Pornography & the Cyberpath

(writing in dark blue is from EOPC)
It is well-known that pathologicals (psychopaths/ sociopaths, narcissists) frequently have an addiction to porn. That goes for Cyberpaths as well. Many Cyberpaths hide their porn addiction and others reveal it little by little. If the relationship ever moves to real life, the victim often finds all sorts of hard core porn on her computer or in the computer's history.The advent of net-porn has not only made it very easy for these people to feed their porn addiction, Online Dating has provided living breathing supply. All they have to do is find the vulnerable, empathetic, trusting and compassionate to lay their seduction and NLP on and they have what they really want; as one victim put it -- "a blow up doll with a pulse."The reality? A Cyberpath uses you, your online words and in some cases, even your body to masturbate with. The brutal truth is that a Cyberpath cannot 'make love' no matter how much they may try to tell you that!!And for those who can afford it, online sex-cams, cybersex chats and even booking prostitutes can all be done from the home or office computer providing a 24/7 supply of sexual deviance for these men.What does this constant diet of porn do for these Predators? Reinforces their already incurable, fixed, unchangeable view of other people:

Pornography communicates its own “truths” about women. Unfortunately, they're all lies.
* Lie # 1: Women are less than human. The women in Playboy magazine are called “bunnies,” making them cute little animals or “playmates,” making them a toy. Porn often refers to women as animals, playthings, or body parts.Some pornography shows only the body and doesn’t show the face at all. The idea that women are real human beings with thoughts and emotions is played down.

* Lie #2: Women are a “sport.” Some sports magazines have a swimsuit issue. This suggests that women are just some kind of sport. Or having sex with prostitutes is a "hobby"; the men are "hobbyists."Porn views sex as a game and in a game: You have to win, conquer or score.

* Lie #3: Women are property. It's common to see pictures of the slick car with the sexy girl draped over it. The unspoken message is, “Buy one, and you get them both.” Hard-core porn carries this even further. It displays women like merchandise in a catalogue, exposing them as openly as possible for the customer to look at. It's not surprising that many young men think that if they have spent some money taking a girl out, they have a right to have sex with her.
Porn tells us that women can be bought.

* Lie #4: A woman's value depends on the attractiveness of her body. Overweight or less attractive women are ridiculed in porn. They are called dogs, whales, pigs or worse, simply because they don't fit into porn's criteria of the perfect woman. In fact, if someone is attracted to a heavyset woman, porn labels that a fetish, which means a sexual obsession or hang-up that isn't "natural."Porn doesn’t care about a woman's mind or personality, only her body.

* Lie #5: Women like rape. “When she says no, she means yes” is a typical porn scenario. Women are shown being raped, fighting and kicking at first, and then starting to like it. Porn eroticizes rape and makes it arousing. Women are shown being tied up, beaten, and humiliated in hundreds of sick ways and finally begging for more. Even while being tortured, the porn actors and actresses have a smile on their face — a look of intense enjoyment.Porn teaches men to enjoy hurting and abusing women for entertainment.

Second, being pathological, everyone is an object for them to use, abuse, and throw away when things get inconvenient or they get bored (which is frequent.) Emotionally dead and unavailable (no matter what they SAY their actions always prove otherwise):

Pornography itself is about the objectification of women. In this context women are treated as things, receptacles and socially dissociated objects to be used and tossed aside. They are, in a word, not real. In fact, most men who indulge themselves in pornography would be appalled - despite the immediate response -- if their wife or girlfriend walked into the bedroom wearing fishnets, stilettos and a latex corset and wanted to get nasty.

Why? -- Because pornography is about emotional disconnection, not emotional connection - it fills a gap in emotional maturity and never the twain shall meet - at least not inside a healthy head. (but it will with a CYBERPATH who sees sex & orgasm as 'love & feeling'!)

... What better place to interact in a pseudo-emotional manner than with women who aren't real?

EXCERPTS FROM THIS SITE

Porn encourages the pathological Cyberpath's values and lack of empathy for others as well:

Pornography incites to men to commit rape and sexual violence against women and children. (Absolutely, and cybersex can be seen as a form of sexual violence when with a Cyberpath)

...Marshall said that 86% of convicted rapists said they were regular users of pornography; and 57% admitted direct imitation of pornographic scenes when they committed rape. In short, pornography is a teaching manual for rapists or the sexually violent. It provides ...visual models to use in committing his crimes.

(Question for victims reading this: How many times were you been 'chatting' with your Cyberpath and they took a LONG time to answer you? Or seemed to be distracted? In most of those cases, these Cyberpaths are WATCHING PORN WHILE TALKING TO YOU. It takes longer to type with one hand; and its virtually impossible to do 2 things at once with one hand. The computer is a sex toy to them and you are merely part of that toy; no matter what they SAY - they DO different!)

...Many are sociopaths who use violence to punish women. It is a matter of having power over a person or inflicting pain upon them. There is no sexual satisfaction involved. Yet, pornography use is closely related to the propensity of a man to act out his sexual fantasies by raping a woman.

(EOPC would include 'emotional rape' in that)

Bill Perkins, writing in When Good Men Are Tempted, cites the work of therapist Patrick Carnes, a well-known expert on sexual addiction. Carnes says that there are four clear indicators that a person has become addicted to compulsive sexual behaviors.

• One: The sexual behavior is done in secret and the person frequently lies to cover up his actions;
• Two: The behavior can become abusive and exploitative of others;
• Three: The behavior is used to deaden painful feelings;
• Four: The behavior is empty of genuine commitment and caring. These are the warning signs that a person is addicted.

... The internet is playing a large role in creating new sexual addicts. According to Christian counselor Rob Jackson, he is seeing an increasing number of pastors who are secretly involved in pornography. We expect the numbers to rise unless parents, pastors, and Christian leaders do not take drastic actions to cut off exposure to pornography. The numbers tell the story, but they cannot give us the full impact of how these sex addicts are destroying their own lives and the lives of others.

