Online Seductions: Falling in Love With Strangers on the Internet

Although this volume appears to tell torrid tales of online passion or to advise how to find the love--or at least the lust--of your life online, it does neither. Instead, psychiatrist Esther Gwinnell focuses on how and why online romances happen. Gwinnell compares the modern online relationship with historical cases of individuals who met as pen pals and fell in love. But she also notes significant differences, such as the subtle personality clues that exist in e-mail as opposed to handwritten letters.

Gwinnell uses several examples of online couples and correspondents to demonstrate how romances evolve, flourish, and sometimes wither. The examples are all composite cases to protect the identities of the many people who shared their stories and correspondence with her, but anyone who has experienced a cybercrush can testify that her examples, if simplified for illustrative purposes, are right on target. In the course of her exploration, Gwinnell discusses why cyberromance is suddenly so prevalent, how to deal with both good and bad experiences, and how to protect yourself from bad online relationships. It does an especially good job of highlighting the danger signs that your correspondent may be a pathological personality.

Gwinnell offers some wonderfully hardheaded questions to ask yourself and your potential significant cyber-other before things go too far. - -Elizabeth Lewis

What Happens Online Stays Online?

By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

Today’s omnipresent fear that one’s personal identifying data (e.g., social security number or credit card information) may be vulnerable to hackers and identity theft has pushed millions of subscribers into the arms of “identity theft protection” companies like LifeLock.

But is anyone really paying attention to what will happen when the sexually explicit language and photos that are sent via the latest “friend finder” smart-phone app or sex website get hacked or otherwise exploited?

When “joining” sites like Ashley Madison or downloading apps like Blendr, participants are offered some measure of comfort via a click-it guarantee that personal information will be securely maintained. But somehow it seems off the radar to the same professionals and/or married individuals, who would never send their social security number online via an unsecured site, that when you sext and arrange app-based sexual hook-ups, every word and pic sent via these apps also resides in a far-away server. And that information lives there for a whole lot longer than the instant it takes to sext a potential hook-up.

What happens to all the intensely personal, intimate sexual imagery and language now housed in the servers of companies like Ashley Madison (currently reporting over 9 million members), Adult Sex Finder and Grindr, to name just a few, if these business are bought out, go under or just plain get hacked? If recent news stories are any indication, online sexual activity isn’t nearly as private as many may naively believe:

Last month, Grindr, a popular smartphone app that enables gay men to meet other gay men using their phone’s GPS, was compromised by a Sydney hacker, who then placed users’ personal chats, explicit photos and private information online. This app currently has more than one million users worldwide. Security experts warn that the same vulnerabilities are present in other hook-up apps such as Blendr (the straight version of the app) and Ashley Madison.

Last week, a young man affiliated with hacker group Anonymous claimed to have hacked into a website operated by pornography provider Brazzers. The emails, usernames and other personal information of more than 350,000 users may have been exposed, a small sample of which were posted publicly online.

Anonymous has also just claimed responsibility for taking down the CIA website. Previously, the group took aim at the FBI, the Department of Justice, entertainment companies and the Church of Scientology, among others. Similar groups have targeted the U.S. Census Bureau, Interpol and various state public safety departments.

Over 20 years as a specialist in the field of adult intimacy disorders and sexual addiction has taught me (and you can see it clearly in the film Shame), that those intellectually stable, but emotionally challenged adults with problem patterns of sexual behavior can and do destroy their careers and tear apart their relationships without meaning to do so. All the while they believe they were somehow “safe” from being found out.

Unfortunately nearly all of these men and women prior to getting help expressed feeling when they are in the pursuit or “bubble” of their sexual and romantic highs that:

• They are “in control” and “know what they are doing”
• “No one will ever know or find out” if they’re “careful”

I need only cite Fmr. Congressman Anthony Weiner as one of the many unfortunate examples of this type of denial. And there are many more such individuals with stories in and out of the media nearly every day.

As technology becomes more intimately threaded into our lives, perhaps we need to broaden our ideas about what is truly “private” and what can be readily uncovered and shared in a public forum. If not, when the day comes (and it will) that the personal data currently maintained by any of the friend-sex-finder websites/apps are exposed and posted on a U.S. website, the Anthony Weiner sexting story, his subsequent marital separation and congressional resignation are going to look like a Girl Scout party by comparison.

