GRIDNEY/ YidwithLid Starts Moving In Closer

(originally posted in 2005 - this is our 3rd time reposting)
Here's Jeff Dunetz aka Yidwithlid (aka - his old nickname: "GRIDNEY") starting to circle the wagons by moving in on Target #1 with flattery for her already-damaged-by-abuse ego
(Cyberpaths do this and the target never even knows what hit them)

FROM April 2002

"Target #1": I am really surprised you even remember me
Yidwithlid: how could I forget
"Target #1": well, you could have looked me up years ago - or kept in touch
Yidwithlid: I thoght [mutual friend] made you think I was a jerk
"Target #1": thats funny
"Target #1": [mutual friend] told me you didn't even like me much because I wasn't Jewish
Yidwithlid: oy
"Target #1": hmmmm interesting
Yidwithlid: ya, he was interested in you for himself
"Target #1": but u introduced us. I thought you were trying to get rid of me
Yidwithlid:no
"Target #1": I told you he beat me - after you left. He was mad that we'd... ya know
"Target #1": you avoided me like the plague
Yidwithlid: I am nt very forwrd about my emotions
Yidwithlid: in college was trying to be macho nd cool
"Target #1": seemed more like go away to me
Yidwithlid: no Im pulled back with my feelngs
Yidwithlid: I was stupd
Yidwithlid: can I tell you something
"Target #1": sure
Yidwithlid: you were the most talented person I ever workd with
"Target #1": really? Oh come on.
Yidwithlid: yes really
Yidwithlid: when we were in theatre - I could tell, you were relluy feeling it all
Yidwithlid: for me it was just going throgh the motiohns
Yidwithlid: i couldn't feel (REMEMBER he said this!)
Yidwithlid: you were exceptionjal
"Target #1": wow thnaks
Yidwithlid: you are welcome
Yidwithlid: you taught me a lot
"Target #1": yeah like RUN AWAY!! She's coming LOL
Yidwithlid: no
Yidwithlid: can I tell you something and you wont get freaked out?
"Target #1": depends
Yidwithlid: you were the first woman I was ever with
"Target #1": no way
"Target #1": you mean girl don't you
Yidwithlid: yes
Yidwithlid: no I mena WOMAN
"Target #1": I don't believe it
Yidwithlid: its true
"Target #1": why didn't you tell me
Yidwithlid: macho thing, rememnber?
"Target #1": LOL now I feel sorry for you
Yidwithlid: no you were wonderful
"Target #1": come on - you are pulling my leg
Yidwithlid: I pulled more than your leg
"Target #1": I am blushing.... and sorry I still don't believe it
Yidwithlid: its true I swear (only liars would insist on their truthfulness!)
Yidwithlid: and you?
Yidwithlid: me?
"Target #1": sorry no
"Target #1": I was very much in love with someone and had a boyfriend before I met you
"Target #1": does that make me easy?
Yidwithlid: No
"Target #1": but I know why you might have thought that
Yidwithlid: yeah
Yidwithlid: you were perfect
Yidwithlid: everything
Yidwithlid: on my yellow comforter
Yidwithlid: I never forgot
"Target #1": (blushing)
"Target #1": wow now I feel kind of wierd
Yidwithlid: why
"Target #1": I deflowered you?
Yidwithlid: ya
Yidwithlid: sorry if I freaked you out
"Target #1": but we never even dated!
Yidwithlid: yes we did
"Target #1": no we didn't
Yidwithlid: Yes we did
"Target #1": no but I don't want to argue


So Yidwithlid puts her on a pedestal and regresses the conversation back to when they were younger, while at the same time deflecting direct answers! (Smooth, huh?) Tells her she was his first (who knows if its true? only HE really knows) and gets her feeling good about herself and his memories about her.

But notice how he totally deflects her initial hesitations and questions about his behavior of ignoring and avoiding her when they were younger putting the guilt back on her?

"People who have experienced a certain kind of pleasure in the past will try to repeat or relive it. The deepest-rooted and most pleasurable memories are usually those from earliest childhood, and are often unconsciously associated with a parental figure. Bring your targets back to that point by placing yourself in the oedipal triangle and positioning them as the needy child. Unaware of the cause of their emotional response, they will fall in love with you. Alternatively, you too can regress, letting them play the role of the protecting, nursing parent. In either case you are offering the ultimate fantasy: the chance to have an intimate relationship with mommy or daddy, son or daughter." (The Art of Seduction - Greene)

Now he has her thinking about their intimate relationship. And he has made her feel he still has some connection because she was his "first" (allegedly). And he knows her marriage is over - she's told him that.

Yidwithlid: we were talking th eother day
Yidwithlid: about my marriage
Yidwithlid: the physical
"Target #1": yes?
Yidwithlid: its disappointng
Yidwithlid: flat
"Target #1": have you talked to her about it?
Yidwithlid: yes
"Target #1": and?
Yidwithlid: she doesn't want to discuss it
"Target #1": lots of marriages are like that. I told u, more to marriage than sex
Yidwithlid: i know
Yidwithlid: its just
Yidwithlid: I am SOOOOOO frustrated
Yidwithlid: I can barely stand it
"Target #1": she's tired. the kids and all. (notice how she STICKS UP for his wife!)
"Target #1": ever take her out for romantic dinner just you two? or for a weekend?
Yidwithlid: no she woldn't go
Yidwithlid: told you
Yidwithlid: too practical
"Target #1": that's a good thing tho - for a wife & mother to be
Yidwithlid: I can't take it
"Target #1": you really need to talk to her about this
Yidwithlid: i have tried
"Target #1": dont tell me, you been to a hooker?
Yidwithlid: no (remember he said this one too!!)
"Target #1": thought about it?
Yidwithlid: I wold never do that (remember he said this one too!!)
Yidwithlid: [J's wife] woudl kill herself if she found out
Yidwithlid: and take the kids
Yidwithlid: my religion forbids
Yidwithlid: and ist illegal (remember he said all this above!)
"Target #1": well then maybe you need to get counseling or separate for a while (again tries to HELP him and stick up for the wife!)
Yidwithlid: we have a nice lifestyle (does he mean he's on the wife's GRAVY TRAIN here as long as he stays married to her??)
Yidwithlid: I won't lose my kids
"Target #1": you are putting too much emphasis on the sex
"Target #1": more than that in a marriage, especially for us gals
Yidwithlid: Nothing comes betwen me and my kids (he completely ignores the statement!)
"Target #1": I wasn't talking about divorce
Yidwithlid: maybe I was
"Target #1": uh oh
Yidwithlid: what about you (Yidwithlid changes the subject and deflects from himself again!)
"Target #1": I would leave I was financially able
"Target #1": but its hard with the kids and me being sick
"Target #1": but its over
"Target #1": been over for a long time
Yidwithlid: do you two have sex?
"Target #1": that's personal
Yidwithlid: hey I told u
"Target #1": no we don't - it would be hypocritical
"Target #1": I don't do sex without emotion
"Target #1": Im Pisces - I need that connection to be intimate
"Target #1": casual sex is not for me - never was
Yidwithlid: me either (liar)
Yidwithlid: im cancer - im all about emotions
Didn't he say in the earlier chat snippet he "couldn't feel"? and that he'd never been to a hooker?!?!

