DOUG BECKSTEAD - A TEXTBOOK CASE OF CYBERPATHY

At their core - most Cyberpaths are Narcissistic and/or Sociopathic types. Here's some input from other victims who posted to WikiAnswers on Narcissistic types - see how much fits our review of Predator: Doug Beckstead! (as always EOPC's comments are in dark blue)

* They are the biggest liars you've ever seen. They will look you right in your eyes, swear on a stack of bibles and tell you the biggest lie you've ever heard. They will say they're not going to do something, while plotting to do just what they say they wouldn't do. They're very out of touch with their feelings. They talk just to hear themselves talk - while not believing anything they're trying to convince you of.

* It will become obvious very soon: an over-inflated ego. Astonishing lies.

* A narcissist is, at first glance, a friendly, real person. This is the narcissist's bait. The person lures people in, only to control them, in any shape or form. You will not recognize this, but as time progresses, you will feel guilty. The most important thing to recognize is that you need to live your own life and not be controlled by a narcissist. They steal your relationships with people and haunt your feelings. They are a very special, wicked breed of people, who get away with what they do. My advice: be careful with who you meet; don't be misled.

* They will relate to the problems in your life, claiming that something very similar has happened to them. They make it sound like they and they alone truly understand and relate to you. They get you to share very personal things and make you feel like you've found someone who has been through what you have been through. And it's very comforting.

* It is difficult at first since they try to charm. Some traits: They have no real sense of humor; They manipulate and control; They talk but only to hear themselves; dominate conversations; They try to give people their opinions; They love attention; They are cheap.

* I am always surprised at their ability to brainwash people:

Everything they say is exaggeration, deception or lie.

Everyone word out of their mouth is 1) self praise or, 2)cut someone or some group down.

Biggest clue is that when they get done talking to you, you are left with a negative impression of someone, but the narcissist never came right out and said anything directly. They may have make snippy remarks or caustic comments about someone they say they know - but of course they will make sure you never interact with this person to find out for yourself!

* Narcissists are by definition liars. They appear to be something they are not. They seem educated, confidant, charming, and social. They are master manipulators and total control freaks. They have no emotions and are void of empathy. They feel for no one but themselves.

They are a bottomless pit that is never satisfied. They are incapable of giving and receieving true love.

They think they are better than everyone else, always right and never wrong, and their way is always the best way to do anything. They love attention.

They think only of themselves, but make you believe they are thinking of your best interests.

Their time is precious to them and you do not deserve any of their time unless it is to their benefit.

You exist solely to please them. To them, you are less than human, you are not worthy of their mere presence.

* Constant talking and praising while putting others down. They always know more about any topic than you do, and when they are unfamliar with the topic insists on immediately changing the topic.

Forgets their friends and families birthdays, and doesn't care about it; while at the same time expecting huge parties and lavish gifts for their own birthday.

Lies easily, and with such ease that it is difficult to detect, since it is so common.

Always wants more from you; you could never give enough.

Competes with people on every dimension; if you are sick, you should feel sorry for THEM since they feel bad that you are sick.

Never goes out of their way for anyone, even a dying "best" friend.

Thinks he is entitled to everything in the world; does not expect to earn anything.

He dominates (or tries to) any social gathering.

He sees himself as extremely talented and extraordinarily bright, more than most of the world.

No empathy with other people.

* Unfortunately you dont really detect anything until they have made sure your hooked. But I can list the most obvious traits I had in my nightmarish experience:

1. Will lie blatantly

2. Will lie about who they are, what they do, and even what they had for breakfast if they feel like it.

3. It's all about them and their problems and their needs all the time, if you try to tell them about you....disinterest will appear, and they lead it back to them.

4. Your emotions and feelings and needs mean nothing...you are only there for their needs...end of story.

5.Their moods and emotions are extreme...and one night they can be crying and sobbing and (sucking you dry for support) and the next day they havnt a worry in the world.

