Some emails between "Lynn" one of Hick's targets and Hicks just days PRIOR to and days AFTER his marriage to Sandra (wife #7). Sandra confronts "Lynn" at the end - as Sandra has found out about his other women.... but not his other wives, yet. Hicks was doing a lot of online romancing and spending a lot of time online, said wife #7. Sound familiar??
-----Original Message-----
From: "Lynn"
Sent: Monday, May 19, 2003 10:04 AM
To: Hicks, Charles E Mr APD
Subject: RE: Good Morning
Good Morning to You as well!
I know you love this weather! You can windsail in your backyard!
Today is kind of a quiet day. Only a few things on my agenda, so it will allow me to consentrate on other "administrative duties"—whatever that is!! But I can assure you it is not golf!!
My weekend was bittersweet. It rained ALL weekend, which of course is not a good thing. Parts of Roanoke flooded again and I have a nice crop of mushrooms in my yards. But I know sun is coming....I'm just not sure when! This coming weekend I may go to Myrtle Beach--and if I do that, I expect only sunny weather!! This Sunday, I worked on picture albums some more. Old pictures this time. Some of the people are dead, so it was kind of sad. I also cleared out some things for the trash folks to pick-up on Monday morning-that way I couldn't change my mind.
Remember asking me to see the first Harry Potter movie with you and it never happened?
When the movie was released in Spring, 2002 I bought it. The last week of last May you had planned to come visit (until you again decided I was the evil "email demon" and blew it off). I had hoped for us to see the movie then. I had ordered Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Jelly Beans and some chocolate frogs for the occassion. I have now officially thrown out the food items. I had also found a wonderful rebel flag last Fall that I had intended to send you for Lee-Jackson-King Day this year. Again, due to circumstances beyond my control, I was not able to accomplish that--so it also went in the trash this weekend. So as you see....it has been a little bittersweet for me. But that's okay. Necessary actions. And now I am looking for the sun outside, and have maintained my inner sun thoughout!
You are quite a safe person to confide in. I have found being the same type of person, it is not often that I find folks in which to confide. (The Online Disinhibition Effect at work) In fact, as close as I am to the YaYa's and my sisters—I never tell them very much of consequence unless I need a sounding board to think out loud. It is kind of on a "need to know basis." I share a lot of frivolous things-to give the illusion of confiding. They need that because of confiding in me-they will actually ask why I never share things-so I found that frivolity tends to deflect that for them. See-we all have ways of achieving peace in our lives!!
So I guess I am taking a very long path to get to the cornerstone of this diatribe-thank you for being a safe confidante for me. I can’t say that you are always safe in other ways-but in this way—you are!! LOL!! (because he DOESN'T REALLY CARE)
I have a meeting I need to get ready for-so I have to run. I look forward to additional communications with you today-before you leave for the city of gold!!
Have a wonderful day. Take care. Be safe.
L
-----Original Message-----
From: Hicks, Charles E Mr APD [mailto:Charles.Hicks2@hqda.army.mil]
Sent: Monday, May 19, 2003 6:55 AM
To: 'Lynn'
Subject: RE: Good Morning
Good Morning.
Nothing like getting Fridays mail on Monday.
We had gotten rain all weekend. Thought it was supposed to stop by yesterday. Well, no one told Mother Nature. Smile (please someone whip Ed every time he does that smile crap!)
Hey, you tell me stuff because I am safe. Even if we lived in the same area with the same friends it still would be safe to tell me. I have always been a closed mouth and folks seem to get that impression after meeting me. That too can cause problems especially in the work place. As the EXTREME RULER OF MY KINGDOM in Calif. they would still come and tell me things I would be afraid or embarrassed to tell anyone, let alone my boss. Oh well, they were the good times. The times I could go and play golf from 10:30 until 1:30 in the afternoon. THE DAYS OF WINE AND ROSES. Where did that come from. Oh well. Smile (aggggggg!!)
