A great look at how someone on a religious-oriented site, who portrays themselves as a scripture quoting 'man of God' is actually an Cyberpath trolling the net for vulnerable women for either cybersex, naked pictures or casual sex while using lines like "I love you" and blaming the victim for his cutting & running when he either 1. gets bored or 2. finds better victim(s). - Fighter
Here are some final emails between Darden and his victim
Our comments in dark blue.
-------------- Original message ----------------------
I'm so sorry. I didn't realize I let your hand go. I'm sorry. I didn't feel the connection go but it was a very painful topic. I remember now and I think I got lost in the pain and drowned out everything around me, including you. I didn't realize and I understand your reaction now. Please know I wasn't being dishonest.
I'm not perfect, but I guess I was hoping you could love me, all of me, imperfections and all. But I understand you're unsure of me now. Trust is not something easily rebuilt once it's been lost. So I understand your changed feelings and I'll leave where we go from here up to you. I'll be okay with whatever you decide.
And please know, that whatever works for you, I loved what we had together and I will always cherish and treasure you.
(Don't take the blame!! This is just what he wanted and now he's going to rub it in)
On Mon, Jul 14, 2008 at 10:15 PM,
I love you because I don't see your imperfections. I only saw your heart. Please don't try to make this about me. I didn't change. (It's ALWAYS about you - what a liar!)
I let you in even if was uncomfortable for me. You closed me out. You didn't trust me to understand. I understand pain. I have been understanding towards your pain the whole time. I am in pain also. I never used that as a excuse to shut you out. I never judged you. I accepted you. Did you accept you? Did I get to close to someone that you have not accepted. (Darn you wouldn't send me naked pics or have cybersex with me...!! You must pay!!)
I don't want to force anything on you. Especially not yourself. You are beautiful to me. That is all I could see. (All he could see was free sex!) I just want to put things in perspective. We tried something that I feel you were not ready for. (CASUAL SEX!! and because you have feelings & I don't you didn't go for it. I hadn't brainwashed you thoroughly enough. But hey I am gonna blame you anyway) That is the bottom line.
I feel you want something from me on your terms. I understand if you are not ready. I need you to be honest with me. You say that you have been but you haven't. One example is [dating site]. Please don't see this as me throwing it in your face. I feel that you won't see my point any other way. I am just trying to get to the truth. TRUTH. (you wouldn't know the truth if it jumped on you & bit you)
Now she's trying to end it and not understanding why he won’t give it up and she doesn't get that he’s putting it all on her so he can leave her with a megadose of guilt!! Cyberpaths love to do this... make the victim leave so then they can play VICTIM!! Or make it so bad that if the victim continues to stay they can say "it's THEIR FAULT TOO!!"
Either way he wins. If nobody in the situation is to blame, then there is no way to resolve the problem. If you are to blame, then you must fix it. As for him, he is just an innocent victim and utterly blameless, therefore unable to do anything at all to find a solution, but totally justified in being a sod.
Date: Tue, 15 Jul 2008 03:58:09 +0000
Subject: Re: Seeking forgiveness
Thank-you. I thought I was ready. I wanted to be ready but maybe I wasn't. This may make me mistaken but not dishonest. Maybe neither one of us was ready.
I am not a dishonest person. I wasn't dishonest about the [dating site[. I noticed you were on because at work I kept your profile in my browser and when I was missing you I would go to it. You don't have to be logged on to do that. I should have asked you about it but not asking wasn't being any more dishonest than not telling me about it. It shook my trust but I wanted to believe in you and I felt asking you about it would be wrong. I deleted my account because I believed in us, in you.
I have grown so much and I love myself enough to know what is my truth and to not let others define my truth for me. I accept me. I accept me now because I see myself as Christ sees me. I see myself through my Father's eyes and I know that I am beautiful. That I am strong. That I am worthy because of my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ and for no other reason. I know that I am worthy to give and to receive love. So if you want to believe I'm dishonest that's okay because what you believe about me can't change God's reality. And that's the TRUTH. (cough cough... Using God to dump all over her.)
