Sexual Arrangements

by Aidan Maconachy

(excerpts)
Are you in a loveless marriage? Has the thrill gone out of it? Sex once a month if you're lucky?

If you live in a small community, cheating is often more of a risk than it's worth with neighborhood gossips on the prowl.

In the UK there is a burgeoning internet business that focuses on putting married people in touch with one another for discreet affairs.

A number of these services go out of their way to ensure the comfort levels of clients who don't want their extramarital affairs to interfere with the routine of family life. Some even offer tips on how best to avoid being caught and provide counseling on how to handle emotional fall-out such as guilt. Stress is laid on confidentiality, and there is an undertaking to safeguard clients' identities. Often sexual partners meet and make-out while using pseudonyms. That could get a little weird. Saying her name at the crucial moment wouldn't have the same resonance.

Services that help the married with discreet encounters are becoming quite popular in the UK. Not all of these clients are cheaters, some have the permission of their spouse. There are many people trapped in loveless marriages with partners who aren't putting out. This can effect personal worth and self-esteem. In one story I reviewed, a spouse came second to her hubby's porno habit . Just to rub it in, he would occasionally compare her unfavorably to the lookers on the web. She stayed in the marriage for the sake of her kids. When she finally worked up the courage to date someone she met through an online service, it gave a huge boost to her flagging sense of worth.
It is legitimate to argue that the refusal of intimacy is potentially damaging to the health and well being of the rejected partner. Fact is, sex is good for you. Provided it's safe and legal it should be a source pleasure and empowerment. It has a therapeutic aspect that is often overlooked. According to some medical opinion a healthy sex life boosts the immune system, increases blood flow, lowers cholesterol, promotes prostate and genital health, boosts testosterone and estrogen counts, improves sleep and relaxation ... and even according to some ... is a life extension factor.

Dating services offer interpersonal connections, unlike pornography which is in high demand these days. There are some 40 million users in the US annually. Porn revenue for 2005 topped 12 billion, exceeding the profits of pro baseball, basketball and football franchises combined. Despite its popularity, a sex life that makes masturbation the primary outlet is rather sad and in the end, isolating.

Real sex of the therapeutic type involves a polarity between partners - the give-and-take of love, emotion and all the other human energies that help to make us whole people. At root the healing power of sex is about intimacy and sharing.
EXCERPTED FROM THIS INTERESTING ARTICLE (CLICK HERE TO READ)

eHarmony Promoting Casual Sex Hookups

J.P. and Amanda Duffy expose dating service's encouragement of 'one-night stands'

..excerpts (Think Online Dating is "safe"? THINK AGAIN!)

Wednesday evening, a friend called expressing dismay about eHarmony's most recent e-newsletter which included an article, "Navigating the one-night stand." Our friend read the first few lines: "So you're a swinging single, and you've had a one-night stand. What's the etiquette for establishing boundaries, calling the day after and getting out without hurting feelings?"

Promoting such high-risk, promiscuous behavior is outrageous and irresponsible.

The advice column glosses over the risks of sexually transmitted diseases. In flippantly urging readers to "always use protection," the columnist ignores the ugly realties of "one night stands." The Center for Disease Control reports that sexually transmitted diseases are at epidemic proportions in this country, with 19 million new infections added every year. The consequences of an STD infection range from infertility to impaired reproductive health.

Also glossed over is the increased risk for violence among those who "navigate" multiple sexual partners. The article states, "It's true you can't spot an ax murderer just by talking to him, but it's a good sign if you are comfortable with someone in the light before deciding to dance in the dark." Does anyone really believe that "talking in the light" is enough to sufficiently reduce this high risk of dating violence?

What the column doesn't report is that sexually active females are five times more likely to be victimized by dating violence than girls who are abstinent.

Several years ago, Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder of eHarmony, was closely associated with Focus on the Family. He separated from the organization after deciding to expand his services to the wider market. However, "Navigating the One Night Stand" takes this a step further by completely breaking eHarmony away from its Christian, pro-marriage beginnings.
After 24 hours, the article was removed from the eHarmony website. However, this will do little to undo the damage to their reputation. How did the advice column get there in the first place? It was clearly an intentional element of a well-designed newsletter, complete with a graphic of a tousled couple in bed together.

eHarmony can make amends by issuing a full retraction, an apology and an explanation of how this occurred. At minimum, this e-newsletter represents gross negligence. The apology should also be sent to all e-newsletter recipients.

eHarmony has assisted thousands of couples in building strong marriages. However, this goes beyond eHarmony's corporate reputation. A full retraction and reaffirmation of their mission will signal that eHarmony will remain an ally of millions of couples who endeavor to build strong marriages in the face of a culture that degrades marriage and family.

However, eHarmony's silence would signal something entirely different. A failure to retract will lead many to believe that eHarmony sees this as a minor issue and is open to "navigating" its readers into such risky territory again in the future.

Let's hope they realize that their standards should be compatible with the morals and values of their members.

SOURCE

Who wants to bet that eHarmony does it again? And other sites will or are doing the same! EOPC does not condone online dating or ANY online dating site in ANY way, shape or form.

Another Internet Hookup Ends in Murder

Investigators believe a 38-year-old man was stabbed to death in his Queens, New York apartment by a man he met on the Internet, police sources said Thursday.

Michael Pecora's nude body was found in his Forest Hills, NY apartment late Wednesday, hours after his sister called his cell phone only to have a stranger answer, the sources said.

The man with Pecora's cell phone was a cab driver, who told the sister he was given the phone earlier in the week by a passenger who said he didn't have any money to pay the fare, sources said.

The passenger gave the cab driver the phone and a watch as payment when he was dropped off in the Bronx.

The panicked sister called police, and detectives interviewed the cabbie, who told them he picked up the mysterious passenger near Pecora's 65th Ave. apartment, sources said.

The building super climbed onto the fire escape and let cops into Pecora's sixth-floor apartment through the window where they found his body sprawled in a hallway near his bedroom. He had been stabbed three times.

"He was a good kid," said Sam Pecora, the victim's father, from his home in Pennsylvania.

Pecora's laptop was missing and the cabbie remembered that the suspicious fare was carrying what resembled a computer. That fueled investigators' belief that the killer met Pecora on the Internet and was trying to cover his tracks, sources said.

The cab is being dusted for prints.

Pecora's friends told investigators he used the Internet to find dates, sources said.

A graduate of the University of Tampa who worked for MasterCard, he was well-liked by neighbors who recalled his friendly demeanor.

"It's an absolute shock," said Roberto Sonabria, who lives on the same floor as Pecora. "It's a family neighborhood [and] he was a nice man."

ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE

AOL Chat Friend Pleads 'Not Guilty' to Murder

Prosecutors say a man suspected of ambushing and stabbing a woman he met online has been charged with second-degree murder in her death.

Raymond Dennis pleaded not guilty on Friday and is being held. His next court date is May 19. Police say 23-year-old Nimzay Aponte was stabbed to death at a Bronx park Tuesday as she sat with a friend.

Police say she told police before she died that "Mike" did it, referring to a person she met on AOL's instant messaging service and through a site called Local Hookups. Police say investigators tracked Dennis down, who went by that name on the service. Police say the two met once in person, but she didn't want a relationship.

Aponte's 25-year-old male companion was also stabbed in the arm. Dennis also pleaded not guilty to assault in that stabbing.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE