This was first posted in November 2005.
A good example of - GOOGLE EVERYONE YOU MEET ONLINE - no matter what! And stay away from ALL ONLINE DATING and NEVER get involved with someone you meet online (pen pals, reunion, chat, support) EVER!
Nathan Ernest Burl Thomas Jr
aka Nathan E. B. Thomas Jr
Nicknames: T, Grizzlybear, SunTzu (and God knows what else)
(from November 2005)
is just another con man/ predator, out there on the Internet.
(NOTE: Thomas tends to prey on women (foreign or financially strapped) who seem to have no recourse when he makes up some fantastic story (his CLASSIC is being on a special mission for the CIA) and disappears on them when they find our or question him. )
One of his victims speaks:
I am divorced. After my divorce from an abusive man I was devasted but I was free. I work for the government in my country and I was busy enough at my job to allow me to have a full life. I was not looking for another relationship nor did I want to get involved. (Cyberpaths love a challenge!)
One day, I make the greatest mistake of my life (I know it now)! I posted a profile on a PenPal site (not a dating site) to practice my English and meet new people which seemed innocent.
I didn't want to date, I just wanted someone to talk with - from a distance (Predators LOVE complicated situations!). It was the summer of 2001 and I forgot about it because I got no responses.
Then in January 2002, I had one e-mail message, saying something like "I am an American citizen, currently living and working in Germany and if you want, you can write to me. I'm 49 years old and widowed."
I read this but I didn't immediately reply. A week later, the same person wrote again saying "well you must have so many e-mails that you don't have the time to write me" (I think now this was some kind of trap). (YEP! making you feel GUILTY!) I wrote him back saying that I was busy with work and that was the reason I couldn't reply before. To make a long story short, we eventually started to write each other.
He told me he was a widower. He told me his "wife" Felicia, died of cancer some years ago. He had three children (one daughter and two boys, all grown up).
According to him, his daughter (Cindy) was in the military in Korea and the other two sons were in the US. He told me he had grandchildren. He presented himself as deeply suffering from being lonely and still broken up about his "sainted wife's" death. (TYPICAL SOB story to lure in a good & compassionate person)
Just what can too much empathy do in the hands of a psychopath? It can keep her tied to the relationship way past the point of sanity. ...she has a steadfast connection to the psychopath that is not easily broken. This steadfast connection is what confuses her family and even her therapist.
Any psychopath can use his own sad history to hook her into his long term plans for her by playing the empathy card. Feeling for his personal situation and even “sensing” that he is disordered can pull the heart strings to keep her there.
Sandra Brown, MA - WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS
I am a very big hearted and trusting person and I felt huge sympathy for this man. He told me he was in Stuutgart (Germany), in the military. In March 2002, he told me he wanted to meet me personally because (his words) I "seemed very nice and beautiful." He told me my "eyes in my photo were really beautiful. Your face could be on a magazine cover." (RED FLAG!)
That April, he came to my country and we met. Like what he presented online, he acted like a real gentleman! Intelligent and caring at the same time with a vast general background. We were just friends and while he was visiting nothing happened between us other than talking and getting to know one another as friends.
Then, a second meeting came and this time was different: I got emotionally & romantically lured in by this man! Afterwards, we met a lot and he always treated me like a gentleman; very caring. He was spending a lot of time and money to be with me. He gave me several presents. One of them was really expensive: a laptop computer! He inferred he got a deal through the military (probably with spyware on it to track everything you were doing & writing)
This happened over a period of three years and in spite of some red flags here and there, I was blind enough to give him my trust, heart, body and soul. Many times he told me: "I don't know how will my daughter react if she suspects I have found someone in my life. She is still very "stuck" to her mother's memory." (another typical Predator move - always leaving themselves an out while seeming SO NOBLE!)
