BECKSTEAD - 'PROJECTOR' EXTRAORDINAIRE!

More from just one of the bunch of Beckstead's victims we heard from since his initial exposure three years ago:
(EOPC's comments are in Dark Blue.
EOPC has linked some of our other exposed Cyberpaths throughout this article in our ongoing efforts to point out the PATTERNS & SIMILARITIES between these predators and to support our victims by letting them know: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!)

I was starting to see that Beckstead was so full of it and I was ignoring my gut instinct because of his twisted talk and blame-shifting. He would always lay the guilt trip back on me, accusing me of everything that he, himself had committed. (that's called PROJECTION)

It just about did my head in trying to keep up with his BS and 'word salad.' (that's called SCHIZOPHASIA)

The one thing though, he did have a lousy memory and that is what eventually tripped him up. (that's what tripped up Ed Hicks, Jeff Dunetz/ Yidwithlid and Brad Dorksy) That and the fact that I did hold onto a good deal of the conversations down the track because I my gut told me he had a devious and sneaky side.
A couple of us caught him red handed several times in the VIP chatroom flirting with others while telling us we were his "one and only." His lies rebounded on him with me because I was always quick to point out fact from fiction when I noticed a distinct slip up. (Ohhhh Cyberpaths just LOVE when you catch them! NOT!) I became very savvy to them in those last months.

I just kept on asking the questions, he could not stand it any longer. I was no longer willing to play his whipping girl. (of course, so he D&D'd you)

These predators all start somewhere, and as with all abuse, sooner or later it escalates. What makes this guy truly depraved is that he leans in on women that he knows are in a vulnerable situation. (no that makes this guy EXACTLY like all of them- deeply depraved - please read the rest of the stories in our right hand margin. Remember: PREDATORS HUNT THE WOUNDED) He comes in on a rescue mission, only with ulterior motives in mind. He took advantage of my situation and he hurt me. I tried to tell him that, but then I was accused of more "name calling". (PROJECTION again. They all do this rescue routine.)

His style, looking back was to give the impression that every woman was "after him", when god knows why they would be. (that's common - they are all SOOO desirable when its THEM that start and encourage their victim's interest. Players, cyberpaths, sociopaths, narcissists - ALL SAY THAT - nothing special about Beckstead. They are all so alike its sad - can't these guys think of something new? BTW - look at Beckstead's pictures - Johnny Depp he's NOT!)

He comes after you, he hunts you until he gets what he wants then abandons you by playing mind games and of course, if you call him on it, it is "all in your imagination." (Typical. Again, please read Keith Clive, Brad Dorsky, Dunetz/ Yidwithlid and Mike Campbell)

I just needed a sympathetic friend, someone I could talk to and trust in a time of need. (again PREDATORS HUNT THE WOUNDED) I did not need this manipulating piece of work to turn my life and that of my families upside down and then pretend as if nothing had happened. (you are NOT alone -- this is the M.O. of all these cyberpaths - they are remorseless and could care less about anyone but themselves)

More blather from Beckstead. -- At this time - this victim CAUGHT Beckstead cybering with another victim nicknamed KITTY. Of course, Beckstead, like all of them DENY DENY DENY and PROJECTION!

Doug now tries to use Social Networking and other groups to repair his image and troll for more victims. He posts loads of pictures of his time in Iraq as if he's an actual Serviceman. CLICK HERE FOR BECKSTEAD'S FACEBOOK PAGE

It's all Beckstead... all the time. YAWN!

>From: "Doug Beckstead" <>
>Subject: RE: Good Afternoon!
>Date: Thu, 16 Mar 2006
>
>>Well, this totally e-mail proves that it was not KITTY in there and in fact
>it was YOU who was impersonating her. You were not simply "lurking" as you
>are continually claiming. (what a liar! and why are you upset Dougie? Got caught? Didn't ya?)
>
>If you recall from the conversation that you participated in the only thing I said was that I would like to meet her and take her out to dinner and drinks. Nothing more. Anything else was simply a matter of what you wanted to dream up. I have made similar offers to others who I have met online because I, unlike yourself and others, would like to be able to meet the people I speak with to see what they are like in real life, and vice versa. (Dougie tries to MINIMIZE, BLAME SHIFT and PROJECT. Gag)
>
>At this point, as far as I am concerned you can go your own way and enjoy manipulating people online by trying to make them think that you are someone you are not. (HAHAHAHA! Why should she when YOU are the one so good at that Doug!)

You have gone to great lengths to accuse others in the VIP of similar dastardly acts (among them KITTY, XXX and others) and yet you yourself are one of those who is doing it. I only wish I had not been so blind for so long. (Oh come on Doug, you're just mad SHE'S not BLIND TO YOUR BULLCRAP ANYMORE!!! Him, Clive, Dorsky, Jeff Dunetz/ Yidwithlid, Thomas and Hicks - same bull, different receptacle)
>
>Enjoy your games. Because I am not going to be a victim of any more of them. (Doug has games of his own he wants to play but he can't take what he dishes out) I can no longer trust anything about your or anything you say. (look in a mirror on that one Doug)
>
>Do not e-mail me at my office because this morning I will have your e-mail address blocked. (oooo!! what a threat!!)
>
>Have a good life because I am out of it from here on. Make all the threats you like and insult me as much as you would like if it makes you feel better about it. But I'm out of it. (Sounds like you are insulting one, Beckstead - all powerful behind a keyboard)
>
>Doug

>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beckstead Yet Again - Used the Victim for a Cyber-Punching Bag
Beckstead's Cyber-Tantrum because he GOT CAUGHT: Another example of his projection of blame and his narcissistic rage (when someone's got a clue to his REAL intentions):

Let's call this THE GREAT CELL PHONE DEBACLE.

