Exposing Online Predators & Cyberpaths

NET ABUSERS ARE PATHOLOGICAL

noreply@blogger.com (Fighter) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 00:13:00 +0000

IT'S OFFICIAL: NET ABUSERS ARE PATHOLOGICAL
By Evan Schuman, TechWire

Another yardstick of success will be achieved by the Internet community: It will be awarded its first official mental health disorder.

The newly identified disorder will be dubbed Pathological Internet Use (PIU) and will be christened during the presentation of a major medical paper at the annual convention of the American Psychological Association in Chicago.

The term is being coined by Dr. Kimberly Young, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Pittsburgh at Bradford, in Bradford, Pa. With her paper's presentation, the APA will classify excessive Internet use as addictive, in the same way that drugs (including alcohol), gambling, video games, and some types of eating disorders are today officially considered addictive.

Like those other ailments, Internet addiction starts when the rest of the person's life starts to fall apart, the paper stated. The Internet is a fine hobby or work tool, until it causes problems with social partners, work, or school, Young said.

Young studied 396 cases of PIU-afflicted people and drew some overall conclusions.

Net marketers need not fear, as traditional Web surfing accounted for only 7 percent of the Internet addicts and even more information-oriented tools (gophers and FTP sites, for example) represented only an additional 2 percent.

"Upon examination, traditional information protocols and Web pages were the least utilized compared with more than 90 percent who became addicted to the two-way communication functions: chat rooms, MUDs [Multi-User Dungeons], newsgroups, and E-mail," Young said. "This makes the case that database searches -- while interesting and often time-consuming -- are not the actual reasons Dependents become addicted to the Internet."

Young said one surprise in the results was the lack of high-tech people among the addicted. "While it is a common perception that those addicted to the Internet are computer savvy individuals, these demographic results show that only 8 percent came from high-tech jobs," she said. "Compare this to the 42 percent who indicated having no permanent jobs and the 39 percent who worked in low-tech fields. It is typically newbies who become excessive Internet users."

Among the jobs that she classified as low-tech were secretaries, bank tellers, teachers, advertising executives, and journalists.

The report said that the attraction of the Internet revolves around its perceived anonymity, where people feel comfortable acting out in ways they would never consider in real life.

"The ability to enter into a bodiless state of communication enabled users to explore altered states of being that fostered emotions that were new and richly exciting," Young said. "Such uninhibited behavior is not necessarily an inevitable consequence of visual anonymity, but depends upon the nature of the group and the individual personality of the online user."

"For those who felt unattractive, it was perceived easier to pick up another person through cybersex than in real life," she said.

But beyond sexual issues, newsgroups and chat lines allow people to literally create and secretly test new personalities before trying them out in the real world. "Beyond amusement, reinventing oneself is a way to fulfill an unmet need. The loss of a social identity online allows one to reconstruct an ideal self in place of a poor self-concept," Young said. "Those who suffer from low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy, or frequent disapproval from others are at the highest risk" of becoming Net addicts.

She quoted one participant in the survey as telling her, "By day, I am a mild-mannered husband, but at night I become the most aggressive bastard online."

The addiction can become a problem when the new emotional creation makes inroads into real lives or when the time spent in the virtual life takes away from responsibilities in the real life.

The addicted Internet user will spend an average of 38 hours per week online dealing with nonemployment/nonacademic efforts, compared with "nonaddicts" in the survey who averaged eight hours. Almost half of the participants diagnosed with PIU reported that they get less than four hours of sleep per night due to late log-in sessions.

Another reason for some of the addictions is the sense of community that some newsgroups create. "With routine visits to a particular group (chat area or newsgroup, for example), a high degree of familiarity among other group members is established.

Like all communities, the cyberspace culture has its own set of values, standards, language, signs, and artifacts, and individuals adapt to the current norms of the group," Young said.

"One can easily become involved in the lives of others almost like watching a soap opera and thinking of the characters as real people," she said.

Young's report said that this is especially attractive to people who might find it difficult to establish other social circles. "Homebound caretakers, the disabled, retired individuals, and homemakers have limited access to others," she said.

Internet addiction centers have already been created at facilities ranging from the University of Maryland at College Park to Proctor Hospital in Peoria, Ill., to Harvard affiliate McLean Hospital.

The test group broke down into 157 men and 239 women; the average age for the males was 29, and the average age for the women was 43 .

WHAT CONSTITUTES PATHOLOGICAL INTERNET USE?
Do you:

* feel preoccupied with the Internet (i.e., thinking about the Internet when offline)? * feel a need to use the Internet with increasing amounts of time in order to achieve satisfaction? * have an inability to control your Internet use?

* feel restless or irritable when attempting to cut down to stop Internet use?

* use the Internet as a way of escaping from problems or of relieving a poor mood (i.e., feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, or depression)?

* lie to family members or friends to conceal the extent of involvement with the Internet? (i.e. online sexual interaction with anonymous persons, online relationships your family/friends know nothing about, having an online life that only you know about?)

* jeopardize or risk the loss of significant relationship, job, educational or career opportunity because of the Internet?

* after spending an excessive amount of money on online fees (such as for online gambling, porn or shopping), often return another day?

* go through withdrawal when offline (e.g., increased depression, anxiety, etc.)?

* stay online longer than originally intended?

Individuals who met four or more of these criteria during a 12-month period were classified as dependent.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE

Estranged Husband Cyberstalks Then Kills Wife

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 00:43:00 +0000

Karen Kahler hired investigator to stop estranged husband from hacking family computer.

By Colleen Hogan

(Missouri, USA) Court documents reveal more about Karen Kahler's allegations that she suffered long-term abuse at the hands of her husband.

In cursive handwriting, Kahler wrote of the abuse she suffered at the hands of her husband and her fears that the situation would only get worse.

She wrote, "I'm afraid it will continue and possibly involve the kids when we do move out. He has forced himself on me, pushed me, man-handled me, now to the point of hurting me. I'm afraid it will escalate so far that someone is going to get seriously hurt."

Karen Kahler, her two daughters and grandmother were gunned down Saturday night in Kansas. Police say Kraig Kahler pulled the trigger. But even before that it appears he was stalking his wife in cyber space.

Karen hired an investigator from Columbia business Collectech back in July to keep her families computer safe after it appears her husband hacked into it, sending fake emails to try and slander his wife.

The deaths have left women's advocates more committed than ever to ending domestic abuse.

Barbara Hodges is the executive director of The Shelter in Columbia. She says stalking cases are hard to prosecute, especially cyber-stalking cases.

"There is probably a need for greater laws when it comes to cyber-crime because the technology is growing faster than laws can be passed,” said Hodges.

She also says abusive relationships are not limited to a certain segment of society. It's important to make sure you know the warning signs of abuse that can include a gradual need for control from a partner.

"Do they want to redirect your behaviors? If it's something that you do that's just a normal part of your life that is not harmful to anyone, it's just who you are, and they say, 'I don't want you to do that anymore,' said Hodges. “That leads to violence against the woman.”

A working safety plan is important for you and your family if you need to get out of a bad situation.

Two memorial services are planned 12/10/09 for the Kahler family. The first will be at Rock Bridge High School, where Emily graduated and Lauren attended this year from 3:15 p.m. to 4:15 p.m. Then, at 5:30 p.m., friends of Karen Kahler will gather at the Columbia Activity and Recreation Center where she worked as a personal trainer.

original article here

Should IPs Lead in Curbing Internet Defamation?

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 00:38:00 +0000

A friend once said to me, “the internet is good for two things: slander and porn.” For those who have been the target of electronic harassment and bullying, that sentiment could not ring truer.

Too often, individuals and groups on the Internet abuse the free flow of thoughts that is the promise of the Web to turn around and attack or demean others. Oftentimes, those affected can do little to protect themselves, and find themselves on the short end of the stick.

Why does this occur? Simply put, the US has made it easy for ISPs to skirt any responsibility when it comes to what is posted on their servers. Thus some providers will turn a blind eye when a victim comes a-complaining.

It’s a shame. Take for example Google: they will only remove information when it contains personal or copyrighted data, but it is quite difficult to get them to act otherwise. While I can understand Google’s position not to get involved, in the same token most times its pretty easy to discern a malicious site from a legitimate one.

These sites will often abuse Google’s ranking algorithms to gain higher prominence in results — such as the good ‘ol Googlebomb — which is hit or miss as whether the search giant will deal with it.

Other ISPs will provide lip service to the fact that they’ll deal with this type of content, then dance around the fact when you contact them. I’ve had slanderous content written about me, and I’ve contacted the ISP whose servers hosted the content in an attempt to hold them to their policies.

What I found was a “pass the buck” mentality. This particular ISP said that since they were only leasing an IP from them, their terms of use did not apply. Strange: the traffic is still passing through you, so why would you not enforce your own policies?

Kind of like saying, “oh, this website that uses one of our IPs is a piracy site which we specifically prohibit, but we’ll let them go since they aren’t on one of our servers.” Yeah, I think the RIAA or MPAA would buy that one!

In the end, why are we so powerless against defamation in many cases? It’s all thanks to Section 230(c)(1) of the Communications Decency Act, basically. That reads:

“No provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be treated as the publisher or speaker of any information provided by another information content provider.”

Essentially, ISPs don’t have to do anything, thanks to this clause. In our effort to protect the rights of everyone, we’re indirectly protecting hurtful speech as well. That’s just great.

Other countries have begun to clamp down on online defamation. For example, in Canada, the courts are now increasingly more apt to compel websites to reveal the identities of anonymous posters when defamation is involved.

These same countries are also beginning to force ISPs to identify who’s behind websites that are defamatory. While I am a strong supporter of staying anonymous in most cases (journalism depends heavily on those types of sources), when its for malicious purposes, you shouldn’t be getting any protection.

While I am not saying the ISP should tell the defamed who’s writing about them without the courts, the threat of disclosure may stop many from writing purposely hurtful missives about their victims.

Neither am I coming at this solely because this has happened to me. I’ve always been kind of disturbed by the fact that a lot of speech that people couldn’t get away with in real life seems to be free game on the Web. It doesn’t make sense.

It is a First Amendment right to be able to say what you want. So I can understand some people’s wariness of control over what people say. But can’t those of us who are subject to the malicious words of others get some relief?

What’s so wrong with dealing with stuff like this out of a court room, that’s what I want to know?

ORIGINAL ARTICLE

Reasons to Expose Them

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 00:04:00 +0000

It's not your job to keep their secrets

You're only as sick as your secrets

Secrets are dangerous

Have some sympathy for his next target. By telling, at least the new person goes in with their eyes open

Exposing them stimulates the same reward centers of the brain that desserts, desire, and drugs do. It is better than using drugs, drinking or gaining 40 lbs.

Like smoking, the more people you tell, the harder it will be for you to go back to the way it was.

Vindication. People who 'get it' will now realize you have good reason to act the way you do. You might also get some help for any post-emotional rape or PTSD issues you are having.

Role model. Other women (or men) may stop hiding in shame when they know what you went through.

Your cyberpath will have a harder time going after you if everyone knows. (Although there may be narcissistic rage & smear - just stick to your truth and stand firm.)

