Surviving the Cyberpath

It Takes A Strong Individual To Survive An Exploiter
(in this case a Cyberpath would be an 'EXPLOITER')


You really need to admire yourself for surviving an exploitative relationship. I say this very seriously, not flippantly. We all, of course, hope to minimize our involvement with exploitative individuals. But in the course of life, as we know, that’s not always possible.

It is vital, therefore, if you’ve been victimized by and/or are recovering from involvement with an exploiter, to fully, genuinely appreciate (and remind yourself constantly) that you are indeed strong, impressively strong, because only the strong survive exploitation.

Many clients with whom I work (really, most people, I think) tend to see personal strength and insecurity; personal strength and low self-esteem, as incompatible. They balk at the idea that you can be a very strong person and insecure at the same time; that you can be a very strong person even with low self-esteem.

For instance, when someone violates you (especially chronically) and you don’t defend yourself properly, the tendency is to attribute your failure at self-protection to “personal weakeness.” The thought is something like, “If I was a strong person, I wouldn’t have let that abuse occur. I’d have asserted myself, defended myself, drawn the line.”

But it’s not personal weakness that explains the failure to protect your boundaries; it’s more often a lack of clarity in knowing precisely what your boundaries are, and precisely what constitutes an unacceptable violation of them. Victims of sustained exploitation/ abuse aren’t personally weak, quite the contrary. My experience has affirmed again and again how remarkably strong and resourceful most of them are. What they lack, however, often is a clear, secure sense of their boundaries; this insecurity of boundaries leaves them vulnerable to compromising themselves. After all, you can’t assert and/or protect your boundaries unless and until you’ve established them very clearly and securely (in your mind).

This explains what for many can seem so confusing and dichotomous: how a victim of sustained exploitation/abuse can, on the one hand, lobby so effectively for others’ interests while, with respect to her/his own, appear stuck in circumstances s(he’d) counsel anyone else to reject and escape.

But I restate: you can’t protect your interests if they aren’t, in the first place, clearly defined. And you can’t defend your boundaries if, on any level, you’re uncertain, or ambivalent about, what they are. This disadvantaged position helps explain how an otherwise strong, resourceful adult can find her/himself tolerating and enduring the meanness and nonsense of a defective partner.

When my clients who have been in exploitative relationships discover confidently their boundaries, they often feel sad, on one hand, not to have done so sooner; but thrilled on the other to find themselves, as if miraculously, just as skilled at protecting their own interests as they’ve always been at protecting others’.

It’s a kind of bittersweet discovery. The bitter part, if grieved properly, is usually short-lived; the sweet aspect is longlasting.


Steve Becker, MSW, LCSW, CH.T

Sociopathic Characteristics - Is Your Cyberpath One?