Take note that he ignored or deflected her questions and got her to ignore what her gut was telling her. Overwhelmed her sense with flattery.

Do we all see where this is going? Where's he's leading her? And she probably had no clue. Thought they were just having a heart to heart. Has that happened to you readers?

In retrospect we see he's a Cyberpath - but this Target, like all targets - often have no idea with the online predators real, underlying agenda is - until its too late! And this target already KNEW her cyberpath and had no reason to doubt his honesty.

Making your targets feel dissatisfied and in need of your attention is essential, but if you are too obvious, they will see through you and grow defensive. There is no known defense, however, against insinuation-the art of planting ideas in people's minds by dropping elusive hints that take root days later, even appearing to them as their own idea. Insinuation is the supreme means of influencing people.

Create a sublanguage-bold statements followed by retraction and apology, ambiguous comments, banal talk combined with alluring glances-that enters the target's unconscious to convey your real meaning. Make everything suggestive. (The Art of Seduction - Greene)

Yidwithlid: [target]...you dont understand
Yidwithlid: when we were tallking about ***** (cybersex)
Yidwithlid: I felt it
"Target #1": gosh - I just felt so funny about that - I have never done cybersex.
"Target #1": I make fun of people who do - its silly
Yidwithlid: did it feel good
"Target #1": I dont know if this is right
Yidwithlid: you were having a realease (notice how he MINIMIZES the cybersex and MAXIMIZES the emotional connection as he keeps saying he "feels the Target". Of course with a cyberpath the OPPOSITE is true.)
Yidwithlid: I gotta go for a minute
"Target #1" : ok
Yidwithlid: this isnt like me
"Target #1": ok
Yidwithlid: Just talking I am *******
"Target #1": Yidwithlid stop that! Thats disgusting!
Yidwithlid: I need to go take care of myself I cant take it
Yidwithlid: will be back
[a few minutes later]
Yidwithlid: sorry bout that
"Target #1": I am so so so sorry
Yidwithlid: why
"Target #1": this isn't right
"Target #1": I don't know what to say
Yidwithlid: actually it felt very good...dont worry bout it...Dont know what got into me..had to "relieve" myself
Yidwithlid: usallly not that "sensitive... must be you (again he makes the TARGET responsible for him being a woman-user, misogynist, masturbation & sex addict -- he was probably watching porno before she even got online here!)
Target 1: I don't like this - I don't do this sort of thing - ever!
Yidwithlid: me neither (at the end you will see this is nothing but a bold faced lie, Yidwithlid is just 'mirroring' her & her values)
Yidwithlid: you most think I am constantly running to ***
"Target #1": No
"Target #1": I wouldn't speak to you if you did (problem is, Target, he IS constantly running to **** and it has nothing to do with you)
"Target #1": this isn't right - this should not be happening
"Target #1": dont feel right about this - we're both married
"Target #1" I feel
"Target #1": wierd
"Target #1": does that make sense
Yidwithlid: yeah
Yidwithlid: it does (now he knows he's got her and Yidwithlid's going to just REEL her in to his sick game... though she has NO IDEA it's a game!)

Are we starting to see the tactics here? The cyberpath's agenda? Yidwithlid is very smooth about it too!

STAY TUNED!! Jeff Dunetz aka Yidwithlid is going to ZAP his "Target"! A classic Online Predator move!

yidwithlid

GRIDNEY/ Yidwithlid - Our February 2005 Predator of the 'Month'

Our Predator of the Month for
June 2007, In Review: GRIDNEY aka YIDWITHLID aka Sammy Benoit
(real name: JEFF DUNETZ)

We are re-running this expose because
1. there have been some updates which we will post later in the month and
2. it was, like our first Ed Hicks, very complete - including chat transcripts or emails - to show the classic patterns of mind control, seduction and abuse used by cyberpaths. (ORIGINALLY POSTED IN FEBRUARY 2005)

The reason we are not giving any identifying information about this person (such as real name or location) is due to legal and police investigations concerning activities this person was involved in as per the police department involved's request to EOPC. Also, at the request of Target #1 to be compassionate towards his wife & children. The reasons for doing this will be clearer once this story unfolds.

Chat transcripts were recieved from & with verification by law enforcement, from Target #2 and the permission of law enforcement (once law enforcement had them - they had control over the information) - at our request. Target #1, after much debate - allowed us to publish just a few of them, with her edits to protect the wife & children of this cyberpath. They cannot and have not been edited in any way other than to remove identifying information.

All photos of gridney/ Yidwithlid were received from Target #2 - who comes along later in this story. Target #2 provided us with her statement as well, independent of any of gridney/ Yidwithlid's other targets.

We obtained some IMs between yidwithlid and Target #1 via law enforcement. We will try to post the more pertinent of these chats rather than take up bandwith; and portions of IM conversations where appropriate.

Excerpts we got from interviewing both Targets will be used. (These were the first chats EOPC has ever gotten that were accompanied by verifications from computer forensics with law enforcement as being unedited and genuinely coming from the IPs of the persons chatting.)
************************
"J"/ Yidwithlid's online nickname at the time of this incident was: GRIDNEY

In April 2002, "J"/ Yidwithlid sent an email to Target #1. He had 'come across' her name and email address on Classmates.com.'

They had attended college together about 30 years ago. "J"/ Yidwithlid transferred out to another university after 1 1/2 years at the college they both attended without telling Target #1 he was even leaving or where he was going. She never heard from him again nor did she make any attempt to ever contact him. "J"/ Yidwithlid and Target #1 had a brief intimate relationship but more importantly to Target #1, what she thought was a good friendship.

"I don't chase men. I never have. Yidwithlid gave me a little indication he was interested in a real relationship with me back then, but it was sporatic. In fact, just the opposite. When he left the school I had no idea where he went. He never even said goodbye. I could have easily found out where he was because I worked part time for the college legal department. But I would never do something like that that. I was heartbroken but I knew when I wasn't wanted.... even as a friend." - Target #1

And "J"/ Yidwithlid, 27 years later, at home on his computer, looking for prey - something to 'have a little fun' with, broke, depressed and unemployed... looked her up.

"...choose only those who will prove susceptible to your charms. The right victims are those for whom you can fill a void, who see in you something exotic. They are often isolated or at least somewhat unhappy (perhaps because of recent adverse circumstances), or can easily be made so - for the completely contented person is almost impossible to seduce.