6. They will push, beg and cajole push for what they want until you succumb to their wishes or needs regardless of how you feel about it. (even saying "I love you" to get something they want out of you)

7. They have to be with people - can't be alone. They will keep partners with them with begging and lies while carrying on affairs with a number of other people.

8. They are never at fault, and even if they say it once or twice that they are...its only words to make them seem more human.

9. When they find other better fresher supplies of attention...you will become non-existant, until they may need you again one day when they may just rear their heads again and try and suck you back in.

10. They will be nice as pie to your face and turn around and tell the next person they see that you mean nothing to them.

11. They are master manipulators and use any information they have on you to control you and get them what they want.

12. Their emotions are shallow and have no meaning and everyone in their lives are nothing but a source of attention.

13. They say things that are so out there that you think they are from another planet.

With all this in mind, here's more from Beckstead's Targets and more blather from Beckstead:

Doug had just IM'd for the first time in a long time and towards the end he dropped the bombshell about moving back home to Anchorage for good. (He probably already HAD moved back for good - unless maybe he was always there)

There had been no prior warning or mention of a new job. We were left stunned and did not know how to respond to him after that. It was one of the rare occasions that he ever apologised.

(But notice he apologizes but still tries to make them feel guilty for being upset with him! They all do this in one way or another. For example - Dunetz/ Yidwithlid had the bad taste to tell one of his Targets ALLLL about having 'marital relations' with his wife. When this Target told him that was inappropriate and "too much information" -- Dunetz/ YidwithLid's response? "But you told me to work on my marriage!" [note how this predator confused "SEX" with "WORKING ON HIS MARRIAGE"]

Has yours ever done the "YOU said we should see other people?" or "I have a real life, you know" just to blame shift to you -- AFTER LETTING YOU KNOW THEY WANT YOU AROUND 24/7? Suddenly YOU'RE the obsessed one? We know different!)

At the end, the cad expected to keep everything the same, regardless of returning home to his wife, which says a lot about his character. This was the man that had said his "marriage was a marriage in name only". It was a marriage that he had originally hidden and after everything else he had said, he did this. (wow what a guy! Got to feel sorry for the wife and all his other targets. Amazing how all cyberpaths somehow twist their ethics & morality to suit their needs. Actions over Words, every time)

FYI - Doug Beckstead's "children" are 23 (married) and 24.

The last paragraphs where he mentions getting his own place, he did and it never changed a thing. Except the distance between us grew greater, he had even less time to talk, chat. We barely got to speak to one another, it was worse than before, when he had house mates. (he got bored with you and probably had other targets going - typical narcissist/cyberpath)

We know now that was because xxx must have lived there for some time. According to zabasearch she did. And the second job was dropped well before the move to his own place, he neglected to tell us about that too, it was only after he slipped and was going out to "fix" a lot of things for ladies that needed his help and he was playing darts more frequently that I found out. (He was already doing these things well before he said or mentioned them - its part of the degrade & devalue process meant to hurt you. They love for you to be the one to leave the relationship so they can play victim ["she left me and it really hurt"] with a new target all over again.)

There were so many discrepancies to his stories. At the end of the day we never truly knew what was fact and what was fiction, as far as he was concerned. (Cyberpaths are notoriously incongruent with time, place & history. They love to bend time and lie. We never can tell what is real with them and sadly enough - neither do they)

From: "Doug Beckstead" <>
Subject: I'm Sorry
Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2006 17:44:48 -0800

It looks like you're upset with me again. I do not want to hurt you. (Yes you do - in fact you probably get off on knowing you upset someone) I was hoping that you would be happy for me to finally be able to spend some time with my family rather than only over an occasional weekend. (there's that blame shifting again!)

I did not want to keep the news from you. And I did not tell you earlier because I did not want to burden you with extra problems while you were going through exams. (but I just couldn't wait to drop this bomb and further trauma bond you to me and my sick web of online mind games)

Why did you just drop offline? It made me feel really bad. (boo hoo... don't like it when its done to you, do you Doug? YOU should be the one doing that and controlling everything, right?)