• Jekyll & Hyde personality
• Always charming and beguilingly plausible, especially to those who are capable of protecting or enhancing the sociopath’s position
• Excels at deception (this must never be underestimated, but always is)
• Excels at evasion of accountability
• Is extremely and successfully manipulative of people’s perceptions and emotions (eg guilt and anger)
• Silver-tongued, has an extreme verbal facility and can outwit anybody (including lawyers, police & therapists) in verbal conflict
• Is adept at offering weak and inadequate people the positions of power, control, security, influence or respect that they crave but who lack the necessary competencies to achieve - such people are unaware that their consequent dependence on the sociopath makes them permanent manipulatees, pawns and expendable agents of helping the sociopath with his/her harassment
• Identifies those essential to the sociopath’s survival and manipulates their perceptions of them by making them feel special and thus obligated to reciprocate with support and protection
• Manipulates others into making fools of themselves in situations where they cannot back down or from which they cannot withdraw - these people become increasingly susceptible to further manipulation and are then trapped as pawns in the sociopath’s game
• Is likely to be surrounded by people who, having been subjected to control, manipulation and punishment by the sociopath, look wretched and who start to exhibit behavior best described as disordered, dysfunctional, sullen, aggressive, defensive, hostile, retaliatory, counterproductive or cult-like and for whom disbelief, disavowal and denial are instinctive responses
• Creates an environment where levels of denial are so great that those involved are oblivious of the foolishness and self-evident absurdity of their denials when presented with the facts, with the result that non-involved observers are led to question whether such levels of denial merit psychiatric intervention
• Is contemptuous of disrepute to their organization and of collateral damage and of the destructive consequences for all direct and indirect parties
• Is always surrounded by and leaves behind a trail of dysfunctional organizations, destroyed businesses, ruined careers, stress breakdowns and unexplained suicides despite a trail of devastation to individuals, organizations, families and communities. The actions of a socialized psychopath may go undetected or unrecognized for years
• A history of conducting frivolous, vexatious and malicious legal actions and threats, especially (but not exclusively) against anyone who can recognize the sociopath for what he is
• Only after the sociopath is exposed and relieved of position, or they move on, can the full depth of their destructive behavior be fathomed and the consequences calculated
• Is skilled at identifying, undermining, discrediting, neutralizing and destroying anyone who can see through the sociopath’s mask of sanity at all times
• Restricts the actions and rights of others (especially those holding the sociopath accountable) whilst aggressively protecting his or her right to do anything without being hampered by social norms or legal requirements
• Pursues endless vindictive vendettas against anyone perceived as a threat or who attempts, knowingly or unknowingly, to identify or reveal or expose the sociopath, or who makes efforts to hold the sociopath accountable
• Is adept at appropriating rules, regulations, procedures and law to manipulate, control and punish accusers regardless of relevance, logic, facts or consequences persists in and pursues vindictive vendettas using self-evidently false evidence or information, even after this is brought to the attention of the sociopath will often manipulate minor bullies of the Wannabe type (who on their own might or would not merit the label ’serial bully’) into acting as agents of harassment and as unwitting or unwilling conductors/ proxies of vendettas
• Is adept at placing people in situations where the sociopath can tap into each person’s instinctive urge to retaliate in order to use them as his or her instruments or agents of harassment
• Gains gratification from provoking others into engaging in adversarial conflict
• Once conflict has been initiated, the sociopath gains increased gratification by exploiting human beings’ instinctive need to retaliate - this is achieved by encouraging and escalating peoples’ adversarial conflicts into mutually assured destruction, revels in the gratification gained from seeing or causing other people’s distress
• When faced with accountability or unwelcome attention which might lead to others discerning the sociopath’s true nature, responds with repeated and escalating attempts to control, manipulate and punish
• Is adept at reflecting all accusations and attempts at accountability back onto their accusers
• Is adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise pool negative information about the sociopath (eg ‘keeping victims apart’ so there is comparison or sharing of activities or statements made by the sociopath)
• Has no limits on his or her vindictiveness
• The need to control, manipulate and punish develops into an obsession with many of the hallmarks of an addiction
• Is skilled at mimicry and can plausibly and spontaneously regurgitate all the latest emotional jargon
• Exhibits minimal professional skill level and competency
• Exploits his or her intelligence to excel at talentless mediocrity
• Is always identifying the behaviors and strategies to which other people respond with the desired effect
• Is able to anticipate and credibly say what people want to hear
• Is easily able to win people over before betraying them or deceiving them or ripping them off
• Easily manipulates and hypnotizes a vulnerable or emotionally needy person to be their spokesperson or agent of aggression
• Exploits anyone who has a vulnerability
• Is pushy and extremely persuasive
• Is sexually inadequate and sexually abusive (and often sexually & porn addicted)
• Is likely to protect anyone accused of or suspected of sexually abusive activity, and will frustrate or obstruct investigations into that person
• May be associating with, or actively involved in, sexually abusive activity
• Has no emotions, no emotional processing capability and no ability to understand other’s emotions
• Is incapable of understanding, initiating or sustaining intimacy
• The male sociopath has often convinced a string of women to feel they are in love with him and despite being treated abominably they blindly continue to be loyal to him and minister willingly to his every demand
• May start projects or relationships with apparent enthusiasm and energy but quickly loses interest
• Frequently takes unnecessary and miscalculated risks but takes no account of consequences
• Is reckless and untrustworthy with money
• Is likely to have committed or be committing criminal or near-criminal offenses, eg fraud, deception
• Is likely to have committed or be committing breaches of harassment and discrimination law, employment law, etc disregards rules, regulations, Health and Safety requirements, professional standards, codes of conduct and legal requirements, etc
• Cannot comprehend the deeper semantic meaning of language and is thus unable to understand or appreciate metaphor, hyperbole, irony, satire etc - while trumpeting they are “good at” same (these elicit either zero response or a hostile response)
• Likes, seeks, enjoys and relies on procedure, ritual and ritualistic practices through arrogant overconfidence takes increasingly risky chances and eventually overplays their hand or makes a mistake which leads to the sociopath revealing him or herself
• Exhibits parasitical behavior, takes everything and gives nothing grabs headline credit for minimal, flukey or other peoples’ success whilst surviving off the backs of manipulatees who are exclusively blamed for all failures
• Rarely blinks, may have stary scary eyes that cut right through you, or may avoid eye contact completely (the 'sociopathic stare' that many mistake for romantic intensity)
• Is callous, cold and calculating
• Is devious, clever and cunning
• Is ruthless in the extreme regards people as objects and playthings to be discarded when surplus or inconvenient to requirements
• Displays zero empathy completely without conscience, remorse and guilt
• Malicious and evil
  

