EOPC = "Disgusting?" or Whose Victims are More Valid?

Recently, a thoughtful member of EOPC told us about Internet Love Scams: a website with a forum for victims of internet "love scams."

Sounds great! The more the merrier!! There are all sorts of love scams. Financial, sexual, emotional. Lets get the word out.... but wait!
When EOPC tried to post there and do some cross-linking? One of the moderators wrote us that they found EOPC "disgusting" and that we'd be banned if we posted our URL again.

Additionally, one of our members was told after she posted her story that it was 'slander' and she'd would be banned if she posted it again. The word "lawsuit" was thrown around by a couple moderators to this member/victim.

Excuse us, but EOPC has done a LOT of research and discussion with legal authorities. (Please check the left margin of this site for information on Slander & Defamation. )

This member was very aware of what slander was.

Our victims were manipulated and deceived. Cyberpaths are traitors of the worst kind - traitors of the heart, the mind and most of all OUR TRUST!

So... HUH!? EOPC's victims seem to fit their site's title: "Internet Love Scams." But nooooo, their site was for apparently only people scammed by Nigerian Scammers or 419 scammers. Just one sort of scam. The "scams" on EOPC didn't fit the parameters of their site. Fine. However, implying one of our members/victims was slanderous and also calling this site and our content "digusting" is a bit... JUDGMENTAL?

There are many advocates out there. We applaud them all - but your victims of "love scams" are not more or less valid than ours.

If getting out information and support for those who have been emotionally & mentally raped, cyberstalked, used and abused by a Cyberpath is "disgusting" then EOPC is GLAD to be disgusting. Our victims are NOT less valid because they didn't send money to some Nigerian or 419 scammer. Different, yes. Disgusting? We think not.

Too bad these people couldn't see the strength in working together.

Please avoid that site, members & readers.

Dan Jacoby Busted: Threats, Manipulation & Stealth Attacks

Oops!! Shades of Gridney/ Yidwithlid - whose lunchhour fun with high-price escorts was found on a various "sexual review" sites going back to 2000 (2 years PRIOR to his finding Target #1 and 4 years prior to Target #2. ) And btw - he never stopped seeing prostitutes DURING his predation on those women.

EOPC can easily bet ole Jacoby was on the sexforums prior to, during and since preying on this Victim and other women. Women online? Are FREE PORN to a cyberpath!! NOTHING MORE!

ALL cyberpaths try to erase their tracks and Jacoby is no different -- but as EOPC knows - NOTHING ever really disappears on the internet because we found it for both of them too! Jacoby is most probably still on sexforums and/or other casual, anonymous sex sites under a new nick - just like most of them.
Victim, like all our victims - makes a plea for truth and clarity. Like all our victims, she hasn't yet realized or fully taken in that she's dealing with a pathological man. Truth & clarity don't exist for these predators:

From: Victim
To: Dan Jacoby

Put us both out of our misery, Danny?
Talk to me? Make things right?

Now readers, buckle-up for some major PROJECTION and MIND-F**KING by Jacoby with his "response" now that Victim has started to expose him for her own peace of mind, to save others from being further harmed by Jacoby and to TRY to make him stop & get help! Watch - and see if this is starting to look familiar readers:

Hi Victim

Would it have been so hard to talk to me six months ago? Why would I think for one second that you won't take every word I write, twist it, and recklessly post it all over the Internet? (PROJECTION!)

Have you read the things you've posted about me and wondered the effect they would have on you if it were your photo, name, and address? Do you have any idea what all that nonsense has done? (Does Jacoby have a CLUE what's he's done to this innocent, caring person? Aside from bilking her out of a few THOUSAND dollars? How he's emotionally raped her and torn her soul in half? Oh NO!!! Like Beckstead, Hicks, Dorsky - they only see THEIR pain... and that their little party is BUSTED!)

I have things that would crush you if I showed them to you, let alone every stranger on the planet. I do this Internet thing for a living, Victim. I throw nothing away and save things people think are un-savable, but I don't use them to destroy people, especially people who are already on their knees in agony. (Bull - keep reading because Jacoby isn't as ethical & moral as he wants Victim to believe - he thinks NOTHING of trying to destroy people. Just like Gridney/Yidwithlid and Beckstead - he's going to start his own little smear campaign after he tries to lay enough GUILT on his victim to get her to stop her TRUTH TELLING!)

It can't be fun for you going through life consumed with so much hatred for someone. That I am sorry about. (Can't be fun to be so soul-less and predatory that you use vulnerable women, online for free cybersex and gifts while playing with their head to make yourself feel like a big man, can it Jacoby? The only thing you're 'sorry about' is being BUSTED. We all see right through that little speech. We've heard it before. Your victim did the right thing!)

Be well, Danny

From: Victim
Date: Jan 2008 at 11:29 AM
To: Dan Jacoby

OK, that's fine, but I've been "mulling over" this note again. After seeing the video of you out and about in your fancy car with your lady wife, (who you'd been with all along) why would I have even "wanted" to talk to you six months ago? And all the time you were telling me that you were "laid in bed in the fetal position, gasping for breath"????

There have been numerous instances where I've given you the opportunity for honest dialogue and you declined... So spare us both the embarrassment of your old trick of turning YOUR disgraceful behaviour back onto ME! (PROJECTION - all these predators do it. They don't want to have dialogue. Remember when Gridney/ Yidwithlid begged Target #1 to meet him for lunch the week after it all happened to "talk it out"? What do you all think the chances were he would have even SHOWN UP for that lunch?...

Remember when Charles "Ed" Hicks told his wives they had to "give him a chance to explain" when he'd stolen money, love, care and been with at least 3-4 other women while simultaneously married? Explain what? Why he's a bigamist and con man?)

