Posting Woman’s Data on Craigslist Brings Charges

By BILL BRAKSICK

(ILLINOIS, USA) A Sycamore man has been charged with a misdemeanor offense after reportedly posting a woman’s contact information and offers for sex on an Internet website.

Alexander P. Dominguez, 25, of the 700 block of South Main Street, is accused of posting a woman’s name, phone number and workplace information, along with offers of sexual contact, on the classified website Craigslist.

According to court documents, the woman received dozens of phone messages from unknown people propositioning her for sex.

Dominguez is charged with harassment through electronic communications, a Class B misdemeanor punishable by not more than six months in jail.

He appeared for a bond hearing Wednesday at the DeKalb County Courthouse via closed-circuit television from the DeKalb County Jail.

He was released on a $1,500 recognizance bond, which allows a person to be released from jail with no money posted but a signed promise to be present at future court dates.

He is due back in court July 19.


(our exposed cyberpath Dunetz/ Yidwithlid did this to his victims on MySpace... possible pending legal action)


original article here

Why do YOU Always Have to be Right, Martyr Man?

(this wonderful article can be read in its entirety at THIS SITE. It could be a letter to any of our cyberpaths. We recommend you read the whole thing at the site linked below! - EOPC)

Dear Martyr Man,

You will always be the victim, in every situation where someone tries to get close to you. You cannot relate to women as equals. You look for a strong-willed woman, latch on to her, but envy her strength and ability to express herself openly, so you attack her in vicious little ways. Ways so subtle that you can easily and convincingly deny any wrongdoing and make HER look like the crazy one for even suspecting that you are a passive-aggressive game player.

You played similar games with women before, and this was a chief motivator for their anger and "abuse" towards you. If they struck you physically, that was not right,

but when you paint yourself as a martyr, you *always* fail to mention the emotional and psychological abuse you were inflicting on THEM.

That's right, Martyr. You are an abuser. You. Poor little cringing, eternally victimized you.

"But abusers scream, yell and hit, and I never do that!" you protest. "I'm not that way at all. I don't have the anger gene. I am completely incapable of anger."

What you are incapable of is the truth. But I am capable of the truth and here it is.

You ARE capable of anger. In fact, you are a very angry person, as your father before you must have also been - he is clearly the one upon whom you have modeled your behavior. Like him, you were too intimidated by other people to express your anger openly, so you nursed your rage in secret and struck out instead in subtle little ways. If you were asked to do something, you made sure you "forgot" repeatedly or did a poor job. You no doubt carry this behavior on in your work and it is the reason most of the other employees don't like you. People tend not to like someone who does not do his share of the work and is sullen and resistant to new ideas. They are probably tired of your constant subterfuge and backstabbing. No doubt you also play the divide-and-conquer game, playing people off against one another.

You haven't said much about your mother, but I'll make a few educated guesses. She was a strong-willed woman who dominated you and your father, and you both resented it, but neither of you ever told her so directly. Neither of you had the courage to assert yourselves openly. So you both "got even" with her by lying, false promises, "forgetting" or otherwise sabotaging things she asked you to do, and/or withholding your attention and love.

Your mother was a model for how you view women today. As I have previously said, you go after women with strong, assertive personalities, because they fit your mother's model and because you admire them for the qualities that you yourself lack. However, you also hate them because they are strong and you are weak. Because you cannot assert yourself openly, you play psychological games designed to break them down, subvert their will, and subtly - invisibly - assert YOUR control.

That's right, Martyr Man. You want control. You are not able to control yourself and so you are controlled by others - but you resent it. So you get a feeling of control by manipulating situations with a deft, invisible hand. You "forget" that a woman asked you to do something. You "forget" NOT to do something she finds hurtful or disrespectful.

You remember to do the things YOU enjoy and want to do, and your friends think you're a great guy - the kind of guy who would do anything for his friends! (Of course you would - your reputation depends on maintaining an appearance of kindness and willingness, and anyone who doesn't know you WELL would say what a nice guy you are - you would do anything to maintain that image).... If she does something you REALLY don't like, such as attempt to leave you, you hint around at suicide and disappear, leaving her to agonize for days over your fate. Really, you're off hanging out with your buddies and drinking and having fun, but she doesn't need to know that, does she?

No doubt she has noticed the fact that after your initial, highly romantic and complimentary approach, you do a complete about-face once she's "hooked" - like Jerkily and Hyde. Once she's in a relationship with you, the kind and gentle and loving courtship behavior ceases, and the passive-aggressive battle begins. First, you begin by slowly and subtly creating distance between you - by spending less time with her every day (always her fault, because of something SHE did...) withholding your attention and affection, making sure she gets the message that your friends, your other interests, EVERYTHING else are more important to you than the person you called the love of your life. When she challenges you about this behavior, you deny it, and make her out to be irrational and crazy for even suspecting it. After all, the success of a passive-aggressive campaign depends on secrecy and camouflage.
You lie easily, leaving out little details like a wife you haven't yet legally severed ties to, and children that you almost never see. You haven't got a divorce, and you won't, because even though you hate your wife, you feel chained to her. You are dependent on her. It's a parasitic relationship.... I haven't the faintest doubt you have cheated on her many times and lied to her many times, and that was the real cause of the attack that so wounded you emotionally. You brought it on yourself, but you won't admit that part.

... Yet, you still cling to this desperate delusion that you are incapable of anger.

That's a lie, Mr. Martyr. One of many.

Lies undermine the trust that is vital to all relationships. But you don't care about that as long as you can feel in control. Even when control comes at the expense of love, and that is sad.

Nobody can get close to you, Martyr Man. You'll let them within a certain distance, but then you are frightened by intimacy and of your will being sublimated to another's because deep down inside you know you are not strong enough to assert your own will openly and directly.... You wither under direct confrontation, but when you are able to operate undetected, you are a cruel and effective bully.

Games You Play:

1. The forgetting game:

You are asked to do something you don't want to do. Instead of saying no, you either "forget" about it or sabotage it so badly that the results are useless. You enjoy the frustration this causes others - this is your sneaky way of asserting yourself and controlling the situation from behind the scenes.