His "late wife" was supposedly perfect. She "was Puerto Rican and very beautiful." One day he sent me "her" photo, and, oh boy, she was really pretty! Very well dressed and charming. (Wonder whose photo it really was? Another girlfriend?) Once, he told me a story how she cried when he had to leave her for so many months. I still remember his words saying she couldn't hold back the tears and how it broke his heart. "In some ways you remind me of her. You're so alike" - he said. (smack! totally fishing his victim in!)
Men also talked about [ ] other women as a means of inducing insecurity and low self esteem. -Sandra Brown, MA; WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS
(This leaves the women trying HARDER to please them because of these comparisons to the 'other women' in the psychopath's life]
During this time, there were things he told me that didn't make sense. One of them was about his job. He told me he was working for the CIA and military intelligence. (OMG!! These predators LOVE telling this to foreign people - they are so FULL OF IT. If you are told this by anyone -- check it out!)
In November 2002, he told me he went to California to train people to prepare for the U.S. the invasion of Iraq. (It was a lie, later this victim found out he was merely there on vacation). But I made excuses for him and thought perhaps, not being American, I didn't understand.
When the Iraq war started, he told me he was going to be there. I found it strange when during that time he was supposedly in Iraq he was always in touch with me, by e-mail and phone. I found it strange because in the middle of a war and doing lots of "undercover missions" it would be difficult for an active military person to be in touch.
I was surprised but at the same time very happy because he presented it as me always being in his thoughts. He made me think that "he really loved me."
Then, my Godmother had a strange feeling one day and she suggested I call him. I did it and to my surprise he calmly answered his cell phone. Yet when I told him it was me, he started to say "hello, hello, who's on the phone? I cannot hear you..." and he hung up -- as if the telephone connection was bad. (LIE!!) His voice had a VERY nervous tone! (yeah, he was BUSTED!) My Godmother looked at me and told me "I hope I am wrong"!
(Victim's godmother had a gut feeling something was seriously amiss, as did the victim now )
That night he wrote me saying "I couldn't talk to you on the phone because I was waiting for a call which was going to be monitored! I had to ask my men to cut it off." Lots more love words and he apologized. (oh right.... this is classic. He probably spent a couple hours figuring out what to tell this poor victim.) I kept believing him. (He had manipulated her mind to WANT to believe & trust him. It's not your fault - he set you up! ALL CYBERPATHS DO THIS!!)
He was always sending me photos when we were not together. Photos from Heidelberg and lots of castles in Germany. Pictures of himself in Prague, Switzerland and Austria. He also sent me one photo taken outside by a lake in Chiemsee (Germany). He was dressed ceremonially with a medal of decoration. He told me it was the "Saint Barbara award". One of the things I didn't notice in that photo, is that on his left hand he was holding a lady's purse (it was necessary to use special software to see it later). (Other women taking those photos, huh? That's really AUDACIOUS on his part. Classic move.)
We were together in Paris and I can say my "red flag alarm rang" went off big-time there. He usually had his cell phone off and from time to time he turned it on, to check messages. One of those times, he had a voice message. He was close to me and I could hear what seemed the sound of a woman's voice, very nervous and angry. He called this person back and I remember he said "I don't want to listen to that crap again" and suddenly he started to speak an unknown language, maybe Creoule or similar. I know English, French, Portuguese and Spanish and I can spot the other western languages by the sound and phonics. This one was unknown to me.
While he was on that call I said to myself 'I need to go home because this man is lying.' I started to think to myself: why did he rent a car to be with me in Paris if he has his own car?
It sounded strange and after hanging up on his call, he turned to me and said he was having problems with his men working on the ground and he had to return one day sooner. I asked him if he was sure it was related to his work and obviously he answered "yes". (Oh lord what a lying piece of crap!!! either the wife or one of his other women he lured online caught on to his bulldung.) His "undercover missions with his men" were, according to him, very stressful and dangerous, etc... (so was keeping his LIES straight!)