Dr. Patrick Carnes, a leading researcher on sexual addictions studied 932 sex addicts and found that 90% of the men and 77% of the women report that pornography is a significant element in their sexual addiction.

The Internet is only compounding the problem and creating a whole new generation of sex addicts and potential sexual predators. Charles Colson has called Internet pornography "Spiritual Crack Cocaine," and indeed it is. In 2000, Focus on the Family conducted a survey with the respected Zogby International polling firm on the Internet surfing habits of Americans. The survey results indicate that 1 out of 5 American adults may have looked for sex sites on the Internet. Of those surveyed, 31% of the men said they had visited sex sites. Focus also found that 17.8% of those who claim to be "born again" Christians and 18% of those who are married have visited sex sites.

Excerpted FROM THIS SITE

What is healthy sexual behavior vs. addictive sexual behavior?

Healthy Sexual Behavior

• Mutual consent (free will)
• Behavior is a want or desire
• Fulfilling, enhancing, mood stabilizing
• Personal interchange of emotion
• Rare negative consequences
• Enhanced self-worth
• Sexual behavior is fulfilling, satiating
• Balanced sexual behavior

Addictive Sexual Behavior

• Coercion, victimization, and force by the addict
• Behavior is a compulsion for instant gratification
• Associated with severe mood shifts
• Impersonal and emotional detachment
• Negative consequences
• Negative self-worth, shame, guilt
• Lack of satiation, tolerance
• Erratic sexual behaviors (excessive vs. anorexic)

Coleman-Kennedy, C. & Pendley, A. (2002). Assessment and diagnosis of sexual addiction. Journal of the American Psychiatric Nurses Association, 8(5), 143–151.

Cyberpathy CLEARLY falls into the second category with one word: COERCION.

Do not EVER let a Cyberpath convince you that you:

• wanted it/ asked for it
• you consented in any way
• you knew it was a "game"
• played the "game" with them
• knew what 'the deal' was up front
• its just us; no one will ever know
• you are an addict, too
• you enjoyed it
• they've 'never done this before, either'
• your needs were 'met too'
• it's safer than the real thing

(we took some of the above lines directly from our Exposed Cyberpaths as reported by their victims!)

Our all time winner of the paramoralizing line from a Cyberpath regarding his coaxing one of his victims into cybering with him: "we have been more intimate online than we ever could be in real life." (Now readers, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?)

Frankly, the Cyberpath who coerces a vulnerable person into Cybersex is a Cyber-John "paying" for the sexual thrill with false promises and outright lies; while using you like an online prostitute (but not TELLING or BEING HONEST WITH YOU about that) including:

• "I LOVE YOU"
• we are soul mates/ twin souls
• we were meant to be
• I am nothing without you
• I want to be with you so badly
• I think about you all the time
• I have waited all my life for someone like you
• you are the only one I love
• you're the reason I use porn; you make me feel this way!
• [100s more guilt-dumping lines...]

Why do many Cyberpaths start relationships with women that they have NO INTENTION of meeting or even being a true friend to? Such as women 1000s of miles away, in other countries, etc.? (Yes, we know they SAY the opposite)

The answer may be in excerpts from this article, WHY DO JOHNS BUY SEX?

why do large numbers of men prefer to buy it? Clare Spurrell sets out in search of the answer for the The Times (11/7/06):

It is difficult for a woman to understand what it is that a prostitute can offer these perfectly attractive men that a free sexual encounter -- be it a one-night-stand or in a relationship -- cannot...

Disconcertingly, the men to whom I spoke suggested that lack of any emotional obligation is one of the most appealing attributes of paying for sex...
...When a man visits a prostitute, the mere act of handing over cash for services removes, in his mind, all emotional obligations to her.
“Money displaces the emotions. It frees you from that bond, that responsibility,” explains Sam. “The distance you get from exchanging cash for sex means that afterwards you don’t contemplate the impact on the prostitute.”

Most prostitutes are women far removed from his normal life -- she is not in his clique, he will never see her again, maybe she doesn’t come from the same culture as him or even speak the same language. The BMJ study revealed that this is why in the past five years most men who paid for sex were more likely to do so when they were abroad...

...Men often used prostitutes in their lunch hour...
And almost a quarter thought that once they had paid for sex, they had free rein...

Excerpts FROM THIS SITE

Some Cyberpaths who do travel to meet their targets for real sex and 'relationships' do it for the same reason. Out of sight, out of mind.

Those who do meet and move in with the women often blow through their money and keep them off-kilter with marathon sex while still using online porn and setting up 'casual sex' dates or putting profiles on Online Dating saying they are single to feed the sex addiction.

Online, you are just words on a screen. In real life, the sociopathic relationship parameters take over and you are still something to be used and tossed when the Cyberpath is done.Obtaining intimate pictures may be used for blackmail against you when you find out their real agenda. Cybersex on webcam could be taped without your knowledge by the Cyberpath, again for blackmail and shaming you into silence about them. In their minds, part of your "payment" for participating!

Yes, PORN is a huge component in the psyche of these Cyberpaths: Pathologicals at the Keyboard. Porn feeds their view of others as objects for them to use. It's who they are and they can't be fixed with "love" or "religion."

Victims need to realize there is nothing they did or can do to help the sex-addict Cyberpath. Victims need to help themselves by blocking these guys, once they find out and staying OFF ALL Online Dating sites.

Many victims also state that once the Cyberpath is gone or has dumped them they have "sexual hyperarousal" issues. This is a LARGE component of PTSD and is most common in rape or sexual abuse victims. The same hormones that promote 'bondness' during sex are often released for NORMAL PERSONS during cybersex. In fact, Cyberpaths count on it! Having this symptom alone should tell the victims that:

• it's NOT their fault
• they did nothing wrong, nor did they encourage or ask for it
• they are not "sick" (other than having PTSD) -- this is a huge red flag that seduction & covert mind control was used on them
• they are VERY MUCH victims of sexual violence

EOPC

A Good Article: He's Addicted to Net Porn

SOME OF OUR EXPOSED PREDATORS WHO WERE SEX and/or PORN ADDICTED (clicking on their name will take you to all the links to the stories of their victims):

• Ed Hicks aka Charles Greene
• Dan Jacoby
• Doug Beckstead
• Nathan Ernest Burl Thomas, Jr.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ACCUSE OTHERS OF DOING ONLINE

Have you accused someone of doing something on the internet you only 'know' about through internet searches?