2. The withholding game:

Once in a relationship with someone, you begin to selectively withhold your time and affection. The other person senses this pulling away and asks about it. You deny it. But you let them know, indirectly, that many other things are more important to you than they are - your friends, your work, your opera DVDs. You let them know this by leaving their company to pursue these interests without telling them you are doing so. You enjoy the feeling of being in control, knowing you have falsely promised someone your attention later in the evening and knowing you have no intention of fulfilling that promise. You will "forget" to come back, and enjoy your evening alone knowing you are ruining someone else's. When the person confronts you about this treatment, you will act put out at the suggestion that your actions should live up to your words. You just can't remember to keep your promises!

.... You know full well that thist the way you like your partner to feel - that way she will be more dependent on you, desperate for your attention, and under your control.

3. The lying game:

Lies roll smoothly off your tongue whenever you are confronted about your behavior and/or something you failed to mention about your past, such as being currently married and the father of two children (now that is a big thing to "forget", even if you alienated them so badly that they don't want to spend any time with you any more). Lying by omission is lying, pure and simple. But you didn't lie on purpose, you claim. No, you just forgot, or your emotional pain was so great that you just couldn't bear to tell the truth!

4. The deflecting game:

Partner becoming suspicious of your lies? No matter, just deflect the attention! Change the subject, wander off, or start ruthlessly (and falsely) putting yourself down so that she won't have the heart to be "mean" enough to pursue the matter any further. If she persists, then you play:

5. The martyr game:

This is your favorite game of all. This game allows you to escape responsibility for anything and everything by invoking your status as the most misunderstood, mistreated, helpless and victimized martyr who ever walked the earth. Nobody understands you or your pain! Don't they see that being a victim completely justifies the way you turn around and become a victimizer at will? Nobody could ever suspect poor little abused, tormented you of torpedoing relationships.

Nobody could expect such an innocent little lamb of deliberately causing emotional and psychological damage to others. Why, look at the way he cries and curls up into a helpless little ball when confronted (and when the lying and deflecting games don't work)! He could never harm ANYONE.

.... The Martyr has no pity or compassion for anyone else, since he saves it all for himself.

6. The superior game:

Unlike all the other people on Earth, you're incapable of anger. You're a regular Gandhi, full of kindness and respect for all, and it's such a tragedy that other people feel the need to get angry at you. You'd never push someone's buttons until they responded in anger and then deny any wrongdoing, setting them up to look like the emotional, crazy one. You'd never get satisfaction out of a nasty little game like that, because you're too superior. You're also superior to the rest of the world culturally - nobody is as sensitive and artistic as you, and nobody appreciates your kind of music, or appreciates it at such a lofty level. You especially love to pull this routine after you've seriously pissed somebody off. You respond with calm politeness - calm of course, since you have got the angry/upset reaction you were aiming for - and double-whammy the person by showing them how YOU never get angry because you are too superior a person to be capable of anger. ...
No wonder you're so angry at being unmasked publicly. Your games depend on your victim not knowing what's going on.

You are not interested in confronting your problems or getting any help for them. You'd rather just float through life like a spineless jellyfish, stinging anyone who ventures too near. Your behavior patterns are firmly entrenched and you are too old to change.

I have no doubt you will continue this behavior pattern with the next woman you meet, and you will continue it until you drive her away, too. You like to drive women away - like to get them so fed up that they leave. That feeds your sickness in a number of ways:

it takes the burden of decision-making off of YOU;

* it enables you to play the martyr over being left by this cruel, horrible woman;
* it gets you sympathy from your next prospect.

You like hurting other people and you have no intention of changing.

And don't bother with the "I'm a wonderful sensitive human being who would never cause anyone harm; you've misunderstood me". Oh no. I have not. I have understood you at last.

I understand now how you messed with my mind and made me even fear for my own sanity, how you exploited me emotionally, how you hurt me to the point where I actually felt suicidal. (Dorsky, Campbell, Jacoby, Thomas and YidwithLid's targets all mentioned this, readers!)
..... It's called PROJECTION. It's what YOU would do in such a situation, so you project your own screwed up motives onto others.

For someone who is so wounded, so sensitive, so compassionate, so victimized, so gentle - your letters bristle with anger, threats, and nastiness. I thought you were incapable of such things, Gandhi. And you sure are lacking in any compassion at all for the women you've tormented - you have none for your wife and you have none for me. And no doubt you'll have none for your next victim.

You chose your life, and you choose to be this way. You choose it every day. You could change, and learn to be a person of truth, strength and integrity, but you choose not to. It's easier to sit in your shit and cry about how you are victimized while you are busy victimizing others. This is the life you've chosen. You have chosen to be unhappy, and to inflict unhappiness on others.

(While this is written for the male gender, your abuser could be a female martyr. Does this sound like your cyberpath/abuser? - EOPC)

Cyber Thieves Play Their Victim's Heartstrings

By THOMAS MICHALSKI

There are countless cyber crimes reported to law enforcement and other government agencies. They include work-at-home, check cashing, lottery and too many others to mention.

A computer is described as a device, electronic or otherwise, that performs high-speed mathematical or logical operations or that assembles, stores, correlates, or otherwise processes information.

The earliest form of computers actually date back to 3500 BC in India, Japan and China. The first recorded "computer crime" occurred in 1820 when Joseph-Marie Jacquard, a French textile manufacturer, invented a device that allowed the repetition of a series of steps in the fabric weaving process. His employees, fearing that their jobs were in jeopardy, sabotaged the new technology.

Computers have come a long way. Unfortunately, cyberspace is now the home to hundreds of Internet crimes that are designed to part innocent people from their money. Most illicit acts are described in the Information Technology Act of 2000 that covers everything from e-mail spoofing to illegal financial scams, pornography, online gambling, forgery, defamation and even cyberstalking.

One of the more popular illicit flim-flams involves romantic letters that eventually become pleas for money.

For this story, I answered one of those letters sent to my company e-mail address. It was one of many transmitted daily by swindlers from all over the world.

This particular one came from "Miss Grace," a self-described "single girl looking for honest and nice person, somebody who care and fear God whom I can partner with."

Her English was terrible, but we played her game for nearly three weeks.

Miss Grace, who also billed herself as "Grace John," claimed to be a 26-year-old West African. She sent a photograph of an attractive young woman with a winning smile.