The perfect victim has some natural quality that attracts you. The strong emotions this quality inspires will help make your seductive maneuvers seem more natural and dynamic. The perfect victim allows for the perfect chase." -

The Art of Seduction (Greene)

The reason we are doing this story? - because in this case - the predator and prey KNEW each other, for years. This wasn't anonymous, random or circumstantial. Target #1 wasn't some woman looking for love in a chat room. In this case, the adage of "stick to who & what you know" went totally awry.

"J"/ YidwithLid shared only a couple of his nicknames and IMs with Target #1. Within 3 days of the email, they were chatting and catching up. "J"/ Yidwithlid is married and has children. Lives well over an hour away from Target #1. Had lost a major executive job from downsizing. Was looking for work, bored (looking for prey - some distraction), no money to do his usual "online fun" and collecting unemployment.

Target #1 had been on permanent disability for 7 years by that time after working most of her life. Both Target #1 and "J"/ Yidwithlid had worked in similar areas and even the same buildings but had never, in all that time, run into each other. Target #1 also had children and was estranged from her husband of many years, being denied a divorce, controlled, entrapped and being seriously abused.

"J"/ Yidwithlid and Target #1 spent a lot of time just talking about life, what had happened in the years between, their families, friends, whatever-happened-to, and so on. (Typical cyberpath, profiling her and testing the waters to see where she stood and how far he could push things) Then about 2 weeks into the conversation, "J"/ Yidwithlid asked about her marriage.

"Typical of many abused women - I just wanted to be "nice." My marriage was over and had been for about 5 years. I didn't have the funds to take the kids and move out and no where to go.

I should have gone to a domestic violence center but like so many women in upscale marriages, I felt I would have been stigmatized. I talked to yidwithlid about my concerns freely; about the abusive I was experiencing but it just felt wrong to say 'I feel nothing for my husband and I am pushing a pro bono lawyer to divorce him when it's feasible.

I had NO Idea where yidwithlid was going to take this and I had no reason to mistrust him in the beginning. He seemed to genuinely want to talk to me a great deal."- Target #1

"At first there must be nothing of the seducer in your manner. The seduction should begin at an angle, indirectly, so that the target only gradually becomes aware of you. Haunt the periphery of your target's life-approach through a third party, or seem to cultivate a relatively neutral relationship, moving gradually from friend to lover. Arrange an occasional "chance" encounter, as if you and your target were destined to become acquainted-nothing is more seductive than a sense of destiny. Lull the target into feeling secure, then strike."

- The Art of Seduction (Greene)

"J"/ Yidwithlid in an ICQ chat (where it started - this relationship moved to other chat platforms as it went along) he asked Target #1 if he could ask her something personal, about women. Target #1 said sure, figuring - this was an old friend and another adult, no problems - no reason to question. "J"/ Yidwithlid then told her:

"J": it's about sex
Target #1: I am a big girl, shoot
"J": my wife, she's very..... cold
Target #1: what do you mean
"J": she's so
"J": practical
"J":can I ask you something
Target #1: sure
"J": during sex.... do you like ####
Target #1: sure
"J": do most women like it
Target #1: I dont know
Target #1: come on, your wife & I can't be the only women you have ever been with
Target #1: what about your other girfriends?
"J": my wife she won't allow me to ### (Yidwithlid evades her question!)
Target #1: is she sensitive? or was she ever abused in some way?
"J": no
Target #1: you sure?
"J": yes
Target #1: you asked her?
"J": yes
"J": she also s never "in teh mood"
Target #1:she works and takes care of u & the kids
Target #1: women get very tired you know - thats a lot
Target #1: takes more than sex to make a marriage work
"J": I am not sure how I feel about her anymore
Target #1: have you talked to her about it
"J": no
Target #1: why
"J": dunno (evades again)
"J": and she wont let me ### after sex
"J": one time I asked her to ### and she flipped out
Target #1: if this is too personal tell me
"J": ok
Target #1: was she this way before you got married
"J": no
"J": she was great
Target #1: she is tired - kids and taking care of a home and working is a lot
"J": no
"J": she has help (evades again)
"J": she had a very bad boyfriend before me
Target #1: then maybe she has issues and needs to talk
Target #1: why don't you take her out to lunch while you are home, romance her. you need to talk to her
"J": she would say no
"J": she says she loves me but
"J": I asked her if she wold #### so I wold knw what she likes
Target #1: and?
"J": she flipped out
Target #1: sorry but I don't think I would do that either
"J": what about u?
Target #1: what about me?
"J": you and H?
Target #1: we are not intimate anymore
"J": why?
Target #1: we just arent
"J": you still love him?
Target #1: no
"J": did you ver
Target #1: o yes
"J": what happend
Target #1: lng story
"J": tell me
Target #1: some other time
Target #1:have you thought about counseling for you & your wife
"J": no
"J": I wold nevr do that
Target #1: man thing?
"J": no I wold nevr talk to someone
Target #1: but you are talking to me
"J": yes but
"J": we know each othr
Target #1: ok
(April 2002)

Here's where the seduction and mind control techniques start:
- he puts her in the position of "HELPING" him

- asks about sex, and is very polite about it

- evades answering direct questions

- tells her he can talk/open up to her

- tells her HIS marriage isn't going well

- she offers advice (helper position)

- he puts himself in the 'pity me' or 'martyr' position to prey on her compassionate nature

- tell her he TRUSTS her (verbal 'implantation' to make her feel she should TRUST him TOO!!)

Check www.speedseduction.com and www.seducersworld.com for some of this predatory methodology also used by sales, advertising and personal growth gurus.

We asked Target #1 for her story because this is about establishing and ANCHORING a close, intimate and comfortable relationship in the Target so they won't even know what hit them. That's what makes reading many of these stories all the way through so important. It's used in sales all the time. (SEARCH THIS SITE FOR OUR ARTICLES ON NLP and MIND CONTROL)

-One who seems they could never betray you, seems trustworthy, and one who would never let you down, is one who is probably very likely to break your trust easily. In fact, the whole time, an online predator is continuously breaking your trust by assuring you how "trustworthy" or "truthful" he is, luring you into the fake comforts of the predator.

-An online predator cleverly plans things, many times with every little detail mapped and sorted out, making sure he successfully gets you to believing his stories, and him, damaging you as well, for his own benefits and satisfaction, though you don't realize it.(above from our published article: LURES OF THE ONLINE PREDATOR

This all started as very innocent chat between old friends. However, typical of the cyberpath, he moved his agenda along seamlessly. He used phrases and words about himself that were meant for Target #1 to feel that way (while he felt nothing at all!) Target #1 had NO IDEA what he was doing. "J"/ Yidwithlid was all the time information gathering for MIRRORING, PROFILING, TENDERIZING HER MIND and LURING her in.

