The Heart of Why We Run This Site

Yes, EOPC took on the Megan Meier/MySpace Suicide case four years ago. Why?

Because it goes right to the heart of why we run this site. Every month we get letters begging us for help or direction from those who have been targeted, seduced, used, lied to & abused and then discarded, stalked, threatened and smeared by people with internet access who think the web is one big anonymous playground. A place where you are faceless & nameless and can do or say anything you want to or about anyone with impugnity.

WRONG!

EOPC does believe that most of these people are pathological. They could be sociopathic, suffering from Destructive Narcissistic Pattern, Borderline, just evil or a combination. The consequences are very real.

The Cyberpath wants to walk away with no consequences. They become enraged when their victims ask for accountability and/or expose them... saying they are "obsessed: and "need to get over it." (scroll down to the comments in this post for an example of what one of our exposed predators said to his victim!)

Sorry, IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. Our victims are ill - often because of the abuse of the cyberpath, divorced, in debt and suffering because of these PREDATORS. In the Meier case - a VULNERABLE 13 YEAR OLD IS DEAD.

Telling helps everyone:
The Victim - Gets the validation they need. No more "get over it" or "move on" or "give it a rest." The Victims have been through trauma that has nothing to do with a simple relationship break up. They have been brainwashed, controlled, manipulated, eviscerated and tossed aside like garbage. And other human beings aren't garbage. This is a perfect example of the lack of regard & empathy the cyberpath/ pathological has for their victim(s)!

The Predator/ Cyberpath - Gets a needed & deserved accountability moment. If they want counseling or help to stop their online behaviors - they can write to us, we will try to help find some help!

We have victims on this site who have attempted suicide, self-harmed, ended up in the hospital and almost all now suffer from some degree of PTSD - which will take years, if ever, to get over. They are NOT drama mamas, over-reacting or 'dwelling' - they are INJURED. Seriously & profoundly psychologically INJURED. And anyone, including therapists or doctors, who tell them to "get on with their lives" and "move on" is re-injuring them!

Telling is a huge step in healing for victims. We agree that outing Lori Drew was the right thing to do.

Society needs to hold adults ACCOUNTABLE. Of course these predators cry "foul" and start a non-stop smear campaign against the victim. The victim was "scorned; its just revenge; the victim is trying to ruin my life/family; the victim is lying/ making it all up; the victim is over-reacting/ crazy/ a nutjob."

And the Lori Drew version: "Give it a rest." (CLICK HERE FOR MORE MALICIOUS MEGAN SMEAR)

CLICK HERE FOR 'DO THEY EVER ADMIT THEY LIED OR TWISTED THE FACTS?'

Mrs. Drew? Megan Meier is now at "REST" for eternity.

The rest of you cyberpaths? Your pathology is showing when you minimize, trivialize or spit on the profound damage you have done to your victims and often their families as well!

While EOPC focuses on Adult-on-Adult Cyberpathy - Megan's predator was an ADULT. An ADULT who targeted, seduced, used, lied to & abused and then discarded and smeared her - and pushed Megan to suicide. Lori Drew KNEW Megan was battling ADD, weight issues and depression - but Drew didn't care.

"I've said some pretty mean things online just typing. I never realized how mean it was. Now there's no way I would do that. I would call people out if they said something like that." - Blaine Buckles

Megan died in 2006 and Lori Drew STILL doesn't care: CLICK HERE FOR LORI'S POLICE ACCOUNT Most of our Cyberpaths DON'T CARE! Some examples:
"It was all just a game" Beckstead

"I'm the victim here; poor me" Langley-Guy

"she's crazy... she was stalking me" Dan Jacoby

"If you loved me you'd stand by my lies & fraud" Nathan Ernest Burl Thomas

"They went in with their eyes wide open" (except he coerced them with lies and his victims had NO CLUE what his true agenda was) - Jeff Dunetz/ YidwithLid

"It's all false - my wives & girlfriends set me up. I am going to sue them all, including Dr. Phil!" Ed Hicks

"all women are whores" Brad Dorsky.

There are links on the right to our stories, where to post your Cyberpath on the web and articles & places to get help.

EOPC calls for Lori Drew and all cyberpaths to be charged with INTENTIONAL INFLICTION OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS.

To any Cyberpaths/ Predators who may be reading this - Click here.

EOPC ALSO CALLS FOR NO VIGILANTE JUSTICE - NO HARASSMENT OR ATTACKING SOMEONE'S PROPERTY.

We are reposting a comment from 2006 we read on one of the many blogs talking about the Megan Meier case for everyone to read. It could be extrapolated and applied to all our victim's cases:
Who is responsible? Everyone is responsible depending upon their ability to influence these events – both before and after. The media was shameful. It was not until the world at large became aware of and outraged by this that anyone local saw fit to take action. Most of that action was cynical damage control. It was window-dressing; more salt in the wound. Predictably, that has enraged the world even more.

All that evil needs to prosper is for good people to do nothing. Evil prospered. It did so, not for a day, a week or even a month. It prospered for more than a year and flourishes still. After that length of time I would say that they 'aided and abetted' this crime by continued failure to act. They aggravate things even further by a studied effort to deny their role in this.

Someone took an action. It caused a death. The local community in question appears to have made ‘littering’ the charge for such cyber-stalking crimes. That is an outrage.

A crime was committed. I am not aware of a single jurisdiction under common law that would not allow a prosecution of some kind for this crime. That the family has had trouble bringing even a civil suit is beyond comprehension. I am sure the larger community will correct that, no matter how hard the local community tries to stop it.

So many entities had some type of duty here. They all failed to do that duty. An adult stalked, SEXUALLY harassed, and drove a child to her death. You heard me right. They stalked her. An adult sexually engaged a child over the Internet. The child subsequently died. The order and temporal proximity of events shows clearly that the child died due to the actions of that adult predator. The perpetrator further harassed the grieving family after the fact. That included making a complaint to the police against the family of the dead child. If this were a movie, it would be hard to swallow the premise it is so outrageous.

I believe that a sense of remorse has an influence on sentencing. When a jury finds this predator guilty, that person’s persistent lack of remorse should inform a sentence sufficiently punitive to act as an effective deterrent. The consensus in the ‘blogosphere’ seems to be that the main perpetrator should go to jail and stay there. I agree. Why allow them to do it again?

