WHO ARE YOU REALLY DATING?

WHO ARE YOU REALLY DATING?
BY MARY DONNELLY
(Mary Donnelly is a high school teacher who lives in West Islip, NY)

Just this past week, as I was about to cancel my Match.com membership for the third time, I received a "wink" from someone who looked like the kind of man I'd like to meet. He was 25, according to his online profile, and moderately attractive, with wavy brown hair and dark eyes. I checked to see if he met my criteria for dating. Is he taller than I? Yes. Does he have a job? Yes. Is his income comparable to mine? Yes. Is he a smoker? No. He's a Mets fan - bonus! He's a middle school teacher - score!

I then came across a word that made me uncomfortable: "divorced." I mulled this over, trying to decide whether it was a deal breaker. But then, I thought, who's to say that his divorce means that something's wrong with him?

I e-mailed him, and we proceeded to carry on a cyberconversation for a few days. We talked about teaching, the Mets, our favorite foods, our favorite colors. I was about ready to send him my phone number and suggest a quick coffee date when a surprise e-mail arrived - not from him, but from his wife. It read, "He is still married - not separated - MARRIED."

Horrified, I did not respond. The next day, clearly having gotten inside Match.com, she sent me another e-mail, asking that I forward my correspondence with her husband. By then she had edited his online dating profile to include a bulleted list that described her husband as a cheating, back-stabbing liar. In another area of his profile, she posted a photograph of the two of them in happier days: his down-on-one-knee marriage proposal.

Underneath another long list of grievances, including the fact that he's really a guy with "a few extra pounds" rather than "athletic and toned," she wrote, "Now, he will be divorced."

I was jarred by this audacious invasion of privacy, but I was also grateful that the wife contacted me before I had met her husband in person. Who knows where that relationship could have gone ... and more importantly, how long it might have taken me to learn the truth?

The same week, I read Newsday's cover story about police officer Michael Valentine's alleged cyberstalking. Valentine allegedly met a woman on Match.com, dated her for a while and then retaliated after she rejected him by getting into her Match.com profile, assuming her online persona and humiliating her. If only she'd had somebody to warn her (assuming it's all true), "Watch out, this guy is not too stable."

Incidents like these make it hard not to wonder if I set myself up for danger as well as disappointment by using Match.com. How can I know if the profiles are true? If I meet someone I like, do I have to worry that he's maintaining his account behind his wife's back? If things don't work out, will I have to worry about him stealing my password and cyberstalking me?

On the other hand, it's foolish to assume that "traditional" dating is any safer. I haphazardly met the last man I dated in Penn Station. He was also a total stranger, and is probably just as capable of stalking as anyone I could possibly meet online. So what gives?

Although Match.com is probably the most popular dating site, others offer more ways to learn about your prospective date without having to become a hacker. On Friendster.com and Myspace.com, every person has a group of "friends" displayed on his or her profile page. If someone looks interesting, it's not hard to find out background information by clicking through his "friends list" and either contacting friends by e-mail or at least seeing what kind of people the friends seem to be.


All of this is enough to make me consider retreating into a hidey-hole free from dating altogether. But then I consider the alternative.

As for my "divorced" friend, I never sent the correspondence to the wife. (That didn't seem ethical to me, and I could just imagine myself called to testify at their divorce hearing.) I didn't want any more to do with either of them, so I adjusted the blocking options on my computer and reported the situation to Match.com's abuse team. They responded a few days later: "We have been made aware of this issue and have taken the appropriate action on the reported account."


I'm happy to get away from this mess, but I wonder if I did the right thing. Was Match.com's "appropriate action" in the best interest of the suitor's wife, or of her cheating husband? It seems a lot to have to worry about just for trying to find a companion in life.

ORIGINAL STORY HERE

ANOTHER FEMALE CYBERPATH

ANOTHER FEMALE CYBERPATH

CLICK HERE

KEITH P. CLIVE WAXES POETIC * MANIPULATIVE

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MySpace Invader

MySpace Invader
A police detective shows teens and their parents that
they're not as safe on MySpace as they think

By Rob Stafford -- Correspondent -- NBC News



MIDDLETOWN, CONN. - He says his name is Matt - it's not. He says he's new to town - he's not. And he says he's 19 - not even close.

But that's how he portrays himself to the kids "befriending" him online on the social networking site, MySpace.com.

Would your child let a stranger into his or her online world?

The fictitious cyber teen known as "Matt" was created as an experiment and his instant popularity revealed to one small town just how vulnerable its children are.

When MySpace was launched in 2003, it functioned mostly as a forum for musicians, a speed-of-light way for bands to spread the word out about their music for bands - like the new group Quietdrive, who has received more than half a million downloads on MySpace before even releasing its first single.

"It's made all the difference in what we do," says Kevin Truckenmiller, Quietdrive lead singer. "It's helped us promote for virtually free."

Not surprisingly, MySpace caught on like wild fire with kids. Even the pop culture figures they love use the site to reach fans.

There are lots of other social networking sites like Facebook and Xanga, but MySpace is the giant among them, boasting more than 60 million users. It attracted media mogul Rupert Murdoch’s eye. Last summer, he bought the site for $580 million.

At its best, MySpace is a place where users keep in touch with friends and express their creativity by designing personalized profiles. It has almost replaced the telephone for after school gossiping.

Rachelle: It's just a fun way for friends to talk.
Brittany: There's like music and stuff on there that I listen to on a daily basis.
Amber: To me, it is, sort of like my life.

But MySpace also has a hidden danger. Police say predators troll the site, and others like it, looking for vulnerable children, sometimes very young ones. Even though the site's rules require users be at least 14, on MySpace it's easy to pretend: even preteens are making profiles and can be among the targets.

"This Web site is a sexual predator's dream and a parent’s worst nightmare," says Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal. Blumenthal says he's been inundated by calls from schools and parents angry about the site.

But there is one community in his state that has been hit hardest: Middletown, Connecticut. Earlier this year, seven teenage girls there contacted police in the course of just 5 weeks saying they were sexually assaulted by men they met through MySpace.

The police and several local schools have made a huge push to try to educate residents. They’ve put on Internet safety seminars and workshops that teach parents how to navigate MySpace.

So if any town should have its guard up, you'd think it would be Middletown. But that's not what a local police officer found when he decided to test just how cautious the teenagers around here were. Dateline was invited to see first hand how the experiment would unfold.

"19-yr-old Matt" is actually Detective Frank Dannahey. He came up with "Matt," who just moved to town. Like many MySpace users, he used an anime cartoon character instead of a photograph. Matt's a baseball fan, he plays pool and loves his iPod.

Dannahey began contacting Middletown teens through their MySpace profiles, writing that he was new to the community, and asking them to add him to something called their "friend list."