Because I am going home does not change anything between us, at least not on my end it doesn't. (Because I am an amoral mind-game player who sees every woman as a potential whore for me and my massive ego - online or off)

love and hugs! (barf)

Doug

I found this email from Doug from 2004. (we can all fill in the blanks here) This is when things started happening and questions needed answering. (uh oh!) It took a long while to get these answers out of him. (took him a while to think them up, too)

Again he talks around things, this is where the accusations of "name calling" (he accused me of, first stemmed from). Again it was not name calling on our part just a distinct notice at the down turn in his attention and his list of excuses. You will notice how he starts to turn the blame in on us. (if you have read our other stories - they all do this. PROJECTION and BLAME-SHIFTING)

From this email and from other Targets onwards he accused us all of "angry responses", when it was nothing but pure frustration at having to wait for answers that seemed deliberately delayed on his end. (With any cyberpath, they believe that they are entitled to their anger but no one is entitled to be angry at them for any reason. Its part of their sickness)

None of us ever expected him to answer my emails straight away or answer them/open them at work as he has accused all of us. However, we did not expect to have wait for days on end, and have to keep asking the same questions to get an honest answer. (more blame-shifting; and you'd be waiting for a snowstorm in hell for an honest answer from a cyberpath)

Towards the end, last year I stopped writing as much and then he would ask me if "everything was alright", totally omitting the problem at hand. (Yes! Ed Hicks, Brad Dorsky, Gridney/ Yidwithlid, all did this when they didn't have their targets at their beck and call - but heaven forbid you ask THEM for accountability! They change the subject and never really answer the question - ON PURPOSE!)

As it turned out Beckstead's daughter's husband XXXX was jailed for 'malingering' in a Ketchican barracks (he was training to be a coast guard). XXXXX, Doug's son was going to Idaho to be with the mother of his child. (loads of 'responsible' people in the family we see... nod, wink)

Now the daughter and her husband live at home with them in Anchorage as does the son XXXXX, minus the son's girlfriend and baby. Doug wants them all under the same roof together, he has to have control of everything. (CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL & controlling the chaos too!)

It is a pity he could not have lived with them and been the father to them he should have been when they were growing up. (Maybe they learned their irresponsibility from him! - and can you imagine Beckstead giving up being the center of attention to a child? Besides, he wasn't much a man and couldn't possibly have been much of a father when he's out chasing his ego) Beckstead had probably planned everything out well in advance about moving back home, he truly thought that we'd all just carry on in the background to be picked up and dropped again at his whim. (they all do... you are just a mouse click when needed in their eyes)

In the past if any of us would try to back out, but he became a bad habit that was hard to break. (addiction is more like it with these guys and they brainwash you very thoroughly) He had worked hard to become first and foremost each of our closest friends. (exactly what he wanted) However, when things went wrong we were his favorite scapegoats! -- depending on which of us he was working over most at the time anything happened. (scapegoat? yes... textbook narcissistic cyberpath behavior)

We all asked ourselves why he had to turn so nasty and why he could not just be straight with any of us. (Because he's mentally ill - probably some Cluster B Personality Disorder would be our guess) He would lie and expect all to be forgiven, that we should be happy for him, never mind that he had put all of us on an emotional roller coasters. (if you read the other exposures - they ALL are like this - you aren't alone. Dorksy and Rodger turned their Targets into nervous wrecks, Dunetz/ YidwithLid sent Target #1 into the hospital a number of times - and Target #2 into a mental health hospital. Capers, Hicks, Jacoby, Bish, Thomas and Barber drove their Targets into intensive therapy and even bankruptcy. Some targets even contemplated suicide.)