You have a good day. I am heading to Fort Knox tomorrow so lets get in as much contact so I don't have Lynn withdrawals. (REMEMBER THIS LINE - He uses it on "CAROL" in an email sent the same day!! and btw - he was NOT going to Ft. Knox. He was getting married in 7 days to wife #7 - Sandra!!)
Ed
-----Original Message-----
From: "Lynn"
Sent: Friday, May 16, 2003 9:13 AM
To: Hicks, Charles E Mr APD
Subject: RE: Good Morning
I'm good today. I sure would have loved to sleep past 5:30 this morning though....it was cool and perfect sleeping weather!
We had the storm yesterday and then it rained some overnight, but actually the sun is out right now. In Roanoke yesterday, there were parts of the city that received over 3 inches of rain in that afternoon storm! I don't know how much rain I had, but the puppies' empty wading pool had enough water in it that they wanted to stand in it-maybe 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch.
How is your weekend stacking up? For the first time in several weeks, I have absolutely no solid plans. And to be honest, that feels pretty good!
Today will be a good day. I have several personal things to take care of by phone-which I try to avoid at work, but there are times.......
I need to schedule my follow-up testing next month for the ### irregularities. That is one of many things that I allowed to drive me bonkers over the last several months. But I have no control over the results-so I am thinking positively about the outcome. You are the only person I have mentioned this to, and I am not sure why I told you (Your gut was telling you WARNING "Lynn") Folks here who care about me would "fuss" over me and ask way too many questions if I shared it with them. You being the cool, logical person (detached & uncaring unless he wants something from you?) does have its down-side-I know you won't react so it is safe to tell you.
I also need to make room reservations for ### and ###'s ##'s June wedding in Richmond. It is one of those big, catholic, events that lasts all afternoon and night. ### offered ### $ to elope, but the intended and her family really wants the wedding. So they are counting on me to be there for them! LOL!!
And then I also need to get my puppies into the groomers in the near future-the last vestiges of their winter fur in driving me crazy-I just can't seem to get the remains completely combed out!
So that's my day. I will fit in "work" as I can! LOL!! Kidding!!
I hope your day in Crystal City is a good one. I know that you so love long, drawn-out meetings! I hope for your sake this isn't one of them.
Have a great weekend. Take care of yourself. Be safe. Talk to you later......
L
-----Original Message-----
From: Hicks, Charles E Mr APD [mailto:Charles.Hicks2@hqda.army.mil]
Sent: Friday, May 16, 2003 7:27 AM
To: 'Lynn"
Subject: Good Morning
How are you today? I am heading over to Crystal City for a meeting that will last most of the day. I wish you a great Friday even though it is probably raining........... Cheery hearts don't allow rain to dampen spirits...........
Have a great day. Chat with you soon.
Ed
------
(4 days after Hicks' wedding to wife #7 Sandra)
Quoting "Hicks, Charles E Mr APD"
Good Morning
I was wondering if you thought I had forgotten about you. No, I have not. No access to my mail and I could not remember your work email address. (Ed was ON HIS HONEYMOON!!) I finally put it into my Palm Pilot this morning where it should have been all along. (but Ed -your WIFE will find it there!!)
Thank you very much for the card. I am so glad you had a wonderful time in Myrtle Beach. I like your adventurous spirit. You are also probably one of the most liberal persons I have met here on the East Coast. You should be proud of yourself for not letting color infest your thinking like so many others here have. You have no limits and that must give you a great feeling. I bet there were some great looking bikes there. I love motorcycles but would not own one here.
Traffic, Ill prepared motorist and narrow roads have tainted my thoughts on doing that.
I came back from the Piggy Bank as broke as when I left here. They were not handing out free samples or anything. What is becoming of this great country we live in. Smile. (No you just MARRIED another PIGGY BANK!!)
I will write more later. Need to dive into this email and take care of anything important or that others deem important. (like the other women and my new wife and more online dating too!!)
Be good and have a great day. Again, thanks for the greeting.
Ed
-----Original Message-----
From: "Lynn"
Sent: Friday, May 30, 2003 10:14 AM
To: Hicks, Charles E Mr APD
Subject: Hello......
Good Morning Ed Hicks!
Forget about me?? You?? Never!!
Select not to contact me?? You?? Quite possible!!
Not knowing your holiday weekend plans or your assignment for this week, I made the assumption that you would contact me as time allowed! And you did!!
I hope you enjoyed your weekend as much as I did. I had a very experiential, fun filled, time!! I have already written a letter to the Sun Times in SC expressing my outrage that helmets are not required in that state. There were 8 deaths during Harley Week and 4 deaths during Black Bikers Weekend. All involved head injuries. Outrageous. I am also considering contacting my Congressman with the idea that it should be a national law--I am sure States' rights prohibit that--but I am still feeling outrage! Folks keep telling me I can't save the world--and I keep telling them they can't know that unless I stop trying!! We all have to believe in change and we all have to believe we can be the instruments of that change....that's why the 80's took us on a nose-dive back in time--no one looked beyond themselves!! (But Lynn, Ed is still living there- On PLANET ED!)
Ooops! Sorry. Tirade alert!!
Anyway. Write when you have the opportunity. I miss knowing your life..... (IF ONLY YOU REALLY KNEW!! ED'S GOT SO MANY 'LIVES')
Take Care. Be safe. Smile....I will find another funny for you yet.....
L
-----Original Message-----
From: "Lynn"
Sent: Thursday, June 19, 2003 3:52 PM
To: Hicks, Charles E Mr APD [mailto:Charles.Hicks2@hqda.army.mil]
Subject: RE: All about Willie
I am disappointed but that's okay. I am so out of touch with you now that a day won't have a significant impact. And no, I am not whining or complaining. I am just trying to be as honest with you as I know how. I know that is not always a good thing, but not expressing my feelings never improved things either. So-I will look forward to Saturday.
My meeting this morning dragged on - and on - and on. It was supposed to go from 11:30 to 1:00. I returned to the office at 3:00. I hate it when a very large male ego is in the room-everything becomes a power struggle. (wait until you hear about the REAL Ed's EGO!!!) I told a couple of the men (Mr. Ego had already booked) as I was leaving that it would have been simpler to just mark trees outside and be done with it! It is a benevolent organization with wonderful services and goals, but this guy thinks it is all about him. These type meetings always take a while for me to let go of and leaves a very bad disposition of my temper! I will be over it in a couple of hours- (he will make you pay covertly for your feminism by screwing & lying to you. Note- Psychopaths always make their targets 'pay' covertly in some way for something they don't like about the target. Usually AUTONOMY which in this case is "Lynn's" feminism)
So give me an idea about what time to expect you on Saturday and I will see you then. In the mean time, take care, be safe, and drive carefully on Saturday.
L
-----Original Message-----
From: Hicks, Charles E Mr APD [mailto:Charles.Hicks2@hqda.army.mil]
Sent: Thursday, June 19, 2003 11:17 AM
To: "Lynn"
Subject: RE: All about Willie
I just got off the phone with the teens that live at my house. They wanted to have a Bar B Que on Saturday but will move it to Friday evening since I am heading to Richmond. I wondered how to handle that but gave in. So, our dinner for Friday evening is out. I will be there with you on Saturday. That was not my first choice but I had promised them they could have their friends over for the Eat Out.......... See what I mean about having a life........
Okay, so we pack all our stuff into Saturday. Can we do that?
(THIS IS A TOTAL LIE - ED HAD PLANS WITH HIS WIFE (#7)
More later,
Ed
-----Original Message-----
From: "Lynn"
Sent: Thursday, June 19, 2003 11:09 AM
To: Hicks, Charles E Mr APD [mailto:Charles.Hicks2@hqda.army.mil]
Subject: RE: All about Willie
Good Morning!
I know you don't stereo-type people-unless they are teenagers!!
The concert sounded great! The weather here rained all evening and night-so I am glad the weather held for Willie! I know Willie has two new albums out (I read it in Time), but I haven't heard either.
It's good that you had fun!
I am running out the door for another meeting-different kind of Board (or bored) this time out. But I will write more when I return.
Hey-you never did say if you still plan to have dinner with me on Friday in that you are going to the wedding festivities on Saturday? (Ed has too many targets ...er... women in the air, Lynn!!)
More later.....
Have a great morning and stay safe!
L
-----Original Message-----
From: Hicks, Charles E Mr APD [mailto:Charles.Hicks2@hqda.army.mil]
Sent: Thursday, June 19, 2003 7:01 AM
To: 'Lynn"
Subject: All about Willie
First the weather was absolutely the best. Couldn't ask for a better day. The concert was outside with folks sitting on the grass and also there was seating under the roof. I had an inside seat (if you could call it inside) which seemed the prudent thing to do given the weather for the past two months. I never rained a drop. The temperature was about 80 degrees and perfect for all seating. The folks out on the grassy hills were popping the cans of beer and eating. We inside were could not take coolers there but could suck down a few beers, wine or whatever else you cared to drink.
On to Willie. He was the same old Willie. He talked more of the songs that he used to sing but that did not take away from his musical genius. He was great. I did not realize how well he played the guitar. He man can really play. I thoroughly enjoyed his performance as well as most who were there. I would do it again today if I had the chance. Well, maybe not since it is raining in buckets outside this morning.
I managed to avoid the guilt by not thinking about kids or other responsibilities. They are almost grown and if they cannot take life at this point they will never be able to in the future. I have done all I can, they have to do the rest.
So, no guilt. Had a great time. Willie was great as always. Only received a few funny glances but they were from folks that would have given me funny glances at Safeway. Smile. Oh, by the way I am not the one doing the stereotyping, it is others. I could care less what music anyone likes. I was just giving some inner thought to the fact that I would and almost was the only Black person there. I did see two others. Not bad for back here where color seems to be a dividing rod. (aren't you liberal? Predators come in all colors, genders & religions Ed!!) Glad you don't feel that way. :)
Well, I have given you all the facts of last night. Great, memorable and lots of fun. To me it was a lot of fun. Maybe to you a trip to the river with fireworks would be a measure of how much fun one can have. (Okay, just poking a little fun.)
I hope your day is filled with slack time or should I say time to breathe and formulate good thoughts as Directors should.
Chat with you later.
Me..........
Charles (Ed) Hicks
Army Electronic Library Branch
Standards and Technology Division
U.S. Army Publishing Directorate
Phone: 703-428-0565 [DSN: 221-0565]
-------
From: charles.hicks@usapa.army.mil [mailto:charles.hicks@usapa.army.mil]
Sent: Friday, July 18, 2003 7:21 AM
To: "Lynn"
Subject: I am Happy Now are you ?
Hi! charles.hicks@usapa.army.mil just sent you a music greeting from http://www.beatgreets.com!
To view your music greeting, simply click here
-----Original Message-----
From: "Lynn"
Sent: Friday, July 18, 2003 9:07 AM
To: Hicks, Charles E Mr USAPA [mailto:Charles.Hicks2@hqda.army.mil]
Subject: RE: I am Happy Now are you ?
Good Morning!
Yes, if you are happy-then that brings a smile to my face as well. Thank you for the music this morning-always a good start to the day! "I can name that tune in 5 notes-"
Looks like you will be able to play in the water this weekend, if you had any plans to do so-the weather will hold mostly on Saturday and all day on Sunday!
I am going to a cook-out tonight. A small gathering-so I will have a good time. I made little cucumber sandwiches last night-and a jug of margaritas-to contribute to the cause. Wish you could come out and play with us - The Ya-Ya's are going to be there-but we aren’t wearing out hats and glasses this time-since it is at a private home. We only do that in public!! We really aren't right in the head, are we!
