ONLINE EXHIBITIONISTS

The thrill of putting it
all out there
For exhibitionists, the Internet is an ideal fantasy playground
By Brian Alexander

Not long into my instant message conversation with "Don," it's obvious there is no way to know if he is who he says he is, if he's answering my questions honestly or if he's playing me for a chump. All I know for sure is that Don placed an image on his IM profile that appeared on my monitor when we began chatting. At first the image he used to represent himself was that of Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow. But he's just replaced that one with another, so now I'm looking at a shot of a torso complete with an erect penis. I assume that's him, but then again, you never know.

Don, an American, says he is on a business trip to Europe and doing what he often does during downtime - firing up his Web cam and exposing himself to the world. The body parts look to be about the right age, 49, and his conversation seems mature enough. Plus, I have managed to contact Don through other online exhibitionists I have met in person. Still, it's possible Don is actually a lonely retiree in Yellowknife, Canada who's surfing the Internet between glances at "Wheel of Fortune."
This is exactly the point of online exhibitionism, and why so many people have started doing it. You can be as free as you want to expose as much of yourself as you want without looking over your shoulder for the county sheriff. This makes the Internet an ideal fantasy playground where anybody can launch naked signal flares into the digital sky to announce: "I'm here, and I'm hot."

Homemade erotica has been around forever. When Polaroid introduced its Model 95 camera in 1948, average people were given the power to produce personal porn on a mass scale because nobody had to develop the pictures. But digital culture has broadened the possibilities. There are dozens of ways to use digital media to expose yourself, ranging from the mild to the X-rated.

Bikini retailers host online "customer galleries" featuring women (and sometimes men) wearing thongs and see-through tops, or no tops at all. On some sites, Web surfers can send e-mails to their favorite bikini-clad woman stating just how much they appreciate the view.

Popular exhibitionist Web sites such as Red Clouds, Watcher's Web, Voyeurweb and True Voyeur offer the same service, allowing every man and woman the chance to let the world see what they look like naked on a rubber float in the backyard pool or spread-eagle in the Barcalounger, and to read how excited (or not) that makes others. The sites appear to have a strong following. Among users of the Alexa Web search Toolbar, for instance, Voyeurweb ranks as the 398th most popular Web site over the past three months. In other words, out of every million users, 1,075 go to Voyeurweb and average 17.7 page views.

There also are sex blogs everywhere now, and MySpace and Flickr are populated by people posing like porn stars.

Of course, "online exhibitionism" sounds creepily similar to "online predator" and "kiddie porn," and the potential for that kind of abuse is great.

But the exhibitionists I contacted all stress that not only are they concerned parents themselves who closely monitor the Internet use of their kids, they also regard such use of the technology as a scourge.


The mom next door
For Susan, Internet exhibitionism has uses of a very interactive kind. I visited Susan in her Maryland home with "Michael" (who asked I not use his real first name), a man Susan met online. Susan uses the Net to trade images of herself with individuals and couples she meets through computer chats and online ads. Sometimes she is naked, sometimes she's performing a sex act.

Susan describes herself "as very much an exhibitionist," but she's nothing like the grizzled guy in the trench coat. She is a middle-aged medical professional, a church-goer and a mother. She is studying for an advanced degree. She calls herself "Rubenesque" and though she is attractive, she does not look like a centerfold model.

"Something I am not interested in is losing my sexuality," she says. "For a woman that is more of a fight." Taking digital pictures of herself, trading them with others and knowing they appreciate them helps her reclaim her feminine sexual identity.

Michael and Susan met when she answered an ad he placed on Craigslist (where ads for sex partners often display the advertiser's genitals). They exchanged nude pictures, met in person and have now struck up what Michael, also a middle-aged professional who works as an executive at a high-tech company and is a father, calls "an intimate friendship." Sometimes they include other people they meet online in their lovemaking, in threesomes or foursomes.

For Michael and Susan, the digital realm is liberating. "I can be free to think the things I want to think and not only think them but act upon them," he says. "How cool is that? You can dream the dream and then go make it real. This is a portal into a parallel universe. I mean, it's a wild world."
That world has been further fueled by technology. Thanks to broadband connections, Web cams and instant messaging, anybody can carve out a space in which they can act in ways they might not outside the virtual world.

"At church ... or wherever your community is, you cannot be real open and talk about your sexuality," Susan says. "But you sure can online. And you can very easily find somebody who is interested in the same things you are."

Many online exhibitionists have no idea who is on the other end of a Web cam and don't really want to know. But some, like Susan and Michael, eventually drop the anonymity because their ultimate goal is to make online fantasies real. "My goal is skin to skin," Susan says.

Don, Susan and Michael do not generally put their pictures up on public Web sites, preferring instead to trade and communicate - often using instant messaging - with a more select audience of their own choosing. Susan, for example, has occasionally viewed Don's camming sessions. She says finding an audience is not difficult.

"I do have ads up on a couple of different Web sites but I think there are networks of people," Susan says. "If you meet somebody and they know 20 people who know 20 people who know 20 people, it is pretty easy to get an expanded community."

That is just what Don has created. At first, he surfed the Web looking for still images of naked female exhibitionists. Then around the year 2000, "when I learned that computers could broadcast cams, I watched a few ladies, usually only topless, perform for me on the Web... Eventually I met a [woman] from Florida who showed me everything and begged me to get a cam. I did, and soon found myself stripping for her. I looked for others who liked it too, and didn't have to look far."

For Don, "camming" usually means displaying himself masturbating, often with one or more women, and sometimes a man, as his audience. Often the camming is mutual, with Don and a woman, using her Web cam to display herself to Don, instant messaging dirty talk back and forth.


'Avenue of escape'
Now, Don tells me, he has about 120 regulars with whom he frequently chats and "cams." He has had virtual sex over the cam with many more people than that, and he does it most nights when he is on the road.

"The digital world," he says, "gives me an avenue of escape to secret desires where I can find fulfillment." He is able to satisfy " private hard-core lover hidden inside of me" that he can express online in anonymity.

That anonymity is important because Don, who tells me he is a conservative Republican Catholic and somewhat shy in real life, is married with children. His wife knows nothing about his online sex life.

"I am basically a moral person but flawed major league when it comes to sex," he says. "And yet there is this secret side to me that must be satisfied … I have always had a streak of exhibitionism in me and felt guilty about that."

He is torn. On the one hand, he worries there might be something wrong with him. On the other, he feels release when he's "camming."

"I think of [online exhibitionism] as pure erotic expression of human desire," he says. "We seek escape from our difficulties, from our routine or pressures, and this gives it to us."

So far, it's tough to say whether Don's form of escape will continue to grow, or if the novelty of digitally mediated exhibitionism will wear off. But it's clear that, for now at least, many Americans are thrilled by the prospect of being their own porn star.

Brian Alexander, a California-based freelance writer and MSNBC.com's Sexploration columnist, is traveling around the country to find out how Americans get sexual satisfaction. Alexander, also a Glamour contributing editor, is chronicling his work in the MSNBC.com special report "America Unzipped" and in an upcoming book for Harmony, an imprint of Crown Publishing.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE

We have listed at least 4 predators at EOPC who are voyeurs and exhibitionists.

WARNING SOME ADULT CONTENT!! MUST BE 18 TO CLICK!
ONE, TWO , THREE and FOUR

Cyber Thieves Play Their Victim's Heartstrings

By THOMAS MICHALSKI

There are countless cyber crimes reported to law enforcement and other government agencies. They include work-at-home, check cashing, lottery and too many others to mention.

A computer is described as a device, electronic or otherwise, that performs high-speed mathematical or logical operations or that assembles, stores, correlates, or otherwise processes information.

The earliest form of computers actually date back to 3500 BC in India, Japan and China. The first recorded "computer crime" occurred in 1820 when Joseph-Marie Jacquard, a French textile manufacturer, invented a device that allowed the repetition of a series of steps in the fabric weaving process. His employees, fearing that their jobs were in jeopardy, sabotaged the new technology.

Computers have come a long way. Unfortunately, cyberspace is now the home to hundreds of Internet crimes that are designed to part innocent people from their money. Most illicit acts are described in the Information Technology Act of 2000 that covers everything from e-mail spoofing to illegal financial scams, pornography, online gambling, forgery, defamation and even cyberstalking.

One of the more popular illicit flim-flams involves romantic letters that eventually become pleas for money.

For this story, I answered one of those letters sent to my company e-mail address. It was one of many transmitted daily by swindlers from all over the world.

This particular one came from "Miss Grace," a self-described "single girl looking for honest and nice person, somebody who care and fear God whom I can partner with."

Her English was terrible, but we played her game for nearly three weeks.

Miss Grace, who also billed herself as "Grace John," claimed to be a 26-year-old West African. She sent a photograph of an attractive young woman with a winning smile.

In the initial Jan. 20 letter she wrote, "I would like to know you more, most especially what you like and what you dislike.

"I am sending you this beautiful mail, with a wish for much happiness," Grace wrote.

My reply was a faux background. "I too am looking for someone. My last wife just died. I've had four of them."