Here are some ways to stop keeping their secrets:

Join a Domestic Violence Group (most are free and are for verbal and emotional abuse too. You can see how their behavior often escalates and how if you don't stop it now, things will escalate) or Online Support group like ours or Sandra Brown, MA's

Participate in their public demonstrations, especially if its in the same town where you live. (If asked to speak, talk about Cyberpaths and what happened to you. You might be shocked how many are living in silent agony with similar shame & PTSD)

Tell the people who ask the truth without sugar coating or "protecting him." (Don't run around volunteering info on why. When anyone asks, tell them as many facts as interests them without rambling or preaching. If they don't believe you -- just smile, say "you will find out eventually" and walk away.)

Write press releases for your DV group or other publications and use your cyberpath as a concrete example. (Being published like this helps other women know they are not alone.)

Tell your counselor. If your counselor keeps trying to say you are "half the problem because of your behavior", get a counselor who understands online/emotional abuse, psychopathy and mind control. Don't try to educate a counselor who tells you to just "move on" or "get over it." Find one who gets it.

Tell your mother, father, and friends everything (where appropriate)!
(example: Telling actually saved the life of Marcia Ridgeway, the Green River Killer's 2nd wife.

He had tried to choke her from behind once. She told everyone, including her father who talked to Gary about it.

Years later, after his arrest, he told police that he had wanted to kill Marcia, his wife, but was afraid he would get caught because she told everyone that he attempted it once.)

Remember that the next you think you are "protecting" your cyberpath or his family by not telling the abuse you suffered at their hands.

Keep a detailed journal. This will help remind you when you forget how bad it is and can help you see your patterns. You can also later use it when you want to write a book or if you need evidence in court. Dated journals are court admissible.

Also, don't delete all the chats or emails - save them to a disk if you need them later. That way you don't have to read & obsess over their toxic words; but you do have them as evidence.

A journal can keep you from believing his words "you're crazy", "it never happened", "I never said/ did that", "it was just a game", "you blew it out of proportion", "she's a scorned/ obsessed woman", "she's been stalking me", and other crazy-making ways they try to turn it around on you.

Write a book and publish it. Do your own web site with your story and pictures. Post all pictures that relate -- photos he sent you, emails- with full headers, chats, gifts he sent --whatever pertains and illustrates the relationship.

List them as an abuser on the web. Do so only after you have established NO CONTACT with them. Use only sites that require verification and stick to the truth. Be sure you can back up what you say about some 110% and don't list things like their phone number, address or social security number - as that could lead to you being charged with aiding in identity theft.

Once you are out of their grip, you not only get to express yourself in an emotionally satisfying way, but you may save another person tremendous grief if they finds the cyberpath's name on one of these sites.

Excerpted from This Site

HOW DOES A CYBERPATH LEARN TO BE A CYBERPATH?

noreply@blogger.com (Fighter) — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 00:59:00 +0000

"the way they interact with others makes them extremely potent manipulators. How potent? So potent that their powers of manipulation are spooky and seem downright magical.

"How does the way they interact with others make them such expert manipulators? Because practice makes perfect, and they have been practicing the art of manipulation in every interaction since birth.

"Indeed, in playing to the mirror of your face, that's what they're doing, isn't it? Manipulating you. Everything they say and do is entirely for effect, to get the reaction they want from you. That IS manipulation.

"They're regulating, manipulating your reactions. But you aren't like them. Your reactions come from within. So, what are they ultimately regulating and manipulating? Your thoughts. Manipulation is mind control.
"Manipulation is a subtle thing. So subtle that we are usually unaware of being manipulated, unless the manipulator blows it and breaks the spell. So, manipulators are putting thoughts into our heads that we think are ours. A very dangerous thing.

"Since a narcissistic cyberpath isn't acting on normal human premises, since all he is doing is playing you for the reaction he wants, truth is irrelevant. Truth or lies — it's all the same to him. Whichever works. Usually that's lies.

"It would be more correct to say that there is no such thing as truth to a narcissistic cyberpath. Because there is no such thing as truth when playing Pretend. That's why narcissists and psychopaths beat lie detector tests. (In fact, so do many people from "shame" cultures where lying to save face of oneself, one's family, one's tribe, and one's religion is considered morally necessary and expected.)
"Psychopathic Cyberpaths are known to get so good at manipulating people that, by the time they're teenagers, they routinely fool and manipulate mental healthcare professionals, judges, prison officials, parole boards, and social workers who know they are psychopaths, are on the lookout for attempts to manipulate them, and should be immune to manipulation.

"It isn't a matter of intelligence: it's a matter of practice, experience. This is because most of what transpires in interaction happens too quickly to think it through.

"This phenomenon is called Natural Learning. It's how we learn to walk and talk."

