ONLINE RELATIONSHIPS: THE ART OF MISPERCEPTION

Is "real" love possible to attain via computer? There are many factors that come into play when two people fall in love. Some cannot be described in a definitive way; such as chemical attraction. Other factors are qualities that we find in another person that compliment our desires of a “perfect” mate. Honesty, integrity, loyalty, caring, a fun loving personality and good morals are just a few of these qualities. Many woman and men alike, have “fallen in love” over the internet. They have done so, without the possibility of truly seeing any of these qualities in the other person. So before we put our hearts on the line, we must ask ourselves; is it truly possible to love someone via computer?

The majority of people who believe they have discovered true love without actually meeting the other person, have done so by implementing a type of instant messenger or video conferencing. We will focus on this element, as the element of a webcam can be misleading. When two people find each other and begin to chat online, one of two things happens. Either they do not feel a connection or they do. If a connection is felt, this can quickly escalate into chatting every day. They believe they have discovered the excitement that one feels when meeting someone new. However, they have not really met, have they?

It is a fact that many people are lonely. This is not new to us, many single people are busy with work, single moms are busy with their children and it can be very daunting and difficult to find a meaningful relationship in the “real” world. With personal computers in the majority of every household, many people turn to this internet environment when they are lonely and wish for someone to talk to.

It is important to realize that the world inside a computer is not, and never can be, the real world. When craving acceptance, love, caring, attention and a relationship, one can easily be led astray into the art of misperception. Often, this misperception is not done on purpose. Both people involved in the online relationship do not even realize this is happening.
The truth of the matter is this: the key elements of a true and loving relationship cannot materialize through a computer. You may wish for them, daydream of them and tell yourself they exist, but they do not.

Starting with physical and chemical attraction: a person may feel they are attracted to the image on a webcam but this in no way is the actual person that exists. Anyone who owns a webcam surely understands that it is very easy to show yourself in a good light via cam. If you feel that you are completely attracted to the other person, ask yourself this: Do you entirely show your true self on your cam? Webcams are an image of you, a moving image and very far from what you are perceived as in person. If you are attracted to someone via cam, ask yourself, have you stood close to him or her and taken in the presence of his or her body? Do you love the fragrance of their cologne/ perfume? Do you love the feel of their kisses? When they hug you, is it done strongly or softy? Do you love those hugs? When you touch their hair, do you admire the feel of it? The smell of it? The answer, of course is no. You have no idea what this person is like in person nor how you feel physically and emotionally when touching them.

Qualities such as honesty, loyalty, integrity, caring and general overall mood are extremely important to a strong and loving relationship. If a person possesses these qualities, it can then free you to respect the person and set a ground for trust and a feeling of safety. Someone who is in love online, may debate that they have seen these qualities already. To this, I ask:

Are you there in the house when they get home from work and see what they do with all of their spare time?

Are you witness to their work ethics?

Do you sit around a table with their family and see the loving interaction?

Have you gotten in an argument and have seen if the other person stays to talk or walks out the door in anger?

Have you stood by them when they hear some unpleasant news and are witness to how they react?

Have you greeted them at the end of a long day, a day that tested their nerves, and then received a hug?

Did you cook and then burn dinner and they told you it does not matter, they love you for trying?

Did you forget to run an important errand that you promised you would, and they told you not to worry?

The list is endless. The conclusion is that there is no possible way to know of how this person will interact in a relationship without physically being with them.

Love can be confusing. Craving a relationship or marriage can send people in a blindness that prevents them from understanding the misperception that occurs online. Again, this misperception does not need be by intention. The mere fact that there is no actual “in person” interface is what causes this misperception to arise in the first place. A person can be intrigued, in lust, in "like", or in a false reality of love when online with another. Only in spending quality time face-to-face, will the true colors of the other surface.
It is at that time, that one should decide if they are in love.

Written by Alisa Chagnon

10 CLUES OF AN ONLINE AFFAIR

by Bill Mitchell

1. Your spouse/ partner spends excess time online. Who doesn’t use a computer today? I know a few people. They are excellent for paying bills, staying in touch with family, friends, customers, finding street locations, and a host of other productive endeavors. We can not live without them and shutter when a lighting storm threaten our usage. Just look at kids and their instant messaging. They will go without dinner just to keep in touch with their circle of friends. Try to pull them away, it’s no easy task. Does your spouse resemble your kid’s magnetism to the computer? Discover why this need is so powerful before it’s too late.