STAY 'TUNED!' More posts as the month goes along.

yidwithlid

Man Accused in Four Deaths Sought Internet Romance

NYNEWSDAY -- A man accused of killing four people in Pennsylvania was "a quiet person that can surprise people with a sudden outburst," according to an entry he made on match.com. "Looking for a relationship without all the head games," read the profile. "Prefers cozy evenings at home, but a night on the town can be just as fun. Would like to meet someone who can express their feelings."

Castor confirmed the profile belonged to Eichinger, a supermarket customer service representative. Match.com only removed the profile after being contacted by the newspaper.

Kristen Kelly (Match.com spokeswoman) said the site investigates and removes customer accounts whenever complaints are received, and that it typically depends on members and law enforcement for notification of problems.

Behind the Curtain of the MySpace Legal Drama

The super-popular MySpace Latest News about MySpace social networking site has been buffeted by a storm of negative press over the actions of several state attorneys general and their recent requests for sex offender information.

The whole mess has unfolded like a bad soap opera -- and it must be particularly baffling for MySpace, because it has invested a significant amount of resources and technological effort to ensure that sex offenders can't use MySpace to lure or harass anyone.

For instance, last year MySpace realized it didn't have a good way of finding and eliminating registered sex offenders from its membership. The company looked for a product but didn't find anything it thought was good enough. So it launched its Sentinel SAFE project with Sentinel Tech Holdings. Because e-mail Email Marketing Software - Free Demo registration legislation has only been enacted in a few states, Sentinel SAFE uses a range of informational factors, aggregated from a maze of state sex offender registries, to identify registered sex offenders and delete their profiles.

MySpace says that the program, conceived in late 2006, was implemented on May 2, 2007, after an extensive period of development and testing.

MySpace Gets Slapped
Then, last week, eight state attorneys general sent MySpace a letter asking the social networking site to turn over the names and addresses of convicted sex offenders with profiles, including details about how many sex offenders MySpace has identified, how many profiles have been removed and what steps the site has taken to purge them. It also requested that law enforcement officials and users who communicated with the offenders be alerted.

This move was particularly puzzling, because MySpace, like any large Internet-based company with subscribers, has worked with attorneys general in the past through normal, legal channels -- namely, through subpoenas.

"Because this is what federal law commands, when you request subscriber information from a Web site or an online provider, you must send a subpoena. It doesn't have to be a court-ordered subpoena; it can be an administrative subpoena, but you have to call it a 'subpoena' to confirm that you have the right to subpoena documents," Ken Dreifach, a partner with the law firm Sonnenschein Nath & Rosenthal, told TechNewsWorld.

"It's kind of law enforcement's way of saying, 'We have this authority.' And that's all that Congress wanted, but Congress was very, very clear that is has to be a subpoena. When you request information from an eBay (Nasdaq: EBAY) Latest News about eBay, a Yahoo (Nasdaq: YHOO) Latest News about Yahoo, a MySpace, all of which are companies that deal with prosecutors on a daily basis for issues large and small, it is commonly understood that you have to have the word 'subpoena' at the top of the piece of paper."

Tough Spot
While MySpace was already working on developing a means of identifying and removing sex offenders from its service, the attorneys general were asking MySpace to provide information without a subpoena, which is essentially illegal under the Electronic Communications Privacy Act.

"A lot of Web sites and service providers, in their terms of use, attempt to obtain a pre-consent to the release of [user] data, typically upon law enforcement request," Alan L. Friel, an attorney with law firm Kay Scholer, told TechNewsWorld.

"Those of us who craft terms of use, we generally will draft that advanced consent so our clients at least have a position so they can claim it's within their discretion. But that's an issue that's not legally resolved," he added. While MySpace's terms of use may have technically allowed the company to turn over some information, its ultimate legality is still hazy.

Indeed, both the current MySpace Terms & Conditions document and the MySpace Privacy Policy are sufficiently vague to leave MySpace some legal elbow room.

Dangers Remain
Still, there are risks. If MySpace had decided to comply with the original letter from the state AGs -- the one without a subpoena -- the social networking site ran the risk of providing information illegally, which could then get sex offenders off the hook.

"If they turned the data over, and it could be argued that they were coerced or acting as an agent of the government, then in fact a great deal of evidence, everything arising from that, could be suppressed," Dreifach explained. "It is bad practice for companies not to follow procedural law, and it's bad practice for government enforcers to encourage companies not to follow procedural law, because as we all know, from watching "Law & Order," this is how evidence gets suppressed and bad guys get away."

Why then did state attorneys general, well-versed in legal procedure, not provide a subpoena in the first place?

"They may not have had grounds for a subpoena. To get a subpoena, to get a warrant or court order, for compelling the information, you have to have sufficient grounds -- you can't go on a fishing expedition," Friel noted.

After MySpace refused to comply with the letter, as it believed it was legally bound to refuse, Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal took the issue public and published a note on his Attorney General's Office Web site. He asserted that he didn't need a subpoena and called MySpace's refusal "disingenuous" and "inexplicable and inexcusable."

"Legally, MySpace can and must provide this information without a subpoena," he noted. "The vague reference by MySpace to federal privacy laws certainly failed to justify a complete refusal to cooperate -- or insistence on a subpoena for all information. If MySpace wants a subpoena, we will seek one."

Supplying the Paperwork
Why not just obtain the subpoena instead of making the issue public? Is it just political posturing?

Sometimes press releases speak for themselves. North Carolina Attorney General Roy Cooper, for example, published a press release announcing the request, along with a copy of the letter, which was signed by the attorneys general from Connecticut, Georgia, Idaho, Mississippi, New Hampshire, Ohio and Pennsylvania.

There's only one purpose for a press release: to take information to the public at large.
Problem Solved?

After a few days of back-and-forth and at least one long teleconference, MySpace and the attorneys general found a solution: MySpace gets subpoenas and the state AGs will get the data.

Blumenthal, for example, provided a subpoena, and yesterday MySpace announced its plans to comply. The subpoena didn't come from a court, but as Dreifach noted above, administrative subpoenas are acceptable under federal law.

"I have issued this subpoena demanding information from MySpace.com so as to protect the many Connecticut children who are using this Web site," said Department of Consumer Protection Commissioner Jerry Farrell Jr., who issued the subpoena at Blumenthal's request. "However, while this information about sex offenders from MySpace will be helpful, it is not a substitute for parents being vigilant about who their children are dealing with online."

As for MySpace, the company has begun work with the attorneys general who drafted the non-subpoena letter. Their goal is to create a process to expedite the delivery of useful information to attorneys general in their pursuit of any individuals who are breaking the law, MySpace said. The system Manage remotely with one interface -- the HP ProLiant DL360 G5 server. will provide data to all 50 states that request it through proper channels.

"We have received a dozen requests for information and hope to receive more so we can expeditiously get this information into the hands of law enforcement," Mike Angus, MySpace's executive vice president and general counsel, told TechNewsWorld.

CLICK HERE FOR ORIGINAL ARTICLE

HAT TIP TO "B.R." FOR THIS ONE!