ORIGINAL ARTICLE
~~~~~~~~~~

excerpt (with edits to apply to cyberpaths)

"He gets her to reveal what she is seeking in a relationship. He will be sure to meet all her requirements item for item until she is hooked. Almost all the women indicated they told the[cyber]path who and what they were looking for in a person. They also told the [cyber]paths all of their hopes and dreams, not knowing that these disclosures would eventually be used against them.

[Cyber]paths largely “learn” these skills through mirroring or mimicking since they are not part of their true emotional repertoire. Some [cyber]paths say they have learned how to lure by watching romantic movies or eavesdropping on other relationships so they understand the linguistics (what to say to her), behaviors (how to act), and romantic gestures (what women like). "

- Sandra Brown, MA - WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS

Stalker Blames Religious Upbringing

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 00:31:00 +0000

by Jeremy Pierce

A GOLD Coast radiographer who tricked a hospital nurse into sending him nude photos of herself has blamed his crime on a strict religious upbringing and an addiction to pornography.

Jordan David Hennig, 26, created an elaborate female persona on the internet using profile pictures of an American porn star to gain the trust of workmate Belinda Fitzgerald.

Hennig faced Southport Magistrates Court yesterday, pleading guilty to one count of unlawfully stalking Fitzgerald, who has since been forced to leave her job at Pindara Private Hospital for another hospital.

Magistrate George Wilkie fined Hennig $4000 and placed him on probation for two years.

The court was told Hennig went to great lengths to create a fake online modelling agency, and contacted Fitzgerald on Facebook under the alias of Megan Jones, saying "she" wanted to use photos of the attractive nurse to promote a spa and beauty business called "Completely Bare".

Fitzgerald sent Hennig several nude pictures of herself taken during a photo shoot for a breast cancer campaign.

To build up Fitzgerald's trust, the fictional Jones sent her raunchy pictures, supposedly of "herself", but which were really of American porn queen Meggan Malone.

The two stayed in regular contact via email and text messages for several months between September last year and March. It was only after Fitzgerald stumbled across links to Megan Jones on Hennig's work computer that she smelled a rat.

Defence lawyer Nick Tobin said his client was ashamed of his actions, but pointed to a strict Seventh Day Adventist upbringing as reason for his behaviour, saying the church "restricted relationships between the sexes".

"He has had very little experience in the way of relationships with women," Mr Tobin said.

He also said Hennig was receiving counselling from a church support group to help battle his "addiction to pornographic material".

Fitzgerald, who did not attend yesterday's proceedings, said she felt let down by the result of the case.

"It's no surprise, I wouldn't expect any more from the court system," she said.

"He gets a fine, but what about the financial burden it caused me?"

Hennig, who is still employed at Pindara, refused to talk to the media outside the court.

original article here

DISHONESTY: JUST ONE DISADVANTAGE OF ONLINE DATING

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 00:42:00 +0000

Perhaps the most commonly recognized and deserved disadvantage of online dating is the propensity for dishonesty. There is an abundance of stories about e-liars, commonly involving six months of dating ending with the realization one of the two is married. Even more begin with sexy photographs which turn out to be taken prior to a major weight gain, tooth loss, or all-over body tattoo.

Wendy Tanaka tells the story of a man whose online interest described herself as looking like actress Renee Zellweger. Before getting together, she revealed that she was actually “an older, less pretty version of Renee Zellweger.” In one last e-mail before getting together, she said she’d “once been described as looking like John Denver”.

Users aren’t the only liars online. Online dating sites are also caught in fibs from time to time. On November 28, 2002, an article in The Spokesman Review detailed a lawsuit (on behalf of a user whose identity was kept a secret) accusing the site INeedANewGirlfriend.com of lying in order to get newly registered users to buy subscriptions. The lawsuit says that bogus e-mails with photos of beautiful women were sent to men asking them for a reply or for a date. Once the men paid their membership fees and e-mailed the women, they never heard back. The article continued on, explaining:
To prove his client’s contention, the lawyer concocted a handful of cyber straw men -- false profiles of men he believed no woman would want to be involved with. They were the Internet’s most ineligible bachelors, he said: hard-drinking, overweight, out-of-work men. Their goal, he stated in their profiles, was to meet rich, beautiful women who would support them.

The offers came rolling in.

The issue of deception online is more commonly aimed at users, however, than sites. It can be easily argued that profiles as a basis of online dating sites encourage dishonesty. For those eager to meet accepting partners, profile questions can be daunting. For instance, when signing up on Kiss.com, users are prompted to “Please describe your looks.” Possible answers are limited to: ugly; not very good looking; average; good looking; very good looking; and stunning.

Another common question, that of annual income, is a good example of one that is easily exaggerated (or lessened to protect family funds!). With questions such as these, the ultimate goal of attracting interested parties may be threatened by honest answers. Profile questions are exceedingly open to interpretation.

In the end, while the Internet may make dishonesty tempting initially, should a relationship progress to actually meeting, truths will generally be revealed. Online culture seems to have established acceptable, even expected levels of misrepresentation. (NEVER ACCEPTABLE!) Comparable to fibbing on a drivers licenses, height and weight questions are less likely to deem one a dirty liar than, say, not revealing five children and a wife. Whether disclosure makes or breaks a relationship depends on the severity of the lie and the values of the judge.

Ultimately, there is nothing fundamentally honest about meeting in-person either. Under the influence of alcohol and loud music, it is certainly easy for an unhappily married woman to remove a wedding ring before accepting a drink from across the room. Why are people tempted to misrepresent themselves when eventual meetings will reveal all anyway? Morris at Udate.com believes that it comes down to human nature. “If someone is going to lie online, they’d do it offline anyway”. The human desire to increase one’s standing among the competition is strong.

Technology does, however, lend help to those distrustful of the medium. Assuming that a correct name is acquired, the truly determined can visit the county courthouse and search for marriage licenses, divorce records and criminal histories (including felonies and domestic violence. Those with a minimum knowledge of using the Internet--and it’s assumed that online daters qualify -- can do a few quick Google searches with a minimal amount of accurate information and foil liars early on. (NOT ALWAYS!) Generic online searches can reveal work and educational history among other things. The more cynical can access “an abundance of public records, often free and easily accessible, that can tip off online daters to fakes”.

WHAT ABUNDANCE OF PUBLIC RECORDS MIGHT THAT BE?
THERE'S NO NATIONAL MARRIAGE DATABASE or CENTRALIZED CRIMINAL DATABASE EITHER!

EOPC NEVER EVER RECOMMENDS OR IS O.K. WITH ONLINE DATING! EVER!

FROM THIS SITE

CASANOVA AT THE DESK

noreply@blogger.com (Fighter) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 00:31:00 +0000

For 8 years my spouse and I had lived happily. I'm 45 and he is 46. I've a daughter from a previous marriage and it was after my divorce that I met HIM. He was a bachelor without children. During our 8 years together he never could accept my daughter as his own, although I had hoped for my daughter's sake that she would finally have a father (her natural father was an alcoholic maniac). My husband didn't even like children and that had been a consistent problem during our 8 years together. Only that.

Suddenly he had a heart attack - the most serious type. It was due to a business problem. The doctor suggested that he take up some new interest to occupy his mind with. That's when he purchased a computer and that is where the nightmare began. We learned its use through method of deduction. When we first hooked on to the net we joined a chat program. It was a totally unfamiliar environment for us. My husband was invited to a private chat by a female. I sat right next to him as they carried on.

My husband was never what you could call a great lover in bed, and although with a little effort I always got what I wanted. After the heart attack and due to the medication he was even weaker but on that chat he became super stud. Suddenly he saw great and colorful adventures possible from this side of the table.

He always had difficulty sleeping and seldom slept more than 3-4 hours a night. On the other hand, I sleep well and as a result I was not able to sit with him at all times. These times gave him the opportunity to completely delude himself into this world. We've not been used to going out much even before he became sick, because he liked staying at home.

He completely flipped out and the only thing that mattered to him was the chat. He felt that through it there were possibilities for him that he never realized. He left us. Now he wants a child and is looking for the right partner. I feel he is running head on into tragedy. He has money and I know that he will find someone, at least for as long as the money lasts. Although he had not yet found anyone in particular, I realize that I've lost him forever.

And that is how my life was ruined by internet love :(

ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE

ANOTHER GOOD READ: DANGEROUS GAMES - CLICK HERE

Women are Warned Off of 'Casual Encounters' Sites

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 00:27:00 +0000

Almost all our cyberpaths (while claiming to be caring, upright and decent people) who conned for 'online love' used casual sex sites... much to the horror of their victims. When these predators don't get what they want on casual sex sites... they turn to luring, grooming and preying on normal, unwitting partners with proclamations of "love." BEWARE

Lonely Welsh women are turning to sordid internet sites to find no-strings thrills, Wales on Sunday can reveal.

The lovelorn browsers could become targets for stalkers and kidnappers, experts believe, as the so-called casual encounter forums could act as a magnet for dangerous predators.

Websites like craigslist host hundreds of ads from women and men looking for casual sex and who have grown tired of the traditional dating circuit.

But while their x-rated messages are almost guaranteed to attract a steamy response, safety gurus have warned that in a matter of minutes, vile cyber stalkers could have tracked down their home or office address.

Just a handful of responses received by a Wales on Sunday reporter revealed the worrying spectrum of offers being brokered online.

Just hours after posting the message: “Brunette, 27, seeks an older man for no-strings fun,” more than a dozen e-mails had flooded back – some touting trips abroad, meals out and stays in luxury resorts – all in exchange for a single night of no-strings sex.

One 27-year-old said he was willing to travel from London to Wales for a passionate fling with the “right” girl.

While another – a man who claimed to have blue eyes, light brown hair and dimples – asked: “What are you doing for Thanksgiving?

“ I have reservations at Harrahs in Cherokee in the Smoky Mountains (North Carolina, America). I’m looking for someone to go with me and have some fun. I will get a ticket to get you there... my treat.”

Professor Andrew Blyth, an information security expert at the University of Glamorgan, told WoS that he was “not surprised” that men and women had now turned to the net to arrange casual hook-ups.

But he warned: “I think if you do it, you’re mad.

“It’s one thing to meet someone in a bar and later find that something similar happens. But in this setting, people can claim to be anything they want."

“On one level, everyone involved is a consenting adult, but what happened to using chat-up lines in bars?

“With just a postcode and a quick search of the electoral register you can very quickly, and easily, narrow down a person’s address. The people involved could become exposed to abuse, abduction or even blackmail."

“I think if you do this, you’re off your trolley.”

Earlier this year, 17-year-old Ashleigh Michelle Hall was discovered dead after meeting a stranger online.

Durham Police said that the bright Darlington teen had failed to return home one night during October.

The GCSE student’s body was found after a 32-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of driving offences.

Bosses at craigslist.co.uk declined to comment on any of the arrangements that were being made via the site.

But a quick browse on the platform’s page for Wales revealed a clutch of messages from users... all keen to arrange potentially dangerous liaisons over the internet.

Some had posted their home and work postcodes on the site, as well as a telephone number, descriptions of their appearance and even photographs for strangers to browse.

“Once you have got these details, people can certainly find out where you live,” Prof Blyth said. “Postcodes restrict a person’s address to a group of 20, perhaps a hundred houses at the most.

“This really opens up issues of cyber stalking, as what’s seen as a casual relationship by one could be misconstrued as the real long-lasting deal by another person.

“It would even be easy enough to blackmail – for two people to arrange to meet up at a hotel and for one of the pair to threaten to tell the other’s spouse.

“They would already have your picture, and a phone number.”

A spokeswoman from South Wales Police last night advised men and women not to meet up in person with any stranger they had met online.

“These people could be purporting to be someone they are not,” she said.

“On the internet, people can easily make false claims, omit important details, post outdated photographs or even use photos of other people claiming to be them.

“Women and men should consider their personal safety at all times, and refrain from putting themselves into a vulnerable position.”

Lovelorn men and women are keen to push the boundaries online, experts have claimed.

Just a few hours after WoS reporter JO HARRIS posted her message on the web, dozens of racy replies came flooding her way.

One read: “Your message got my attention! All I can say is that your post ‘looking for no-strings fun’ is perfect. I’m not married, but single and like it that way. I’m looking for someone who can give me that special feeling now and again. Then I can carry on with my week.”

Another, who claimed to be a novice user of casual encounter sites, replied: “If you’re stuck for NSA (no-strings attached) fun, I’m more than available.

“I can travel but can’t accommodate. I’d love to be able to come round.”

But the most responses were those that talked of trips abroad in exchange for a steamy affair.

A man, who described himself as fair, with light-brown hair, blue eyes and a goatee beard, wrote: “What are you doing for Thanksgiving?

“I have reservations at Harrahs in Cherokee in Smoky Mountains (North Carolina, USA). I am looking for someone to go with me and have some fun. I will get a ticket to get you there... my treat.”