In the initial Jan. 20 letter she wrote, "I would like to know you more, most especially what you like and what you dislike.

"I am sending you this beautiful mail, with a wish for much happiness," Grace wrote.

My reply was a faux background. "I too am looking for someone. My last wife just died. I've had four of them."

That probably set off the bell at Grace's scam central. A lonely old man. A target!

Grace's Jan. 27 letter was long and personal. In it she relates the story of her father, Dr. Benson John, the "director of project department of gold and diamond," and a successful importer and exporter of cocoa.

"I lost my parent during the war when rebels attacked my house one early morning killing my mother and my father," Grace wrote. "I am 5 feet 7 inches height, fair in complexion with average weight. I am very good at cooking. I love music and I like dancing too."

In another letter Grace called me an "angel" that brightens her day. She wanted my photograph. I declined, and elaborated on my alleged wealth that I said included airplanes and racing cars.

The hook was set.

On Jan. 28 Grace dropped the bomb. Her father, she wrote, left $5.9 million and Grace wants to share it with me. She wants to transfer all that money into my account and all I have to do is send her money for airfare and expenses. She further warns that I must keep the arrangement secret, but first I must contact her bank.

"I hope you will never let me down," Grace says.

She describes her life in a "deportation camp." In later letters Grace says she lives with a "pastor." She won't say how she can use a computer from the camp.

"The bank told me to look for a foreign reliable and honest partner who will assist me in the (money) transfer," Grace writes. "I am glad that God has brought you to see me out of this situation and I promise to be kind and will equally need you in every area of my life."

The bank, she writes, is the Bank of Africa-Senegal. I'm to contact a Mr. Paul Sidibe. She signs the letter, "Always and forever yours, Grace."

On Jan. 30 she pushes me, the faux old and lonely rich man, to provide my personal information to her "bank." I tell her I have more than $5 million in my checking account. That must have caused her and her cronies to salivate.

"You are always on my mind," Grace wrote. She signs her letter, "From my deepest heart, yours forever, Grace."

I told Grace on Feb. 2 that I would not provide the information she requested. On Feb. 3 she asked for money to scan copies of her father's account records. On Feb. 4 she was informed that I was a journalist doing a story on Internet fraud. I asked her a series of questions that received no reply. It was a short lived romance.

Her e-mail is one of many similar ones sent under various names. Consumer Fraud Reporting, a free online site (http://www.consumerfraudreporting.org) that warns of specific types of financial and other cyber crimes, shows an example of a letter from a "Miss Nafisatu John Apollo." It is very similar to Grace's. Maybe they're related? They each have "John" in their name.

Government agencies warn people who receive these kinds of letters to ignore them. They yank at the heartstrings of the old and lonely. Another Web site, www.ic3.gov, is used by law enforcement agencies to track cyber fraud. It is a joint effort between the FBI, the National White Collar Crime Center and the Bureau of Justice Assistance. (IC3 currently has a 6-7 year backlog of cases to investigate - do not expect a speedy answer.)

"If something sounds too good to be true," said Officer Donna Saxer of the Pinellas Park police crime prevention unit, "then it probably is."

ORIGINAL ARTICLE

EOPC EXAMPLES:
DAN JACOBY

ANDREW TAMMAR & MARLON WORTHAM

ED HICKS/ CHARLES HICKS/ CHARLES GREENE

JAMES BRIAN ELLINGTON

JOSEPH CAFASSO

MATTHEW COX

PHIL HABERMAN

Wanna-Be SEALS & "Special Ops" Pretenders

When 65-year-old David Silbergeld was found dead in a quiet Delaware park -- the result of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head -- few familiar with his case were surprised. Silbergeld had become much maligned in the small Pennsylvania town where he had been an adjunct community college professor and something of a local celebrity. Silbergeld was fired from his job and found himself the target of federal scrutiny when it was revealed that his long-time claims of having been a Navy SEAL were fraudulent. Moreover, Silbergeld was receiving full V.A. disability as a result of ongoing symptoms stemming from his special-forces service in Vietnam.

In fact, Silbergeld, like thousands of other special-forces pretenders, had never enrolled or graduated from any military special forces school or program. Although he claimed to have killed eleven enemy troops in hand-to-hand combat, no evidence of any combat experience existed. At some point along the path in Silbergeld's grandiose fabrication, those familiar with real SEAL training became suspicious and David Silbergeld had the grave misfortune of becoming the focus of a veteran’s organization devoted to uncovering SEAL fakes. In short order, Silbergeld's lies were made public, his heroic house of cards collapsed, and he took a walk with a revolver rather than face the consequences of his sham.

In recent years, several special-forces watchdog groups have sprung up to combat the problem of phony SEALS and fraudulent medal winners. Wall Street Journal writer, Amy Chozick, recently showcased the work of two of these groups, AuthentiSEAL.org, and VeriSEAL.org. Both groups are run by genuine SEALs, mostly veterans who are sick and tired of hearing wannabe's claim membership in their elite fraternity. Both groups boast remarkable success in identifying frauds and their websites often contain extensive lists, even photos, of those they have outed as imposters. At times, these watchdog groups are tenacious in exposing the fakes to their families, employers, and communities. At present, AuthentiSEAL.org claims to have uncovered about 20,000 SEAL fakers. The tone of these organizations suggests a broad assumption that all fakers mean to diminish the glory of genuine SEALS and that all should be tracked down and humiliated. There is no record of the personal aftermath for their victims nor any body count ticker for suicides. It is unlikely that David Silbergeld was the first. He certainly won’t be the last.

The purpose of this short treatise on faux Navy SEALS is not to stick up for special-forces fakers, nor am I interested in questioning the motives or methods of those who hunt them down. As a former naval officer, I object to any deceit related to one’s military record and I hold particular admiration for colleagues who have what it takes to make it in the SEALS.

My objective is merely to broaden our perspective on the why question. Why fake a special-forces background? Too often we might assume that all fraudulent SEALS are malignant sociopaths bent on milking the SEAL ruse for all it’s worth. If we see these men as deliberately exploitive, lacking any conscience or remorse, and fundamentally criminal in the sense of using the fraud for immediate and tangible gain (e.g., cash, benefits, employment) then they might indeed meet diagnostic criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder (sociopathy) and severe consequences are easy to justify.