I do hope your day is more fun than yesterday's. I am going to try and complete a plan for my Board and a report for the Board of Supervisors-both meet next week. If I don't finish-I can do some stuff later on this weekend (if it rains on Saturday afternoon).
I miss you Ed. But that's a good thing, is it not? It reflects how I feel--(wait until you find out the TRUTH!!)
So. Have a terrific day. Take care. Stay safe. And laugh out loud at least a few times, won't you?
L
-----Original Message-----
From: Hicks, Charles E Mr USAPA [mailto:Charles.Hicks2@hqda.army.mil]
Sent: Friday, July 18, 2003 9:34 AM
To: "Lynn"
Subject: RE: I am Happy Now are you ?
Being there sounds like a great idea. ### has a friend coming in from Calif. Tonight (or should I say tomorrow morning) Actually Sat. morning by than. He will be here for a week. He visited us last year as well. Nice kid. I have known him since he was about 7 years old. He and ### have remained fast friends through the years. He wants to come here for college next year. I don't think I can deal with more teens. If I recall you and I talked about that very situation last year. (Your latest wife is helping there, isn't she Ed?)
My weekend will be a little windsurfing if the wind blows. That does not happen to often here.
Sounds like you will have a good time tonight at the party. Yes, I wish I could be there as well. Schedules will have to be revamped so we can have some face time.
You just smile a smile for me today. You are loved toooooooooo. (but not by ED!!! his love is mostly for HIMSELF!!)
Ed Hicks
-----Original Message-----
From: "Lynn"
Sent: Friday, July 18, 2003 10:05 AM
To: Hicks, Charles E Mr USAPA [mailto:Charles.Hicks2@hqda.army.mil]
Subject: RE: I am Happy Now are you ?
Alright now, you need to "re-frame" this proposition--make it work for you. Think about welcoming ## friend to come and go to school here, with the stipulation that he and ## are roommates elsewhere. If they have the motivation to hold jobs and pay rent or whatever, then you are one step closer to emancipation! I know you that somehow, you believe this would come back to bite you in the butt…..but if you are serious about actually charging your kids rent anyway (oh please, Ed would take money from a poor man- his own kid was no biggie!)-- they may want to go ahead and look at living elsewhere—and this way they would have another contributor toward expenses!
I know nothing about the actual situation, but speaking in generalities, it sounded like a viable option for you to consider! If not now-then at some future time in your children’s academic careers!
Man--why does a social worker believe that everyone want to hear what they have to say!
Sorry. But if I hold my words in too long-they contribute heavily to ulcerations!
Regardless-you will have fun this weekend. Kids are fascinating-especially if you like them!
-----Original Message-----
From: Hicks, Charles E Mr USAPA [mailto:Charles.Hicks2@hqda.army.mil]
Sent: Friday, July 18, 2003 10:12 AM
To: "Lynn"
Subject: RE: I am Happy Now are you ?
You offer sound advice. I have thought of situations like that and wish they would come up with a solution like that themselves. I will throw that out to them when ### is here and see what they say. Rent in this area is so darn high. Not like over your way.
Hey, what are we if we cannot accept advice from the ones we care about. Even though I may not act like it, I do listen to sound advice--- (YOU DO!? How about getting divorces, telling the truth, not playing vulnerable women and being a human being to people, Ed?)
This is Friday at 10:15am and I am tired: maybe just tired of this place for the week.
We are supposed to have rain this evening and possibly throughout the weekend. If it rains you cannot cut the South Forty. I know that would break your heart.
Hey, I don't know how long I will be here today. If we misconnect you have a wonderful weekend. Know that I am thinking of you always. (GAG!!)
Ed Hicks
-----Original Message-----
From: "Lynn"
Sent: Friday, July 18, 2003 10:48 AM
To: Hicks, Charles E Mr USAPA
Subject: RE: I am Happy Now are you ?
Trust me on this, sweetness--showers this evening, sun tomorrow, showers later tomorrow afternoon and evening, and then sun on Sunday (hence the name! HaHa). So play outside this afternoon and tomorrow morning-and all day Sunday!