What happened here, and then dragged on for so long without a just resolution, did not happen in a vacuum. That entire community sat by and watched this unfold with hardly a whisper of dissent. Arguments about what they could and could not do and what they actually did do only add fuel to the fire. A child is dead. We know who many of the responsible parties are. The most responsible party has admitted at least a portion of their role to the police and there exists a record of this. The entire community is aware of what has happened. Some members of that community have been aware for long enough to prosecute, convict and imprison the main perpetrator. Instead, they did NOTHING. The only official action appears to have been on a complaint AGAINST the grieving family. A child is dead, her family is destroyed and that family has seen NO comfort or redress from their local community. The only penalties extracted from the perpetrators have resulted from the widespread visceral revulsion of the world at large.

This is telling CLICK HERE

As of this writing, the link above allows a search of the St. Charles Chamber of Commerce. You will find them proudly promoting the business of the predator. Search for “Family Savings Magazine” and there they are in all their gory glory. How monstrous is that? Would you do business with members of that Chamber of Commerce? I would not. I wonder what other disgraceful self-serving lies exist on that site?

I am a web professional. I taught networking. I have been a denizen of cyberspace since before the web was born. Friends and family of mine are psychologists and educators in the schools at all levels. I am also the parent of happy healthy young girls approaching the age of the child in question. I have devoted considerable time and had expert help to make our Internet environment a safe one for my kids. I have trained the kids well to protect against such things as happened here. Even MY children could be vulnerable to such a predator. No parent, however well prepared can entirely protect his or her children when a predator attacks. We all have a stake. We must stop these predators on as many fronts as we can.

Of the litany of shameful acts here, perhaps the vilest is the continued vicious assault on the victim and her surviving family. The post-mortem defamation of the murdered child is repulsive. The attempt to make excuses for the predator is shocking. It is inexcusable. Apologists suggest that the parents should have done more. They suggest the child was somehow at fault, or defective. This is false. Any young girl could be vulnerable to such a thing. Any parent, no matter how vigilant, could have been the victim of such an act. By all accounts, the murdered child’s mother did everything in her power to prevent this. She is without blame by any standard of measure. This was a brutal act of sex-related violence on a child. Attempting to minimize or justify this by laying a shred of blame at the feet of the grieving family is disgusting. It is disgusting because it is wrong. It is doubly disgusting because they know it is wrong. It is trebly disgusting that they promote these lies for their own benefit at the expense of the victims. This family has already paid the ultimate price. Every single adult in that entire community should be ashamed that they allow this injustice to continue. Clearly, those blaming the victims are beyond shame. Nothing can redeem them. Perhaps, though, a few others have a sense of shame. They were complicit in making the family no longer able to defend themselves. Will they finally, FINALLY after more than a YEAR, stand and defend this stricken child and her broken family? I will not hold my breath.

What have any of them done to heal this family? It breaks my heart to think of that poor man sitting in his darling daughter’s room alone. I am a father, and I am simply unable to imagine it fully. My mind will not allow itself to go there. Without aid, he will likely come to even further harm. What has the community done about this? All that seems to come from that community is more self-serving excuses. They have not even the human decency to apologize. I challenge the other fathers in that community to reach out and help that grieving father. I challenge the mothers in that community to reach out and help that grieving mother. I challenge clergy, social workers and other ‘helping professions’ to reach out and help heal what is left of that shattered family. I challenge that community to stand up, take care of its own and show a little backbone and dignity to the world outside their doors.

Apologists seem to think that it was to be expected. It was not.
They seem to expect it to happen again. It should not.
They feel no sense that they should even TRY to prevent it in the future. Any future event like this is doubly on their heads.

• Who allows an adult to stalk a child and drive them to their death?
• Who deals with such an event after the fact by attempting to minimize their responsibility?
• Who, when subjected to public scrutiny for such disgrace, attempts to escape by trying to vilify and further injure the victims? We are talking about a dead CHILD here.
• What kind of monster attempts to blame a child for her own murder at the hands of a predatory adult? It is disturbing to see someone attempt to gain a tiny advantage when it comes at a great expense from another.

Surely, there must be SOMEONE with moral courage in that community. If they exist, they should champion real action to right this wrong and prevent it in the future.

Here is a hint: Step number one would be to FINALLY admit that it was wrong and accept your share of responsibility. Most would have been unaware before the fact, in the days, weeks, or even months (!) after the fact. Can anyone in that community claim to be unaware NOW?

Proposing to make a similar thing a misdemeanor insults the memory of this child and shames the community all the more. The sex-related murder of a child is not a misdemeanor. Claiming that they, meantime, cannot prosecute the existing murderer is just smarmy damage control. It does not play well with me. I doubt it plays well with anyone in the rest of the world either. I pray for the sake of that community that it sounds discordant to at least a few of those that reside there.

The people there that are responsible for law enforcement lack the skill and moral rectitude to make this right. They have amply demonstrated that. The community should replace them. They should do so before anyone else gets hurt. These incumbents can do nothing about the sex-related homicide of a child. They are not likely much use for anything else. Get rid of them right now. Whoever was sitting at those desks are plainly not as good as empty desks. Even if you do not replace them, you will be better off.

Precious few in that community seem to have any moral compass. Perhaps they can take a hint from the torrent of outrage in the larger community. What happened was wrong both during and after the fact. It continues to be wrong now. Each day they fail to act takes them further in the wrong direction.

I pray that everyone in that community with a shred of decency will DEMAND that this be resolved respectably and that they will back their demands by action.

The furor will die down, but some have indelibly etched their shame on the memory of the Internet. Anyone with the name of that community attached to their names should be able to point to effective action they have taken to correct this injustice. Otherwise, they will carry this stain with them forever. Making amends at some point is better than doing nothing. However, the longer they continue to deny their part and fail to act, the harder it will be to cleanse them of shame.

Good luck with that.

My heart goes out to that family. What happened to them is the unthinkable. They deserve help and healing. Fortunately, they have an enormous ‘mind-share’ in the world now. They can use it to get aid, even if the local community continues to resist it. Literally millions of people are aware of this now. I can find no credible evidence of anyone in the real world that does not see the mother, father and child here as blameless victims. For their daughter’s memory, I hope that mother and father can find the strength to heal and carry on. It would be the best way to honor their daughter’s memory and keep it alive.

As trite as it sounds, true healing cannot happen without forgiveness. The entire community of perpetrators does not deserve forgiveness. They are beneath it. However, the family deserves the healing they will get by taking the moral high ground ...That goes for thee and me. This is not a call for the mob to descend. It is not a call for revenge. It is a call for justice to aid in the healing. Justice helps us to forgive...