What is "nonsense" to you; to me is deadly serious. You've damaged me so bad that I have to have counseling again. You know what I went through before with the grief counseling over my parent and yet you can put me back there???? Yet again, an unbelievable inability to empathise with my pain. (Right. No empathy = a clear sign of sociopathy. Beckstead tried to say his victim's head injury was what lead to her psychotic behavior in exposing him. Ed Hicks said his victims "made it all up just to get on T.V." Nathan Thomas calls any woman who tells the truth about him "scorned & jealous" and tells her the "CIA will be mad at him if he gives out any information" LOL! Is this getting repetitious readers?)

You dismiss it out of turn and hark back to that old familiar, "me, me, me!" trait, which I always found distinctly unpallatable. (all about them - PATHOLOGY - Clear as day.)

Whatever you "may" or "may not" have saved from the days we were together, I couldn't give a damn! It can only be emails of intimacy between us, where I was coerced "into" and "went along with" your filthy fantasies. I loved the bones of you. If you'd asked me to eat dog-**** I would have. One thing's for certain, for every "one" note you have, I have "one thousand". There's nothing else at all that you can say about me. I'm squeaky clean, Daniel.

AMEN!! And as we have said elsewhere on this site:

A relationship can not possibly be consentual when the victim does not know the truthful facts to make an appropriate decision.

* Lying
* Telling her she's the only one
* Playing mind games with her
* Moving in on her when she & her husband/partner are having a hard time
* Moving in when she's vulnerable
* Having a 'hidden agenda'

...does NOT make for consensual.
It DOES make for predatory exploitation.

Did I take anything from you on the pretence of being "broke"?
Did I treat you in the shabby manner you treated me?
Did I "use" you for my own sick gratification?
(Unfortunately, Jacoby is incapable of TRULY answering that because these pathological predators BELIEVE THEIR OWN LIES)
I'll be more than happy to post the link to the website you designed for me on my 360, all you have to do is say so. ;-)

So, I guess by saying you "do this Internet thing for a living", you mean that you extort whatever you can from vulnerable women like myself to supplement your other income, on a regular basis? All I've done "wrong" is cut off your narcissistic supply and for that I gladly take full and absolute responsibility. (You go, girl!)

I don't "hate" anybody, not even you, even after everything you did to me. What YOU hate is the fact that your soft, gentle, gullible little Victim didn't fade away into the background to deal with the trauma of what you put her through in silence, and didn't turn out to be the "soft touch" you perceived her to be. I outwore my usefullness, plain and simple. (AGAIN, Victim is right on here - and that can be said for every single one of our victims; as they have said virtually the EXACT SAME THING about their feelings about their cyberpath)

I'm stronger than any other woman you've been involved with, Dan... I ain't no pushover! I may have been unaware of the truth about you, but I sure as HELL know your "character" inside out. I'd even go as far as to say more than even "Missus Jacoby" does. And I learned that the hard way, to my cost. (again -- this can be said about single one of our victims; as they have said virtually the EXACT SAME THING about their feelings about their cyberpath. These predators see their victims as such OBJECTS they rage when the victim rises up and reclaims their dignity and personhood by TELLING THE TRUTH)

It's just that the deep love and affection I felt for you blinded me as to the "real" Dan Jacoby and I'll regret that for the rest of my life.

Goodbye, Danny

Wait!! Jacoby HAS to have the last word:

From: Dan Jacoby
Date: Jan 2008 at 4:16 PM
To: Victim

Please remove all the things you have posted about me across the web. Your accusations of me being a "sexual predator" and "extortionist, along with my photographs, name, and location.
(why? The truth is a 100% defense here, Jacoby. If you are so blameless - don't you have refuting evidence? Why threaten? Isn't your good & ethical character able to stand on its own? CLICK HERE)

I've got everything, Victim. Webcam videos of you from head to toe. Audio recordings of your child threatening to kill me. (Ah yes -- here come the bullying & threats. Did he keep those to use as threats later? Didn't you think Victim's child would be furious with what you did to their MOTHER? Oh! wait... that's right - none of your online babes are REAL PEOPLE to you so they aren't ENTITLED TO BE HURT! Pathological, very very.)

Emails? I've got plenty of emails. They are not flattering. Big deal. Do you see me spreading this private stuff all over the Internet? (you will Jacoby!! in a heartbeat!! isn't that what you're threatening in the paragraph above? You're contradicting yourself!) I've sat here for six months without firing back at you, believing you would eventually realize you were dead wrong regarding the reckless, destructive, cruel, evil, criminal things you accuse me of - all for your personal satisfaction. (If her emails were written because of the REAL LOVE she had in her heart for you Jacoby. - then go ahead. And didn't you use & abuse her good nature, love and compassion for YOUR PERSONAL SATISFACTION. You're not the altruist your "words" try to paint you as. Trust us - NONE of our victims get pleasure out the expose. EOPC doesn't do revenge. We make sure its for 2 reasons: 1. public warnings & education; 2. to attempt (though we know how hopeless it is) to get predators like you to STOP! and get HELP!
-- note how childish Jacoby's 'tit for tat' attitude is)

Can you imagine me ever saying something like "Hey you, I will take screen shots I have of you and will make a puzzle out of them and I will reveal one piece of the puzzle every day on my website as long as the stuff you write about me all over the web remains out there. Then I will post the video clips one by one. Then I will post the rest of the stuff, including audio clips that clearly display your intent to do harm.". (We sure can. One of our other predators did something similar. The very FACT that you threaten with that stuff Jacoby - is sick in itself. How do we know, since you work in the computer industry, you didn't doctor it all? How many women do you have saved stuff on that you have threatened them with? You think that's o.k.?)

That would be almost as mean and vindictive as what you've been doing. Don't tell me it wouldn't affect you, your friends, or your family. (Oh, Jacoby, spare us - mean and vindictive is EMOTIONALLY RAPING SOMEONE FOR YEARS. What Victim is was an intervention and the absolute right thing!)

I've shrunk the enclosed image down to a thumbnail to be much less offensive. Please tell me I can throw all this stuff out someday soon. Is this how you really want it to play out? You are an extremely mean person, Victim... I've never known anyone who can use the words "Jesus" and "F***" in the same sentence and think its OK. (Boo hoo - poor Jacoby. - he's been busted and he's still throwing Victim's faith in her face too.)