In the beginning he offered to buy me a cell phone and a webcam. (Dunetz/Yidwithlid did this with his Target #2. They try to turn real, caring women into FREE PORN BABES!) I refused to accept either, because I did not ever want to be accused of having ever asked for a cent from him. I never asked anything of him financially ever and never would.

As it happened I did eventually buy my own cell phone and webcam (the webcam I took back as it was clear what he was expecting from me - a free sex show! -- and I was not willing to go there). (Same as Dunetz/ Yidwithlid, Jacoby, Clive and Dorsky - they wanted free porn - all you were to them was an OBJECT, not a real person - some of these cyberpaths take YOUR pictures and post them on boards for other sex addicts or sell them as homemade porn online!)

Once he realized that I'd caught on to what he really wanted from me (cybersex and that was all) there were more excuses of avoidance. Once I had my own cell phone, he made every excuse as to why he could not call or text, yet I have family and friends who have never had any trouble in doing so.
(sounds like Dunetz/ Yidwithlid- telling his ex-friend of over 25 years why he "just couldn't call her" - Yet he could call Target #2, a woman he NEVER met who was across the country; 3-4 times a day -- ON HIS EMPLOYER'S CELLPHONE! They are very very much alike! Click and READ!

Making the connections to their patterns here, readers?)

When I asked direct questions, he would be very selective in answering. If I went back and asked the about the questions he missed, would only make him angry. (Dorsky, Hicks, Campbell - how dare you want TRUTH from them! LOL)

The mere mention of zabasearch.com and the ease of finding his home address in that last long email from him, sent him into overdrive. Is he hiding something? Yes most definitely!! (readers - we say this all the time! If you ask question and/or they won't allow you to do a background check or say you "don't trust them" -- get out IMMEDIATELY! And do that check on them ASAP!! They are hiding something! Anyone who's honest would not care.)

He was always threatening me that he would walk away, yet never did. He would wait until I made a move to rectify things. (Hicks, Dorsky, Dunetz/Yidwithlid - the EXACT same. Please read LURES OF THE ONLINE PREDATOR.) Because he played on my caring instincts.

Now since I no longer made that move it has been silent. I know now it would have been silent a lot sooner if I had not tried so hard to preserve what he made me believe we had and meant to one another. (he's moved on - has new objects, victims... er friends... LOL. The only person that means anything to him - is HIM)
Looking back, I wasted a lot of time on him. He was never worth any of it. (Yes but you are continuing to educate people about this type of cyberpath - and Doug is common. Nothing special here - so start reading readers! This is a great insight into a classic CYBERPATH!)

He made my life a misery. Beckstead turned from what I thought was a friendly confidante into someone who purposely used & traumatized me. He seduced & coerced me into thinking he was a genuine person. (SEDUCED and BRAINWASHED!)

I was trying to make a go of things for myself personally with my partner and family and he almost sabotaged that purposely because of his cruel head games. (Hicks ended up doing a year in jail and is back in for violating probation - he went RIGHT BACK to preying on 10 -12 women simultaneously using various aliases on Online Dating sites! on unlimited probation for his games & bigamy. Jeff Dunetz/ Yidwithlid contributed to 2 divorces and is continuing to blame his victims for his miserable life - Mike Campbell contributed to divorces and trauma for his victims. You are not alone!)

Interestingly enough, he told me his mother is an alcoholic, that he has no contact with her, that he detests her. (Read up on Narcissists and their relationship with their mothers. Beckstead's probably a misogynist too) He told me had to raise his younger siblings while his father was off onto his third wife. (and Beckstead's wife probably raised his kids while he was screwing around online & off with other victims) He has a religious background. (so does Mike Campbell, Dan Jacoby and Dunetz/ Yidwithlid they all profess to be VERY religious. Gag -- unless their 'place of worship' is their bathroom mirror!)

From: "Doug Beckstead"
Subject: Yes, I Am Mad Now (that you CAUGHT ME... AGAIN!)
Date: Mon, 21 Aug 2006

Alright, now I'm starting to get a bit bent out of shape here. This is not my fault yet you seem to have already made up your mind that it is, so I suppose I should simply say, go ahead, blame it on me and tell me that it must be something that I am doing wrong because I obviously do not have the same luck as you have when calling or texting from down there. It's all my damn fault! (yes Doug, it is) I'm totally incapable of working a damn cell phone -- even though I have been using one for years! (then how about an HONEST ANSWER!)

