DOUG BECKSTEAD - NAILED!

EOPC has now heard from ANOTHER of Beckstead's Targets. We always recommend to talk to other Targets if they are open to it - just to validate that these cyberpaths DO have a script they follow -- and do it to everyone they can! NOT JUST YOU! Seems Beckstead follow the self-same pattern all Cyberpaths do. No surprise there. Now he's got 2 traumatized women under his "keyboard" and where there's 1 or 2 - there's at least that many more!

Also, we'd like to remind you - the moment your suspected cyberpath says "don't talk to so-and-so because she's jealous/ obsessed with me/ stalking me/ a liar.. etc" MAKE IT YOUR BUSINESS TO GET IN TOUCH WITH THAT PERSON IMMEDIATELY! 99.99% of the time what the predator said about the other person(s) was a lie and they have some bad history with this person (aka - the person they are telling you not to talk to knows the truth about them!) Your talking to others stops the predator's "CLOSED SYSTEM OF LOGIC." Do it asap!

EOPC's comments are in purple.


An excerpted email from one of Beckstead's hapless targets to a fellow target:

From: PXXX
Date: Apr 18, 2007 4:49 PM
To: xxxxxxxx@XXX.com

HI xxxxxx,

I am not sure if I plan on writing him or not. I have thought about it, just to say shame on you for hurting so many people.

I want you to know that if I had ever known that you were a part of his life, I would never have talked with him like I did. I am a very naive and trustful person, even of those on the internet and believed him to be what he claimed he was. Unfortunately I have learned that there are many people who are not as they claim to be, and the internet provides a safety net to hide behind. He obviously used this many times.

I take a small bit of responsibility for my part when Doug and I were talking. I wanted to believe what he was saying, and I knew that there was a huge risk in trusting someone who I had no real access to. But, lessons have been learned from such experiences.

Be strong for yourself and XXXXX. Everyday will be better than the one before. If you want to tell him that I know that is up to you. I can handle him no problem. I wish that we would have talked 3 years ago and maybe this all would have had a different outcome.

Have a wonderful day.
XXX
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From his Target:
Update on Douglas Beckstead. I found out that he is already stringing along yet another woman and her MSN display name is "kittenXXX" with her nickname being "TrishXXX".

I have not contacted her. As much as I would love to be the whistle blower, she probably would not believe me. There are no other details on her that I can find, but he has listed her as his only "friend" on MSN spaces live and vice versa, she with him. Almost advertising the fact I would say. I don't know what made me check his MSN space (normal suspicion - be glad you did!), but i decided to do so. (surprise! NOT)

He recently contacted me again and sent an ecard with a rather weak apology for "the craziness of the past few months". (trying to reel you back in via your compassion)

He then played the sympathy card again stating that both he and his family had been down, or rather were down with influenza type A (the pandemic variety), I almost believed it too. (boo hoo for Doug. Read our post about the "Martyr Man". Beckstead probably juggles more women than a circus act)

I had hoped to resolve our differences and put an end to all the bitterness that has transpired. More fool me. His games continue. (all of us would like to heal and put things right with them. We invested time & energy on these predators only to be treated like nothing. If you read back over our other predators - many targets try this. Its a normal reaction - however - they are NOT normal people)

(Click here to see what's happened with another target who tried to 'bury the hacket' with her cyberpath)

Let's see what sort of 'cover stories' Beckstead tries to fling at this target now:
From: Doug Beckstead
Subject: RE: Hi
Date: Mon, 26 Mar 2007

Hi!

This was not a good weekend for me. I thought whatever it was that knocked me down for the previous two was trying to come back. I've been coughing to the point of almost fainting. Not fun. (aaaawwwww. boo hoo)

I don't have a clue who kittenXXX and TrishXXX are. Please don't start making something out of something that isn't there.

I'm sorry that I didn't respond immediately. We were on the way out the door when I started the computer up and I had every intention of responding when I got home. We're playing "bus driver" for the kids with their jobs and sometimes I like to go pick them up just to shop around their stores for a little while. (so you are THAT sick, but you are running around with the kids - your ADULT children? Aren't you a great guy (NOT))

Has the doctor given you anything else to help out with your flu/asthma? It sounds like whatever they've given you isn't working very well. I sure hope you get on the mend really soon! (wow, he actually acknowledges this target for once. Probably to try to reel her back in yet again... throw her a crumb of attention)

One of the other historians at the office is moving on Saturday. XXX and I are going to help her. Should be pretty easy as she has virtually no furniture. I expect it won't take more than an couple of hours. (now he's deathly sick but he's helping someone move... right?)

I hope you're feeling better!!! (he hopes you believe his b.s.)

hugs!

Doug
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Second response sent from Beckstead to his Target.
Here Beckstead is frantically trying to cover his lies further now; as he knows that I know he would have had to have accepted her invitation and vice-versa.

Does he ever give up and just tell the truth? No.

As for the "Aviator" guy, no he is not on his list, he never had an excuse for that though. Give it up Beckstead.

Notice how "sick" he always seems to be, always has to out do everyone at everything. Even illness. (because he's a malignant narcissist)
From: Doug Beckstead
Subject: RE: Hi
Date: Mon, 26 Mar 2007

Hi!

Boy, you sound like you are having as bad a go of it as we have had up here on our end of the world. (set up...)

As for the XXXXX and MSN space, I don't use MSN space. Someone sent me a message about adding me to theirs a long time ago and I probably set it up then. the only "kitten" person I can think of would have been that woman who went by Kitty at the VIP. There was also someone there a long time ago who's name was Trisha. I don't remember what her "stage name" was. (never his fault,is it? this is a total lie and the second time he wrote about Target's questioning him - because he knows she's nailed him. Wonder if he denies, denies, denies to wife & friends too?

Like any good cyberpath he's determined to keep at the denial and lies until she believes him. If she doesn't - he'll go on the smear attack like they all do. And we bet he's probably deleted his MSN SpacesLive now too... and he'll swear it never existed! Like gridney/ Yidwithlid swears his 'hooker reviews' never happened either... or Jacoby swears he never photoshopped pictures of his Targets to extort silence from them... LOL)

If you saw the list, you'll probably also see someone called "Aviator" he's a buddy of mine from my college days. Aviator and I share e-mails a lot. As for the others, I wouldn't even know how to get into whatever MSN is using for IM stuff these days. XXX just changed their whole look and I'm still working on trying to figure it out. (he's just soooo confused!! lol and full of B.S.)

XXX and I went out to dinner tonight (the kids are all working). Something didn't go right. I came in the door from the car, walked straight to the bathroom and up came everything I ate. Not fun. Even being sick didn't cause me to do that. (poor Doug poor poor Doug... LOL! he's such a drama queen!)

Cheers!

Me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Squirrels are Nature's little speed bumps.
(apparently this is how Doug considers all his Targets)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don't forget readers, Beckstead was accused of sexual misconduct with a young person (see the prior post on him) so now see who used to play "Santa" for the locals:
Yes... that's Beckstead... Distrubing isn't it?

More GLORY HUNTING & SELF PROMOTION from Beckstead: CLICK HERE
He's been back on his usual boards, posting away about what a great guy he is, posting about stuff he's done for his work and accusing anyone who exposes him of being the sick one!!

These cyberpaths just HATE it when the real-life people they've been using like objects - say "OUCH! YOU HURT ME" don't they? Hold them accountable!

Here's a badge for your collection Cyberpath-Beckstead:

UPDATE!
Beckstead (Mr. Do-Gooder/ Selfish Glory Hunter/ This Isn't About My Job - It's About ME ME ME) gets more press on his work assignments. He's posted links for all to see online to try to cover the REAL (predator) Doug Beckstead. Click any of the links below to check him out!:

MORE ON BECKSTEAD

FEEL FREE TO VISIT BECKSTEAD'S WEBPAGE & SIGN THE GUESTBOOK!

ARLINGTON FINAL RESTING PLACE FOR PILOT'S REMAINS

B-24 PILOT BURIED AT ARLINGTON

WWII B-24 PILOT LAID TO REST AT ARLINGTON

LOST PILOT NO MORE

ONE OF BECKSTEAD'S FAVORITE SITES FOR HIS SELF-PROMOTION

Ain't he special? We see through the shameless self-plugs, don't we! Beckstead, like all predators, uses these things to show online targets what a 'great guy' he is. He's already got another one on the hook too!!

Beckstead uses these articles about his "great work" to prop up his assertions that he 'doesn't' target vulnerable women online and they are all just 'scorned' or crazy. Don't these guys ever think of new excuses? Is Beckstead really THAT DESIRABLE that women just FLOCK to have him? (plenty of him to go around from the looks of it)

Poor man, huh?

MORE BECKSTEAD ON THE WEB

BECKSTEAD - SEXUAL HARRASSER? NOT HIM!

(originally published in April 2007)
Here's a key email exchange with Beckstead & his target illustrating the depth of his lying and twisting things around to suit himself (like they all do).

It begins with this Target asking again for some straight answers. Beckstead of course, changes the story completely from what he had originally told her.