Have you accused someone of hacking, spamming or running a website that someone else told you and you don't REALLY know for sure?

Have you accused someone of watching porn, online shopping or online postings just through checking their IP or by assuming?

Are you really sure?

BE CAREFUL AND THINK AGAIN!

• Elaine Buckley, 50, was fired from her £19,000-a-year job for using the internet for personal use at work
• Her employer accused her of watching hard-core porn but she denied the claims and tried to appeal
• She was unsuccessful and so took her case to the employment tribunal
• No evidence was found to suggest that Mrs Buckley had viewed porn
• The court heard that sites could have been accessed by pop-up sites that Elaine did not know were there or by other people
• Mrs Buckley went through a ‘dark time’ and had to receive counselling

By Sarah Johnson

A churchgoing mother has won a £20,000 unfair dismissal case after she was wrongfully accused of viewing hardcore porn at work.

Elaine Buckley, 50, has been married for almost 30 years and regularly fundraises in her local community. But in 2010 the finance manager was called into her boss’s office to explain why she had been looking at porn sites during working hours.

She strenuously denied the claims but her employers at Waters Edge Ceramics, a dental laboratory in Oldham, fired her for gross misconduct.

The mother-of-two said: ‘The whole experience has been so humiliating. I was just horrified when they first told me of the allegations. I am a normal 50-year-old mum. I like walking my dog, spending time with my children and friends and generally being a mum - not looking at pornography. I believe that what happens between a woman and a man or a man and a man or two women in their bedroom should be kept private between them.'

Mrs Buckley said that in November 2010 the company announced that redundancies would take place. A week later she exchanged cross words with Gemma Taylor, her boss’s daughter, who had been brought in as her line manager after finishing university.

The next day she was invited for a disciplinary meeting at which it was revealed that her computer had been used to view hardcore pornography. IT consultant Paul Burton printed off a report of her computer use - which revealed that the machine had been used to view hard-core pornography. Elaine said: ‘They kept using the words "obscene" and "pornographic" websites.

‘If it was a cooking website then that might make sense because I could be looking up a recipe for a colleague but not a pornography site. I kept denying it. I couldn’t understand why they thought I had been on the sites. I had been working with the company for ten years, they knew me. My computer was used by other people too and the site could have been a pop up site where the cookies saved to the machine. But they didn’t believe me. It was such a dark, dark time for me.’

On November 11, Elaine was handed with two letters announcing her suspension. On 17 December, she was sacked from her role by a further letter. It stated that she had ‘accessed inappropriate and obscene websites’, spent a ‘wholly unacceptable’ amount of time on personal sites and failed to follow an order not to do so. Elaine tried to appeal within the company but was unsuccessful and so took Waters Edge Ceramics to employment tribunal in February 2011.

Manchester Alexandra House heard that the sites could have been accessed by pop-up sites that Elaine did not know were there or other people who used the computer. The hearing was told the company had no evidence that Elaine had viewed pornography.

On November 2, 2011, Employment Judge Diana Kloss recorded that Mrs Buckley was ‘unfairly dismissed’ under section 98(4) of the Employment Rights Act 1996. Mrs Buckley, who has undergone counselling as a result of the ordeal, said: ‘Going to the tribunal was nerve wracking. After I had taken to the stand, I was literally shaking all over.

‘I never drink but my husband took me to a pub just down the road and ordered me a Grand Marnier on the rocks. The court accepted that I wasn’t to blame and I was innocent. But my boss has never apologised, he fought it to the death. The money was not an apology, it was for a loss of earnings. I had to have counselling for eight months, up to three times a week.’

Elaine now works as a book keeper for the RSPCA, earning £8.50 an hour.

original article found here

The Skinner Box Effect: Sexual Addiction & Online Pornography

by T.M. Grundner

These are the facts:
1. Among the millions of people on the Internet there exists a signifigant percentage for whom online pornography is not, and never will be, a "recreational pursuit." Rather it is, or soon will become an addiction.

2. Researchers and clinicians have established that pornography addiction contains all the characteristics of any other kind of addiction: mood altercation, compulsion, dependency, the need for higher and more exotic "doses" and withdrawl symptoms when the person tries to stop.

3. Because of the "Skinner Box Effect," pornography on the Internet is different and far more virulent than the customary forms. The reason is because it derives its potency from both the content of what is seen, AND from the way it is presented to the user by the technology itself.

For those suffering from the problem, Dr. Grundner provides a series of behavioral and spiritual techniques to help stop the downward spiral. Over 30 personal accounts are presented—taken directly from the Internet itself—of the pain, suffering, loss of jobs, and failed marriages that have resulted from online pornography and sexual addiciton.

This book is a warning, but one which contains a large measure of hope.

http://www.amazon.com

Abusive Husband Threatens Wife with Net Porn

(INDIA) A man threatened his wife to upload her obscene video on the internet if she did not bring money from her parents and withdraw case of domestic violence she filed against him with the police.

The incident took place in Gas Rahat Colony, coming under the limits of Nishatpura police station. Cases under sections of dowry harassment and criminal intimidation have been registered against the accused husband on Friday, the police said.

The complainant Shahnaz wife of Arif Sheikh stated to police that her husband, who is in grip of addictive habits, would beat her demanding money every now and then. He wanted his wife to get Rs 50,000 from her parents. Besides, Sheikh was also exerting pressure on her to withdraw the case of domestic violence she had filed against him in Mahila Thana in the past, the police said.

However, when the woman resisted to his demands, the accused threatened of uploading her obscene video on the internet. Subsequently, she approached the police and got registered a case against him.

