed, saying "Well they will see it but they won't know what it is." (PSYCHOPATHIC behavior!)
He also (not with me) went through his mother's lingerie drawers to find sex toys and porn dvds and he watched them when they were not in the house. (his MOTHER'S???)

His parents seemed very different, very reserved to how my family are with each other, they didn't show any signs of affection with each other and spoke in a very "matter of fact way." It was strange , and something almost robotic in their behaviour. (Sociopathic, unemotional parenting?)

Nonetheless I shook this feeling off as "everyone is different." I truly believed they liked me and I wanted to make a good impression, Gareth had not told them I had children from my previous relationship, once they found out however they changed towards me.They didn't want anything to do with me. This caused a lot of stress in his family which was blamed on me. (blame-shifting and guilting the victim? because of their own screwed up ethics and morals?)

His mother used to scream at him and get down on her knees, hysterically crying, grabbing his legs and begging him not to go see me. This was a daily occurrence. She threatened to leave Gareth's father if he took one step out the door to come down in the car to visit me. (Wonder if she'd done that with any other of Gareth's girlfriends? Sounds like Gareth's mom is pathological! And if Gareth had any sense he'd have gotten out a long time before!)

His mother did in fact pack a bag and leave and stayed a few nights at a hotel. Gareth had to go running back to his family to sort it all out. His mother spent the entire weekend screaming and throwing out things of mine I had left there in Gareth's care. (Pathological family... and the victim's just come out of an abusive marriage so she doesn't see this drama for the massive red flag it was!)

Every week his mother would throw a massive tantrum and stress Gareth out even more. I telephoned her once as she wanted to speak to me. She made me feel guilty and said to me "If you and my son stay together you will be tearing a family apart, do you want that?" I told her "You cannot manipulate your son" she said very flatly "I can and I will!" she then hung up on me. (Mom just said it all, didn't she? And in turn, her son will now manipulate this victim.)

Gareth was due to come and see me one weekend, so I called that very morning to see what time he was coming over and found out he had gone on a holiday trip 200 miles away with his grandparents.

I was so shocked and hurt. I spent the next few weeks completely stressed out and anxious. Because of the loss of my third child with my abusive ex- husband I was very concerned about this pregnancy and knew stress could aggravate my condition.

I was so worried about this baby and spent so much of the pregnancy in denial and stress which wasnt good for my children or me. I was concentrating so much on Gareth that I ignored my children most of the time because he would send such mixed signals, and do the Pull me - push me action daily. (passive-aggressive behaviors of a pathological!)

I went into early labour a few weeks later as my womb ruptured again and the baby was born. She was in an incubator for 5 weeks trying to get strong. I would spend all my nights and days by her bedside willing her to live and praying to God. I spent hours by her side. Andy phoned me at the hospital and instead of asking me how our baby was -- he wanted to know who I had spoken to on the computer. Gareth accused me of going off with another man. (Typical - trying to blame-shift & project as HE probably had another victim on HIS string by then) I was so confused at this point, so many things were going through my mind, like: "why is he asking all these stupid questions," "what about the baby," "how is my tummy healing after the c-section," ... and all he wanted to talk about was what I had done to him. How I hurt him by talking to a friend online which had been a week before i went into labour. (me me me me me me me me! And why would he care if he'd ended the relationship?)

I had to beg him to come over and see us. I apologised for 2 hours on the phone profusely. I was in a wheelchair outside apologising instead of being upstairs with our baby which I should of been doing. Gareth said "well, I'll think about it. Youve hurt me so much by talking to this man and I know you would of done something with him if i hadnt of phoned you. You would of gone home and been intimate with this man." (Again, putting his victim on the defensive when he didn't want a relationship or the baby. Mind-f**king manipulation)

After 2 hours of me begging him and apologising for something I hadn't even done (Cyberpaths/ pathologicals love putting their victims in the defensive position) and assuring him this "friend" meant nothing to me, Gareth said he would drive over the next morning.