Det. Frank Dannahey: It quickly became apparent that I could get all kinds of friends. It was just that easy. Within less than a two week period, I have over 100 friends online.
Rob Stafford, Dateline correspondent: More than 100 friends?
Det. Dannahey: And that’s not even being aggressive. I mean if I had some devious intents, I think I could have hundreds of friends in that period of time.

Here's how MySpace works: anybody can create a profile and anybody with a computer can visit that page. Users under 16 have their profiles set to "private" by MySpace.com as a way of blocking instant access. If you, the visitor, want more information, you can ask to be accepted as a "friend." Once you're a "friend" nothing is private. And accumulating friends on MySpace is a badge of honor. "Matt" made lots of them, getting easy access to many "private" pages.

Stafford: You’re getting the phone numbers and addresses?
Det. Dannahey: Real names.
Stafford: Real names.
Det. Dannahey: Real dates of birth.
Stafford: Where they go to school.
Det. Dannahey: Where they go to school. What grade they're in.
Stafford: After school activities?
Det. Dannahey: Anything you'd wanna know. If I was a parent, I don't think I could hire a private investigator to get me more information than these kids are giving out on their Internet pages.

Some of "Matt’s" new online pals asked him a few questions before accepting him as a "friend." But about half let him in no questions asked. Many got into online chats with him, and it didn't take long for one girl to post one of the most dangerous responses that could be made to a stranger online.

It’s a parent's dreaded scenario.

These 3 moms are about to see for the first time how their daughters have interacted online with the so-called "new kid" in town. Luckily for the mothers of Amber, Rachelle and Brittany, new guy "Matt" is really a police officer conducting an experiment.

Rob Stafford, Dateline correspondent: This is your daughters' friend, who they think is 19-year-old Matt.

Amber’s mom was the first to peer into her daughter’s MySpace profile.

Stafford: What did you find out about Amber?
Det. Dannahey, who posed as “19-year-old Matt” on MySpace: Let’s look at her page.

15-year-old Amber has a private page, but Det. Dannahey says, after she asked just a couple of questions about where he lived and went to school - she allowed him onto her profile. Once he was on, he quite easily found a lengthy survey Amber had completed. In it was reams of personal information such as her favorite TV show, actor, the music she listens to, even her favorite hobby. These likes and dislikes may sound harmless but according to Dannahey they're just the kind of details a predator collects to try to forge a bond with a child.

Det. Dannahey: As you could see, 377 questions is every possible thing that you’d wanna know about a teen.
Stafford: Did you have any idea that Amber was putting that kind of information?
Amber's mom: No, not at all. I knew she was on MySpace, but I didn’t know anything like this. I don’t believe it.
Stafford: How hard do you think it would be for someone to find your daughter?
Amber's mom: Not hard at all.
Det. Dannahey: If I was a predator, and I’ve worked with - you know, talking to those guys online and knowing what they do - this is the kind of information somebody could pull up in front of your house and ring your door bell.
Stafford: Do you think she understands the potential danger of this?
Amber's mom: No. No, very naive.

Now it was Rachelle's mom's turn. Her first surprise was that her daughter still had a profile on MySpace.

Rachelle's mom: We had a conversation with her last year and told her she needed to delete her profile, watched her delete her profile. She obviously put another up.
Stafford: She’s tenacious.
Rachelle's mom: She is. She’s a very bright child.
Stafford: Who has some explaining to do?
Rachelle's mom: Yeah, definitely.

At first glance, 15-year-old Rachelle's page looked fairly safe. She said she was from Germany and didn't include her last name. But that didn’t stop one of her friends - in this case, Amber - from using Rachelle's full name in a message posted on her site.

Det. Dannehy: Is that your last name?
Rachelle's mom: Yes.
Det. Dannahey: So now you have a picture, and a name to match that.

Again, it may sound like a small thing. But according to Dannahey a photo and a full name are the basic essentials in a predator's toolkit.

And there was something worse: When Det. Dannahey's online alter ego asked to be allowed onto Rachelle's private page, she let him on without asking a thing. Once on he could see that all of her friends are from Middletown, raising doubts about her living in Germany. What's really frightening, like Rachelle’s other 250 "friends" he now got her bulletins - messages that MySpace users create that go to all of their friends.

And one set off an alarm for Dannahey. Rachelle sent out a bulletin that included, "We're gonna walk to Taco Bell and KFC." Rachelle sent what she likely thought was an innocent note to her friends about a walk they were going to take to Taco Bell and KFC.

Det. Dannahey: Of course if I'm sitting home at my computer and I now get this bulletin and I know it's in real time and I guess if I wanted to get in my car and had indication where you live, I could kind of intercept them there.

Odds are that information isn't going to fall into the wrong hands. Now that she’s seen her daughter’s profile, Rachelle's mom understands how dangerous this could be.

Rachelle's mom: Yeah, who else is she talking to? And who else is she doing this with and putting these notes out there, not even thinking about the fact that somebody could just take advantage of that.

Finally, Brittany's mom. And she has to confront something very disturbing about her daughter’s online life.

Det. Dannahey: As you can see, I have quite a few messages from --
Brittany's mom: From Brittany?

Of the three girls, 16-year-old Brittany interacted online the most with Det. Dannahey's fake persona. He showed her mom a comment he found deeply troubling. In a note to "Matt," Britanny said, "We should meet up sometime."

Det. Dannahey: If you read that line, that would be --
Brittany's mom: That's scary. I had no idea that that was there. She wants to meet with him. Oh my god. And we talked about it. And she told me she was on private. You know, we’ve talked about it. "There’s no information on there. She would never, ever meet anybody ever. Ever."
Det. Dannahey: I think she trusted me.
Brittany's mom: But she trusted you enough to meet with you. And I feel I’m a protective mother, because I really know where she is pretty much all the time. I mean I'm shaking. I feel like I'm gonna - I don’t know. I'm scared. I'm really scared.
Rachelle's mom: I just feel sick to my stomach, really sick to my stomach, because you know you talk to your kids and you trust them. But you can't trust anyone else.
Det. Dannahey: No, and I'm sure I could re-enact this same experiment probably any town anywhere in America and get the same results.
Brittany's mom: Oh yeah. Definitely.
Rachelle's mom: This is the most precious thing in my life, and I feel like it could just be ripped right out from my hands in the blink of an eye. And I wouldn't have even known it was going on.

Just as their meeting was breaking up, Det. Dannahey noticed he was receiving a new message online. And now Brittany's mother found herself in the unique position of looking over "Matt’s" shoulder as he conversed with her 16-year-old daughter.

Stafford: Did you know Brittany was online right now?
Brittany's mom: No, she should be in bed.

And what does she read? A goodnight message she can't believe her daughter wrote.