Police said the two got married in the year 2005 and also have a son. The woman started residing separately in the same locality from past sometime due to repeated harassment by the accused.

The accused is a habitual offender and has also served two and half years in jail in connection with the infamous Gujarat train dacoity, the police said, adding that efforts remain underway to nab him.

original article found here

Chatroulette

Disturbing: A girl tries out Chatroulette and is linked to a man
who immediately starts unzipping his trousers

Is new website the most disturbing internet craze yet?

By Olivia Lichtenstein

When this writer's daughter told her about a 'cool' new teen website, she decided to investigate. What she found was the most worrying internet craze to date.
~~~~~

Late on a weekday afternoon and I'm sitting at my computer. On the screen in front of me are two small boxes - little video streams - one above the other. My face is in the bottom box. The face and bare torso of a man is in the one on top. Let's call him Gerry.

Beside Gerry's face is a box into which we can type, so that we can chat to one another. So he types hello and then asks where I come from. I say hello back and tell him I am from London.

Our exchange has lasted barely seconds, but suddenly another message pops up. He's asking me if I will remove my top so he can see my breasts.

He is a complete stranger, and one of the many crude and deviant men I have encountered in the past 30 minutes.

I quickly click a button to have him removed from my screen.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the world of Chatroulette - an internet site that is turning into something of a phenomenon.

It was my 16-year- old daughter who told me about Chatroulette, a 'cool' new site she and her friends recently started using.

It's the fast-growing, latest fad among teenagers - a quick and easy way to communicate online with people from all over the world.

It works literally like roulette. Users log on, press a big button labelled 'Next' and it then randomly connects you to any one of a number of people across the world currently logged on. The gimmick is the fact that all of the users have webcams - so they can 'meet' the random strangers.

It was the idea of 17-year-old Russian schoolboy Andrey Ternovskiy. He launched it in November last year and his business quickly grew virally from 50 users to 50,000 in its first month.

One million people now visit it each day. However, what may have started as the innocent game of a Moscow schoolboy has quickly become a potential tailor-made portal for perverts and paedophiles - proving once again that the internet is putting the lives of our vulnerable teenagers (and adults) in jeopardy.

And believe me, after you've seen it, you'll never complain about your teen's obsession with texting their friends again.

For this, the latest Frankenstein monster spawned by the internet is, as with so much web-based activity, impossible to monitor, restrict or control.

After my daughter first told me about it a few weeks ago, I decided to investigate the site for myself - and, even for a technophobe like me, the ease with which I was able to access it was terrifying.

It doesn't require you to log in or register (despite the fact that the site states it is for over-16s only) and all you need is a computer with a webcam. It's entirely free and once you've clicked a button to allow the site to access your webcam, your face appears in one of two boxes.

In fact, it's so disturbingly easy that even primary school children, with basic computer skills, could access it.

Once you're plugged in, the site immediately starts searching for a 'partner' and within seconds you find yourself jettisoned into a stranger's bedroom, living room, or, all too often, trousers.

The webpage is unsophisticated and states only the following rules: '16+, clothes, report button.' More often than not, though, as I discovered, 'unclothed' was the order of the day.

And the button which allows you to report unseemly behaviour is all very well, but the perpetrator's punishment is a tame warning and 40 minutes suspension from the site. Hardly a deterrent. During my time on Chatroulette, the users I encountered were men and women from Germany, Holland, Turkey, Spain, America and Britain. To begin, you click a button marked 'New game'.

If you don't like the look of the person you have been connected to, you click a button marked 'Next' and somebody else instantly pops up at random. They can be any age, any sex and hail from Manchester to Moscow - although the site's lingua franca is English.

Many of the people on this site are exhibitionists who are free to display themselves to total strangers. Mostly, the people I chatted to were men. Some of them showed their faces - others angled the computer in such a way as to mask their identities and, all too often, to reveal their genitals.

At least one out of every five of the strangers I was connected to was a man with the camera pointed directly at his private parts. Within the first few seconds of using the site, I was asked: 'Do you show boobs?'

This was a man from Ibiza, who had angled the computer in such a way that all I could see was his clothed lap. He could have been anything from 17 to 70.

A man from Germany whose face was masked with a scarf asked if I would like to watch him fondle himself. Another told me in graphic terms what he would like me to do to him.

Apart from a sweet but banal conversation with a Spanish student who wanted to improve his English, and a courteous Turkish architect, most of the encounters I experienced left me feeling that I had become the unwitting participant in a porn film.

The ability to parachute into the lives of strangers is simultaneously addictive and repellent. Just like pornography, it leaves the user feeling dirty and ashamed.

Most of the people I encountered were foreign - and while their English was often poor, they knew the words required to fulfill one purpose: to persuade young girls and women to undress.

Chatroulette may have been invented by a child, but it's clearly not appropriate for children - and it's anything but a game.

But, thanks to celebrity users such as Paris Hilton and Ashton Kutcher, teenagers are flocking to the site.

Indeed, if you swiftly 'next' your way through your matches, you will find that around 50 per cent of users appear to be younger than 20.

The fact that my daughter and her friends are not shocked by the site is shocking in itself - it's a further indication that such aberrant behaviour has been normalised.

'If you don't like something, you just click "next",' my daughter blithely told me. It saddens me that she has grown up in a society that makes it possible for her to be so worldly and resigned at such a young age.

But she is not alone. Even more depressingly, it seems that - thanks to the internet - such sexualised behaviour is pervading all generations.

Just last week, a newspaper column related the story of a woman who had recently gone on a date with an unnamed parliamentary candidate. Their date went well, but - as the source revealed - the very next day she received an email containing a photograph of his genitals.

Shocking enough, but sadly not a unique occurrence. I have a number of middle-aged friends who are newly divorced or still single (sometimes still very married) and navigating the tricky minefield that is internet dating. They have found that conversations online all too quickly turn vulgar. And increasingly pornographic, too.

One told me of a man who, within minutes of meeting online, tried to engage her in dirty talk. Another had an online suitor who bombarded her with a series of naked pictures.

Of course, my friends did not participate. But one short afternoon on Chatroulette and you will find that there are a number of women who will. So what is it that is attracting so many modern men and women to such disturbing exhibitionism?

Dr Taly Weiss is a Jerusalem-based marketing trends researcher with a PhD in Social Psychology. She says that internet encounters, be they ones such as on Chatroulette or dating sites, or the sending of explicit photos, are about satisfying the feeling of excitement that comes when we are allowed inside private places and invite people into them too.

Chatroulette, in particular, where you are literally live in front of a total stranger, takes this to extremes.

I fear for what is going to happen next. For, when you think back to the creation of mobile phones, what started as a useful way of communicating quickly turned into sexting (sending explicit text messages).