The word salad, gaslighting and twisting of reality again! (just like Hicks, Dorsky, Gridney/ YidwithLid, Thomas, Haberman, Clive...) The emails speak volumes by themselves. More lies. Painting himself as the victim. Same **** -- different receptable.

Remember these types are pathological and actually BELIEVE their lies as they are saying them. There is very little continuity of reality for them and they bend the truth to suit themselves.

And the damage to the emotional health of the targets is immense.

Our comments in purple. - Fighter
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To: dog_driver@XXX.com
Subject: Very Important
Date: Mon, 29 Jan 2007
Hi,

I need to ask you an important question. You probably won't like it, but I need to know. You told me the story of how you had to leave Anchorage all of those years ago because of that sexual harassment suit against you in Anchorage.

You said that the woman had sexually harassed you, but she turned it around on you and you were fighting it but ran out of cash etc. (lies, projection - we'd bet he just ran away and left with no closure. Ns rarely fight unless they have money & friends in high places.)

You said that you could not stay in Anchorage that is why you had to move away to Fairbanks to work.

Well how come now, as in late last year, you could move back there to Anchorage and live and work after everything that you told me i thought that you could never return to live and work?? (may not even have been a true story... or partly true... or he is on the lam...?? This is very good catch on this target's part - of his LIES LIES LIES.)

I really would appreciate an honest answer to this ASAP. I think of all the questions you have refused to answer, ignored or just plain diverted around, I need to know. And I need to know the full story about those kids in XXX. I need some truth and honesty. You owe me that much.

Was any of that true or just used as a sympathy ploy? Not accusations, but you started to tell the story and I should have pushed for answers then and there. I need the answers now, in full. (poor target, she thinks he's going to be honest with her? Well, she's probably JUST catching on that he's PATHOLOGICAL. Cyberpaths are incapable of truth or honesty no matter WHAT THEY SAY OR HOW YOU ASK. and he's going to be angry because she KNOWS the truth. They all get angry with those that figure them out.)

Please don't try and talk around it as I know what was said and written at the time. (but he will anyway) I do not want to fight but I deserve to know the truth. (you do but you will never get it) It has bothered me a great deal of late, especially in light of everything else that has taken place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To: " Doug Beckstead"
Subject: Re: Very Important
Date: Tue, 30 Jan 2007

Thanks for answering this straight away. But, I don't understand why she, your (former boss) would want to sleep with you, when, as you said, she was "climbing the ladder horizontally".

What would she have stood to gain from sleeping with you? As you said she was your boss, not the other way around. Surely she would have chosen someone above her station in the company, in order to get what she wanted? And surely she would have known that you were married with kids etc? (because that's a cyberpath's STOCK ANSWER: 'she's scorned,' 'she's obsessed with me,' 'she's after me,' 'she won't let go,' blah blah blah blah. The reality is usually that the woman got sick of HIS harrassment or lying or whatever. In Beckstead's mind - he's the most desirable man on the planet. LOL)

And you DID say that you had to leave Anchorage because of her in order to get work to support your family, that things were so bad there at the time? Your story has changed a lot. And I always remember you telling me of two children walking to school in XXX, that you stopped to offer them a lift and things were said by their father?

Was that after the teenager incident then? I have to ask because things have changed somewhat and I have a different set of stories in the memoirs. (BINGO!)

These new versions seem odd, especially as they were held back by you for so long. Does not add up.

Similar to XXX and the letters from your friends being withheld and you not finding out until years down the track.

Something else that is odd, did you realise XXX was listed down as having lived in Fairbanks at your address in XXX Street as well? It is listed on zabasearch.

Just thought you should know.
me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On 1/30/07,
Doug Beckstead wrote:

No, no, no, no, no, you've got everything all mixed around. (gosh this sounds like Gridney/ Yidwithlid trying to rewrite reality... they ALL try to make you think YOU got it wrong or to bend time & space. The mixed up one is BECKSTEAD.)

I have not had any sexual harrassment suit against me. I had a former boss in Anchorage (a female) get all pissed off at me because I would not sleep with her. I found out about it a few years later from another woman I used to work with in the NPS in Anchorage. She and I were good friends and it bothered her when she learned some of the things that supervior had done to try and sabotage my career. She is the one I've told you about who is climbing the ladder at the NPS horizontally. She sleeps with anyone who she thinks she can get ahead with. That's also one reason why I couldn't figure out what her interest was in me. (because Doug is oh so desirable! remember LURES OF THE ONLINE PREDATOR: 'make yourself an object of desire')

As for the one teenager in XXX, her parents started rumors about me after I was attacked by their dog and had my hand and side seriously injured. I think it was an attempt to try and get something going against me to try and fight off a potential lawsuit I might bring against them over their dog. I had no intention of suing them to begin with. (say what??)

Again it was a number of years later that I found out about the rumors. I learned about it, again from two co-workers who lived in XXX. In both cases I asked them why they did not say anything when they were happening and both of them said that they (and everyone else in XXX) knew that they were just lies.

That's all there is to it. (because that's all the lying I am going to do right now?)

Me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Doug Beckstead
Date: Jan 30, 2007 2:25 PM
Subject: Re: Very Important

I don't have any idea why my former boss wanted to sleep with me. It happens to be that sexual harrassment on the job goes both ways. It is becoming more and more frequent today as more and more women are moving into positions of authority. I am only going on what I was told by a close friend. (notice how he moves the talk away from himself and his actions immediately... that last line about being told by a 'close friend'? Is a doozy!! Beckstead's so righteous! LOL)

Why is it that you seem to be so obsessed, and yes, it is clearly an obsession on your part, about trying to dig up anything you can on me and my background. (why do you think Doug? You played with her mind & her emotions? Spoke to her CHILDREN!?

It gets BORING how all these cyberpaths call their targets obsessed persons & stalkers as soon as the Target figures them out or asks for answers. It must be in their playbook)

As for XXX being listed at my XXX Fairbanks I have no idea why nor anything about it. As for your zabasearch that is getting pretty damn close to stalking me if you are trying to search out every little bit of information on me. (here we go - she's 'a stalker'. And Beckstead - you're a lying cyberpath. She did NOTHING illegal. Zabasearch is a public website with PUBLIC information. You encouraged her interest, you lied to her, you toyed with her & her children. You pursued her. You caused her distress and now because she asked for an HONEST ANSWER, she's 'a stalker.' Can't these predators think of something new? Beckstead you truly are pathetic.)

As for the situation in Anchorage, you are confusing a number of different issues and topics. (here comes the word salad) I had to go back to Fairbanks because after my park was combined with another park when the superintendent of my park retired for medical reasons, I was forced to work under a woman who was a radical lesbian who quite literally hated men. (ok here it goes - this boss probably didn't like Doug, saw what he was - so now she's 'a lesbian.' And what's wrong with lesbians. Is this the same boss who tried to supposedly "seduce him"?) It was a well known fact. (gosh they all say "it was a fact" or "this is the truth" or "a true story" or "everyone knows"... yeah right, maybe on your planet, Beckstead)

I was forced to return to Fairbanks to keep my job. I had been working for the park out of Fairbanks since 1994 when I moved to Fairbanks to take a job to further my career. (is that even a complete sentence?) My superintendent's retirement was a surprise to all involved. The park had personnel problems dating back many years prior to my accepting the position there. (yes, couldn't be Beckstead could it? anyone BUT Beckstead)

After XXXXX retired pressure was put on the remaining staff to either leave the organization or to quit. I chose to fight for what was rightfully mine. When I requested the opportunity to work from Anchorage doing the same job, for the same administration (park) it was denied by the same supervisor (this is not the one who wanted me to sleep with her). (The verbal diarrhea here is all over the place - he must be angry that he'd had to think up YET ANOTHER cover story that incorporated all his old lies, like gridney/ YidwithLid - sheesh he should have contacted Lissa Daly for help with this one. This is where they all trip up over time; keeping THEIR OWN LIES STRAIGHT.)

There are many others working for the NPS in Alaska who have been working from duty-stations remote from their parks (specifically working from the Anchorage office). This request was denied to me on the grounds, and I quote, "Because we can." I filed a law suit against the NPS for discrimination. In the end I invested approximately $5,000 in attorney's fees and the suit was never settled because they managed to run me out of money. Had I the resources to continue the fight I would have won. (of COURSE you would have Beckstead... the Equal Opportunity Employment people would have helped you IF you'd had a real case... $5K or not. This is another assertion that you're a martyr)

As for the bits and pieces of things from XXX that you are obviously confusing, the part about running into them in town comes from the fact that when I originally told you what happened, I stated that I had been at their house thinking that XXX was home as I had seen XXXX and the girls in town a short time earlier. (word salad... tossed... a few times)

When I walked up to the house their dog ran out barking and acting aggressive and yet at the same time friendly toward me. When I reached down to pet him, he attacked me severely injuring my hand and in a second assault biting my left side. (Animals always know, don't they?) I managed to get back into my truck and drive back toward town and on the way I met XXX and XXXX (he was not in the truck when I saw them earlier). XXX and I went to the village clinic where I was bandaged up and received a large antibiotic shot. (notice how he's embellished even more on this story... next thing you know he's going to be rushed by Medivac out of Alaska or something!)