Robert Weiss is the author of three books on sexual addiction and Founding Director of the premiere sex addiction treatment program, The Sexual Recovery Institute. He is Director of Sexual Disorders Services at The Ranch and Promises Treatment Centers. These centers serve individuals seeking sexual addiction treatment, love addiction treatment, and porn addiction help. Specifically, the Centers for Relationship and Sexual Recovery at The Ranch (CRSR) offer specialized intimacy, sex and relationship addiction treatment for both men and women in gender-specific, gender-separate treatment and living environments.

original article here

Neighbour Admits Nine-Month CyberHarassment Campaign

by Daryl Slade

(ALBERTA, CANADA) Annoyed at his neighbours calling city bylaw enforcement about him and another neighbour, Michael Kenzie MacLeod embarked on a nine-month spree of ruthlessly harassing them through the Internet.

MacLeod, 35, who said he was formerly friends with Robert and Kathy Smith, set up e-mail accounts in their name that resulted in fictitious ads being placed on a local Internet website to sell merchandise.

As a result of personal ads, which contained her name and address, Kathy Smith received hundreds of phone calls from people wishing to buy items and obscene calls and visits to their door from men who believed they had corresponded with her about having sexual encounters.

MacLeod pleaded guilty Thursday to criminal harassment.

Crown prosecutor Nadine Nesbitt, who argued for a conditional jail sentence of 18 months with house arrest, said in reading an agreed statement of facts in court Thursday that MacLeod posed in the e-mails as being Kathy Smith.

Smith said in her victim impact statement that MacLeod’s actions were “relentless psychological torture” that caused her family to fear for her life.

“I could have been killed by a stranger sent to our door,” she said, choking back tears. Due to the proximity of the offender, I was deprived of peace in my own home. My family and I were selected targets.

“I felt like I was imprisoned in my own home. I was face to face with an unidentified man . . . today, I saw my attacker for the first time and, even though it’s been over for a year, I still live in fear.”

Nesbitt said the offender’s actions were often very disturbing in nature.

“On Sept. 6, 2008, Kathy Smith received a phone call from an unknown male that was very sexually graphic,” she told provincial court Judge Anne Brown. “The male told Kathy Smith in very vulgar terms what he would like to do with her sexually. The male called (her) several times and told her he was responding to her personal ad on usedcalgary.com and he was the person still communicating with her using her e-mail address.”

That man was eventually traced through a pay phone and video surveillance and, although not charged by police, was fired from his job.

Also, Kathy Smith received an “e-mail bomb” from MacLeod, which included 250 similar e-mails over a couple of hours on Jan. 17, 2009, virtually crippling her system.

It purported to be from the Canadian Mental Health Association and was entitled, “CMHA are watching you.”

The offender also used another neighbour’s unsecured wireless router to send many of the e-mails, resulting in police tracing them to the neighbours’ home, seizing their computers and taking them in for questioning.

MacLeod also posted many of the fictitious ads using his laptop computer while visiting China and Orlando, Fla.

Nesbitt said part of his sentence should include a condition that he take counselling for anger management. Defence lawyer Jim Lutz sought a similar conditional sentence, albeit 12 months long.

He noted his client believed he just set up the calls or meetings through the ads and did not have control over what happened afterward.

That prompted Brown to quip, “It’s a bit like loading a weapon and giving it to someone.”

Robert Smith said in his victim impact statement that he and his family have been devastated by the crimes that still affect them because, despite efforts by police to remove any reference to the ads, they still can be called up and have their home address on them.

They have had to change phone numbers and e-mail addresses they have used for 20 years.

“We have been and still are paralyzed from this crime. I wake up at night thinking about these crimes,” Smith said in his statement. “We don’t know who has our phone number or address and will show up at our door.

“For four months in 2008, Kathy was harassed with phone calls, some saying they were coming to our house. The callers also seemed to know when I was leaving. One caller said I just left and said he and a friend were coming to our house later that day.”