2. Passwords, instant message “buddy lists”, internet email accounts and emails are concealed - even protected from you! Do you find your spouse needing his “own space” at the computer? Is there a real reluctance when you ask to know his passwords? What’s there to hide? These questions all have obvious answers. The act of hiding information is deceptive by nature. Of course, those of us who have worked in “Corporate America” understand the need to protect company secrets. But what legitimate “family secret” are we hiding? Listen, any time a spouse becomes secretive with you, it fulfills a direct need they demonstrate. Why? You are like the judge, referee, or source of authority creating that “sense of accountability” over them. Furthermore, they are breaking matrimonial law if committing adultery. There is, in many courts, a price to pay!

3. Computer use after you have gone to bed, when you fall asleep or in the middle of the night. Have you been awaken by the absence of your spouse at night and found him at the computer? If this behavior becomes a pattern you certainly need to be concerned. While work demands a sense of commitment and loyalty, working late repeatedly after you have fallen asleep is a little odd.

4. Your partner abruptly shuts off the internet and/or computer when you approach. This is panic and unexplainable behavior. The rationalization is “when all other contingency plans fail, just shut that thing off and don’t get caught.” This foolish act is also called a “computer crash” and has the potential of damaging both hardware and software. The loss of files occurs when a computer is cut off abruptly. Many spouses have reported this behavior just prior to hiring us. We consider it a significant indicator of a deviant behavior. Now, bear in mind your spouse may be viewing pornography and fear reprisal. This may explain the need for panic.

5. The computer and monitor are always positioned away from your sight. The study of body language has become useful to many investigators, especially those of us who administer lie detection examinations. An obvious sign of deception and a common mistake the cheater make is blocking your view. They need the time to clear a screen, turn off the monitor, or change to another internet page when threatened with exposure. Intentionally turning the monitor or laptop away from view is an indicator they don’t want you to see something. Over time this act develops into a habit and confers greater freedom from detection. In most instances, having the lead time to hide the truth from you is all they need.

6. Clears all internet history after chat sessions, usage or installs software to automatically rid this information. There are times when a computer becomes filled with unwanted files. Computers run faster when less “temporary” files use up valuable “ram memory.” This is prudent maintenance for any computer user. What I am referring to in this sign is the repeated habit of purposefully clearing information from discovery. While this information is retrievable through the science of Computer Forensics and Google Cache holds a lot of things people think they've deleted, you won’t find it readily available. On the market now is software that actually helps the cheater. The actual purpose of this new software tool is to hide any trace of computer internet usage. Do you find this a little suspicious? I do.

7. Exhibits a compulsive need to be online and seems defensive when confronted to stop. “When are you coming to bed?” “We really need to go, now, what’s taking so long?” “Can’t you do that later?” Have you asked these types of questions? Teenagers often become “obsessed” with instant messaging. If you have kids who use the computer, you know. They have trouble walking away from the PC. This same desire or need displayed by your spouse is cause for alarm. A compulsive, defensive pattern of behavior shows a strong need to continue. You need to know why.

8. Shares personal information, photos or events with people who are strangers to you in emails, chatrooms or while instant messaging. Setting up a profile for instant messaging is commonplace. Kids love to fill them up and share with friends on the buddy list. I’ve witnessed spouses who send nude pictures of themselves over the internet. They share very personal information that should be reserved to the marital home. Maybe it’s time to track this information with software that collects this data. Today more courts are allowing emails and computer usage data as evidence. It’s advisable to consult an attorney in your state beforehand!

9. Plays online games and frequents "personals" chatrooms. This is where it starts. Play a few games, win or loss but then we need to chat. Well if chatting is fine, why not include your spouse? You can’t, so why do it?

10. Exhibits the eight warning signs illustrated in "The More You Know – Getting the evidence and support you need to investigate a troubled relationship"

Thirty plus years of investigative experience is poured into this new release. It’s a “must have” resource guide for every woman’s personal library.

2005 Bill Mitchell All rights reserved.

INTERNET RAPIST ARRESTED

(GEORGIA, U.S.A.) Clayton County Police believe that there could be more victims of a man they say used the Internet to lure women and raped them.

Police arrested Jalyn Dwight Conner and charged him with multiple charges of rape, armed robbery, aggravated assault, burglary, false imprisonment and aggravated sodomy. Conner, 17, allegedly lured victims into a vacant apartment near his home and raped them.

Police are asking anyone who believe they may have been a victim of the College Park teenager to contact Clayton Police Detective Freeman at (770) 477-3624.