* Found at F.A.C.T.net Forums.


REMEMBER - EOPC are not doctors, lawyers, police or mental health professionals. We cannot diagnose, we can merely offer an opinion or suggestion. -- Sociopaths/ psychopaths RARELY go to be diagnosed or admit what they are! We present this as part of our ongoing psychopathy/ sociopathy education efforts and to help victims and others see exactly 'WHAT' they may be dealing with.

Involved With a Sociopath (or Cyberpath)?

Cyberpathy is an expression of Sociopathy and Narcissism -- therefore this article is very pertinent to those who may be, are or ever were involved with a Cyberpath. If you have thoroughly read any of our predator stories -- you will relate to this article! - EOPC

PART I



Is there something wrong with your guy? Does he lie, cheat, steal, commit fraud, use people then discard them, have fits of rage, seem self-centered or have no conscience?

Do you feel like something is wrong with him, but you are not sure what it is? It sometimes seems like his brain just does not work right and he does outrageous things.

Beware! You might be dating a sociopath. What are the warning signs? What should you do?

Sociopaths are sneaky and will worm their way into your life, despite your misgivings from the beginning. Something about this man is not quite right. You can’t put your finger on it, and you hesitate, but you get sucked into him anyway. These men are charming and can put on an act that wins your sympathy and devotion.

• If you have issues of low self-esteem, they instinctively know how to approach you and suck you in.



• If you are lonely and needy you are a big target for the man with a sociopathic personality disorder.

He makes you feel special and important. He convinces you they he has been misunderstood all his life, and you are the only one who understands him now. You feel validated and needed by this man, and he sucks you in deeper and deeper over time.

Your first warning was your gut instinct, and that was the time to run away and leave this relationship behind. Unfortunately, you didn’t, and now you are stuck in the hell that is a relationship with a sociopath. We all need to pay attention to the red flags, warning signs, gut instincts. We can learn to recognize the sociopath and never get sucked into him again.

The words sociopathic, psychopathic, and antisocial personality all mean the same thing and are a true mental illness, a psychosis. The three terms are interchangeable and have only different areas of focus such as socialization or criminal behavior. We will use the word sociopath because it is the most recognizable. Psychopaths are often equated with serial murderers, and antisocial is equated with dysfunction. [But the majority of them are MUCH more subtle!] The sociopath is sometimes charming and usually looks and acts normal enough to fool us. All three terms carry the same meaning: a disorder of the personality.



The most important thing to know is that a sociopath has a brain that does not work right. In fact, he is missing a part of his brain. More specifically, he is missing one of the building blocks of his personality. This is important to understand because it explains the seriousness of this disorder and why it cannot be treated or fixed or cured.

The part of his brain that is missing shapes his conscience, and because it is missing, he does not have one. The sociopath does not feel guilt, remorse or shame like the rest of us feel when we do something bad or wrong. He is not capable of feeling guilt or shame because he is missing that piece of his personality. It also means he does not have the boundaries, restraints on his behavior or impulse control that the rest of us do so he will do things that are outrageous, things that normal personalities would never consider doing.

The bad news for you is that this personality disorder cannot be fixed. You cannot fix him, and he cannot fix himself. No therapy or drug can fix this personality disorder because a part of his brain is missing. With long-term therapy some of the symptoms might be lessened, or the sociopath might learn to live more productively in society, but it cannot be fixed. This is why the most important piece of advice for the person involved with a sociopath is to leave. Get him out of your life. Run, don’t walk, away from him and never, ever go back.