original article here

EXPOSING THEM - CREATIVELY

noreply@blogger.com (Fighter) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 00:40:00 +0000

"I remember thinking - the internet got me into this mess with this [cyberpath] and now the internet is going to get me out."

- openly available information is out there for sure!

We found websites started by people wishing to out THEIR predator, cheater or cyberpath. We commend every one of these people for being brave enough to put their stories out there to make sure these predators don't do it to someone else.

Some of these people listed have been covered by our site, some have not. Nonetheless, they have our support! - Fighter

Creativity can be a blessing when healing from a predator, user and/or abuser:
click below to go to some of the sites made in their "honor":

DIANA MEDINA

ANDREW TAMMAR

WILLIAM BARBER

MIKE KENNEDY

PHIL HABERMAN

SAMMY BENOIT / GRIDNEY/ YIDWITHLID

MARK GRANIERI

RICK KUDLIK

JOSEPH A. CAFASSO

GARETH RODGER

TODD UNKEFER

There's more on the right of this site under VICTIMS FIGHT BACK!

Here's just a few recommended sites that expose cyberpaths & abusers in order to educate the public about the M.O. and patterns of these predators (see full list at right):

PEEP SHEET

STOP THE ACT

RUN YOUR MOUTH ABOUT IT

EXPOSE YOUR WEASEL

(see our right margin for more sites to expose them. Maybe they will get help for their behavior and not harm others.

EXAMPLES OF PREDATORS WE'VE DONE (or are about to do)- EXPOSED ON OTHER SITES:

Dan Jacoby
one
two

Gridney/ Yidwithlid
one
two

Nathan Ernest Burl Thomas, Jr.
one
two

Remember: You are only as sick as your secrets. Telling can put YOU on the road to healing.)

WHY DO CYBERPATHS PREY ON OTHERS?

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 00:44:00 +0000

(This is merely an attempt to answer the question "WHY did they do this?" This explanation is by no means final or complete. - Fighter)

excerpted from: "Why Do People Abuse?"

Understanding Abuse
People have difficulty understanding the motives of people who are involved in abuse. Why people choose to abuse other people is a common question.

Abuse situations must be lived in and experienced before their internal logic makes any sense. However, we can try to do our best to understand.

Why Do Cyberpaths Abuse?
The first question, "Why do people abuse other people?" has multiple answers. Some people internalized a particular relationship dynamic, namely the complementary roles of "abuser" and "victim". They are familiar with and fully understand the terror of being the helpless victim from their own childhood experience. The opposite of being a victim is not simply opting out of abuse; it is instead, to be abusive. Given the choice between being the out-of-control victim, or the in-control abuser, some of these people grow up to prefer the role of the abuser.

As they become adults, they simply turn this relationship dynamic around and start acting out the "abuser" side of the relationship dynamic. By choosing to be the aggressor and abuser, they may get their first sense of taking control over their own destiny and not being at the mercy of others. And the anonymity and disinhibition the internet provides feeds that.

Besides, online - others are only objects, not real people.

Still other people who abuse end up abusing because they have an empathy deficit, either because of some sort of brain damage, or because their innate empathic abilities never developed properly.

Such abusers cannot or will not relate to other people as people, choosing instead to treat them as objects. In effect, they confuse people for things. They treat people as though they were there solely for their convenience and do not otherwise have an independent, important life. Far too easy to do online!

Abusers who treat people in this manner are very likely psychologically ill, incurably so. They may have an antisocial, sociopathic or narcissistic personality disorder, and they may have anger or impulse control issues and addition (internet, sex, love & drama) issues on top of that!

Such cyberpaths may abuse via the net because of the benefits they receive from doing so, for instance, sexual or financial gratification, or the simple allure of power over other people's lives.

SOURCE

Craiglist Ads Used by Thief

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 00:30:00 +0000

A Pennsylvania college student is charged with posting fake online ads to lure victims and rob them.

Police say 22-year-old Corey Jackson of East Stroudsburg would use the free classifieds site Craigslist to find his victims.

Police say Jackson posed as a buyer interested in jewelry and stole expensive rings from the sellers, and offered the sale of a computer but took the cash then wrestled the laptop back.

Jackson is in Northampton County Prison under $75,000 bail on charges of robbery, theft, and related counts.

He also faces charges in Philadelphia in a robbery June 18, when police said he responded to an online ad, doused a man with pepper spray and stole a $14,000 diamond ring from him.

original article here

Online Dating -- Dangerous for Your Life

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 00:25:00 +0000

by Jamie Ramirez

Sitting behind a computer, I could be anyone I wish to be. I could be a 13-year-old boy from Kansas who likes to play videogames. Or I could be a 47-year-old woman from another country looking to get married to a single American man. The point is: I could take on any identity and no one would ever have to know.

Online dating is potentially very dangerous. There's no assurance that the person you are talking to is really telling the truth. There's no way of knowing if they have a criminal background, was once or are married or has children.

Blind dates are different. Usually, a friend or an acquaintance has recommended a person who they think would be compatible for you. If someone is referring you on a date with a suitable single, he or she are using his or her judgment and knowledge of what appeals to you.

Online dating services simply use a questionnaire to match up singles through common answers and common interests. A computer does not have the ability to make a judgment call or to decide compatibility for two people. It simply matches answers.

People can also lie about who they are. Behind a computer, anyone could take on any identity they choose. Online dating is dangerous because everyone has access to a computer. That includes rapists and child molesters.

According to a study conducted by the American Psychological Association in August 2004, less than 5 percent of online sexual offenders used force to sexually abuse their victims when they decided to meet.

Victims said they already felt close bonds with their attacker before meeting with them.

People just need an Internet connection. But why put your life at risk for the chance to go on a date? Some would argue that love is worth taking a risk. Call me old fashioned, but I don't think love is worth putting your life on the line.

original article here

N.H. Sexual Predator Uses Online Dating to Find Victims

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 00:22:00 +0000

Information sought on Hampton, New Hampshire sex-assault suspect
(from 2008) Following a probable cause hearing involving sex assault suspect Thomas Currier on Wednesday, prosecutors involved in the case are urging anyone who may have had contact with the Hampton Falls resident to contact police as soon as possible.

Currier, 34, of 6 Marsh Lane, is currently being held without bail at the Rockingham County House of Corrections and has been charged with aggravated felonious sexual assault.

The charge alleges that Currier drugged a female dinner guest and then sexually assaulted her at his home Aug. 3.

At his Wednesday hearing held in Hampton District Court, Currier waived probable cause through his attorney, Olivier Sakellarios.

Sakellarios argued the issue of bail during the hearing, stating his client should have the right to post some type of cash bail and not be held without even the possibility of release.

Deputy County Attorney Tom Reid petitioned the court to maintain Currier's bail status during the hearing and told the court the alleged sex assault may not necessarily be an isolated incident.

Reid said that according to several women who have come forward since his arrest, Currier has displayed a course of conduct over the past several months that leads Reid to believe Currier is a danger to the community.

Currier is alleged to have met the women through various online dating services, such as Match.com and PlentyofFish.com, and allegedly made attempts to get women to meet him at his residence.

Reid also revealed Currier is currently being investigated on another outstanding charge of criminal threatening and theft.

According to the deputy county attorney, on Aug. 7, Currier is alleged to have invited another woman over to his house and after she refused to engage in some type of relations with him, he threatened to shoot her and then stole her purse and money that was inside of it.

All of the individuals that have come forward have reported Currier getting angry when they refused to meet him at his home alone, said Reid.

Another disturbing factor, Reid said, is that Currier's 11-year-old daughter was present during some of the encounters.

Reid said that if the court chose to amend bail, he would ask for it to be set at $500,000 cash.

"The community is in too much danger from him," said Reid.

Sakellarios argued Currier is an upstanding citizen and father and should be given the opportunity to work and provide for his children.

The Manchester attorney even presented a witness at the hearing and stated that she was familiar with Currier and he never made any sexual advances toward her when she spent the night at his house.

Since Currier was arrested, two other women contacted Foster's via e-mail with similar stories of having nearly met up with Currier at this home.

The women were directed to police, who later confirmed the woman relayed similar information to law enforcement.

During the hearing, Reid maintained that all of the women that have come forward so far have no relation to each other and no motive to bring forward such allegations.

Ried urged anyone who may have had contact with Currier online or in some other form to notify police.

Following the hearing, Judge Francis Frasier said he would take the bail arguments under advisement and make a ruling at a later date.

Original article

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two men are in custody in New Hampshire on rape charges, in a case in which police say women were drugged, then raped after meeting the men through an online dating service.

After the arrest of 34-year-old Tom Currier of Hampton Falls this month, authorities said they heard from other women who reported online contacts with Currier. He is being held without bail on two rape charges.

Saturday, police announced another man, 32-year-old Shawn Hutchins, was arrested on two counts of rape and one of acting as an accomplice to Currier. Hutchins is being held on $500,000 bail.

Meanwhile, police want to hear from anyone who has had online contact with Currier or Hutchins. They say Currier met women on Match.com and Plentyoffish.com. They say he went by the name AWalkToRemember08 on Plentyoffish.com.

Second article

Pornography & the Cyberpath

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 00:25:00 +0000

(writing in dark blue is from EOPC)

It is well-known that pathologicals (psychopaths/ sociopaths, narcissists) frequently have an addiction to porn. That goes for Cyberpaths as well. Many Cyberpaths hide their porn addiction and others reveal it little by little. If the relationship ever moves to real life, the victim often finds all sorts of hard core porn on her computer or in the computer's history.

The advent of net-porn has not only made it very easy for these people to feed their porn addiction, Online Dating has provided living breathing supply. All they have to do is find the vulnerable, empathetic, trusting and compassionate to lay their seduction and NLP on and they have what they really want; as one victim put it -- "a blow up doll with a pulse."

The reality? A Cyberpath uses you, your online words and in some cases, even your body to masturbate with. The brutal truth is that a Cyberpath cannot 'make love' no matter how much they may try to tell you that!!

And for those who can afford it, online sex-cams, cybersex chats and even booking prostitutes can all be done from the home or office computer providing a 24/7 supply of sexual deviance for these men.

What does this constant diet of porn do for these Predators? Reinforces their already incurable, fixed, unchangeable view of other people:

Pornography communicates its own “truths” about women. Unfortunately, they're all lies.

* Lie # 1: Women are less than human. The women in Playboy magazine are called “bunnies,” making them cute little animals or “playmates,” making them a toy. Porn often refers to women as animals, playthings, or body parts.
Some pornography shows only the body and doesn’t show the face at all. The idea that women are real human beings with thoughts and emotions is played down.

* Lie #2: Women are a “sport.” Some sports magazines have a swimsuit issue. This suggests that women are just some kind of sport.

Porn views sex as a game and in a game: You have to win, conquer or score.

* Lie #3: Women are property. It's common to see pictures of the slick car with the sexy girl draped over it. The unspoken message is, “Buy one, and you get them both.” Hard-core porn carries this even further. It displays women like merchandise in a catalogue, exposing them as openly as possible for the customer to look at. It's not surprising that many young men think that if they have spent some money taking a girl out, they have a right to have sex with her. Porn tells us that women can be bought.

* Lie #4: A woman's value depends on the attractiveness of her body. Overweight or less attractive women are ridiculed in porn. They are called dogs, whales, pigs or worse, simply because they don't fit into porn's criteria of the perfect woman. In fact, if someone is attracted to a heavyset woman, porn labels that a fetish, which means sexual obsession or hang-up that isn't "natural."

Porn doesn’t care about a woman's mind or personality, only her body.

* Lie #5: Women like rape. “When she says no, she means yes” is a typical porn scenario. Women are shown being raped, fighting and kicking at first, and then starting to like it. Porn eroticizes rape and makes it arousing. Women are shown being tied up, beaten, and humiliated in hundreds of sick ways and finally begging for more. Even while being tortured, the porn actors and actresses have a smile on their face — a look of intense enjoyment.

Porn teaches men to enjoy hurting and abusing women for entertainment.

Second, being pathological, everyone is an object for them to use, abuse, and throw away when things get inconvenient or they get bored (which is frequent.) Emotionally dead and unavailable (no matter what they SAY their actions always prove otherwise):
Pornography itself is about the objectification of women. In this context women are treated as things, receptacles and socially dissociated objects to be used and tossed aside. They are, in a word, not real. In fact, most men who indulge themselves in pornography would be appalled - despite the immediate response -- if their wife or girlfriend walked into the bedroom wearing fishnets, stilettos and a latex corset and wanted to get nasty.

Why? -- Because pornography is about emotional disconnection, not emotional connection - it fills a gap in emotional maturity and never the twain shall meet - at least not inside a healthy head. (but it will with a CYBERPATH who sees sex & orgasm as 'love & feeling'!)

... What better place to interact in a pseudo-emotional manner than with women who aren't real?