That probably set off the bell at Grace's scam central. A lonely old man. A target!

Grace's Jan. 27 letter was long and personal. In it she relates the story of her father, Dr. Benson John, the "director of project department of gold and diamond," and a successful importer and exporter of cocoa.

"I lost my parent during the war when rebels attacked my house one early morning killing my mother and my father," Grace wrote. "I am 5 feet 7 inches height, fair in complexion with average weight. I am very good at cooking. I love music and I like dancing too."

In another letter Grace called me an "angel" that brightens her day. She wanted my photograph. I declined, and elaborated on my alleged wealth that I said included airplanes and racing cars.

The hook was set.

On Jan. 28 Grace dropped the bomb. Her father, she wrote, left $5.9 million and Grace wants to share it with me. She wants to transfer all that money into my account and all I have to do is send her money for airfare and expenses. She further warns that I must keep the arrangement secret, but first I must contact her bank.

"I hope you will never let me down," Grace says.

She describes her life in a "deportation camp." In later letters Grace says she lives with a "pastor." She won't say how she can use a computer from the camp.

"The bank told me to look for a foreign reliable and honest partner who will assist me in the (money) transfer," Grace writes. "I am glad that God has brought you to see me out of this situation and I promise to be kind and will equally need you in every area of my life."

The bank, she writes, is the Bank of Africa-Senegal. I'm to contact a Mr. Paul Sidibe. She signs the letter, "Always and forever yours, Grace."

On Jan. 30 she pushes me, the faux old and lonely rich man, to provide my personal information to her "bank." I tell her I have more than $5 million in my checking account. That must have caused her and her cronies to salivate.

"You are always on my mind," Grace wrote. She signs her letter, "From my deepest heart, yours forever, Grace."

I told Grace on Feb. 2 that I would not provide the information she requested. On Feb. 3 she asked for money to scan copies of her father's account records. On Feb. 4 she was informed that I was a journalist doing a story on Internet fraud. I asked her a series of questions that received no reply. It was a short lived romance.

Her e-mail is one of many similar ones sent under various names. Consumer Fraud Reporting, a free online site (www.consumerfraudreporting.org.) that warns of specific types of financial and other cyber crimes, shows an example of a letter from a "Miss Nafisatu John Apollo." It is very similar to Grace's. Maybe they're related? They each have "John" in their name.

Government agencies warn people who receive these kinds of letters to ignore them. They yank at the heartstrings of the old and lonely. Another Web site, www.ic3.gov, is used by law enforcement agencies to track cyber fraud. It is a joint effort between the FBI, the National White Collar Crime Center and the Bureau of Justice Assistance. (IC3 currently has a 2-3 year backlog of cases to investigate - do not expect a speedy answer.)

"If something sounds too good to be true," said Officer Donna Saxer of the Pinellas Park police crime prevention unit, "then it probably is."

ORIGINAL ARTICLE

EOPC EXAMPLES:
DAN JACOBY

ANDREW TAMMAR & MARLON WORTHAM

ED HICKS/ CHARLES HICKS/ CHARLES GREENE

JAMES BRIAN ELLINGTON

JOSEPH CAFASSO

MATTHEW COX

PHIL HABERMAN

The Online Predator's Profile

- You know how people are forever telling you to go with your instinct? It's true; you should. If you think an online friend is lying to you, he (or she) most likely is.

- If he seems too good to be true, then obviously and most likely that is the situation. He may present himself as the perfect match to what you are looking for, only someone you wish you could be with. He could share similiarites, make you seem like you're his priority, and seem "perfect" in countless ways. Another precaution to take when you find yourself in a relationship with someone online.

- One who seems they could never betray you, seems trustworthy, and one who would never let you down, is one who is probably very likely to break your trust easily. In fact, the whole time, an online predator is continuously breaking your trust by ensuring you how "trustworthy" he may be, luring you into the fake comforts of the predator.

- In reality, the online predator is insecure, although he may not seem to be in his relationship with you. He can make you look up to him, giving himself a benefit of self-confidence.

- As an obvious point, he may tell you things and plans he has for you, that appears to be a perfect dream to you, but in all truth, he is planning something rather unhealthy or not exactly something you would feel comfort in, even though he makes you think that it is.

- He will lead you to believe that his reputation stands strong in his home area as a well human being. Making you think that he is safe, and well loved and known by many, and is respected by all who knows him, thus making you feel safer in continuing a relationship with him. In reality, the perpetrator, is generally exactly opposite of the person he leads you to believe he is, usually one without such honor, and lacking great reputation among his friends, family, etc.

- He will attack others and belittle many others, but with you as an exception. The person could guide you to believing your "current local boyfriend/spouse", friends, family etc. aren't good enough for you, and make you believe his thoughts as well, sometimes turning you away from those people. He will also slam his spouse/ partner and say she "drove him to the internet" because she doesn't love him/ no sex, etc. And by him denigrating others, he starts to become superior and a higher priority in your life, as he very well planned to.

- It is unlikely that the person has many long-term friends. Especially since the fact that he dedicates so much of his time to luring, tricking, and lying to you (and others). Additionally, a lot of his time is spent shoring up his "belief ceiling" that he's a good guy, a good father/ partner, altruistic or whatever he wants everyone to believe (as well as convincing himself). Which also proves that point that his reputation isn't as great as he claims it to be, leaving him with fewer friends. Most predators don't mind this however; many are accustomed to isolation.

- An online predator cleverly plans things, many times with every little detail mapped and sorted out, making sure he successfully gets you to believing his stories, and him, damaging you as well, for his own benefits and satisfaction, though you don't realize it.

- A predator knows his activities are something he needs to keep discreet, so his online activities are carefully hidden, not revealing what is he doing. He keeps himself a secret and you become part of that secret.

- The person appears to be charming, someone who any person would want to be in a relationship with. He could be the typical "Mr. Right" and fill in every blank that you have wanted in a partner. But obviously, him being "perfect" means he can lure and manipulate his victims with more ease, and getting them to stay because of his "charm".

- The predator makes careful selections in the choice of his victims - usually profiling victims who appear to be in need of a self-esteem boost, certain weaknesses (lonely, divorced, disabled, abused, recovering), etc. and tried his best to comfort you in giving you the "confidence" you need. He scouts out these certain weaknesses from complaining about certain things to him, or straight out telling him. He can work in very smooth ways.

- Of course this person will seem to be amazing and a perfect match for you. They can change themselves to be exactly what you need, and want, thus making you long for them. Anything you like - they like, anything you need - they have, anything you want - they they can get. It may just seem like mere coincidences, and just make you believe this is the perfect partner for you, but remember, they already aren't being their true selves, so they can mold themselves into anything that will suit you perfectly, regardless of their truth. They are 'mirroring' you.

- The person behind the computer may seem to have plenty of self discipline and control over any actions, but in reality, has a major lacking in self control and confidence. The only place they seem to find that control is in this relationship he has created with his victim. And that's a reason why he does so much to keep this relationship active and alive, because it's one of the few things he can take over with. It seems as if he is creating a "fake life" for himself, which is better than his life in reality. In his fake life, he can be anything great that he wants to be, and trick his victim into thinking he is superior and perfect, and forming a relationship with someone that he probably couldn't in reality, as his own self.

(JUST ONE OR TWO OF THESE CHARACTERISTICS IS ENOUGH TO MAKE HIM A PREDATOR!)

original article here

TAKE YOUR CONTROL BACK!

STALKING YOUR STALKER

Are you, or someone you love, so damn frustrated by a stalker (or cyberpath) you just want to scream? Adding insult to injury most recommendations come in the form of things you must do. You, not the stalker, are advised to turn your world upside in hopes it might stop. Law enforcement tells you there is not enough to make an arrest. Nobody or nothing seems to help.

When you are at your wits end I suggest you stalk the stalker. No, I don’t me literally go out and follow them around. Nor do I mean gather all their personal information you can get your hands on. What I do mean is learn as much as you can about them. You need to become your own expert on how they think.

Why? Your stalking will offer some relief in two ways. Your research will reveal you are not crazy and that you are just an object used for pleasure.

Let’s go inside the mind of one type of stalker, the psychopath. If you have trouble grasping it, don’t be surprised. Most of us do not think the same way.

I want to focus on the psychopath because they are extremely destructive with potential life ending consequences. We have no way of predicting if your stalker’s desire includes this possibility. All are not created equally.

Unless they come out and admit prior instances you are left in perilous fear of the prospect. In your own best interest keep a positive outlook.

For the purpose of this article I am going to assume your stalker is a psychopath.

Generally, most people’s behavior is constrained. We are not typically aware of it, but it happens just the same. It is this natural constraint that your stalker may lack. Without it, their game of life is played by totally different rules.

Consideration of their rules helps explain their actions and might translate into some predictability on your part. You did not volunteer for any of this, but you are in it just the same.

Believe it or not your stalker has the advantage right from the start. By the time you realize anything is going on they have your life down. Someway, somehow, somewhere you became an object they have a desire to play with. Why you are the chosen has no precise answer.