There must be something more rewarding out there for you than this. Do not ever contact me again. Thanks. (Don't worry she won't. And we'll make sure that everyone knows about you ... Jacoby)

NOTE: Jacoby? Mr. "I-Would-Never; I-Am-Above-All-That"? After being busted? opened up a revenge site with filthy, photoshopped pictures of Victim on it. You had to get a password from Jacoby to see it. Control, control, control.

When Victim let him know what he was doing was illegal? He erased it - changed the site to look like it was something else and WENT TO THE FBI AND POLICE AND SAID VICTIM WAS HARASSING HIM!!

Hey Jacoby? We saw it... we know what was REALLY there and one of your forum sychophants has admitted she saw it too!! And using & misleading law enforcement to further harrass someone isn't nice. They have already heard from us what you did & how you manipulated them...

Poor Cyberpaths... soon they have to kiss their credibility buh-bye!


WARNING (2009) - Jacoby has found his way BACK on to the recovery forums (such as benzobuddies, etc) using a new IP number and false identities (ex: "Nurse Tanya" and "Elwood"). Despite the forum managers saying they have banned him forever - they have not been able to stop this remorseless predator! One forum manager refuses to listen and remove his multiple identities. Beware!

Internet Addiction and Internet Sex

A summary of this article was published in "The Source", July, 2001

Over 130,000,000 Americans are on-line. About 46,000 more people are getting on-line each day. Americans are going on-line looking for information, entertainment and relationships. Use of the Internet (also called the Net) has grown faster than any technology in history including the telephone, television, computers, video games and CD players. The Net provides everyday users with primarily the Web, e-mail, instant messaging, live chat and the ability to purchase goods and services on-line.

"You've Got Mail..." I Don't Care.

"Do you want to know more?" Nope!

"Do you want to see a picture of a naked man?" Of course not!!

"Do you want to see a picture of young boy having sex with an older woman?" Not on your life!!!

"Would you like to talk to a beautiful lonely woman on-line and see what she looks like?" Never!!!!

"Have you more intimate with someone online that you have not been intimate with in person?" How is that possible?

People are naturally skeptical when they hear someone say there are problems when using the Internet. Here are several important research facts.

Women are now on-line more than men.
50% of the people on-line lie about their age, weight, job, marital status and gender.
20% of the people going on-line will experience clear negative impacts to their life.
Use of the Internet is a contributing factor in nearly 50% of all family, relationship and family problems.
11% of the people going on-line are becoming compulsive or addicted.

How could anything that feels so safe and innocent looking be unhealthy for so many people? Feeling good and not realizing the problem is precisely the problem. People can go anywhere, see almost anything, find out virtually anything, do anything and be anybody they want. They act out in ways that are exciting and they can do without leaving their chair or being with a real person. Accountability, supervision and social consequences are missing in a virtual society.

Problems
The potential problems for new Internet use are significant and may be growing. Nearly 20% of the people going on-line will encounter one or more of the following problems.

Personal neglect
Compulsive checking and "clicking"
Isolation and avoidance from people
Lost productivity
Depression
Marital problems
Sexual addiction
Gambling away savings.
Internet abuse in the workplace
Academic failure.

Are You Compulsive or Addicted To The Net?
Using the Net is not a problem for Internet users who are on-line less than two hours a week. Heavy users are at risk when they are plugged more than 18 hours a week. There is no official diagnosis for an addiction to the Internet. The proposed disorder is called Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD). There is rather exact criteria proposed but it essentially easy to spot a problem. A compulsive and potentially addicted user is on-line more than 10 hours a day in non-work related activity. Answering the question "Am I addicted?" is based on four questions.

Do you feel better when you are on-line, chatting, or exploring the Net?

Are you or have you been spending more and more time on-line?

Are you on-line when you should being doing something else?

Have you tried to cut back and don't?

You probably have a compulsion if you feel a strong need to get on-line when you should be doing other things in your life. For instance, "Are you forgetting to eat?" Or, "Are you getting up at 3 a.m. in the morning to go to the bathroom and checking your e-mail before you go back to bed?" Checking e-mail at night when no one else is up and for no reason is a compulsion. You may even have early signs of addiction if you feel a need to be on the Internet more and more and feel worse when you stop.

Cyber Society
People go on-line and they are making friends. For many people the Internet is like a private night club or the place where you can find the friends you've always wanted. You don't have to go out and find real people and have an honest relationship. You can stay in your own chair and explore endless activities. You can walk away and come right back. There is always something happening. People will even miss you and ask you to come back. If you embarrass yourself, or people get mad, then you can just change your name, age and marital status and just start over.

It doesn't take much in the way of bravery to go into the Net. Once you're in, a user can go anywhere and see almost anything without social consequences or anyone knowing. As result, the Internet is a fostering uninhibited social and sexual behavior. There are clear impacts on relationships when people become uninhibited, dishonest or secretive in life or on the Net. There is much less honesty, integrity and accountability on the Net than there is at work, in school or in a neighborhood.

The Internet is now a contributing factor to nearly one half of all marital or family problems. In some cases, relationships are breaking down when a men or woman develops a relationship in cyber society. High levels of Internet use can produce social isolation, loss of real intimacy and depression.

Men, women and families are going into counseling for relationship problems that are partly or entirely caused compulsive internet use or virtual addictions. Women are filling for divorce claiming that their husbands are having sex on-line or looking at "pornography" for hours every day. Kids stay up all night. Parents stop relating and spend less time raising their children.

The Internet is not only cutting into social and family time but it is also cutting into work. For some employees the Internet is just part of the job. But up to 70% of employees who have high speed Internet access at work can spend up 1 hour a day involved in non-work related activities. At least 6% of people at work use the Internet more than 6 hours per week for non-work related activities.