A good comparison, something to help you understand the medical implications of this disorder, is to compare it to a disease of the eye. Diseases and disorders of the eye can be treated, like glaucoma, astigmatism, nearsightedness, etc., with medicine, eyeglasses, or laser surgery. Color blindness, however, can NOT be treated, because the person is missing the color cones and rods in the eye. A doctor cannot fix what is not there to begin with. This is why the sociopath, with a part of his personality missing, cannot be fixed. No doctor or therapist can put back what wasn’t there to begin with, and the sociopath is missing an actual building block of his personality, deep within his brain.

This explains why you sometimes feel like his brain just doesn’t work right. He lies, uses you, manipulates, bleeds you dry, rages, begs forgiveness, and then does it all over again without any guilt, remorse or shame.

Are you the one who is crazy, you ask yourself? No. His brain really does not work right.

Understanding and accepting this fact will help you leave the sociopath and make your life right again with normal men and healthy relationships.

ORIGINAL

READ MORE:
Part 2
Part 3

While this article uses the male gender, your sociopath/ narcissist/ cyberpath may well be female.

Man Who Listed Ex in Sex Ads Gets Harassment Charges

(United Kingdom) FUMING Kath Thompson was plagued by strangers wanting sex after her ex-lover advertised her on a website for hookers.

More than a hundred punters bombarded her with "particularly salacious sexual" calls and texts, a court heard.

Dumped Nigel Hadley, 55, also spread tacks on the driveway of the 51-year-old - who was forced to change her phone numbers.

The jobless salesman, of Tiverton, Devon, was nicked - and admitted harassment.

Exeter JPs adjourned sentence for reports.

original article here

Holiday Greetings from an Online Predator

(he must be in heaven... on TV and something to send all his proxies, targets and friends to prove what a "nice guy" he is... classic obfuscatory move by a predator!)
*************

The Ceaseless Internet Mask of Doug Beckstead

Doug Beckstead just can't get enough of his own voice or writing (very similar to fellow cyberpath Yidwithlid). Doug makes sure his self-aggrandizing writing, constant hunt for friends (digging back as far as college & high school to find them!) and blatant display of old high school acquaintances from 30 years ago are apparently online.

Cyberpaths FREQUENTLY do this after being exposed hoping that old friends who don't know about their predatory secret lives will unwittingly 'stick up for them' using multiple posts and to push exposes like EOPC down on any searches for their name(s). This also covertly harasses their victims and helps in the cyberpaths efforts to make those they used & abused look "crazy". EOPC knows better!

It's such obvious self-promoting P.R. - we are shocked anyone with any sense continues to believe it. (our comments in dark blue)

BECKSTEAD SHAMELESS USES NATURAL DISASTER FOR MORE ATTENTION!

Here's a few of Beckstead's latest Mental Droppings from around the net:

http://www.mylife.com/dog_driver
Facebook & Yahoo Chat Groups have not been enough for this predator, he continues to advertise for more "friends" on the above. Must keep up appearances!! Twitter is next folks!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SAHS77/message/179
"I've attached the third in my series of "Memos from Mortaritaville" to let everyone know what's happening over there. All-in-all it was one hell of an adventure. I did things that I never could have imagined two years ago. And I got to see things that I had only seen on National Geographic programs before. I've seen houses made of mud bricks just like they've been made of four thousands of years and I've seen the palaces of Saddam Hussein and his perverted flaunting of the nation's wealth (and yes, I even took a leak in one of his golden toilets!)." - Beckstead

TOO MUCH INFORMATION Doug! As if we really all need to know where you're using the bathroom! Typical bad boundaries with a cyberpath.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SAHS77/message/309
"It's great seeing everyone tossing ideas around about getting together following holidays. I sure wish I could make it back for one."- Beckstead

Translation of what this predator is saying: "It is much easier for me to con you from a distance than to have you so up close and seeing how hollow & exploitative I really am."