To ask why they don’t stop is easier to understand. Their unfettered actions will continue until they no longer have the object (you) available or they become interested in a new object (phew).

Obviously if you are able to build a case strong enough your stalker is off to prison for a while, the game is over or maybe just suspended. In the worst case scenario you do not live to tell about it, then the game is over.

The best outcome and one that you may have a slight influence over is transference of interest. This is when you are replaced. These individuals are predators and they will stalk their entire life. Some prey may never be aware of it until it is over. But in your case you are very aware.

The other way your stalker has an advantage over you is their actions are unfettered. You may have no appreciation of this fact. Get some advantage over the the situation and wrap your mind around the concept their actions are delivered to you without any feelings for you whatsoever. You may be dealing with them the same way your deal with anybody else. Big mistake.

How you feel about the way you are being treated makes no difference. To them you are like a soccer ball, kicked around for pleasure. Pleading with them does not compute.

Imagine you are out in a huge grassy meadow listening to your favorite music. Nobody is around. A song comes on you love. You jump up and start dancing like never before. No constraint, the music moves your body without a care in the world. The music is your motivator and your body is responding to a desire. Nobody is around to inhibit or constrain your actions. Try it sometime. You may dance like never before.

Most of us are inhibited by what others might think and constrained by not wanting to hurt another. If your stalker is a psychopath, then they are not.

Why they do not stop is because they are neither inhibited nor constrained. They do not have the ability to identify with your feelings. Remember how you feel in the meadow. Nobody is around to identify with so you feel free to move your body in accordance with your desire.

Your stalker lives in this meadow all the time. Only their meadow may be downtown New York City.

What about the fact they are living a normal life outside their stalking behavior. If you believe that you need to take yourself back to the meadow. Nothing is normal about their life. Getting along in a world that has different rules comes from learning and executing taught behavior. It is that simple.
When faced with something unique their true identity is revealed. If you know what to look for you will see it. Their response will be inappropriate, unless they get lucky.

Highly intelligent psychopaths are masters at this. What they learn as children is executed almost flawlessly as adults. Almost is the key word here. If you watch them long enough you will see repetitive inappropriate behavior.

Stalking is inappropriate behavior. If a stalker has a desire to stalk, they will pursue it irrespective of any attempts to teach them what is appropriate. Your telling them what they are doing is wrong is a waste of energy.

Research how the psychopath’s mind works.

Take back control of your life. Stalk Your Stalker ASAP.

SOURCE & OTHER GREAT ARTICLES - CLICK HERE

Do They Fit the Checklist on Predators?

The other type of emotionally unavailable man is unavailable due to his relationship (or relationships) with another woman (or women). These guys are never really committed to a woman. They don’t see any relationship as necessarily permanent, including marriage - even if they give lip service to being “deeply committed” to the woman they are with at the moment.

In truth, however, they don’t truly value their intimate relationships or take them seriously, because they are merely “playing,” even though engagement or marriage hardly seems like something to “play” at. They don’t take their relationships seriously because on some level - even if subconsciously - they know they can find someone else who will get involved with them if their current affair ends. What else would cause someone to repeatedly play his future like a crap-shoot without really fearing the outcome?

…It is probably because women keep attempting to get close to him that causes him to keep moving from partner to partner or to keep adding partners. He is uninterested in experiencing or is unable to experience deep feelings of connection with anyone. CHECK!

…What is dangerous about emotionally unavailable men is that they are not authentically emotionally responsive. They are emotionally avoidant.

…Some of these men may have a sexual addiction that fuels their pursuit of rapidly revolving, superficial relationships. Perhaps his sexual addiction takes the form of chronic and compulsive pornography use, a pattern that will diminish a man’s normal human responsiveness.

… be aware that [this type of man] will come across to you as a devoted father and husband or as an upstanding citizen of his community. Never discount the possibility that your emotionally unavailable man may have multiple hidden lives (always the case if he’s engaging in clandestine extramarital affairs) as well as being an emotional predator. For example: emotional unavailability, plus life he keeps hidden from you, his wife or his girlfriend, plus the keen sixth sense of an emotional predator, plus a sexual addiction - help these pathological men thrive at attracting serial superficial relationships.

If he is a sexual addict as well he will have a hidden life of endless porn watching, masturbation, voyeurism, and even using prostitutes. Many times these men will cover their perversions with heavy involvement in community politics, their church or synagogue or doing volunteer work. And they will make sure this cover is very visible so no one suspects.

Sexually addicted predators will not stop at you, they will go after your friends as well. They think nothing of telling your friend that you mean nothing to them and that you are possibly “imagining” the relationship. They will tell their wives the same things about you or any other woman they know insisting “she’s jealous of us and is obsessed with me.” They are masterful jugglers of time and people.

…a woman’s availability itself is a deciding factor… “any port in a storm” will provide adequate distraction from the reality of his life.

Womanizers also look for women who will believe their stories about their home life. Very few of them tell women how happy they are at home, how wonderful their wife is, and how they just really want to have extramarital sex with no strings attached. No, that usually isn’t the story line. The story line goes: “No one has ever really loved me, and certainly not my wife. She nags… doesn’t appreciate me… hates sex…”

Women take this hook too often. …they will be able to make him “finally feel loved… listened to… appreciated.” His need is not “once and for all to be loved” as much as it is to get laid, be amused and be distracted.

A womanizer may be highly verbal about his relationships. He may share personal information in such a way that women mistake his sharing for emotional intimacy… He knows well enough that women are empathic to tales of empty and sad relationships…

An interesting point is that almost every woman who told us her story about getting involved with an emotionally unavailable man said it happened at a time when her self-esteem was low. [She] was coming out of a relationship situation that had damaged her self-esteem (such as being abused or even going through a divorce). Women accept far more during times of low self-esteem than they do when their self-esteem is sound. A belief that she doesn’t deserve a whole, satisfying and healthy relationship is a reflection of how low her self-esteem is. If a man gives a woman who suffers with low-self esteem a little attention… then too often she willingly falls [for him].

The emotional predator is as bad as it gets. He qualifies as the pinnacle of poisonous and pathological… He could, in fact, be called the “emotional psychic.” That’s because it’s his ability to intuit and sense a woman’s emotional vulnerabilities that places her at risk. Webster’s defines predatory as “having a disposition to injure or exploit others for one’s own gain"; it defines predator as “one that preys, destroys or devours.” That’s a good summation of this man. Who but the most pathological among us would set out to exploit, prey on, destroy or devour?

He will hone in on your vulnerabilities and read you. If he likes what he reads, he will follow up by luring you into his scary and dangerous life.

Predators have a natural ability for reading women who are lonely, needy by nature, emotionally wounded or vulnerable. The predator also has his antennae up for women who… have unfulfilled needs in their lives. …he figures out how he can squeeze into the vacant space in your life and what you need to hear in order to allow this to happen.

…[they] “sense” which woman will make the best target for them. They don’t know why they have this gift or how they acquired it. …they have been working women over since childhood. A predator’s intuitive sixth sense is untaught. …an adult’s skills can’t compete with his abilities to scam, con and conquer.

…emotional predators also fall into the mentally-ill category, usually under the diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder. Most also have hidden lives. When you couple a predator’s natural instincts with a lifetime of skills honed by successfully conning, exploiting and injuring women, you have a man who is nothing short of extraordinarily smooth and capable of horrific dangerousness.

Predators’ motives vary. But you can be sure a predator wants something from you. That is the entire reason for the relationship. …There is something in you that he wants. Maybe “all” he wants is your utter adoration or for you to exalt his ego. …Maybe wants what you can provide to help establish his image so he will marry you (’good family man’). Or maybe …he’s most interested in the pursuit and conquest of a woman… If he is a sexual predator, you are a target, whether it be for consensual sex or rape - depending on whichever way it plays out or whatever mood he is in.

A predator does not “need” the relationship. Early on… the predator is deliberately romantic. Predators are shifting chameleons who can be all things to all women. Predators are smooth as silk. …predators are listeners who will give up very little information until they are sure it will align with your history. …His selection is based on his need and your vulnerability. He knows it’s a matter of matching need with need. The more he knows about your needs, the better he can meet them.

He has a nose for vulnerability, so women who have unmet needs “smell” especially good to him. He seeks women who need men who can “sense and know” them on almost a spiritual level. Since he is good at this, he will appear to know you well - and quickly.

They like women who had absent fathers, angry mothers or neglectful and abusive husbands. Knowing that many women are trained to believe that people are basically good at heart, predators will present themselves as men of honor and virtue…. But because he is a chameleon, he will listen closely to see if you also need a mentor, an adviser on some topic, a spiritual leader, or a male friend.

During counseling sessions I’ve had with men who are emotional predators, some have verbalized their targets. One said,

“I look for naive women. I like a certain vulnerability to her - that she trusts humanity without asking for proof. Maybe she’s been hurt a lot so there’s a “woundedness” to her. That vulnerability makes them believe you, because they need to believe you.”