You may be tired--but one thing I am sure of is that you have "retirementitis!" But kick back early if it is raining, watch a movie and nap through most of it-that is a wonderful afternoon. If it is still sunny this afternoon, kick back on a swing, read a little, and nap. It is that kind of down time that will restore your energy for the rest of the weekend!
Take care of yourself. Stay safe. And know that there is a caring aura sent to surround, always. Talk to you on Monday!
L
-----Original Message-----
From: Hicks, Charles E Mr USAPA [mailto:Charles.Hicks2@hqda.army.mil]
Sent: Friday, July 18, 2003 10:54 AM
To: "Lynn"
Subject: RE: I am Happy Now are you ?
If you get bored when the rain comes you can write me an email - use - EdHicks@hotmail.com. You can tell me about the party and the great time you had with your friends. That might make for interesting reading. Speaking of reading, I am reading the new Harry Potter book and should get a long way into it if the weather is bad.
I would much rather be SPOONING with you. (IMBEDDING DESIRE with words, typical predator)
Have a peaceful weekend. Don't take any wooden nickels. (Ed you are a walking WOODEN NICKEL)
Ed Hicks
-----Original Message-----
From: "Lynn"
Sent: Friday, July 18, 2003 11:04 AM
To: Hicks, Charles E Mr USAPA [mailto:Charles.Hicks2@hqda.army.mil]
Subject: RE: I am Happy Now are you ?
I am about mid-way through Harry's book. My mom thought it was too "verbose" (her word-not mine), but she liked it anyway. I am thoroughly enjoying it! But I have forgotten so many details from the first 4 books, that I want to re-read them again! Maybe I will do a "college scan" of the other books again before I finish this one.
How about you? How do you like this one?
I will write to you this weekend. A poor substitute for SPOONING, but it will just have to do for now!
L
-----Original Message-----
From: Hicks, Charles E Mr APD [
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2003 9:16 AM
To: "Lynn"
Subject: I had a great time with you ..........................
I just wanted you to know what I thought and felt of our meeting.
Hope you day goes very well. I don't have much planned but there again this is Monday and things have a habit of popping up.
Be good and take care. I trust your drive home Sunday was without incident.
Charles (Ed) Hicks
Army Electronic Library Branch
Standards and Technology Division
U.S. Army Publishing Directorate
Phone: 703-428-0565 [DSN: 221-0565]
-----Original Message-----
From: "Lynn"
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2003 12:11 PM
To: Hicks, Charles E Mr APD [mailto:Charles.Hicks2@hqda.army.mil]
Subject: RE: I had a great time with you ..........................
Good Morning Ed!
I am starting to write this in the morning, but there is a good chance that "transmit" will come after the noon hour! It was busy this morning. I got a late start from home because of a couple of phone calls-people who tried to check in last night but my phone was busy then because of folks checking in!! LOL!! I guess it is good to be missed on some level! I mean, my gosh, I was only gone 2 1/2 days!! I guess the craziness of last week's full moon still has folks on edge and just wanted to make sure all was well. It gets kind of scary to think that I am the voice of sanity!! Then I rushed into a meeting, barely on time, and the same male ego was there that tormented me last Thursday. This time, each time he spoke I just imagined him as a two year old with a dirty diaper whining to his mommy.....it allows me a different perspective and it didn't get under my skin during this meeting. Is that sick or what? (um...yes)
Yesterday driving home was quite an experience for me. I think I had what is considered an emotional outburst. I cried. I cussed. I ranted. I raved. And by Charlottesville, I found some level of peace. It is truly amazing that passerby folks did not call the state police about a crazy woman-they must have assumed I was singing with the radio!! The cause for this unlikely behavior, you ask? Saturday. (Oh god you were with Ed!! you poor target)
I realized much the same thing as you. And I decided life and being a grown-up totally sucks.