But experience suggests there are other "types" or clusters hidden in the population of would-be SEALS. In addition to old fashioned sociopathy, I propose that there are at least three other prominent motivations leading to SEAL (or Special Ops) faking.

First, there are the Narcissists. The Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by extreme egotism, arrogance, an unquenchable need for tribute and admiration, and an ongoing wish to be seen as special or unusual. True, the Narcissist is lying about his SEAL record just like the Antisocial, but his reasons are different. The Narcissist is using a SEAL persona to gratify profound needs for attention and may be uninterested in any tangible gain. Think of the Narcissistic fake SEAL as making a desperate attempt to compensate for his own sense of inadequacy; yes, Freud would say the man has SEAL envy. This type is so convinced of his own worthlessness that only perpetual adulation will ease the pain -- enter the SEAL.

A second, though considerably less common variety of faker is the traumatized veteran. Here we see a service member who actually did time in the service, and may have been involved in combat. He suffers from Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and may have related memory difficulties or in rare circumstances, psychotic symptoms. Very gradually, his service-related stories morph to incorporate affiliation with special-forces, unusual missions, or other false information. What part of this is deliberate and what part is more unconscious and linked to traumatic symptoms? In some cases, this is not at all clear.

A final profile among the ranks of faux SEALS is that of the utilitarian fibber. I suspect this may constitute one of the largest groups of special-forces frauds. The utilitarian fibber adopts a false SEAL persona only in isolated circumstances -- at least at first -- to get jobs, get friends, or to get laid. (this would apply to Barber, Thomas & Haberman)

One would not be surprised to see younger, less mature folks in this group. In this instance, the deceiver slings on the SEAL story like a cape, hoping to use the elite persona to leverage access to career advancement, social status, or perhaps just the sack. In contrast to the antisocial or the narcissist, expect this fake to fess up more readily when confronted; he has less to lose by coming clean.

Posing as a member of the special-forces is clearly illegal, not to mention upsetting for all of us who respect and admire the real thing. But remember that SEAL fakers are a varied bunch. While some are malignant; others are just pathetic. ...we should hold all of them accountable...

from: http://www.military.com

(This applies to our exposed predators: Phil Haberman, Nathan E.B. Thomas, Jr., Joseph Cafasso and William Michael Barber. (see list on upper right column of this blog and click the name for more information) While some didn't say they were SEALS, they did lie about their military involvements. Thomas even implied he was CIA and fighting the Taliban. LOL

Barber used his special military training to con his way into a job as a criminal investigator. Cafasso got the media to buy him as a "Terrorism Expert!"

The only terrorism these guys know is the emotional and mental lies they visit upon their hapless victims! - EOPC)

ONLINE ATTACKS

by Robin M.

Why So Many Feel Big When They Hide Behind A Screen

I’ve often joked that the internet is the last place that beating up women in public is still considered acceptable. Ask any woman who writes online, be it politics, women’s rights, often even parenting and more mundane social issues, and you will hear a nearly universal admittance that she has at some point been attacked for her views by at least one anonymous commenter. Not an “I disagree with you because x, y,z…” response, but a “You stupid bitch, why do you think you can write what you write.”

I used to be amazed by the vitriol. Then I was saddened. Eventually, though, I saw that as just another part of the territory when you open yourself up as a writer online.

I accepted it. We all pretty much accept it. That is the part that should make us all angry — our now inherent acceptance of the idea that if you write online, you will be harassed, especially if you are a woman.

As Nina Funell explains in this piece in the Australian, “The internet has absolutely changed the nature of public debate. The anonymity and the immediacy it gives people who want to indulge in abuse and hate… I don’t know if it actually makes it more or less dangerous [to have a public profile] but when you’re seeing a whole heap of hate speech written about you in separate forums, targeting you via email or in comments, I do know that it has a profound impact on your sense of safety…”

I’ve always been lucky to feel safe, despite opening a great deal of my private life online because of my writing about infertility and reproductive health. Although I have had my own share of comments, both with real names (I assume) attached or sent anonymously, I have learned to ignore them as simply a part of my work. I never stop to question why it should ever be a part of anyone’s “work” to deal with online harassment.

Once, things escalated beyond just comments and insults. It was a shocking realization of not just how exposed you actually do leave yourself online, but how free those who disagree with you feel it is allowable to step beyond the normal bounds of public and private life in order to “teach you a lesson” about how wrong you are about the things you believe.

I learned my lesson well. I learned that to allow someone to silence you online is to lose your power, and that when your personal life goes on line, you don’t go quiet, you identify it for what it is — an attack by someone who wants to intimidate you from acting on your beliefs. You must learn to change that attack into something that can become a positive for you, a chance to show your strength, expand your audience, whatever it is that they are trying to stop you from accomplishing.

The internet may always be the last place for attacks, especially attacks on women, to thrive. But we don’t have to accept it, we have to fight it.

original article here

Involved With a Sociopath (or Cyberpath)?

Cyberpathy is an expression of Sociopathy and Narcissism -- therefore this article is very pertinent to those who may be, are or ever were involved with a Cyberpath. If you have thoroughly read any of our predator stories -- you will relate to this article! - EOPC

PART I



Is there something wrong with your guy? Does he lie, cheat, steal, commit fraud, use people then discard them, have fits of rage, seem self-centered or have no conscience?

Do you feel like something is wrong with him, but you are not sure what it is? It sometimes seems like his brain just does not work right and he does outrageous things.

Beware! You might be dating a sociopath. What are the warning signs? What should you do?

Sociopaths are sneaky and will worm their way into your life, despite your misgivings from the beginning. Something about this man is not quite right. You can’t put your finger on it, and you hesitate, but you get sucked into him anyway. These men are charming and can put on an act that wins your sympathy and devotion.

• If you have issues of low self-esteem, they instinctively know how to approach you and suck you in.



• If you are lonely and needy you are a big target for the man with a sociopathic personality disorder.

He makes you feel special and important. He convinces you they he has been misunderstood all his life, and you are the only one who understands him now. You feel validated and needed by this man, and he sucks you in deeper and deeper over time.