Another said,

“I like the women who have been pounded down by men and those with childhoods that weren’t so good. They are particularly easy.”

It is important to understand that each predator has developed his own unique style. He has a “type” or two of women he prefers because with those types he has mastered the approach, the dating, and the ‘end.’ He doesn’t have to think very hard if he just uses the profile he’s had success with. One predator may prefer recently divorced or divorcing women because he succeeds at playing that angle with them.

… these guys can show a woman they definitely “get it.” They show you all the attention that the jerks you’ve been with haven’t. They say all the right lines that the men in your past could never verbalize. They are brilliant and insightful about what you need. They seem to know exactly every pain you have suffered.

With more skill than a carnival psychic, the emotional predator can hone in on your every need, sympathize with you in such a way so that you believe you’ve met your long lost soulmate and sweep you off your feet… He’s… more insightful than a therapist. He “knows” you the way no one else ever has.

This guy moves FAST. He’s got to - before you figure out what his M.O. is. Every woman should be suspect of the relationships that seem to be traveling in the fast lane on the super-highway of emotional intimacy. A predator needs to keep you so euphoric with compliments and lover’s talk that you aren’t listening, or paying attention. He is dripping with sincerity and clinging to every word you say. A predator wants to consummate the relationship with you right away, because time is against him.

To move the relationship along and be indispensable to you, he must act helpful, comforting and generous. Since he is working against the clock, he must find out what you need and then meet that need.

While listening to you and observing you, he will glean a lot of information about your hobbies, interests, spiritual beliefs and value systems. He is the original identity thief. He uncovers and uses for his own purposes everything he can about what makes you - YOU. He will find you amazing, beautiful, bright and talented - like no one he has EVER met before. He will align how he portrays himself with your needs and also your interests until you feel like you are looking at your twin.

Finally, another way predators succeed with women is by preying on their compassion. Once a woman is in the grip of a predator, anything can happen.

[Once a woman sees their stories] for the crock they are and bust them for their fake opinions with them, they will try and turn the table and make it seem it was the woman who had emotional problems!

from: HOW TO SPOT A DANGEROUS MAN by Sandra Brown, MA

The Four Psychological Stages Of Those Abused by Cyberpaths

Stage One ~ DENIAL
The victim refuses to admit even to herself, that she has been 'had' or that there is a problem in her online relationship/friendship. She may call each incident an accident. She offers excuses & rationalizations and each time she is played or insulted firmly believes it will never happen again.

Stage Two ~ GUILT
Victim now acknowledges there is a problem, but considers herself responsible for it. She deserves to be used and lied to, she feels because she has defects in her character and is not living up to her predators's expectations.

Stage Three ~ ENLIGHTENMENT
The woman no longer assumes responsibility for her cyberpaths's abusive treatment, recognizing that no one deserves to be treated badly, used, played or lied to. She is still committed to her online relationship though and stays with her cyberpath hoping they can work things out. During this period she often questions the predator and hopes for "straight answers" because things are starting to not jive or make sense.

Stage Four ~ RESPONSIBILITY
Accepting the fact that her cyberpath will not, or can not, stop his predatory & manipulative behavior, the victim decides she will no longer submit to it and starts a new life.

Often involves "telling" and no more secret keeping - by which she can achieve validation that she is not alone or stupid.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE

How Psychopaths View Their World

Most psychopaths are very arrogant and cocky. However, when charming a potential victim, they say all the "right" things and make you believe they are kind-hearted souls; not always, but often enough. The truth is, psychopaths are not altruistic and do not really care about friendships or ties. Guggenbuhl-Craig states that they are very talented at appearing much more humble than the average person, but are hardly so. Some are also able to feign concern about the lower classes and profess that they are on the side of the underdog, the poor, and so forth.


A psychopath may claim, for instance (if he's from a low socio-economic class), that he dislikes rich people intensely, but at the same time, he will inwardly yearn and envy what they have. He is like the narcissist, desiring to reflect a false image of himself through his possessions. Among his possessions are included human beings: girlfriends, wives, and children. Some psychopaths can even very fond of animals (contrary to the common viewpoint), but still view them as objects in relation to themselves.

The psychopath is filled with greed inside, relating to the world through power, even though, as I said, on the outside he can claim to be on the side of the disenfranchised or the downtrodden. I knew one who liked to repeat phrases such as "they have to stop keeping my brothers down" but he didn't mean a word of it. He was actually a racist. The psychopath can also often identify himself as a revolutionary.

On the flip side, the psychopath also often paints a picture of himself as the downcast anti-hero (his "own worst enemy type") and some like to see themselves as lone-wolves. The psychopath may even claim he is sensitive and profound, but inside he is nothing but emptiness and greed. Whether or not the psychopath is aware of his behaviour is something that is often debated. I do believe that psychopaths usually know exactly what they are doing, although others suggest that psychopaths are "born, not made." [1]

As mentioned, psychopaths often claim to settle for second best (being their own worst enemy) and then think they deserve better. This may be manifested in the way they seek power -- either through money (i.e. material goods), manipulation and/or treating people as objects. By enacting such behaviours, the psychopath is also trying to "get back" at society and the world, in order to gain retribution. They will spend their entire lives doing this, whether they are rich or poor, or whatever their social background may be, although studies have shown that they often come from an impoverished or lower socio- economic background and/or social status. (In one of Dr. Donald Black's studies, many of the men were "overwhelmingly white, blue collar, lower middle class, and married, and most had not graduated from high school." [Black, 14]). (Let me add, despite Dr. Blacks' studies, psychopaths can still exist in any social class. Do not be misled).

I also wanted to point out that I will be using "he" and "him" for the term psychopath throughout this website; let it not be forgotten, yes, female psychopaths exist as well; however, according to the Sixth Edition of Abnormal Behavior, printed in 2000 by three male professors, David, Derald, and Stanley Sue, the rates do differ by gender. Included in their excellent text is a report by the The American Psychiatric Association that the general estimate is 3% for men, and less than 1% in women [Personality Disorders and Impulse Control Disorders, 238].

What is very disturbing about psychopaths, besides their sense of special entitlement, is the complete lack of empathy for normal people, for "antisocials (psychopaths) seem to lack a conscience, feeling little or no empathy for the people whose lives they touch...the antisocial effortlessly resists all regulation, unable to see beyond his self-interest or to adopt standards of right versus wrong." [Black, XIII].

Not all psychopath are uneducated low-class misfits. Some of them are quite handsome and have good careers, and use this all the more to their benefit. Take a look at Ted Bundy; my friend's mother once went on a double-date with him and claimed he was the nicest person. His mother said he was the "best son any mother could have." Bundy was also apparently quite good-looking, which made him even more dangerous. So not all psychopaths are derelict, low-class, high school drop-outs, there are many who also work in professional occupations.

Also, not all psychopaths are calm, cool, and collected. Some of them appear strange or odd, and their behaviour can be eccentric or unusual. I believe this is what can confuse victims most often. Psychopaths often appear [see pictures here]: intense and "electrifying". Do not be misled if someone appears harmless, "foolish", or seems offbeat. An "angelic" visage can also often fool people. Just picture John Wayne Gacy in his "clown costume" as he entertained children as one example.

A psychopath (he was diagnosed anti-social) I knew used the harmless cover-up quite well. Everyone thought he was very funny. I did too, at first. Then, little by little, I realised there was something "not right" about him. At first his seemingly harmless pranks were charming, but after a while, he became more of a nuisance and disrupted our work environment, which created havoc and tension between employees. I've learned, a psychopath can use these disguises for his own hidden purpose.

Regardless of race, social class, or occupation, however, the psychopath is dangerous to society, for "the nature of ASP (psychopathy) implies that it wreaks more havoc on society than most other mental illnesses do, since the disorder primarily involves reactions against the social environment that drag other people into its destructive web...The despair and anxiety wrought by antisocials (psychopaths) tragically affects families and communities, leaving deep physical and emotional scars..." [Black, 5].

There is much to the psychopathic personality which is baffling and disturbing. 1 in about 25-30 people are psychopathic (also known as sociopaths or anti-social -- the correct title being psychopath.) Since the majority or them are men, I wrote this site in part, to warn women about the dangers, especially women online, which I believe is a favourite "new medium" which appeals to psychopaths. I have personal experience with this subject as well. This is because "antisocials (psychopaths) are not just characters in our fictional or true-life entertainments. They are family members, friends, co-workers, neighbors, or strangers we may encounter every day." [Black, 10].

Pamela Jayne, M.A., writes that "30% of men are sociopathic." If about every three out of ten men I may meet are psychopathic, I would assume this is not something to take lightly. According to these statistics, that would mean every three out of ten men and maybe every one out of ten females. The truth is, we do not really know exactly how many individuals are psychopathic; however, there seems to be a rise in the prevalence of psychopathy and that is why some claim that numbers are higher. Dr. Black claims that psychopathy leads right behind depression, along with schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder, which is an astounding fact.