Cyber Brain Washing
Knowing what can happen to you, your friends or even your children won't necessarily help. Heavy users will tell you that the Net will change you. If you spend enough time on-line, the rest of the world starts to look unreal or strange. You may not even notice the change. There is no sure way to know if you will get hooked or how long it can take. Here's how it happens.

Prolonged chats on-line and mouse clicking on the Internet will produce what psychologist call a dissociative state. Net users separate from reality and enter cyber reality. Anyone with children has seen how children can watch television for countless hours. Children and even adults watching television long enough will enter a "hypnotic trance." They meld into the television and disconnect from reality. Limited use is a form or healthy recreation or escape. Prolonged and repeated use can create problems.

People can disappear into a good book or a movie, but there is always an end to a book or a movie. The Internet is especially addictive because the Net is endless, interactive, social and exploding with never ending images and information. The Net offers exciting relationships 24 hours a day all over the world. Before the Internet children and couples stopped working and talking with their friends after dark. Spending the evening together reading, playing games and watching television together was the norm. But not anymore.

How do people get caught up in the Net?
For one thing, human beings are curious. We like to see more and do more. Many of us like to travel. When we can't travel, we like to read books and go to movies. We like to feel competent and in control. Human beings like to feel better and they don't like to feel bad. We like to do things that feel good and avoid things that feel worse. We especially like doing pleasurable things more and more. Being on the Internet is not necessarily about having a good time. Being on-line might make you feel better but it might just change how you feel. It can be an escape from reality that isn't necessarily better for you. For some people, a painful or disgusting fantasy is preferable to a less painful or disgusting reality.

Have you ever noticed that some people watch television even when there is nothing good to watch. And instead of turning the TV off, they resort to channel switching. The act of switching channels repeatedly is an annoying process that makes the rest of us want to leave the room or take the remote control away from somebody. The Net is a lot like television only the Net is timeless, interactive, challenging and endless.

Psychologists explain the seductive and addictive nature of the Net primarily in terms of a behavior modification process called a variable reinforcement schedule. That means you don't know how much of a reward you will get and when for your behavior. A variable reinforcement schedule is the most addictive reward system. Slot machines are designed and operate in the same principle.

When you keep playing a slot machine, the odds are that you will eventually loose everything. But the human brain loves the possibilities and excitement of "winning" in the moment and it ignores the long term consequences. The occasional win doesn't make up for the overall loss. People play anyway because the occasional win is highly rewarding for those who play long enough. Some people can walk away and stay away. Others can't walk away or they always come back.

The Internet is also more addictive than a slot machine - especially once they begin to master the technology. Playing on the Net can give you self-confidence. A slot machine doesn't. The most common rewards from a slot machine are those curious noises, spinning pictures and flashing lights. Once in a while a person wins some money.

Would you believe it, a cable modem is more addictive than a slower dial-up modem! Most people had no patience for the Internet when they had a dial up modem. The rewards were slow and boring. That changed when high speed modems allowed for rapid "clicking" and responses. People with high speed modems are now disappearing into a world where they wait anxiously for the result of the next click. The surprise, shock value and speed in which a person gets these "hits" of information and imagery are the key to creating a compulsion and addiction. Time begins to have no meaning when your next "hit" is just a "click" away. There is no time to think about something else you could or should be doing - unless you are waiting. People don’t think of what else they should be doing and they increasingly find there is always time for one more click and one more chat.

More than a slot machine, everything on the Internet is an adventure with social opportunities. It can be mildly or tremendously exhilarating. People feel rewarded when they finally figure it out why their software or a web site is not working. Every improvement in your skills including upgrades in software and your access to new and exciting links can produces a mind altering change in your brain chemistry. The most powerful change is called a dopamine rush. Dopamine is a chemical in the brain that controls brain function including decision making, impulsiveness, and it is released when you experience certain stimulation. It can improve your mood, confidence and produce a feeling of pleasure.

Cyber Sex
Men dominated the Net until just recently. Women are on-line more than men now. Men seek out pornography more than women. Women a seeking out relationships. But men and women are using the Internet equally for "cybering" (cyber sex). Cyber sex is defined as the consensual sexual discussion on-line for the purpose of achieving arousal or an orgasm.

People involved in cyber sex universally minimize the importance and impact of their behavior. They say "It's just on-line" or "It's not real sex." Patients are telling counselors and therapists that having cyber sex with an adult is not an affair (assuming it really was an adult and not a teenager). Marriage and family counselors are no longer asking, "Did you had an affair?" Or, "Did you have sex with someone?" We are now asking "Have you have had sex with someone that you have not had sex with in person?" The bad news is that some teenagers are becoming sexual addicts by the age of 16. The good news is that they are not necessarily having intercourse yet.

What changes people most is their access to sexual content. People would never have access to such a wide range of sexually explicit material without the Internet. They can get it quickly and easily. It’s really easy for children to explore the Net for hours at a time without being caught. The problem is that people become "cross involved" with other content when they are exploring less intense material. There are web sites that are gateways to other more explicit and shocking content. Before long people can end up involved in sexual content that is way beyond their original interest and desire. It eventually becomes sick.

Many people go on-line to find information. But unfortunately the most perverse human and even human-animal sexual interactions are available on-line. The most addictive content is the most shocking that changes your mood quickly. A quick look at graphic violence is a "rush" even if you find it offensive. The biggest "rushes" for the severe addicts come from violent sexual cruelties that are available on-line. People tell themselves that can just click and look for a second, but they don't realize that the trauma and stimulating effects are addictive. Normal people can become addicted to disgusting content not because they approve but because it changes and excites their mood. People become excited and disgusted at the same time.

As people become more comfortable, they begin to disappear and literally live on-line. Some will eventually move from back from the Internet to the real world. Eventually some will start seeking out people for real sex instead of cyber sex. Some will be driven to houses of prostitution or streetwalkers. A "danger downloader" is someone who views content that eventually creates a compulsion to explore potentially dangerous behavior in real life. "Danger downloaders" actually go out to fulfill their sexual fantasies with people who have cyber names like "Slave Master".