Stafford: (reading Brittany's computer message) "I'll talk to you later. Hugs."

"Hugs." And remember that's directed at a guy Brittany's never met, which makes it especially upsetting to her mom.

Stafford (to Brittany's mom): To see this happening live right in front of you?
Brittany’s mom: It's scary actually. It's really scary.

It was an alarming evening for the mothers but just wait until their daughters get the wake-up call the next morning.

Det. Dannahey: They love to take photos of themselves. Predators just must go out of their minds for the fact that they have these sites where they get all this information.

Detective Frank Dannahey is about to introduce himself to three unsuspecting teenagers - Brittany, Rachelle, and Amber. They're the girls who struck up a cyber friendship with his fake persona "Matt." And their moms are all in favor of the face-to-face meeting.

Rachelle's mom: I hope it's a wake up call.
Amber's mom: Yeah, they need a scare, I think.

But first we asked Amber, known online as "Ambercitaaa," Brittany, a.k.a "pretty girl with a knife" and "Rachelle" how well they thought they were protecting themselves.

Stafford: Do you take precautions to protect yourself from predators?
Amber: Yeah.
Stafford: What do you do to be safe?
Rachelle: You don't put, like, your full name out there. You know, where you live. I don't add people I don't know. I don't, you know, talk to people I don't know.
Stafford: So you're careful?
Rachelle: Yeah.
Stafford: So do you post personal information?
Amber: There's no way I would.
Stafford: Name, address, phone number?
Amber: Like I say my name's Amber. But that’s all I say.
Stafford: Brittany?
Brittany: If people, like, talk to me that I don't know, then I just - I just don't talk to them.
Stafford: You would know someone was trying to con their way into your life.
Brittany: Yeah. I'd know it.
Stafford: There's a guy in town named Matt who has a MySpace page. What do you know about him?
Amber: Does he have a cartoon for a picture?
Stafford: I think so.
Amber: And he's a college student.
Stafford: Tell me about him. What do you know about him?
Brittany: I went to his MySpace, and I saw that a lot of like people that I know had him as their friend. So I just like added him. And I was like "okay."

Now it was time for a big surprise for the three teens.

Stafford: Would you like to meet Matt? He’s out in the hallway.
Detective Dannahey walks in.
Rachelle: Hello.
Det. Dannahey: Hey, Brittany.
Brittany: Hi.
Det. Dannahey: How are you?
Brittany: Good.
Det. Dannahey: Hey, Rachelle. Hi, amber. Nice to meet you.
Amber: Nice to meet you.
Det. Dannahey: I'm Matt.
Stafford: What do you think?
Rachelle: Do you have a badge?
Amber: Oh, god. You have a badge.
Stafford: "Matt" is actually Detective Frank Dannahey. Surprised?
Brittany: Never would have thought.
Stafford: No idea?
Brittany: No idea.
Stafford: Did you believe Matt was really 19?
Brittany: I actually believed it.
Rachelle: When he walked in, I was like. It’s true. You can be deceived easily.

The girls were willing to admit that much, but were quick to say that they hadn't revealed anything to this stranger.

Stafford: You don't think you gave him any private information?
Amber: No. I don't believe I did.
Stafford: But what did you find out about Amber?
Det. Dannahey: Her real name. Your birthday. And you have a 377-- question survey in your page
Amber: Oh! I forgot about that.
Det. Dannahey: ... which if I really was a predator, that would be just the kind of information that could maybe years ago, take me months talking to you to get that kind of information.
Stafford: Did you realize you'd given up that much information to someone you didn't know?
Amber: No. I actually didn’t really. But that was my first survey that I've ever done before. And like it looked cool. And it was like - it took me an hour to do. I was really proud of myself.
Stafford: What did you find out about Rachelle?
Det. Dannahey: Rachelle sends a lot of bulletins.
Rachelle: Those are fun.

Remember the bulletin Rachelle posted that showed the time she wrote it and spelled out where she and her buddies were headed? We reminded Rachelle about that.

Stafford: On the bulletin you said exactly where you were gonna go with your friends.
Rachelle: To Taco Bell.
Amber: That was our conversation!
Stafford: How hard would it be to find you?
Amber: Not that hard.
Det. Dannahey: Plus, your whole full name is on your page.
Rachelle: Where's my full name? (to Amber) Oh, you left me a comment.
Det. Dannahey: (to Amber) Yes. Yes. I, unfortunately, got her name through your comment. So have - knowing that you're from Middletown, Connecticut and knowing your full name. If you're in the phone book, I could probably basically go and ring your doorbell.

And finally Brittany, the girl who offered an online hug and who said she wanted to meet up with Matt.

Brittany: I don't remember it like ever saying "I'm gonna meet up with you." I don't remember saying that. I really don't.
Det. Dannahey: You did. In one of our conversations, early on, you said, "We should meet some time."
Brittany: I really thought you were like one of my - 'cause like Amber and Rachelle said a lot of our friends were on there. So I was just like, "yeah."
Stafford: Do you think you would have met him?
Brittany: I wouldn't go by myself. I'm not that dumb.
Stafford: Did you get to the point where you thought your space was really your space and only you and your friends were looking at it?
Rachelle: Oh, yeah. I thought I was pretty safe. But I'm gonna double-check myself now. I feel less confident.
Stafford: I mean, millions of people do a ton more than you guys do. They put name, addresses, phone numbers, pictures, provocative pictures. You guys don't do that. But he had just a little bit, and he got more.

Experiments like Det. Dannahey's and safety meetings like the one we attended in Middletown are alerting parents that it is their responsibility to be more vigilant.

But how much responsibility should fall on the MySpace company itself? Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumental says - a lot. In February, he met with MySpace executives.

Connecticut Attorney General Blumenthal: I hope and I believe that MySpace will do better. It must do better, or we will enforce the law to require that they do better. My hope is that they will recognize their responsibility and provide a model for other social networking sites.

Three weeks ago, Blumenthal sent MySpace a letter requesting changes such as providing free software for parents that would block MySpace banning users under the age of 16, and hiring independent monitors to report potential illegal activity on the site.

MySpace declined our repeated requests for an interview but told us in an e-mail that it's deeply committed to providing a safe and secure environment for its users and has initiatives to protect them. A third of its staff, about 90 people -- is dedicated to monitoring the site's 63 million profiles for pornography and underage users. MySpace also says it has deleted more than a quarter million underage profiles.

And late Friday, MySpace told Dateline they have appointed a former federal prosecutor to oversee privacy, safety and law enforcement outreach.


Whatever social network your child uses there are easy steps you can take to reduce risks: Monitor your child's profile regularly, keep photos and personal details off, and put your child's computer in an open area.