His stories got more & more outrageous: one of his men was killed and that he was feeling guilty for not being there. In the meantime, his daughter was supposedly sent to Iraq. Another time, one of his men was supposedly bitten by a sand viper in the desert, etc... I could add a lot more of his lies but they just got more bizarre as time went on). (Like all internet psychopaths - the lies get more fantastic and bizarre as time goes on)
Then, in November (our last meeting) he told me it was going to be hard to reach him, as he was going to Afghanistan! He told me not to be worried, to live my life normally and keeping writing. As soon as he could, he would get in touch and then I could send him all the letters I had. (Oh puhleeze....)
When Christmas came (without news from him), I decided to call him. It was Christmas Eve. His phone was on voice mail and I left a message. He never answered me back. I found very strange that the phone was on VOICEMAIL while he was supposedly in Afghanistan! It was working, so he could have called me! from Afghanistan! I left another message on New Year's Day. Nothing! (Of course by now, he had twisted this poor victim's normal intelligence and won her over so imagine what strength it took for her to question him)
In the middle of January we could finally talk and he told me: he was living with the tribes of the desert and talked about unveiled women in front of him and the ethical codes of those tribes! He had lost 10 kgs. and they wanted him circumcised and a lot more unbelievable, outrageous things! (this guy is still out walking around among normal people???)
By that time I didn't believe a word and from that moment I started to search for records and I payed for background checks. I wanted to know everything I could about this man.
I found some answers:
- Thomas is married (he got married in Las Vegas/Nevada in 07- August-1995).
He married at the age of 42; (no record of divorce)
- His wife is alive and well and her name is Georgine - they have a house in Texas;
- He stays available (on instant messengers) day and night on the internet (till 4am/ 5am in the morning). I don't know how he can function if he barely sleeps!;
(because he's a predator and he's looking for more non-American, abused women who won't question him after he LOVE BOMBS them, exhausts and hypnotizes & mind controls them -- by then they are hooked and probably grateful for his attentions.... its all a lie)
...one would have to wonder if the psychopath isn’t by nature a little manic-y, requiring less sleep. Almost half of the psychopaths were also hyperactive (which could be the ADHD that is prevalent in psychopathy). - Sandra Brown, MA - WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS
- I believe all the photos he sent me were taken by other girlfriends (Prague, castles, etc.). If he lived in Germany for so many years why does he need to be always touring Europe? One of them was taken by his wife for sure (the one at the lake in Chiemsee);
- Maybe (and I say maybe), he gets explicit photos from his online girlfriends and he may put them on or sell them to some Internet porn site. I thank god because although he tried a number of times to get me to take explicit photos for him, I always said no and I believe this was one of the reasons he was devaluing me and trying to get me to dump him (that way, sociopaths can 1. play the pity card - "she dumped me" and 2. they don't get what they want, they move on quickly - feeling NOTHING);
(He's a perv and these predators always behave as if they are ABOVE REPROACH while asking you for things WAY outside your comfort zone.)
Many of the women experienced sexual damage and negative effects on their sexuality. Having been exposed to deviant sexual practice, humiliated about their sexual performance or bodies, compared to other women, cheated on, and often sexually harmed—most women felt they needed intensive sexual healing in order to overcome the affects of the sexually intimate relationship with a psychopath.
Ironically, many of the women’s stories end with the loss of their moral principles in the relationship. This could be through sexual deviance he asked her to participate in, or asking that she lie, steal, cheat, or in some other way violate her own moral code. By the end of the relationship, she was likely to have become mortified at his immoral behavior and how it took her down a negative path she never intended on.
Sandra Brown, MA - WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS
- He's a retired Seargent Major and at least during 2002 - 2004, he was the Chief of Housing for military and civilian personnel for the 6th Army ASG and dealing with private housing rentals in the South of Germany. He lied about his military involvement.
- I've confronted him but he denies everything. He feels no regret and he blames me for everything since I don't trust him. He tried to tell me I was putting 'him and others at risk' and the CIA would be upset with me. He's not CIA! He's sick! (BLAME SHIFTING OF THE PREDATOR)
He asked me not to harass him (they ALL accuse victims of harassing them. Since when is demanding truth & some honest explanations harassment?).