Your first warning was your gut instinct, and that was the time to run away and leave this relationship behind. Unfortunately, you didn’t, and now you are stuck in the hell that is a relationship with a sociopath. We all need to pay attention to the red flags, warning signs, gut instincts. We can learn to recognize the sociopath and never get sucked into him again.

The words sociopathic, psychopathic, and antisocial personality all mean the same thing and are a true mental illness, a psychosis. The three terms are interchangeable and have only different areas of focus such as socialization or criminal behavior. We will use the word sociopath because it is the most recognizable. Psychopaths are often equated with serial murderers, and antisocial is equated with dysfunction. [But the majority of them are MUCH more subtle!] The sociopath is sometimes charming and usually looks and acts normal enough to fool us. All three terms carry the same meaning: a disorder of the personality.



The most important thing to know is that a sociopath has a brain that does not work right. In fact, he is missing a part of his brain. More specifically, he is missing one of the building blocks of his personality. This is important to understand because it explains the seriousness of this disorder and why it cannot be treated or fixed or cured.

The part of his brain that is missing shapes his conscience, and because it is missing, he does not have one. The sociopath does not feel guilt, remorse or shame like the rest of us feel when we do something bad or wrong. He is not capable of feeling guilt or shame because he is missing that piece of his personality. It also means he does not have the boundaries, restraints on his behavior or impulse control that the rest of us do so he will do things that are outrageous, things that normal personalities would never consider doing.

The bad news for you is that this personality disorder cannot be fixed. You cannot fix him, and he cannot fix himself. No therapy or drug can fix this personality disorder because a part of his brain is missing. With long-term therapy some of the symptoms might be lessened, or the sociopath might learn to live more productively in society, but it cannot be fixed. This is why the most important piece of advice for the person involved with a sociopath is to leave. Get him out of your life. Run, don’t walk, away from him and never, ever go back.

A good comparison, something to help you understand the medical implications of this disorder, is to compare it to a disease of the eye. Diseases and disorders of the eye can be treated, like glaucoma, astigmatism, nearsightedness, etc., with medicine, eyeglasses, or laser surgery. Color blindness, however, can NOT be treated, because the person is missing the color cones and rods in the eye. A doctor cannot fix what is not there to begin with. This is why the sociopath, with a part of his personality missing, cannot be fixed. No doctor or therapist can put back what wasn’t there to begin with, and the sociopath is missing an actual building block of his personality, deep within his brain.

This explains why you sometimes feel like his brain just doesn’t work right. He lies, uses you, manipulates, bleeds you dry, rages, begs forgiveness, and then does it all over again without any guilt, remorse or shame.

Are you the one who is crazy, you ask yourself? No. His brain really does not work right.

Understanding and accepting this fact will help you leave the sociopath and make your life right again with normal men and healthy relationships.

ORIGINAL

READ MORE:
Part 2
Part 3

While this article uses the male gender, your sociopath/ narcissist/ cyberpath may well be female.

Technology Used by Criminals to Track or Find Victims

by Tom Smith

Instead of lurking in bushes or hiding in the shadows outside of homes, stalkers have gone high-tech, using cell phones, computers and the Internet to hunt and track their victims.

"I know of some cases where people were stalked by e-mail or through Facebook or another social networking site," said Bryan Oakley, an agent with the FBI's Huntsville office who specializes in Internet crime.

He said technology is so advanced that tracking software can be added to telephones, cell phones or laptop computers.

"(Cyberstalking) is something that five years ago would be difficult to do, but there are more people using technology every day," Oakley said. "A lot of people use Twitter or Facebook to file what they are doing and where they are doing it, every minute of the day.

"People put out information about where they're traveling, where they work, pictures of their car, their friends, or themselves. They put out all the information someone stalking another person would need to know."

According to statistics released by the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), in Washington D.C., there are 3.4 million stalking victims each year. Of those, one in four victims said they have experienced a form of cyberstalking.

Alexis Moore said most people are naive about the problem.

"They have the mindset of 'it's not going to happen to me.' It does; it happened to me," said Moore, a California resident who was stalked by a former intimate friend.

"He was opening and closing my bank accounts," she said. "He never went as far as stealing from me, but I was not able to cash a check because he was making it where I was overdrawn all the time," she said. "He was going online, paying my bills on my accounts with money I didn't have, trying to ruin my credit."

She said the actions were not classified as crimes, but it was a nuisance.

"I never thought something like this would happen to me," Moore said.

To put a stop to the problem, Moore "shut down everything and lived off cash for a while."

"It was a sinister game to him, just trying to drive me crazy," she said.

Phil Bridgemon, instructor and chairman of the Criminal Justice Department at the University of North Alabama, said cyberstalking is the new wave of crime.

"People need to take this very seriously," he said. "Knowing this should cause everyone who uses a computer to manage their online identity better and more closely. There are no secrets; there is no modesty."

He said would-be stalkers search social networking sites, profiling people in hopes of finding a victim.

Katherine Hull, vice president of communications for RAINN, said people need to be aware of what they are putting online.

"People get online, and they think their activity is anonymous, but it isn't," she said. "They post things, get in a chat room and say something that leaves themselves wide open to becoming a victim of cyberstalking.

"Technology is a wonderful thing, but it opens us up to be vulnerable."

Bridgemon agrees.

"Because of the information that we put out there on the Internet, stalkers can follow someone around and never leave their home," he said.

Parry Aftab, a spokeswoman for Wired Safety, an online safety group, said people need to be taught digital hygiene.

"They have to be taught how to use the Internet and social networking systems in a safe manner," she said. "Unfortunately, that's something that people never think of before it's too late.

"Not only do they not see this coming, but they don't know they need to see it coming," Aftab said.

"We have got to do a better job in educating the public about this growing problem."

Michelle Collins, an official with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, said her agency has had a cyber tip line for 12 years in an effort to learn more about cyber crimes.

"Last year, we received 120,000 calls," Collins said. "Many of those were about cyberstalking."

She said cyberstalking often leads to physical assaults.

Collins said there was an incident in Wyoming where an ex-boyfriend put a posting online claiming his ex-girlfriend had a rape fantasy and needed people who would fulfill that fantasy.

"They actually showed up at her house and raped her," Collins said.