Justice calls for punishment that acts as a deterrent and sends a message. What happened was very wrong. We should acknowledge that with vigor. However, vengeance, per se, is an empty thing. It always does more harm than good. I hope the family will try to turn their hearts away from thoughts of revenge. No action they can take will be mightier than the storm that swirls around the villains now. All of those creepy people were nearly as diminished as creatures could be before this began. The people in that community that turned their backs on the injured family will not likely give comfort to the perpetrators and their supporters. They all began small, went down from there and the world diminished them even further. They are just so many insects now. There is no comfort to get from these miserable creatures. Let justice take its course, if it will. The family should cast attention to healing and honoring the memory of their beautiful child.

The world would be a better place if the people in that community were to make amends through action. That action should show genuine contrition for (to be charitable) a job poorly done. As huge a tidal shift as such a thing is, I sincerely hope that the mother and father can find forgiveness in their heart for one another and heal the rift in their marriage. They will not find more than a decade of shared love and care for their beautiful child with any other partner. They owe themselves and each other a second chance.

Finally, though it might seem that such a thing is beyond the power of prayer, I say a prayer for the mother, the father and the child and I hope anyone reading this will join me in that. Even if you do not believe in the power of prayer, the gesture has meaning

POSTED BY DEEPNORTH at BLUEMERLE

As of this writing, Lori Drew's conviction was overturned and she is free in the community!! If anyone has any more updates - please let us know.


SOME PEOPLE ARE BORN EVIL

Cyber-Harassment Trial Found No Proof of 'Emotional Distress'

Your thoughts, readers? -- EOPC

by Shane Anthony

Jurors who acquitted a St. Peters woman in a cyber-harassment case said prosecutors failed to prove a 17-year-old girl suffered emotional distress when the woman posted her information in a sexually suggestive Craigslist ad.

On Thursday, the jury of seven women and five men found Elizabeth Thrasher, 41, not guilty of felony harassment for making the post after she and the teenager exchanged a series of insults on MySpace. Attorneys said this was the first case to go to trial since the state Legislature passed a cyber-harassment law in 2008 in the wake of Dardenne Prairie teenager Megan Meier's suicide.

Jury foreman John Seifert said Friday that all the jurors believed the state had proven all but one element of its case against Thrasher — that the girl had suffered emotional distress.

"We really felt for her," Seifert said. "She made this claim, but we felt like there wasn't any evidence that supported the claim."

The state was required to prove seven elements of the crime. Juror Christine Cundiff said jurors agreed unanimously that prosecutors proved six. But they didn't believe the girl's testimony was proof enough that she had suffered emotional distress, she said.

"We felt the charge of a felony was extremely serious to send someone to prison when we were not 100 percent guilty on all seven (elements)," Cundiff said.

The spat between Thrasher and the girl erupted on May 1, 2009. Thrasher had a conflict with the girl's mother, who was dating Thrasher's ex-husband.

After the two exchanged insults over MySpace, Thrasher used information from the girl's MySpace account to create a sexually suggestive Craigslist ad under the "Casual Encounters" section. The posting featured the girl's photos, cell phone number, e-mail address and the restaurant where she worked.

The girl testified that after the Craigslist post, she started receiving text messages, pictures and phone calls from men. One came to the restaurant looking for her and was asked to leave by the manager, she said.

The girl said she eventually quit her job. She testified she was afraid of being raped and killed.

Prosecutors also called two police investigators to testify, but jurors said they wanted to hear from someone else who could corroborate the girl's testimony about distress.

"Anybody that could have taken the stand and said this is what I've noticed about the young lady," Seifert said.

St. Charles County Prosecutor Jack Banas said he had not thought other witnesses were needed. (note: Banas was the Prosecutor in the Megan Meier case.)

"We didn't feel it was necessary to go on any further to prove what comes out of her mouth based on the assumption that most people would be distressed to have their personal information put on Craigslist," he said.

Thrasher's attorney, Mike Kielty, said the law is flawed.

"It criminalizes behavior that, but for the medium, wouldn't be criminal."

original article here

Find the Facts Out About Them

(Florida, USA) Karen Berry got into private investigation the hard way: Somebody was stalking her, and she decided to take matters into her own capable hands. The 25-year Sunrise resident was working as property manager for a condo in Davie in the early '90s, living alone while her military husband was overseas serving in Desert Storm. One of the condo residents took a dislike to her when the association started pursuing him to pay late maintenance fees.

"I was the closest person handy," she says, "because my condo was near his. He threatened to kill me, he flattened my tires, he had my car stolen, he even hired somebody to shoot a gun near me. He was very open about it. He would leave voice mails saying he was gonna get me."

Berry decided she wanted to get him first. "I worked for a company called Record Search, so I started looking into him. I found out he had a violent past and a prior record for marijuana possession. I found 15 police reports on the guy."

Eventually, Berry's work helped put her stalker away for three years.

Now, almost two decades later, after doing investigative work for a series of companies, she has founded her own investigation company, Berry WorldWide, which takes a decidedly softer bent: Berry helps find old flames. The ones that got away. The guy you dated a few times before you shipped off to college and just couldn't forget. The grade-school sweetheart who was really meant for you.

Isn't this just a kinder, gentler form of stalking? "I always call the person being searched for once I find them," Berry says. "I tell them who I am and what I'm doing. I ask their permission to divulge their phone number or location." So far, not a single person has refused to be found. And several of the ten couples she has reunited so far are pursuing serious relationships.

As for us, we tracked down Berry through Facebook, which itself raised another question. With social media networks gobbling up the internet, aren't sites like Classmates, Facebook, MySpace, and others cutting into her profits?

Not really. "Sometimes people just don't have time to do their own searches," Berry says, "or they don't really know how to go about it. Or sometimes women change their names if they've gotten married."

Berry charges an extremely reasonable $40 for a basic search. "Most people can be found very easily; it's not like I have to do any intensive investigative research. I don't feel like I should gouge anybody because with the databases I have available, it doesn't cost me a whole lot."

Berry, who suffers from Lymphedema, moved to Pittsburgh two weeks ago to be closer to a friend who's a trauma nurse. And she's still married to the guy who came home from Desert Storm. "He takes good care of me, and I love this business," she says. "Plus, I get to work in my pajamas."

Connecticut, USA Says Online Dating is Dangerous

Anyone looking for love online knows that the person on the other end of an online connection might not be who he or she says they are.

In Connecticut, this is becoming a political issue.

While most of the 20 million people who use online dating services are looking for a relationship, there are other cases where women have been sexual assaulted or scammed.

It is to prevent this that State Rep. Mae Flexer, a Democrat representing Killingly, Plainfield and Sterling [counties], introduced her bill.