Internet Propaganda
People argue that the Internet saves time, but most people are merely spending more time learning how to save less and less time. The end result is that home users are loosing track of time and spending countless hours mastering and playing around with a technology that accomplishes nothing and generate no income. They end up getting behind on work, chores, child care and spending time with real people.

Internet technology does not add to the quality of life for most people. It provides a sense of mastery especially because the technology is unreliable and it requires people to master a changing technology. It is interesting challenge and often rewarding.

Did you know that more and more web sites are structured to get you there, keep you there, expose you to advertising and get you to spend money? All kinds of trickery and technology are being used to manipulate people. For instance, WhiteHouse.Com is a pornography site. The real White House web site is at WhiteHouse.Gov. And if you mistype the address of a web site for an airline or famous person you could end up in a web site for sadomasochistic bondage. Even worse, you might find that you are trapped and can't get out. Backloading is a technique where you can't get out of pornography web sites once you get in. You eventually realize that you have to shut down your computer, but not until colorful, sexual and even traumatic images are burned into your brain.

The Real World Vs Cyber World

Would you let your child go anywhere and spend time with anyone they wanted?

Do you want your child working on homework, playing music or shooting baskets with potential friends?

Do you want your child spending 2 to 4 hours a day on the Internet playing games, looking at pictures, talking with strange people in chat rooms or visiting a "private bedroom" while they pretend to be an adult?

Would you let your husband go over to the house of a woman you don't know and spend hours talking about love, sex, his dreams, his frustration and the difficulty raising your children while he lies about his marital status or his marital relationship?

Do you want to meet people on-line when you know that most of that relationship is based on a lie?

Do you want to work at building a real friendship that could last a lifetime?

Would you let your child go to the library if a pornography shop was in the back and no adults were watching? Or worse yet, would you let your child go into a pornography shop where adults were watching?

Psychologists agree than most things in life that have value require effort to accomplish. The Internet is a tool, but not a life. The Internet is a technological challenge, but it is not a real life challenge. It provides users with a sense of mastery in a machine world but not society, work, school or a relationship. The Internet allows for uninhibited social and sexual interactions. The Internet creates a feeling of adventure. It is stimulating and it can easily become shocking. If you need to be certain, go to www.Google.com and run a search using sexual words. Then be prepared to be shocked at what you, your family and friends can easily find without charge and without verification of age.

There is no doubt that the Internet is becoming a substitute for an active life. The Internet is socially safe. But does it really help with shyness? You can go anywhere and be anyone you want on the Internet. Overweight people don't need to become physically active and eat properly, they can pretend they are young, beautiful and buff, and no one will challenge their fantasy. Shy teenager girls and boys can have sex on line without fear of rejection. You can look at anything and talk to anyone you want without your parents, friends or spouse finding out. There is virtually no accountability when you are on-line.

The research on children is becoming very interesting. It turns out that teenagers are in greater risk that adults. Shy boys and girls in large school are especially vulnerable to having problems. Small schools have a lower incidence of teenage Internet addiction. Shy kids in large schools are withdrawing into their rooms. Some are becoming withdrawn, disturbed, and impatient. A few are becoming a violence risk. It should be no surprise that some teenagers prefer the cyber world and become infuriated and lonely in the real world.

Those with ADHD, BiPolar Disorder & Sociopathy are especially vulnerable. The Internet appears to have calming effect and is the perfect escape from distractibility. Instant messaging presents the greatest risk for ADHD or BiPolar Disorder sufferers. It becomes compulsive.

Internet use began to cut down on family TV time. But now people are one the Internet while they are watching TV. Chat, E-mail and Instant Messaging have become major forms of entertainment for an older children and teens.

Prevention
The Internet has been designed to be visible and accessible. At present, there is no way to effectively prevent access to inappropriate content nor is there a reliable way to restrict activity. What methods exist can be circumvented by clever children and adults. Fortunately there are a number of ways to control Internet use.

Businesses have developed the technology to monitor employee Internet use in the work place. Employees are less likely to abuse this resource if they know it is being monitored. Human accountability and social consequences are a major deterrent.

Another way to create accountability is to place a computer in a public place. Visibility creates social pressure and consequences for actions. People are less likely to view socially objectionable material in public. Signs of compulsive behavior will become apparent to friends, peers or family members when Internet use is public.

While business has adopted technology to monitor employee use, families do not yet have ready access to such software. There is software to load onto your computer and to your Internet services provider that can monitor and let parents and adults know how their computer is being used.

Psychological and even physical safety are real concerns since children are connecting to all the information on the planet. Very few parents would not let their child go anywhere anytime and speak to anyone. Likewise, parents should not allow their child to go on-line unless they know where they are going and who they will be with. Leaving a child alone in their room with access to the world is a risky decision.

You can't allow yourself to become Internet ignorant if you care about your relationships or family. You need to know what your employees at work and family members are doing. What adults do in their free time is their business. What your employees and children do is another matter. Children under the age of 16 are not ready to drive a car and they are not capable of resisting or understanding the dangers of being on the Internet. Monitoring and supervision is essential.

Finally, prevention is more likely to be assured if you maintain balance in your life. People go on-line looking for something missing in their life or they become involved in content and relationships on-line that begin to interfere with important routines, responsibilities and relationships. Making a conscious effort and commitment to a balanced life is crucial.
-------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Conner is a clinical, medical and family psychologist who completed a research and training fellowship in graduate medical education and health education. He provides training, evaluation and intervention services for adults, families and youth. He is Board Certified in Traumatic Stress, Emergency Crisis Intervention, Emergency School Response and Sports Psychology. This article is also available at www.CrisisCounseling.com. Dr. Conner’s practice is located in Bend Oregon and he can be reached at 541 388-5660 or Conner@CrisisCounseling.com or www.Education-Options.com

Dan Jacoby: Busted by his own EGO!

...and guess how he handles it?

Right!! He attacks and smears his victims. Not an ATTEMPT at an apology. Not an OFFER to pay her back the thousands of dollars she spent thinking he's broke... but he's NOT broke.