I decided to spend another night in XXX and not drive the 400 miles back to XXX that day. When I was checking into the motel I learned that I was the third person the dog had attacked. The townspeople were quite upset about the whole thing. (the whole town is up in arms over Beckstead's dog bite?)

After the attack, XXX and XXXX paid for my follow-up doctor visits -- which I felt was only fair given the fact that it was their dog that attacked me. (of COURSE, he felt it was fair - not that uh... its the law and their homeowners insurance would have demanded it - Beckstead the Almighty (like King Solomon) felt it was only fair)

Four years later I first learned about the rumors that they had started in town. (rumors... hmmm...) They were afraid that I would sue them over the incident. They knew full well that they were at fault and that they had a vicious dog. Had I known what they were doing after it happened I certainly would have brought a suit against them. (how dare they talk about the great Doug Beckstead?)

I asked the individual who told me about it why he hadn't said anything earlier and he said, "Because we (meaning the townspeople) all knew it was a lie." Several years later I asked another friend about it and he said the same thing. (years & years later? so the whole town stood by you huh? Defend Sir Beckstead!)

If you don't believe me, and it is quite apparent to me that you don't, then I am just going to walk away and not look back. (read: thank you for giving me an excuse to dump you and make it seem as if you are at fault.) You who seem to think you have all the facts down pat are obviously fixated on something (here he goes again - gaslighting and saying his target is "fixated" when she's obviously confused by Beckstead's non-stop B.S.), and you are wrong almost across the board. I received half a dozen text messages (several of them were broken into pieces for whatever reason the phone does that) from you all of which contained more angry accusations. (Truth hurts don't it Doug? Especially when one of your OBJECTS that you like to deal with only when you are online, asks be treated like a HUMAN BEING! Sounds again like Dorsky, gridney/ Yidwithlid, Hicks, Campbell... when the Target finds out and demands humane treatment - they see what they were to these predators: PREY)
I do not owe you an apology for anything. (because cyberpaths & narcissists never apologize because they are 'never wrong') If I am sorry about anything then it is that I am sorry for confiding personal information in the first place. (and for not being able to keep it all straight)

As for the future, that's not going to happen again. Ever. (you're right its not... now everyone knows. You're busted!)

MORE ON BECKSTEAD

FEEL FREE TO VISIT BECKSTEAD'S WEBPAGE & SIGN THE GUESTBOOK!

ONE OF BECKSTEAD'S TARGETS SHARES MORE OF DOUG'S E-BOMBS

We have a bunch of emails that Beckstead sent one of his Targets that we decided not to take up bandwith with. They just went on & on & on about Beckstead's favorite subject: HIMSELF. They read like the "all Beckstead all the time" channel. Even if we didn't know he was a predator - it was supremely egotistical and tedious.

This is very much like our predators Ed Hicks and Brad Dorsky. Doug really is a classic destructive narcissist - mostly in love with himself and only wanting to spend time with anyone that reflects the obsession he has with the object of all his affection: Doug Beckstead.

As always our comments are in purple.

One of his Targets tells us:
I was so hurt by Doug's accusations and lies. After I had busted Doug in the Virtual Irish Pub with a not so nice woman by the nickname of "Kitty" (she's a well known female player on that site). He wrote me and accused me of impersonating her! (typical, typical - he got busted so he's going to put YOU on the defensive. Gaslighting and Projection. Also notice despite 'Kitty's' reputation, Doug doesn't mind using whoever or whatever suits him at the time because no one is real to ole' Doug nor does he really care).

Doug never apologised for this attack on me! He sent an email back sometime later saying that "it must have been someone else then" and changed the subject after insulting my friend for something he had written. (they NEVER apologize - because they are NEVER wrong!)

CLICK HERE TO READ: HOW TO NOT APOLOGIZE WHEN YOU'VE SERIOUSLY MESSED UP. This is CLASSIC of cyberpaths - they NEVER TRULY APOLOGIZE. EVER!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>From: "Doug Beckstead"
>Subject: Greetings!
>Date: Fri, 16 Mar 2007 18:10:59 -0800
>
>
>Hi!
>
>Well, I stayed home again today. I'm planning on going back to work on Monday. I was all set to go in this morning, showered, dressed, and even had breakfast. (me, I, my....)

XXX came out to the living room and said "Gee, you sure aren't coughing very much anymore." And, just like clockwork I went into a coughing fit. So I waited until 7:00 when my boss should have been in and called in sick again. This damn influenza really sucks. I slept until noon again today, and probably could have stayed in bed even longer. I'm planning on sleeping in tomorrow. (oh geee Poor Poor Dougie!! boo hoo. His emails were full of how tired he was, how sick he was, how his family didn't care about him, how put out he was by his job, by other people... Martyr Man!)

Psychopaths have only a shallow range of emotions and lack guilt, says Dr. Hare. They often see themselves as victims, and lack remorse or the ability to empathize with others. "Psychopaths play on the fact that most of us are trusting and forgiving people," adds Seto. "The warning signs are always there; it's just difficult to see them because once we trust someone, the friendship becomes a blinder." -- SOURCE

(Now Beckstead launches immediately into more blather about himself:)
This afternoon I had a very enjoyable conversation with XX, the brother of Lt XXX, the pilot of the B-24. The Army contacted him yesterday and gave him the news about the remains being positively identified. He also told me that in the conversation they had, the Army rep told him that Lt XXX is entitled to be buried at Arlington National Cemetery in Washington DC with all the pomp and circumstance afforded fallen officers. This includes a caisson drawn by four horses to carry the coffin, a miltary band, honor guard, bugler and firing squad.

>The senator from Maine (the state they are from) has been a huge help with the whole process. She wants to come to the funeral at Arlington and to the memorial service they want to hold in Maine as well. According to Mr. XXX, she is also making arrangements for a VIP tour of the Whitehouse when the funeral is held. And, he said that they want me to be part of the group. (the White House will be so HONORED - Doug Beckstead is coming!)

While we were on the phone, his wife called to him and told him to make sure that he told me that none of this would have been possible had it not been for me. It was sure nice to hear it from him. (Wow!! Beckstead's such a wonderful guy - Of course he's GOT to make sure the whole world knows what a wonderful, altruistic person he is... gag)
>
>The funeral will not be until July at the earliest. So, I've got some time to lose some weight so I'll fit into my suit. Or to save up some scheckles to buy a new one for the funeral. (no comment - BTW, Doug took a picture of himself at the funeral and PHOTOSHOPPED it to slice off a pound or twenty -- see below)
>I hope you're having a good weekend so far. (this is the FIRST AND ONLY TIME HE ACKNOWLEDGES THE TARGET or ANYONE ELSE - IN THIS WHOLE EMAIL! and LOADS of his emails were JUST THE SAME)
>
>Cheers!
>
>Doug
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doug FREAKS out when one of his Targets got a little suspicious and joked that she looked up his address on ZABASEARCH. Which ANYONE can do!! As we say - just tell them you are looking them up or doing a background check and if they freak out? RUN!!! Honest & sincere people have nothing to hide.

From: Doug Beckstead
> Date: Mar 8, 2007 6:34 PM
> Subject: Zabasearch
>
> I have never lied to you about anything. My comment about "obsession" was brought on when you were searching out information, which was inaccurate to begin with, about my address in Fairbanks. I have never lied to you and I never led you on.
(This should really read: 'I have lied to you about EVERYTHING, absolutely everything. I have blown myself and my reputation up to God-like proportions and will make sure you never meet me to see what a loser I truly am. Beside, you mean nothing to me but an online sex toy who will worship me... and if you don't worship me - you're GONE!
I am freaked out that you are searching on me and now I am going to tell everyone you are a stalker and fixated on me - [all cyberpaths call those who might/ or do find out the truth "jealous stalkers"] -- I hope people believe me and I will say all manner of lies about you to make sure they are on my side!)
>
> I've missed your e-mails. (read: I need to reel you back in don't I? I can't chance losing control of you now that I've used & abused you!)
>
> Doug

[Psychopaths] are remorselessly vindictive when thwarted or exposed. - Source

> *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> **Squirrels are Nature's little speed bumps. (apparently so are Beckstead's online 'friends' in his eyes)
> **~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

UPDATE: the subject matter in the email concerning Beckstead's trips in July 2007 to both Arlington, VA and Maine is all being tied into his next book. It concerns the B-24 crash that took place in Alaska back in 1943.

There is NO DOUBT he will use this book as part of his latest lure to reel in more targets. ("see what a great & important man I am - I write books!!") This is the manner (lure) in which he used his first book 'A World Turned Upside Down'.