THIS AN OTHER GREAT ARTICLES ON PSYCHOPATHY

PlentyOfFish User to Do Jail Time for False Charges

How many times do we have to tell it? STAY AWAY FROM ONLINE DATING! (Christian, Single Parents, supposedly "safe") - its all BAD NEWS!! - Fighter)


Kellye Stephens, 22, laughed and joked with friends in the Barre District Courthouse Wednesday. She was there to learn when she may be going to trial for felony perjury-- accused of creating false evidence that sent an innocent man to prison.

We gave her a chance to tell her side of the story.

Reporter Brian Joyce: I interviewed Mr. Anderson this morning by phone from Illinois and I'm here to ask you why you did this to him for a story tonight on Channel 3?

Stephens turned away and did not tell us why she allegedly framed 22-year-old Rick Anderson a year ago, sending him to prison for three months.

By telephone Anderson told us he is still uncertain why she did it.

"When I asked my lawyer about that he said, he said irrational hatred. So I'm just gonna stick with that," Anderson said.

Anderson says he met Stephens through the online dating service PlentyofFish.com a year ago. He says they went out four times but it didn't click and he saw her for the last time in April. So he was shocked two days later when she went to Northfield Police and claimed he was stalking her and sending her death threats via the internet. Anderson was arrested, charged with making death threats and stalking, and packed off to the St. Johnsbury prison.

"It was literally living hell... No one knew where I was at so I couldn't get a change of clothes," he said. "Why am I here? I'm innocent. That's what I'm thinking the whole time. I never did anything wrong."

Anderson couldn't afford the $10,000 bail so he languished in prison for 92 days.

That's when police computer investigators finally figured out that Stephens had written the threatening e-mails on her own computer and framed Anderson.

"It's a small unit and their workload is such that it wasn't at the top of their list. They had other items to examine before they got to this one," Washington County Prosecutor Tom Kelly explained.

Anderson was freed immediately.

"I got down on my knees and I thanked God the good Lord above," Anderson said.

Stephens was charged with felony perjury and reporting a false crime. Prosecutors say they will seek a sentence of at least 92 days in prison for her -- equaling Anderson's prison time.

"What she did really hurt my feelings. Especially because all I ever was was nice to her," Anderson said. "That it hurt my feelings. That's all I'd like to say that's all I have to say to that woman."

Now, Anderson resides in Illinois with his grandmother and he is unemployed. He has retained a lawyer and may sue Stephens.

Northfield Police were unavailable for comment Wednesday, but legal experts tell us there is little likelihood of success suing the police because they simply did their job.

No trial date has been set for Stephens, but it appears it would come in May at the earliest.

SOURCE

Exposure: Is it an Intervention? or Revenge?

Mistaken by a cyberpath as an attack.


A predator/ narcissistic cyberpath is complicated but simultaneously transparent when confronted with exposure of their motives.

They are always about the next fix, so if a situation becomes difficult and they find that it is not making them feel good they will blame shift and start looking for the next target. They can never admit and are incapable of realizing that 110% they did it to themselves!

...it was never, ever about you. It was always about them. All about their relentless and all-consuming pursuit of the nectar of supply. You simply made yourself available for feeding upon. You were an means to an end. Nothing more. Yeah, that smarts.

...They don't see you. It's not about you. It will never be about you. You didn't exist for them as a fully feeling and sentient human being. They can not properly assess your value as a person. You are only as good as the nectar of attention you can give them. No matter how great the quality, at some point they get bored. All you'll get for thanks is a door in your face and a big kiss off. They are nothing more than big children who play with their toy for days, weeks, months. Then one day they lose all interest in the toy and kick it aside for another... you've been drastically and catastrophically demoted. All in a moment, a twinkling of the narcissist's eye.

They've moved on to another source and leave you to the licking of your wounds. Lick your wounds, but don't work on that too long. You have reason to be thankful. You are no longer being used. You are no longer someone's sycophant, slave or fall-back supply source. Been dumped by a narcissist? Thank the God in Heaven for your new lease on life and resolve to not again be taken in by a parasitic narcissist.

They are not worth the tears you're shedding for them. You are weeping over the relationship you thought you had, but never did. - SOURCE

Next time they will be more careful not to get caught or figured out. And the next target gets to be on the receiving end of the heightened game.

But what if they have been EXPOSED?

The script has to change now. What does that mean?

Effort. Now they have to work harder to keep up the lie. Reputation, ego, image, humiliation.

Now their avenues for prey have been depleted downward.

Now the blame shifting has become their only weapon. Make it the other person's fault, but don't stop there. Do it up big. Make themselves the victim . Turn it around and play the "poor me" card.

Always notice that at no point do they think about who they hurt, stop to feel bad about the pain they caused someone else. At no point can they see that they need to STOP and realize that if it has gotten this bad, it is time to reevaluate themselves and get help. No, narcissists are incapable of this moment of self awareness. They don't have the internal mechanisms for this sort of deep introspection. They can SAY they do - but they do NOT.

Even though its time to wake up... They Can't. They simply CAN NOT.

This doesn't happen because of their entrenched belief that they are superior to everyone. Oh, they may apologize to the wife/husband/partner; go to counseling for a few weeks and bamboozle the counselor; even tell a minimized, white-washed, spun story of "what really happened" according to them - but those they preyed on? Well, its THE PREY'S fault isn't it?

NOT!

Then they keep finding outlets, ways to escape reality. New identities, new websites, new emails. Even if they say they do - they don't stop. Ever.

Being Exposed is an Intervention. Our Intervention for them. And they will only see it as a full frontal attack. So don't stop. DO THE INTERVENTION... but do it for you and others.

The ways they respond confirms its the real truth which they exposed - ALL BY THEMSELVES

Cross posted from our friends at The Exposer

Composite Profile of a Cyberpath

Definition: The Online Predator is one who uses the mechanisms of cyber space to hunt human beings with the intent to exploit, rob, plunder and pillage their body, mind, heart and soul. This includes all ages (children or adults). Adults who prey on other adults are called CYBERPATHS.

Characteristics of a Predator:
1. Liar: (Self explanatory) Though his lies may sound very convincing or contain kernels of truth.

2. Deceiver: His self situation is presented as other than what it is.

3. Betrayer: He is likely to break trust.

4. Insecure: He is worried that others will be faithless.

5. Inconsistent: He will say one thing while doing another or his stories aren't consistent over time.

6. Lacking Honor: Usually while protesting that he has honor.

7. Lack of Respect: He will tend to denigrate, poke fun at or disrespect others.

8. Transient: He is unlikely to have many long term friends though he may tell you differently. He will make sure you don't have to meet any of these "friends" either.

9. Manipulator: He calculates and contrives for his own benefit to the detriment of his partner.

10. Secretive: He will tend to cloak himself and his activities. (blocking you online for days or weeks at a time with no real reason why or being online and not chatting with you)

11. Charming: If he could not steal your breath away, he would not be a successful hunter.

12. Selective: He will pick victims carefully, looking for weaknesses and vulnerability and filling those voids in their lives seemingly completely.

13. Chameleon: He will appear to fit any need perfectly and adapt to fill any desire.

14. Lacking in Self Control: At times, he may have extraordinary self control and discipline, a predator probably exhibits these characteristics in all aspects of his life. Impulsive.

It may be that the only place the predator seems to have 'honor and value' -- is in the false "Relationship" he is developing with his victim.

CAUTION

When developing a new relationship, make a conscious effort to listen to your partner's stories about their interaction with others, not just how he interacts with you. The predator may well reveal his true self through these interactions. But, you may only see this revelation if your are committed to taking every precaution for your own safety.

THEIR ACTIONS NOT THEIR WORDS TELL YOU EVERYTHING.

Predator Warning Signals:
While any of these phrases or actions may be acceptable in a given context, pay close attention when seeing or hearing them:

Phrases:
1. Do not tell ____________ about us, me.

2. (_______) is crazy! (or psycho, sick, a liar, a stalker, harrassing me or out to get me)

3. It would be best if you no longer spoke to _________.

4. I do not need to defend myself against lies. You know I am not like that.

5. They are just jealous (of me, of us, of what we have, that you have me).

6. I have never done this before. I am not that sort of person.

7. I wouldn't lie to you. I would never hurt you.

Actions:
1. Sometimes operates from inocuous web areas or chat rooms. (parents chats, music chats, classmates chats, pen pal sites, shared interest email lists or bulletin boards)

2. Has personal information which is incomplete or not verifiable or gives you vague information about themselves.

3. Becomes defensive or angry when questioned. Or says they're tired and gets offline.

4. Questions your sincerity when questioned.

5. He will usually discourage or forbid personal information checks. (DON'T LET THIS STOP YOU!! THIS IS A MAJOR RED FLAG - If they tell you "you don't trust me" then run their name and nickname(s) through search engines ASAP! And READ EVERY HIT!!)

6. He will usually discourage, schedule for certain times only or forbid the use of his home, work or cell phone number by you. Ask you not to IM him first in case he's busy (usually not alone or chatting with another victim)

7. He's badmouthing his current partner, wife, girlfriend or significant other ("they don't understand me, not enough love/ sex/ attention, etc.")