This proves he does not see these "friends" as frequently as he has so often alluded to and lied about. Nor do they see and truly KNOW what he does behind a keyboard with his pants down. Besides it is easier to lie and keep the fantasies and lures more believable from a distance for a predator like Doug Beckstead. He craves and fishes for the constant praise and attention. Classic Narcissist.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SAHS77/message/322
"Merry Christmas!
Doug and Carol Beckstead"

Pretending to show a united front by signing for the often-betrayed wife as well. Just like Jacoby, Gash, Yid with Lid, Capers, Thomas and the rest of these married cyberpaths.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SAHS77/message/418
"I too can attest to the impact made by letters received from both friends and strangers alike when deployed. Occasionally one of the people from our Chaplains Office would come through HQ and drop off a few letters or post cards from people back home. It was always a pleasure to read them. When they had return addresses I would pick up some post cards at the BX and write a short "thank you" back to them. Every one of the letters that I received while in Iraq came home with me."- Beckstead

Pumping up his true (somewhat low) importance with his new favorite word "deployed". Elmendorf Air Force Base has been told this man has a proven predatory history and yet the Chaplain's Office hands this predator future victims on a platter? And Beckstead is NOT an enlisted man. He is NON MILITARY. This is a real slap at the men & women who truly protect countries like the U.S.A. to have a pathological liar like Beckstead piggybacking on their service.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SAHS77/message/433
"And yes, we wear body armor and everyone is armed here. The only place I go without my "best friend" is the shower and the gym. If you want to try something really fun, try eating dinner with an M-16 between your legs and the butt cradled against your arm (we can't lay them on the floor due to the tripping hazard). I think I'll be down to my old high school fighting weight by the time I leave here. Nothing like carrying around 65 pounds of body armor to take off the pounds."- Beckstead

Sympathy lures abound when reading this post in its full entirety (see link above). And the narcissistic bragging is all over the post!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SAHS77/message/437
"I try and be friendly and professional around them. Although the other day we passed a couple who were definitely not friendly. Their "Spidey Sense" goes up a few notches in those cases."
"You never know what could be lurking underneath." - Beckstead

Spoken like a true predator. Takes one to know one.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SAHS77/message/445
"RE: [SAHS77] Pics from Afghanistan"
"My most humble thanks Anne."
"To clarify the whole rank thing, I am actually a civilian with the Air Force. I am not a contractor. I work directly for the commanding general here on the base and back home when I get there."
"I live and work in sort of a gray area between the civilian and active-duty worlds. The vast majority of civilians who work for the Dept of Defense never deploy. With my job it is a requirement that I deploy because I am considered an "Emergency-Essential" employee. At Elmendorf AFB, where I work, there are four of us in that catagory, out of approximately 6,000 civilian employees." - Beckstead

Beckstead has attracted the attention he so desperately craves and works HARD for with his writing here, so he embellishes, overblows and twists the reality a little further for effect for those who are clueless to his true nature.

For those who have been following this predator's trail of lies and deceit, you will notice how he is no longer referring to himself as the "dedicated historian". Now he portrays himself as one of Elmendorf's elite - an "Emergency Essential" no less.

What happened to be "being sent to write about history as it happens?" (Beckstead's own words) Like all these pathologicals, things change on the spot - as needed - to get what they must have - victims!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SAHS77/message/446
A Movement in the Shadows
"They knelt as one body keeping their arms straight down to their sides. Then, after a few seconds, the man who was apparently the leader bent at the waist, placed his outstretched hands on the ground, then placed his forehead on his hands. The group then followed his movements as a single body. Their movements were fluid, almost like watching water flowing in a stream."

When you click on this link (see above) you will notice a sudden change of his dramatizations & writing style - proving yet again he truly is, as all cyberpaths are, a chameleon for the cause - HIS OWN. He uses words and self-inflated reports to baffle brains. Beckstead knows how to pull out all of the stops to impress the ladies & men - who really don't know any better, as you will see when you read the replies to some of his posts.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SAHS77/message/448
The Bagram Bazaar
19 September 2009
"A walk down the rows of stalls was almost like walking through an Indiana Jones movie. The first thing to impact you is the visual stimulation of a rainbow of colors. The vendors have hung fabric of red, yellow, blue and green to designate their shop space. They also extend out over the walkways providing a sort of billowing awning. The bright fall sun intensifies their brilliance and imparts a colorful hue to the scene."