MacLeod apologized to the Smiths for his actions before the judge adjourned sentencing.

“I wasn’t fully aware of all the impact it had on you, until I heard your statements today,” he said. “I’m sorry for that.”

Brown will sentence him on June 3.






original article here

More Head Games with Beatrice Acevedo

Comments in Dark Blue are EOPC's opinions

FROM: Beatrice Acevedo
September 1, 2008 at 4:05pm

Ohh sweetheart, my love, my baby. I am so thankful to God we met. I wanna be your little Belgian wife and make you happy for the rest of your life and I wanna make a beautiful little bambino with you.., or a bambina!

The victim reports that soon after the above her pattern seemed different. family, friends thought i was getting taken for a ride. I was ready to break, but noooooooo -- she hoover manuevers him back in with lame reassurances.

Beatrice Acevedo
September 18, 2008 at 10:39am

Hi Honey,
Thanks for the wakeup call this morning. I heard the phone but could not hear your voice. kept being disconnected. What a bummer! I am glad we talked yesterday.Love hearing your voice. I don't know what has happened to us lately. Maybe it's because we have not been together yet and are getting impatient. It is not a good thing though not to trust each other, especially since we have only being calling, talking on FB and texted. We haven't touched, kissed or been physically involved but still we care alot about each other and much more. I don't want us to feel this way again. We have been so close and fought together (Tony, the immigration, obstacles of all kind). I hope this time we can make it, amore.
Ti amo molto. Bacci per te. Honey

The victim booked a flight for a 2 week visit to see Acevedo and gave her plenty of notice. Just DAYS before he gets this:

Beatrice Acevedo
September 22, 2008 at 4:19pm

My dear Davey, sweetheart,

I hope you're not gonna get upset at me for wht I am about to tell you. I know it is at the last minute but I feel I have no choice. I talked to the ADD this morning, explained the situation and ask her for advice as to how you should handle tony if a problem should arise. I di not expect that kind of answer or reaction from her. She told me that it almost seems like we used the fact that he hit me once on the lip as an excuse for us to get him out of the house and that therefore when he goes to Court on October 17th he could actually use that against us, actually against me. That could possibly cause me some trouble.

The worst case scenario, due to the situation and the Squatter"s law if they rule in his favor he might be allowed to use my place as his residence til he finds something else and I would loose my order of protection. I know it sounds wack but that is unfortunately the reality. I am sure you are as upset and disappointed as I am but I am asking you to be patient and follow the ADD's advice to wait til after the trail for a visit. It would actually be better if I go up there because he would have no proof of my destination. My cell is fixed so please give me a call later so we can talk about this. I ams o sorry baby. Ti amo molto e sempre. Bacci, besos.
Honey Bea



FROM: Beatrice Acevedo
August 7, 2008 at 8:39am

Bonjour mon chou,
I just got the opportunity to open Facebook and read your message.I know you would be blinded by desire, that's why I did it. I am such a naughty girl, hehe....

Pauvre singe, il travaille overtime et ce n'est rien en comparaison du"overtime" qu'il va faire quand tu arrives a New York. Yeah, I want us to do it nice and slow! I want us to take our time.
Many kisses to you too, everywhere.
Je t'aime, mon amour.

Your message makes me feel better because I had to deal with T** again this morning. He bothered me at home then he won't stop calling my job to start arguing. I told him that if he does not stop that I will go to Court. I told him he has to leave soon because it's over and I will never change my mind. He then called me selfish! If somebody has been selfish throughout the years it's him. I can't wait for you to come down here, Baby. I need you so much by my side. Whether he wants it or not he must leave. He has to accept that our love is meant to last and what we mean to each other. You are truly the man I was waiting for all those years. I love you sooo much.
Can't wait to hear your voice tonight!!
Bacci, bacci.
Your Honey Bea forever.


Beatrice Acevedo
August 19, 2008 at 3:41pm

Ti amo, Je t'aime, te quiero, ish liebe disch, ik hou van jou....
We will be together for our B'days the latest!
Let's talk about all this tonight and make plans. When there is a will there is a way! Love will find a way.
Your Honey Bea forever.