I loved the time we had together. It flew by. I realized, once again, why I know you are the true love of my life. Regardless of outcome. And that set off a wave of diverse emotion that I was not quite prepared for. I thought I was in much better control of myself. Guess I was wrong. But by Charlottesville, I stopped, got a caffeine drink (I think the teller thought I was stoned because my eyes were so glassy - because you'd been zapped by a mind numbing emotional PREDATOR!), and cranked up the stereo the remaining 3 hours, and all was well. When I got home, happy puppies greeted me and I picked up the cards of my life, as I have been dealt, and the few wayward tears that have since made an appearance periodically have been banished!
(Guess all this story was a little more than you had anticipated. Sorry.)
But I am okay. I simply look forward to the next opportunity that we have to share our pounding hearts. I'm just glad you didn't see the tears as I walked away Saturday night..... (you will have more to cry about soon)
Have a great Monday afternoon. I need to get my head back down to tasks at hand.....I have a grant to write today and tomorrow and an appeal decision to write-up before Wednesday. Plus, I want to go home early on at least one day and plant my summer pansies-they aren't dead yet, but they soon will be if I can't get them in the ground before the rains come again! Aarrgggg. I refuse to complain about the rain, but please! More sunshine!
Take care of yourself. Stay safe. Write when you have the opportunity.
L
-----Original Message-----
From: Hicks, Charles E Mr APD [mailto:Charles.Hicks2@hqda.army.mil]
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2003 1:49 PM
To: 'LindaJ'
Subject: RE: I had a great time with you ..........................
Probably not the forum to say this but so I will keep it short.
I WANTED TO STAY WITH YOU BUT HARNESSED MY DESIRE FOR VARIOUS REASONS (Ed, you had to GET HOME TO YOUR WIFE YOU LIAR!). You know me by now: I did not want to appear sexually aggressive or have you thinking that is all I wanted. (they ALL say this- they ALL say its more than sex..... Always proclaiming their "love" or moral, chivalrous nature. IT'S A TOTAL LIE SAID ONLY TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE IN IT) Sort of like the first time we spent time together. Full of doubt, apprehension and now add a lot of guilt in with it and you have my feelings. Life has dealt us a dirty blow and I don't know how to get around it. Not your fault for sure and I refuse to take the blame as well. How one gets around the crap and back to reality, life as we see it, normalcy or at least feeling normal as defined by me.........
I don't know. I do know I do not want to hurt you. (again, a typical LINE.... he's already hurting her, just reeling her in for more!) I think there has been too much of that without provocation on either of our parts.
You get the gist of what I am saying. (Predators LOVE to let their Targets FILL IN THE BLANKS FOR THEM. THIS IS CLASSIC!) I hope so since I have to run downstairs to a meeting.
Be sweet and think of the 90 + degrees you will have tomorrow.. Smile
Ed
-----Original Message-----
From: "Lynn"
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2003 2:37 PM
To: Hicks, Charles E Mr APD
Subject: RE: I had a great time with you ..........................
There is never a proper forum for expressing emotions in this crazy world. That's why we do the best we can with what we have. You have no idea how nervous I was in seeing you again. It was worse than the initial meeting. This time was a type of closing of a gaping hole in time. I was most afraid of not feeling in reality what was left in limbo a year ago. I guess that is one reason I was not prepared for the emotional rollercoaster that ultimately came for me.
All I know is that if and when the proper time comes for us, it will happen (never Lynn never).
And what I can tell you is that fate lies in your hands much more than in mine-for many reasons-some obvious, some not.
But there are several "truisms" that exist for me. One, you are the true love of my life. Two, despite the pain and loss, my unconditional love endured and still endures. (his is all conditional - you are playing right into his game!) Three, I am always content and therefore happy when we have time together. I believe that it feels "right" when we are together. Four, with you, I take what comes and expect no more (because you aren't getting more than player's lines & a quickee). Hurting me would come from dishonesty, deceit, and planting false hopes. (YES IT WOULD!!! Get a clue, he's a PREDATOR) And finally, you must realize that I believe myself to be fatally flawed, so I have no real expectations in a relationship. The abandonment always comes. (The target blames herself, just what predators want!)