Here Beckstead rolls out the descriptive imagery to reel everyone in on his magical mystery tour of Bagram. His attempts are very transparent to his victims (as they have all written to us), as over the top and truly pathetic. Not too many bites from his clueless followers this time around. Wonder if they are beginning to catch on to Mr Crucial "Emergency essential"? Self-promotion gets tired after a while but he and cyberpath Yid with Lid can't see to grasp that. No true pathological would.

"One man, who was selling all sorts of carved wooden items, including some beautiful intricately carved wooden boxes, said that they would make a wonderful gift for my wife. I asked him what made him so sure that I was married?"
"He replied, “You don't have wife?”
"I said, “Yes, I have two,” holding up two fingers."
"He held up two fingers with a look of puzzled amazement on his face and asked, “Two? You have two wives?” - Beckstead

Forever the facetious con-man Beckstead laps it up by playing more head games, this time with the wary locals. A big kick for Beckstead, but truly unnecessary. Not giving the locals a nice impression of the ethics of the U.S. military, are you Beckstead?

Like all our exposed predators, they can't help but go a step too far! Now Beckstead compares himself to Alexander the Great just because he is allegedly walking the same soil. (him and how many other 1000s of people over the ages? but Beckstead has to squeeze some polish for his image out of everything!) Truly pathetic. If only these people REALLY knew!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SAHS77/message/453
"Hmmm, I could have sworn that there were pictures with the first message I sent out about the Bazaar. Oh well, I'll just forward them around again.

Life is definitely hopping over here. The bad guys keep letting us know they're serious about trying to throw us out. But little do they know ...

Our base sits in the Hindu Kush mountains. It's a rather historic area. Just the other day I was out walking and took a good long look at the rugged mountains that surround us. Then it dawned on me. I was looking at the same view that Alexander the Great saw when he came through here in 327 BC and Ghengis Khan saw when he came through the area. Damn, there's some major history here.

Does anyone remember the Swedish exchange student we had at SAHS in our senior year? Her name was xxxx. I took her out to Valley Forge to one of those crazy Rev War things I used to be involved with. She really put a damper on it the whole Bicentennial thing when she told me, "I don't understand what you Americans are so excited about only 200 years of history. The town I live in is 700 years old."

Well, now that I'm here in Afghanistan, walking in the same places that Alexander the Great walked when he conquered people who had already been living here for thousands of years, somehow American history just seems so, uhhh, young.

So xxxx, here are your pictures. See, I really did ride the camel!"

At least Beckstead seems to have a new girlfriend in the Middle East. ;)

A REVIEW - 1/2006 PREDATOR OF THE MONTH

A review of our January 2006 Predator of the Month
BRAD DORSKY

This is a review of our January 2006 POM
This guy's a great example of the most predominant, garden-variety type of cyberpath. Maybe because he's young and just getting his 'internet-predator chops.'

He's got all the sauve of a dead light bulb once you get past the initial nice guy facade. He appears to us to be probably narcissistic & psychologically sadistic. (Did we mention that at the time of his expose - he still lived with his mother?) He doesn't want money, he doesn't really want sex either. This is the type that SAYS he wants a relationship but is such a misogynist that he just throws out the ole seduction wamma-jamma, gets some nice young lady in his web of lies and toys with their mind. An emotional rapist.

Any guy who purposefully picks on the younger girls, grooms them the same way pedophiles groom their targets and then twists them like this deserves to be exposed. He sent our JERK-O-METER way up!! - Fighter

Brad Dorksy
Age: 28
Location: Cape Cod Area, Mass., USA

(since the original posting of this story, Mr. Dorsky seems to have removed all his dating profiles as well as his MySpace profile.)

One of his victims tells her story (with comments & internal links from Fighter):
"Where do I begin? He likes to start online relationships with girls, usually younger than himself, and never turn them into anything real... instead he only brainwashes them into becoming his little disciples. (picks on the young & naive, what a coward! These guys always prey on the young and/or the wounded) He'll tell her he loves her and wants to see her soon, but it will never materialize; he will always find excuses not to see her. (RED FLAG NUMBER ONE) If she takes the initiative, he will make sure to limit the time they have to see each other by running off somewhere and then insist it was her fault. If he actually had an education, he would be a great politician or one of those TV preachers because he is charismatic and cunning, and he can charm people into listening to him and following him. (sees LURES OF THE ONLINE PREDATOR - narcissistic type)