As for the moms whose three daughters were unwitting subjects in Det. Dannahey's experiment, they say there are no more online secrets in their homes.

Brittany's mom: I didn't even have to ask her. She went right to her MySpace and changed the whole thing.
Rachelle's mom: I actually sat w/ her and had her go through each person that's her friend on MySpace and tell me who they were. So that if she didn't know their name, they came off the friends list.

Their girls say they're grateful for their unexpected lesson in online dangers. They've even joined detective Dannahey’s Internet safety presentations.

So it turns out that for Rachelle, Amber and Brittany, the person they thought was 19 year old "Matt" really is a friend.

2006 MSNBC Interactive
2006 MSNBC.com

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12242009/from/ET/

Readers - remember, PREDATORS do this to VULNERABLE ADULTS. Just because you are an adult does NOT make chat rooms, message boards, reunion sites, penpal sites, networking sites.... just about ANYWHERE online safe. BE SAFE & BE AWARE! - Fighter

Our thanks to OneofSeven for this find!

MySpace, Facebook attract online predators

Experts say be careful what you post online - somebody is always watching
By Pete Williams -- Justice correspondent

Several times a day, Olivia Walker, a California high school sophomore, logs on to a Web site called MySpace.com to keep up with her friends.

"It's a way for them to instant-message," Walker says, "or learn something more about somebody they didn't know previously."


Walker is among the more than 40 million users of MySpace. Their postings are part diary, part photo album, with gossip, favorite music, pet peeves - sometimes even phone numbers and home addresses. And occassionally, revealing pictures.

"You can create relationships on MySpace," Walker says, "or you can create friendships."

It's a huge hit, too, at Newton North High School in Boston, where Andrew Crede is a junior.

"Pretty much most of the kids in my school use MySpace," Crede says. "You put pictures up, you meet girls. You meet guys."


But police nationwide warn that it's not just young people who are searching these immensely popular Web sites. They say potential sexual predators are, too.

A month ago, police in Connecticut arrested a 21-year-old man, accusing him of raping a 14-year-old girl he found on MySpace. On Long Island, investigators say another man found the work address of a 16-year-old girl on one of the Web sites last fall, lured her to a parking lot, and sexually assaulted her.

MySpace declined an interview but warns users never to post any personally identifiable information and says it's determined to provide a safe place for young people.


Facebook, a similar Web site, one especially popular with college students, says it blocks access to outside users not connected to a specific school.

"We protect the viewing of the profile to only students or other people with valid e-mail addresses from those universities," says Facebook's Chris Daly.

Even so, middle and high school principals in Boston, like school administrator Judith Malone Neville, are warning parents to monitor what their children put online.


"They would be presenting themselves as potential prey for people who don't have good intentions at heart," Malone says.

Police and school officials nationwide urge parents to remind their children that when they post their private thoughts online, strangers are definitely watching.

2006 MSNBC.com

(And we remind adults!! PLEASE be careful!! Never post your real name, age, location, pictures of yourself and your children ANYWHERE on the web!! - Fighter)

URL: http://msnbc.msn.com/id/11165576/

One of Keith P. Clive's "Love Bombs"

KEITH P. CLIVE DROPS
A "LOVE BOMB"
(Just one of the "love bombs" Our PREDATOR OF THE MONTH sent to one of his Targets in Europe - an OCEAN away, thousands of miles away - far enough away that this Predator hoped she wouldn't find out the truth, figure him out or turn him in.

If someone you have NEVER MET sends you something like this via email? Run screaming!

Get out your insulin medication - there's enough saccharine in here for a 10 story candy store! - Fighter)

Highlighted in yellow are the NLP - imbedded cues - which basically set off in the Target's mind - how to think, feel and behave towards him (in some case REVERSE what is being said, i.e. cognitive dissonance at work). In short - BRAINWASHING.

From: "Keith P. Clive"
To: Target
Wed, 7 Sep 2005

Dear Keeper of My Heart,

I want your conscience to rest, so do not do what will not allow your conscience to rest. Again, I'm speechless as to what you said below about "betraying" me. No, please have a child IF that's what you BOTH want. No, I'm NOT disappointed that you had an appntmt in July. I don't think that your life began w/ me, & even now I don't think your life revolves around me. I wouldn't want that even if we were married.

Considering that your husband's flirting w/ bankruptcy, 2 kids probably are enough.

When I call you "Keeper of My Heart" do you think that it's just my "sweet nothings"/ "sweet talking"?

No, it's where I am now. I can abide by the new terms, but cannot deny how I really feel. If you accept, I'm giving [actually, have already given] you my heart. My heart feels warmer & safer with you as its keeper. I have no fears that you might betray it. I know it's completely safe in your loving hands. I can't think of any other place I'd rather want it to be.
If there is a God, then you are His bittersweet gift to me. And, often that is the most delicious and unforgettable flavor. I'd rather have tasted that, then never have known it at all.

I've told you that I've lost interest in pursuing other women. (Yes, I know you'll just have to take my word for that one.) But that's how much & how strong a connection and bond I feel. I feel so completely "yours", [Target]

I must confess, the 1st part of my plan is to, somehow, see you in 2007. If then or some other time far off, or not-so-far-off in the future, we can make our dream a reality, then that's what will be. But I won't wait for just time to make things happen. I know you were quite clear about NOT making me any promises & that you really wouldn't be able to risk all, considering all the consequences & pain it would cause everyone, even if finances were NOT an issue. In our teasing we already discovered 1 important difference.

So, perhaps you might not be so enamored w/ me.
But I've wanted children & wife since age 9. If ever the time comes that I might be forced to give my heart to someone else, I'll ask you first. If you allow me to give it, I know that the bond is still there. If you do not allow me to give it, then as much as humanly possible, I'll try remain "yours"; true only to you. I would be honored if you did not want to relinquish my heart to some other woman. If I still give it without your permission, then blame my human weakness, & know that the bond between us will NEVER be broken. As you said, it will always be there.

Forever Your Love,
Keith

Forever, Never, Always.... Remember readers those words? are ABSOLUTES. Usually manipulative and dishonest people (Cyberpaths fit) speak in absolutes to ATTEMPT to anchor their 'reality', their 'feeling' and basically the entire facade they want you to believe. - Fighter

Internet Romance Ends With Death

Jilted French Woman Apparent Suicide
By Jon Jeter -- Washington Post Staff Writer

CHICAGO-That their romance defied distance and logic did not seem to matter to Julie Yasa. She lived in Paris; he, outside Detroit. She was lonely; he was online. His flirtations appeared to her in the middle of the night, words brightening a dark computer screen and her melancholy heart, fastening to something inside her. Photographs were exchanged. Finally, after eight months, they agreed: a tryst.