8. He starts to show lack of concern for what concerns you and/or a change in his behavior and how he talks to you after a few weeks or months. (Changes from caring about you to self-absorbed concerns)

9. You have a serious personal or job problem (sometimes because of chatting with him) and he stops chatting with you for weeks or months at a time telling you its "for your own good" or he's "trying to protect you." (The only person he really cares about protecting is himself)

10. Either refuses to or hesitates to see you for coffee in public place or wants to see you right away. Be very careful if you are in a different country than the person you are chatting with and they offer to pay your way over to "be with them."

"YOU CAN'T FALL MADLY IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE YOU HAVE NEVER MET AND SPENT SIGNIFICANT TIME WITH, IN PERSON.... and NOT SEXUAL TIME!

Personal Warning Signals:
These are items that, even if you think JUST ONE, anyone should pay attention to:

1. You feel he is just too good to be true.
2. You are hearing consistent warnings from more than one person about them.
3. Your instincts are whispering "something is not right about this person/what they are saying".

Summary:
The final best defense against an Online Predator is your own common sense and judgment.

Always remember that they count on desires, needs, and the heat of the moment that combine to drown that judgment.

Always take a moment to step back, take a deep breath and look at a potential partner with common sense and not with neediness.

(We have used the male gender - online predators can be female as well)

CLICK HERE for a GREAT EXAMPLE!

Deepest Gratitude to Sandra Brown, MA!