I just tried calling your cell phone number, the one that you sent on the cell phone and the one that you sent via the e-mail earlier today. I tried calling them on both my cell phone and my regular "land line." Neither one worked. (lie)

In fact, I got a computerized operator that said "If you are trying to make a call you must first dial XXX." In the case of ************ that is****. I tried calling your regular number and got a busy signal. (lie lie lie and the victim has no way of proving he's lying but considering that Beckstead does nothing BUT lie... you figure it out! --wink--)

I'm trying all I can from this end and what do I get back from your end ..... "it looks like another door closing from your end." Go ahead, think and believe what you want to think and believe. (She finally 'listened' to your ACTIONS Doug, not your WORDS. Because your words are garbage)

Well, if you are going to continually be blaming me and trying to see the worst thing possible then maybe I need to just call it quits here and just walk away. I answered your questions that I thought where the most important in that e-mail and all you do is jump on me saying that I didn't answer all of them. (LOL - this is all so much bull we'll just let you think up your own response for it, readers!)

Damnit I'm getting really tired of this. And yes, I am angry now. You act as though everything should work perfectly because someone on your end says it should work. Well, obviously it is not working. And what do you do? You insinuate that (1) I am not doing anything to try and find out why it doesn't work on my end, (2) I'm obviously not trying at all, and (3) I must not want it to work. (insinuate? or the logical conclusion from your selfish narcissistic behavior? Why don't you admit that the Beckstead family had a SHARED cell-phone provider and you would have had to explain certain phone calls around the country to your wife & kids?! Nope, Beckstead has to hurt yet another vulnerable person to TRAUMA BOND her to him further.)

Now, since I just tried calling your regular phone line and got a busy signal, should I assume that: (1) you obviously don't have time for me; (2) you don't want to talk to me; and (3) you're closing me out of your life. Of course not! Those are obviously assinine assumptions to make! (but of course the asinine one is you Doug, for taking a decent person for a sick ride. Online... where you can just click her on & off when you feel like it)

Why do you continue to do this and then expect everything to be just like it used to be? (because you made her promises and now you got bored and are projecting, Dougie)

BECKSTEAD - SEXUAL HARASSER? NOT HIM!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Facebook Harasser Hounds Woman from her Home

By Karon Kelly

(U.K.) A TERRIFIED mum was hounded out of her home by threats made on a social networking site by a woman who had already attacked her.

Danielle Rodgers took her children out of school and moved away from her family and friends because of her fear.

Newcastle Crown Court heard Miss Rodgers had been attacked by Roxanne Fox during a night out with friends in South Shields on January 31.

During the incident, Miss Rodgers was punched in the face up to five times and kicked in the legs as she shouted for help.

The day after the attack, Fox turned up at the home of Miss Rodgers's father and warned she was still "going to get her", the court heard.

In the 48 hours which followed, Miss Rodgers – who was "friends" with Fox on Facebook – received a series of threats on the Internet site.

James Adkin, prosecuting, told the court: "They were arguably vitriolic and definitely contained threats of further violence.

"She said it was going to be a 'hospital job' next time. She would find out where she was living, and that she had been looking for her and that it was not over, essentially."

Fox had attacked Miss Rodgers and her friend Danielle Taylor after a chance meeting as they all left Vogue nightclub in Anderson Street turned into a row.

While Miss Rodgers was punched and kicked, her friend Miss Taylor tried to intervene but was poked in the eye when Fox grabbed at her face.

Meanwhile, Fox's pal Louise Seales hit Miss Rodgers's other friend Judith Elliott over the head with a wine bottle, causing a lump and a cut.

Miss Elliott's daughter Kirsty Laing was also injured in the alteraction.

Fox, 28, of Prince Edward Road, South Shields, admitted affray and harassment.

Seales, 28, of Steward Crescent, South Shields, admitted assault causing bodily harm and common assault.

Gavin Doig, defending mum-of-two Fox, said the Facebook messages continued for just two days after the incident.

Mr Doig said: "They were empty words and nothing more, unpleasant words, but no actions followed from the threats."

Kevin Smallcombe, defending Seales, said the mum-of four has shown remorse.

Mr Recorder Richard Woolfall sentenced Fox to 20 weeks' imprisonment suspended for two years with supervision.

He also made a restraining order banning her from having any contact with Miss Rodgers for five years.

The Judge told Fox: "So bad was the impact on her, she has left her home, her family and her friends because she doesn't feel safe anymore living where she has been for some time."

Seales was sentenced to 12 months' imprisonment suspended for two years with supervision.

The judge said: "The pair of you should be absolutely ashamed of yourselves."

ONE OF BECKSTEAD'S TARGETS SHARES MORE OF DOUG'S E-BOMBS

We have a bunch of emails that Beckstead sent one of his Targets that we decided not to take up bandwith with. They just went on & on & on about Beckstead's favorite subject: HIMSELF. They read like the "all Beckstead all the time" channel. Even if we didn't know he was a predator - it was supremely egotistical and tedious.

This is very much like our predators Ed Hicks and Brad Dorsky. Doug really is a classic destructive narcissist - mostly in love with himself and only wanting to spend time with anyone that reflects the obsession he has with the object of all his affection: Doug Beckstead.

As always our comments are in Dark Blue.

One of his Targets tells us:
I was so hurt by Doug's accusations and lies. After I had busted Doug in the Virtual Irish Pub with a not so nice woman by the nickname of "Kitty" (she's a well known female player on that site). He wrote me and accused me of impersonating her! (typical, typical - he got busted so he's going to put YOU on the defensive. Gaslighting and Projection. Also notice despite 'Kitty's' reputation, Doug doesn't mind using whoever or whatever suits him at the time because no one is real to ole' Doug nor does he really care).