“Sexual predators now have a new tool to find victims — internet dating websites,” Flexer told the General Law Committee on Tuesday. “We have a responsibility as lawmakers to amend our laws to reflect technological changes and protect our citizens.”

Flexer’s bill that would require online dating sites that charge fees to provide safety tips and advice to make dating, online and off, safer.

“Currently, one in five Connecticut residents has experienced sexual assault. My bill is a sensible solution to inform potential customers of the risks involved with using these sites and help protect women,” Flexer said.

She is asking for advice including:

• Don't put your last name, e-mail address, home address, phone number, place of work, photo or any other identifying information in your Internet [Facebook] profile or initial e-mail messages.
• If someone pressures you for personal or financial information or attempts in any way to trick you into revealing it, end the communication.
• When you plan to meet face-to-face, always tell someone in your family or a friend where you are going and when you will return.
• Never agree to be picked up at your home. Always provide your own transportation to and from your date and meet in a public place with several people around.

Flexer’s bill, if approved, Connecticut would become the third state to regulate internet dating sites, after New York and New Jersey.

The General Law Committee will vote on the bill in the coming weeks.

original article here

EXPOSING THEM - CREATIVELY

"I remember thinking - the internet got me into this mess with this [cyberpath] and now the internet is going to get me out."

- openly available information is out there for sure!

We found websites started by people wishing to out THEIR predator, cheater or cyberpath. We commend every one of these people for being brave enough to put their stories out there to make sure these predators don't do it to someone else.

Some of these people listed have been covered by our site, some have not. Nonetheless, they have our support! - Fighter

Creativity can be a blessing when healing from a predator, user and/or abuser:
click below to go to some of the sites made in their "honor":

DIANA MEDINA

WILLIAM BARBER

BEATRICE M. ACEVEDO

SAMMY BENOIT / JEFF DUNETZ/ YIDWITHLID

MARK GRANIERI

JOSEPH A. CAFASSO

JASON CAPOZELLO

GARETH RODGER

There's more on the right of this site under VICTIMS FIGHT BACK!

Here's just a couple recommended sites that expose cyberpaths & abusers in order to educate the public about the M.O. and patterns of these predators (see full list at right):

FILTHY LIAR

LIAR LIAR LIST


(see our right margin for more sites to expose them. Maybe they will get help for their behavior and not harm others.

EXAMPLES OF PREDATORS WE'VE DONE (or are about to do)- EXPOSED ON OTHER SITES:

Dan Jacoby
one
two

Jeff Dunetz/ Gridney/ Yidwithlid
one
two

Nathan Ernest Burl Thomas, Jr.
one
two

Remember: You are only as sick as your secrets. Telling can put YOU on the road to healing.)

Breakup Notifier

Waiting for that special someone to break up so you can move in?

Now you can get an email telling you when it's time start wooing.

A new site called Breakup Notifier lets you log in using your Facebook account, choose who you're interested in and then sends you an email when their relationship status changes.

"You like someone. They're in a relationship. Be the first to know when they're out of it," the site says.

In other words, forget about constantly refreshing a Facebook profile with the hope that the relationship status is about to change.

The idea came from the founder's efforts to find the perfect guy for his fiancee's sister. Dan Loewenherz, his fiancee and his mother found the right guy on Facebook only to learn that he was in a relationship.

So Loewenherz spent four hours coming up with Breakup Notifier, TechCrunch.com reported.

Breakup Notifier crawls Facebook every 10 minutes.

The site is now free but Loewenherz may charge .99 cents for early adopters and $4.99 at some point in the future, TechCrunch reported.

original post here

Online Dating Sites Sued for Fraud

Are Yahoo and Match.com bolstering their online dating services with fake ads and professional flirts?

Two lawsuits filed in California recently make such bold claims, separately accusing both firms of fraud.

Match.com says the claims are baseless; Yahoo didn't immediately respond to requests for comment.

In the Match.com case, Orange County, Calif. resident Matthew Evans accuses the site of having a "very dirty, very big secret."

"Not everyone that you meet on Match.com is just another Match.com member, " the lawsuit says. "They are Match.com employees with a secret, fraudulent mission."

Evans claims Match uses "date bait" - employees who pretend to be regular subscribers that flirt with members. The lawsuit claims online daters are often approached by date bait just as their subscriptions are about to expire. Victims receive "winks" and e-mails designed to trick them into renewing their membership, the suit alleges.

Evans also claims in the lawsuit that Match.com employees are required to go on "as many as 100 dates per month," and they are "stationed in most of the major U.S. cities."

Match.com spokeswoman Kristin Kelly called the lawsuit "completely without merit." The firm doesn't send automated winks, she said, and employees are not required to date members. Match.com has about 250 employees worldwide, and 15 million members, making the date bait claim "ridiculous."

"The allegations in this case have absolutely no basis in fact and are completely without merit," she said.

The complaint was filed Nov. 10 in U.S. District Court in Northern California.

In the Yahoo case, filed on Oct. 14, Robert Anthony of Broward County, Fla., accuses the firm of creating fake profiles to keep members interested. Yahoo, the lawsuit alleges, "deliberately and intentionally originates and perpetuates false and or nonexistent profiles on its site to generate interest ... and give the site a much more attractive and functional appearance in order to falsely represent more substantial participation than actually exists."

The lawsuit supplies few other details, however.

"Due to the complicated nature of the fraud, and the use of technology to pertpetrate the fraud, Anthony is unable to disclose all of the examples of fraud," it says.

Anthony's lawyer, Peter McNulty, didn't respond to phone calls requesting comment.

Both lawsuits seek class-action status.

'Black hole'
Mike Arias, Evans' lawyer in the Match.com case, said his client learned about the alleged practices directly from a Match.com employee he dated. Arias said he has no other plaintiffs in the case at the moment, but that he's spoken to other victims and lawyers investigating Match.com practices.

"We've investigated it enough we (to believe the allegations)," he said. "I've talked to enough people who have given me scenarios."

The lawsuit also claims that paid Match.com workers read member e-mails in order to be more seductive to members they contact.

"Match.com typically has their paid employee contact a subscriber immediately before the end of their subscription," it says. "(The employee) goes on a date with a subscriber, (and) gives the deceptive appearance of having a lot in common with the subscriber due in part to having read his or her e-mails."

Match.com's Kelly said employees are allowed to use the service, but are not told to date members.

Evans' lawsuit also claims that a flaw in Match.com technology prevents profiles older than 30 days from appearing in some searches the Web site offers. "Unless a person updates their profile, they fall into a 'black hole' of outdated profiles, never to be seen by any other person on Match again," the suit says.