Now, we face the worrying prospect that a growing number of men find it acceptable to expose themselves to strangers online - and the young girls watching them not only think it's normal, but some even agree to perform sex acts on themselves in return.

Will this soon become the perverted future of courtship?

Just think of the way that Ashley Cole threw away his marriage to Cheryl Cole by texting naked photos of himself to a stranger, before embarking on an alleged affair with her. 17-year-old Ashleigh Hall was raped and murdered by 26-year-old Peter Chapman, a man who had met and groomed her on Facebook.

Let us no longer pretend that this is all a 'bit of fun'. How long will it be before we hear of a similar Chatroulette tragedy?

Sarita Yardi, a PhD candidate at the Georgia Institute of Technology, is studying the role of technology in teenagers' lives. She says that the idea of showing your face to strangers violates almost all social norms of the offline world.

'If someone walked up to you at a cocktail party, stared at you intensely, then simply walked away, you would feel confused and probably offended,' she says.

She advises parents to think carefully about what material is socially appropriate for their child and to weigh up the risks and rewards. 'It's like an online Lord Of The Flies,' she says.

'There are too many unacceptable cultural and moral boundaries that are crossed - like random and unpredictable exposure to nakedness - for it to persist in its present state. This brings up interesting questions of governance.' Indeed it does.

The startling lack of internet controls has been a cause of anxiety for parents for some time.

While users of other social networking sites are urged to check the identities of those they talk to, Chatroulette aficionados socially enter into conversation with random strangers who remain entirely anonymous.

'The fact that my daughter and her friends are not shocked by the site is shocking in itself'

Our children live in an age where the internet is all that they've ever known and they have access to all manner of images and information that we, as children, were not exposed to.

According to a recent Home Office report on the Sexualisation of Young People, 99 per cent of eight to 17-year-olds have access to the internet and 60 per cent of 12 to 15-year-olds say that they mostly use it on their own.

The study found that 49 per cent of children aged eight to 17 have an online profile on sites such as Bebo, MySpace and Facebook and that girls report being under increasing pressure to display themselves in their underwear online.

Almost half of them say that their parents set no rules for the use of such sites. Chatroulette has taken social networking to the next level and provides a perfect forum for men to prey on vulnerable girls and women.

The images I encountered were shockingly pornographic, and it disturbs me profoundly to think that my 16-year-old has been exposed to them, even if she does have the street smarts to move swiftly on if she encounters anything unseemly.

The site is little more than a haven for exhibitionists and voyeurs.

It's not a game, it's porn, and pornography is addictive, corrosive and promotes unhealthy sexual stereotypes and behaviour for girls and boys. It undermines dignity and respect for others by making sexual intimacy into little more than a spectator sport without love, commitment or responsibility.

Depressingly, the business world has been quick to exploit the opportunities of this viral site, now worth an estimated £30 million, which has spread like bushfire around the world.

Fred Wilson, a New York-based venture capitalist with Union Square Ventures who has invested in dozens of dotcom companies, including Twitter, states on his blog: 'The internet is this huge network with over a billion people worldwide on it.

'Chatroulette feels like a cool way to take a quick trip around that network, meeting people and talking to them.'

But while the site's founder claims he built it so he and his friends could start doing things together online, like watching movies or making things, those aims have quickly been subverted.

And, as I discovered during my short venture into that world, it's yet another example of the pernicious sexual culture that threatens to corrupt the fibre of our children's innocence.

original article here

Browser Flaw Can Pick Up Your Porn Site Visits

Dozens of websites have been secretly harvesting lists of places that their users previously visited online, everything from news articles to bank sites to pornography, a team of computer scientists found.

The information is valuable for con artists to learn more about their targets and send them personalized attacks. It also allows e-commerce companies to adjust ads or prices — for instance, if the site knows you've just come from a competitor that is offering a lower price.

Although passwords aren't at risk, in harvesting a detailed list of where you've been online, sites can create thorough profiles on its users.

The technique the University of California, San Diego researchers investigated is called "history sniffing" and is a result of the way browsers interact with websites and record where they've been. A few lines of programming code are all a site needs to pull it off.

Although security experts have known for nearly a decade that such snooping is possible, the latest findings offer some of the first public evidence of sites exploiting the problem. Current versions of the Firefox and Internet Explorer browsers still allow this, as do older versions of Chrome and Safari, the researchers said.

The report adds to growing worry about surreptitious surveillance by Internet companies and comes as federal regulators in the U.S. are proposing a "Do Not Track" tool that would prevent advertisers from following consumers around online to sell them more products.

The researchers found 46 sites, ranging from smutty to staid, that tried to pry loose their visitors browsing histories using this technique, sometimes with homegrown tracking code. Nearly half of the 46 sites, including financial research site Morningstar.com and news site Newsmax.com, used an ad-targeting company, Interclick, which says its code was responsible for the tracking.

Interclick said the tracking was part of an eight-month experiment that the sites weren't aware of. The New York company said it stopped using the technique in October because it wasn't successful in helping match advertisers to groups of Internet users. Interclick emphasized that it didn't store the browser histories.

Morningstar said it ended its relationship with Interclick when it found out about the program, and NewsMax said it didn't know that history sniffing had been used on its users until AP called. NewsMax said it is investigating.

The researchers studied far more sites — a total of the world's 50,000 most popular sites — and said many more behaved suspiciously, but couldn't be proven to use history sniffing. Nearly 500 of the sites studied had characteristics that suggested they could infer browsers' histories, and more than 60 transferred browser histories to the network. But the researchers said they could only prove that 46 had done actual "history hijacking."

"Browser vendors should have fixed this a long time ago," said Jeremiah Grossman, an Internet security expert at WhiteHat Security Inc., which wasn't involved in the study. "It's more evidence that we not only needed the fix, but that people really should upgrade their browsers. Most people wouldn't know this is possible."

The latest versions of Google Inc.'s Chrome and Apple Inc.'s Safari have automatic protections for this kind of snooping, researchers said. Mozilla Corp. said the next version of Firefox will have the same feature, adding that a workaround exists for some older versions as well.

Microsoft Corp. noted that Internet Explorer users can enable a private browsing mode that prevents the browser from logging the user's history, which prevents this kind of spying. But private browsing also strips away important benefits of the browser knowing its own history, such as displaying Google links you've visited in different colors than those you haven't.

"It's surprising, the lifetime that this fundamental a privacy violation can stick around," said Hovav Shacham, an assistant professor of computer science and engineering at UC San Diego and one of the paper's authors.

