WHY DO CYBERPATHS PREY ON OTHERS?

(This is merely an attempt to answer the question "WHY did they do this?" This explanation is speculative & by no means final or complete. - EOPC)

excerpted from: "Why Do People Abuse?"


Understanding Abuse
People have difficulty understanding the motives of people who are involved in abuse. Why people choose to abuse other people is a common question.

Abuse situations must be lived in and experienced before their internal logic makes any sense. However, we can try to do our best to understand.

Why Do Cyberpaths Abuse?
The first question, "Why do people abuse other people?" has multiple answers. Some people internalized a particular relationship dynamic, namely the complementary roles of "abuser" and "victim". They are familiar with and fully understand the terror of being the helpless victim from their own childhood experience. The opposite of being a victim is not simply opting out of abuse; it is instead, to be abusive. Given the choice between being the out-of-control victim, or the in-control abuser, some of these people grow up to prefer the role of the abuser.

As they become adults, they simply turn this relationship dynamic around and start acting out the "abuser" side of the relationship dynamic. By choosing to be the aggressor and abuser, they may get their first sense of taking control over their own destiny and not being at the mercy of others. And the anonymity and disinhibition the internet provides feeds that.

Besides, online - others are only objects, not real people.


Still other people who abuse end up abusing because they have an empathy deficit, either because of some sort of brain damage, or because their innate empathic abilities never developed properly.

Such abusers cannot or will not relate to other people as people, choosing instead to treat them as objects. In effect, they confuse people for things. They treat people as though they were there solely for their convenience and do not otherwise have an independent, important life. Far too easy to do online!

Abusers who treat people in this manner are very likely psychologically ill, incurably so. They may have an antisocial, sociopathic or narcissistic personality disorder, and they may have anger or impulse control issues and addition (internet, sex, love & drama) issues on top of that!

Such cyberpaths may abuse via the net because of the benefits they receive from doing so, for instance, sexual or financial gratification, or the simple allure of power over other people's lives.

original article here

WHY WE DO IT

This wonderful post is from a friend of this site, the owner of FightBigamy. We have highlighted some things about why people like us start these sort of sites and why we are driven to stop the abuse we see. - Fighter

After becoming involved with a bigamist, I decided to develop a blog to help fight bigamy. I met my counterpart in the UK, Julia Johns, and became familiar with her website, Stop Bigamy-UK. I realized that the United States needed a similar site. I began researching bigamy and found little information. I researched state statutes and thought there needed to be one place for people to go to read each state's law regarding bigamy without the cumbersome task of going to each individual state's Code of Statutes.

Throughout my heart-wrenching journey that began on April 13, 2005, I've met so many victims. Kind, trusting men and women, who not only have been victims of bigamists, but also victims of con artists, psychopaths, narcissists, and Internet predators. The emotional abuse that these creatures hand out affects their victims forever. It is my goal to make people more aware of what bigamy is, its implications, current bigamists in the news, and each state's law regarding bigamy. (same as our goal at EOPC. To educate people to avoid the abuse, heartbreak and emotional rape Online Predators cause)

To me, bigamy is the ultimate deception, a betrayal and a fraud so mammoth that few can understand, usually only those that have been its victim. Bigamy is a serious social and criminal problem that is overlooked, laughed at, and enabled by the way in which applications for marriage licenses are haphazardly given to applicants, especially in the United States.

For example, if you apply for a marriage license, no background checking is done, and you are "at your word" to provide honest answers on the marriage application. A man or woman who is already married, could easily go tomorrow and get married and no checking would be performed. Furthermore, there is no centralized database for jurisdictions to check to see whether or not a person is being truthful on their application. The sentences and fines for bigamy are deplorable.

Bigamy is classified as a felony in most states, yet rarely do bigamists ever spend one night in jail and many get off with fines less than what most of us get for speeding tickets. It is cheaper to be a bigamist than get a divorce. What is wrong with this picture? Not only do bigamists dish out emotional abuse to their targets (victims), but they ruin them financially as well. Marriage is a legal contract, and bigamy is fraud. It is a felony in all but thirteen states.

In my case, a little quirk in the law has put my bigamy complaint against Charles Edward "Ed" Hicks in the hands of a civil judge who will decide whether or not I am legally married to this bigamist. Since he had not obtained a divorce from Wife #5 when he married Wife #6, that makes Wife #6's marriage null and void in Virginia. Therefore she has the bigamous marriage, and I probably do not. Wife #6, Julie Flint-Hicks filed a complaint in Chesapeake, Virginia. A grand jury there handed up an indictment for the class four felony charge of bigamy against Charles E. "Ed" Hicks on December 6, 2005.

A warrant was issued for his arrest and a woman from North Carolina was watching Julie Flint-Hicks and I on Dr. Phil on December 12, 2005. She recognized Ed Hicks as the man who had recently proposed to her sister, and she contacted police. Within three hours, Ed Hicks was arrested by the Mecklenburg County North Carolina police.

Hicks was then brought back to Virginia where he was released on a surety bond on January 7, 2006; he was not to leave the Commonwealth of Virginia. Hicks immediately fled to North Carolina that day, and he was arrested again on January 8; he was returned to Virginia courtesy of the Chesapeake Virginia Sheriff's Department on January 18. Ed Hicks was placed in the Chesapeake Jail for the second time in less than one month. On March 2, Hicks plead guilty to felony bigamy and on May 8, 2006 he will be sentenced. On May 10, I will either be granted a divorce or an annulment from this bigamist, depending on the ruling of the judge.

Ed Hicks has been married at least seven times and four of those marriages overlap, meaning he would marry the next one before the previous one divorced him. This has been a pattern of life for him for forty years. How many more lives have to be affected by Ed Hicks? How many more hearts broken? How many more finances ruined? How many more lives shattered? For more, read the rest of my story. Bigamists wreak havoc on the lives they touch, not only emotionally but also financially.

And, in my opinion many bigamists are psychopaths (sociopath) con men who prey on trusting, kind women and men. And it is my belief that the Internet has given these emotional vampires a whole new supply.

Online dating sites allow these predators to be anyone they want to be and they present themselves as charming and charismatic, but they are MASTER manipulators that exhibit psychopathic and narcisstic traits. Unless people who use these dating sites start doing full background checks on the people they meet there and start a relationship with, they may find themselves in a situation similar to mine....or worse.

I met Ed Hicks on an online dating site. I was not too smart because I did not do a background check; however, since I knew he was a Federal Government employee with a Department of Defense Secret security clearance, I thought that signaled verifiable integrity. I was wrong.

Hopefully, this will help you understand bigamy a bit more, understand bigamy is a felony in all but thirteen states; moreover, understand bigamy is an overlooked crime and is rarely punished. You can research the bigamy laws in each state, learn about other resources available to help victims of bigamy and victims of emotional abuse in general, and above all understand that most bigamists throw people away like we would a used candy wrapper without remorse, without conscience, and without guilt.

ORIGINAL POST HERE