Online dating is big business; for a time, it was the fastest-growing e-commerce sector. But the industry has always beaten back complaints about fraud and misrepresentation among members. Two years ago, an MSNBC.com investigation revealed a high percentage of ads on several sites were thinly veiled lures to paid porn Web sites. More recently, Nigerian scammers have seized on the services, frequently placing fake ads that lure victims into feigned relationships ultimately designed to trick them into sending large sums of money to criminals outside the U.S.

There have been accusations that dating services benefit from such practices, because if more attractive, young members appear to be using the service, that draws in more paid members.

"That is ridiculous," Kelly said. "We aggressively defend against fraud and proactively pursue it through our fraud and abuse team."

(from 2005)

Secret bait claims hit dating website

A TOP internet dating website has been accused of secretly hiring people as "date bait" to go out with some of their one million customers so they would keep paying for the service.

The lonely hearts website Match.com secretly recruited people to send enticing emails to its customers and to go out on dates with them as a way of getting them to keep up their $41 monthly subscription, a Los Angeles racketeering lawsuit said.

The company's ring-ins, branded "date bait", went on up to 100 dates a month -- three per day -- with Match.com customers, who use the site to search for boyfriends, girlfriends and spouses.

"Hiding behind Match.com's portrait of online success is a very big, very dirty secret . . . Not everyone you meet and date through Match.com is just another Match.com member," says the lawsuit.

Kristin Kelly, a spokesperson for Match.com, which has an estimated one million paid subscribers and 15 million members, said the lawsuit was completely without merit and would be vigorously challenged.

The lawsuit was filed by Matthew Evans, a Match.com customer who hopes it will draw support from enough other customers to turn into a much stronger class action suit.

Mr Evans' lawyers said he went on several dates with an attractive woman named Autumn Marzec before she allegedly confessed she was paid by the company to meet him.

Such people are given access to customers' emails to familiarise themselves with the customer, allowing them to feign interest and compatibility, the suit claims.

The worker goes on a date with the subscriber and acts as if they have a lot in common so the subscriber re-signs.

The suit also charges that when a customer's subscription was expiring, Match.com produced fake responses to customers, suggesting another person had an interest in meeting them in order to prod them to resubscribe.

The suit represents growing reports of disappointment among the tens of millions of customers of the online matchmaking industry.

The industry enjoyed an estimated $334 million in turnover during the first half of 2005. - AFP
*****

Leading online matchmaker sued for bogus dating scam

Match.com, one of the top Internet dating websites, has been accused of hiring people as "date bait" to date some of their one million customers to encourage them to keep paying for the service.

A Los Angeles racketeering lawsuit said the lonely hearts website secretly recruited people to send enticing emails to its customers and to go out on dates with them as a way of getting them to keep up their 30 dollars monthly subscription.

The company's ringers, branded "date bait", went on as many as 100 dates a month - three per day - with Match.com customers, who use the site to search for boyfriends, girlfriends, and possible husbands and wives. "Hiding behind Match.com's portrait of online success is a very big, very dirty secret ... Not everyone you meet and date through Match.com is just another Match.com member," said the lawsuit, filed in a Los Angeles court on November 10.

Kristin Kelly, a spokesperson for Match.com - which has an estimated one million paid subscribers and 15 million members — denied the charges, saying the lawsuit is "completely without merit" and would be "vigorously" challenged. The lawsuit was filed by Matthew Evans, a Match.com customer who hopes it will draw support from enough other customers to turn into a much stronger class action suit.

Evan's lawyers said he went on several dates with an attractive woman named Autumn Marzec before she allegedly confessed that she was paid by the company to meet him. Such ringers are given access to customers' emails to familiarize themselves with the customer, allowing them to feign interest and compatibility, the suit claimed. "The paid Match.com employee then goes on a date with the subscriber, gives the deceptive appearance of having a lot in common with the subscriber ... with the intent of luring the subscriber into re-signing with Match.com," the suit alleges.

The suit charges as well that when a customer's subscription was expiring, Match.com produced fake responses to customers, suggesting another person had an interest in meeting them, in order to prod them to resubscribe. The Los Angeles suit represented growing reports of disappointment among the tens of millions of customers of the online matchmaking industry, which is led by Yahoo! Personals, Match.com, and EHarmony.

The industry enjoyed an estimated 245 million dollars in turnover during the first half of 2005. While the industry advertises its success stories - customers who meet online and eventually get married - some disappointments have raised questions of industry practices. Earlier this year Californian James Hunt complained that for the nearly 3,000 dollars he paid to matchmaker Together Inc., he didn't receive the guaranteed nine introductions of "nearly compatible" women. The company disputed his claim.

In New York, the Great Expectations dating service was recently ordered by a judge to refund money to two women who said they never got any dates after paying up to $1,000 for a six month subscription. "I just wanted to go out for coffee and have nice conversations with a couple of people. Instead, I got not a single introduction," said a disappointed 43 year old who identified herself only as Jennifer. "I think I’ll stick to meeting people at bus stops and the elevator," she said.
*****

Better to have loved and lost, even on the internet

A quick look at any online dating site will tell you that everyone is lying

The online dating world has been rocked by claims in Los Angeles that dating companies have been paying women to go on sham dates with male subscribers to make the men think the site is generating results and thus renew their membership fees.

A man in his thirties who signed up to www.match.com, a web dating service that claims 12 per cent of American weddings began with an online introduction has launched a lawsuit accusing the company offraud. He claims to be the victim of a scam he discovered after a "buxom, dark-haired, younger woman" that he had taken on several dates confessed to having been paid to make contact with up to 100 members a month.

More complaints and revealing comments on Online Dating, click on the site name(s)

:

Mate 1

EHarmony and Cupid.com

Adult Friend Finder

True

Yahoo Personals

These are just a few! BEWARE!!!

CyberStalked After Reunion on Facebook

By Rob Wolchek

A man says he's been stalked for the last year. His life has been threatened, his four-year-old daughter has been threatened; his mother, too.

He says it all started when a girl he went to school with 25 years ago friended him on Facebook.

Kevin had no idea when he clicked his mouse and friended Lisa that she had an ex-boyfriend with a criminal past.

original article here

Sounds like how our exposed predator - Jeff Dunetz aka YidwithLid - found his Target #1 (via Classmates.com) and harassed & threatened her when she told the truth about him.

Internet Fraud Dupes Men More Often Than Women

by Robert McMillan

When it comes to being taken in by Internet fraudsters, men have a knack for losing cash, according to a new report from the Internet Crime Complaint Center.