Noooo... a few people who knew Jacoby's real character had been trying to talk to his Victim and tell her. Here's one example:
Hi Victim -- I don't know exactly what happened to you but I fear that Dan might have spun you the same line he spun many of us on the forum.

He is a serial predator who has promised to marry and move in with at least four women on the forum.

He waits till they are vulnerable or at the end of their recovery and then makes his move.

He is a lying sack of something, Don't beat yourself up too much for falling victim to a predator.

Jacoby doesn't like not getting his own way. I saw him struggle to choose between you and XXX and at the same time send XXXX messages that he would be sitting on the sand with her in Florida. i said nothing as I knew you were too far gone into him to see what he was.

Please don't be too hard on yourself, Victim. I am here if you want to talk. if you want to come down to xxxxxxx we can meet... I am only trying to save you from further grief!!

He's a monster Victim, a clever very sick monster

Best regards XXXX


Here's what Jacoby tells his latest victim (who apparently is one of many) when she confronts him with the above:

From: Dan Jacoby
To: Victim

Good Lord. No wonder you get so "down". This is absolutely criminal!

Now its marriage? This from a "woman" who pulled away from ME! Guess she's upset I didn't go running after her.

Doesn't sound TOO much like a duel effort between XXX and XXX. I couldn't be TOO clever of a "predator" if I posted about my love for you in front of any potential future "victims". Cheerful little things.

Guess that's why their lives are so full and men flock to them.

Jacoby, once caught, changed the link to the video so you had to know the log in. (he does this with a lot of the evidence against him... so he can control who sees it) CLICK HERE:


(notice how Jacoby attacks these past victims as meaningless & crazy, makes a sarcastic comment about them as women and PAINTS HIMSELF AS THE VICTIM. Sounds like Gridney/ Yidwithlid telling Target #2 (who he'd known for 5 weeks) he 'never cared about Target #1' (who he'd known for 27 years). Or John Gash swearing those women in his address book were people he'd worked with. Or Nathan Thomas -- saying anyone who blew his whistle was "just jealous" or (the comment we hear the MOST!) 'a scorned woman.' LOL!!)

Turns my stomach. No wonder I got banned from that board! xxxxxxx - Dan Jacoby

(same baloney as Charles "Ed" Hicks who tells everyone his last 2 wives 'set him up' and he's going to sue the Washington Post, the DA's office in Virginia and Dr. Phil for spreading horrible lies about him. Lies that were documented, on paper and as real as it got. Hicks is still telling women its all lies!

Cyberpaths ALL do this. ALL of them! The one thing they do NOT want? Is their targets to TALK TO EACH OTHER!)

But as research even shows, these sociopathic cyberpaths have their victims so bonded to them (through cybersex and NLP) that they refuse to listen. Then one person sent TV a video of Dan Jacoby...

...out in the sunshine... very much WITH his wife.

Oh and Mr. "I am so broke I can't buy my child a holiday present?" ... was driving a DODGE VIPER.
FROM: DB
(sounds like Clive - who deleted and renamed or reshuffled his online droppings or Gridney/ Yidwithlid who jumped through hoops deleting his escort-reviews from filthy websites and casual sex ads. Additionally - Gridney/ Yidwithlid changed his hate site against his victim so one has to have a blogger account to comment - control, control, control) All this so they can now act like it never happened.

FROM: Dan Jacoby
TO: Friend he wants to impress
June 2007

Thanks, K**. It was rough. Thought I was gonna lose it on the way home. Felt totally disconnected the whole time, but got some sun. My buddy got a kick out of driving, and it was nice to see some folks I hadn't seen in about 4 years. I was nauseous and shaking most of the way back and I'm sure it will take a day or two to get over.

Here are a couple frame grabs from some video we shot today. I'm in the green shirt (and the dark green one's mine). I swear I'm gonna slap the next person who says "But you look great!". Sad

If you're into classic bikes (and new italian ones), I also just finished the complete design and development of my latest website. It went live yesterday and can be seen at SteelhorseClassics.com.

Blue Ridge Parkway...

But notice these egotisical vultures saw no future consequences in putting this stuff (like Jacoby's video) up in the first place?

Unreal how they think their victims won't check; or that their pleas to 'not check up on them' will be followed, or if the victims DO check -- they are "stalkers." LOL

Please remember people - if someone online tells you not to surf them or "if you check up on me it means you don't trust me"? RUN to check on them. Google and go through every single page on them. EVERY link!!

And here's the bullpocky Jacoby gave to his victim when she finally confronted him about the video. Doesn't this sound so familiar? (these cyberpaths are sooooo predictable!)

From: Dan Jacoby

you still don't get it, do you? That video is 7 years old and was posted as a joke because there's a member there who tells everyone "I bet Jacoby never owned [a Viper].

So what do you think is DB's next move, readers?

...are you laughing readers? Because we sure are!!

didn't you see me in the video? Does that person look like how I look today?"

... how would she know for sure? Jacoby picked a victim 3000 miles from him who never him in person!

The Victim's response:

I think it looks like you! Yeah. Of COURSE it's YOU!!!!

You lying scum! Each time before I write you, I pray.

Merciful Father, deliver me from evil.

Yes, that's what these people are - EVIL. They care more about their image than you and your feelings. "I Love You" is like toilet paper to them. And they will bend time & space to lure you in for them to suck dry emotionally, mentally and sometimes financially.

• Apologies, attempts at amends, owning his behavior and treating people online like "things"?
• or Narcissistic Rage? Attacking his victims? Damage Control?

One guess which one he did!!

You could check out Jacoby' s fancy guitar collection below -- but after he found we had the video, he accuse us & The Exposer of "stalking" him and set the video to "private."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4_FyzrKZsQ

Just one of these has been identified as being over $6K (U.S. Funds). And he duped at LEAST one of his victims out of money almost as much money by crying "poverty"!