So there you have five pieces of the inner wall of which I willingly allow no breeches. Not that they are any big surprise to you, since I do wear my heart on my sleeve. However, I do try to protect myself in some manner-real or imagined. Now just seemed to be the time open the inner sanctum a little bit......
You know your heart. Listen to it. The rest will follow. Unless your willing deceive or lie to me (he already has), or worse-to yourself, it will be okay. Like I said before: Regardless of outcome. ("Lynn" had already been confronted once by wife #7 but went back for more!)
And I thank you for your intentions to not hurt me. (Lynn will take that back since he ALREADY has... read on..)
Are your relationships always this complicated? (YES!!) Or do I just promote that in people!!
Hope your meeting went well this afternoon. I categorically DO NOT look forward to 90 degrees by mid-week. But I will take the sun on any terms for a few days!! Enjoy it yourself! At least I have mountains, cool breezes, and trees to offset it all!! (Oops....sorry, didn't mean to sound "gloaty")
More later.....
L
-----Original Message-----
From: Hicks, Charles E Mr APD [mailto:Charles.Hicks2@hqda.army.mil]
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2003 3:16 PM
To: "Lynn"
Subject: RE: I had a great time with you ..........................
You are correct in so many of your statements. Especially ones which pit the heart against reality (surely not YOUR heart, Ed) I still have ties here and responsibilities I wish I did not have. (YOU? ED?) Smile. I cannot ask you for time. That is totally unfair and unrealistic. So, despite the fact that I could drive the kids out, retire, purchase a place in the woods so things looked right and than move in with you. That sound is coming from my heart and not based on reality. I am trying to think into this and it is not working except increasing tension which will surely give me a headache soon. I will leave it for now. Know that I really care for you no matter where or how we turn out. That is not a death sentence for us nor is it a, "I promise".
To answer one other question embedded in your note. No, you are not the first to come into my life and not have it frothed with turmoil. You are not the cause whereas the one other time (HOW MANY? YOU TALKING ABOUT YOUR WIVES? AND THE MONEY YOU TOOK?) this person just could not take no for an answer. (typical - the predator plays "VICTIM") I believe we talked about it briefly during one of your late night chats. (Which lasted for hours) Smile.
You know me, I just want to live my life and not screw up anyone else's (this HAS to be a joke, Ed). Peace at almost any cost is my motto. (yeah, keep your mouth shut and don't expose ole' Ed!!) Don't hurt anyone except the type persons we were talking about on Saturday............. (for you is that anything FEMALE, Ed?)
Hey, you have a great day. Yes, I like you will welcome the heat if only for a couple days. Smile. It will take a week of 90 + to dry things out here. Hopefully I survive................
Ed
-----Original Message-----
From: "Lynn"
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2003 3:25 PM
To: Hicks, Charles E Mr APD [mailto:Charles.Hicks2@hqda.army.mil]
Subject: RE: I had a great time with you ..........................
Just promise me you will take me whale watching---
-------
OOP! ED!! DID YOU ACTUALLY GET CAUGHT!?
From: "Lynn"
Sent: Wednesday, July 23, 2003 12:34 PM
To: Hicks, Charles E Mr USAPA [mailto:Charles.Hicks2@hqda.army.mil]
Subject: FW: Let's 'Chat'
Some interesting mail I received to day. There was also a phone message given to my receptionist that implied that I was the "other woman" in a marriage and I would be dealing with the wife today in some form or another.
I left my meeting after becoming physically ill from the phone message. I am at work only because I have a Board meeting tonight. My computer at home crashed last night, again, and I am beginning to believe that it is being sabotaged in some way-but I am too cyberly challenged to even know how to tell.
Things always come in three's, and if this is the 3rd, it is quite a doozy. I could use some input about no--
( Now she, like "Carol" Is looking for closure & explanation. Don't expect the truth from Ed!! the TRUTH was worse than they all knew!!)
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