A best friend's well-intentioned advice may not always be the best when it comes to dating. Licensed California Private Investigator and DateSmart founder, Carmen Naimish reminds dating singles to investigate their dates.
A young, beautiful single mother in Northern California believed she had found Mr. Right. She had met a charming and handsome man who appeared to have it all and claimed he wanted to share his life with her. Unlike many singles, they didn't meet on-line. The two were introduced by more traditional means by the woman's best friend.
With the promises of Mr. Right in sight, neither the woman nor her best friend recognized the red flags prominent in Scott Peterson's behavior. Peterson lied--and many believed his lies. Scott Peterson's formal death sentence is scheduled, not for his lies, but for the double murder of the very family he claimed did not exist.
Most men and women desire to find the right mate, to be in love, and to live happily ever after. On-line dating offers a means to achieve these results and, indeed, many have found success using this method. However, people need to be aware that their desires can mask a clear perception, cloud judgment, and result in a less than desirable dating outcome.
"There are red flags that offer clues regarding suspicious behavior, and these red flags are the same whether you've met on-line or by traditional means," Naimish says. If Amber Frey had sought further information on the red flags apparent in her relationship with Scott Peterson, she would have learned early on that he was married and that he and his wife owned a home together in Modesto.
A few red flags to consider - if you answer yes to any of these questions, you should seek more information about your mate:
· Does it seem too good to be true?
· Is there something you can't quite put your finger on?
· Are they secretive or elusive regarding their past?
· Do they blame others for their problems?
· Have they asked you for money or use of credit cards?
In a January, 2005 Wall Street Journal article, Sue Shellenbarger writes "Latest Dating Headache - Many women are surprised to find their earning power has become a magnet for the opposite sex." In other words, if you're a good catch, you're an even bigger target for scam artists. Be careful.
The availability of on-line sources of information may appear to make the investigation process easier but typically does not provide all the answers. "Internet savvy clients sometimes try these methods then contact DateSmart because they've not found the information they seek. DateSmart provides personal service, an analysis of the findings and an explanation of what the information means to you," Naimish said.
Men are equally vulnerable to these dating issues. Single professionals, baby boomers and retired persons, all who have worked hard to own their homes or businesses may not have time to conduct their own thorough research. Many have contacted DateSmart for these services. "Most tell me 'I'm so glad I did,'" says Naimish. Others say, "I only wish I had known about you sooner."
For more information, visit www.DateSmart.com or call 1-888-84-CHECK.
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