EXCERPTS FROM THIS SITE

Porn encourages the pathological Cyberpath's values and lack of empathy for others as well:
Pornography incites to men to commit rape and sexual violence against women and children. (Absolutely, and cybersex can be seen as a form of sexual violence when with a Cyberpath)
...Marshall said that 86% of convicted rapists said they were regular users of pornography; and 57% admitted direct imitation of pornographic scenes when they committed rape. In short, pornography is a teaching manual for rapists or the sexually violent. It provides ...visual models to use in committing his crimes.

(Question for victims reading this: How many times were you been 'chatting' with your Cyberpath and they took a LONG time to answer you? Or seemed to be distracted? In most of those cases, these Cyberpaths are WATCHING PORN WHILE TALKING TO YOU. It takes longer to type with one hand; and its virtually impossible to do 2 things at once with one hand. The computer is a sex toy to them and you are merely part of that toy; no matter what they SAY - they DO different!)
...Many are sociopaths who use violence to punish women. It is a matter of having power over a person or inflicting pain upon them. There is no sexual satisfaction involved. Yet, pornography use is closely related to the propensity of a man to act out his sexual fantasies by raping a woman.

(EOPC would include 'emotional rape' in that)
Bill Perkins, writing in When Good Men Are Tempted, cites the work of therapist
Patrick Carnes, a well-known expert on sexual addiction. Carnes says that there are four clear indicators that a person has become addicted to compulsive sexual behaviors.
One: The sexual behavior is done in secret and the person frequently lies to cover up his actions;
Two: The behavior can become abusive and exploitative of others;
Three: The behavior is used to deaden painful feelings;
Four: The behavior is empty of genuine commitment and caring. These are the warning signs that a person is addicted.
... The internet is playing a large role in creating new sexual addicts. According to Christian counselor Rob Jackson, he is seeing an increasing number of pastors who are secretly involved in pornography. We expect the numbers to rise unless parents, pastors, and Christian leaders do not take drastic actions to cut off exposure to pornography. The numbers tell the story, but they cannot give us the full impact of how these sex addicts are destroying their own lives and the lives of others.

Dr. Patrick Carnes, a leading researcher on sexual addictions studied 932 sex addicts and found that 90% of the men and 77% of the women report that pornography is a significant element in their sexual addiction.

The Internet is only compounding the problem and creating a whole new generation of sex addicts and potential sexual predators. Charles Colson has called Internet pornography "Spiritual Crack Cocaine," and indeed it is. In 2000, Focus on the Family conducted a survey with the respected Zogby International polling firm on the Internet surfing habits of Americans. The survey results indicate that 1 out of 5 American adults may have looked
for sex sites on the Internet. Of those surveyed, 31% of the men said they had visited sex sites. Focus also found that 17.8% of those who claim to be "born again" Christians and 18% of those who are married have visited sex sites.

Excerpted FROM THIS SITE

What is healthy sexual behavior vs. addictive sexual behavior?
Healthy Sexual Behavior
Mutual consent (free will)
Behavior is a want or desire
Fulfilling, enhancing, mood stabilizing
Personal interchange of emotion
Rare negative consequences
Enhanced self-worth
Sexual behavior is fulfilling, satiating
Balanced sexual behavior
Addictive Sexual Behavior
Coercion, victimization, and force
Behavior is a compulsion for instant gratification
Associated with severe mood shifts
Impersonal and emotional detachment
Negative consequences
Negative self-worth, shame, guilt
Lack of satiation, tolerance
Erratic sexual behaviors (excessive vs. anorexic)
Coleman-Kennedy, C. & Pendley, A. (2002). Assessment and diagnosis of sexual addiction. Journal of the American Psychiatric Nurses Association, 8(5), 143–151.

Cyberpathy CLEARLY falls into the second category with one word: COERCION.
Do not EVER let a Cyberpath convince you that you:

wanted it/ asked for it
you consented in any way
you knew it was a "game"
played the "game" with them
knew what 'the deal' was up front
its just us; no one will ever know
you enjoyed it
I've never done this before either
your needs were met too
it's safer than the real thing

(we took some of these lines directly from our Exposed Cyberpaths as reported by their victims!)

Our all time winner of the paramoralizing line from a Cyberpath regarding his coaxing one of his victims into cybering with him: "we have been more intimate online than we ever could be in real life." (Now readers, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?)

Frankly, the Cyberpath who coerces a vulnerable person into Cybersex is a Cyber-John "paying" for the sexual thrill with false promises and outright lies; while using you like an online prostitute (but not TELLING or BEING HONEST WITH YOU about that) including:
"I LOVE YOU"
we are soul mates/ twin souls
we were meant to be
I am nothing without you
I want to be with you so badly
I think about you all the time
I have waited all my life for someone like you
you are the only one I love
you're the reason I use porn; you make me feel this way!
etc.

Why do many Cyberpaths start relationships with women that they have NO INTENTION of meeting or even being a true friend to? Such as women 1000s of miles away, in other countries, etc.? (Yes, we know they SAY the opposite)

The answer may be in excerpts from this article, WHY DO JOHNS BUY SEX?
why do large numbers of men prefer to buy it? Clare Spurrell sets out in search of the answer for the The Times (11/7/06):

It is difficult for a woman to understand what it is that a prostitute can offer these perfectly attractive men that a free sexual encounter -- be it a one-night-stand or in a relationship -- cannot...

Disconcertingly, the men to whom I spoke suggested that lack of any emotional obligation is one of the most appealing attributes of paying for sex...

...When a man visits a prostitute, the mere act of handing over cash for services removes, in his mind, all emotional obligations to her.

“Money displaces the emotions. It frees you from that bond, that responsibility,” explains Sam. “The distance you get from exchanging cash for sex means that afterwards you don’t contemplate the impact on the prostitute.”

Most prostitutes are women far removed from his normal life -- she is not in his clique, he will never see her again, maybe she doesn’t come from the same culture as him or even speak the same language. The BMJ study revealed that this is why in the past five years most men who paid for sex were more likely to do so when they were abroad...

...Men often used prostitutes in their lunch hour...

And almost a quarter thought that once they had paid for sex, they had free rein...

Excerpts FROM THIS SITE

Some Cyberpaths who do travel to meet their targets for real sex and 'relationships' do it for the same reason. Out of sight, out of mind.

Those who do meet and move in with the women often blow through their money and keep them off-kilter with marathon sex while still using online porn and setting up 'casual sex' dates or putting profiles on Online Dating saying they are single to feed the sex addiction.

Online, you are just words on a screen. In real life, the sociopathic relationship parameters take over and you are still something to be used and tossed when the Cyberpath is done.

Obtaining intimate pictures may be used for blackmail against you when you find out their real agenda. Cybersex on webcam could be taped without your knowledge by the Cyberpath, again for blackmail and shaming you into silence about them. In their minds, part of your "payment" for participating!

Yes, PORN is a huge component in the psyche of these Cyberpaths: Pathologicals at the Keyboard. Porn feeds their view of others as objects for them to use. It's who they are and they can't be fixed with "love" or "religion."

Victims need to realize there is nothing they did or can do to help the sex-addict Cyberpath. Victims need to help themselves by blocking these guys, once they find out and staying OFF ALL Online Dating sites.

Many victims also state that once the Cyberpath is gone or has dumped them they have "sexual hyperarousal" issues. This is a LARGE component of PTSD and is most common in rape or sexual abuse victims. The same hormones that promote 'bondness' during sex are often released for NORMAL PERSONS during cybersex. In fact, Cyberpaths count on it! Having this symptom alone should tell the victims that:
it's NOT their fault
they did nothing wrong, nor did they encourage or ask for it
they are not "sick" (other than having PTSD) -- this is a huge red flag that seduction & covert mind control was used on them
they are VERY MUCH victims of sexual violence

Fighter

A Good Article: He's Addicted to Net Porn

SOME OF OUR EXPOSED PREDATORS WHO WERE SEX and/or PORN ADDICTED (clicking on their name will take you to all the links to the stories of their victims):
Ed Hicks aka Charles Greene
Dan Jacoby
Doug Beckstead
Glenn Capers aka Sylvester Meadows
gridney aka Yidwithlid aka Sammy Benoit
Brad Dorsky
Nathan Ernest Burl Thomas, Jr.

Perfect Prey: Surviving a Cyber Shark's Romantic Fraud

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 00:17:00 +0000

Liz Cole was victimized by an online career con artist - but she turned the tables to expose the con man on national television. Much of this book is written as a real time journal, taking readers inside the world of Liz Cole and her suitor, convict and predator John Melvin Hill.

Recently divorced, with low self-esteem, Liz Cole turned to online dating and met a charming Irishman - in reality, a Quebec con artist - who preyed on her and vanished. She then found him and set up a televised sting operation and has great advice.

Millions use Internet-dating sites to look for love. Some find their mates, some find disappointment. And some fine something far more dangerous - con artists and sex predators lurking in the shadows of cyberspace. -- CTV's W-Five

What do you do when your charming knight on a white horse turns out to be Satan in a tuxedo? (this is the true story of how one woman fought back) -- Canadian Living Magazine

buy the book here

Social Networking Encourages Cyberstalking

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 00:33:00 +0000

NOT JUST COLLEGE STUDENTS BUT EVERYONE NEEDS TO STOP USING SOCIAL NETWORKING (and ONLINE DATING)!

Many use Facebook.com daily without being aware of the cyberstalking threat.

When students put their phone numbers, addresses and other personal information on a social networking site like Facebook, they increase their chances of being a cyberstalking victim, said Michael Kaiser, executive director of the National Cyber Security Alliance.

Kaiser said that because people between the ages of 18-24 have the highest victimization rate, due to the popularity of Facebook and MySpace.com, it's important for students to protect themselves against cyberstalking.

"People should be really guarded in sharing personal information," Kaiser said. "I wouldn't suggest that the Internet is a place to write an autobiography."

According to the Pew Internet and American Life Project's January 2009 report about adults and social networking websites, 75 percent of Internet users in the 18 to 24 age group have a profile on a social networking Web site.

A social networking Web site is a place for people to connect with each other by creating a profile that each individual can customize with pictures, contact information and details about interests, such as music and movies, to reflect that person's personality. Kaiser said an e-mail address is usually the only information needed to become part of a social networking Web site.

Some tips Kaiser had for students were install a firewall, anti-spyware, use the highest privacy settings on social networking web sites and limit the information they put online.

Kaiser advised students that they should "be really careful about who you let into your circle."

Along with the active steps that students can take to protect themselves, Kaiser suggested that students enter their names into a search engine to see if they come across information that they didn't know was there.

"People don't even know sometimes how much information about them there is on the Web," Kaiser said. "People leave trails all over the Internet and stalkers will use those trails."

He said stalkers would use anything from an e-mail address to a phone number, street address or instant message, to stalk a victim.

Nick Penta, a pre-veterinary science freshman, said he thinks an ex-girlfriend stalked him over MySpace. He said she sent him several messages and viewed his profile about 20 times a day to learn about his new girlfriend.

Kaiser said stalking is defined as repeated actions that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.

Penta added that he wasn't scared of his ex's actions.

According to the U.S. Department of Justice's January 2009 report "Stalking Victimization in the United States," of the 3.4 million Americans who reported being stalked, 25 percent reported being cyberstalked through email or instant messaging.

Stephen Orlando, a pre-business freshman said he experienced the same jealous behavior by an ex, over the Internet.

According to the report, 75 percent of stalking victims were stalked by someone they knew.

"The vast majority of stalking is done by people who know each other," Kaiser said.

Even taking into account Orlando and Penta's experiences with exes over the Web, the two men have not chosen to make their Facebook profiles private and non-viewable to users whom they have not given permission.

Kaiser advised students to "use the highest privacy settings you can on any of the social networking sites." Amy Cheng, a pre-physiology freshman, said her Facebook profile is private and she doesn't post her personal information on the page.

"I don't put anything on there that I wouldn't show my mom," Cheng said about information on her Facebook profile.

Emily Smith, an undeclared freshman, said that although her profile isn't private, she doesn't put any contact information on her Facebook profile.

She added that if she had more of an issue with cyberstalking she might consider changing her profile to private. Orlando said that he thinks that cyberstalking is more of an issue for women than men.

"There's a lot more creeper stalker people looking for girls than guys," he said.

Penta said that the difference could be attributed to the fact that some women put relatively provocative photos on their individual profiles.

"They're easier targets, just because their pictures might be more revealing," Penta said.

Whatever the reason, the Department of Justice report did concede that women run a much greater risk for being victims of cyberstalking than men.

Whether the victim is a man or woman, the fact that friends and family support the stalking victim is crucial, Kaiser said.

For more information on cyberstalking, Kaiser said that students should visit the National Center for Victims of Crime's Web site, www.ncvc.org or the National Cyber Security Alliance's Web site, www.staysafeonline.org.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE

Cyberpaths -- Exposed & On The Attack

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:39:00 +0000

As we continue to do our exposes, readers - you will see a type of pathological who - once revealed for the narcissistic sociopath he/ she is - will just attack, attack, attack. Yours is not the first, nor will be the last of our cyberpaths who have done this EXACT SAME THING! - EOPC
~~~~~~~~~~