Internet companies are obsessed with tracking users' behavior so they can target their ads better. Uproar has prompted the Federal Trade Commission to propose rules that would limit advertisers' ability to track Internet users to show them advertisements. The "Do Not Track" tool the commission is proposing could eventually take the form of a browser setting that tells advertisers which visitors are off limits; such a setting, though, wouldn't necessarily block history sniffing.

History sniffing is essentially a side-by-side comparison of Web pages you've already visited with Web pages that a particular site wants to see if you've visited. If there's a match, users likely would never know, but the site administrators would learn a lot about their audiences.

For instance, a popular porn site was checking its visitors' histories to see if they'd visited 23 other pornography sites, and the code used on the Morningstar and NewsMax.com sites looked for matches against 48 specific Web pages, all related to Ford automobiles.

Sites can carry on this kind of inspection very quickly. Grossman said modern programs can check as many as 20,000 Internet addresses per second.

original article here

AFF - Online Dating Sexual Harassment Scandal

Do we NEED to give ANY MORE reasons not to use ANY (and we mean ALL OF THEM) online dating services?

Some of them are RUN BY PREDATORS.

FriendFinder's executives will learn a hard lesson: It's one thing to profit from women. It's another to take advantage of them.

A porn star draping boobs over an employee's head. Lapdances on the company dime. $50 million in back taxes. These are just some of the charges Penthouse publisher FriendFinder Networks is facing from an ex-employee.

Natalie Cedeno, the company's former HR director, says that company executives retaliated against her for pointing out violations of labor laws. She was a top executive at the Internet side of the business, deeply involved in its operations for eight years, before FriendFinder fired her without cause in January, she says. She claims the company then tried to withhold the two years of pay she was owed under her contract unless she agreed to stay silent about FriendFinder's misdeeds — a move her lawyer characterizes as "extortion." Cedeno plans to file complaints with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and California's Department of Fair Employment and Housing next month.

And a juicy complaint it will be. FriendFinder Networks used to be called Penthouse Media Group before it acquired Various Inc., the operator of Adult FriendFinder and other online personals sites, in 2007 for $500 million. While they're both porn companies, the office cultures of Florida-based Penthouse and Silicon Valley-based Various Inc. — where Cedeno worked before the merger — couldn't have been more different. That became obvious on May 2, 2008, when the ex-Penthouse executives, now in charge of the combined business, decided to ship in a passel of Penthouse Pets to the old Various offices.

When management announced that the venerable porn magazine's stable of nude models would be stopping by the office to serve ice cream, one female employee objected, as Cedeno tells the story. When they arrived, one of the scantily clad Pets made a beeline for the dissenter. "They came into her office and placed her breasts on her head in an attempt to humiliate her, and they had someone ready to take pictures," Cedeno says. The employee quit soon after the incident.

The evening before Cedeno was terminated last month, she says she brought up at a meeting of executives an employee who had charged thousands of dollars in lapdances to the company — an expense the company's pre-Penthouse management wouldn't have tolerated. "The president laughed and said the CEO had paid for lapdances for investment bankers with company money last weekend," Cedeno says.

But wait a second: Aren't we talking about a company whose main product is porn? What are a few workplace hijinks at a business which makes money off of naked ladies? Well, there's much more than Cedeno's pay at stake. FriendFinder filed to go public last year. It desperately needs the $460 million it hopes to raise in an IPO in order to pay down $420 million in debt. If the company has legal problems and labor issues beyond what it disclosed in its SEC filings, its executives could face heavy penalties, and the IPO would likely be scotched.

FriendFinder Networks CEO Marc Bell did not return a message left requesting comment on Cedeno's allegations. The SEC restricts what companies in registration for an IPO can say publicly about their business outside of regulatory filings, a requirement known as the "quiet period."

According to Cedeno, Various operated Adult FriendFinder and other X-rated adult sites for seven years without drawing a single sexual-harassment lawsuit from employees. The company was as buttoned-down as nearby NASA contractors. Office rules restricted employees from posting any photos on office walls, or even having naughty screensavers. Cedeno says the company's longtime postman had to ask her, after six years of delivering mail, what the company actually did. And founder Andrew Conru, who took no venture capital and therefore owned almost all of the company, is famously mild-mannered. (The raciest he gets: He once told a magazine he'd had a ménage-à-trois.)

Valleywag had previously heard rumblings of discontent at the company. Over the summer, Anthony Previte, a Penthouse executive who was COO of the company, reportedly prompted a mutiny among the Sunnyvale employees by trying (and failing) to replace most of the operations team. We also heard of a messy firing in the sales department. But that was just the tip of the iceberg, according to Cedeno.

Everything changed after Penthouse bought the company and changed its name to FriendFinder Networks, she says. Within four weeks, FriendFinder had its first labor complaint, and soon drew two more. The company's former controller plans to file an age-discrimination lawsuit, Cedeno says.

Cedeno says new management was unresponsive to her concerns. When she pointed out violations of overtime law, the company's VP of operations emailed her, "This garbage stops now." (He meant her complaints, not the violations.) She says she was then ordered to lie and blame pay discrepancies on the company's outside payroll vendor. She refused.

She also says that in January 2008, Rob Brackett, president of the company's Internet group, told her that CEO Marc Bell had complained to him in December — the first day he came to visit Penthouse's new acquisition — that the women in FriendFinder's technology department were "ugly" and that Cedeno should get rid of them and replace them with more attractive workers to keep the male employees happy. Brackett pressed Cedeno, asking her how she was going to satisfy Bell. She refused the request.

The company has admitted in its S-1 filings that it failed to collect taxes owed on Internet purchased in the European Union for years. It has already charged $64 million against the purchase price of Various. (It now reports the acquisition as costing the company $401 million, down from $500 million, thanks to this and other charges.) But it has not disclosed the full extent of its pending tax bills. Cedeno says the back taxes in Germany alone come to $40 million and the company owes $10 million in another European country.

FriendFinder seems to have made a formidable enemy. Cedeno has hired Amanda Metcalf, a former prosecutor now in private practice who's best known for her role in a lawsuit against Death Row Records. I asked Metcalf why she took on Cedeno's case. "Woman done wrong," she replied. If Cedeno proves her allegations in court, FriendFinder's executives will learn a hard lesson: It's one thing to profit from women. It's another to take advantage of them.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE

Queen's Cavalry Officer is an Internet Predator

By Mazher Mahmood

(United Kingdom)A Queen's Cavalry officer is today exposed as an internet pervert who hosts orgies in his royal barracks flat

By day Captain Tari Mundawarara proudly leads the Changing of the Guard as hundreds of tourists watch on Horse Guards parade.

But at night the soldier - who trained with Prince Harry - trawls sex sites, offering girls behind-the-scenes royal tours as bait.

Bragging that he's part of the Queen's bodyguard, seedy Mundawarara's chat-up line is: "How would you like to get ****** by a cavalryman in a royal guardroom?"

He's also prepared to INSULT the Queen - joking that she's "definitely not totally with it" - and BREACH SECURITY, giving away secret details of her movements to lure women.

But we caught the officer off-Guard after receiving a tip-off about his activities on the internet from a site user.