Franklin County District Attorney Joey Rushing said there is no one definition of a cyberstalker.

"They come in all shapes, sizes, ages and backgrounds," he said. "They patrol Web sites looking for an opportunity to take advantage of people."

He said in Alabama cyberstalking falls under the stalking law, which is a felony.

Sheffield Police Chief Greg Ray said a few years ago his department worked on cybercrimes trying to catch people who were using the Internet to prey on underage girls. He said in setting up sting operations, three people, two from other states, were arrested.

"What they were doing was basically stalking these children or the profiles of these children," Ray said.

Hull said RAINN tries to stress the importance of being careful with information put on the Internet.

"We are living in an age where people are living a vast part of their lives online. That's why we encourage folks to think twice about what kind of information they put on the Internet," Hull said.

"Criminals take advantage of any tools they can, and (the Internet) is just another new tool at their disposal," Oakley said.

Moore said there have already been too many victims of cyberstalking.

"It's an invisible crime, one where the victim is usually not beat up or one where we can see the criminal," Moore said. "The answer is education, starting at the younger ages, teaching school-age children how to use technology the right way - the safe way."

original article here

COERCIVE TACTICS OF CYBERPATHS

We have edited this to pertain to Cyberpaths. But the behavioral aspects are the SAME as for abusers and battered (physical, emotional, verbal or psychological) victims.

The male gender has been used but, your Cyberpath may be female - EOPC
from: "Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain you Dry" has some helpful information on how to recognize when a cyberpath is hypnotizing you. You look for the signs in your own reactions:

"Make sure you recognize the warning signs of hypnosis: instant rapport, deviating from standard procedure, thinking in superlatives, discounting objective information, and confusion." Emotional Vampires, pg. 48

These are all signs you look for in yourself.

Excerpts summarized, see the book for more details:

Instant rapport -- That wonderful feeling that you are instantly "clicking" with someone you've just met is a clear warning sign. You have likely stumbled into someone who has either done their research before "accidentally" meeting you or before a job interview, or they are quick to assess what it is you think about yourself and are careful to reflect back to you what you want to hear.

Deviating from standard procedure -- Suddenly you find yourself making exceptions and doing things very differently than you normally do for someone! (outside your normal comfort/ ethics/ moral zone)

Thinking in superlatives -- You've just met the most wonderful, most incredible, most charming and thoughtful person ever. Big red sign that someone is messing around inside your head. The author says, "distorted perceptions usually involve superlatives". He also points out that the superlatives can be negative too.

Discounting objective information -- You've been swept off your feet in no time flat. You're loving how you feel around this person -- so much so that you are now avoiding objective sources of information about this person and your own common sense!

Or, if you do hear things you don't want to hear, you tell yourself it is somehow different for you. He was different back then. When you find yourself avoiding getting objective information about this person you have a clear sign in yourself that you're very happy in this little fantasy that's been created for you and don't want the bubble popped. You're in trouble if you keep this up.

Remember, this doesn't just apply to romantic partners. It can happen with a fellow church or club member, a co-worker, boss, employee, etc.

Confusion -- "Hazy understanding of the reasons for your own reactions, coupled with unusual certainty, is a pretty clear sign that somebody has been messing with your mind." pg. 29

~ Bidermans Chart of Coercion ~
(Edited to Apply to Cyberpathy)

Abusers use tactics similar to what prison guards use on their prisoners, it is a type of brainwashing. They recognize that control is not easily accomplished, they need the cooperation of the victim. This can most effectively be gained through subversive manipulation of the mind and feelings of the victim, who then becomes a psychological, as well as a physical prisoner. These tactics form what we know as emotional abuse and online cyberpathy.

The original Bidermans Chart of Coercion identifies these methods and tactics of power and control used by abusers and their anticipated result. This Chart was originally a publication called "Report of Torture" from Amnesty International, which depicted the brainwashing of prisoners during war. Diana Russel later reprinted it in her book "Rape in Marriage."

The tactics used are:

ISOLATION - this deprives the victim of all social support that is necessary for the ability to resist. It makes the victim develop an intense concern with self. It also makes the victim dependent upon the interrogator, just like our predators, wanting all the control. They demean our family, friends, jobs and schooling, to the point that we generally give them all up. We begin to believe what our cyberpath is telling us and fear what may happen, if we don't go along with them. Once they take away our outside support system, so we have no one telling us anything different, than what the cyberpath is saying. (i.e. "don't talk to so-and-so, she's obsessed with me" or "don't chat with him if he emails or IMs you - he's a liar")

MONOPOLIZATION OF PERCEPTION - this fixes attention upon the immediate predicament and fosters introspect. It eliminates any stimuli competing with those controlled by the cyberpath, and it frustrates all actions not consistent with compliance. This makes us worry about each moment, we have little or no outside contact or focus, just what is happening with our abusive situation and if we don't abide by what they say or want, we know how bad it can and will get. (i.e. "don't tell!! this is our little secret" and "I am a great/ honest/ sincere guy - and here's the proof" [selective information])

INDUCED DEBILITY AND EXHAUSTION - this weakens both our mental and physical ability to resist. How many of our abusers picked 3am to cause an uproar? Odd or emotional times, when we were not strong enough to resist. Or the ones who want you to waiting around online for them, only come on at late hours once they have you hooked, not let you sleep, then go at it with you all night long.

They know when we are tired, we are more vulnerable and more apt to give in to their demands, without a fight. Exhaustion makes it even more difficult to counter the accusations and we agree to things we never would under normal conditions. (With a cyberpath this also includes "word salad" and purposeful confusion)

THREATS - this cultivates anxiety and despair. Threats can be as bad or worst than actions, the fear this can instill can do an incredible amount of emotional damage and alot to keep us in line. This is an emotional blackmail. (i.e. "if you keep questioning my sincerity I will stop chatting with you" or leaving you for hours, days, weeks or even months without a word; just disappearing -- blocking you until THEY are ready to chat. Saying they will "get" you or naming family members is a threat and should be reported to police immediately)

OCCASIONAL INDULGENCES - this provides positive motivation for compliance. Often after the abuse, during the "honeymoon stage" they may send flowers, call you all the time, "love bomb" you (compliments, cyber or phone sex, you are their soulmate, you are the ONE they've always dreamed of...), be kind and promise unconditional love, ect. Some nice little things, which to the victim will usually mean alot, when we are so wide open with pain. It will always happen when we are most vulnerable. But to the cyberpath it only means more control!