She arrived in Detroit in March 1999, looking for love. What she found was a one-night stand. They consummated their cyberspace affair at her paramour's apartment, and afterward he dropped her off at a Motel 6, heartbroken and alone. When she reappeared on his doorstep three days later threatening suicide, he wanted no part of her. He handed her a sheet to ward off the March chill, then drove her to the edge of his apartment complex and put her out. "You're not going to commit suicide in my place," he told the woman, according to police. He watched as Yasa walked off toward the thicket behind his suburban home.

Police found Yasa's slightly bruised body a day later, lying face down in the frigid woods where she was left to wander. She had only a credit card and $27 in her pockets. A bed sheet was wrapped around her legs. Three pills lay beside her and police suspect the woman made good on her threats to kill herself. Authorities continue to investigate Yasa's transatlantic trip and her death, and whether her lover played a criminal role in her apparent suicide.

Chances are, police say, that her suitor is a cad, but no criminal. Much as they would like to prosecute him for boorishness, they say, they can only bring charges if they discover that he played a direct role in her suicide.

"He's a very cold-blooded person," said William Dwyer, chief of police in Farmington Hills, a middle-class suburb just north of Detroit. "It's a very cruel and callous person that can look someone in the eye like this, do what he did, and just not give a hoot." (can you spell CYBERPATH aka ONLINE PSYCHOPATH???)

The courtship and death of a young, troubled woman is as ancient as any Greek tragedy but also a coarse and cautionary tale on the dangers of romance in the age of e-mail. "Love is a tough enough thing," Dwyer said. "It just seems like the Internet lends a dangerous edge to it."

Yasa's lover, whom police have not identified, knew she had a history of depression and mental illness and yet financed her trip to the United States, Dwyer said. When immigration officials in New York thwarted her first attempt to enter the country, the man arranged for a smuggler to help her enter through Canada. And when she got to Detroit, he refused to help or love her.

Yasa's body was discovered after the man called police dispatchers Wednesday, pretending to be a passerby who stumbled onto a body in the woods. In the 911 recording, the man described spotting the body from a distance, then explained: "I didn't want to get too close." (he lied to her, he seduced her online, he got her into the U.S., he ****ed her and ditched her? LITERALLY? UGH!!!)

Their courtship began in August 1998, police said. He was 24, a recent college graduate between jobs in the computer industry. She had been treated for depression in France, Dwyer said. Yasa flew from Paris to New York on Feb. 5, 1999 but was not allowed to enter the United States. The reason U.S. immigration agents denied her entry was unclear. Officials at the French consulate here said she was a French citizen and had a valid passport. She returned home to France, and her suitor helped pay for another flight, this time to Toronto. She arrived in the Canadian border town of Windsor on Valentine's Day.

Dwyer said that authorities in Windsor noted Yasa acting strangely and tried, unsuccessfully, to have her committed to a psychiatric ward there. Yasa's paramour in the Detroit area told police that he paid a man to smuggle Yasa into the city on Saturday, Dwyer said. After having sex last Saturday, the man took her to a hotel and left. An employee at the hotel told the Detroit News that Yasa paid for her stay in advance and with cash, but staff had little reason to notice her. Distraught, she showed up on her lover's doorstep Tuesday, wearing only black jeans and a white blouse and saying that she had swallowed a bottle of pills, Dwyer said. The man refused to let her inside the apartment, handed her a bed sheet, then coaxed her inside his car. She continued her threats inside the car, but the man put her out near the end of the driveway leading to his apartment building.

He phoned police nearly 24 hours later, providing police with no hint that he knew the woman or how she got there. "I was driving by and saw it in the woods," he told dispatchers. But police became suspicious when a neighbor told officers that she saw a man walking out of the wooded area where Yasa's body was found. The neighbor's description resembled that of Yasa's lover, and the sighting was five hours before he placed the phone call to 911, Dwyer said.

The blue pills recovered near Yasa's body matched those found outside the man's apartment, as well, although Dwyer said that authorities were uncertain if she actually took the drugs. Yasa's body was slightly bruised but showed no signs of trauma, Dwyer said. Police are awaiting the results of a toxicology test before determing the cause of death. Jallal Oussar, director of general affairs for the French Consulate in Chicago, said that the family had been notified of Yasa's death and is making arrangements to have her body returned to France.

"They are devastated by this," Oussar said.

(ANYONE OUT THERE KNOW THIS JERK'S NAME? He's probably STILL OUT THERE!! ONLINE!! - Fighter)

OUR APRIL 2006 PREDATOR OF THE MONTH: KEITH CLIVE

OUR PREDATOR OF THE MONTH:
Keith Clive

Name: Keith P. Clive
Email: kpclive@XXX.com, legg#scriv#@XXX.com
Nicknames: LeggX ScrivX and leggXscrivX

THE STORY OF ONE OF HIS TARGETS
(as always - comments in purple are mine - Fighter)

I live in Europe. One day I signed in to PenPalWorld to make some friends all over the world. I didn't correspond with anybody before, so this was new to me and I was totally unaware of danger it can bring. I wanted to make friends. JUST friends.

For a few months everything was fine. My marriage was also falling apart which I now realize made me an easy target emotionally for those that only wanted to hurt or use others. A man from Canada wrote me. I noticed he was able to talk about a variety of things. So, I wrote back to him. In the beginning everything was normal. It was mostly him that wrote long e-mails, mine were a lot shorter. He asked a lot of questions about my country, immigration law, what are people like, my job… In retrospect I realize he was profiling me, my marriage and my country. (so he could be your 'perfect man' - not a real person!)


At first I didn't tell him about my marital problems. But re-reading his e-mails now I see how he probed about my marriage, how carefully he asked about it and was manipulating me -- using my every mistake of being honest with him. He commented on my e-mails with phrases like this: (check out the imbedded commands of how he wants HER to feel about him - Seduction 101)

"It's refreshing & touches me"

"I can't talk to anyone like I can talk to you"

"I've grown quite fond of you"

"Do you know how often I think of you & our discussions throughout the day?"

"Longingly, I feel a special bond and connection"

I hope my mistakes can prevent somebody else to fall victim as I did. His e-mails were flattering to me at I time that I was vulnerable. (predators hunt the wounded - Fighter) In time I began to trust him. I wasn't looking for a romance. I thought he's just someone nice to correspond with as a friend only. I had no clue that everything he told me was a big, calculated lie. I played into his game thinking he was sincere. I now know that if I would've listened to my instincts and knew more about cyberpaths this would never have happened. I opened my life to a man that didn't deserve it. I trusted the wrong person! (its o.k. - we have ALL been there. We the trusting, honesty, nice people get targetted by these predators. We did nothing wrong. THEY DID)


After a month and a half I made the mistake of letting him know that I wasn't happy in my marriage. (not a mistake if you believe you are in a TRUSTING, PERSONAL relationship. Of course with a narcissistic predator - these confessions are used as weapons on you) After that his sweet words came more frequently. I felt very uncomfortable twice with his "love bombing." First he said that he'd visit me. I didn't feel comfortable with this because I only knew him for a short time and I thought: 'something is wrong with him, why else would he want to visit me, he doesn't even know me.' The second time he asked me to send him some personal things. Nothing perverted yet, but still very strange request. (perverted because WHAT WAS HE GOING TO DO WITH THOSE THINGS? blackmail? remember how Ed Hicks & "J" threatened their targets with personal information saying they would tell on them?)