Data compiled from more than 206,000 complaints received last year by the U.S. Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3.gov) shows that men lost US$1.67 to every $1 lost by women in online fraud.

Identifying Fraud Trends
The IC3 is the clearinghouse for online crime complaints in the U.S., and its database is used by regulators and law enforcement to get a picture of criminal trends and, in some cases, help hunt down the criminals. It is a joint effort run by the U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation and the National White Collar Crime Center.

The organization says that buying patterns and human nature play into the findings.

"Historically men were more apt to purchase large ticket item like electronics... that could explain a lot of it," said John Kane, the IC3 research manager who wrote the report.

But with women now spending more online, the difference is also due to the fact that certain types of schemes seem to suck men in. "Men tend to fall victim... to business investment schemes and some other schemes that have a higher dollar loss," Kane said.

Investment fraud complaints, where the average loss is more than $3,500, were overwhelmingly submitted by men, Kane said. Compare that to something like auction fraud, where both men and women are frequently victimized. The average loss there is just over $480.

Men also tend to be the victims of check fraud (average loss: $3,000) and Nigerian letter fraud scams ($2,000), Kane said.
Crime Climbs

Overall, Internet crime is netting the bad guys more money than ever.

Total losses from 2007 complaints came to $239 million, up $40 million from 2006.

The 2007 data, released Thursday, shows that the total number of complaints received by the group was actually down for the second year in a row. In 2007 the IC3 Web site logged just under 207,000 complaints. In 2005 that number was over 231,000.

Kane credited the drop in complaints to increased consumer awareness, but according to Gary Warner, director of research in computer forensics with the University of Alabama at Birmingham, there may be another explanation.

Warner spends a lot of time studying the criminals and said that in recent months, researchers have noticed that credit card numbers have often been stolen and then not used. "One theory is that nobody wants to go to jail for stealing $40," he said. "So when they get access to these accounts, they're using only the ones that they can get the most value from."

Often, criminals will do a balance check and then sell only the cards with the highest balances. "I think there's a little bit of filtering on the criminal side that's at play here," he said.

There was another interesting finding in the 2007 data. The IC3 found that many countries that were commonly linked with cybercrime were the sources of the incidents it tracked, but it did not list China as a top source of perpetrators. China has been named as the source of many online attacks over the past year, but it didn't make IC3's list of top 10 countries by perpetrators.

Leading the list were the U.S., the United Kingdom and Nigeria.

SOURCE

An Internet Affair --- AGAIN?

Dear Dr. Bob,

I have been married for 10 months now. I met my wife playing spades on the internet then we started talking on the phone for hours and hours until I left CA. and moved to TN. with her

we have a good relationship but now she spends so much time on the internet thats making me worried and i don't like it when she talks in IM's to strange guys or gets too close online with them. What should I do? the only thing we fight about is that Iasked her many times not to get close to guys on the spades games and she tells me i'm being jealous she hides her computer so i can't see what she is doing on their.

All i hear is her typing on it in games you click the mouse not type as much as she does she was under her screen name on my computer so i looked at her mail i saw something thats is bugging me very much i saw that she had been talking to this guy and was telling him that she was going to call him when i go to work what should i do?

My response:

As Yogi Berra once said, "This must seem like deja vu all over again." It certainly appears that her behavior now on the net finds some parallels with how your relationship with her started? And, of course, you have a right to be concerned - here she goes again!

You describe behavior that could be labeled "addictive." Her focal point becomes these relationships that generate excitement, intrigue and fantasies? She seemingly can't keep her fingers off the keyboard? Other parts of her life take a back seat? And, she denies that she has a problem or minimizes her activities - she's not doing anything wrong!

Please understand that usually, beneath this minimization, are some guilt and shame and a part of her that is truly looking for something else. And, you want her to find that "something else" with you… not in a series of net/phone "romances."

Confronting, pleading and arguing won't work. She will resist, retreat to her keyboard and you will feel increasingly frustrated and alone.

I suggest you start with a tactic I call, "problemize." Periodically make comments about the problem(s) you see. MAKE SURE you use words, tone of voice and body language that convey acceptance, concern and lack a tone of judgment, condemnation or a sense of superiority.

For example: "Does it ever seem to you that you are going through the same thing now as when you first met me?" "Do you ever stop to think what impact your net/phone relationships will have on our relationship?" "Do you ever think there is more to life than meeting someone on the net?" "You must get a 'high' out of these relationships?" "I wonder what you are REALLY looking for?" "I wonder what I eventually will do with this." "I wonder if you will always be looking?"

Get the idea? Leave a question in your voice. Open the door for her to talk and explore. This is your first step. If, over time, her actions persist, begin to think about what you are willing to tolerate and what actions you may need to take. But, first, "problemize" and see where that goes.

Voyeurs 'Held ' After Filmed Men getting Changed at Leisure Centre

Two men have been arrested over claims they secretly recorded men getting changed at a leisure centre and then put the footage on a gay website.

Up to 28 men are believed to have been filmed in various states of undress at the FX Leisure Centre in Gateshead.

Existence of the footage only came to light when one of the men said to have been taped as he changed at the gym saw pictures of himself on a gay website.

Two men have been arrested after allegations that men getting changed at a leisure centre were secretly filmed. The footage is then said to have been posted on a gay website

The businessman contacted the club's management and police after seeing footage of himsself, according to the Daily Mirror, and two men were then arrested.

A staff member at FX Leisure Centre told the newspaper the man ‘thought it was a joke at first but then realised he had been filmed in the changing room’.

‘He went straight to the club management to complain. Some of the members are not too happy about their manhood making an unwanted guest appearance on a gay website.’

A spokesperson for Northumbria Police confirmed: ‘A 30-year-old man and a 34-year-old man were arrested on suspicion of voyeurism and have been bailed.'

Officials at the Gateshead leisure centre have declined to comment on the police investigation.

original article here

The Downside of Telling A Cyberpath's Spouse/ Partner

While exposing a predator (or any cheater/ liar for that matter) can give YOU conceptual closure, bear the following things in mind while you plan how to do it:

What if the partner/spouse/job doesn't believe you.... but believes the lies and revisionist history of THE PREDATOR!!