He had boasted to her: "I'm an attractive well built and sexy professional black male, 32 years old and good in bed. I'm open to the idea of playing with couples . . . if you're lucky I might wear my uniform."

Mundawarara sent snaps of himself in Life Guards uniform - including one on his horse - to impress her before offering her sex in the royal guardroom.

Then he asked the girl to bring along another blonde friend for a threesome. "I have not had two blondes before. I've had a brunette and a blonde," he bragged. He said he had to have his romps where he worked so he could be on call "in case the Queen comes".

He arranged a meeting with our undercover reporters, posing as swingers, in the Clarence pub in Whitehall on Wednesday after his last parade. Downing white wine, the polo-playing Zimbabwean mouthed off about his royal duties with the Household Cavalry.

"We are the Queen's bodyguards. We're going to Windsor next week because the President of India is coming," he said. "We'll pick up the Queen and whoever it is and take them to Buckingham Palace."

"She's in the Palace today and she's going to Windsor on Friday," Mundawarara added, leaking her itinerary. The disloyal guardsman then gave his verdict on his employer: "She's definitely doddery - definitely not totally with it."

He told our couple he trained to command tanks alongside Prince Harry three years ago - and said he even warned him to curb his drinking because driving a tank "is not so easy with a hangover". Mundawarara then led our reporters through the famous Horse Guards arch towards his flat in an imposing building. "You see the top floor, that's my bedroom," boasted Mundawarara. The officer took our reporters to the stables where he posed with his horse, York.

Before long they reached the front door of his flat which carried a gold plaque saying Captain The Queen's Life Guard. Inside the walls were adorned with paintings of horses and officers.

Mundawarara took our couple into his bedroom where his red tunic was on a stand beside his riding boots and near his white plumed helmet. But our reporters made their excuses and left. Later an Army spokesman told us: "We are investigating this incident. A Buckingham Palace spokesman said: "We will investigate any issues relating to the security of The Queen."

original article here

Surf Porn at Work? Get Fired.

By Howard Levitt

The Internet enables people to watch more pornography than ever before, even at work. However, despite its rising popularity, it hasn't become any more acceptable to the mainstream and is often part of sexual harassment in the workplace.

Bad taste makes the day go by faster. --Andy Warhol

When business was slow, Greg Backman, a supervisor at Maritime Paper Products, would surf sex sites on his office computer up to three hours a day. The company never complained Backman was gratifying himself instead of performing his job. Neither did any of the people he supervised. On the contrary, the company was satisfied with the job he was doing.

It kept giving him raises and excellent reviews. Backman must have truly been talented to get his work done while surfing the Web for sex for hours a day. The company, like many employers, had an "Acceptable Use Policy" for work computers. Surfing for sex sites wasn't one of them. At the same time, it was aware of Backman's habit.

Several years earlier, he was warned to stop watching pornography at work or he would be fired but no one ever followed through on the warning. His great ratings continued. The company finally pulled the plug when a woman from the company's Manager of Information Services complained. Her job was to monitor everyone's computer use which required her to look at the images on Backman's computer, most of which were explicit images of young women engaged in sex acts. She told the company she found the images highly offensive. Maritime immediately fired Backman.

The court sided with the company. Justice McLellan of the New Brunswick Queens Bench stated, by displaying sexual images on his work computer, Backman was sexually harassing the woman in Information Services. In law, Maritime had a duty to protect her. It could not permit Backman to surf pornographic sites at work if it meant female co-workers would see it and be offended. Besides, Backman was warned and knew the risk he was running.

The company did the right thing by firing Backman because he placed the company at risk to be sued by the woman in Information Services for allowing him to sexually harass her. The lessons for employers are clear:

- Pornography in the workplace is not harmless entertainment. If an employee views pornography on a work computer, the employer may have cause for termination.

- If other employees are, in the course of their job, forced to see another employee's pornography collection, it can lead to claims of sexual harassment.

- Employers should make it clear to all employees that work computers cannot be used to view pornography or any material that might offend other employees. This protects the employer from claims it permitted sexual harassment and strengthens the employer's hand in firing employees that refuse to stop.

Howard Levitt, counsel to Lang Michener LLP, is an employment lawyer who practises in eight provinces and is author of several texts, including The Law of Dismissal for Human Resources Professionals, recently released.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE POST HERE

Warning! Beckstead: Sick Christmas Santa on the Prowl

Warning

Please avoid all contact if you see this man pictured below, dressed as Santa at a Christmas function, office party or mall near you this Christmas. He is a very cunning and conniving sexual predator who makes it his business to con & get close to unsuspecting young women (sometimes grandmothers) and their young children by playing his "I am a good guy" persona. Being "Santa" is one of his ways to get his foot in your door!

Douglas Beckstead is 50 years old, morbidly obese and tall with heavily greying, brown hair. He usually covers his face with a natural full beard at this time of the year. He wears bifocals most of the time. He lives in Anchorage, Alaska but travels extensively!

This predator knows how to put on the charm and charisma for attention, he craves the adoration and attention that playing Santa gives him. It also gives him easy access to young children and teens, he can touch them without their permission or yours.

Douglas Beckstead is a known online sexual predator & cyberpaths who has trawled the internet for many years, searching carefully for vulnerable targets. His eyes may appear kind in the beginning but please beware he is anything but.

He has a history of sexually & emotionally accosting vulnerable women and children both online and in the many local towns and cities he has ventured into over the years.

He has and will use his career or certain reputable forums to try to prove he is "trustworthy" and "respected." This is a lure, don't fall for it.

If this man approaches you or your children get away as fast as you can - please report anything suspicious to your local law enforcement agency - he is already well known to most of them.

Douglas Beckstead is a chameleon for the cause (HIMSELF) - from dressing up as the Easter Bunny at Easter time to his latest stint. Whilst working over in Iraq, earlier this year on assignment as a visiting historian; working for the Elmendorf Air Force Base. Beckstead had to wear a similar uniform to the real soldiers in order to "blend in". He used this and "blurred the lines" between his actual career and theirs. In other words, he was posing and alluding that he was as an actual soldier and had been "deployed" whilst trying to lure in more unsuspecting targets, when he has never been enlisted in the military. Take a look at his picture -- the military would never deploy someone that obese!

He does things like this for his narcissistic fix, to gain your attention and empathy - he feeds off of it.

Please scroll down and read a letter he sent to one of his numerous targets back in 2005 whilst he was playing Santa in the town of Fairbanks, Alaska. It certainly raises alarm bells.

Remember this man travels to prey and con - don't be his next target of choice.

For further information and full details - emails and the many cons and ploys that this predator and others similar to him inflict upon their victims please feel free to browse through the list of names of the Currently Exposed Cyberpaths on the right side of this site.

Fr further information on Beckstead go to: predatoralert07.wordpress.com/

Stay Safe this Christmas,
Former Victims of Beckstead
~~~~~~~~~~