Doug never apologized for this attack! He sent an email back sometime later saying that "it must have been someone else then" and changed the subject after insulting my friend for something he had written. (they NEVER apologize - because they are NEVER wrong!)

CLICK HERE TO READ: HOW TO NOT APOLOGIZE WHEN YOU'VE SERIOUSLY MESSED UP. This is CLASSIC of cyberpaths - they NEVER TRULY APOLOGIZE. EVER!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>From: "Doug Beckstead"
>Subject: Greetings!
>Date: Fri, 16 Mar 2007 18:10:59 -0800
>
>
>Hi!
>
>Well, I stayed home again today. I'm planning on going back to work on Monday. I was all set to go in this morning, showered, dressed, and even had breakfast. (me, I, my....)

XXX came out to the living room and said "Gee, you sure aren't coughing very much anymore." And, just like clockwork I went into a coughing fit. So I waited until 7:00 when my boss should have been in and called in sick again. This damn influenza really sucks. I slept until noon again today, and probably could have stayed in bed even longer. I'm planning on sleeping in tomorrow. (oh geee Poor Poor Dougie!! boo hoo. His emails were full of how tired he was, how sick he was, how his family didn't care about him, how put out he was by his job, by other people... Martyr Man!)

Psychopaths have only a shallow range of emotions and lack guilt, says Dr. Hare. They often see themselves as victims, and lack remorse or the ability to empathize with others. "Psychopaths play on the fact that most of us are trusting and forgiving people," adds Seto. "The warning signs are always there; it's just difficult to see them because once we trust someone, the friendship becomes a blinder." -- SOURCE

(Now Beckstead launches immediately into more blather about himself:)
This afternoon I had a very enjoyable conversation with XX, the brother of Lt XXX, the pilot of the B-24. The Army contacted him yesterday and gave him the news about the remains being positively identified. He also told me that in the conversation they had, the Army rep told him that Lt XXX is entitled to be buried at Arlington National Cemetery in Washington DC with all the pomp and circumstance afforded fallen officers. This includes a caisson drawn by four horses to carry the coffin, a miltary band, honor guard, bugler and firing squad.

>The senator from Maine (the state they are from) has been a huge help with the whole process. She wants to come to the funeral at Arlington and to the memorial service they want to hold in Maine as well. According to Mr. XXX, she is also making arrangements for a VIP tour of the Whitehouse when the funeral is held. And, he said that they want me to be part of the group. (the White House will be so HONORED - Doug Beckstead is coming!)

While we were on the phone, his wife called to him and told him to make sure that he told me that none of this would have been possible had it not been for me. It was sure nice to hear it from him. (Wow!! Beckstead's such a wonderful guy - Of course he's GOT to make sure the whole world knows what a wonderful, altruistic person he is... gag)
>
>The funeral will not be until July at the earliest. So, I've got some time to lose some weight so I'll fit into my suit. Or to save up some scheckles to buy a new one for the funeral. (no comment - BTW, Doug took a picture of himself at this funeral and PHOTOSHOPPED it to slice off a pound or forty -- see below)

>I hope you're having a good weekend so far. (this is the FIRST AND ONLY TIME HE ACKNOWLEDGES THE TARGET or ANYONE ELSE - IN THIS WHOLE EMAIL! and LOADS of his emails were EXACTLY THE SAME)
>
>Cheers!
>
>Doug
>~~~~~~~~~~

Doug FREAKS out when one of his Targets got a little suspicious and joked that she looked up his address on ZABASEARCH. Which ANYONE can do!! As we say - just tell them you are looking them up or doing a background check and if they freak out? RUN!!! Honest & sincere people have nothing to hide.

From: Doug Beckstead
> Date: Mar 8, 2007 6:34 PM
> Subject: Zabasearch
>
> I have never lied to you about anything. My comment about "obsession" was brought on when you were searching out information, which was inaccurate to begin with, about my address in Fairbanks. I have never lied to you and I never led you on.
(This should really read: 'I have lied to you about EVERYTHING, absolutely everything. I have blown myself and my reputation up to God-like proportions and will make sure you never meet me to see what a loser I truly am. Beside, you mean nothing to me but an online sex toy who will worship me... and if you don't worship me - you're GONE!
I am freaked out that you are searching on me and now I am going to tell everyone you are a stalker and fixated on me - [all cyberpaths call those who might/ or do find out the truth "jealous stalkers"] -- I hope people believe me and I will say all manner of lies about you to make sure they are on my side!)
>
> I've missed your e-mails. (read: I need to reel you back in don't I? I can't chance losing control of you now that I've used & abused you!)
>
> Doug

[Psychopaths] are remorselessly vindictive when thwarted or exposed. - Source

> *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> **Squirrels are Nature's little speed bumps. (apparently so are Beckstead's online 'friends' in his eyes)

The subject matter in the email concerning Beckstead's trips in July 2007 to both Arlington, VA and Maine is all being tied into his next book. It concerns the B-24 crash that took place in Alaska back in 1943.