• You could lose your job
• You could be accused of harassment or stalking
• You could be accused of a vendetta against the predator
• You could get a cease & desist order and/or Restraining Order filed against you
  

This is what the partner MIGHT do:

Tell YOU to stop pursuing their partner;

that the predator had told them what a nut you are,

your attentions were not welcome and please stop trying to come between their relationship and/or start trouble in their family

Even if you can produce emails, instant message transcripts, letters, gifts, photos, etc as proof of the relationship. This is what might happen:

the partner/job can say they prove nothing. Predators are VERY GOOD LIARS & TALKERS!! Even if you have source codes saved on instant messages and emails... they can still tell themselves YOU MADE IT ALL UP. (however these are great things to have if you need to go to law enforcement for any reason - and make sure law enforcement makes a REPORT and ASK FOR A COPY OF THIS REPORT)

The Predator will also say YOU MADE IT ALL UP... or PLANTED IT...

And their partner can say "So what? I don't even have any way of knowing that what you are showing me really came from him/her. Maybe YOU planted them!" ...

The partner and the predator often call the police and make YOU out to be the bad one/stalker, etc. (or threaten to)

If there are other targets involved, rest assured the predator has ALREADY planted seeds in their brain saying:

• YOU are crazy
• YOU are obsessed with them
• YOU are just a 'scorned woman' or 'psycho ex'
• THE PREDATOR is/was just being nice to you - that's ALL
• YOU started the relationship
• YOU are mentally ill
• THE PREDATOR will blame your divorce/ breakups on the "fact" that YOU are imbalanced and none of your exes can stand being around you
• THE PREDATOR will blame any disability, illness on something else -- such as calling you "lazy" or "fat" or "old" or "desperate for attention" or a "welfare cheat" and so on...
  
• YOU are the predator here, not them!
• YOU invented everything
• YOU are trying to hurt their relationship(s) because you are jealous

Of course they have been so thorough by the time you come on the picture with the truth - you are primed to appear the fool and your words have already been sprayed with the smell of fiction.

Predators are VERY convincing liars and can spin a tale or explanation so convincing that even if you don't totally believe it, you think you're crazy for doubting it because they said it with ABSOLUTE CONVICTION (cyberpaths often believe their own lies, since they are a type of sociopath - and behave the same way)

CLICK HERE FOR ANOTHER INFORMATIVE ARTICLE ABOUT THIS PROCESS

It is easy to believe because the partner/other targets WANT to believe... it's part of their manipulation & seduction. No one really wants to admit they've been used, cheated on, lied to, manipulated and disregarded and your entire relationship was fake, would you? Now think about if you were the spouse/ partner/ or other relationship....

It's easier to believe, even if the predator was caught red handed, that it's an isolated incident and will never happen again. Predators will often make all sorts of "shows" of accountability to save face with the family. Therapy, installing software for the partner, buying a new computer for the partner, etc etc. --- and believe us it IS all SHOW! Don't believe for a second that as soon as their partner calms down and they are sure their excuses have been 'swallowed whole' they will GO RIGHT BACK to things and trolling for new victims.

Denial often beats out the pain of realizing what the horrible truth really is or facing divorce or the dissolution of a family or partnership.


By the way? The cyberpath will FULLY EMBRACE the NO CONTACT rules laid down by their clueless partner, therapist, clergy or other targets. That means they will disappear on you - probably forever. Not having YOU and THE TRUTH in the picture makes it INFINITELY easier for them to spin their web of lies & deceit to those desperate to believe it. (While it usually sends your PTSD into high gear)

If they REALLY are sorry? They would TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH as well as sit down and give you face to face meetings - with WITNESSES.

And they would reframe their relationships with their partners, you and everyone else and allow for healing and truth across the board.

But don't hold your breath.

After a while, when you have been lied to non-stop by a predator nothing makes any sense any more and you have no real idea of how healthy people function, how normal relationships work, and what is and is not acceptable behavior.


Reality and normalcy really no longer exist after a long enough period of time living with a Narcissistic type psychopath, cyberpath & predator. How many times have you seen people on TV whose spouses or partners were arrested and they say "we have been together for 20 years and I HAD NO IDEA!!" We bet they DID have an idea but buried it.

When approaching a partner/other targets about the predator/cyberpath (or one of their friends and associates), you must remember that it makes perfect, logical sense to YOU, but to THEM, either nothing has made sense for SO long OR.... they have been fed so many lies and twists and become so bonded to the predator that there is no way on this earth that you can expect a reasonable, proportionate reaction to anything you have to say or tell them.

CLICK HERE FOR A GREAT ARTICLE ABOUT OTHERS "NOT GETTING IT"

The associates, friends & partners of predators, cyberpaths, narcissists, psychopaths have been so brainwashed and reprogrammed that all reason goes out the figurative window.

These predatory types are very good at covering their bases, asses, and tracks. NEVER for an instant forget that. They plan for things we wouldn't even think of because we are basically honest people that don't need to hide things.

There are none so blind as those that will not see.

Think about it... now, from your standpoint, if someone showed you pictures of your partner's vehicle, with the plates in clear view and them getting into the car near something that definitely IDs it as someone else's residence, and then they claimed they were never there, you'd laugh in their face, right? Of course you would.

Because you're OUT of the relationship with that predator or liar and things make sense again. --- But what would you have done at the time? Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

That said, Telling the Truth is the best and strongest option. But choose how you want to do it. (see links at the right where Victims Speak Out about the smear the predator tells about them!)

Back up your plan and be ready for the above scenario. There are sites that deal with this sort of thing. Have hard & fast proof. Don't embellish. And be ready for the reaction.... whatever that may be.

This should NOT be revenge but it can be empowering, conceptual closure and a step towards your healing.

(Recommended reading: WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS by Sandra Brown, MA for a fuller view of this dynamic and its effects)

"SEDUCING WOMEN ONLINE"

(most of the first part of this post is a joke - poking fun at sites that instruct men (and women) how to seduce people online. However - many a truth is said in jest - and we felt it instructional for our readers. And enjoy a little tongue-in-cheek levity! - EOPC)

I was surfing the World Wide Web, and I came across some websites charging guys for advice on how to seduce women online. I thought this was not right. I probably know more about the subject then they do, so I decided to write an article on it. Also, just like a fat drugged stripper I am giving it up for free.

What should a guy do after he gets a woman's e-mail address?
I like to send my online ladies anonymous emails advertising new and improved drugs for STDs, and wait and see if they respond. You can never be too safe. There is one thing you should learn about women. They love constant attention. Since you are talking to her online you should probably give her double the attention. That means a constant stream of emails. Probably 5 or 6 a day. Each day increase your tone of urgency, and decrease the accuracy of your spelling and grammar. This lets her know you are a passionate person, and women love passion. Remember you want to be the only thing on her mind so flood that mailbox. (this sounds horrifically like every cyberpath we've profiled so far!)