Sgt. Otis Willis said police are not releasing Conner’s photo nor the website he used to meet his alleged victims. “We do not want to reveal his face because there could possibly be more victims and showing his face could hinder our investigation,” said Willis. “We are not revealing which Internet site he used to meet his victims because any information that is presented by the victim needs to be unbiased.” According to warrants issued to Clayton County Police, Conner has denied involvement in the alleged attacks. Police said three women identified him from a photo line-up and items belonging to the alleged victims were found inside Conner’s home.

Willis said one victim was allegedly attacked raped on Aug. 12, during early morning hours, and another victim was allegedly attacked and raped around 6 a.m., on Aug. 23. The sergeant said both rapes took place near the Garden Walk Boulevard area.

Police linked Conner to the crimes after they searched Conner’s apartment and found items belonging to both women and a gun, ammunition as well as a holster, according to the warrant. A woman told police Conner called her that morning and invited her to his gated apartment complex on Riverdale Road in College Park to have sex with him. He allegedly gave her the gate code and told her to meet him at unit J6. Police said Conner lives in the same building but that J6 is vacant.

The woman told police she met Conner about 9:30 a.m. inside the unit, which she said was dark and void of furniture. Once inside, the woman told police, Conner put a gun to her head and said, “You know what this is.” The woman said Conner took her purse and phone and made her undress. She said he zip-tied her hands together and raped her. According to the warrant, Conner told her to stay inside the unit while he took her keys and went to her vehicle. The woman told police Conner stole $100, a camera, Coach bag and two cell phones from her vehicle. While Conner was outside, the woman said she was able to break the zip ties. When Conner returned, she said he got angry and allegedly raped her again. Afterward, he ran in an unknown direction and she drove to a nearby store and called police.

The woman was taken to Southern Regional Medical Center, where she was examined using a rape kit, according to the warrant. Police said a second complaint was made Aug. 23 against Conner, when another woman reported a similar attack in the same unit. Willis said women should take precautions when using any Internet site to meet people.

“If you meet someone over the Internet, it needs to be in a public place, just in case you need to make an outcry for help,” explained Willis. “You should inform a family member or friend where you are going and who you are meeting. Even if they could provide a name, an e-mail address or a phone number for the person they are going to meet.” Clayton County Police Chief Gregory Porter is grateful for all of the Clayton County residents who are assisting police in the Internet rape cases, Willis said.

“He wants them to remember the key to making Clayton County a better place to live is by citizens getting involved in their community,” continued the sergeant. “Our partnership with citizens is based on community-oriented policing.” Conner is being held without bond in the Clayton County Jail. He is due back in court Sept. 7 for bond reconsideration.

original article found here

CASANOVA AT THE DESK

For 8 years my spouse and I had lived happily. I'm 45 and he is 46. I've a daughter from a previous marriage and it was after my divorce that I met HIM. He was a bachelor without children. During our 8 years together he never could accept my daughter as his own, although I had hoped for my daughter's sake that she would finally have a father (her natural father was an alcoholic maniac). My husband didn't even like children and that had been a consistent problem during our 8 years together. Only that.

Suddenly he had a heart attack - the most serious type. It was due to a business problem. The doctor suggested that he take up some new interest to occupy his mind with. That's when he purchased a computer and that is where the nightmare began. We learned its use through method of deduction. When we first hooked on to the net we joined a chat program. It was a totally unfamiliar environment for us. My husband was invited to a private chat by a female. I sat right next to him as they carried on.

My husband was never what you could call a great lover in bed, and although with a little effort I always got what I wanted. After the heart attack and due to the medication he was even weaker but on that chat he became super stud. Suddenly he saw great and colorful adventures possible from this side of the table.

He always had difficulty sleeping and seldom slept more than 3-4 hours a night. On the other hand, I sleep well and as a result I was not able to sit with him at all times. These times gave him the opportunity to completely delude himself into this world. We've not been used to going out much even before he became sick, because he liked staying at home.

He completely flipped out and the only thing that mattered to him was the chat. He felt that through it there were possibilities for him that he never realized. He left us. Now he wants a child and is looking for the right partner. I feel he is running head on into tragedy. He has money and I know that he will find someone, at least for as long as the money lasts. Although he had not yet found anyone in particular, I realize that I've lost him forever.

And that is how my life was ruined by internet love :(

ORIGINAL ARTICLE FOUND HERE

GOOD READ: DANGEROUS GAMES - CLICK HERE

Spotting the Internet Liar

How can you spot a liar online? Some telltale signs of online deception from Cornell professor of Communication -- Jeff Hancock.