Our thanks and gratitude to Sandra Brown, MA for her continued support of us here at EOPC! - Fighter
~~~~~~~~~
(an open letter to the blog/ web platforms that carry sites like EOPC and personal blogs exposing psychopaths)

We hope that you understand the nature of Public Psychopathy Education and the protection it offers to victims, especially women.

The more severe a pathological mental condition is, the more likely it is to NOT be recognized by others.

This is the gap in education that exists about psychopathy.

Additionally, the information that is lacking is how these people, hunt, lure, prey, and then react once caught. There are now a small group of organizations that are involved in Public Psychopathy Education which is a public service. These organizations have use the amazing power and breadth of the internet to provide public service safety. Most victims find out services online as well.

Cyberpaths is just one example of an organizations involved in protection and education.

People die every year at the hands of psychopathic predators who 'shop' for their victims on line. Many of us are in the profession of prevention -- before we must read about these people in the news -- Laci, Stacey and Nicole.

Please honor the organizations like EOPC that are involved in Public Psychopathy Education and recognize them for the safety they provide for people online. Allow them to give out the life-saving information that will help save all of us.

Sincerely, Sandra L. Brown, M.A.
The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Psychopathy Education

Author of How to Spot a Dangerous Man & Women Who Love Psychopaths

Sandra's Website

The Eighteen Types of the [Online Predator]'s Victims

from The Art of Seduction
by Robert Greene, published by Viking Books, 2001

1. The Reformed Rake or Siren: People of this type were once happy-go-lucky seducers who had their way with the opposite sex. But the day came when they were forced to give this up — someone corralled them into a relationship, they were encountering too much social hostility, they were getting older and decided to settle down . . . These types are ripe for the picking: all that is required is that you cross their path and offer them the opportunity to resume their rakish or siren ways . . .

2. The Disappointed Dreamer: As children, these types probably spent a lot of time alone. To entertain themselves they developed a powerful fantasy life, fed by books and films and other kinds of popular culture. And as they get older, it becomes increasingly difficult to reconcile their fantasy life with reality, and so they are often disappointed by what they get . . . These types make for excellent and satisfying victims . . . All you need do is disguise some of your less than exalted qualities and give them a part of their dream . . .

3. The Pampered Royal: These people were the classic spoiled children. All of their wants and desires were met by an adoring parent — endless entertainments, a parade of toys, whatever kept them happy for a day or two . . . what the Pampered Prince or Princess is really looking for is one person, that parental figure, who will give them the spoiling they crave. To seduce this type, be ready to provide a lot of distraction — new places to visit, novel experiences, color, spectacle. You will have to maintain an air of mystery, continually surprising your target with a new side to your character. Variety is the key . . .

4. The New Prude: The New Prude is excessively concerned with standards of goodness, fairness, political sensitivity, tastefulness, etc. What marks the New Prude, though, as well as the old one, is that deep down they are actually excited and intrigued by guilty, transgressive pleasures — once you open them up, and get them to let go of their correctness, they are flooded with feelings and energies. They may even overwhelm you. Perhaps they are in a relationship with someone as drab as they themselves seem to be — do not be put off . . .

5. The Crushed Star: We all want attention, we all want to shine, but with most of us these desires are fleeting and easily quieted. The problem with Crushed Stars is that at one point in their lives they did find themselves the center of attention — perhaps they were beautiful or charming, perhaps they were athletes, or had some other talent — but those days are gone . . . Seducing this type is simple: just make them the center of attention . . . The reward of seducing Crushed Stars is that you stir up powerful emotions. They will feel intensely grateful to you for letting them shine. To whatever extent they had felt crushed and bottled up, the easing of that pain releases intensity and passion, all directed at you. They will fall in madly in love . . .

6. The Novice: What separates Novices from ordinary innocent young people is that they are fatally curious . . . Seducing a Novice is easy. To do it well, however, requires a bit of art. Novices are interested in people with experience, particularly people with a touch of corruption and evil. Make that touch too strong, though, and it will intimidate and frighten them. What works best with a Novice is a mix of qualities . . . They are easily misled by these tactics, since they lack the experience to see through them . . . mix innocence and corruption and you will fascinate them . . .

7. The Conqueror: These types have an unusual amount of energy, which they find difficult to control. They are always on the prowl for people to conquer, obstacles to surmount . . . In matters of romance, the worst thing you can do with them is lie down and make yourself easy prey; they may take advantage of your weakness, but they will quickly discard you and leave you the worse for wear. You want to give Conquerors a chance to be aggressive, to overcome some resistance or obstacle, before letting them think they have overwhelmed you . . .

8. The Exotic Fetishist: Most of us are excited and intrigued by the exotic. What separates Exotic Fetishists from the rest of us is the degree of this interest, which seems to govern all their choices in life. In truth they feel empty inside, and have a strong dose of self-loathing . . . Clearly the way to seduce them is to position yourself as exotic . . . Exaggerate a little and they will imagine the rest, since such types tend to be self-deluders. Exotic Fetishists, however, do not make particularly good victims. Whatever exoticism you have will soon seem banal to them, and they will want something else . . .

9. The Drama Queen: Most often, Drama Queens (and there are plenty of men in this category) enjoy playing the victim. They want something to complain about, they want pain. Pain is a source of pleasure for them. With this type, you have to be willing and able to give them the mental rough treatment they desire. That is the only way to seduce them in a deep manner . . . At the extreme, they can be hopelessly selfish and anti-seductive, but most of them are relatively harmless and will make fine victims if you can live with the sturm und drang . . .

10. The Professor: These types cannot get out of the trap of analyzing and criticizing everything that crosses their path. Their minds are overdeveloped and overstimulated. Even when they talk about love or sex, it is with great thought and analysis . . . Make them feel like Don Juans or Sirens, to even the slightest degree, and they are your slaves. Many of them have a masochistic streak that will come out once you stir their dormant senses. You are offering an escape from the mind, so make it as complete as possible: if you have intellectual tendencies yourself, hide them . . .

11. The Beauty: From early on in life, the Beauty is gazed at by others. Their desire to look at her is the source of her power, but also the source of much unhappiness . . . Most important in this seduction is to validate those parts of the Beauty that no one else appreciates — her intelligence (generally higher than people imagine), her skills, her character. Of course you must worship her body — you cannot stir up any insecurities in the one area in which she knows her strength, and the strength on which she most depends — but you also must worship her mind and soul . . .

12. The Aging Baby: Some people refuse to grow up. Perhaps they are afraid of death, or of growing old; perhaps they are passionately attached to the life they led as children . . . If you desire to seduce this type, you must be prepared to be the responsible, staid one. That may be a strange way of seducing, but in this case it works . . . Aging Babies can be amusing for a while, but, like all children, they are often potently narcissistic. This limits the pleasure you can have with them. You should see them as short-term amusements, or temporary outlets for your frustrated parental instincts . . .

13. The Rescuer: . . . Rescuers usually have complicated motives: they often have sensitive natures, and truly want to help. At the same time, solving people's problems gives them a kind of power they relish — it makes them feel in control . . . If you are a woman, play the damsel in distress, giving a man the chance so many men long for — to act the knight. If you are a man, play the boy who cannot deal with this harsh world; a female Rescuer will envelop you in maternal attention, gaining for herself the added satisfaction of feeling more powerful and in control than a man. An air of sadness will draw either gender in . . .

14. The Roué: . . . These types have lived the good life and experienced many pleasures. They probably have, or once had, a good deal of money to finance their hedonistic lives. Roués are consummate seducers, but there is one type that can easily seduce them — the young and the innocent . . . If you should want to seduce them, you will probably have to be somewhat young, and to have retained at least the appearance of innocence . . .

15. The Idol Worshiper: Everyone feels an inner lack, but Idol Worshipers have a bigger emptiness than most people . . . The way to seduce these types is to simply become their object of worship, to take the place of the cause or religion to which they are so dedicated . . . With this type you have to hide your flaws, or at least to give them a saintly sheen. Be banal and Idol Worshippers will pass you by. But mirror the qualities they aspire to themselves and they will slowly transfer their adoration to you. Keep everything on an elevated plane — let romance and religion flow into one . . .

16. The Sensualist: What marks these types is not their love of pleasure but their overactive senses . . . The key to seducing them is to aim for their senses, to take them to beautiful places, pay attention to detail, envelop them in spectacle, and of course use plenty of physical lures . . . That is how Cleopatra worked on Mark Antony, an inveterate sensualist . . .

17. The Lonely Leader: . . . Lonely Leaders long to be seduced, to have someone break through their isolation and overwhelm them. The problem is that most people are too intimidated to try, or use the kind of tactics — flattery, charm — that they see through and despise. To seduce such types, it is better to act like their equal or even their superior — the kind of treatment they never get. If you are blunt with them you will seem genuine, and they will be touched — you care enough to be honest, even perhaps at some risk. (Being blunt with the powerful can be dangerous . . . )

18. The Floating Gender: All of us have a mix of the masculine and the feminine in our characters, but most of us learn to develop and exhibit the socially acceptable side while repressing the other. People of the Floating Gender type feel that the separation of the sexes into such distinct genders is a burden . . . What Floating Gender types are really looking for is another person of uncertain gender, their counterpart from the opposite sex . . . If you are not of the Floating Gender, leave this type alone. You will only inhibit them and create more discomfort . . .

NJ Stalking Law Gives More Help to Victims

Since some of our victims are cyberstalked and relentlessly harassed once their predator is exposed - this change in one state's law may set a precedent for others:

BY REBECCA MORTON

With a unanimous vote the state Senate passed a bill that would make it easier for police to assist the victim of a stalker.

The action came during the Senate's final voting session of 2008 on Dec. 15.
"I am pleased to join with my colleague, Sen. Buono, in sponsoring this landmark legislation that will broaden protections for stalking victims. This measure will simply let women live free from fear," Sen. Jennifer Beck (R-Monmouth and Mercer) said of the bill she sponsored.

The legislation was sponsored by Beck and Sen. Barbara Buono (D-Middlesex).
Initially introduced in June 2007 by former Assemblyman Mike Panter (D-Monmouth and Mercer), the bill has undergone some changes from the version that the Assembly unanimously passed March 13.

Changes included the removal of a section that related to mental suffering or distress. Originally, the bill stated that emotional stress was defined as significant mental suffering or distress, that may, but does not necessarily require medical or other professional treatment or counseling. The bill now reads that emotional stress is defined as significant mental suffering or distress, leaving no mention of medically proving that state.

Also changed was the degree of the penalty if an individual is convicted of stalking. Initially the bill sought to make stalking a third-degree crime, but changes have been made to maintain the crime at a fourth-degree level for a first offense.

Tom Fitzsimmons of Beck's office explained that the amended version will return to the state Assembly for a revote in 2009. The Assembly also met on Dec. 15 for its last session of the year.

According to the New Jersey Legislature's Web site, the Assembly will meet again for voting Feb. 5. If the bill is placed on that day's agenda and is once again passed in the Assembly, the governor can then sign it into law.

The bill will expand the current stalking law to include conduct that causes a reasonable person to fear for his or her safety or the safety of a third person or to suffer emotional distress. The bill also amends the definition of course of conduct to include directly or indirectly or through a third person or by device to follow, monitor, surveilling, threaten or communicating to or about a person (such as posting blogs or comments to websites about them!). It also covers interfering with a person's property and repeatedly committing harassment against a person.

"Technological advances require that the Legislature update and amend current statutes to ensure that the victims of stalking receive the best available protection," Beck said, citing global positioning systems and easily concealed cameras that furnish stalkers with the means to harass another individual.

Law enforcement officials have previously stated in Greater Media Newspapers that the current law limits their actions unless a direct threat is made against the victim.

The bill was initially drafted with the assistance of a Monmouth County woman who is a victim of stalking, along with input from Manalapan Police Chief Stuart Brown, Marlboro police Detective Sgt. Paul Reed and Marlboro police Detective Ross Yenisey. The bill received additional information from the National Center for Victims of Crime, Washington, D.C., and the New Jersey Coalition for Battered Women.

Violators of the law would be punishable by a term of imprisonment not to exceed 18 months, a maximum fine of $10,000 or both. Violators who commit a second or subsequent offense are guilty of a crime of the third degree punishable by a maximum term of imprisonment of five years, a fine of $15,000 or both.

According to the National Center for Victims of Crime - the center reports that 1,006,970 women and 370,990 men are stalked annually.

90,000 Sex Offenders Removed in Two Years from MySpace

This is exactly why EOPC tells its members to get rid of their MySpace & Facebook accounts. You can see how LONG it takes the government to act on and take care of these problems! IC3 (FBI CyberCrimes Unit) has a 2-3 year backlog.