What should I say in my first message to her?
It is always good to start with some sort of joke. Usually one belittling a minority ethnic group will work.

Once you have broken the ice with the joke, make the message as personal as possible. Women love guys that open up. I suggest just opening up the dam right away, and letting loose with all your personal baggage. Let her know your insecurities, and freakiest desires. Tell her how often you masturbate. If you have had homoerotic fantasies, now is the time to let her know. She will be very impressed with your openness and immediately recognize the connection you just made with her.

Do not bother asking her about the minor details of her life. Instead, dive right into its most personal aspects. Ask her if she was molested as a child. To show her you care about her, question her mental health. Ask her if she has any suicidal thoughts or tendencies. After a deep message like this, your bond with her should be rock solid.

What if she doesn't respond to him?
Ahh she enjoys the chase huh. The old cat and mouse game. If she does not respond, she obviously requires more overt displays of affection and passion. Write her professing your undying love and commitment to her. Tell her you cannot live with out her. Tell her your passion is so great that her not responding to you makes you want to do her harm. Women love that. It lets them know that you care, and that you are a man of action. (funny yes - but threats of harm can land you in jail!)

What if she threatens to call the police?
Oh, she is a feisty little minx. Do not be deterred by Johnny Law. All women believe that love will conquer all, and this is just a test to see if you have the drive to land her. Tell her that no law either god's or man's can keep you from her. Tell her that you relish every obstacle in the way, because it only deepens your desire and love for her. Beg her to get a restraining order, because that will show you that you mean something to her. (Unfortunately, for an online sociopath - this last line is often true)

What should a guy do when she asks to see a picture?
Women do not expect you to give them an actual picture of yourself. Just search the Internet for a picture of some male model and send her that. Don't worry about her getting the wrong idea. Women just want to see how resourceful you are.

What if she isn't attractive in her picture?
Relax bud. It is pretty well established rule that women are much, much better looking in person than they are in their Internet pictures. If she looks a little ogreish and chunky in the picture. Just assume that it is bad lighting and she is much thinner now. Trust me.

What do I do once I get her phone number?
Verify that it is legitimate. Do this by calling and hanging up a few times. (LOL - but also a good way to get arrested)

When you call her for real, let her know that you cannot believe she actually gave you her number. This shows that you are appreciative. Make sure she knows that you like her in a sexual way. Tell her, her voice sounds sexy. Ask what she is wearing. Question the state of moisture in her panties. Also, inquire as to whether or not she is touching herself at the present point in time. These are the signals she needs to assure her that you do in fact want to stuff her box.

What should a guy do if a woman he is talking to online is nervous about meeting him in person?
Mmmm a timid temptress. Seducing her should be a pleasure.

First, do not play along with her timid games. Urgently suggest that you meet as soon as possible. Let her know that if you wait any longer to meet her you are liable to go crazy, and can not possibly be held accountable for your actions. (This sounds a lot like Jeff Dunetz with his 'can't control' nonsense)

To put her more at ease tell her you have "a big surprise waiting for her". Women love surprises.

Some women might be nervous because they are scared to go out in public. To be safe assure her that you are taking her some place private, and dark.

What should a guy do once she agrees to meet him?
Heyyy-Ohhh! If a girl you meet online has agreed to meet you that means she is ready for you to f*ck her. She is probably very comfortable with you and totally into you. What you need to do is just close the deal. Tell her you are going to take her to dinner or a party.
When you pick her up do not really say anything to her or look at her for that matter. This makes you seem mysterious, and will heighten her erotic desires. Drive to a deserted location. Whip out your **** and say, "dinner is served" or "here is the party *****". Women love spontaneous men, and since she is already so into you, she should be all over your ****. Score!

FROM THIS SITE

Here's a real seduction site - this part is NOT a joke and a scary site that! CLICK HERE
(this part is NOT a joke - it is very real. Did your predator do this to you?)

LOVE BOMBING - A favorite technique of Cyberpaths
The term "Love Bombing" originated with the Moonies to describe a step in their process of conversion. Cyberpaths use it to coerce and brainwash their targets and promote thought reform so the targets/ prey will do what they want WITHOUT QUESTION. Targets are overwhelmed with attention which makes them feel special, loved, and an important part of the new "online relationship."

Aspects of this technique include, but are not limited to flattery, verbal seduction, affectionate, as it goes along - cybersex or sexual conversion and lots of attention. (Singer, p 114)

Geri-Ann Galanti, a cult researcher, experienced love bombing. Regarding a very personal compliment she received, she stated, "Even though I knew it was a manipulative technique, I wanted to believe she meant it, and I decided that she really did. After all, it matched my own perception of myself." Recovery from Cults, p 98.

Love-bombing instills trust. It is impossible to think of the new person as harmful, because are so friendly & seemingly honest (its all a game to them). They seem so supportive and nice; how can this be wrong?

Love-bombing can produce a physical, mental & emotional "high." Prey/ targets can come to feel dependent on this feeling and the safety net of talking to the cyberpath. It also makes them feel loyal and dedicated, as they now may feel they owe the cyberpath some attention or even money & goods in return. Targets often mistake this for "being IN LOVE" and the Cyberpath only encourages & cements this perception.

Cyberpaths frequently use all kinds of "friendshipping"techniques to find new and retain targets/ prey. This includes befriending, coercing and sometimes love bombing the initial target's friends (see the stories of Jeff Dunetz/ Gridney/ Yidwithlid or Dan Jacoby!). Sometimes this friendship is sincere, but more often than not, it is superficial. Sometimes the cyberpath does this to isolate the friends from each other so they can never put the "full story" together. (They tell each friend that the other is "obsessed with" them or "stalking" them & demand secrecy) They are not really interested in someone as a person who they would honestly like to get to know -- they are interested in them as a potential target!

When the Cyberpath gets bored, or something happens to make the target "inconvenient" for them (spouses/ family members find out) or the target gets wise to them, love is withdrawn. This is the opposite of love bombing, a total withdrawal of love and support as a punishment for going against the Cyberpath's wishes or simply the Cyberpath being bored. This is NEVER the target's fault though the Cyberpath will try to make them believe that it is!

Furthermore, love bombing helps silence complaints and criticism, long after the initial predation. The target will feel 'responsible' and the cyberpath will say the target 'did it too' or is 'just as guilty' - often the target believes it and feels tremendous shame and guilt. Be assured this is TOTALLY the doing & fault of the cyberpath - no one else.

Here's a great discussion on LOVE BOMBING - something Cyberpaths do!