WHEN THEY ATTACK
by Kathy Krajco

(We have replaced the word narcissists with predators for clarity - EOPC)

Professionals often say that predators "overreact" to the merest unintended slights and that they fly into a rage for the slightest reason. But this view seems anthropomorphic to me. I suspect it comes from forgetting that the predator on your couch is a pathological liar.

The truth is that predators attack for no reason. In fact, they are prompted to attack by anti-reasons.

Of course the predator on your couch says he did it in self defense! He whines that the victim said or did something to slight him or anger his tender, tender feelings. Were you born yesterday? predator = pathological liar. So, why do you expect him to confess to you that he is a predator = one who attacks any vulnerable target of opportunity?

I would hate to admit how long it took me to discover this, but in my experience, what triggers a predator Attack is nothing but a vulnerable target of opportunity.

Test predators. Parade bait before them when the coast looks clear so that the narc thinks later it will just be his word against the victim's. Then watch what happens.

You can push his Attack button by having the victim be very vulnerable, like say by showing great affection for the predator and giving a heartfelt plea for some in return. (Rather like a man I knew who asked a predator to marry him and got eviscerated for it.)

How does the predator react to what should evoke his love and affection? With a savage attack, that's how. Rather like any wild predator when you ring the dinner bell for it by giving it a swipe at a defenseless creature's soft underbelly.

Except that natural predators must be hungry at the time.

On second thought, I guess predators have to be hungry, too. But they always are. For, they have the kind of hunger that increases the more you feed it.

So much for the theory that predators are just too touchy. They ain't touchy at all.

Test that too. Indeed, try to provoke a predator. You can't. Go ahead, try.

The only way to get yourself a raging predator is to tempt it with defenseless bait when it thinks no one is watching.

Now that you have your predator raging, do one more thing. Have the victim rise up rage right back it its face.

Guess what happens? Presto chango! Rage off!

Instead of a raging predator, you now have a poor little meek and gentle angel who wouldn't hurt a fly and is heartbroken at the victim being so nasty.

Welcome to The Twilight Zone. I call this miraculous phenomenon "The Transfiguration."

I am not exaggerating. You witness the instantaneous substitution of one persona for its very antithesis in the blink of an eye. You don't know whether to pinch yourself or start throwing holy water at it. Because an Academy Award winner couldn't do that that fast.

It stuns you and gives you the creeps. Indeed, one facial expression doesn't melt into the other: the whole mask changes at once.

I call a predator's faces "masks" because when you see this happen you know that's what they are. You know that what's on the face is a lie. It's the Big Chill.

A stunning revelation. The predator's very face is a lie about what is really going on in the darkness behind that mask.

from: When [Predators] Attack

~~~~~~~~~~

EXAMPLES OF PATHOLOGICAL RAGE ATTACKS FROM A PREVIOUSLY EXPOSED PREDATOR (please read):

EXAMPLE ONE

EXAMPLE TWO

LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE CAUGHT MR. BENOIT NOT ONCE - BUT TWICE - BEING A BULLY AND POSER!

(btw, Mr. Capers? We are very aware of the threats you are issuing towards your numerous victims... and we're reporting them to authorities along with your multiple identities)

~~~~~~~~~~~

Starve the Vampire
by Sandra Brown, MA Author of "Women Who Love Psychopaths"

(with some minor additions - EOPC)

Pathological persons (such as CYBERPATHS) are energy and emotional vampires. They live off of your emotional content.

Part of their personality deficit is the lack of a stable and consistent inner core of a self concept so they need constant attention, distraction, and identity management from which they draw their identity.

Lots of their identity is acquired from their relationships since internally there is so little core self to draw from. This is part of the reason they are so exhausting.

In order to get their emotional 'blood supply' from you, they 'hook you' into conversations, arguments, or any other kind of response they can get from you. They live vicariously through your own emotional expressions of love, frustration, confusion, etc.

It doesn't always matter 'what' emotion is fed to the vampire (although narcissists like adoration) but just that there is SOME content is enough for them -- even your tears, or your screams, or your insults. It doesn't matter... they just 'need' something, anything from you in the way of content. If they don't get the blood supply/ emotional content from you, they will seek it elsewhere.

(Remember Dracula? He just moved from town to town taking it where he could get it?)

When you begin to break up he will fear the loss of emotional supply. He won't fear losing you so much as he will fear not getting his identity and his sense of self from you and/or the relationship. He fears the loss of self or 'who am I without her?' This is a very fragmented ego state -- one which only exists through relationships with others.

So when you try to break up, he may continue to contact you which is why they are hard to break up with. They are predictable in their approaches to get you to respond to them (you are feeding the vampire his emotional blood supply every time you talk to him!!).

These are some of his approaches and if you can get a bag of popcorn and just watch it like it was a LifeTime for Women movie and detach from it, you will see a whole movie pan out like this:

* One contact he's angry, blaming, shaming.
When you don't respond to that verbally or emotionally (think like you are lobotomized with no facial expression...that's what I want women to do with these men)

* Then one contact may be sweet, loving, buy you things or sending you things.
When you don't respond...

* He will promise to do what you've asked for years... go to counseling, church, take meds, be nice, go to anger managment.
When you don't respond...

* He will get angry again--say you aren't working on the relationship which is why it's gonna fail;
When you don't respond...

* He will quit calling for a while to make it look like he's moved on (They are boomerangs, they ALWAYS come back a few times.)
When you don't respond...

* He will indicate he found someone else or had sex with someone else. (possibly one of your friends)
When you don't respond... (Are you enjoying the popcorn and movie about now??)

* He becomes 'sick' -- he doesn't know what this mysterious illness is, or he has prostate cancer, leukemia, some other lethal disease.
When you don't respond...

* He will just go back to drinking/ drugging/ dealing/ driving too fast/ seeing prostitutes/ etc.
When you don't respond...

* He will threaten to kill himself, leave the area, never see you again.
When you don't respond...

* He will take the kids (or try to), drag you through court, threaten to physically harm you.
When you don't respond...

* He will tell you he's dating someone you hate or he's gone back to his previous girlfriend/ wife.
When you don't respond...

* He will tell you he will kill your pet he has custody of if you don't talk to him.
When you don't respond...

* He will go on the net and post about you on the exposure sites, making up the most outrageous lies and childish slander to get you to react.
When you don't respond...

* It will come full circle and will begin again, at the top of this list.

When I do counseling, it's all the same stories. Yeah, I know that women think that their experiences are unique.

But pathology is all the same. These people aren't very creative and don't deviate much from the strict internal structure that is associated with pathology. They ONLY react in certain ways so it's pretty easy to predict.

Once you are able to understand this, you can predict his sad/ silly/ stupid reactions to a break up (or exposure).

Since they live off of your emotion and NEED it, the sooner you starve him out by having no contact (unless you have to because of your kids but you adhere to no words exchanged and no emotional content on your face), the vampire will flee to the next available source to be fed.

When women don't disconnect once they understand the feeding and maintenance of pathologicals, they are doing it because SHE wants to remain. The ball is then in your court to figure out where you are still hung up so you can disconnect.