LAWSUIT AGAINST EXPOSURE SITE TOSSED

By JOE MANDAK
A Florida-based Web site that invites women to warn others about men they've dated cannot be sued in a Pennsylvania court by an attorney who said its postings falsely claimed he was unfaithful and had sexually transmitted diseases.

Allegheny County Common Pleas Judge R. Stanton Wettick Jr. said he had no jurisdiction over the lawsuit Todd Hollis filed last June against DontDateHimGirl.com and its creator, Tasha C. Cunningham, 34, of Miami.

Hollis, of Pittsburgh, claimed Cunningham's site is liable because it solicits negative comments but does not screen them for truthfulness. Hollis also is suing those who posted comments that questioned his sexuality and claimed he tried to dodge paying child support.

Cunningham and her attorneys say a 1996 federal law shields Web sites from such lawsuits when they merely transmit user postings.

The ruling, issued last week, does not address Hollis' still-pending claims against women who posted the messages. One of the women has denied making any posts. Another acknowledged posting comments but denied damaging his reputation.

Hollis said he has not decided whether to sue the Web site again in another venue.

Cunningham's date-dissing site has tripled in size since the lawsuit was filed, with 27,000 profiles that she markets as "a new cost-effective weapon in the war on cheating men." Cunningham works full-time on the site and is developing others, including a Spanish-language version that will launch in June.

CLICK HERE FOR ORIGINAL

Is a Virtual Affair Real-World infidelity?

Or are in-game chats and animated sex just harmless experiments?
By Kristin Kalning

Sam had met someone, and it was getting serious.

It started out as a friendship, as many relationships do. But gradually Sam's feelings for Kat, a beautiful, smart and confident woman, had turned romantic.

Hang on — there’s a catch. Sam and Kat met in the virtual world Second Life. And although they shared all kinds of intimacies in Second Life, the real people have never laid eyes on each other.

That didn’t seem to matter to Sam. He fell pretty hard for his avatar sweetie. They bonded intellectually, emotionally, and yes, thanks to Second Life animations, even physically.

Here’s where it gets complicated. Unlike his avatar, which is female, in real life, Sam is a man. A married man. And the person behind the blonde, curvaceous Kat? Married. And, quite possibly, a man, too.

(As you might imagine, some people interviewed for this story did not want to reveal their full names. Some gave us their avatar names, while others went with pseudonyms.)

Sam knew from the outset that he had no intention of ever meeting Kat in real life. So although he acknowledges feeing some guilt, he didn’t see the online affair as being as damaging as a real one.

“With Second Life, there wasn't the fear of a real-life physical attachment,” he says. “The fear of someone calling me up at home.”

For many folks, the arms-length quality of in-game romance is what separates a (fairly) harmless experiment from actual infidelity. If these intimacies, no matter how personal, never translate into a real-world meeting or real-life sex, can it be considered cheating?

The majority of people who responded to the MSNBC.com/iVillage Lust, Love and Loyalty survey think it can — although that characterization tends to skew along gender lines.

Sending a sexually flirtatious e-mail to a co-worker? Just over half of men — 53 percent — think that’s cheating, as compared with 73 percent of women. Ratchet that up to online talk or “Webcamming,” and the cheating meter ticks up slightly: 57 percent of men think that’s a no-no, while 77 percent of women do.

Even Sam wasn’t sure how to term his relationship. After all, he was role-playing.

“It’s a 3-D avatar having sex with another 3-D avatar,” says Wagner James Au, author of the Second Life blog New World Notes. “What looks like a hot blonde babe could be a 60 year-old man in Milwaukee.”

But at some point, Sam’s in-world relationship with Kat began to intrude on his real life. A recent family vacation was punctuated by furtive Second Life meetings with his avatar girlfriend.

“I dreamed up any excuse I could with my family to tell them I needed to get online for a few minutes here and there,” he says. “It was pathetic.”

That’s where the lines get blurry, says P. Shavaun Scott, a marriage and family therapist from San Luis Obispo, Calif.

“If people are getting their needs for love, attention, intimacy, companionship and sex from somewhere else, I think it’s cheating,” she says. “And, if they’re keeping their relationship a secret from their real-life partner.”

When Kat’s real-life spouse began getting suspicious, things between the Second Life couple began to deteriorate. Sam says Kat became paranoid. She started having outburts.

“She no longer became the funny, excited and refreshing girl I had fallen for,” he says.

There was a breakup, a half-hearted reconciliation and a final breakup. What Sam didn’t expect, he says, is how much the virtual breakup would affect him.

“My feelings for Kat were no different in many ways than what happens in a real-life relationship,” he says. “All the way down to a breakup.”

“It’s not the sex, it’s the emotional intimacy,” says Au. “You’re online at 2 a.m. getting very personal and talking about stuff that you should only be talking about with your boyfriend, girlfriend or whatever.

Some folks use virtual relationships as a way to experiment. The excitement is what initially drew Sam to hook up with Kat. And plenty of people are interested in the sex aspect of the hookups. “It’s a more interactive form of masturbation,” says Au. “And everyone’s going to do that on occasion.”

Plenty of people, though, initiate in-game romances because they’re seeking something that’s lacking in their real-life relationship.

Amanda, 20, started up a friendship with someone she met in “World of Warcraft.” Her real-life relationship was one that she terms as “moderately abusive,” and her real-life boyfriend as “very controlling.” Her in-game guy, Joel, was much nicer. He spent hours teaching her how to play the game. They went on raids together. In-game chat graduated to AIM chat. Then long telephone conversations.

“You talk about your day, your dreams, that kind of thing.” she says. “I couldn’t get that from my real-life boyfriend.”

Max, 39, isn’t sure what drove his soon-to-be-ex-wife to have a relationship in Second Life. He says she refused to talk about it, and if he asked questions, she’d just hop online and freeze him out.

“I thought she was going through a depression and she’d get bored and move on with life,” he says. “But she kept getting deeper and deeper.”

Within six months of signing up for Second Life, Max’s wife was spending up to eight hours a day online — and even more on the weekends. She and her in-world boyfriend were in constant contact — even when they weren’t in-world. Max says he found out later that his wife and her avatar boyfriend were having drinks together — in his house — via Web cam.

Max went on Google and started doing some detective work. To his amazement, he learned that his wife had married her in-world boyfriend in Second Life.

“I had my dad looking over my shoulder at the stuff I was finding,” he says. “Just so I could ask him ‘Am I crazy? Am I really seeing this?’”

Max ended up pulling the Internet connection out of the wall, and he says his wife started trashing the house. The end came, says Max, when she threw a punch.

“I’m 6 foot, 200 pounds,” he says. “When she took a swing, I said, ‘no, we’re not going past this point.’” The two are currently finalizing divorce proceedings.

