Ever since Brad was exposed in January 2006, I have definitely become a different person.
On the one hand, I finally admitted some very painful and disturbing things that he said to me and that I had repressed in my memory for months because it hurt so much I couldn't deal with it. I finally was able to name what happened to me - I was indeed targeted by an abusive predator, and there was no love or caring on his part. It was difficult to accept at first, but I was able to let go of the anger and stop constantly blaming myself for his treatment of me.
On the other hand, I also felt a great deal of relief after exposing him. I was absolutely terrified to expose him at first because I knew he would eventually find it and would not be happy (and yes, he did eventually find it and sent me emails full of threats and false statements, so that I had to delete all of my old email accounts and start new ones, but that's a whole different story.. he sent them to EOPC too, to no effect - Fighter)...but the benefits of exposing his actions outweighed the fears.
I believe he is still doing the same thing online (and offline); even though, about 2 months after he was exposed, he deleted the profiles mentioned on EOPC (Yahoo, Myspace, almost all dating profiles). However, the band project that he participates in is currently very active, and I believe that he uses other screennames of which I'm unaware.
I know for a fact that there are other women being targeted by him or by other predators like him, and if one of these women reads my story, sees her own relationship in it, and decides to improve her life by leaving this predator and exposing his actions, that my exposure of Brad has not been in vain. It is especially important to me to speak out about what I went through to show that:
a) many young women like me (late teens-early twenties) are just as targeted by online predators as teenage girls are;
b) that abusive relationships can occur even in "non-traditional" situations (almost entirely over the Internet, as opposed to a typical romantic relationship) and
c)that all the "red flags" of potential abuse are easily seen even in such a "different" setting.
In retrospect, I do not regret this experience because it taught me so many valuable lessons about love, relationships, and human nature in general, and I am thankful to EOPC for allowing me to share my story! Thank you very much, and to everyone who reads the blog, I hope that my experience can educate and inform you, as well as give you strength or inspiration to expose any "cyberpaths" or online predators you may know of.
You are quite welcome!!! - Fighter
UPDATE - Mr. Dorsky has, a number of times, spent over 2-3 hours on this site reading (probably making notes) and clicking on the "report this blog" link at the top. He's out clicked to various sites on Slander, Libel and so on. Knock yourself out Mr. Dorsky... and any other cyberpath who comes here.
However, your time would be better spent in counseling to work on your empathy and need to use & manipulate vulnerable people online. Additionally, doing whatever it took to speak to the person(s) you have hurt. Making amends. Talking about why you did it and together working towards healing would be a much better use of your time & resources.
"but the benefits of exposing his actions outweighed the fears."
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more. I have felt so much better now that I finally exposed the person who has been harassing and stalking several of us. It has definitely made her calm down and basically put her on point, to own up to her actions against others and to own up to her "supposed proof" of her being the victim. I only wish I had started the blog sooner. Thank you for a great site and for all of the comments and helpful links. It has been great to see your links to stories and explanations of what these sick individuals are doing. Thanks Fighter!
http://victimsofangela.wordpress.com