This is not a judgment about women not being able to leave. It is a POINTER to a place where the disengagement has hit a snag. Simply notice where the snag IS so that something can be done.
~~~~~~~~~~~

from: Sandra Brown, MA's Institute site

Lone Blogger Posting List of Unfaithful Wives

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 00:39:00 +0000

Brazilian police are hunting a blogger who claims to be waging a lone crusade against unfaithful wives.

The man, from a small rural town of Lagoa da Prata, in Minas Gerais, has so far posted the name of 300 supposed cuckolds on a popular social networking site.

Copycat lists including one entitled ‘The cuckolds of Lagoa da Prata’ have also emerged, according to the Guardian.

Some victims have spoken out to reject the accusations.

One unnamed man said: ‘My wife is a Catholic and a worker. I have never had cause to doubt her.’

Another woman confessed she had nearly split up with her partner after his name appeared on the list.

In 2004 a study by a Brazilian psychiatrist claimed the state of Minas Gerais had one of the country’s highest rates of infidelity among women.

Of the women interviewed as part of the study, nearly 30 per cent admitted to having had an ‘extra’ relationship.

Police officer Lieutenant Marcondes Couto said: ‘The military police are advising people to stay calm. We are investigating and we will catch this criminal. Justice will be done.’

One suspect has already been questioned after he was allegedly spotted leaving a copy of the list in a local bank.

original article here

An Internet Affair --- AGAIN?

noreply@blogger.com (Fighter) — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:07:00 +0000

Dear Dr. Bob,

I have been married for 10 months now. I met my wife playing spades on the internet then we started talking on the phone for hours and hours until I left CA. and moved to TN. with her

we have a good relationship but now she spends so much time on the internet thats making me worried and i don't like it when she talks in IM's to strange guys or gets too close online with them. What should I do? the only thing we fight about is that Iasked her many times not to get close to guys on the spades games and she tells me i'm being jealous she hides her computer so i can't see what she is doing on their.

All i hear is her typing on it in games you click the mouse not type as much as she does she was under her screen name on my computer so i looked at her mail i saw something thats is bugging me very much i saw that she had been talking to this guy and was telling him that she was going to call him when i go to work what should i do?

My response:

As Yogi Berra once said, "This must seem like deja vu all over again." It certainly appears that her behavior now on the net finds some parallels with how your relationship with her started? And, of course, you have a right to be concerned - here she goes again!

You describe behavior that could be labeled "addictive." Her focal point becomes these relationships that generate excitement, intrigue and fantasies? She seemingly can't keep her fingers off the keyboard? Other parts of her life take a back seat? And, she denies that she has a problem or minimizes her activities - she's not doing anything wrong!

Please understand that usually, beneath this minimization, are some guilt and shame and a part of her that is truly looking for something else. And, you want her to find that "something else" with you… not in a series of net/phone "romances."

Confronting, pleading and arguing won't work. She will resist, retreat to her keyboard and you will feel increasingly frustrated and alone.

I suggest you start with a tactic I call, "problemize." Periodically make comments about the problem(s) you see. MAKE SURE you use words, tone of voice and body language that convey acceptance, concern and lack a tone of judgment, condemnation or a sense of superiority.

For example: "Does it ever seem to you that you are going through the same thing now as when you first met me?" "Do you ever stop to think what impact your net/phone relationships will have on our relationship?" "Do you ever think there is more to life than meeting someone on the net?" "You must get a 'high' out of these relationships?" "I wonder what you are REALLY looking for?" "I wonder what I eventually will do with this." "I wonder if you will always be looking?"

Get the idea? Leave a question in your voice. Open the door for her to talk and explore. This is your first step. If, over time, her actions persist, begin to think about what you are willing to tolerate and what actions you may need to take. But, first, "problemize" and see where that goes.

Still Looking for Love in All The Wrong Places

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:04:00 +0000

(excerpts)

Fairfax County's renowned serial bigamist, Charles "Ed" Hicks, who married seven women but only divorced five of them, is back in jail for another year after violating the terms of his probation following his first year in jail.

...

Hicks ultimately was charged with felony bigamy in Chesapeake, Va., where he had married Julie Flint. (Wife number six -- you following this?) By then, he had disappeared.

Then, when wives six and seven appeared on the “Dr. Phil” show, his latest girlfriend in North Carolina -- watching the show with Hicks -- put six and seven together, and called the police.

Hicks was busted, pleaded guilty in March 2006 and was later sentenced to five years in prison, with four of those years suspended.

After serving his one year, Hicks moved to South Carolina, where he remained on four years of probation, Assistant Chesapeake Commonwealth’s Attorney Derek Wagner said. Meanwhile, Sandra Goldin Hicks started a blog called “Fight Bigamy.” And she was returned to the fight this summer when a friendly Internet reader spotted Hicks’ non-smiling mugshot, and realized she was dating him -- in Florida, Sandra Hicks said.

Ed Hicks was living on a boat near Key Largo, Sandra Hicks said. He also had neglected to check in with his probation officer in South Carolina on numerous occasions, and was wanted. He was picked up by police in September, extradited back to Chesapeake and last month sentenced to another year in prison, Wagner said.

“In his mind he has done nothing wrong,” Sandra Hicks (ex-wife number seven) said. “When he gets out in a year, he will be back to his same old tricks with five or six online personal ads and preying on more unsuspecting women.”

PLEASE POST COMMENTS & READ THE WHOLE ARTICLE HERE - CLICK

COERCIVE TACTICS OF CYBERPATHS

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 00:05:00 +0000

We have edited this to pertain to Cyberpaths. But the behavioral aspects are the SAME as for abusers and battered women.

The male gender has been used but, your Cyberpath may be female - EOPC
from: "Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain you Dry" has some helpful information on how to recognize when a cyberpath is hypnotizing you. You look for the signs in your own reactions:

"Make sure you recognize the warning signs of hypnosis: instant rapport, deviating from standard procedure, thinking in superlatives, discounting objective information, and confusion." Emotional Vampires, pg. 48

These are all signs you look for in yourself.

Excerpts summarized, see the book for more details:

Instant rapport -- That wonderful feeling that you are instantly "clicking" with someone you've just met is a clear warning sign. You have likely stumbled into someone who has either done their research before "accidentally" meeting you or before a job interview, or they are quick to assess what it is you think about yourself and are careful to reflect back to you what you want to hear.

Deviating from standard procedure -- Suddenly you find yourself making exceptions and doing things very differently than you normally do for someone! (outside your normal comfort/ ethics/ moral zone)

Thinking in superlatives -- You've just met the most wonderful, most incredible, most charming and thoughtful person ever. Big red sign that someone is messing around inside your head. The author says, "distorted perceptions usually involve superlatives". He also points out that the superlatives can be negative too.

Discounting objective information -- You've been swept off your feet in no time flat. You're loving how you feel around this person -- so much so that you are now avoiding objective sources of information about this person and your own common sense!

Or, if you do hear things you don't want to hear, you tell yourself it is somehow different for you. He was different back then. When you find yourself avoiding getting objective information about this person you have a clear sign in yourself that you're very happy in this little fantasy that's been created for you and don't want the bubble popped. You're in trouble if you keep this up.

Remember, this doesn't just apply to romantic partners. It can happen with a fellow church or club member, a co-worker, boss, employee, etc.

Confusion -- "Hazy understanding of the reasons for your own reactions, coupled with unusual certainty, is a pretty clear sign that somebody has been messing with your mind." pg. 29

~ Bidermans Chart of Coercion ~
(Edited to Apply to Cyberpathy)

Abusers use tactics similar to what prison guards use on their prisoners, it is a type of brainwashing. They recognize that control is not easily accomplished, they need the cooperation of the victim. This can most effectively be gained through subversive manipulation of the mind and feelings of the victim, who then becomes a psychological, as well as a physical prisoner. These tactics form what we know as emotional abuse and online cyberpathy.

The original Bidermans Chart of Coercion identifies these methods and tactics of power and control used by abusers and their anticipated result. This Chart was originally a publication called "Report of Torture" from Amnesty International, which depicted the brainwashing of prisoners during war. Diana Russel later reprinted it in her book "Rape in Marriage."

The tactics used are:

ISOLATION - this deprives the victim of all social support that is necessary for the ability to resist. It makes the victim develop an intense concern with self. It also makes the victim dependent upon the interrogator, just like our predators, wanting all the control. They demean our family, friends, jobs and schooling, to the point that we generally give them all up. We begin to believe what our cyberpath is telling us and fear what may happen, if we don't go along with them. Once they take away our outside support system, so we have no one telling us anything different, than what the cyberpath is saying. (i.e. "don't talk to so-and-so, she's obsessed with me" or "don't chat with him if he emails or IMs you - he's a liar")

MONOPOLIZATION OF PERCEPTION - this fixes attention upon the immediate predicament and fosters introspect. It eliminates any stimuli competing with those controlled by the cyberpath, and it frustrates all actions not consistent with compliance. This makes us worry about each moment, we have little or no outside contact or focus, just what is happening with our abusive situation and if we don't abide by what they say or want, we know how bad it can and will get. (i.e. "don't tell!! this is our little secret" and "I am a great/ honest/ sincere guy - and here's the proof" [selective information])

INDUCED DEBILITY AND EXHAUSTION - this weakens both our mental and physical ability to resist. How many of our abusers picked 3am to cause an uproar? Odd or emotional times, when we were not strong enough to resist. Or the ones who want you to waiting around online for them, only come on at late hours once they have you hooked, not let you sleep, then go at it with you all night long.

They know when we are tired, we are more vulnerable and more apt to give in to their demands, without a fight. Exhaustion makes it even more difficult to counter the accusations and we agree to things we never would under normal conditions. (With a cyberpath this also includes "word salad" and purposeful confusion)

THREATS - this cultivates anxiety and despair. Threats can be as bad or worst than actions, the fear this can instill can do an incredible amount of emotional damage and alot to keep us in line. This is an emotional blackmail. (i.e. "if you keep questioning my sincerity I will stop chatting with you" or leaving you for hours, days, weeks or even months without a word; just disappearing -- blocking you until THEY are ready to chat. Saying they will "get" you or naming family members is a threat and should be reported to police immediately)

OCCASIONAL INDULGENCES - this provides positive motivation for compliance. Often after the abuse, during the "honeymoon stage" they may send flowers, call you all the time, "love bomb" you (compliments, cyber or phone sex, you are their soulmate, you are the ONE they've always dreamed of...), be kind and promise unconditional love, ect. Some nice little things, which to the victim will usually mean alot, when we are so wide open with pain. It will always happen when we are most vulnerable. But to the cyberpath it only means more control!

DEMONSTRATING "OMNIPOTENCE" - this suggests futility of resistance. Making you believe they are completely capable and have the ability to carry out any threats and warnings they have given you, if you don't comply. They have all the power and you better do as they say, regardless of what you may feel about these things. (i.e. "I will tell your partner, husband, parents what we have been doing" or "I will make your life hell" or "if you... then I will...")

ENFORCING TRIVIAL DEMANDS - this develops a habit of compliance. All those little things they can get you to accept doing, those lists of chores, asking you where you go, how you dress, how you speak or not to speak -- what they 'expect' in a woman. Begging you for cybersex, photos, etc because they "need" them is also part of this. This a part of their way of getting you to do the big things, the bad things and also keeping quiet about them. They have been programming you to obey, whatever they say.

DEGRADATION - this makes the cost of resistance appear to be more damaging to self-esteem than the capitulation. It reduces the victim to "animal level" concerns. In other word, if you don't go along with what they want, you will suffer the consequences and that will be worst than if you just do whatever they want. (i.e. "I won't "love" you if you don't obey me"; also part of their: DEVALUE & DISCARD)

All of these methods have been used on us, day after day. The road to freedom and healing begins with overcoming everything our cyberpaths have worked so hard to put into place in our minds. This sometimes requires and understanding therapist. It is not an easy task. The first step is to acknowledge them for what an are - tactics to have power and control over us. Most everything that has been said to us by our cyberpaths are lies and empty promises. We must totally begin to think for ourselves and wipe out all the negative things that we have been programmed to believe and feel.

Every one of us must know, none of it was our fault, we didn’t ask for it and we definitely did not and do not deserve it. There is nothing any of us could have done differently, or better that would of changed how an cyberpaths has acted, or made the trauma not happen.

That is the sole choice and problem of the predator. They usually will never admit that though. No one deserves to be abused in any way, shape or form - even online. It is our right to be happy and free from abuse. Cyberpaths are criminals, just as a rapist, an armed robber or a murder.

They should be treated as such and not be made excuses for or their abuse and preying on us covered up.

If we want Online Predators & Cyberpaths to stop, we must all use our own voices, to say abuse is wrong and I have had enough! The road to Freedom is Knowledge and Knowledge IS Power.

Our Exposed Predators who used these methods? ALL OF THEM!

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON HOW PREDATORS SEDUCE & COERCE and the AFTER-EFFECTS ON VICTIMS GET A COPY OF "WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS" by Sandra Brown, MA. A Must Read!

Man Kills a Mother After She Snubs Him on Facebook

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:06:00 +0000

(note the 'scorned woman' nonsense this predator uses, just like most of our cyberpaths! - EOPC)

A stalker was jailed for life yesterday for murdering a mother with a bolt gun used to slaughter livestock.

Fitness instructor Mary Griffiths, 38, had been due to meet police earlier that evening but her appointment to discuss the harassment had been put off until the following morning.

The divorced mother of three was asleep when slaughterman John McFarlane smashed through the back door of her home with an axe.

Mary Griffiths was shot by slaughterman John McFarlane with a bolt gun in front of her children after she called him 'delusional' on Facebook

He turned off the power at the fuse box before rushing to Mrs Griffiths's bedroom and attacking her as one of her daughters slept beside her.