He uses all of this information about his expeditions, findings, meetings with important people and events (which are part of his JOB!) to gain your trust. He uses these people to as "cover" behind because they all buy what a genuine and passionate guy he is about his job. He is a historian but to hear him tell it - it's not because of the job - it's because HE is THE Doug Beckstead. (A legend in his own mind)

"Their performance is generally erratic, with chronic absences, misuse of company resources and failed commitments. ...Seto talks of a [psychopath] who would get marketing jobs based on his image; he was a presentable and charming man who layered his conversations with educational and occupational references." -- SOURCE

It is this facade provided by his job that he uses to hide his true nature: which is [like all sociopathic types] cold, calculating, selfish and very manipulating. He is the classic predator: very convincing until you ask questions about his personal life or question the facts he gives out. He becomes nasty, hateful and accusatory. That is when the real Beckstead is revealed.

Cyberpaths NEVER learn any lesson. They sit quietly and bide their time - hoping things calm down and their Targets forget -- until they are ready to strike again - and strike again they ALL do. (look at Ed Hicks - he's back online, using new pseudonyms & telling the same lines and using the same methodology) Look closely at both of these recent posts below - read Beckstead's own words carefully.

Douglas Beckstead, like ALL CYBERPATHS, is a true chameleon who embellishes on any small truth for a cause - that cause? DOUG BECKSTEAD! This is how predators do it - they sprinkle their b.s. with bits of truth to make it all seem much more plausible.

Below he puts his own spin of words on his true occupation - embellishing himself as a practically a war hero! The reality? Beckstead has NEVER served in the military. He IS a civilian currently employed as a historian by the Air Force. Nothing more. (Like Thomas, who tells people he is CIA and Special Ops and the CIA, etc have NEVER heard of him! Or Phil Haberman who fakes his credentials both online & off.)

Make no mistake, Beckstead is being watched closely since the original exposure. He believes he is doing a lot of damage control with the: "look at me, I'm a good and decent guy" routine (gridney/ Yidwithlid is still doing this with his own website; Jacoby plays the concerned friend and helper to lure his Targets) will manage to con more people into his web of deceit. He even thinks he can get his buddies to write sites like EOPC to stick up for him if he can con them into believing this act too.

Beware ALL CYBERPATHS DO THIS - and it is all a grandiose put-on to maximize their own over-blown egos. Don't be the next to fall for someone like Beckstead's or any other cyberpath's embellishment, misleading and twisting of the truth and his pathological games.

"Psychopaths don't discriminate who it is they lie to or cheat," says Seto. "There's no distinction between friend, family and sucker." ...a psychopath rarely stays in a relationship for the long term, and often is involved with three or four partners at once, says Willson.

To a psychopath, everything about a relationship is a game. -- SOURCE

Beckstead's Comments:
"Really there's no difference (between military and civilians here). We're eating together, working together and living together. We're all in it together," Mr. Beckstead said. "I really try to break down that barrier of 'I'm a civilian and you're enlisted.' I like the fact we're wearing the same uniform. I just try to blend in as much as I can. We're all in the same fight together and we all have the same goal."

THIS COMMENT IS FROM THIS ARTICLE

Beckstead uses any opportunity, even the review of a music CD, for shameless-self-promotion (gridney/ Yidwithlid is a big on with this all-me-all-the-time also) Note the highlighted portion:

Fantastic !!!
author: Doug Beckstead
I ordered the CD while sitting over here in Iraq, believe it or not, I am actually at Mortaritaville (which is not Baghdad but Balad Air Base). I have listened to the CD so many times that I am afraid I have already worn the plastic coating off it. Or maybe its this damn Iraqi dust. Either way, the songs are great and as others have said, they really sum up what it's all about being here.

I hope they don't mind, but I used the song "We Hate Terrorists" as the background music for a slide show I did about the work we do on the helipad transporting wounded patients from the helos to the ER. It really summed up our feelings as we've dealt with men, women and even children (America, Iraqi and other nationalities) who have been blown up, shot, and in just plain bad situations. Thanks guys, I really enjoy the CD and have been pushing it on others recommending that they buy it too!

FROM THIS ONLINE SOURCE

Others have referred to "The dark side of normal - a psychopathy-linked pattern called aberrant self-promotion." (European Journal of Personality)

The personality attributes include:

• grandiosity
• pathological lying and deception
• superficial charm
• lack of empathy, guilt or remorse
• failure to accept personal responsibility
• shallow affect
• exploititiveness
  
• manipulativeness
  
• defensiveness in response to criticism
  
• need for dominance - with the primary reason to further their own self-interest.

- SOURCE

DOUG BECKSTEAD - A TEXTBOOK CASE OF CYBERPATHY

At their core - most Cyberpaths are Narcissistic and/or Sociopathic types. Here's some input from other victims who posted to WikiAnswers on Narcissistic types - see how much fits our review of Predator: Doug Beckstead! (as always EOPC's comments are in dark blue)

* They are the biggest liars you've ever seen. They will look you right in your eyes, swear on a stack of bibles and tell you the biggest lie you've ever heard. They will say they're not going to do something, while plotting to do just what they say they wouldn't do. They're very out of touch with their feelings. They talk just to hear themselves talk - while not believing anything they're trying to convince you of.

* It will become obvious very soon: an over-inflated ego. Astonishing lies.

* A narcissist is, at first glance, a friendly, real person. This is the narcissist's bait. The person lures people in, only to control them, in any shape or form. You will not recognize this, but as time progresses, you will feel guilty. The most important thing to recognize is that you need to live your own life and not be controlled by a narcissist. They steal your relationships with people and haunt your feelings. They are a very special, wicked breed of people, who get away with what they do. My advice: be careful with who you meet; don't be misled.

* They will relate to the problems in your life, claiming that something very similar has happened to them. They make it sound like they and they alone truly understand and relate to you. They get you to share very personal things and make you feel like you've found someone who has been through what you have been through. And it's very comforting.

* It is difficult at first since they try to charm. Some traits: They have no real sense of humor; They manipulate and control; They talk but only to hear themselves; dominate conversations; They try to give people their opinions; They love attention; They are cheap.

* I am always surprised at their ability to brainwash people:

Everything they say is exaggeration, deception or lie.

Everyone word out of their mouth is 1) self praise or, 2)cut someone or some group down.

Biggest clue is that when they get done talking to you, you are left with a negative impression of someone, but the narcissist never came right out and said anything directly. They may have make snippy remarks or caustic comments about someone they say they know - but of course they will make sure you never interact with this person to find out for yourself!

* Narcissists are by definition liars. They appear to be something they are not. They seem educated, confidant, charming, and social. They are master manipulators and total control freaks. They have no emotions and are void of empathy. They feel for no one but themselves.

They are a bottomless pit that is never satisfied. They are incapable of giving and receieving true love.

They think they are better than everyone else, always right and never wrong, and their way is always the best way to do anything. They love attention.

They think only of themselves, but make you believe they are thinking of your best interests.

Their time is precious to them and you do not deserve any of their time unless it is to their benefit.

You exist solely to please them. To them, you are less than human, you are not worthy of their mere presence.

* Constant talking and praising while putting others down. They always know more about any topic than you do, and when they are unfamliar with the topic insists on immediately changing the topic.

Forgets their friends and families birthdays, and doesn't care about it; while at the same time expecting huge parties and lavish gifts for their own birthday.

Lies easily, and with such ease that it is difficult to detect, since it is so common.

Always wants more from you; you could never give enough.

Competes with people on every dimension; if you are sick, you should feel sorry for THEM since they feel bad that you are sick.

Never goes out of their way for anyone, even a dying "best" friend.

Thinks he is entitled to everything in the world; does not expect to earn anything.

He dominates (or tries to) any social gathering.

He sees himself as extremely talented and extraordinarily bright, more than most of the world.

No empathy with other people.

* Unfortunately you dont really detect anything until they have made sure your hooked. But I can list the most obvious traits I had in my nightmarish experience:

1. Will lie blatantly

2. Will lie about who they are, what they do, and even what they had for breakfast if they feel like it.

3. It's all about them and their problems and their needs all the time, if you try to tell them about you....disinterest will appear, and they lead it back to them.

4. Your emotions and feelings and needs mean nothing...you are only there for their needs...end of story.

5.Their moods and emotions are extreme...and one night they can be crying and sobbing and (sucking you dry for support) and the next day they havnt a worry in the world.

6. They will push, beg and cajole push for what they want until you succumb to their wishes or needs regardless of how you feel about it. (even saying "I love you" to get something they want out of you)

7. They have to be with people - can't be alone. They will keep partners with them with begging and lies while carrying on affairs with a number of other people.

8. They are never at fault, and even if they say it once or twice that they are...its only words to make them seem more human.

9. When they find other better fresher supplies of attention...you will become non-existant, until they may need you again one day when they may just rear their heads again and try and suck you back in.

10. They will be nice as pie to your face and turn around and tell the next person they see that you mean nothing to them.

11. They are master manipulators and use any information they have on you to control you and get them what they want.

12. Their emotions are shallow and have no meaning and everyone in their lives are nothing but a source of attention.

13. They say things that are so out there that you think they are from another planet.

With all this in mind, here's more from Beckstead's Target and more blather from Beckstead:

Doug and I had just had our first IM conversation in a long time and towards the end he dropped the bombshell about moving back home to Anchorage for good. (He probably already HAD moved back for good - unless maybe he was always there)

There had been no prior warning or mention of a new job. I was stunned and did not know how to respond to him after that. It was one of the rare occasions that he ever apologised to me. (But notice he apologizes but still tries to make her feel guilty for being upset with him! They all do this in one way or another. For example - Sammy Benoit/ Yidwithlid had the bad taste to tell one of his Targets ALLLL about having 'marital relations' with his wife. When this Target told him that was inappropriate and "too much information" -- Gridney/ YidwithLid's response? "But you told me to work on my marriage!"