Both times I reacted according to my gut. I told him that even if I got a divorce I would never have any romantic relationships again, because once was enough. The second time I stopped writing him for a short time, letting him know that he crossed a line he shouldn't have. He sent me e-mail in which he explained why he asked and apologized. So, being the compassionate and understanding person I am, I decided to give him one more chance. (Cyberpath played on her guilt and good nature)

Now his e-mails started to say things like: 'I write long e-mails to you, but yours are so short. Please tell me what's in your heart….' After less than two months he sent me a long love e-mail. (way too fast, typical predator) In that e-mail Keith included EVERYTHING that was missing from my life, as if he could read my thoughts and make my wishes come true. I can see now he really studied me well and became "my perfect mirror." He knew exactly what to say to make me feel good. Especially after being in an abusive marriage for so long with no attention from my husband. This man love bombed me and I didn't even know what hit me. (brainwashing, seduction, neurolinguistic mind-bending.... sound familiar, readers?) I didn't feel very good about whole situation, because, even if I was in a bad marriage, I was still married and I had never cheated on my husband. Maybe some people feel its different to write e-mails than it would be to have an affair, but it still didn't feel right. (the more ethical & moral the target - the harder the Cyberpath will lay on the brainwashing. Remember Ed Hicks? And "J"? And B. Dorsky who spent YEARS grooming his target? These predators get a THRILL out of taking the targets OUTSIDE their comfort zones and seeing how far they can get the targets to go for "love." Then, the Cyberpath hopes the target is SO EMBARRASSED at how far they went - that when it all falls apart - they won't TELL on the Cyberpath. This woman was VERY brave & we commend her honesty)


A short time passed and he called me on the phone. This was the third time I didn't listen to myself and my instincts. Something was wrong in his voice. It didn't make me feel good. I realized that this relationship was very wrong. After this call I told him that I wanted two weeks time to think about everything and during this time I didn't want any e-mails from him. When I wrote this, he called me saying how much he would miss me, but he'd respect my wish. After we hung up, he called again shortly saying that he can't sleep because he thinks of me and he doesn't know how will he live two weeks without me. In retrospect I see he had NO BOUNDARIES and didn't want to give up his prime target. (EXACTLY!) I asked him not to call again and give me time to think. But he'd made me feel VERY guilty. (which is just what he wanted - its how ALL of our Predators have controlled their targets - GUILT and not letting them have time to shake off the brainwashing) After just two days I decided to write to him again, so he wouldn't "suffer." I felt selfish cutting him off because he'd made me feel I was thinking only of myself and my marriage. I wrote him an e-mail and explained that we can only be friends and nothing more because I'm married.

He promised to not use love talk anymore. He kept his promise only for a few hours. (of course, he has no ethics, no respect and no boundaries) In ONE DAY he sent me 5 e-mails. He kept saying how much he "missed me, loves me, wants to be with me, wants to talk to me again…. But he'll respect my wish, my new terms and stay just a friend to me." (sounds like an oxymoron - and sorry, we'll say it again - you can't LOVE someone you have never met and spent SIGNIFICANT TIME with. Infatuation, Lust? Yes. Love? No.) Typical predator, he told me what he supposedly felt so I would feel guilty for not returning his feelings. He wanted to give me the impression of how unselfish he was to sacrifice telling me his feelings, just to make me happy. (planting toxic seeds in your mind)


After this 'promise' he called me several times on the phone. He started with polite conversation but after a while he would say: 'I know we should be only friends, but I can't go on like this. I love you and miss you…..' He used the words "bond" and "connection" often. (imbedded emotional 'commands') He said he'd "never felt this way about any other woman. But with me it's so easy, we are soul mates…." Finally he had love bombed and brainwashed me right to where he wanted me. I trusted him and believed him. So, my e-mails were full of trust, although never sweet words or words of love.

He started sending a lot of passionate e-mails. But that heaven lasted only for a short time. Once he got what he wanted, he decided to go back to 'just friends'. He said: 'It's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.' And he said also: 'even if we'll be just friends we'll always have that bond'. (Cyberpath AGAIN! Gets her into a frenzy then pulls back - to watch her THROW HERSELF at him while he just gets an EGO RUSH!!!)

He disappeared for a week saying he had to study for his bachelor's degree, pass some exams and get his CELTA. (remember Dorksy, Hicks, Thomas and "J"? They also did disappearing acts on their targets, sometimes with the flimsiest of excuses. To make the targets more desperate to do ANYTHING to keep them around. Almost Pavlovian) He said that he was a TESL teacher some years ago, but his teaching license expired. Keith also said that one of the reasons he wants to be 'just a friend' is so I won't distract him from his work and study. (and like ALL our predators - remember - HE INITIATED HER FEELINGS & INTEREST!!! and now he's being NOBLE? HA HA HA) Keith said he wanted to get a degree as soon as possible, so he could find a job in my country and be with me. So, his disappearing should make me feel good, because he was doing it for me. He ended up making me responsible again for HIS feelings and actions. (Right again!!! Making the target responsible will keep her on the hook)


He told me he has a lousy job, no money, no bachelor's degree. (so why is he concerned about this target keeping him from his 'work & study'? hmmm??) So, he had nothing to offer me. When I tried to be helpful and find him job opportunities he said he had no time for them, because he needs to study for his exams. I questioned him - how would he pay for them, if he had no money? He couldn't give me a good explanation to that. (of course not - it was WORD SALAD!!) Finally I realized he'd always be without money, because he really doesn't want to work. I will never know if he really doesn't have money or this "no money" explanation was yet another lie. (Good girl! got that one right too! Its all one big game to them)

By then, my abusive marriage had ended. I was in the divorce process and I really needed some kindness in my life. My low emotional state made me ignore the red flags. Looking back there were many red flags and I could see them, but I just didn't want to accept them. This man also thought I was divorcing because of him. This made him feel quite important! But the reality was different. (His ego must have been huge!)