LISTEN NOW

An Internet Affair --- AGAIN?

Dear Dr. Bob,

I have been married for 10 months now. I met my wife playing spades on the internet then we started talking on the phone for hours and hours until I left CA. and moved to TN. with her

we have a good relationship but now she spends so much time on the internet thats making me worried and i don't like it when she talks in IM's to strange guys or gets too close online with them. What should I do? the only thing we fight about is that Iasked her many times not to get close to guys on the spades games and she tells me i'm being jealous she hides her computer so i can't see what she is doing on their.

All i hear is her typing on it in games you click the mouse not type as much as she does she was under her screen name on my computer so i looked at her mail i saw something thats is bugging me very much i saw that she had been talking to this guy and was telling him that she was going to call him when i go to work what should i do?

My response:

As Yogi Berra once said, "This must seem like deja vu all over again." It certainly appears that her behavior now on the net finds some parallels with how your relationship with her started? And, of course, you have a right to be concerned - here she goes again!

You describe behavior that could be labeled "addictive." Her focal point becomes these relationships that generate excitement, intrigue and fantasies? She seemingly can't keep her fingers off the keyboard? Other parts of her life take a back seat? And, she denies that she has a problem or minimizes her activities - she's not doing anything wrong!

Please understand that usually, beneath this minimization, are some guilt and shame and a part of her that is truly looking for something else. And, you want her to find that "something else" with you… not in a series of net/phone "romances."

Confronting, pleading and arguing won't work. She will resist, retreat to her keyboard and you will feel increasingly frustrated and alone.

I suggest you start with a tactic I call, "problemize." Periodically make comments about the problem(s) you see. MAKE SURE you use words, tone of voice and body language that convey acceptance, concern and lack a tone of judgment, condemnation or a sense of superiority.

For example: "Does it ever seem to you that you are going through the same thing now as when you first met me?" "Do you ever stop to think what impact your net/phone relationships will have on our relationship?" "Do you ever think there is more to life than meeting someone on the net?" "You must get a 'high' out of these relationships?" "I wonder what you are REALLY looking for?" "I wonder what I eventually will do with this." "I wonder if you will always be looking?"

Get the idea? Leave a question in your voice. Open the door for her to talk and explore. This is your first step. If, over time, her actions persist, begin to think about what you are willing to tolerate and what actions you may need to take. But, first, "problemize" and see where that goes.

The "Other Woman" in the 'Second Life' Divorce Case

The 'other woman' in Second Life divorce...
who's now engaged to the web cheat she's never met

The new fiancee of Second Life love rat David Pollard, whose marriage crumbled when his wife caught him 'having online sex with her', was unmasked today - and denied the pair had had a cyber-affair.

Linda Brinkley, 55, known on the multi-player online game as Modesty McDonnell, revealed that since her online fling with David Pollard the couple had become engaged in real life.

But Miss Brinkley today denied that her internet love affair with Mr Pollard had led to the break-up of the 40-year-old's marriage to ex-wife Amy Taylor.

When their computer-generated selves clapped eyes on each other, she said, it was 'love at first sight'. But she claimed they were only friends until David split with his wife.

Miss Brinkley fell for David after her online character Modesty McDonnell began working as a hostess in the nightclub he runs on the web-based reality game.

Their bond in the game is now so strong that they have become engaged in real life - despite never having met outside the computer-generated world.

In the Second Life world players adopt a new identity and can move around, work and socialise in a computer-generated environment.

Miss Brinkley, of Arkansas, USA, said: 'When we first met it was at a fancy dress night on the game and he noticed me across the room and said he felt something special.

Happily married in Second Life: Modesty McDonnell (Linda Brinkley) and Dave Barmy (David Pollard), who are also engaged in real life.

'I felt it too so it really was like love at first sight. It was kind of strange at first because I never thought anything like this would happen to me.

'But we gradually built up our relationship and got closer until he proposed to me online for real. I was surprised but part of me knew it was coming and of course I said yes.

'He's told me that his relationship with his wife was over way before I came along and he's been very honest with me so I take his word for that.

'We've never met in real life but we've got each other's pictures. I'm really nervous about meeting him but at the same time I'm looking forward to it more than you could know.

'It's amazing that we've found each other across so many miles and we love each other very much. It's my dream to finally to meet up with him and it's all because of the game.'

David was dumped by first wife Amy after she allegedly caught his character Dave Barmy cheating with Modesty McDonnell, who she claimed was a prostitute.