"Unfortunately, he has no college education, works shitty retail jobs, and lives with his mom, and he doesn't care to educate himself any further. For someone who doesn't earn a lot, he spends money like crazy- buying nice cars, going to 5 concerts a month, etc... (RED FLAG #2)

"Here's some more fun facts about Brad. He is probably a destructive narcissist; he thinks he is a god; the world revolves around him, and those who doesn't acknowledge how talented/unconventional/rebellious/beautiful /sexy he is become nothing to him. He probably changes 5-6 musical projects a year because the other band members "just don't appreciate his amazing musical talent"! (RED FLAG #3)
"Another of Brad's obvious points is that he is controlling and emotionally abusive. (surprise! NOT! RED FLAG #4) If his current target doesn't regurgitate his lies about how great he is back to him or disagrees with him, he'll cut her off for a few months or punish her by limiting Internet conversation time or not allowing to view his webcam, and even if there was no fight, it's always up to HIM as to how much the webcam can be on! ("J"/ gridney did this same thing!) During the relationship,he will periodically ask her if she's going out with other men and insinuate that all women are sluts. (RED FLAG #5) It will seem as if he's making an exception in this case, but guess what- he believes that in the end, every woman is still secretly a slut and deserves his contempt, or he wouldn't be asking her about other men.

"Of course, at first, he will seem so sweet and kind and empathetic, and he will say just the right things, reaching out to his target of the moment and comforting her, but as time goes on, she will see that nothing she does will ever be good enough, and he will imply that she needs to improve herself, since only then will he feed you the line that he MAY take the chance of making the Internet relationship a real life one. No matter how much she improves herself, he will still find faults, and because of that, he will refuse to come and see her until she's done something that captures his attention. (RED FLAG #6)


"How can I forget!... He claims he's never had sex with a girl (at 28!! with HIS ego? ...yeah right), and he will use that to manipulate and abuse her the most. (RED FLAG #7) Once he has his prey hooked, he will start telling her his fantasies and talk dirty (saying that she's his soulmate and the only woman with whom he would even think about having sex), and then, he'll say that if she wants to have sex with him, she must be his sex slave (his words, not mine) and do whatever he tells her to sexually, without questioning, because you see, he knows best what fits her personality. (He's a prize, isn't he? gag - RED FLAG #8)

"He will tell her about controlling the way she dresses and changing her style to make it more revealing; he will constantly try to coerce and manipulate her into anal sex, because he is very upfront about loving the sense of complete control anal sex gives him and without it, this relationship just won't be as deep and fulfilling (i.e. consider it over! There's nothing wrong with anal sex in the context of a loving relationship, but there's something wrong when it's being used as a weapon of emotional & mental abuse and control!) (wait didn't he tell her he was a virgin?? LOL!!)

"And, yes, he WILL talk about having threesomes with his male friends and then say that he was "joking", yet the next day, start talking about them in very graphic detail. (NO BOUNDARIES!! RED FLAGS #9, 10 and 11) He doesn't care if a girl hates it; if his target tries to tell him so, he'll ignore it or even suggest that she secretly wants to have a threesome because "she's the kind of girl who can't be satisfied with just one guy" or because she'll be so ecstatic after him that she won't care if another guy joins in (again, implying that she is a slut). He uses phrases like "take full control of you," "have my way with you," and "invade your ____ (insert body part)" during these conversations (he doesn't say anything about invading your mind first though!). (RED FLAGS #12 & 13. WAY TO GO BRAD!! REAL women must be beating down your door!!... probably from the inside to run away!!)
"What's the catch? These poor girls, who don't know about each other's existence, are all listening to the same lies and trying to change themselves for him, while he is busy on the personals websites, making up ads full of different lies, to hook more new disciples. (RED FLAG #14) It doesn't matter whether he introduced himself as goth or conservative; he is EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY & VERBALLY ABUSIVE, and he will make no qualms about it- he wants to control her mind, and if she wants to turn the Internet relationship into a real-life one, he will want to control her life. (RUN FOR THE HILLS!!)

If Brad approaches you on the Internet or anywhere else, RUN! It may be hard because he's so charismatic & charming online, but he is absolutely frightening underneath, and he will only get worse as time goes on. He does not deserve your time, money, or love."
(Brad, you get 10 NET-SICKNESS BAGS from us! We'll see more from him as this month goes on - Fighter)