Beckstead says "he valued our relationship" one of us received an ecard very similar about two weeks before that last nasty email he sent to me. A person who valued anyone so much would not have treated his family or us in the way he has. He obviously had no respect for any of us. (nope he didn't. None of them do. He probably picked up the verbiage from another card or something he read or heard on TV. If you read Hicks, Dunetz/ Yidwithlid, Jacoby and Thomas - they all talk about their 'oh-so-deep feelings' for you... their feelings are actually about as deep as a puddle; if they have any at all.)

From: "Doug Beckstead"
Subject: Good Evenin'
Date: Fri, 28 Jul 2006 21:32:08 -0800

Hi!

I just got home. I needed a little "unwind" time so I stopped down at the XXXXXX for a couple of drinks -- and spent some of the time texting XXX and XXXXX. Friday evenings are usually a lot of fun because the "regulars" are down there after work. Have you ever seen the tv show "CHEERS"? The XXXXX is a lot like the Fairbanks version of the bar in the show. The regulars are just that, regulars. And everybody eventually gets to know everybodies names and you never know when someone else is going to be buying a drink for you -- but it is expected that you will return the favor, if not that evening then on another. It's a real friendly bar. And XXX, the owner, treats our XXX team really well too so I like to patronize his place.

Now, to get to your questions ... as for my comment about ("You know when you said "you don't know what is going to happen", what did you mean by that exactly? Do you still hope that we will meet, and get to do everything we have spoken of? Do you still hold that true?") What I meant by that is that I don't have a crystal ball that holds all the answers for me. I cannot predict what may happen next month let alone next year or five years down the road. However, that does not mean that I want, or expect, anything to change between you and I. I value our relationship very, very much. (also word salad here! Beckstead didn't want to lose his cybertoy but that was all they'd would ever be. Also by keeping them reeled in - he was making sure none of them would tell on him, either)

It was hard not getting messages from you over the last week and I was really happy to get the ones that explained what was happening. I hope more than anything that some day we will eventually be able to meet, in person. (The ones that do meet you? Will stiff you with the bill, too)

Beyond that, I don't know what will happen. So, we just have to keep the good thoughts going. (hahahaha) I have not been trying to "pull back" or anything like that. ("you caught me! oh crap!") That's why I made the comment about staying in the background. I would much rather be out "front and center" but if things happen, just remember, I'll always be back there and will respond to your questions, e-mails, etc. ("when I feel like it - because its all about ME ME ME")

As for the questions about "where does my new job leave us," well, as far as I'm concerned we're still going to be able to e-mail, talk on occasion, and send packages back and forth. If I find out that something was sent and wasn't received, then there will be hell to pay for it, especially if it doesn't show up within a reasonable length of time. We'll be able to talk from time to time as well, just like we do now. I don't expect anything to change. (that last line is VERY TELLING)

But, be prepared that when I get deployed there may be long periods of time when you won't hear from me. I don't know what the e-mail situation will be from wherever I could end up. I think I explained to you that I could go to Baghdad or Afghanistan for as long as four months every two years. It's all part of my job. But, I will let you know about anything that comes up well in advance. I think they've got a rotation schedule so I'll know well in advance when I'm going and to where. It will be just like when I go out to the Yukon now and can't plug my computer into a spruce tree to send e-mails. (this is such a load of sympathy provoking B.S. we won't even bother to try to dissect it because its too funny the way it is)

The three trips I mentioned that I have coming up over the next two months before I head south are next week (beginning tomorrow morning) to Anchorage. I'll be checking my e-mail from there. Then the week after, I'll leave on Friday to fly out to Eagle, take a boat down the Yukon on Saturday to Coal Creek for a "dedication" on Sunday, back to Eagle on Monday via boat, and then spend Tuesday in Eagle doing research (actually I plan on relaxing and enjoying some time on the river -- very little work related) and fly back to Fairbanks on Wednesday. (Mr. Popular aren't you Beckstead?)