Has yours ever done the "YOU said we should see other people?" or "I have a real life, you know" just to blame shift to you -- AFTER LETTING YOU KNOW THEY WANT YOU AROUND 24/7? Suddenly YOU'RE obsessed? We know different!)

At the end, the cad expected to keep everything the same, regardless of returning home to his wife, which says a lot about his character. This was the man that had said his "marriage was a marriage in name only". It was a marriage that he had originally hidden from me and after everything else he had told me, he went and did this. (wow what a guy! Got to feel sorry for the wife and all his other targets. Amazing how all cyberpaths somehow twist their ethics & morality to suit their needs)

FYI - Doug Beckstead's "children" are 21 (married) and 22.

The last paragraphs where he mentions getting his own place, he did and it never changed a thing. Except the distance between us grew greater, he had even less time to talk, chat. We barely got to speak to one another, it was worse than before, when he had house mates. (he got bored with you and probably had other targets going - typical narcissist/cyberpath)

I know now that was because xxx must have lived there for some time. According to zabasearch she did. And the second job was dropped well before the move to his own place, he neglected to tell me about that too, it was only after he slipped and was going out to "fix" a lot of things for ladies that needed his help and he was playing darts more frequently that I found out. (He was already doing these things well before he told you or mentioned them - its part of the degrade & devalue process meant to hurt you. They love for you to be the one to leave the relationship so they can play victim ("she left me and it really hurt") with a new target all over again.)

There were so many discrepancies to his stories. At the end of the day I never truly knew what was fact and what was fiction, as far as he was concerned. (Cyberpaths are notoriously incongruent with time, place & history. They love to bend time and lie. We never can tell what is real with them and sadly enough - neither do they)

From: "Doug Beckstead" <>
Subject: I'm Sorry
Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2006 17:44:48 -0800

It looks like you're upset with me again. I do not want to hurt you. (Yes you do - in fact you probably get off on knowing you upset her) I was hoping that you would be happy for me to finally be able to spend some time with my family rather than only over an occasional weekend. (there's that blame shifting again!)

I did not want to keep the news from you. And I did not tell you earlier because I did not want to burden you with extra problems while you were going through exams. (but I just couldn't wait to drop this bomb and further trauma bond you to me and my sick web of online mind games)

Why did you just drop offline? It made me feel really bad. (boo hoo... don't like it when she does it do you Doug? YOU should be the one doing that and controlling everything, right?)

Because I am going home does not change anything between us, at least not on my end it doesn't. (Because I am an amoral mind-game player who sees every woman as a potential whore for me and my massive ego - online or off)

love and hugs! (barf)

Doug
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I found this email from Doug to me from 2004.(we can all fill in the blanks here) This is when things started happening and I had questions I needed answering. (uh oh!) It took me a long while to get these answers out of him. (took him a while to think them up, too)

Again he talks around things, this is where the accusations of "name calling" (he accused me of, first stemmed from). Again it was not name calling on my part just a distinct notice at the down turn in his attention and his list of excuses. You will notice how he starts to turn the blame in on me. (if you have read our other stories - they all do this. PROJECTION and BLAME-SHIFTING)

From this email onwards he has accused me of "angry responses", when it was nothing but pure frustration at having to wait for answers that seemed deliberately delayed on his end. (With any cyberpath, they believe that they are entitled to their anger but no one is entitled to be angry at them for any reason. Its part of their sickness)

I never expected him to answer my emails straight away or answer them/open them at work as he has accused me of in the body of this letter. However, I did not expect to have wait for days on end, and have to keep asking the same questions to get an honest answer. (more blame-shifting; and you'd be waiting for a snowstorm in hell for an honest answer from a cyberpath)

Towards the end, last year I stopped writing as much and then he would ask me if "everything was alright", totally omitting the problem at hand. (Yes! Ed Hicks, Brad Dorsky, Gridney/ Yidwithlid, all did this when they didn't have their targets at their beck and call - but heaven forbid you ask THEM for accountability! They change the subject and never really answer the question - ON PURPOSE!)

As it turned out Beckstead's daughter's husband XXXX was jailed for 'malingering' in a Ketchican barracks (he was training to be a coast guard). XXXXX, Doug's son was going to Idaho to be with the mother of his child. (loads of 'responsible' people in the family we see... nod, wink)

Now the daughter and her husband live at home with them in Anchorage as does the son XXXXX, minus the son's girlfriend and baby. Doug wants them all under the same roof together, he has to have control of everything. (CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL & controlling the chaos too!)

It is a pity he could not have lived with them and been the father to them he should have been when they were growing up. (Maybe they learned their irresponsibility from him! - and can you imagine Beckstead giving up being the center of attention to a child? Besides, he wasn't much a man and couldn't possibly have been much of a father when he's out chasing his ego) I believe now he had planned everything out well in advance about moving back home, he truly thought that I would just carry on in the background to be picked up and dropped again at his whim. (they all do... you are just a mouse click when needed in their eyes)

In the past I would try to back out, but he became a bad habit for me that was hard to break. (addiction is more like it with these guys and they brainwash you very thoroughly) He had become first and foremost my closest confidant. (exactly what he wanted) However, when things went wrong I was his favorite scapegoat! (scapegoat? yes... textbook narcissistic cyberpath behavior)

I still to this day ask myself why he had to turn so nasty and why did he not just be straight with me. (Because he's mentally ill - probably some Cluster B Personality Disorder would be our guess) He would lie and expect all to be forgiven, that I should be happy for him, never mind that he had put me on an emotional roller coaster over the past few years. (if you read the other exposures - they ALL are like this - you aren't alone. Dorksy and Rodger turned their Targets into nervous wrecks, gridney/ YidwithLid sent Target #1 into the hospital a number of times - and Target #2 into a mental health hospital. Capers, Hicks, Jacoby, Bish, Thomas and Barber drove their Targets into intensive therapy and bankruptcy. Some targets even contemplate suicide.)

Beckstead says "he valued our relationship" I received an ecard very similar about two weeks before that last nasty email he sent to me (one of the first ones that I sent to you). A person who valued me so much would not have treated his family or me in the way he has. He obviously had no respect for any of us. (nope he didn't. None of them do. He probably picked up the verbiage from another card or something he read. If you read Hicks, Gridney/ Yidwithlid, Jacoby and Thomas - they all talk about their 'oh-so-deep feelings' for you... their feelings are actually about as deep as a puddle; if they have any at all.)

From: "Doug Beckstead"
Subject: Good Evenin'
Date: Fri, 28 Jul 2006 21:32:08 -0800

Hi!

I just got home. I needed a little "unwind" time so I stopped down at the XXXXXX for a couple of drinks -- and spent some of the time texting XXX and XXXXX. Friday evenings are usually a lot of fun because the "regulars" are down there after work. Have you ever seen the tv show "CHEERS"? The XXXXX is a lot like the Fairbanks version of the bar in the show. The regulars are just that, regulars. And everybody eventually gets to know everybodies names and you never know when someone else is going to be buying a drink for you -- but it is expected that you will return the favor, if not that evening then on another. It's a real friendly bar. And XXX, the owner, treats our XXX team really well too so I like to patronize his place.

Now, to get to your questions ... as for my comment about ("You know when you said "you don't know what is going to happen", what did you mean by that exactly? Do you still hope that we will meet, and get to do everything we have spoken of? Do you still hold that true?") What I meant by that is that I don't have a crystal ball that holds all the answers for me. I cannot predict what may happen next month let alone next year or five years down the road. However, that does not mean that I want, or expect, anything to change between you and I. I value our relationship very, very much. (also word salad here! Beckstead didn't want to lose his cybertoy but that was all she would ever be. Also by keeping her reeled in - he was making sure she wouldn't tell on him, either)

It was hard not getting messages from you over the last week and I was really happy to get the ones that explained what was happening. I hope more than anything that some day we will eventually be able to meet, in person. (The ones that do meet you? Will stiff you with the bill, too)

Beyond that, I don't know what will happen. So, we just have to keep the good thoughts going. (hahahaha) I have not been trying to "pull back" or anything like that. ("you caught me! oh crap!") That's why I made the comment about staying in the background. I would much rather be out "front and center" but if things happen, just remember, I'll always be back there and will respond to your questions, e-mails, etc. ("when I feel like it - because its all about ME ME ME")

As for the questions about "where does my new job leave us," well, as far as I'm concerned we're still going to be able to e-mail, talk on occasion, and send packages back and forth. If I find out that something was sent and wasn't received, then there will be hell to pay for it, especially if it doesn't show up within a reasonable length of time. We'll be able to talk from time to time as well, just like we do now. I don't expect anything to change. (that last line is VERY TELLING)

But, be prepared that when I get deployed there may be long periods of time when you won't hear from me. I don't know what the e-mail situation will be from wherever I could end up. I think I explained to you that I could go to Baghdad or Afghanistan for as long as four months every two years. It's all part of my job. But, I will let you know about anything that comes up well in advance. I think they've got a rotation schedule so I'll know well in advance when I'm going and to where. It will be just like when I go out to the Yukon now and can't plug my computer into a spruce tree to send e-mails. (this is such a load of sympathy provoking B.S. we won't even bother to try to dissect it because its too funny the way it is)

The three trips I mentioned that I have coming up over the next two months before I head south are next week (beginning tomorrow morning) to Anchorage. I'll be checking my e-mail from there. Then the week after, I'll leave on Friday to fly out to Eagle, take a boat down the Yukon on Saturday to Coal Creek for a "dedication" on Sunday, back to Eagle on Monday via boat, and then spend Tuesday in Eagle doing research (actually I plan on relaxing and enjoying some time on the river -- very little work related) and fly back to Fairbanks on Wednesday. (Mr. Popular aren't you Beckstead?)