But Modesty insists her avatar is a 'hostess' in Dave's online nightclub 'Holodeck'.

In the game their characters married after a whirlwind romance at a small ceremony attended by just seven guests.

Just weeks later David, of Newquay, Cornwall, proposed to Linda for a second time and the pair now plan to marry for real.

Amy Pollard, left, and her online character Laura Skye. Amy has filed for divorce after she caught her husband Dave having a 'virtual' affair online with a computer-generated female character

Linda, who has four children from two previous marriages, only started playing Second Life a month before meeting Dave so she could stay in touch with her sister.

She added: 'I would say I'm in love with Dave. I've been married in real life before but they weren't really good relationships and I haven't had much luck with men until now.

'I chat to him on the phone over the internet for at least two hours every night. We are always together. The only thing stopping us meeting is the distance and the money but we have exactly the same goals in life.'

Linda, a former special needs carer, is currently unemployed but intends to take an online degree in Religious Studies and hopes to work as a missionary.

She has three children aged 35, 33 and 30 from her first marriage and another son aged 15 from her second marriage.

David also insists he and Linda were only 'hanging out' together in Second Life and never indulged in cyber-sex before his real marriage to Amy was over.

'We weren't even having cyber sex or anything like that we were just chatting and hanging out together," he said.

'It was nothing really major but then Amy found out about it and went mad I don't think I was really doing anything wrong.'

Yesterday it was revealed that David and Amy had met while playing the game before marrying in real life.

But while the internet brought them together, it eventually tore them apart.

One day, Miss Taylor, 28, found Mr Pollard at the computer - watching his avatar having sex with a prostitute in Second Life.

She said: 'I went mad - I was so hurt. I just couldn't believe what he'd done.

'I looked at the computer screen and could see his character having sex with a female character. It's cheating as far as I'm concerned.

'But he didn't see it as a problem, and couldn't see why I was so upset.

'He said I was just making a big fuss and tried to make out it was my fault for not giving him enough attention.'

Using the virtual world's own special currency, she hired an online private detective to investigate his adultery.

However, back in their real lives, the Pollards managed to patch things up.

But then in April this year Mrs Taylor caught her husband's avatar in another compromising position.

She claims he was having ' cybersex' with a female player in the U.S. - chatting intimately in the virtual world.

Although Mr Pollard and the woman had never even met outside the game, Miss Taylor said that she was devastated by what she considered to be his very real betrayal.

She said: 'I caught him cuddling a woman on a sofa in the game. It looked really affectionate.

'He turned off the computer monitor and I turned it back on and demanded to look at his chat history.

'But he turned off the computer so the history was all deleted - and I ended up going off in floods of tears.

'He confessed he'd been talking to this woman player in America for one or two weeks, and said our marriage was over and he didn't love me any more, and we should never have got married.'

The next day, Miss Taylor went to a solicitor to file for divorce from her 40-year-old husband of three years on the grounds of ' unreasonable behaviour'.

Luckily, she now has a new man in her life - whom she met while playing the internet fantasy role-playing game World Of Warcraft.

From her home in Newquay, Cornwall, she said yesterday: 'It has been a very difficult time for me. I am now just trying to move on with my life.

People find love in lots of different ways. Ours was a very serious marriage.

'It may have started online but it existed entirely in the real world and it hurts just as much now it is over.'

She added: 'His was the ultimate betrayal and I felt absolutely terrible.

'I know it sounds bizarre but he had admitted to an earlier incident and he knew how I felt about it.'

Miss Taylor said: 'I still go online and play Second Life but not as much. There's still a chance I could bump into him on there.

'I have met somebody new and we are living together. I am very happy. I know it all sounds pretty strange - but it works for me.'

Her ex-husband, who would only speak to the Mail through his character on Second Life, said yesterday: 'I don't think I was really doing anything wrong.'

And he claimed that the problem was not Second Life, but his real life relationship with Miss Taylor.

'Amy never did anything around the house,' said Mr Pollard. 'She just played World of Warcraft all the time.

'If I wanted to spend time with her I had to ask - but it was always too much trouble for her to come off the game to spend time with me.'

For REAL LIFE pictures of these people & the original article - CLICK HERE

IF YOU'RE THIS INVOLVED? TURN OFF THE COMPUTER, PEOPLE! - Fighter

Blackmail judge is 'internet predator' who seduced women online

Check out how the judge/ predator tries to SMEAR his victims!! Sound familiar?