DEMONSTRATING "OMNIPOTENCE" - this suggests futility of resistance. Making you believe they are completely capable and have the ability to carry out any threats and warnings they have given you, if you don't comply. They have all the power and you better do as they say, regardless of what you may feel about these things. (i.e. "I will tell your partner, husband, parents what we have been doing" or "I will make your life hell" or "if you... then I will...")

ENFORCING TRIVIAL DEMANDS - this develops a habit of compliance. All those little things they can get you to accept doing, those lists of chores, asking you where you go, how you dress, how you speak or not to speak -- what they 'expect' in a woman. Begging you for cybersex, photos, etc because they "need" them is also part of this. This a part of their way of getting you to do the big things, the bad things and also keeping quiet about them. They have been programming you to obey, whatever they say.

DEGRADATION - this makes the cost of resistance appear to be more damaging to self-esteem than the capitulation. It reduces the victim to "animal level" concerns. In other word, if you don't go along with what they want, you will suffer the consequences and that will be worst than if you just do whatever they want. (i.e. "I won't "love" you if you don't obey me"; also part of their: DEVALUE & DISCARD)

All of these methods have been used on us, day after day. The road to freedom and healing begins with overcoming everything our cyberpaths have worked so hard to put into place in our minds. This sometimes requires and understanding therapist. It is not an easy task. The first step is to acknowledge them for what an are - tactics to have power and control over us. Most everything that has been said to us by our cyberpaths are lies and empty promises. We must totally begin to think for ourselves and wipe out all the negative things that we have been programmed to believe and feel.

Every one of us must know, none of it was our fault, we didn’t ask for it and we definitely did not and do not deserve it. There is nothing any of us could have done differently, or better that would of changed how an cyberpaths has acted, or made the trauma not happen.

That is the sole choice and problem of the predator. They usually will never admit that though. No one deserves to be abused in any way, shape or form - even online. It is our right to be happy and free from abuse. Cyberpaths are criminals, just as a rapist, an armed robber or a murder.

They should be treated as such and not be made excuses for or their abuse and preying on us covered up.

If we want Online Predators & Cyberpaths to stop, we must all use our own voices, to say abuse is wrong and I have had enough! The road to Freedom is Knowledge and Knowledge IS Power.

Our Exposed Predators who used these methods? ALL OF THEM!

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON HOW PREDATORS SEDUCE & COERCE and the AFTER-EFFECTS ON VICTIMS GET A COPY OF "WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS" by Sandra Brown, MA. A Must Read!

The Poor 'Cyberpath' Feels Threatened

by Kathy Krajco

(We have replaced the word 'narcissist' with Cyberpath, since a Cyberpath is usually a destructive narcissist; among other things - EOPC)



Let's take a look at this line that cyberpaths aren't really bad, that they lash out at you because they feel "threatened."

This idea begs the question "Threatened in what way?" and "Threatened by what?"

If you're the victim of a cyberpath, you know that this "threatened" excuse is a farce, because the cyberpath attacks precisely when you are anti-threatening him or her. Like when you are trying please them, when you are saying you love them, when they are already mad at you and you are trying to appease them, when you try to get them to listen to you.

WHAM – you expect the normal reaction to these friendly behaviors, but what do you get instead? The PERVERTED reaction of an attack. It's a shock tactic that takes you aback and makes you have to pinch yourself.

What on earth have you done to "threaten" the poor cyberpath?

Let's look at the last example – trying to get him to listen to you.

By doing that, you ARE "threatening" him, I'm afraid. Yes.

Correction: No, you are not threatening him; you are threatening the imaginary him, the bogus "him." You're threatening his delusions of grandeur.

ANY honesty or reality does. Remember that he is a mental child playing Pretend, and she wants all his 'playmates' to play along. That means you are supposed to follow his script. You are supposed to act unworthy of her attention or regard. When you don't play that part, he stomps her little foot at you and gets mad, throwing a temper tantrum to be so obnoxious that you give in and do what he wants.

In his self-deluding game of Let's Play Pretend, he is so far superior to you that you are beneath his notice, at the relative level of some worm or bug with respect to him. He's something divine; he should look down his nose in contempt at you.

And, you had better act the part or he will go off at you. But here you are, acting like he owes you his attention. In other words, you're acting like God Almighty's equal.

Oh, how horrible an insult to God Almighty!!! Shame on you! You - a mere bug, a mere worm - are "threatening" her majesty by treating him as your equal! Quit "threatening" his delusions of divinity, you mean and naughty person.

The same is true for the example of telling him you love him, for in a profession of love is an implicit call for love in return. Oh, what a horrible attack on his godhead with respect to a mere bug, a mere worm like you! You are treating him as your equal. What an insult!


So, don't let the addle-headed know-it-alls confuse you. You are not threatening the poor cyberpath. The cyberpath is just a pervert = someone who perverts the course of logic to pervert reality. Hence, he pervertedly views love or affection or any call for engagement from him as its very opposite = a "threat."

His Perverted Thinking Machine is not your fault or your problem. It's his fault and his problem. He is not really threatened by you acting like his equal.

In other words, he isn't fighting back against any injury or threat: he is just an aggressor targeting vulnerable prey. That is, he's abusing you to feed his ego.

To blame you for what he does to you, by saying that that you are thus "threatening" him, is as crazy as it would be to blame a lamb for "threatening" a wolf by running away when the hungry wolf feels a need to eat said lamb.

But the so-called experts cannot seem to get it through their thick heads that there is a fundamental difference between fighting others and eating them – between fighting and predation. Though they Play Pretend that they are the only ones qualified to express an opinion on the matter, they are actually the least knowledgeable and qualified, because they know nothing but what they have read in speculative essays by others just as ignorant and whatever lines cyberpaths on their couches have fed these collective speculators. Both individually and collectively they have almost no experience with real cyberpaths, let alone any real-world experience with them. And they haven't even solicited information from victims of cyberpaths. So, how could they possibly know what they are talking about?