Although Max’s wife did end up meeting her virtual boyfriend in the real world, that often isn’t the case with virtual relationships. Sarah had a plane ticket bought and plans to meet her virtual partner, Martin — but she canceled her trip.

“One day I had the realization that I didn’t really want that guy,” she says. “What I wanted was for my husband to treat me like that guy.”

Sarah and her husband split up, and have since divorced. But Sarah credits Second Life with showing her what she wanted from a partner — attention, affection and romance. She gets all that from her current real-life boyfriend — a guy Sarah says she’ll probably marry.

And even though Sarah’s boyfriend didn’t ask her to, she ended her Second Life relationship last year. As a result, she doesn’t go in-world that much anymore.

“I decided that I didn’t want to partition my love,” she says. “I just wanted to have one person to call ‘sweetheart.’”

ORIGINAL

Thousands of sex offenders discovered on MySpace

(If you think for one minute this is limited to teens & kids being targeted or only "known" sex offenders, you are sadly mistaken. - Fighter)

By Scott Malone

Thousands of convicted sex offenders have registered for profiles on social networking Web site MySpace, posing a risk to children who are among the site's most avid users, eight U.S. attorneys general said on Monday.

Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal and counterparts in seven states called on the company, owned by media tycoon Rupert Murdoch's News Corp., to hand over the offenders' names and addresses.

Sources told the attorneys general that MySpace had discovered thousands of sex offenders on its site in an internal investigation, Blumenthal said. He did not give the identity of the sources.

"Our objective is to assure that these convicted sex offenders are removed from this site and other social networking sites," Blumenthal said by telephone after holding a news conference in Hartford, Connecticut.

"The information about convicted sex offenders on MySpace is simply more evidence that additional measures such as age verification are necessary to protect children," he said.

About 100 million people worldwide use the fast-growing MySpace service.

Children's advocates say they fear that young teens who use MySpace, Facebook and other such sites to socialize fail to grasp the risks involved in meeting people over the Internet.

"People should be notified if these offenders have been in touch with them or their children," said Judi Westberg-Warren, president of Web Wise Kids, a California-based nonprofit Internet safety organization.

In January, the families of five teenage girls who were sexually assaulted by people met through MySpace sued News Corp., charging negligence and fraud.

U.S. lawmakers are considering making it a crime for anyone over 18 to misrepresent their age for the purpose of luring a minor over the Internet for illegal sexual contact.

One concrete step MySpace and other social-networking sites could take to improve the safety of young people would be to verify the ages of their members, Westberg-Warren said.

"This is not just about MySpace, this is about all social networking," she said. "The kids can go from MySpace to another social networking site. This needs to be, in general, something that all social networking sites are working with. MySpace officials could not provide immediate comment."

The attorneys general of Georgia, Idaho, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Mississippi and New Hampshire joined Connecticut in signing a letter to the company asking it to turn over information.

They also asked MySpace, which has come under criticism for not doing enough to protect young people using the site from adult sexual predators who pose as teens, if the profiles in question have been removed from the site.

MUSLIM MEN TROLLING FOR WIVES

MUSLIM MEN TROLLING FOR WIVES
Muslim men in Australia are trawling "marriage websites" looking for second wives in what Immigration officials say is a growing illegal trade.

And Muslim leaders have warned that men who take second wives from overseas face jail or deportation.

A Sunday Herald Sun investigation has found Muslim men are using the internet to attract second wives with promises of financial security.

Immigration officials are investigating a growing number of second marriages and say anyone found to have committed bigamy will be prosecuted.

"Muslims are required to follow the law of the land and since the law of Australia prohibits a second marriage, Islamic law will also prohibit it," Islamic Council of Australia spokesman Mohamad Abdalla said.

Victorian Women's Affairs Minister Mary Delahunty said websites that depicted women as chattels were a disgrace.

"Muslim women must be protected by Australian laws," Ms Delahunty said.

Australian men are among thousands who log on to matrimonial sites such as muslimunions.com and qiran.com to find a spouse.

The Sunday Herald Sun investigation identified 77 married men in Australia who were looking for a second wife.

A reporter registered on the sites, posing as a young Muslim woman from Pakistan, and was able to search through the profiles of potential husbands.

The men, aged between 18 and 60, promised their brides houses and financial security provided they accept male leadership and wear a hijab after the wedding...

ORIGINAL

JOSEPH A. CAFASSO - CON MAN EXPOSED

Con Man identified in Simpson County
by Clara Aucoin

Joseph A. Cafasso was not prepared for the scrutiny he faced in Mendenhall, Mississippi. Leave it to a small town sheriff and a smaller town mayor to get the drop on a national conman.

Joseph "Jay" A. Cafasso, is a man of multiple talents, the foremost it seems, is to run scams on unknowing victims. These are not ignorant people, they include Fox News, Columbia University, the Dallas Morning News, the New York Magazine, and many others.

Cafasso zooms into town with accolades and education dripping off him. His game is to talk about his background, and his expertise, and volunteer to help people in their endeavors.

He worked for Fox News until they found out he was a phony. Locally, Cafasso worked for the Mendenhall Ministries as a Development Director, until he was found out, then he moved on to try and "help" Mendenhall.

The con man claims he is ex-CIA, secret agent, a Knight of Malta, claims to be traveling on a Vatican passport, and claims a vast array of illnesses and injuries.

If the name Joseph Cafasso or Jay Cafasso is searched via Google or Yahoo, voluminous text, pictures, and stories pop up.The photographs reveal all the stories are about the same person, although Cafasso has been known to change his appearance drastically. He lost 50 pounds, ditched his glasses, and shaved off a mustache and beard to alter his appearance. Now, he has something like, "the Indiana Jones look,"
going on said Mendenhall Mayor Randall Neely.

While in Simpson County, without knowing he was being thoroughly investigated by local law enforcement, Cafasso had the backbone to meet with Mayor Neely, the Sheriff, representatives for a senator, and Simpson Count Emergency Services Director. Neely said, "We knew he was a fake, we just wanted to see where he was going."

Evidently he was going somewhere because now he has disappeared from Mendenhall.
Neely said the last time he had seen Cafasso the con man had said he was going to St. Dominic's to have his gall bladder removed.

That behavior too was part of his typical pattern. Most of the reports have indicated that when things began to go "bad" for the con man, he would "suffer" some illness or injury that required medical treatment and simply disappear.

Although local law enforcement knew Cafasso was a fake, they also could not find that he had broken any laws. Zealous work on local, state, and national crime computers have also not provided any outstanding warrants. Although Cafasso leaves a swath of stolen identifications and credit card theft, it appears he did none of that
while in Simpson County.

However, the man had a plethora of approximately 15 aliases. It is suspected there are warrants against him under other names. Anyone with information regarding this man is urged to contact the Simpson County Sheriff Kenneth Lewis, at 601-847-2921, or Mendenhall Police Investigator Bruce Barlow at 601-847-2641.