Beatrice Acevedo
August 25, 2008 at 9:28am

Bonjour mon cheri,
Now that I have a few minutes of privacy, let em tell you how I am gonna take care of you. First I will "try" to undress you slowly... if I am too impatient I am gonna have to rip your clothes off!!

I am going to kiss you slowly, then more and more passionately. I love French kissing and I am pretty good at it so I will *********. I find it very exciting for both of us!

*********

Now I think you are like a volacno about to erupt!!!
I hope you enjoyed reading my sex message :)
Til we meet in a month maybe we could do phone and text sex!!! What do you think? Would you enjoy that?
I love you with all my heart baby. I enjoyed hearing your sexy voice this morning telling me in details how you're gonna ****.
You are my true love Darling.
Can't wait to see you, be with you and ******.
Bacci, bisous.
Honey Bea



Beatrice Acevedo
August 29, 2008 at 3:09pm

Can't wait to hear your sexy husky male voice tonight. You rule my world Baby!
By the way, I saw T** this morning and he said he does not think you are right for me and that there is something wrong with you. I said that of course he has to say that since he is jealous. He would say that just about any man!! He also said he is worried for me and the kids. Look who's talking...he has got balls to talk this way after what happened!

Pathological liar? Yes... EOPC thinks so. And the mind f**k is unreal.

Ex-Girlfriend Smeared Online by Cop

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Internet 'Sex Gang' Off to Jail

Two brothers who led an internet sex gang which made millions by exploiting trafficked women have been jailed.
The gang, which smuggled hundreds of Asian women into Britain to work as prostitutes, made at least £3.2m during its five-year span.

The women were charged up to £30,000 by the gang to repay their travel "debts".

Bordee Pitayatankul, 33, from Surrey, was jailed for 15 months. His brother Pongpoj, 31, from Paddington, was given 18 months at Southwark Crown Court.

Seven other members of the gang were also jailed.

It cannot be right in this day and age that women coming to this country should be, in effect, sold off like slaves

Gang members admitted to various offences including conspiring to launder money and plotting to control prostitution between 1 January 2005 and 21 April 2008.

Up to 70 women - some as young as 18 - worked from at least 20 brothels across London, including Bayswater, Kensington and Paddington, often going with dozens of customers a week to raise the money they were told they owed the gang.

The Oriental Gems website set up by the gang featured the women accompanied by a photo gallery showing them naked or semi-naked.

It also listed their sexual specialities with prices ranging from £150 for one hour to £1,500 for an overnight stay.

Passing sentence, Judge Christopher Hardy said: "It cannot be right in this day and age that women coming to this country should be, in effect, sold off like slaves to work in this or any other trade for free until their debt is expunged.

"Oriental Gems was exploiting on a grand scale both in the number of females on its books, or, more accurately, its website and the turnover in cash generated."

Police estimate that the business was making a "conservative" £800,000 a year at one stage, with the gang pocketing a minimum of £3.2m.

Although officers have seized £179,000 they are yet to trace huge "assets" thought to be hidden abroad.

The judge said authorities should decide whether those convicted should be deported.

Confiscation hearings will be held next year.

SOURCE

QUOTE FROM RELATED ARTICLE:

I have used prostitutes several times, usually from websites, as otherwise I would not have had sex for years.

These girls are all far more gorgeous (and youthful) than any woman I could go out with and offer a stupendous sexual experience - with none of the payback that I have had with girlfriends in the past.

Men Who Sleep with Prostitutes


Readers, does/ did your Cyberpath see you this way? As free sex? Was he someone like Yidwithlid who saw prostitutes on his lunch hours and tried to further supplement his marriage with online sex with real (and vulnerable) women?

Or Dan Jacoby who turned his online 'support group' female friends into free porn shows and emotional toys to feed his out of control libido?

Or John Gash who used the net to find women all over the world for a free place to stay and free sex anywhere he went - while lying about love to every one of them.


Online you are NOTHING BUT AN OBJECT TO THESE MEN. And for many: a way to supplement a huge internet porn & sex habit. And you can be conveniently dumped with a click of a mouse!