MORE FROM DAN JACOBY - The "Love" Bomber

"... LOVE BOMBING or showing an unusually intense interest in [someone’s] life and activities — is manipulative and deceitful ...particularly one at a vulnerable stage, such attention can be flattering, but [ ]it represents an attempt at mind control. Mind-control techniques such as love-bombing are designed to bypass a person’s intelligence and especially his critical-thinking skills.

When a lonely or hurting (emotionally or physically) person suddenly receives an overwhelming amount of love and acceptance, it is extremely difficult for them to stand back and assess the reasons for this or question something he desperately doesn’t want to have disappear." - Jason Gay, The Boston Phoenix

This is how cyberpaths rope you in and keep you in. As FAST as the attention and "love bombing" starts - it can come to a crashing stop. And the cyberpath will say they "can't control themselves" but they can and do. (Remember gridney/ yidwithlid did this to his Target #1 - and as soon as he was confronted - he stopped and ran away. Total control despite his protestation to the opposite. Leaving Target #1 twisting the wind and trauma bonded to him. On purpose. Because he wanted complete power over her & the relationship. There was nothing equal or loving on his part, about it. )

Notice the commonality of tactics between Jacoby? Gash? Hicks? Beckstead? etc... (see list at right for links to these stories)

By overwhelming you with love talk, attention, gifts, and sometimes sexuality - the cyberpath leaves you breathless, unable to think - you are in a sort of trance then. Very susceptible to suggestion. And then you are in their control.

Remember, the best way of killing someone is when you tell them that you love them because all her/his defenses go down. - Dr. Ludger Hofmann-Engl

Here's just one of Jacoby's numerous LOVE BOMBS to his victim. He's a piece of work:

From: Jacoby
To: victim
Date: Sun, 18 Dec 2005

I feel hopeless. I am a dead man without you, but I’m dying a slow death every time we hurt each other. You know I want you in my life. You ARE my life. I’m so lovesick it hurts even when I’m smiling. I’m sorry, but unless you didn't give me a thought this morning you must have known I would be devastated finding an empty mailbox in the morning - especially after crying out that I couldn't take much more (of our misunderstandings). (what happened - was she questioning him about his b.s.? LOL)

I love you. More than anyone could possibly love you. If you really believe that, ANYTHING I write that doesn't make sense or seems inappropriate shouldn't upset you so very much. (telling her how to feel about your sick requests, Jacoby?) I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. If I lose you, I die just as I would had we never met, only quicker. If we embrace each other, I will be blessed with a mortal life most people could only dream of.

I pray about us so many times during the day. I ask God to smile upon us, and to confirm in my heart that what we have is His blessing. My heart and prayers tell me you were brought to me to renew my spirit and give me a second chance at living. That's a big responsibility for you. (using spirituality & religion - one of the predator's LURES!)

I know you could move on without me and be fine. You're still healthy even with your withdrawal symptoms. You're beautiful. You've got friends who buy you thongs and ex's who want you back. If moving on is something YOU want to do - to unburden yourself from me - I will understand. I certainly wouldn't blame you. (Jacoby - the MARTYR MAN)

I’m willing to do everything in my power to keep the best thing that ever happened to me growing. Its only going to get tougher, and if I get sicker I may write even more senseless, tasteless babble. (placing blame on his illness! LOL Sounds like Yidwithlid blaming his ADHD)There may be days when I’m too sick to email at all. There will certainly be many days when technical problems keep us apart. You have your bad days, too. Even with all these obstacles, the thought of our precious first embrace makes all the suffering and struggling seem insignificant.

I love you completely, Victim. I need you if I am to ever live and be happy again. I know for a fact that I would die for you. I would hate to die without you. Every minute that passes knowing things aren't right between us is no different than slowly bleeding to death. I don't want to die. I want to live and spend every waking moment making you happy.

No more silly thoughts. No more mental torture. Just kindness, compassion, and love. The kind only you and I are capable of experiencing.

I’m here if you'll have me. I’m gone forever if we can't love each other and show it.

I love you with every bit of my being. Danny xxxxxxx
_______________

Jacoby wrote:

I'm pretty darn tired of stress. I had much more fun and much less stress talking about loving you up all day and night. (her and all his other online playmates - who think he's for real when he's just having fun at their expense!)

We will cut! Standing still too long is the same as going backwards. Its been a very rough year. Full of medical messes and other stress that has taken its toll. I breezed through the first 40 mgs of my taper. Gotta stay focused.

Victim, dear. You know you mean everything to me. You are the REASON I love, the REASON I breathe, and the REASON I live and fight for my healing. I can't let a single moment pass without thinking of you. There is only you in my heart, and I will never, EVER let you go.

I love you so deeply, TV. Danny xxxxxxx

(Jacoby must have a template of these cyber-love bombs that he just inserts his cyber-flavor of the moment's name into!)

Remember: you can NOT love someone you have not meet in person, let alone someone you haven't spent significant face time with. And NOT TIME IN BED - with them, their friends, your friends, your families - day to day living. Love grows. To the cyberpath LOVE is just a word! A word to manipulate and twist your emotions and give them power over you.

Let's look at Jacoby in the love-bombing context. And see some of what he "gets" out of his target. Remember he'd been guilting her for 'intimate photos'? Let's say now, he's told her he's divorcing, broke and pretty much a 'single parent' with little funds to get anything for Christmas. So guess who comes through for this "poor poor man"? And Jacoby's twisted her head so much - she's programmed to give - give - give.