Blackmail judge is 'internet predator' who seduced women online
The judge at the centre of a love triangle blackmail case is an 'internet predator' who seduced a divorcee on a dating site then callously dumped her, it's been claimed.

Renate Butler, 60, told how she met judge Mohammed Khan on the Udate website and the pair shared romantic dates in London and Surrey and had sex at his £500,000 North London flat.

But in July he vanished after a weekend together and never got in contact again.

Last night the sales rep from Horley, Surrey, said:

"He is a user and predator of women. Things were going well at first and I thought he was charming and a gentleman.

"But then I suddenly stopped hearing from him. I thought he was extremely ignorant to have done it the way he did it. It wasn't the way to do it, it should have been face to face.

"On the dating website he described himself as kind and caring but by the end of our relationship I found him to be anything but."

Meanwhile Judge Khan said last night that he had made a 'fundamental error of judgement' by employing Roselane Driza.

He told The Daily Telegraph:

"I deeply, deeply regret the very fundamental error of judgment that I made with Driza, believing her when she said she was legal and not realising she was such a devious woman.

"My biggest regret is that I befriended Driza. I never realised she was illegal. I kept saying 'Show me your papers'. I would like to think I am a man of conscience. I have made my share of mistakes but I do not go around being horrible to people."

It was revealed yesterday that Khan - who is facing the sack over the 'sex, lies and videotape' blackmail case - is receiving full close to £200,000 to date. The female immigration judge, who was his lover, has been on sick leave for 18 months and is also understood to have been paid as much as £180,000 during that time. She earns £117,680 a year.

The Department for Constitutional Affairs (DCA), which employs them, confirmed both would continue receiving their substantial salaries during a disciplinary investigation into the embarrassing fact that they were employing an illegal immigrant as their cleaner.

MPs described the situation as "sheer hypocrisy". Judge Khan was named and shamed by an Old Bailey judge, in an unprecedented legal move, when the blackmail case ended on Wednesday.

The female judge - seen apparently snorting cocaine while romping with Judge Khan in a homemade sex video - retained her anonymity because she was the victim of blackmail.

Roselane Driza, 37, had threatened to expose the video, and another of him in bed with a mystery blonde, unless she was given £20,000.

Yesterday, after the cleaner was found guilty of blackmail, father-of-two Judge Khan's estranged wife said she knew he had been sleeping with her. Amtul Khan, a social worker who lives in Birmingham, said: "The court revelations are no surprise to me."

ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE

WIFE MURDERED OVER ONLINE AFFAIR

Jealous kebab shop owner jailed for life for murdering wife

A jealous a kebab shop manager, who stabbed his young wife 10 times after he caught her having a "cyber relationship" with another man, was jailed for life.

Kemal Dogan, 36, was ordered to serve a minimum of 12 years after being found guilty of murder by an Old Bailey jury.

The relationship with wife Aygul was already frayed because the 23-year-old had been taunting him over his infertility in front of friends and family.

Dogan caught her baring her flesh on a webcam to her internet lover in Turkey. She was chatting to the man she referred to as "my love" at an internet cafe in Stoke Newington, north London, in December 2005.

She begged her husband for forgiveness and he took her home where the couple entertained visitors. 20 minutes after the friends left, Aygul was dead.

Judge Peter Beaumont told Dogan he accepted there had been a "degree of provocation" although not amounting to a defence in law.

He also accepted a submission by William Clegg QC, that Dogan, an ethnic Kurd, had been suffering from a "mental disorder" after his experiences in his home country of Turkey. The court heard he had suffered torture.

Mr Clegg also told the court that Dogan had shown remorse and twice tried to take his own life while in custody.

The judge told Dogan: "This was not a pre-meditated killing. It does have all the hallmarks of a sudden loss of control. That said, you took the life of your wife in circumstances of very considerable violence."

Mr Clegg told jurors Dogan had been provoked after being "belittled" over his infertility and "deeply wounded" by the internet affair.

But prosecutor Brian O'Neill said: "This is a clear case of murder by a jealous and angry husband as a result of his wife's perceived infidelity."

The court heard that the couple married in their native Turkey in 1997 but had no children, apparently as a result of Dogan's infertility.

Mr O'Neill said that in the weeks leading up to the killing this had become a "strain" on their relationship.

He added: "In addition to that - and perhaps more significantly - there is evidence that the deceased woman was involved in a cyber relationship over the internet with another man in Turkey.

"The defendant became aware of this on the night that he killed his wife and that factor seems to have been the direct cause of the fatal stabbing."

SOURCE