is the mind of the oppressed."
- Stephen Biko
DO THEY EVER ADMIT THEY ARE LYING OR TWISTED THE FACTS?
from this group
(EOPC believes Cyberpathy is an expression of Narcissism and other Cluster B disorders)
We work to try to understand the essence of the [cyberpath]. When I was trying to explain the N to a friend, she understood an N as someone not "able to face the pain of imagining they did something wrong". I wasn't sure about this so did a quick internet search on narcissists and admitting wrong and accepting fault, and got these quotes:
- The [cyberpath] often notices that something is wrong with him and with his life -- but he never admits it.
- ... the [cyberpath] is incapable of admitting that something is wrong with HIM
- They will never admit fault, they will never say they are sorry. If something goes wrong, they will play the victim. They will blame others.
- Remember they will never admit they are wrong, they will never debase themselves with an apology. They will never laugh at themselves.
"[I suspect my husband is a narcissist]. Last night we got into an argument over our daughters homework and he was absolutely livid because he was wrong and he knew he was wrong but could not admit it. He try's to place blame on anyone and everyone but himself."- Narcissistic Cyberpaths adore themselves. They live for themselves, they think they can do no wrong and will not admit to wrongdoing [re: traits common to 6 year olds and adult narcissists] They are not suffering from 'low self-esteem'
- [For the cyberpath] to admit to one failing, to acknowledge a mistake, even a simple human error of judgement, would be to open the door to the deep internal lack within. The illusion of perfection, maintained by projecting faults onto someone else, is a barrier to be constantly tended, mended and shored up. To admit any feelings of deficiency would be the equivalent of poking a hole in the dyke, an event to be feared as a total disaster.
[Cyberpaths] blame all problems on the "all-bad." It's never the cyberpath's fault; it's always someone else's.
The last paragraph speaks truly from a cyberpath's perspective. It's the victim's fault.
If the two of you have a conflict, he'll tweak the facts as much as he has to to make it all your fault.
His perverse way of turning everything into my fault and his blaming left me battered and exhausted.
Cyberpaths who were children of entitlement:
Externalization of Blame -- The child cannot allow the bad feelings of being at fault for anything. He/she/they/YOU are the problem! He avoids feeling vulnerable by blaming others. The fragile self esteem cannot be punctured by taking responsibility for behavior. His script is "Do not expose me to those intolerable feelings inside. I can't handle it."
Since the false self is grandiose and perfect, relationship problems are never the fault of the narcissist.
For making a change (whether great or small) implies that the narcissist has been two things they "cannot stand": imperfect (something is actually wrong with "them") and at fault ("they" actually were wrong, weak, or inferior somehow).
It can't be HIS fault - he is perfect.
The cyberpath says in effect, "Something doesn't feel right. I'm too special to be the cause, therefore it must be your fault."