Saturday, August 08, 2009

"..It Was Easy to Con Women"

Maybe the thought of all the Valentine's Day shopping he had to do pushed him over the edge. Or maybe the 19th wife was one too many.

Whatever it was, Oliver John Killeen turned himself in to Toronto police last week, confessing to bigamy.

The 71-year-old told police he has 19 wives. Police say the man has multiple spouses in Canada, England and Ireland, and has never obtained a legal divorce for any of his marriages.

"And that's what we know of. We might still find more," he said. It seems Killeen's a bit of a celebrity across the pond. He was the star of the British documentary "The Conman with 14 Wives." That was five wives ago, by the way.
The psychopath and the stage of his luring are as shallow and phoney as the cut out.

With a complete straight face, he can say one thing and do another, do something and say the opposite, or say and do the opposite of what he did last week. These dichotomies produce serious distress in the women because of the chronic instability in the relationship. As they try to align themselves with his belief system, it shifts. As they try to align with his behaviors or promises, these shift. This constant shifting and moving keeps women off-balance and continuously striving to stabilize the relationship.


Killeen spent three years in a British jail for bigamy in 2004 and was then deported to Canada.

Killeen spoke about his multiple relationships in an interview with an Irish newspaper in 2006.
"I gave women what they wanted. If they were foolish enough to marry me within a few weeks of meeting me that was up to them. They should have asked more questions," Killeen said.

"Conning women is easy. I studied psychology and behaviour patterns. I presented myself as a dashing, suave sort of guy and women fell for it."

'I have a strong personality and an air of total respectability. And, of course, I'm a good lover - that's the sealing factor.'

In that interview Killeen described how he began a "collection of wives" to help care for his family. His second wife only stayed with him for 10 days, so he quickly remarried without waiting for a divorce.

"Getting divorced is costly and time-consuming, so I decided not to bother," he said. Yeah. Who has the time, eh?

Mr. Killeen also gained infamy in Ireland for posing as a celebrity psychologist, using fake degrees to set himself up as Dr. Oliver J. Killeen, PhD. He ran that scam for a while until he was called to testify in court and the prosecutor unravelled his web of lies.

His ability to reinvent himself had proven irresistable to women, he said.

Killian had eight kids from his first marriage in the 70's and another child from another wife.

Some of the wives (those he can remember)

  • Agnes Clooney, Accountant
  • Barbara Daniels, Divorcee
  • Teresa Steele, died 1999 from alcoholism
  • Joyce Smith, Bank Clerk
  • Gail Tuff, Divocee, hanged herself
  • Susan Robertson, School Vice-Pricipal, conned for £100,000
  • Ann Griffin
  • Kathleen Chambers, Widow
  • Margaret Curtin, conned out of £80,000

It seemed too good to be true, and so of course it was. Marriott first signed up with CatholicSingles.com last March 18, determined to make a change in her life, dubious that it could be done online, but willing at least to try.

Killeen responded to her profile on March 19. He called himself Oliver John.

On March 22, he wrote: "Precious Darling Allie, you awakened my soul, you have aroused the mind and body of this old paddy ... dearest Allie until our souls kissed I now know I was in a drifting wasteland ... you have brought the blue into the sky, the song into the birds and the colour of the world has taken on a much more radiant glow."

Their relationship hit a bump a mere two days later. Marriott had received calls on her private line at home from someone in Canada offering her a credit card – if she could provide them with some information. She refused.

Marriott suspected Killeen might have been involved because he had her private number and the caller had addressed her using her nickname, which she never uses for business, but had used with Killeen. She confronted him. He denied any involvement and soon had her begging for forgiveness.

"He puts you on the defensive and you find yourself apologizing," says Marriott.

He wormed his way into her heart by exploiting her weaknesses. After two brief, failed marriages and 25 years of caring for a succession of foster children, including AIDS babies, Marriott was ready for a change in her life, and told Killeen so.

"With me, his play was that ... it's time for somebody to care for you. That had real appeal."

Knowing that Marriott is a big band fanatic, Killeen told her that he was a balladeer who sang with big bands on cruises and in Ireland. He quoted Dylan Thomas and Shakespeare, and Yeats, one of her favourite poets, and introduced her to the writings of C.S. Lewis and philosopher Kahlil Gibran. Just before Christmas, days before his marriage to Lascuola, he asked Marriott to send him some of her lingerie, which she did.

If Marriott liked something, he liked it too, or he knew someone who did. He had a daughter, for example, who liked crafts as much as Marriott does. Yet another operated a medical transcription service similar to Marriott's, he said.

He brought Marriott into his life by asking her to remind him of his doctor's appointments. He discussed his family at length.

"You really felt as though you were an integral part of his daily life," said Marriott.

He was Irish, he was Catholic, he was widowed, he had eight kids. It was the perfect picture as far as Marriott was concerned.

"I gotta say that I fed right into it," Marriott says. "I'm coming to a crossroads in my life, after 25 years of complete dedication to children with a variety of illnesses and needs, I'm looking to reinvent myself. I think I was so excited about the fact that my life might make a change."

There were dark notes. Often he was so sexually explicit it made Marriott uncomfortable, but she says he charmed her into allowing it, and even convinced her to reciprocate, something that embarrasses her today.

When he seemed to vanish in January, Marriott, concerned, began calling around in Canada. Someone told her to Google his name. She was horrified at what she found.

"I felt like my whole entire future was blown to bits, even though I knew realistically and had discussed with friends along the way that in my heart I knew this was probably a fantasy to keep me warm at night but would never materialize. It still blew me out of the water and now, after the fact, it's anticlimactic but I feel once again incomplete and alone."

The sad part, she says, is that now other men seem boring and old in comparison.

"That's his secret, I guess."

Trance produces perceptual biases. That means if the psychopath is telling her wonderful things and she is euphoric with him, she tends to associate wonderful and euphoric things with the memory of him… even after he’s turned into a monster.

While in trance, a woman tends to “cement” what she felt or learned in that state. That’s why it’s so difficult for women to believe he’s a liar, swindler, or cheater because she learned all the wonderful things about him in trance states that have been “cemented” in her memory. If you ask her which sense of him feels “stronger” inside: the memory of herself intensely bonded to him or his cheating, she will say, “the memory of the bonding.”

Even beyond the “cementing” of the sense of him in her memory is another problem with state dependent learning. What is learned in one state (euphoria, happiness, intense sexuality and bonding) may have little influence on the behavior exhibited in a different state. When the woman catches him stealing her life’s savings, the fact of his stealing has little influence on the state dependent learning of him as her lover, the one she bonded with, the one who brings her to euphoria.

State dependent learning also influences motivation and performance. When we wonder why it’s difficult for women to leave psychopaths, the difficulty is connected at least in part, to how trance has affected her state dependent learning of motivation to leave and her actual performance of leaving. This isn’t what she chooses to feel, this is the nature of state dependent learning that often happens in trance states.

A recurring theme in the women’s recovery is related to state dependent learning. Women get stuck because it’s easier to remember the good memories than the bad. The bad memories become distant or murky and when she thinks about him in general, up pops the good stuff and it becomes hard for her to remember why she’s disbelieving him or wanting to leave him.




Killeen is scheduled to appear in court March 24 to answer to the charge of bigamy.

So ladies, if you or anyone you know is married to Oliver John Killian you are asked to contact Toronto police at 416-808-5300 or Crime Stoppers at 416-222-8477.


Thanks to ONE OF SEVEN for this find!

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