Trust your own observations. Reason from facts to conclusions, not backwards, and you will learn what you need to know.

All animals occasionally fight others (including others of their own species) when those others cross boundaries to threaten their interests in some way. You can tell when this is the motive, because the moment the aggressor backs off the fighting stops, and everybody's cool again.


Why? Because when you feel threatened, your motive is to repulse the threat = self-defense. Once you have accomplished that mission, you are done.

But when your motive is to destroy the other, the other party backing down or trying to appease you has the opposite effect. Then it's a sign of weakness that just emboldens the attacker to pour on the attack more furiously than ever.

That's why when an animal attacks to eat another, it doesn't stop till it has ripped that other to shreds. That's what human predators (like psychopaths and other narcissists) do to their prey, as well.

The only way to avoid "threatening" these perverts is to just get and stay far away from them.

ORIGINAL: The Poor Narcissist Feels Threatened

(while this article uses the male gender - your cyberpath can be female)

Online Dating: Don't Believe the Advertising

Online dating services and chat rooms advertise using testimonials of couples that met and married through the Internet. However, recent court cases have shown that predators can lurk behind the photos and the seemingly innocent profiles on the Websites.

(But for every one of those 'happy couples' there can be at least 10-20 horror stories that dating sites want covered up.)

In February 2006, a 25-year-old BYU student attempted to contact a 14-year-old girl, allegedly for sex, and was surprised to learn that the "girl" was an undercover police officer.

Sgt. Mike Brower, a member of the Utah County Sheriff's office who worked on the case, said incidents of rape occurring through online dating contacts are fairly high in Utah County, but wouldn't give any details on the statistics, saying doing so would be more harmful than helpful.

"I can't give you too many specifics," Brower said. "Basically what it does is educate the perpetrators instead of the public."

Brower attributes the county's high chat-room predation levels to its large population of children and good Internet access. Utah is among the top five states for households with computers and Internet access.

Brower said predators are generally, but not limited to, males from 20 to 60 years old and often have a history of viewing pornography or unlawfully contacting people. (Many are sub-criminal psychopaths or narcissists)

On the preventative side, Utah County has formed a task force that surfs the Internet to ensnare predators.

The officers get involved in chat rooms and see if they are contacted by anyone "predisposed to be talking dirty and wanting sex," Lieutenant Jerry Harper said.

Brower said the police force seeks out predators to protect the public before tragedy can strike.

"We want to get perpetrators before they get victims," Brower said. "We do it to protect the community."

To adults involved in chat rooms and online dating services, Lieutenant Douglas Edwards of the Orem Department of Public Safety said to use common sense.

When meeting someone online, common sense guidelines include meeting in public places and not giving out personal information.

"If it were my daughter, I would tell her not to meet someone online," Edwards said.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE

(kudos to Oneof Seven for this find!)

THE CYBER-LOTHARIO

THE CYBER LOTHARIO
Are you writing to someone who is romancing you off your feet? Does this guy seem to know just what to say or write that gets you a step or two further down the garden path?

Perhaps more dangerous than the notorious Internet rapists and murderers are the Cyber Lotharios. Maybe you know one. Smooth as silk. Seduction is his native language.

More dangerous, because these guys (well, there are girls too, but I am more familiar with the guys) are GOOD.

These guys are the Internet equivalent of a Bill Clinton, if Bill Clinton hadn't gotten caught. They are the cyber version of handsome -- they write beautifully, know just what you want to hear and tell you. They POUR it on, and for a thirsty (abused, lonely, sick, divorced or just unsuspecting) woman, it is nectar from the Gods.

These fellows post on dating/ reunion/ single parents/ penpal sites indefinitely, waiting for the unsuspecting newbie(s) to the site. You might contact him, he might contact you, but like an expert salesman, he knows a pigeon when he sees one.

Then slowly, softly, but determinably, he has his way with you.

How do you tell if you have one of these guys on the wire? What if he is a really nice guy, really meaning every word he says?

Well, one clue would be if you find yourself agreeing to or even doing things that you never would if you were in your right mind. Particularly if that has to do with sex. Or maybe money.

These guys make manipulation feel like a warm bath. They profile you subtley, making it seem like they are "interested" in you and actually "care" about you. (They don't.)

You just slide right in and it feels delicious.

But there is a certain vagueness or inconsistency, particularly about past relationships, and perhaps about future plans. ("I love you but I can't be with you....", "I have decided we can never be together", saying "I love you" before they have met you and spent SUBSTANTIAL TIME with you - and NOT in bed either!)

These guys may reassure, but they also will leave themselves a way out.

How can you tell?
Well, one thing you can do is ask for a relationship history. Then pay attention to how he responds, as well as what he actually says.

Does he groan and moan about doing the job? Is he grudging in what he tells you?

Or is he open and serious, understanding what you are asking and why?

Does he seem to have trouble remembering his own history, what her name was, what order the different relationships came in?

Does he offer some information but leave a LOT of blanks in what he says?

Is he reluctant to divulge, or does he sound like he is fudging?

Or does he hold up one old girlfriend or two as the "one who got away" or the most "incredible sex/ relationship I ever had"? (making you feel inadequate or that you have to DO things you're uncomfortable with to measure up!)

Does he make you feel like Number One; then over time - talk about the other Number Ones who left 'poor' him?

Does he say HE broke it off, then a few weeks or months later say SHE broke it off?

Does he say "I never should have married my wife" (if he admits to being married) or "the divorce is almost final"?

Does he get upset when you say you are going to run a background check on him?

Does he seem to be moving you fast towards a romantic getaway?

Maybe he makes plans for the two of you to meet, and reserves only one room.

Or does he hedge saying he can't control himself and doesn't know if you should meet?

Is he heavily sexually suggestive and titillating? Do most chats turn to sex?

Does he ask questions like "What are you wearing?" or "Are you alone?"

Even though a new and legitimate relationship can be highly sexually charged, a guy who is seriously interested in you and a possible future with you will be protective and understanding of you and your feelings.

If you feel antsy, pay attention. If your hormones may be doing your thinking, put on the brakes. Better to let this dangerous Clark Gable type swim away than to be left flat and busted.


Kathryn Lord - 2004