Then, the last trip will begin on August XXth (or sooner if they finish the first half of their mission first) I will be going out to the B-24 with the team from JPAC to recover the remains of the pilot. I got word today that I will be accompanying the team for the mission. I'm really psyched about that. The mission plans are to be onsite for two weeks (until September XXth). I think we'll find what we're looking for a lot sooner and might be out earlier than planned, but who knows what may happen. So, that will be the end of my "bush time" with the NPS. (and yet another project I can attach my name to so it will be more attention for DOUG BECKSTEAD - MR. WONDERFUL!)

Well, my back is really sore tonight. I think I should close this epistle and go stretch out on the couch for a while. (LOL!!! What a picture!!) I'm hoping to get up really early tomorrow and heading south.

There is also a big gun show going on in Anchorage this weekend that I would like to go see. It's where a lot of people are selling guns, parts of guns, accessories for guns, and other outdoor related things. I'll bet **** would have a blast at it! There is one up here in Fairbanks twice a year, but for the most part, there isn't much to it and everyone has things overpriced by at least 50%. I like to go to pick up an occasional accessory (ammo boxes, etc) but I rarely buy anything. I've seen a couple of guns that I would have liked to have picked up (bought) but didn't have the money at the time. Mostly I go to look to see if something strikes my fancy. (guns? no comment...!)

love and hugs! (notice how its no longer "I love you" - its more impersonal... did yours do this to you readers?)

Doug
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dolor temporarius.
Gloria aeterna.
Cicatrices virginibus placent.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: "Doug Beckstead"
Subject: Tonight
Date: Sun, 24 Sep 2006 20:34:05 -0800

Hi!

Well, this birthday/going away party really s*cked the big one. I got to XXX and there was virtually no one there. Tthe bartender who usually works on Sundays was sitting at the bar and someone else was working for her. She's the one who supposedly put the whole "party" together. She said that something came up and everything got changed. She left within an hour of my getting there. (oops Doug - now you see how very 'important' you aren't! LOL)

So, I sat there at the bar and got drunk. Well, almost. I have a bottle of Shiraz wine in the fridge that I plan on eliminating tonight. That's after I have my dinner of a can of chili heated in the microwave instead of the barbequed ribs that we were supposed to have. Yeah, I'll get drunk sitting in my little apartment, all by myself. Some birthday and going away, eh? (boo hoo... karma can be bad when you have inflicted emotional pain and psychological torture on others)

Friends, eh? Yup, you can always count on them. (just look in the mirror, Beckstead and see what a FRIEND you have been... not)

I hope you and ********* had a good time shopping and doing your "girlie stuff." (giving her GUILT!! oh he's really sickening...)

Love and hugs!

Doug
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dolor temporarius.
Gloria aeterna.
Cicatrices virginibus placent.

By now it was all about Beckstead 'normalizing his abuse.' The covert 'game over' 'I have had my fun with you, but surely you must realise that we have "become too close." (how about "I got bored and found new prey") He even said on one forum about me that: "this was just a game after-all" (AFTER THE FACT & WHAT HE'D DONE TO ME AND MY FAMILY). Beckstead dropped the bomb-shell, but expected us to be just "friends".

His later emails would concern stories of dinner with the family - normal family, husband and wife stuff - let the good times roll. A complete turn around leaving me dumbfounded. Remember this was the "ill wife", the "down-trodden, frumpy, non-sexual wife", who NEVER EVEN existed back in the beginning. And the family he swore "did not care about him." Now it was all rosy and normal. (This is as cruel and heartless as it gets - after they malign the family/ wife/ partner to you - say you are their "one & only" and then it's family time for them and you are dumped like trash. And if you say 'ouch' they are all over you for HURTING them or their family. Truly depraved Beckstead. They want to use you like some free online porn girl then send you pictures of the wife and kids. WTF?! )

FEEL FREE TO VISIT BECKSTEAD'S WEBPAGE & SIGN THE GUESTBOOK!

HERE'S THE BOOK THAT BECKSTEAD SENT AS A "PERSONAL GIFT" TO ALL HIS TARGETS

BECKSTEAD - 'PROJECTOR' EXTRAORDINAIRE!

More from just one of the bunch of Beckstead's victims we heard from since his initial exposure:
(EOPC's comments are in purple.
EOPC has linked some of our other exposed Cyberpaths throughout this article in our ongoing efforts to point out the PATTERNS & SIMILARITIES between these predators and to support our victims by letting them know: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!)

I was starting to see that Beckstead was so full of it and I was ignoring my gut instinct because of his twisted talk and blame-shifting. He would always lay the guilt trip back on me, accusing me of everything that he, himself had committed. (that's called PROJECTION)

It just about did my head in trying to keep up with his BS and 'word salad.' (that's called SCHIZOPHASIA)

The one thing though, he did have a lousy memory and that is what eventually tripped him up. (that's what tripped up Ed Hicks, "Gridney/ Yidwithlid and Brad Dorksy) That and the fact that I did hold onto a good deal of the conversations down the track because I my gut told me he had a devious and sneaky side.
I caught him red handed several times in the VIP chatroom flirting with others while telling me I was his "one and only." His lies rebounded on him because I was always quick to point out fact from fiction when I noticed a distinct slip up. (Ohhhh Cyberpaths just LOVE when you catch them! NOT!) I became very savvy to them in those last months.

I just kept on asking the questions, he could not stand it any longer. I was no longer willing to play his whipping girl. (of course, so he D&D'd you)

These predators all start somewhere, and as with all abuse, sooner or later it escalates. What makes this guy truly depraved is that he leans in on women that he knows are in a vulnerable situation. (no that makes this guy EXACTLY like all of them - please read the rest of the stories in our right hand margin. Remember: PREDATORS HUNT THE WOUNDED) He comes in on a rescue mission, only with ulterior motives in mind. He took advantage of my situation and he hurt me. I tried to tell him that, but then I was accused of more "name calling". (PROJECTION again. They all do this rescue routine.)

His style, looking back was to give the impression that every woman was "after him", when god knows why they would be. (that's common - they are all SOOO desirable when its THEM that start and encourage your interest. Players, cyberpaths, sociopaths, narcissists - ALL SAY THAT - nothing special about Beckstead. They are all so alike its sad - can't these guys think of something new? BTW - look at Beckstead's pictures - Johnny Depp he's NOT!)

He comes after you, he hunts you until he gets what he wants then abandons you by playing mind games and of course, if you call him on it, it is "all in your imagination." (Typical. Again, please read Keith Clive, Brad Dorsky, Gridney/ Yidwithlid and Mike Campbell)

I just needed a sympathetic friend, someone I could talk to and trust in a time of need. (again PREDATORS HUNT THE WOUNDED) I did not need this manipulating piece of work to turn my life and that of my families upside down and then pretend as if nothing had happened. (you are NOT alone -- this is the M.O. of all these cyberpaths)

More blather from Beckstead. -- At this time - this victim CAUGHT Beckstead cybering with another victim... um, woman - nicknamed KITTY. Of course, Beckstead, like all of them DENY DENY DENY and PROJECTION!

It's all Beckstead... all the time. YAWN!

>From: "Doug Beckstead" <>
>Subject: RE: Good Afternoon!
>Date: Thu, 16 Mar 2006
>
>>Well, this totally e-mail proves that it was not KITTY in there and in fact
>it was YOU who was impersonating her. You were not simply "lurking" as you
>are continually claiming. (what a liar! and why are you upset Dougie? Got caught? Didn't ya?)
>
>If you recall from the conversation that you participated in the only thing I said was that I would like to meet her and take her out to dinner and drinks. Nothing more. Anything else was simply a matter of what you wanted to dream up. I have made similar offers to others who I have met online because I, unlike yourself and others, would like to be able to meet the people I speak with to see what they are like in real life, and vice versa. (Dougies tries to MINIMIZE and PROJECT. Gag)
>
>At this point, as far as I am concerned you can go your own way and enjoy manipulating people online by trying to make them think that you are someone you are not. (HAHAHAHA! Why should she when YOU are the one so good at that Doug!)