There is NO DOUBT he will use this book as part of his latest lure to reel in more targets. ("see what a great & important man I am - I write books!!") This is the manner (lure) in which he used his first book 'A World Turned Upside Down'.

He uses all of this information about his expeditions, findings, meetings with important people and events (which are part of his JOB!) to gain your trust. He uses these people to as "cover" behind because they all buy what a genuine and passionate guy he is about his job. He is a historian but to hear him tell it - it's not because of the job - it's because HE is THE Doug Beckstead. (A legend in his own mind)

"Their performance is generally erratic, with chronic absences, misuse of company resources and failed commitments. ...Seto talks of a [psychopath] who would get marketing jobs based on his image; he was a presentable and charming man who layered his conversations with educational and occupational references." -- SOURCE

It is this facade provided by his job that he uses to hide his true nature: which is [like all sociopathic types] cold, calculating, selfish and very manipulating. He is the classic predator: very convincing until you ask questions about his personal life or question the facts he gives out. He becomes nasty, hateful and accusatory. That is when the real Beckstead is revealed.

Cyberpaths NEVER learn any lesson. They sit quietly and bide their time - hoping things calm down and their Targets forget -- until they are ready to strike again - and strike again they ALL do. (look at Ed Hicks - he's back online, using new pseudonyms & telling the same lines and using the same methodology) Look closely at both of these recent posts below - read Beckstead's own words carefully.

Douglas Beckstead, like ALL CYBERPATHS, is a true chameleon who embellishes on any small truth for a cause - that cause? DOUG BECKSTEAD! This is how predators do it - they sprinkle their b.s. with bits of truth to make it all seem much more plausible.

Below he puts his own spin of words on his true occupation - embellishing himself as a practically a war hero! The reality? Beckstead has NEVER served in the military. He IS a civilian currently employed as a historian by the Air Force. Nothing more. (Like Thomas, who tells people he is CIA and Special Ops and the CIA, etc have NEVER heard of him! Or Phil Haberman who fakes his credentials both online & off.)

Make no mistake, Beckstead is being watched closely since the original exposure. He believes he is doing a lot of damage control with the: "look at me, I'm a good and decent guy" routine (Dunetz/ Yidwithlid is still doing this with his own website; Jacoby plays the concerned friend and helper to lure his Targets) will manage to con more people into his web of deceit. He even thinks he can get his buddies to write sites like EOPC to stick up for him if he can con them into believing this act too.

Beware ALL CYBERPATHS DO THIS - and it is all a grandiose put-on to maximize their own over-blown egos. Don't be the next to fall for someone like Beckstead's or any other cyberpath's embellishment, misleading and twisting of the truth and his pathological games.

"Psychopaths don't discriminate who it is they lie to or cheat," says Seto. "There's no distinction between friend, family and sucker." ...a psychopath rarely stays in a relationship for the long term, and often is involved with three or four partners at once, says Willson.

To a psychopath, everything about a relationship is a game. -- SOURCE

Beckstead's Comments:
"Really there's no difference (between military and civilians here). We're eating together, working together and living together. We're all in it together," Mr. Beckstead said. "I really try to break down that barrier of 'I'm a civilian and you're enlisted.' I like the fact we're wearing the same uniform. I just try to blend in as much as I can. We're all in the same fight together and we all have the same goal."

THIS COMMENT IS FROM THIS ARTICLE

Beckstead uses any opportunity, even the review of a music CD, for shameless-self-promotion (Dunetz/ Yidwithlid is a big on with this 'all-me-all-the-time' also) Note the red portion:

Fantastic !!!
author: Doug Beckstead
I ordered the CD while sitting over here in Iraq, believe it or not, I am actually at Mortaritaville (which is not Baghdad but Balad Air Base). I have listened to the CD so many times that I am afraid I have already worn the plastic coating off it. Or maybe its this damn Iraqi dust. Either way, the songs are great and as others have said, they really sum up what it's all about being here.

I hope they don't mind, but I used the song "We Hate Terrorists" as the background music for a slide show I did about the work we do on the helipad transporting wounded patients from the helos to the ER. It really summed up our feelings as we've dealt with men, women and even children (America, Iraqi and other nationalities) who have been blown up, shot, and in just plain bad situations. Thanks guys, I really enjoy the CD and have been pushing it on others recommending that they buy it too!

FROM THIS ONLINE SOURCE

Others have referred to "The dark side of normal - a psychopathy-linked pattern called aberrant self-promotion." (European Journal of Personality)

The personality attributes include:

• grandiosity
• pathological lying and deception
• superficial charm
• lack of empathy, guilt or remorse
• failure to accept personal responsibility
• shallow affect
• exploititiveness
  
• manipulativeness
  
• defensiveness in response to criticism
  
• need for dominance - with the primary reason to further their own self-interest.

- SOURCE

Doug Beckstead - More Excuses Than A Disgraced Politician

Let's read some of the wit & charm (and WORD SALAD) in our review of former Predator of the Month, Doug Beckstead. (See if you know an online "friend" like this!)
Beckstead loves bending his targets' ears with his 'tales of woe', his tales of his 'so busy & popular life' (so busy & popular he's online looking for decent women to target), his tales of how he was 'in law enforcement' (rrriiiiigggghhhhttt -- EOPC checked around for information to back this up. NONE WAS THERE. It was a fabrication or embellishment on Beckstead's part).

