Characteristics of a Predator:
1. Liar: (Self explanatory) His lies may sound very convincing or contain kernels of truth.
2. Deceiver: His self situation is presented as other than what it is.
3. Betrayer: He is likely to break trust.
4. Insecure: He is worried that others will be faithless.
5. Inconsistent: He will say one thing while doing another or his stories aren't consistent over time.
6. Lacking Honor: Usually while protesting that he has honor.
7. Lack of Respect: He will tend to denigrate, poke fun at or disrespect others.
8. Transient: He is unlikely to have many long term friends though he may tell you differently. He will make sure you don't have to meet any of these "friends" either.
9. Manipulator: He calculates and contrives for his own benefit to the detriment of his partner.
10. Secretive: He will tend to cloak himself and his activities. (blocking you online for days or weeks at a time with no real reason why or being online and not chatting with you)
11. Charming: If he could not steal your breath away, he would not be a successful hunter.
12. Selective: He will pick victims carefully, looking for weaknesses and vulnerability and filling those voids in their lives seemingly completely.
13. Chameleon: He will appear to fit any need perfectly and adapt to fill any desire.
14. Lacking in Self Control: At times, he may have extraordinary self control and discipline, a predator probably exhibits these characteristics in all aspects of his life. Impulsive.
THEIR ACTIONS NOT THEIR WORDS TELL YOU EVERYTHING.
Predator Warning Signals:
While any of these phrases or actions may be acceptable in a given context, pay close attention when seeing or hearing them:
1. Do not tell ____________ about us, me.
2. (_______) is crazy! (or psycho, sick, a liar, a stalker, harassing me or out to get me) [use caution, the person saying this could be stalked BY a cyberpath... this statement alone does not make them a liar]
3. It would be best if you no longer spoke to _________.
4. I do not need to defend myself against lies. You know I am not like that.
5. They are just jealous (of me, of us, of what we have, that you have me).
6. I have never done this before. I am not that sort of person.
7. I wouldn't lie to you. I would never hurt you.
1. Sometimes operates from innocuous web areas or chat rooms. (parents chats, music chats, classmates chats, pen pal sites, shared interest email lists or bulletin boards)
2. Has personal information which is incomplete or not verifiable or gives you vague information about themselves.
3. Becomes defensive or angry when questioned. Or says they're 'tired and gets 'offline'. (or blocks you)
4. Questions your sincerity when questioned.
5. He will usually discourage or forbid personal information checks. (DON'T LET THIS STOP YOU!! THIS IS A MAJOR RED FLAG - If they tell you "you don't trust me" then run their name and nickname(s) through search engines ASAP! And READ EVERY HIT!!)
6. He will usually discourage, schedule for certain times only or forbid the use of his home, work or cell phone number by you. Ask you not to IM him first in case he's busy (usually not alone or chatting with another victim)
7. He's badmouthing his current partner, wife, girlfriend or significant other ("they don't understand me, not enough love/ sex/ attention, etc.")
8. He starts to show lack of concern for what concerns you and/or a change in his behavior and how he talks to you after a few weeks or months. (Changes from caring about you to self-absorbed concerns)
9. You have a serious personal or job problem (sometimes because of chatting with him) and he stops chatting with you for weeks or months at a time telling you its "for your own good" or he's "trying to protect you." (The only person he really cares about protecting is himself)
10. Either refuses to or hesitates to see you for coffee in public place or wants to see you right away. Be very careful if you are in a different country than the person you are chatting with and they offer to pay your way over to "be with them."
Personal Warning Signals:
These are items that, even if you think JUST ONE, anyone should pay attention to:
1. You feel he is just too good to be true.
2. You are hearing consistent warnings from more than one person about them.
3. Your instincts are whispering "something is not right about this person/what they are saying".
The final best defense against an Online Predator is your own common sense and judgment. Be careful not to read into things that simply aren't there.
Always remember that they count on desires, needs, and the heat of the moment that combine to drown that judgment.
Always take a moment to step back, take a deep breath and look at a potential partner with common sense and not with neediness.
(We have used the male gender - online predators can be female as well)
CLICK HERE for a GREAT EXAMPLE!