You have gone to great lengths to accuse others in the VIP of similar dastardly acts (among them KITTY, XXX and others) and yet you yourself are one of those who is doing it. I only wish I had not been so blind for so long. (Oh come on Doug, you're just mad SHE'S not BLIND TO YOUR BULLCRAP ANYMORE!!! Him, Clive, Dorsky, Gridney/ Yidwithlid and Hicks - same bull, different receptacle)
>
>Enjoy your games. Because I am not going to be a victim of any more of them. (Doug has games of his own he wants to play but he can't take what he dishes out) I can no longer trust anything about your or anything you say. (look in a mirror on that one Doug)
>
>Do not e-mail me at my office because this morning I will have your e-mail address blocked. (oooo!! what a threat!!)
>
>Have a good life because I am out of it from here on. Make all the threats you like and insult me as much as you would like if it makes you feel better about it. But I'm out of it. (Sounds like you are insulting one, Beckstead - all powerful behind a keyboard)
>
>Doug
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beckstead Yet Again - Used the Victim for a Cyber-Punching Bag

One of his victims: Another example of his projection of blame onto me and his anger (when she's getting a clue to his REAL intentions):

Let's call this THE GREAT CELL PHONE DEBACLE.

In the beginning he offered to buy me a cell phone and a webcam. (Gridney/Yidwithlid did this with his Target #2. They try to turn real, caring women into FREE PORN BABES!) I refused to accept either, because I did not ever want to be accused of having ever asked for a cent from him. I never asked anything of him financially ever and never would.

As it happened I did eventually buy my own cell phone and webcam (the webcam I took back as it was clear what he was expecting from me and I was not willing to go there). (Same as "Gridney/ Yidwithlid, Jacoby, Clive and Dorsky - they wanted free porn - all you were to them was an OBJECT, not a real person - some of these cyberpaths take YOUR pictures and post them on boards for other sex addicts or sell them as homemade porn online!)

Once he realized that I'd caught on to what he really wanted from me (cybersex and that was all) there were more excuses of avoidance. Once I had my own cell phone, he made every excuse as to why he could not call or text, yet I have family and friends who have never had any trouble in doing so.
(sounds like Gridney/ Yidwithlid- telling his ex-friend of over 25 years why he "just couldn't call her" - Yet he could call Target #2, a woman he NEVER met who was across the country; 3-4 times a day -- ON HIS EMPLOYER'S CELLPHONE! They are very very much alike! Click and READ!

Making the connections to their patterns here, readers?)

When I asked direct questions, he would be very selective in answering. If I went back and asked the about the questions he missed, would only make him angry. (Dorsky, Hicks, Campbell - how dare you want TRUTH from them! LOL)

The mere mention of zabasearch.com and the ease of finding his home address in that last long email from him, sent him into overdrive. Is he hiding something? Yes most definitely!! (readers - we say this all the time! If you ask question and/or they won't allow you to do a background check or say you "don't trust them" -- get out IMMEDIATELY! And do that check on them ASAP!! They are hiding something! Anyone who's honest would not care.)

He was always threatening me that he would walk away, yet never did. He would wait until I made a move to rectify things. (Hicks, Dorsky, "Gridney/Yidwithlid - the EXACT same. Please read LURES OF THE ONLINE PREDATOR.) Because he played on my caring instincts.

Now since I have no longer made that move it has been silent. I know now it would have been silent a lot sooner if I had not tried so hard to preserve what I thought we had and meant to one another. (he's moved on - has new objects, victims... er friends... LOL. The only person that means anything to him - is HIM)
Looking back, I wasted a lot of time on him. He was never worth any of it. (Yes but you are continuing to educate people about this type of cyberpath - and Doug is as common as air. Nothing special here - so start reading readers!)

He made my life a misery. Beckstead turned from what I thought was a friendly confidante into someone who purposely used & traumatized me. He seduced & coerced me into thinking he was a genuine person. (SEDUCED and BRAINWASHED!)

I was trying to make a go of things for myself personally with my partner and family and he almost sabotaged that purposely because of his cruel head games. (Hicks ended up doing a year in jail and is now out on unlimited probation for his games & bigamy. AND doing the same b.s. under various names to attempt to avoid anyone finding out who Hicks REALLY is - Gridney/ Yidwithlid contributed to 2 divorces and is continuing to blame his victims - Mike Campbell contributed to divorces and trauma for his victims. You are not alone!)

Interestingly enough, he told me his mother is an alcoholic, that he has no contact with her, that he detests her. (Read up on Narcissists and their relationship with their mothers. Beckstead's probably a misogynist too) He told me had to raise his younger siblings while his father was off onto his third wife. (and Beckstead's wife probably raised his kids while he was screwing around online & off with other victims) He has a religious background. (so does Mike Campbell, Dan Jacoby and Gridney/ Yidwithlid they all profess to be VERY religious. Gag -- unless their 'place of worship' is their bathroom mirror!)

From: "Doug Beckstead"
Subject: Yes, I Am Mad Now (that you CAUGHT ME... AGAIN!)
Date: Mon, 21 Aug 2006

Alright, now I'm starting to get a bit bent out of shape here. This is not my fault yet you seem to have already made up your mind that it is, so I suppose I should simply say, go ahead, blame it on me and tell me that it must be something that I am doing wrong because I obviously do not have the same luck as you have when calling or texting from down there. It's all my damn fault! (yes Doug, it is) I'm totally incapable of working a damn cell phone -- even though I have been using one for years! (then how about an HONEST ANSWER!)

I just tried calling your cell phone number, the one that you sent on the cell phone and the one that you sent via the e-mail earlier today. I tried calling them on both my cell phone and my regular "land line." Neither one worked. (lie)

In fact, I got a computerized operator that said "If you are trying to make a call you must first dial XXX." In the case of ************ that is****. I tried calling your regular number and got a busy signal. (lie lie lie and the victim has no way of proving he's lying but considering that Beckstead does nothing BUT lie... you figure it out! --wink--)

I'm trying all I can from this end and what do I get back from your end ..... "it looks like another door closing from your end." Go ahead, think and believe what you want to think and believe. (She 'listened' to your ACTIONS Doug, not your WORDS. Because your words are garbage)

Well, if you are going to continually be blaming me and trying to see the worst thing possible then maybe I need to just call it quits here and just walk away. I answered your questions that I thought where the most important in that e-mail and all you do is jump on me saying that I didn't answer all of them. (LOL - this is all so much bull we'll just let you think up your own response for it, readers!)

Damnit I'm getting really tired of this. And yes, I am angry now. You act as though everything should work perfectly because someone on your end says it should work. Well, obviously it is not working. And what do you do? You insinuate that (1) I am not doing anything to try and find out why it doesn't work on my end, (2) I'm obviously not trying at all, and (3) I must not want it to work. (insinuate? or the logical conclusion from your selfish narcissistic behavior? Why don't you admit that the Beckstead family had a SHARED cell-phone provider and you would have had to explain certain phone calls around the country to your wife & kids?! Nope, Beckstead has to hurt yet another vulnerable person to TRAUMA BOND her to him further.)

Now, since I just tried calling your regular phone line and got a busy signal, should I assume that: (1) you obviously don't have time for me; (2) you don't want to talk to me; and (3) you're closing me out of your life. Of course not! Those are obviously assinine assumptions to make! (but of course the asinine one is you Doug, for taking a decent person for a sick ride. Online... where you can just click her on & off when you feel like it)

Why do you continue to do this and then expect everything to be just like it used to be? (because you made her promises and now you got bored and are projecting, Dougie)

FOR SOME RECENT BECKSTEAD POLISHING UP HIS GREAT-GUY IMAGE - CLICK HERE

IS INTERNET ADDICTION REAL?

More research is being conducted to explore the way people use--and misuse--the Internet.

BY TORI DeANGELIS

If you believe what you read, "Internet addiction" is about to make us a nation of derelicts. Men drooling over online pornography, women abandoning their husbands for chat-room lovers and people losing their life savings on gambling Web sites are just a few of the stories peddled in today's press.

But despite the topic's prominence, published studies on Internet addiction are scarce. Most are surveys, marred by self-selecting samples and no control groups. The rest are theoretical papers that speculate on the philosophical aspects of Internet addiction but provide no data.

Meanwhile, many psychologists even doubt that addiction is the right term to describe what happens to people when they spend too much time online.

"It seems misleading to characterize behaviors as 'addictions' on the basis that people say they do too much of them," says Sara Kiesler, PhD, a researcher at Carnegie Mellon University and co-author of one of the only controlled studies on Internet usage, published in the September 1998 American Psychologist. "No research has yet established that there is a disorder of Internet addiction that is separable from problems such as loneliness or problem gambling, or that a passion for using the Internet is long-lasting."

But more psychologists are plunging into Internet addiction research, fascinated by its emotional, psychological and social implications. In their work, they are finding a subset of people who spend so much time online, especially in sexual encounters, that they report problems in their marriages, families and work.

In addition, researchers speculate that certain unique aspects of the Internet may lure people into trouble they might otherwise avoid.