Doug's just 'so good with his family, friends and life in general' (so good that all EOPC saw was his whining & moaning about how lonely & unfulfilled he was. Including some mean spirited comments about his wife).

Who wouldn't want to be a part of this predator.... er, man's life after the rosy picture he painted of himself ?

He tries to portray a very normal picture of himself, he's "oh so busy" and has "oh so many friends" that want his time & energy. Why he's more popular than the ice cream truck in August isn't he?

Or is he?

One of the targets that contacted us was kind enough to share some of the email Beckstead sent her. (as always our comments are in Dark Blue)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: "Doug Beckstead"
To: XXXX
Subject: Okay, Here's a Long Answer to Your Long E-Mail

Good afternoon!

Well, this has been a real hectic day and I still feel like I have gotten absolutely nothing accomplished. I am soooooo frustrated with it. On top of all that, this morning I called home and XXX answered the phone "House of Pain. How can we hurt you?" (Cyberpaths get off on hurting people - but look out if you hurt them!)

It caught me totally off guard until she put XXX on the phone and she explained that she had fallen on the ice last night and injured her ankle and leg. She called the doctor this morning and he ordered up some x-rays at the hospital and asked her to bring them over to his office.

Just after lunch I got a call from the doctor (XXX was in the office and I talked to her too). Apparently she's got a sprained ankle and a broken leg!!! It looks like she broke the same bone you did except she broke it at the top of the bone near the knee not at the bottom by the ankle where it is generally broken. So, I'm heading to Anchorage in the morning instead of on Thursday night.

But, in the mean time I am going to answer what I think are your questions in your long e-mail. I printed it out and used my highlighter to make sure that I get what I think are all of the major points answered. If I miss any, please let me know. (And I am going to run the printed copy through the shredder when I'm done so there is no need to worry about someone in the office coming across it or something.) (oh come on Doug!! You will miss anything that's too pointed and asking you for a little honesty, right?)

Okay, here goes .......... (look out... here it comes) First, your comment about feeling like you're walking on eggshells pretty much sums up what's happening with me too. (blame shifting - he's using her and her gut is telling her he's playing her - watch him twist her mind. The targets of his that contacted us - he did the SAME thing with mild variations to each & every one!) For the last several month, it seems that if I don't respond to an e-mail right away, or if something happens that keeps me from getting on the computer when I said I would try to get on, generally results in some sort of angry response coming my way with statements about how I've lied to you or I must have something better to do with my time and have pushed you off to the side. All I am asking for is a bit of compassion here and some understanding that sometimes things get in the way of being able to read e-mails, open e-cards, or meeting on MSN. I realize that it seems like that is happening more and more over the last six months and I agree, it does seem like it has been happening more frequently. But, I do not know why it is, nor do I know what I can do to change it. (Target was walking on eggshells - with a Narcissistic Cyberpath. But notice how Doug does what they all do! Like Hicks, Dunetz/ Yidwithlid, Dorsky, Thomas - they are just ssoooooooo busy - how dare a Target ask for the same amount of consideration they expect from them? Excuses, Excuses, Excuses!!

BUT - if a Target decides they have had enough of it? And they ask Beckstead - or any cyberpath - for the same in return? It's like you asked for their kidney with no anesthesia. The Cyberpath does NOT want his victims to fall too far out of his "control zone." How DARE they ask for accountability from the Predator, like Beckstead! Major Red Flag. He needs them where he can play them like puppets... not somewhere they may get a clue that he's a compulsive liar & user.

Besides Beckstead is an ATTENTION HOG. He doesn't just like attention - HE HAS TO HAVE IT ALL!)

I explained that the e-cards, although I do enjoy them, are something that I cannot open at work. Sometimes they get lost in the shuffle with other e-mails coming in. (The I-Am-Mr. Popular excuse! gag...)

Recently my friend in Washington DC sent me about 50 forwarded news articles from the Washington Post (the local newspaper back there). When he does that, everything gets shuffled down a few pages in my Hotmail box and sometimes things get overlooked. I try to answer all of your e-mails and I try to open all of the e-cards when I get them. If they happen to land in my box before one of his mass mailings, then sometimes I don't think to scroll down the list and back through the pages. Please understand this. I realize that you have taken time to make sure you are on the computer when we are trying to meet up, but sometimes things do happen. There have been times when I've come online and you have not been there and I simply chalk it up to you had something else that took you away and leave it at that. I don't get upset and I sure don't hold it against you. (Of course not! One less Target to juggle for Doug!! Why you'd think he was 007 with all these people who need him! How about - 'I forget when I am cybering with one of the other gals I have on a string telling them "I LOVE YOU & ONLY YOU" too'.)

A prime example is when ******** had her surgery. When I didn't hear from you I just figured, "Okay, things are not going as well as expected and she'll get to me when she can." I knew that it would not do any good to get upset because I had no control over what was happening on your end. (Cyberpaths love to take YOUR personal information and deepest thoughts and turn it on you. But if you do it to them - look out! Incoming!)