The Old Bailey heard he punched her repeatedly, tried to strangle her and shot her in the shoulder with the bolt gun as she screamed for help.

McFarlane, 40, who blamed Mrs Griffiths for 'ripping out his heart' after she rejected his advances, dragged her downstairs while her daughters Jessica, 13, and Hannah, ten, tried to fight him off.

A neighbour saw him continue his attack in the street, where he pinned her to the ground and shot her twice in the chest just before 3am on May 6.

Maxwell McDonald, who witnessed the murder from his window, described the shooting as being 'clinical, deliberate, like an execution'.

McFarlane also hit Jessica around the head with the weapon, which he used at work to stun cattle.

Neighbours tried in vain to revive Mrs Griffiths, but she was later declared dead in hospital.

The court was told McFarlane fled to a friend's home around a mile away in Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk.

He sent texts to friends, saying he had taught Dublin-born Mrs Griffiths a lesson for ' ripping out his heart and stamping on it'.

Police later found him bleeding heavily after he slit his wrists in the garden of the house.

McFarlane admitted murder and was jailed for life with a recommendation that he serve at least 20 years before being considered for parole.

Mr Justice Bean told him he had deliberately armed himself with the stun gun after deciding to kill Mrs Griffiths.

He said he would have ordered a minimum 30 years had it not been for McFarlane's early guilty plea and evidence he was suffering from a mental disorder at the time.

In a text message sent to a colleague before the killing, McFarlane wrote: 'Yes JB (McFarlane) is off on a revenge mission to teach people a lesson who stamp on your heart.

'I will spare the mother, not the beautiful girls. They like me will die. Hasta la vista baby.'

He followed it with another saying: 'This is what rejection does, it ***** you up. All I needed was a cuddle and to be loved.'

His choice of weapon echoes that of the psychopath killer in the Coen Brothers' 2007 film No Country for Old Men.

The court heard Mrs Griffiths met McFarlane at martial arts classes. They became parttime instructors, teaching in Bury St Edmunds and nearby Newmarket.

Mrs Griffiths, who divorced her husband in 2007, regarded McFarlane as a friend.

But when she started a new relationship, he began telephoning and texting her constantly, prompting her to ask him to 'back off'.

McFarlane then began ignoring her at the gym and around that time she had a tire on her car slashed, although she did not know who was responsible.

When Mrs Griffiths's relationship failed, they became friendly again.

On hearing Mrs Griffiths had broken up with her boyfriend on April 23, McFarlane left his wife.

He moved to a friend's home, but then stayed two nights at Mrs Griffiths's home, sleeping on the sofa.

Mr Harvey said he had upset Mrs Griffiths during his stay by going into her bedroom, but she made it clear his advances were not welcome.

McFarlane later posted a message on Facebook, falsely claiming he had been having an affair with her.

Hours before the attack, she called police to report harassment, and an appointment was made but postponed until the next day.

original article here

"I GO ONLINE TO DESTROY YOU"

cyberpaths@gmail.com (FIGHTER TEAM) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:06:00 +0000

By Crystal Chan

UPSET that he was spurned by a married lecturer after a brief torrid affair, a tertiary student turned to the Internet to smear her reputation.

The year-long liaison, which took place more than 10 years ago, ended when the lecturer's husband learned about it.

Unlike the recent case when a 32-year-old teacher was jailed 10 months for having sex with an underage student, the lecturer did not break any law as her lover was not underage.

But the fallout was almost as devastating, resulting in two court actions over the years.

To try to salvage her marriage, the lecturer ended the affair.

But her husband still filed for divorce, citing adultery and naming the student as a co-respondent in the divorce papers.

The student's bitterness over the end of the affair was such that years later, he continued taking his revenge on her.

The student, who graduated here around 1996, felt that she had used him and then dumped him, alleging that she even filed a police report against him for harassment.

In one online forum posting, he wrote that many male students were attracted to the lecturer because of her striking looks. He claimed she was unhappy in her marriage and that they had sex in various places at the institution as well as her home. Sources [say]that the affair turned sour after it was uncovered by private investigators hired by the lecturer's husband. She ended the affair to try to save her marriage, but it was all in vain.

Then, as a fallout of the Internet smearing, the institution learned of the affair and asked the lecturer to leave three years ago. The institution also went all the way to the High Court to seek an injunction to prohibit the student from talking about the affair.

Lawyer Nicholas Cheong, who is not involved in the case, said the Internet postings probably affected the reputation of the institution and it had to do damage control.

He said: 'The institution has a name to protect, especially when it's known for certain courses. The last thing it would want is for people to remember it as a place where a lecturer had an affair with a student.

'Nothing sticks like bad news so the institution had to protect its image. Going to court was the only option as it no longer had the right to discipline the student.

'The institution didn't do anything wrong and the court probably agreed that its image shouldn't be tarnished. Otherwise, the injunction wouldn't be granted as everyone is entitled to freedom of expression.'

The student had gone as far as to post the lecturer's personal details and the serial number of her divorce proceedings in online forums and encouraged netizens to contact her. It also seemed that he had been watching the lecturer's movements, as he posted details of where she parked her car on campus and even the time she got home. He found out where the lecturer is now working and posted this information on the Internet too.

The student invited netizens to e-mail him if they wanted 'hard-copy evidence' of his affair, including documents related to her divorce.

Some netizens asked for the lecturer's photo, which the student offered to e-mail to individual requesters.

However, other netizens criticized the student for his vindictive actions.

(EOPC notes there is a difference between exposing a predator and revenge. We do not encourage or approve of the latter. Don't be confused when Cyberpaths use a story such as this to try to further smear their victims. Not the same thing at all!

Many of our cyberpaths say their victims are merely 'spurned' or 'scorned' but there is NO COMPARISON between an affair ending - as in this story - and the PREDATORY TACTICS of a Cyberpath and their terrorization of their victims for telling the truth.)

Mr Cheong said the lecturer could report the student to the police for harassment as he had posted her personal details on the Internet and urged others to question her about the liaison. He added that if the student continues to talk about the affair, he could be charged with contempt of court, which could result in a jail term and a fine.

The lecturer now teaches at another institution under a different name.

EXCERPTED FROM THIS ARTICLE

Some examples of our Cyberpaths being vindictive after their exposure:

ONE

TWO

THREE

Almost all of our exposed Cyberpaths have threated EOPC and their victims but stop when they realize a court case involving the victims would reveal the truth about their predatory actions and the veracity of the exposure.

SEDUCTION, MIND CONTROL & SALESMANSHIP

noreply@blogger.com (Fighter) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 00:14:00 +0000

We have talked about mind-control, seduction and "grooming" that online predators do to the other adults they prey on. And we have mentioned that this type of seduction and NLP is also used in SALES. Yes, Sales. Here's a great article outlining the how-tos.

Compare this to Robert Greene's ART OF SEDUCTION or FAST SEDUCTION techniques (look for the parallels such as mirroring, eliciting values, all about 'feelings', imbedded commands and so on).- Fighter

Seductive Selling Secrets
by John James Santangelo

Have you ever been in an . . . . intimate relationship? Yes, INTIMATE!

Let me ask you this, "HOW do you know?"

I know, stupid question and what's this got to do with sales? Well, nothing really. Unless you're a mover and shaker. Then you understand the psychology of seductive sales. Or should say seductive BUYING! So, were you able to answer the question, "How do you know? "

The answer is, "you FEEL it!" You know because you have a feeling deep inside about what it is that you're so sure about, the same way people BUY! They just KNOW it. They can't tell you what that 'thing' is but if you ask the right questions, eventually you'll get an answer like, "It's just a gut instinct" or " I just KNOW." Or " I had a feeling it was the right decision." These are the real keys to selling folks. This is how people BUY. And if you are of the premise that you're a people person, smart, know you product, and how to close, you are far mistaken - leaving mounds of money on the table as they say. Don't get me wrong here, you MUST know all those things as well, though if that's all you have in your tool belt, you'll never be able to create a buying environment for your clients. Let's take a deeper look inside at some of the main factors in HOW people buy products and services. I promise, if you incorporate some of these simple skills into your tool belt, you'll be able to construct an exciting ambiance for your clients to FEEL good about who they are, decisions they make and their buying strategies.

The speed of todays business is consistantly increasing at a rapid rate. Companies are looking to increase their communication efficiency to maintain an edge over their competition. In the past 30 years a new model of communication and excellence has risen in the field of human behavior, a science that enhances the components between what we think, understand and how we communicate to people. Great sales people know this, because they're flexible and change their presentation style to match the needs of their prospects, which they will influence. When you have the ability to influence anyone, anywhere, at anytime your business and income will soar through the roof.

Effective communication skills are the most important tools we can learn in life. Yet, most have never learned to adequately become an effective communicator. Most will have theories, but no real answers. Many will state years of experience and practice are the only way to master these skills or it's something you're born with. The same goes with selling, if you do not learn to become a good communicator, your selling will not become any better either.

Most sales courses teach you to remember closing scripts and have you believe the words we speak are the primary source of our communication. But based on a 1970's study from the University of Pennsylvania, 93% of our communication is on a non-verbal level. Learning powerful physical and non-verbal skills, allows you to change how others perceive what you are saying and influence anyone at anytime; because it's the response we receive back from the client, not our given intention. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) was developed from a model of change and success – HOW people do what they do to succeed. When you fully and competently understand how your clients buy, are sold to, and how to influence them by understanding that 90% of the unconscious mind, which is responsible for every decision they make, you'll begin to naturally influence others to your point of view which means closing more sales. NLP offers some of the most powerful communication tools available in the sales training marketplace today. Simple, yet effective, tolls of awareness, skill, and perception make this technology a hidden resource of influence. NLP is the cutting edge tools of human development; the most influential communication and personal change technology yet available. It is the fundamentals of 'how' our brain operates. Individuals and organizations across the globe are using Neuro-Linguistic Programming to enhance their personal and professional lives. NLP is a new field providing a wide range of both step-by-step methods in developing your ability to reach highly effective levels of communication and understanding within yourself and with others.

Cute story -
Johnny Carson had the #1 Girl Scout salesgirl on his late night talk show. He asked her the secret to her success. She replied, "I just went to everyone house and asked, can I have a $30,000. donation for the girl scouts?' When they said No, I would ask, "would you at least buy a box of Girl Scout cookies?" She had mastered the Contrast frame at EIGHT years old.
The real keys to master influence are the following skills:

1. Intention of Desire!
Expectation
Attitude is EVERYTHING!
Positive self-image: the foundation of success in selling

2. Commitment of Purpose!
Commitment to succeed.
Amenhotep III - "You are your own worst obstacle. Get out of your way."

3. Respect their MAP !
Buy first, into their world.
Beliefs, values, attitudes and lifestyles
Defend their beliefs

4. Prepare your MIND!
What are YOUR values?
Continually learn
Perfect practice makes perfect.

5. RELATIONSHIPS are everything!
Win-Win-Win
Law of association
Testimonials

6. Selling is Useless!
Used car dealerships.
Prospecting: identifying who can and will buy
Two types of buyers…

7. People only BUY!
Buying is Unconscious
People buy FEELINGS
Why / How people buy -

8. Building TRUST and Rapport!
What is Rapport?
Communication Model
Mirror and matching

9. Asking the Right Questions!
What's important to you about/in _________?
How do you know when you have _________?
If I can give you ____ will you ______?
Feeling comfortable!

10. Closing the Sale!
ASSUME THE SALE.
ASK!!!
Future pace the BUY.

Once you have effectively mastered these simple techniques. Your ability to help people buy a product or service will escalate to new heights like you've never imagined.

Have you ever done a great job of solving your prospect's problems only to find they eventually bought from someone else? In the end, you really wasted a lot of valuable time. Or, has a potential customer told you exactly what he needed and you tried to SELL him on something other than what he KNOWS he wants. Forget, for the moment, your ability to overcome objections and your favorite five closing phrases. People are more likely to purchase if you first know how they made buying decisions in the past.

Here's a typical scenario:

Carol, a very successful Real Estate agent in Southern California thought she had a SLAM DUNK sale. Her prospect John, realized that as a self-employed professional, he needed home/office space that was larger than what he currently lived in, to do more business out of his home. Carol determined John's average monthly income level, how much house he could afford, and then showed him several homes that fit his financial needs. She got agreement from John that this was something he could afford, then closed the sale. Carol did an effective job of selling, right? Wrong! John procrastinated for a week and then bought from Carol's competitor.

Sound familiar? Why? Because Carol didn't determine John's psychological buying strategy.

Do you ever think to ask HOW your prospect decides to buy? As you book an appointment from a telephone conversation, do you find out quickly how they will decide to give you an appointment, OR decide to buy your product?

Once you learn to ask the right questions, you'll tap into exactly HOW they BUY from YOU! Yes, we all have a very specific buying strategy, and once you understand how your clients buy products and services like yours, you'll have their key to unlock the doors to closing more sales. If you don't find out, ahead of time, HOW your prospects will buy or WHAT their decision-making strategy is, you'll never even come close to 100 percent closing rate. But, if you learn to ask the right questions, your prospects will let you know, in advance, how they will buy, from YOU!

John James Santangelo C.Ht. nationally acclaimed speaker, seminar leader, and success coach has been a guiding force in empowering individuals, businesses, and corporations to excel at peak performance. Working with companies such as Learning Annex, CSUN-Northridge University, Mary Kay Inc, Well Point, Xerox, RE/MAX Realtors, the Teamsters Union, and the US Army counter-intelligence team. Whether you're looking to fulfill short-term goals, meeting planner events, or corporate sales/communication trainings, John can help you achieve a new level of success! He is the author of Asking The Right Questions…" For more information on Successful Communication Skills, email Info@JohnSantangelo.com or www.JohnSantangelo.com

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