When he went to see our baby he just stood there and stared at her. There was no emotion there whatsoever. I begged him to put his hand in and touch her hand, but he just wouldn't do it. He kept his distance and saw her only a few times and not for very long. (because everything and everyone is an OBJECT to him. He's more comfortable either having sex or online because he can OBJECTIFY everything & everyone)

The first night he was there, Gareth and I were given a room in the hospital to stay in near to where the baby was sleeping. I was so sore from the C-Section as I had a lot of extensive surgery done on my ruptured womb. Gareth knew I was in pain but insisted we be intimate. (all about him, all about using sex to get back in control of his victim... no matter how much pain she was in physically or emotionally)

I asked him if he would consider moving in together so we could raise our baby. Gareth said he would have to think about it. I was elated and excited and I really thought things would work out. (Magical thinking - Predator's got her mind so twisted she can't even see the manipulation for what it is)

Gareth went back to University and came over in the fifth week after I'd had the baby. I asked him again if he had thought about moving in, and he said I should stop asking him as "it was getitng on his nerves and stressing him out." Gareth said he was still thinking about it. (He had no intention of helping her or moving in. Just wanted to play games and get sex out of her.) He just made me more stressed out as I didn't know where the children or I stood. (Way off balance - just the way he wanted it!)

We were just going out the door of our room the next morning when we saw the nurse running towards us telling us to come quickly. The baby had died. I rushed to the baby unit and fell on the floor crying. Through my tears I looked up at Gareth's face, and it is something I'll never forget. He had no emotion, just a blank stare. (psychopath - the snake like, empty-soul stare, Reptilian Gaze)

An hour later that same day after I spent some time washing and dressing the baby so the coroner could come and collect her, Gareth came to me and said "I'll move in with you." (Wow! What timing. No baby so now he'll move in??)

At this time I was so upset but I had hope too, because we could be together and get through this terrible time together. (yeah right... he wasn't done sucking her dry emotionally or using her sexually!)

Two weeks before the funeral his mom and dad, who still didn't know their son was moving in with me, called him as they knew he was staying with me. They told him they were going on a family holiday to Hawaii. They said if he didn't go he would upset them and his brother.

Gareth told me he was going to go on the 3 week holiday , said he needed the time to get emotionally sorted as the death of the baby had broken him and he wanted to be with his parents so he could have some support. He said he didn't know if he would make it back in time for the funeral but he would try. (OMG! What a cold-blooded snake!)

Just to point out, I saw Gareth cry only ONCE over the baby. I think he was crying more over himself than for his daughter. (He was crying over himself - and even then it was crocodile tears)

I cried and begged him not to go as I knew he would miss the funeral and I so needed his support and love to get me through this, and I thought he would need my love and support too. (He was incapable of loving anything. He's barely human that he would even THINK of going with his parents. But since the victim's just an object to him and he was only using her for sex and an "emotional blood source" he had no problems just doing what HE wanted to do.)

In the end I had to put the funeral forward another few weeks so he could make it. (The victim changes a child's FUNERAL so the father could GO ON VACATION? Sick sick sick. And she's so messed up by his b.s. she can't even see what he's done isn't normal!)

He phoned me collect call from Hawaii, sent me photos, emails telling me what wonderful time he was having, how beautiful it was and how life was great. (MASSIVE RED FLAG - how hurtful and disgusting!) He didn't mention the baby at all nor did he sound upset. He told me he had thought about things so much on vacation and decided that he wanted to live with me 100%. (Why not, he's got the victim so messed up she's begging to have him around when he's treating her like complete crap) Gareth then told his parents who again went into a red rage and threatened to cut him off financially.

I had to pay over $1000 for the collect calls from Hawaii and my mother had to pay the phone bill for me as I couldn't afford it and would be cut off. (user!!)
self centered
When he got home from the vacation we spent a few nights talking, however he kept putting off the day he was to come back to my house and we could start our lives together. He made all sorts of excuses as to why he had to stay a few extra days.

MORE TO COME!! WHAT A SICKO!! Wonder how many other girlfriends he had online & off during all this? - EOPC