Moving on to the next part … I made the comment about being "backed into a corner" because that is the way I've been feeling for a while. No matter how I try and explain the situation, I keep being asked about making plans to come to ********* for a visit. While it is something that I would very much like to do, and something that I have every intention of doing at some point in the future, I cannot commit to coming down by a certain date (month, year, etc.). (oh of COURSE not, why meet someone when toying with her online is so much more fun! Just keep leading her on thinking you are coming to visit her and thank GOODNESS they are either in another country or thousands of miles away, phew!)

As we've talked about before, I am working two jobs in an attempt to make ends meet up here. There isn't disposable income ("at the end of the day" to coin that wonderful **** phrase you use so much) to permit me to lay solid plans for coming down there. There isn't much that I can give up that could go into the bank for such a trip. I'm already cut to the bare bones. If things change in the near future (or the far future) that could very well change and I can come down. But, for now it is something that I cannot promise. The last thing I want to do is to get your hopes up by saying I'll be there and then have you let down because I couldn't do it. (the LAST thing? Notice how GALLANT he is! Sounds like Dunetz/ YidwithLid or Thomas! Couldn't be more full of **** if he tried.)

Again, I'm trying to remain realistic so neither of us gets shot down. (NEITHER? and REALISTIC? Beckstead? LOL!) This does not mean that I have not got the same feelings about you as you do me. Nor does it mean that I do not have the intention of coming down to meet you. I do not think that you are trying to railroad me into any "shotgun wedding" or anything like that, nor do I think you are looking for a meal ticket nor a father for your kids. I have never suspected anything like that on your part. I know you would never think that nor expect that. Granted, there are folks like that on the Internet in the chat sites, but I've sensed all along that you are genuine in what you say. A bit on the timid and secretive side, but honest and genuine at the same time. (he had to get that SECRETIVE dig in, did ya' see that?

But here's PROOF that Beckstead was CONFIRMING (lying) to her, and all of them, that he FELT THE SAME, emotionally - as his prey. Of course now he says they 'misread his intentions' and are 'scorned' - bullpocky! He VALIDATED, ENCOURAGED and INITIATED the online romance.

Of course, that's projection - the secretive one is him. Cyberpaths will say things like this to get YOU to give up your secrets but they have zero intention of giving up theirs. They never tell the truth - even to themselves. Its all a big game to them - while they expect you to believe every word they say as gospel -- or else!)

As for taking the next step in our relationship, I would like for nothing more than to do that. I am just as frustrated as you are, probably even more so because I want to come down south really bad. Again, it's just the reality of the situation that is preventing us from being able to pull it off. Yes, I have pulled back sexually. (pulled back or too many women online? like all narcissists: the truth is - he got BORED) I tried to explain it during our conversation Friday night. It is in part because of my confusion of not knowing what was happening with our relationship, whether it was on or off, and for how long it would be on again before it was off again. And it is also because I have been very tired at times when things got a bit "worked up." Believe me, that is not something that I ever wanted to have to admit to, being too tired for sex! That's something that happens to old people, not me!!! There have been some comments made over the last few months that have really stung me. The comments about "stroking my ego" and how I am "so full of [my]self" really hurt. Those more than anything were like a cold slap in the face. And they've come on more than one occasion several months apart. When I am told things like that, I have to really wonder if that is how you really feel. (awwww Doug, wahhh wahhh wahhh - guilt tripping!)

My statement about sitting back and "patiently waiting" was what I planned to do because I knew that you have been under a lot of stress at home from a variety of fronts. First with ********* surgery, then with the problems with *****, and finally with the anniversary of your mother's death all hitting at the same time. I knew it a long time ago that things would start getting rocky. So, the best way for me to deal with it was going to be to try and remain in the background, offering the support I could, and let you work your way through it. There really wasn't much else that I could do. If I tried responding to your e-mails then I would have just inflamed the situation even more and that would have done no good for anyone. (wow this sounds like Dunetz/ Yidwithlid who ran away when Target #1s estranged husband started hacking her computer and found out about him. And then Target #1 was being seriously abused BECAUSE OF HIM and needs his support - he says: "its best if I leave"...

And Hicks with his "its for the best" -- Best for WHO, guys?)

It was a big relief to me when you called. I had planned on letting it go for a couple of days then either calling you or writing you. (sssuuuurrreeee you did) I just didn't want to push. I am not an aggressive type of guy when it comes to relationships. (why should he be when the internet provides endless supply) I've learned over the years that it doesn't do any good and in fact can really cause some permanent damage if I do start acting that way. (you've already done permanent damage, you predator) So, that's what you get with me. Yes I still want you in my life. I don't understand why you would ask something like that in the first place. I don't know what I can realistically do to make it any more clear to you. I do love you and I do care greatly for you and your kids. (And, as I said before, I don't think you are looking for a meal ticket or anything like that – but if I could, I'd be proud to serve as a surrogate father for your kids too!) Perhaps things have dropped down a rung or two but there is no reason why they cannot climb right back up. But, the way I feel about you has not changed. (Doug doesn't want to lose any one of his "toys" er.... online girlfriends)

After the holidays, after I get back from Anchorage, I'll try to make more time to talk with you between jobs and on my day off. But, I do not want, nor do I expect you to make any changes in your life to accommodate me. I realize you want to and you are willing to do so, but as I said at the outset, there are times when things come up and our lives just take us to other places for the time being. And sometimes our families need time with us too.