>From: "Doug Beckstead"
Subject: Santa
>Date: Sun, 11 Dec 2005 18:12:19 -0900
>
>
>Okay, here are pictures from this afternoon. I'm including three of them. (EOPC is showing the one photo mentioned LAST)
>One has Sparkles and I (she's the clown who owns the Party Palace Shop and offered me the job). One is of me with my beard done up. This year I just used white grease paint instead of the spray paint stuff I've used in the past. (really healthy for the babies & chidren to breath in) I think it worked better and it comes out easier in the shower with
>hot water and shampoo. No more double and triple washes. And finally is a"portrait" of Santa. Alyeska hired a professional photographer to come and shoot their pictures. He used my camera and got a couple of me alone. (proof of the narcissist within - and a lure to string along more targets)

>These really look nice! One of the best ones he got was of me holding a newborn baby. She had a little Santa suit on, complete with a matching hat and even had her toes painted red. (he's getting too excited about this) She started crying (because she could sense danger) at first so her aunt stuck a bottle in her mouth and that shut her up. She'd pull it out quickly and the photographer shot a shot. In one of them she looks like she's sleeping and I'm sort of looking at her. It is really precious. Unfortunately I won't be getting a copy of it. But I think I'm going to try and find out if I can get one. (Thankfully for this family the photographer turned him down)
>
>So, here's this year's photos. I don't think I'm going to take my camera with me to the store (he usually does but is relying on the photographer this year). It's just one more thing that I have to keep track of so I don't want to mess with it.(not when he has so many targets, chidren & their parents to mess with)

>Oh, one thing I did figure out though, I kept my Levi's on under the Santa suit. I'll be able to simply take off the suit, change my shirt (my t-shirt gets totally soaked with sweat because the suit is really hot) and run a comb through my hair. (Smelly) I'll put a ball cap on after that so it doesn't look like I'm totally sweated up. That way I can enjoy some of the
>party, at least at the end of it. (Can't miss a beat, not with so much prey to trawl for)
>
>Well, here they are!
>
>Doug
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>Quando omni flunkus moritati.
>(stolen by Beckstead from Canada's RED GREEN SHOW - never an original thought!)
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ONE MORE WARNING: BECKSTEAD IS CURRENTLY TROLLING FACEBOOK. One of his enablers who is clueless as to Beckstead's true pathological nature is one of his 'Friends.' Basically a cover!

REMEMBER:

ONLINE PREDATORS DO NOT JUST TARGET
TEENS & CHILDREN.

CYBERPATHS TARGET OTHER ADULTS WITH SIMILAR DEVASTATING RESULTS. Don't let Beckstead or his kind LURE YOU IN with their "GOOD GUY" B.S.!!

Beckstead: Preying on Who Next?