Within a week of this knowledge of my divorcing he was back with all his sweet talking, love bombing and brainwashing. He also sent me voice program for my computer, so we could talk more often. I was surprised because suddenly he was not able to talk about as many topics as he did before. I even asked him why he talked only about shallow things but no more about topics we discussed before. Our conversations became very uncomfortable. If I asked him a question instead of answering me, he sent me a link to a porn site. (Sound familiar?) Of course each time he said: 'I'm just joking. I really don't like pornography.' (LIE!) I now realize he was watching online porn while he was talking to me - that's why he couldn't answer me! Soon he started to ask questions like: 'Would you let me to kiss you on your hands, or on your forehead…' (again, sex addict cyberpath - like Hicks, Dorsky and "J" - they all said they didn't really like porn but had LOADS of it on their computers!)


Keith quickly got more intimate and perverted. (again, like our prior Predators, right?) I remember stopping him a few times in anger because he had no respect. (because you are just an online-romance & sex toy - they don't see you as a PERSON) He always apologized saying he really crossed the line. But then he'd do it again. I see now that there was a pattern.(Compulsive - again a Cyberpath trait. We've seen this before) Once he'd get me comfortable - the perversion started. If I stopped him, he would send me e-mail later saying that we should be only friends because he has nothing to offer me and he didn't want to be irresponsible to me. (ping ponging her emotional state because she wouldn't put up with his porn addiction. Porn which objectifies women) He said he has a low paying job, he's living in the same house with his sister, he can't pay his bills…. So, he has nothing. I was really torn apart. He made me feel guilty and totally responsible for how HE was feeling. He was one week sweet and next week he was gone. (just like all our other Predators. See the pattern here readers?) My inner peace was gone. He made me feel it was a big mistake by asking him not to be so bold and sexual and I shouldn't do it.

But my requests didn't change anything. He really didn't care about my feelings. He came back when he wanted to and not when I asked him. By now he had manipulated me to the point where I just accepted this bizarre behavior. It was as if he wanted to see how far he could push me and he punished me by withdrawing when I said "NO." (yes, they punish you by withdrawing their presence - like a pusher withdrawing a drug - to see how far they can push you and how much more they can get out of you. Its really sick. Refer to my article: LURES OF THE ONLINE PREDATOR for an in-depth look) His 'only friends' e-mails usually came after I didn't cooperate with him and give him cybersex. (Remember "J" telling his target he was "sick" and if she "really knew" him she'd "lose respect for him" Same B.S. - different target) Looking back I see now this was his personal punishment: 'You didn't give me what I wanted, so I'll take my 'feelings' away from you. Learn your lesson!' (Yes!)


Later I saw that his disappearances actually helped me. In times when he was gone I felt much better. Life became easier and I could be more devoted to my everyday life. When he came back again, saying how much he missed me, life became more stressful again. There were huge ups and downs in my relationship with him. (the Cyberpath RollerCoaster) Usually he broke a 'just friends' period when we were talking on voice program and he said: 'Your voice is so sexy I can't resist you…'

Some of Keith's "lines" and hooks:

- He promised to visit me one day and kiss me. He said that many times.

- He said even if you are still married and I know you won't cheat on your husband, I will kiss you and just hold your hand and gaze into your eyes.

- He was whining all the time that he had no money and a low paying job

- He told me he had to finish his bachelor's degree and get CELTA

- He told me he wanted to move to Europe, become a citizen of the European Union. He often said: If I married you I could find a job in any EU country (all about him, isn't it)

- He studied immigration laws in the countries of the EU very carefully

- He asked often if I would marry him right away if there was chemistry once we met (why the hurry Cyberpath? afraid she'd get to know it was all a big lie?)

- He wanted to find a good Catholic girl to marry despite his hate of the Church and the hypocritical values he thought it represented

- Asked for my personal items to send him

- He wanted to keep our relationship a secret. (HUGE WARNING!!! If you truly LOVE someone you want to tell the WORLD!! Not keep it a secret! You only keep secrets when you are EXPLOITING someone)

He was kind and too sweet to me, but then, like Jekyll and Hyde he would change his attitude and became rude and impolite. There were some insults, devaluating my job, saying that my thoughts were the thoughts of a crazy person… I didn't feel good about the fact that he wanted to keep our relationship a secret. He told me that his former girl friend that he had was kept a secret, even from his mother. Later I discovered that he has a lot of secrets, one of them was also the address he gave me. (Bad relationship with his mother? wrong address? incorrect or unverifiable information? MAJOR RED FLAGS!!!! ) The address was someone else's.

In short, this man was a predator and a destructive narcissist.

All women that have been or will be in touch with him were probably asked these questions on the begining of their correspondence. It's part of how he profiles his targets and discovers their values and morals:

- about bringing up kids, if they would slap to a child

- what would they do if their teenage daughter was pregnant

- what would they do if their child was a drug eddict

- he sends them the color test and other mentally probing online games

- he asks them about immigration law and job opportunities in their country

- if they are married he asks questions about their husbands, and intimate questions

- he tells them about his former girlfriends, especially one of them (ANOTHER RED FLAG!!)

More about this Cyberpath shortly!!! - Fighter

HOMELAND SECURITY OFFICIAL ARRESTED IN ONLINE SEX STING

Homeland official arrested in online sex sting

Agency's deputy press secretary held for soliciting for a child on Internet

MIAMI - The deputy press secretary for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security was arrested Tuesday for using the Internet to seduce what he thought was a teenage girl, authorities said.

Brian J. Doyle, 55, was arrested at his residence in Maryland on charges of use of a computer to seduce a child and transmission of harmful material to a minor. The charges were issued out of Polk County, Fla.

Authorities said he was online with the "girl," a Florida undercover sheriff's deputy, when police arrived at his Silver Spring, Md., house to arrest him.

Doyle had a sexually explicit conversation with what he believed was a 14-year-old girl whose profile he saw on the Internet on March 14, the Polk County Sheriff's Office said in a statement.

The girl was really an undercover Polk County Sheriff's Computer Crimes detective, the sheriff’s office said.

Pornographic movie clips
Doyle sent pornographic movie clips and had sexually explicit conversations via the Internet, the statement said.

During other online conversations, Doyle revealed his name, that he worked for the Homeland Security Department, and offered his office and government issued cell phone numbers, the sheriff's office said. (sounds like Ed Hicks! - Fighter)

Doyle also sent photos of himself that were not sexually explicit, authorities said. One photo, which authorities released to the news media, shows Doyle in what appears to be homeland security headquarters. He is wearing a homeland security pin on his lapel and a lanyard that says "TSA."

The Transportation Security Administration is part of the Homeland Security Department.

On several occasions, Doyle instructed the girl to perform a sexual act while thinking of him and described explicit activities he wanted to have with her, investigators said.