MORE ON CAFASSO

When Dating Legislation Misses The Point

A recent decision by a US District Court judge has upheld the legality of a law that prohibits Americans from speaking with foreign individuals through online dating sites. The law, originally called the International Matchmaker Regulation Act, is now called the International Marriage Broker Regulation Act and was attached to the Violence Against Women Act, an act that any legislator would have had a tough time voting against. The act in question might have had a good intention at one time, but with such vague wording has missed the point entirely on what was intended to be accomplished.

The law was presumably intended to stop online dating sites that center on hooking up single American men with foreign women as women's groups advocated that foreign women brought in under these situations suffer a higher rate of abuse and mistreatment. While that is a honorable goal, the wording of the law makes it a) difficult to enforce and b) open to interpretation.

The law does state that it targets only those online matchmaking agencies that market themselves as a mail order bride site, but who draws that line? Match.com might not be affected, but those that offer traditional dating or matchmaking services and foreign women as well might be in the grey area. Additionally, there are a number of online daters out there that have had successful relationships through such sites. Does making the practice illegal based solely on some bad apples make sense for the American public as a whole?

The basis of the law is a good one and perhaps there are measures that are more appropriate and less presumptuous. However, such a broad stroke needlessly affects more people than it was intended to target, something every measure pushed through Congress should endeavor to avoid.

ORIGINAL

CLICK HERE FOR LEGISLATION REGARDING RELATIONSHIPS THAT EVERYONE SHOULD SIGN AND SUPPORT!

Technology and the Fast Food of Sex

Ingenious 'blue' minds have found a way to exploit a most innocuous technology for sexual purposes.

By Alon van Dam

He checks his Rolex irritably as he bustles along through London's Gatwick airport. Clad in an Armani suit, his attache case swinging with every step as he busily sends an SMS message from his mobile phone, bystanders don't give him a second glance: just another yuppie businessman arranging a meeting. Except that Richard's meeting won't take place in a boardroom with executives, but in a public lavatory with a woman he's never met before and will never meet again after their "business" is concluded. For Richard is into toothing, a new sexual trend enabled by mobile phone technology.

Toothing is a form of anonymous sex with strangers that relies on Bluetooth technology, from which it also derives its name. Bluetooth is a system devised by Ericsson that provides a way for devices like computers, cameras, printers and mobile phones to communicate and convey information over short distances. Originally intended for wireless transmission of files between these devices, ingenious "blue" minds have found a way to exploit even this most innocuous of technologies for sexual uses.

The roots of toothing lay in another trend that has been gripping Britain, known as dogging, which involves having sex at a public place, like a park, with the specific intention of being watched. Dogging has become so popular recently that the BBC estimates some 60 percent of Britain's parks see regular dogging action.

Toothing was created by British journalists Ste Curran and Simon Byron. Amused and baffled by the dogging craze, they decided to invent an imaginary trend with a silly name and see if people would believe it. They wrote a fictitious article about a guy called "Jon" who supposedly messaged a random girl by accident while commuting. The flirtatious contact continued until, a couple of days later, the girl suggested squeezing into the local restroom for a quickie - or so the article claimed.

Curran and Byron proceeded to register a forum under the name "Toothy Toothing" where they and their friends enjoyed countless hours of churning out articles that were supposedly written by toothers. The pair of pranksters then sent off the articles to an Internet-based news service and played the waiting game. Byron remembers: "Our point at the time was to highlight how journalists are happy to believe something is true without necessarily checking the facts."

And believe it they did. Within days, the hoax had reached a far larger audience than they had ever expected. "We kept a record at the start of where we were mentioned, but there were soon too many to record in full." They agreed to do an interview with the London-based daily Telegraph and "many papers read that and followed up, broadsheet and tabloid, regional, national, all over the planet. One of us made an appearance on Radio 5 Live, and had a Conservative MP declare his interest in toothing as a way of meeting women. We received a whole host of offers to license official toothing merchandise: sex lines, Web pages, even mobile-phone software."

Saucy invites
Though technologically possible, Curran and Byron never thought their hoax would turn into something so real. "It's like going into a crowded nightclub, throwing a brick at the dance floor with a love letter attached, and hoping that the person it hits will agree to sleep with you." Curran and Byron reassured the world that toothing was nothing more than a practical joke gone way too far. Curran's last words on the matter were:

"Despite all the made-up ramblings on Web sites across the globe, despite the forums and the fan-fiction, the tabloids and the broadsheets, the perverts and the simply curious, no one has ever ever, ever toothed."

How wrong he was. How very wrong. Within months of the original post, hundreds of toothing forums sprang up like mushrooms throughout Europe, Southeast Asia and America. They were soon populated by all sorts of people seeking out the best locations in their area to tooth, sharing their adventure stories and posting saucy invitations, such as Mister LongDongShlong wants to meet King's Cross Station, 7th of October at 9 A.M. P.S. Women only.

Now, this so-called Mister LongDongShlong may be a broad-shouldered Johnny Depp look-alike or he could be a greasy, fat, 50-year-old pervert, who can tell? Need to know? Hop on a flight to London on the 7th and find out for yourself. Curious? For anyone who owns a mobile phone with Bluetooth-capabilities an exciting sex-adventure need only be a few presses of the button away. When activated, they have the ability to sense other Bluetooth-phones in a 40-meter radius.

One simply assumes a pseudonym and sends the message "Toothing?" - the most common opening move. Anyone interested in a quick sexual escapade will reply to arrange a time and place - usually very soon in a nearby bathroom or other semi-secluded space. "If the shoe fits, wear it right now. Why waste time?" is Richard's opinion. There's a very high level of privacy, as the messages are sent via Bluetooth technology without as much as disclosing the author's phone number.

"It's simple, doesn't take a lot of guts and rejection is nowhere as personal. Of course it's popular," says Shanna Petersen, a sexologist who strongly rejects skeptics who still claim that no one has ever toothed. Having spoken to many toothers herself, she explains: "Show people a new way through which they have a chance to have more sex and they'll do it. No matter how much effort goes into it or how meager the results." When asked about a perceived gender bias, she answered: "One would think toothing would appeal only to men, but plenty of curious women are trying it out. A lot more than you'd think."

Albert Benschop, a sociologist with the University of Amsterdam, researched the trend. According to him, toothing is the next logical step in dating. "The old game is just adapting to new times. It seems that being single and messing around is 'in.' Pair that with our faster lives, our shortened attention span and our technology and you arrive at toothing."

He explains that toothing is "just like picking up people in bars but without the silly time-consuming conventions of decorum that people are obliged to keep to these days. This is much more direct. You both know what you want." He also sees it serving an important purpose: "People can use it to satisfy their need for intimacy. As long as it helps people out of loneliness and gives them more to enjoy in life, I think it's a very good development."