Narcissists I've known also have odd religious ideas, in particular believing that they are God's special favorites somehow; God loves them, so they are exempted from ordinary rules and obligations: God loves them and wants them to be the way they are, so they can do anything they feel like -- though, note, the narcissist's God has much harsher rules for everyone else, including you.
I let you in as well. And now I release you. I know, that if you're honest, you want this to end so I will make it easy for you and say goodbye. As I said before, whether you want to believe me or not, I loved what we had together and I will always cherish and treasure you. You have such a blessed ministry. May God continue to bless you and may you continue to prosper. I hold no ill feelings towards you. Thank-you for loving me and for leading me to a place where I could finally love and accept myself. I pray the same for you.
(poor girl hadn't figured out yet she was talking to a PATHOLOGICAL PREDATOR and her words were wasted. He was playing games and enjoying watching her twisting!)
Good morning XXXXXXX,
I will always love you. (BARF!)
As I have said before I got to meet someone who I was able to fall in love with. It is my feeling that the person has retreated back deep inside of you. This is a change that I can not adjust to. I can be on the surface with any one and several ones at the same time. I am looking for someone that I can get deep with. I sense a change in our relationship. I sense a change in you. That is the truth. That is my truth. I would like for you to respect it. If you can not then do with it what you will.
(Oh spare us Darden... the only thing you want to get deep with is someone's intimate parts)
Our communication through these past email makes it very clear to me that we have lost something in our communication. You are saying that you don't see it. You don't feel it. If it only exist in my heart then that is what I have to go on. (She lost nothing Darden... you just played her for a fool!)
I am so happy for you that you have found so much beauty in yourself. I hope that I had something to do with that. Regardless I am happy for you. You have always been strong in God. Stay strong in yourself. Thank you for releasing me. I truly think that is what I need. I can't find what I once found to be just for me. I too love what we shared but it is not the same. I remember the good and I chose to take the good with me. The sun rises and the sun set to rise again and again another glorious day.
God bless you and keep you forever. (oh we feel SICK!)
Darden signs his name again, only once in future correspondence. He never again uses her name. He's objectified, devalued & discarded her and let's it show!
---- Original message ----
I've had time to reflect and you are right. We attempted something I wasn't ready for. I am still struggling with low self-esteem, low self-worth, and not fully accepting myself. So although I thought I had accepted your love, I guess deep down I still questioned your motives because I couldn't understand how you could love someone like me. This is something I can now see and will continue to work on. I accept your need to move on and find someone to love and to love you how you deserve to be loved. And I thank-you. I would still like to be your friend if you will have me. If not, I understand.
(Oh no - here it comes:
You will never be cured of contact with them if you don't face this unpleasant fact about them. They don't love you. They don't love anyone. They can't.
Lamb, you are as lovable as can be, but the Wolf doesn't love you. He doesn't dare let himself love you, or he'd starve. Correction: he does love you – for lunch.
Sent: Tuesday, 15 July, 2008 9:40 AM
Subject: Re: Good morning
You are worthy you are worthy you worthy!!! Why? God has made you worthy by what His Son has already done. We believe Him and that makes us worthy. If I give a gift and it is received with doubt the gift's effect is reversed so it is no longer a gift but a curse.
I can't move on right now. My heart is with you. It is with your heart. I have been calling you to a safe place away from danger and you don't trust me. That doubt has caused you to remain in danger. How does that make me feel? Like my love means nothing. I love you.
(GAG US!!!! Blame shifting -- blame shifting -- it doesn't end with this predator)
It was this last one that really shook his victim up. Because:
The night before sending the video to end our ‘relationship,’ he told me he doesn’t usually last long in relationships and he has a problem with women. He also made it quite clear he does not like psychiatrists – he told me he used to see one because he would ‘hurt’ people -- RED FLAG As part of his seduction, he recommended movies for me to watch, two were love stories (Daddy’s Little Girls and Why Did I Get Married) and one was about a man with psychological problems who hates psychiatrists (Rain on Me) Teaching her not to question him!! We exchanged pictures and some of the new pictures he sent me he also posted on the dating site. That’s what I saw when I came across his profile – nicely updated with photos I thought were meant for only me! He said he used to be addicted to porn and used to have a problem with lust