And why EOPC has NEVER at any time, EVER had a blog, page or site on MySpace or Facebook and NEVER will. - Fighter

The online networking site MySpace has identified and barred some 90,000 registered sex offenders from using the site over the last two years, MySpace revealed to an investigative task force on Tuesday.

The "shocking" number was 40,000 more than MySpace had previously acknowledged, according to Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal, a co-chairman of the task force of state attorneys general looking into sex offenders' use of social networking.

MySpace, owned by News Corp.'s Fox Interactive Media digital division, disclosed the figures to the task force in response to a subpoena.

"This shocking revelation, resulting from our subpoena, provides compelling proof that social networking sites remain rife with sexual predators," Blumenthal said in a statement.

Blumenthal's office said it was awaiting a response to a similar subpoena issued to Facebook, another popular social networking site that his office said also might host "substantial numbers of convicted offenders."

Facebook's Chief Privacy Officer Chris Kelly said in a statement it was working with Blumenthal's office but said the site had "not yet had to handle a case of a registered sex offender meeting a minor through Facebook."

"Unlike MySpace or other social networking sites, Facebook has always enforced a real-name culture and has developed and deployed social verification and powerful privacy rules that allow people to interact in a safer and more trusted environment," the statement said.

Two years ago, MySpace commissioned background verification firm Sentinel Safe Tech Holdings Corp. to create a national database of sex offenders after reports that some of its teenage users were abducted by sex predators.

Sentinel operates a U.S. database of sex offenders that includes as many as 120 details for each offender, from their names and addresses to their scars and tattoos, Sentinel Chief Executive John Cardillo said.

Before the national database was created, information on convicted sex offenders was available only locally.

MySpace said on Tuesday the technology had enabled it to identify 90,000 users as registered sex offenders -- people who have been found guilty of sex crimes and ordered to register with law enforcement officials -- and had removed and blocked them from the site.

"We can confirm that MySpace has removed these individuals from our site and is providing data about these offenders to any law enforcement agency including the Attorney General's in Connecticut," MySpace's Chief Security Officer Hemanshu Nigam said in a statement.

Cyberstalking on the Increase

The lucky ones need only change their e-mail address or return goods they did not order. At worst, however, cyberstalking victims end up with a ruined reputation or a plundered bank account.

Cyberstalking takes many forms. And the abuse of personal data on the internet to play tricks on people or exert pressure on them is growing, experts say. Cultivation of one's web image and more careful use of personal data can help prevent trouble, however.

A general term used by lawyers and law enforcement authorities for internet offences, cyberstalking is "an artificial concept" that still lacks a precise definition, explained Berlin lawyer Ulrich Schulte am Huelse. Basically, it covers the various ways people are harassed and stalked via the internet.

The risk of victimization rises with the frequency of internet use, experts say.

German police have no statistics on cyberstalking. "It's probably on the increase. We don't keep a record of offences under this heading," said Frank Scheulen, spokesman for North Rhine-Westphalia's State Office of Criminal Investigation, in Dusseldorf.

"As the new media grow and spread, it stands to reason that cyberstalking is growing as well," remarked Professor Harald Dressing, a member of the Mannheim-based Central Institute of Mental Health.

The consequences include personal affronts along with practical problems. "Using other people's names, cyberstalkers buy and sell goods in online and mail-order transactions. They publish harassing homepages and blogs, and commit punishable offenses," Scheulen noted.

He said that sending unwanted e-mails was also common, as was the unauthorized publication or manipulation of photographs or purported statements with suggestive content by the victim.

Most cases of cyberstalking are due to the careless use of personal data on the internet. Victims should notify the police as soon as it occurs, Scheulen said.

"Then the police can trace the perpetrator through the internet service provider and IP address," he added.

If the police have been notified, a warning, cease-and-desist order and damages claim have a good chance of success, noted Schulte am Huelse, who recommended that victims document cyberstalking from the beginning in preparation for legal action.

Careful use of the internet and personal data helps prevent cyberstalking. "Don't reveal personal information such as hobbies or preferences," Scheulen advised. Most importantly, telephone numbers, addresses and names should not be published in chat rooms, he said, because "you don't know who's lurking in the web and to what use the data will be put."

Dressing said that users of social and business networking websites should only allow friends and acquaintances to access their personal profile. After all, he pointed out, no one runs around the centre of town wearing a sign showing their personal data.

ORIGINAL

REVENGE.COM: HOW THE INTERNET FUELS THE BATTLE OF THE EXES

by Katy Guest
Famous people do it in the press, but the rest of us have always had to seek revenge on errant lovers in the courts, or by cutting up their clothes. Not any more. The internet is providing the perfect means for ordinary men and women to strike back at their exes.

Several websites have been set up to exploit the taste for vengeance, the latest of which is (now defunct) myexwifesabitch.com.

"Demonic, resentful and spiteful" is how one man describes his former partner during a lengthy rant about access to their daughter, who is named. He also describes his ex as "vindictive, malicious, mean and a cheat".

Most revenge sites are for women. But myexwifesabitch. com has been set up for men by Dave Schofield and Bryan Sibbald from Bristol.

"I went through a divorce and it ended up costing me over pounds 20,000," says Mr Schofield. "You end up financially stuffed and the worst thing is you are forced by law and by an angry ex-partner not to see your daughter.

"We wanted to help people get through the situation."

For a fee of pounds 25, members tell their own stories and look for friends in similar positions. "It's not anti-women," the site insists - although women may disagree. "In a world when the legal system penalises men and the world kowtows to women this is a great opportunity for men to stand up for themselves," it claims.

Mr Schofield is unrepentant about the name: "Every woman I have told the title to so far has laughed. My ex probably wouldn't, though."

Abused as she is, his ex-wife is at least allowed anonymity unlike the stars of www.cheated-on.com. The site was set up in June by Susan Hughes, 29, from Devon after she discovered that her dashing RAF pilot boyfriend had made like the hero of the song "Soldier, Soldier, Will You Marry Me?", and already had a wife.

So she got even, and created a forum for her fellow victims of infidelity. In the Cheats Gallery, devious exes are named and shamed. "For six quid for the bus fare he let my pet lizard lick Marmite from his nuts," writes one ex with admirable nonchalance, beside a named photo of the guilty man. "Revenge is a very natural human emotion," says Paula Hall, a relationship therapist with Relate. "How you decide to act on that varies. It can be constructive, very destructive or even illegal. But when it's done purely to hurt, one repercussion is the damage done to the self-esteem of the person doing the hurting."

Damaged self-esteem was not the only repercussion suffered by Paul Clarke when he took revenge on his unfaithful girlfriend. He created a website that showed videos of them making love, and told friends, family and colleagues. "I don't know who's seen this website," said his ex, Cara Whitehouse, in court. "My life is ruined." Clarke was jailed for three months.

So it may be worth thinking twice before visiting www.calastrology.com/spells and buying a "Retribution Spell" for your partner, or selling your "unwanted gift from a low-life rat" on eBay, like Sam Jones did when her partner denied paternity of her baby. But Thea Newcomb, of www.soyouvebeendumped.com thinks she has a better answer.

"SYBD is about positive revenge," she says. Since the site was set up, Ms Newcomb has helped dozens of cheated partners sell their stories to newspapers and magazines, and they have made a fortune.

"She went to university and from then on she started cheating on me. She is one of those girls that always gets her way and then gets away with all the bad things she has done. She even had sex with me after we broke up and was apparently in love with somebody else ... I can only imagine the stuff I haven't heard about her from my circle. Have I mentioned how much I hate her?"

A Welsh dumpee tells www.is-a-cheat.com about "Gemma":

"He had three long-term girlfriends (that we know of) at once, spanning three years. None of them knew about the existence of the others. Two lived with him at different times in his flat. He spoke of marriage and children with all three of us! His explanation for periods of separation was his dedication to looking after his elderly grandmother."

A member of (now defunct) cheated-on.com dishes the dirt on Jason from Hampshire:

GETTING EVEN
Laura Milnes, 40, above, from Maltby, south Yorkshire, became involved with a married man when they met up again through the website Friends Reunited. Earlier this year she found he was cheating on her with several different women he had met on internet dating sites. Laura went to see his wife. Together, they worked out the password to his email account and Laura forwarded his intimate emails to everyone in his address book.

"I had it all ready to send but I was scared at first. I felt like I'd wasted a whole year of my life, being devoted to him, and it was all a sham. I thought, nobody will write back, nobody will say anything. So I sent it. But then I got all these emails saying, `How awful for you' and `Good for you' for doing it. I just wanted them to see that he was not the honest, nice family man that they thought; he was actually a pig."He didn't get back in touch until a week later. He wasn't angry or anything, he just said, `Why did you do it?' I said, `Impulse. I was just so angry with you.'

"He says he doesn't hate me. But we're not in touch.

"I'm glad I did it because when somebody does something bad to you, you get all chewed up and angry and bitter and you've got to release it. It's like when you have a big argument; you clear the air.

"It's ironic how our relationship started on the internet, and that is also how I got my revenge. I think it's called poetic justice! I would recommend it, it's very satisfying."

ORIGINAL ARTICLE

Social Networking Web Sites Encourage Cyberstalking

(EOPC has NEVER condoned the use of any social networking site for any reason. We don't use MySpace or Facebook ourselves. - Fighter)

by Shelby Hill

Many college students use Facebook.com daily without being aware of the cyberstalking threat.

When students put their phone numbers, addresses and other personal information on a social networking site like Facebook, they increase their chances of being a cyberstalking victim, said Michael Kaiser, executive director of the National Cyber Security Alliance.

January is National Stalking Awareness Month and Kaiser said that because people between the ages of 18-24 have the highest victimization rate, due to the popularity of Facebook and MySpace.com, it's important for students to protect themselves against cyberstalking.

"People should be really guarded in sharing personal information," Kaiser said. "I wouldn't suggest that the Internet is a place to write an autobiography."

According to the Pew Internet and American Life Project's January 2009 report about adults and social networking websites, 75 percent of Internet users in the 18-24 age group have a profile on a social networking Web site.

A social networking Web site is a place for people to connect with each other by creating a profile that each individual can customize with pictures, contact information and details about interests, such as music and movies, to reflect that person's personality. Kaiser said an e-mail address is usually the only information needed to become part of a social networking Web site.

Some tips Kaiser had for students were install a firewall, anti-spyware, use the highest privacy settings on social networking web sites and limit the information they put online.

Kaiser advised students that they should "be really careful about who you let into your circle."

Along with the active steps that students can take to protect themselves, Kaiser suggested that students enter their names into a search engine to see if they come across information that they didn't know was there.

"People don't even know sometimes how much information about them there is on the Web," Kaiser said. "People leave trails all over the Internet and stalkers will use those trails."

He said stalkers would use anything from an e-mail address to a phone number, street address or instant message, to stalk a victim.

Nick Penta, a pre-veterinary science freshman, said he thinks an ex-girlfriend stalked him over MySpace. He said she sent him several messages and viewed his profile about 20 times a day to learn about his new girlfriend.

Kaiser said stalking is defined as repeated actions that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.

Penta added that he wasn't scared of his ex's actions.

According to the U.S. Department of Justice's January 2009 report "Stalking Victimization in the United States," of the 3.4 million Americans who reported being stalked, 25 percent reported being cyberstalked through email or instant messaging.

Stephen Orlando, a pre-business freshman said he experienced the same jealous behavior by an ex, over the Internet.

According to the report, 75 percent of stalking victims were stalked by someone they knew.

"The vast majority of stalking is done by people who know each other," Kaiser said.

Even taking into account Orlando and Penta's experiences with exes over the Web, the two men have not chosen to make their Facebook profiles private and non-viewable to users whom they have not given permission.

Kaiser advised students to "use the highest privacy settings you can on any of the social networking sites."

Amy Cheng, a pre-physiology freshman, said her Facebook profile is private and she doesn't post her personal information on the page.

"I don't put anything on there that I wouldn't show my mom," Cheng said about information on her Facebook profile.

Emily Smith, an undeclared freshman, said that although her profile isn't private, she doesn't put any contact information on her Facebook profile.

She added that if she had more of an issue with cyberstalking she might consider changing her profile to private.

Orlando said that he thinks that cyberstalking is more of an issue for women than men.

"There's a lot more creeper stalker people looking for girls than guys," he said.

Penta said that the difference could be attributed to the fact that some women put relatively provocative photos on their individual profiles.

"They're easier targets, just because their pictures might be more revealing," Penta said.

Whatever the reason, the Department of Justice report did concede that women run a much greater risk for being victims of cyberstalking than men.

Whether the victim is a man or woman, the fact that friends and family support the stalking victim is crucial, Kaiser said.

For more information on cyberstalking, Kaiser said that students should visit the National Center for Victims of Crime's Web site, www.ncvc.org or the National Cyber Security Alliance's Web site, www.staysafeonline.org.