Embarrassing moments
There's a high level of anonymity to toothing, but the flipside to all this privacy is that you have no way of knowing who's responding to your messages. However, according to Laura, a 26-year-old interior decorator, that's the point: "That's what makes it exciting - going to a bathroom stall or supply closet and waiting for someone who could be anyone, having uninhibited sex with them knowing you'll never see them again."

According to Paul, a 30-year-old executive for a Forbes 500 firm, the thrill lies in the sexual liberty toothing gives you. "You can finally be yourself and act out your wildest sexual fantasies without regard to anyone else's feelings. You don't have to live up to any standards." He does agree, though, that "the fact that it's with complete strangers and so different every time is a nice bonus, of course."

But it's not just the sex itself that's appealing. "For many people, the chase is where the thrill is. An important part of the game's charm lies in locating the source of a message: who in your direct vicinity just came on to you digitally?" says an Italian toother who prefers to remain anonymous. Seeing as the reach on Bluetooth is very limited, the person has to be close by. The opportunity for a tryst is around the corner, behind a tree or across the street. Toothers are generally quite young enough to have the level of technological savvy to operate a Bluetooth-phone, -but that doesn't usually narrow the field quite enough. And what if you, in anonymity, message someone you know?

"That actually happened to me once," says Paul, a blush rising on his cheeks. "It's hard to believe but one day I made an appointment in a lavatory near my office only to find that the woman I was meeting was one of the cleaning ladies. I beat a hasty retreat and pretended like it was a coincidence, but I haven't been able to look at her in quite the same way since." Paul therefore strongly advises any wannabe toothers to try it out somewhere far from home and work to avoid unpleasant surprises.

What are good places to go toothing, then? Well, the obvious answer is any place that is teeming with people that will increase the chances of a fellow toother being on the prowl. Public transportation seems to be the center of activity: airports, train stations, metro lines. Besides that, malls and busy shopping streets see a lot of action, too. "Where there are people, there are horny people," sexologist Petersen reminds us.

Because the phenomenon happens in crowded areas, it stands to reason that only the bigger cities have thriving toothing communities. "It's very hot in Munich, San Francisco, Berlin, Paris, Amsterdam, New York, Florence, Delhi. All over the world!" says forum Web master Mischa Schreuder. "But London and Rome are toothers' heaven. Try it out in the London Underground and I promise you won't be disappointed."

Meanwhile, the original creators - who still get up to much mischief, as is evidenced on their blog at thetriforce.com - are still having a hard time believing their little prank spawned such a massive sensation. They thought of it when the technology was just nascent and hard to use. In reflection, Byron says: "As we were doing toothing, we had a few offers from people wanting to develop software, which would make it practical. We knew it would be just a matter of time before someone did. We should have become rich from it. But we were happy to do it for fun." And many people around the world are thankful for it.

People call toothing a fad and say that its practitioners are nothing but immoral perverts. The toothers themselves don't care much. They watch benignly as more and more people of all ages, genders, races, creeds and nationalities join their community.

"It's the fast food of sex," says Richard the yuppie. "Cheap and fast, without making too much effort." Then he checks his phone again and smiles. "Sorry, got to go."

Americans Must Have Criminal Checks Before Contacting Foreigners on Internet

A new federal law that makes it a crime for Americans to communicate with foreigners on dating websites without criminal background checks is upheld by a federal judge.

Washington, DC -- On March 26, 2007, a new federal law restricting Americans from contacting foreigners through internet dating sites was upheld by a federal court after a Constitutional challenge by an internet dating company. In European Connections v. Alberto Gonzales, 1:06-CV-0426-CC, Judge Clarence Cooper of the US District Court for the Northern District of Georgia dismissed a lawsuit by European Connections which claimed that the law violated the right to freedom of speech contained in the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. The plaintiff had failed to challenge the law based on the First Amendment right to assemble.

According to Tristan Laurent, President of the advocacy group Online Dating Rights, "We will now have to take legal action from the point of view of the users of online dating sites. The whole idea that it is now a crime for American men to send emails to women in other countries is so preposterous it is beyond belief. The judge's ruling that there is no Constitutional violation in forcing Americans to divulge all sorts of highly personal information to a complete stranger or scammer abroad before the American can even say hello or know to whom he is writing is only exceeded in foolishness by Congress in making the law."

The law was originally called the International Matchmaker Regulation Act, but it did not pass Congress in previous years by that name and it was later named the International Marriage Broker Regulation Act (IMBRA) before it passed on December 17th, 2005. The law, which was attached to the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) was apparently not debated in public and Mr. Laurent says that no dating company or dating site user was invited to a closed-door Senate hearing in July 2004.

IMBRA makes it a felony for an internet dating company, that primarily focuses on introducing Americans to foreigners, to allow any American to communicate with any person of foreign nationality without first subjecting that American to a criminal background check, a sex offender check and without first having the American certify any previous convictions or arrests, any previous marriages or divorces any children and all states of residence since 18. Match.com is excluded from the law, and the judge found that this exception posed no challenge to the Fifth Amendment equal protection clause because American women are supposedly not abused by American men that they meet on the internet, and thus are not in need of protection.

The law was sponsored by Sen. Sam Brownback, R-KS and Sen. Maria Cantwell, D-WA and was championed by key women's groups. The law was passed after these groups made claims that foreign women who marry American men are subjected to higher rates of abuse than are American women. However, the only study that addresses this issue was done by the INS in 1999 and it found that the rate of abuse in such international marriages is one-seventh the rate of abuse in domestic marriages. See http://www.online-dating-rights.com/index.php?ind=downloads&op=entry_view&iden=24

Online Dating Rights Director of Public Relations Jim Peterson said of the judge's ruling: "It is a sad day for freedom in our country when an American has to have a criminal background check before he can say 'Hello" to a foreigner through the internet." He also said that "America is the only country in the world that regulates communication between two consenting adults seeking to communicate via internet, with the possible exceptions of China and North Korea. Without new email technology, IMBRA could not have been even feasible because people generally sent paper letters to each other's home addresses just a few years ago. Is it right for the US government to make a form of communication illegal when it was the only form of communication possible just a few years ago?"

The law has been attacked in a bipartisan fashion by prominent feminist Wendy McElroy HERE and by men's rights supporter David Usher HERE and by immigration attorney Gary Bala HERE

Mr. Laurent says that his organization has undertaken a fundraising drive to raise $100,000 for a class-action suit against the government on behalf of all the men who can no longer contact women in Canada, England, Germany, Russia and the Philippines due to this law. Contributors are asked to visit the website at www.online-dating-rights.com.

Both Mr. Laurent and Mr. Peterson are available for media interviews but since both have to work for a living and do not receive federal taxpayer funding, arrangements for telephone interviews should be made by email if possible. Contact Mr. Laurent at onlinedatingrights @ yahoo.com and Mr. Peterson at veterans @ veteransabroad.com

ORIGINAL