Then, the last trip will begin on August XXth (or sooner if they finish the first half of their mission first) I will be going out to the B-24 with the team from JPAC to recover the remains of the pilot. I got word today that I will be accompanying the team for the mission. I'm really psyched about that. The mission plans are to be onsite for two weeks (until September XXth). I think we'll find what we're looking for a lot sooner and might be out earlier than planned, but who knows what may happen. So, that will be the end of my "bush time" with the NPS. (and yet another project I can attach my name to so it will be more attention for DOUG BECKSTEAD - MR. WONDERFUL!)

Well, my back is really sore tonight. I think I should close this epistle and go stretch out on the couch for a while. (LOL!!! What a picture!!) I'm hoping to get up really early tomorrow and heading south.

There is also a big gun show going on in Anchorage this weekend that I would like to go see. It's where a lot of people are selling guns, parts of guns, accessories for guns, and other outdoor related things. I'll bet **** would have a blast at it! There is one up here in Fairbanks twice a year, but for the most part, there isn't much to it and everyone has things overpriced by at least 50%. I like to go to pick up an occasional accessory (ammo boxes, etc) but I rarely buy anything. I've seen a couple of guns that I would have liked to have picked up (bought) but didn't have the money at the time. Mostly I go to look to see if something strikes my fancy. (guns? no comment...!)

love and hugs! (notice how its no longer "I love you" - its more impersonal... did yours do this to you readers?)

Doug
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dolor temporarius.
Gloria aeterna.
Cicatrices virginibus placent.
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From: "Doug Beckstead"
Subject: Tonight
Date: Sun, 24 Sep 2006 20:34:05 -0800

Hi!

Well, this birthday/going away party really s*cked the big one. I got to XXX and there was virtually no one there. Tthe bartender who usually works on Sundays was sitting at the bar and someone else was working for her. She's the one who supposedly put the whole "party" together. She said that something came up and everything got changed. She left within an hour of my getting there. (oops Doug - now you see how very 'important' you aren't! LOL)

So, I sat there at the bar and got drunk. Well, almost. I have a bottle of Shiraz wine in the fridge that I plan on eliminating tonight. That's after I have my dinner of a can of chili heated in the microwave instead of the barbequed ribs that we were supposed to have. Yeah, I'll get drunk sitting in my little apartment, all by myself. Some birthday and going away, eh? (boo hoo... karma can be bad when you have inflicted emotional pain and psychological torture on others)

Friends, eh? Yup, you can always count on them. (just look in the mirror, Beckstead and see what a FRIEND you have been... not)

I hope you and ********* had a good time shopping and doing your "girlie stuff." (giving her GUILT!! oh he's really sickening...)

Love and hugs!

Doug
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dolor temporarius.
Gloria aeterna.
Cicatrices virginibus placent.

By now it was all about Beckstead 'normalizing his abuse.' The covert 'game over' 'I have had my fun with you, but surely you must realize that we have "become too close." (how about "I got bored and found new prey") He even said on one forum about all his Targets that: "this was just a game after-all" (AFTER THE FACT & WHAT HE'D DONE TO ME AND MY FAMILY). Beckstead dropped this bomb-shell, but expected us all to be just "friends".

His later emails would concern stories of dinner with the family - normal family, husband and wife stuff - let the good times roll. A complete turn around leaving each of us dumbfounded. Remember this was the "ill wife", the "down-trodden, frumpy, non-sexual wife", who NEVER EVEN existed back in the beginning. And the family he swore "did not care about him." Now it was all rosy and normal. (This is as cruel and heartless as it gets - after they malign the family/ wife/ partner to you - say you are their "one & only" and then it's family time for them and you are dumped like trash. And if you say 'ouch' they are all over you for HURTING them or their family. Truly depraved Beckstead. They want to use you like some free online porn girl then send you pictures of the wife and kids. WTF?! )

HERE'S THE BOOK THAT BECKSTEAD SENT AS A "PERSONAL GIFT" TO ALL HIS TARGETS