One good thing is that I am still looking for a new place to live. That will make it a lot easier for talking on the phone, etc. as well because I will have my own place, my own phone and my own connection to the Internet without having anyone else muddling around with it. (muddling? another excuse?)

A friend of mine in the office is moving to Anchorage in March and I'm already talking with him about possibly renting his cabin after he's gone. I have to get over and see it, and talk with the landlord, etc. about a couple of things I'd like to try and do (like installing a shower for one!). But if that works out, then it will be a really good deal for me. Not only will I have my own place, but it also has a wonderful view from what XXX has said. In the mean time, he's going to Belize for six weeks as a graduation present for himself (he just finished his Master's degree).

I know some of this is not what you want to hear, but I'm trying to be totally honest with you here. (only liars use phrases like "I am being totally honest" or "this is a true story" or "I am not lying to you" -- its an NLP imbedded command to get you to believe them!) I don't want to make any promises that I might not be able to keep. I don't want to set you up for more hurt. (because then you might get wise to me) You mean as much to me as anyone else in the world (even my kids) and that is a whole lot. (rrrriiiiigggghhhtttt. Again, setting this particular Target up for guilt for ever doubting him!) I don't want anything to change between us, but I do hope that you understand where I am coming from with all of this. In the mean time, I think I'd better wrap up here and get ready to head over to my other job. I decided to stay at the office today and put in some more time so I could leave early on Thursday. But now since I have to leave tomorrow it really doesn't matter anymore anyway.

At least it gave me the time to sit down, uninterrupted, and answer your e-mail. I will try and check my e-mail when I get home tonight. But, I also have to get packed and everything to head south in the morning. And, I hope to get a good night's sleep in the meantime. The roads are pretty icy so I need my wits about me. I'll send you a note when I get down there (but it might not be until Thursday (your Friday)). I'll let you know what happens.

I love you and you are a big part of my life. I don't want that to change. (because if I give you too much space, breathing room and time to THINK - you might have enough time to see what a sociopathic tale-teller I am)

Love, Doug

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he has stopped to fix
something with duct tape.

— Henry David Thorough

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OOO Aren't we oh so profound? and humorous?


Here's an earlier one from the most honest man in Alaska!

From: "Doug Beckstead"
To: XXX
Subject: RE: Status

Hi!

I got your e-mails from today. It is not me that is cold, heartless and turning my back on you. (blame shifting, guilting -- in one short sentence! .... sound familiar readers?)

That is something that you have created in your mind. (and now GASLIGHTING)

I have been subjected to insults, called a liar, and every other name in the book over and over by you. All for no reason whatsoever. As for why things can't go back to where they were before, well, read the fourth sentence again. (all for no reason? according to who? Notice how he doesn't even try to apologize!! just talks about his anger and his hurt feelings)

I got your e-mail last night but did not respond because my body is trying to adapt to the change in my blood pressure medication. It's causing some really weird side-effects. On the up side, it's dropped my bp by 30 to 40 points. On the down side it looks like I'm probably not drinking enough fluid right now so I have to increase that to get back on an even keel. (sympathy ploy - another big one with Cyberpaths and other men who have online or offline affairs. THEY are sick, the wife/ kids are sick... not ONE word about the Target's state of mind! There's that cyberpath's zero empathy effect!!)

Things are very hectic here with the full house. XXX and XXX are heading home on Saturday morning. I'm not looking forward to their leaving. I'm having a really good time with them.
(whoa, Beckstead went from indignant -- to wanting sympathy for his health -- to how busy he is. Notice how he's training this Target to feel guilty for questioning him & to just DROP it whenever he seems like he might just pull away. It's: All Doug All The Time!)

Hugs,
Doug
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dolor temporarius.
Gloria aeterna.
Cicatrices virginibus placent.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yet another missive from Beckstead

From: "Doug Beckstead"
To: XXX
Subject: HI!!!

Hi there!

I'm sorry I dropped off the face of the earth! The Internet in our dorms/hotel has been down for the last six days! It has been soooooo frustrating not to be able to check our e-mail. But, it looks like it's back up now. (anyone else seeing a pattern of excuses? Doug seems to be just loaded with them. Martyr Man)

In the event that you're checking your mail now, I just wanted to send off a quick note while I run downstairs and put my laundry in the machine. I'm hoping to get it done early tonight. (don't forget about me because I need to not give you time to breathe and realize I am messing with your mind! I need to reel you back in! Get you back in my CONTROL ZONE)

Love and hugs!
Doug

PS: I see that there are a few e-mails (and cards) from you. I just want to get this on its way before I look at those.
(How about "I already looked at them - They were good! I may cut, paste and use them to send along to my other targets.... er friends..."?)

For those of you who've read this site for a while - Doug's a real classic - This probably all sounds sickeningly familiar.

Beckstead remained demanding and belligerent of his targets time, yet when the shoe was on the other foot? Nothing. He gave back nothing in return other than grief! Even when his targets figure him out and make it clear to him to "STAY AWAY"? Beckstead's reaction: he claimed to be "amused." (misogynistic reaction) Then he just carries on with the projection and blame shifting. Beckstead accepts NO, ZERO responsibility what-so-ever. (none of them ever do.) A clear sign of mental pathology!