Doyle later had a telephone conversation with an undercover deputy posing as the teenager and encouraged her to purchase a Web camera to send graphic images of herself to him, the sheriff's office said.

Web cam
Carrie Rodgers, a sheriff's spokeswoman, said an undercover detective posing as the girl call Doyle at work Tuesday and said "she had gotten the web camera like he told her and her mom wouldn't be home that night and she wanted to try it out."

"He said he would get on the computer when he got home from work so we knew he would be on," Rodgers said. "When (police) went to his door, he was on the computer in the middle of a conversation with the girl."

He was booked into Maryland's Montgomery County jail where he was waiting to be extradited to Florida, the sheriff's office said.

There was no immediate response to messages left on Doyle's government-issued cell phone and his e-mail, and he could not be reached by phone at the jail for comment.

Homeland Security press secretary Russ Knocke in Washington said he could not comment on the details of the investigation. "We take these allegations very seriously, and we will cooperate fully with the ongoing investigation," Knocke said.

Washington television stations showed footage of police escorting Doyle from his home in handcuffs. One arresting officer carried a large box. Doyle was bent over in the front seat of the police vehicle in an apparent attempt to hide his face.

Doyle, who is the fourth-ranking official in the department's public affairs office, was expected to be placed on administrative leave Wednesday morning.

NY Cop Accused of Cyberstalking

Claim he hacked into e-mail of ex-girlfriend to access dating site, where he sent men to her house
BY ERIK GERMAN -- Newsday Staff Writer

A police officer seeking revenge against a former girlfriend hacked into the woman's e-mail account, assumed her identity at an on-line dating service and contacted 70 men, inviting some of them for rendezvous at the woman's home, Suffolk prosecutors charged yesterday in a 197-count indictment.

Investigators declined to identify the woman, whom they said discovered the scheme when male strangers began appearing at her house, claiming she had solicited their visits via Match.com.

Suffolk County District Attorney Thomas Spota hit Michael Valentine, 28, of Lake Grove, with the hefty indictment -- which included 21 felony counts -- charging him with stalking, computer tampering and aggravated harassment among other crimes, some counts punishable by up to 4 years in prison.

"This is cyber terrorism," said Suffolk Police Commissioner Richard Dormer, adding that the woman told investigators she feared for her life. "The men and women of the department are being shamed today. Their badge has been tarnished."

Valentine -- who has served as a patrol officer in Suffolk's Sixth precinct since 2002 -- pleaded not guilty at his arraignment in front of Suffolk County Court Judge James Hudson in Riverhead. He was released on his own recognizance yesterday morning.

There was no answer yesterday at 12 Beverly Rd., Valentine's home, although the two cars registered in his name were parked in the street in front of the house.

Valentine's attorney, Paul Gianelli of Hauppauge, did not return phone calls seeking comment.

Prosecutors said Valentine's revenge scheme began in November after a six-week relationship that the couple began on Match.com ended.

"In return for her leaving him, he hacked into the victim's e-mail account," Spota said.

But police said Valentine was no computer whiz. He simply made the lucky guess that his former girlfriend had chosen as a password the name of her German shepherd.

"It didn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure this out," said Robert Clifford, a spokesman for Spota. "A lesson could be learned here and it's 'don't use your dog's name as a password.'"

Match.com spokeswoman Maida Goodman said the company would cooperate with the investigation. "Generally speaking ... the only way for an individual to have access to the account of a Match.com member is if the member's password were shared between them."

Valentine read the woman's e-mail, sent messages in her name and paid the $29.99 monthly fees to re-open the Match.com account that she'd closed after their break up, prosecutors said.

Clifford said that Valentine altered some details on the woman's on-line profile -- changing, for example, her political self-description to "ultra conservative" -- and he also sent out around 70 "Winks" or e-mails to indicate romantic interest to male Match.com clients.

While prosecutors said the messages' content was not particularly racy, it was effective. "On at least two occasions men came to her house thinking they were going to date her," Spota said. "So you can imagine how she felt."

Valentine also faces multiple charges in connection with allegedly filing a false police report claiming that the woman threatened him. Valentine showed police on Feb. 3 an e-mail he claimed to have received from the woman threatening that her friends would "come out of the bushes with a baseball bat and beat your brains out." (sound familiar readers? The cyberpath ALWAYS blame shifts to their victim - trying to make THEMSELVES look like the injured party - Fighter)

Police said Valentine sent the e-mail and are charging him with felony evidence tampering and official misconduct in connection with his report. Police said Valentine was suspended without pay in mid-February because of the investigation. He is scheduled to return to Suffolk County Court on April 20.

MATCH.COM's STATEMENT:
We were just made aware of this matter by news organizations who have contacted us and the story posted in today's Newsday.com. Naturally, we will cooperate with law enforcement officials if and when they contact us. Because of our strict privacy policies, we cannot specifically comment on this matter or provide any customer-related details. Generally speaking, however, the only way for any individual to have access to the account of a Match.com member is if the member's password were shared between them.

~~~~
BY JENNIFER SINCO KELLEHER
Newsday Staff Writer

April 4, 2006

As a young boy, Michael Valentine aspired to be an FBI agent, his grandfather recalled yesterday. Eventually, he grew up to serve in the U.S. Army and most recently he worked as a Suffolk police officer.

It is this image of respectability that makes it hard for Anthony Valentine, 77, of Elmont, to believe that authorities have charged his grandson in an online dating scheme to get back at a former lover.

"I'm horrified to hear this story," Valentine said. "It doesn't sound like him at all ... He's always been an honorable person, looking to be the best he could be. I want people to know he has high morals." (all cyberpaths purport to familie & associates to be of unimpeachable character & high morals - covering something much darker - Fighter)

While at H. Frank Carey High School in Franklin Square, Valentine joined the Junior Reserve Officers' Training Corps, allowing him to reach the rank of lieutenant when he joined the Army after graduation, his grandfather said.

Valentine's grandfather said that while in the Army his grandson served in Bosnia and Iraq, though he couldn't recall the dates of the tours.

"He's always done his best for everybody," the grandfather said. "I'm proud of Michael."

A fellow Sixth Precinct officer who asked not to be identified described Valentine as "courteous." Valentine's co-workers have been talking about the investigation for several months, the source said. "I was very shocked when I heard," he said.

Jeff Frayler, president of the Suffolk County Police Benevolent Association, said Valentine became a full-fledged officer on Nov. 12, 2002.

"We'll be here to help him out," Frayler said. "We'll be here to talk to him. It's a difficult thing he's going through."

http://www.amny.com/news/local/newyork/ny-livale0404,0,7999207,print.story?coll=am-topheadlines

(SHEESH - what about his VICTIM? What about an APOLOGY and MAKING AMENDS?? we will update you as we get more information on this story - Fighter)