Here's one of his "set up" emails to fleece her:

Jacoby wrote:

you know you don't have to get me nuthin'. (isn't that code for "BUT I WILL LOVE YOU IF YOU DO!")

i was looking at getting [my child] a printer for Christmas. she asked for one last summer that printed photos and stuff but it was a little pricey. she knows i don't have any money. besides, she will be so busy [while away] i don't think she will miss it. i may order her something so she can have it when she comes home next week. (unless you get it for her First!!)

you need your money. (guilt AGAIN! remember, narcissistic types use a lot of opposite or backward talk to get what they want. ie: DON'T means DO!)

i wish i felt better. the good news is i am finally on the macintosh (that Victim bought for Jacoby!) all the time now. even through the pain i can manage a smile when i use it. (because I'm so pleased with myself that I coerced and fleeced you out of your hard-earned money)

i love you. db xxxxxxx
_____________________


from 12/ 2006
Victim: Are you there, honey?
Dan: i am. not well. you ok?
V: did you get my last note?
D: no honey. been waiting.
V: i wrote over 90 minutes ago
D: i didnt get it sweetheart. can you sent it again.
V: are you chatting to someone? (he sure is!!!)
D: no honey (lie)
V: i re-sent the note
D: thank you honey (like Ed Hicks -- easier to use HONEY than her name)
V: i dunno why you did'nt get the last one
V: maybe my email server is playin' up again
D: im reading it, hun. 1 sec.
V: ok
D: honey you know better
V: better than what?
D: i dont wanna open up any more wounds
D: we got enough
V: i just hate it
D: im sorry hun
D: i do too
D: its hard enough gettin through the days
D: and i love the ocean
V: we went through so much at the hands of those people
D: i listen to it every day
D: yes we did
V: i really resent them for that
D: i do too, hun
D: more than you know
D: i dont like bitter unforgiveing self-centered people (even though he is one -- he's talking about the people who tried to WARN the VICTIM!!)
V: that's why i want no truck with them
D: yes ma'am
D: this is hard for me. i dont see you online.
V: no i did'nt make myself "visible"
D: oh ok
D: i just have a hard time sitting up and typing, though i love my computer (he sure does)
D: and my CK undies (Dan, how did you explain to your wife that you got some woman to send you UNDERWEAR?)
V: did you try em?
D: yes
V: are they a snugfit?
D: snug
V: lol
V: did you listen to all angels, honey?
D: every day, hunny.
V: those kids are only 17
D: Agnus Dei is one of my favorite songs of all time. yes. i read about them on the web.
D: from "Platoon"
D: its lovely
V: i love "the flower duet"
D: me too
V: and "steal away"
V: and i adore "songbird"
D: i love the songbird video
V: yes
V: do theose cd's help you relaxhoney?
D: yes
D: i love the waves so much
V: good
V: i wanted to bring the ocean to you
D: you did
V: you can lay there and imagine you have your feet in the water
D i do
V: good
V: you want me to go?
D: i just have troub;e typing
V: yes
D: but i love you
V: i love you, too
D: you made my christmas
V: i'm glad
D: i have all my toys around me (the ones he scammed from Victim by pleading poverty? or the other online targets he scams & TOYS with?)
D: the next time i get dressed and go out, i'm wearing my jersey.
V: it's the nicest england shirt to date
D: its lovely
V: best design
D: i adore it
V: 3 lions
V: cross of st george
D: its gorgeous
D: and it smells nice
D: smells like your house (how would he know? see how he inserts himself into her REALITY to anchor his presence -- mind control!)
V: does it?
V: what does it smell of?
D: i dunno. does it? potporri
D: sp?
V: prolly me
D: its nice
V: eden
V: cacharel
D: delicious.
V: i folded it all nice
V: with lotsa loving care
D: i could tell
D: i really could
D: it took me hours to open everything
V: lol
V: there wasn't much there
D: ther was
V: i wanted to sed much more
V: send
D: you sent too much
V: i just wanted to bring you some sunshine
D: you always do
V: would you miss me if i was gone?
D: yes
V: that's cuz you're used to me
V: like a pair of comfy old slippers
D: i would like to think so
V: did you taste a little bitta chocolate?
D: just a little
D: the cookies
V: lol
V: you mean the chocolate shortbread?
D: YES!!!
D: awesome
V: at least xxxx will ahve the pleasure
D: she is gonna be thrilled
V: i hope it gets there before she leaves
D: it will get there monday morning
V: good
V: did you tell her
D: yes i did
D: shes thrilled
V: bless her heart
D: shes a happy girl, hun
V: she's in for the experience of a lifetime
D: its gonna change her life
V: it'll bring her closer to God
V: for sure
V: i could smell Jerusalem on my packages
D: she asked me what i wanted for christmas...
D: i said...
D: a prayer from you from galilee on christmas day
V: wonderful
V: you got your spirit very well taken care of
V: i hope you place your mezuzah when you're feeling up to it
D: i need to find a place big enough. the ones ive seen used to be so tiny, but its gorgeous. i opened it and touched the words.
V: i was going to get you a smaller one honey
D: i love this one
V: but they did'nt have smaller sterling silver ones
V: they were the nicest ones
V: the silver i mean
D: this one is perfect
V: i thought maybe it would be a little on the large side
D: its lovely
V: i have the exact same one
D: do ya?
V: yes
V: i bought them for us both
D: i love em
D: i have it righ here
D: right
V: i touch it each time i pass
D: "over", lol
V: lol
V: yeah
V: over
D: my shoulders hurt, honey. thats why its hard to chat versus just typing (besides I got porn babes and other targets waiting!!)
V: okay
V: i'll go
D: i wish u were here
V: i know honey
V: i do too
D: i should rest
V: okay
D: i pray we both sleep well, sweetheart. you know i do.
D: are you there, honey
V: yeah
D: God bless you, sweatheart
D: and keep you safe
V: God bless you, too
D: please have sweet dreams. sweet kisses just for you.
V: sweet dreams
D: Goodnight, TV. i love you more than you think i do. i really do. xxxxxxxxxx
V: i know you do, sweetheart
V: i love you, too
V: sweet kisses, baby
D: sweet kisses xxxxxx

MORE FROM JACOBY SOON!! ...If we all can stomach it!

WARNING (2009) - Jacoby has found his way BACK on to the recovery forums (such as benzobuddies, etc) using a new IP number and false identities (ex: "Nurse Tanya" and "Elwood"). Despite the forum managers saying they have banned him forever - they have not been able to stop this remorseless predator! One forum manager refuses to listen and remove his multiple identities. Beware!