One of the times I was confronting him online, he pretended he was his son, just to not answer! He doesn't admit the truth even when its right under his nose. At least he could have said "I'm sorry" but he didn't because his lack of feelings and regret. He ran from me and cut me off as soon as he could. (Thomas is obviously a psychopath - no remorse, no conscience, lying, conning, sex addicted)
Sociopaths have no intervening sense of obligation to other people. They will betray whoever is convenient at the moment. They can’t maintain healthy and stable relationships primarily because sociopaths view people as disposable when their usefulness to their needs or agendas runs out, particularly if those people won’t believe their mischief and abuse anymore. The people who were their "best friends" yesterday become their latest project of abuse, harrassment, and emotional torture the next.
To sum up: I was cheated, conned, betrayed by this predator (as is his wife, or wives, or numerous girlfriends)! He faked being a gentleman, helping old ladies, giving money to beggars, faking religiousness & spirituality, being CIA morality and being ethical but its all an act. (and a LURE!)
Sociopaths lack remorse. They have absolutely no sorrow or shame for the things they do wrong and the ways they hurt other people. In fact, more than lacking in remorse, they often justify what they do- if not externally, at least internally. Their efforts at self-justification usually involve whole other layers of hurting others as they lie and falsely report about them to justify their sociopathic behavior.
I will never trust anyone else after this. My heart is closed now and I think I don't want to get to know anyone else. That's enough! I am a decent, honest woman and frankly I didn't deserve this. (no you didn't - no victim did. But good for you for finally listening to your gut and doing a check on this man!)
This man lives in fantasy world. (most cyberpath/psychopaths do) He made up Felicia. Who is the model for this fantasy woman? Is she his children's real mother? The children are aged 32, 29 and 24? What is the truth and what is fiction?? (We doubt even he knows)
You can not judge or pick out a sociopath by their appearance. They look well put together, often charming, and are consumate actors. This is why they are masters at getting regular, normal, healthy people to provide aid and support to their mischief and abuses.
Stout writes, "In a confusing irony, conscience can be rendered partially blind because people without conscience use, as weapons against us, many of the fundamentally positive tools we need to hold society together- empathic emotions, sexual bonds, social and professional roles, regard for the compassionate and the creative, our desire to make the world a better place, and the organizing rule of authority. And people who do hideous things do not look like people who do hideous things. There is no "face of evil."…
We try, consciously or tacitly, to judge a person’s character by his or her appearance, but this book-by-its-cover strategy is ineffective in nearly all cases. In the real world, the bad guys do not look the way they are supposed to."
He apparently has a personality disorder (narcissistic psychopath is what it might be... might be more) and is a pathological, compulsive liar.
His wife needs help, if she is still with him! How can anyone live with a man who fakes love, tells stories about being a CIA spy, about his work and at the same time having lots and lots of online, foreign girlfriends? (good question! she's probably trauma bonded and scared of him)
He is always traveling for his "high level meetings" and I am pretty sure he tells his wife he travels for work! A con man!
I feel so used! A million showers won't clean my body from this snake's touch! A widower? His wife is alive and well and he just got married in 1995!!!!!
He is retired and not active military, NOT CIA and not some spy!
This psychopath is in his fifties. Where is the decency? (There is NONE)
It was three years of my life and I am POSITIVE he is doing it to more women while I'm here alone -- trying to recover from the devastation of him destroying three years of my life -- when I did nothing more than love this 'man' and the subsequent anger of discovering I was lied to, used for sex and manipulated.
NOTE: Preventing these predators from hurting, or defrauding others and stopping them from continuing to hurt their families and themselves is the point of this site. By posting these stories we hope to EDUCATE THE PUBLIC and prevent further pain and fraud by these Cyberpaths.
MORE TO COME