"The Internet is unlike anything we've seen before," says David Greenfield, PhD, founder of the Center for Internet Studies. "It's a socially connecting device that's socially isolating at the same time."

Who's vulnerable?
Greenfield has conducted one of the largest surveys on the topic to date: a 1998 study of 18,000 Internet users who logged onto the ABC News Web site. He found that 5.7 percent of his sample met the criteria for compulsive Internet use. Those findings square with figures from smaller studies done by others, which range from 6 percent to 14 percent. Study participants who met Greenfield's criteria (adapted from criteria for compulsive gambling) were particularly hooked on chat rooms, pornography, online shopping and e-mail, he found. About a third said they use the Internet as a form of escape or to alter their mood on a regular basis.

In addition, the "addicted" people were far more likely to admit feelings of losing control in their dealings on the Net than "nonaddicts." Greenfield believes that the loss of control is just one indication of the potency of the psychoactive nature of the Internet. Other signs include time distortion, accelerated intimacy and decreased inhibition. For instance, 83 percent of those who fit the addiction criteria reported a loss of boundaries when they used the Net, compared to 37 percent who didn't meet the criteria.

Meanwhile, 75 percent of "addicts" said they had gained "feelings of intimacy" for someone they'd met online, compared to 38 percent of "nonaddicts." Of those who met Greenfield's criteria for Internet addiction, 62 percent said they regularly logged on to pornography sites, spending an average of four hours a week viewing the material. And 37.5 percent of that group masturbated while online, they said.

"Regardless of the technical definition of Internet addiction, there is clearly something unique and powerful going on here," Greenfield says. "The most widely affected areas seem to be marriages and relationships due to compulsive pornography, cybersex and cyberaffairs."

Chat rooms and porn sites
Many studies, including Greenfield's, also report a preponderance of male Internet addicts. In an unpublished study of 1,300 college students by Keith Anderson, PhD, of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, 91 of the 103 students who met his criteria for "Internet dependence" were male.

But other studies, including one of the first studies on Internet addiction, by Kimberly Young, PhD, find that women are addicted as often as men--just in different ways. Young, who treats people with Internet problems, is executive director of the Center for On-line Addiction (www.netaddiction.com), founded in 1995. Hers is the first behavioral health-care firm to specialize in Internet-related disorders, offering outpatient and online treatment.

Men and women "addicts" seem to prefer sites that fit behavioral stereotypes of their own gender, according to a study by Alvin Cooper, PhD, and colleagues in the March 2000 issue of Sexual Addiction and Compulsion: The Journal of Treatment and Prevention. Their research--which is the only analysis to specifically focus on Internet sexuality--found that women were more likely to spend time flirting or having "cybersex" with others in sexually oriented chat rooms, while men were drawn to porn Web sites.

"Men prefer visual stimuli and more focused sexual experiences, while women are more interested in relationships and interactions," says Cooper, who is training coordinator at Stanford University's counseling and psychological services center, Cowell Student Health Center.

In a study in the May 1998 issue of Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, Cooper also found that more than 91 percent of Internet users spent less than 11 hours a week logging on to sexual sites. About 82 percent spent less than an hour doing so, "with very few negative repercussions," he says. (Full text of these research articles appears here.)

But men and women "addicts" who spent the most time each week online--11 hours or more--said it was their chat room behavior that most interfered with important aspects of their lives. Cooper will investigate further exactly what those problems are, such as whether online sexuality leads to sex offline, why people might go online when they're already in a sexual relationship and how such compulsion affects people's home and work lives.

The Internet also seems to invite both genders to experiment in ways they might otherwise not, Cooper finds. A full 12 percent of women in his sample of 9,265 respondents, compared with 20 percent of the men, have accessed pornography at least once. Cooper speculates that women who visit porn sites may "just be experimenting and wanting to see what the big deal is."

The available research leads psychologists to question whether those involved in cybersex have sexual addictions, or whether they otherwise wouldn't engage in illicit sexual encounters but find the Internet an easy medium in which to experiment.

Cooper labels about 17 percent of his sample "at-risk" users--people who "wouldn't otherwise have gotten involved with sexuality in a problematic way, were it not for the Internet." Certain qualities of the Internet--its accessibility, affordability and anonymity--make it more difficult to resist the temptation of online sex, Cooper believes.

But for now, this and other questions about Internet use will remain unanswered until more controlled studies are done, critics say. An article in the Feb. 4 issue of the Chronicle of Higher Education outlined what those studies should investigate. Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute psychologists Joseph B. Walther, PhD, and Larry D. Reid, PhD, suggest that future research include:

* An empirical look not just at problem use, but at healthy use as well.

* More theory and research on why the Internet compared with other outlets is so attractive to some people.

* More study of which comes first, Internet "addiction" or previous mental health or social problems.

It's also important to examine whether people's Internet use ebbs and flows over time and why, Kiesler and colleagues note.

Tori DeAngelis is a writer in Syracuse, N.Y.

Lori Drew - Finally Indicted in MySpace Suicide Case

As we said back when this case came to public light, Lori Drew broke a lot of laws. We will never understand why the prosecutor in her area gave her a pass. He should be investigated too.

Megan Meier (left)/ Ashley Grills (right)
But now, Mrs. Drew's chickens have come home to roost. Ashley Grills, the girl Drew tried to blame Megan Meier's suicide on -- came clean about Drew's involvement and now the U.S. District Attorney, Thomas O'Brien has filed an indictment against Drew.

We can only pray that Drew gets the jail time for her immature & malicious intentions towards poor Megan Meier.

This case will set a precedent for those who wish to pursue charges against their predators for INTENTIONAL INFLICTION OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. Predator often do the same things Mrs. Drew did - use false identities, lure vulnerable persons into online relationships, smear them, bully them and discard them - leaving adult victims with serious PTSD and other problems. In our opinion, Megan Meier was a young girl who deserved a lot better than being set up and yes -- pushed to suicide by a remorseless person like Lori Drew.

REMEMBER: The Courts & Prosecutors INITIALLY said "THERE WAS NO CASE." But Tina Meier (Megan's mother) and people like us - the bloggers, who the press tried to smear as a "cybermob," kept after this case.

Victims - NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP PURSUING JUSTICE!!!!!!!

United States Attorney Thomas P. O'Brien

Central District of California

_____________________________________
MISSOURI WOMAN INDICTED ON CHARGES OF USING MYSPACE TO 'CYBER-BULLY' 13-YEAR-OLD WHO LATER COMMITTED SUICIDE

LOS ANGELES – A Missouri woman was indicted today on federal charges for fraudulently using an account on the social networking Web site MySpace, U.S. Attorney for the Central District of California Thomas P. O'Brien announced today. The woman posed as a teenage boy who feigned romantic interest in a 13 year-old girl, who later committed suicide after the "boy" spurned her and told her, among other things, that the world would be a better place without her.


Lori Drew, 49, of O'Fallon, Mo., was named in a four-count indictment returned this morning by a federal grand jury. The indictment charges one count of conspiracy and three counts of accessing protected computers without authorization to obtain information to inflict emotional distress on the girl who, because of juvenile privacy rules, is referred to in the indictment only as M.T.M.

The indictment alleges that Drew, along with others, registered as a member of MySpace under the name "Josh Evans." Drew and her co-conspirators then used the Josh Evans account to contact M.T.M. and began what the girl believed was an on-line romance with a 16-year-old boy. In taking those actions, the indictment alleges, Drew and her co-conspirators violated MySpace's terms of service that prohibit users from, among other things, using fraudulent registration information, using accounts to obtain personal information about juvenile members, and using the MySpace communication services to harass, abuse or harm other members.

After approximately four weeks of flirtatious communications between "Josh Evans" and M.T.M., Drew and her co-conspirators broke off the relationship. Within an hour, M.T.M. had hanged herself in her room. She died the next day.

"This adult woman allegedly used the Internet to target a young teenage girl, with horrendous ramifications," said U.S. Attorney Thomas P. O'Brien. "After a thorough investigation, we have charged Ms. Drew with criminally accessing MySpace and violating rules established to protect young, vulnerable people.

Any adult who uses the Internet or a social gathering Web site to bully or harass another person, particularly a young teenage girl, needs to realize that their actions can have serious consequences."

To become a member of MySpace, individuals are required to submit registration information – including name and date of birth – and have to agree to certain terms of service that regulate their use of the Web site. Among other things, MySpace terms of service require prospective members to provide truthful and accurate registration information; to refrain from using any information obtained from MySpace services to harass, abuse or harm other people; to refrain from soliciting personal information from anyone under 18; to refrain from promoting information that they know is false or misleading; and to refrain from posting photographs of other people without their consent. The indictment alleges that Drew and her co-conspirators violated all of those provisions.

"Whether we characterize this tragic case as 'cyber-bullying,' cyber abuse or illegal computer access, it should serve as a reminder that our children use the Internet for social interaction and that technology has altered the way they conduct their daily activities," said Salvador Hernandez, Assistant Director in Charge of the FBI in Los Angeles. "As adults, we must be sensitive to the potential dangers posed by the use of the Internet by our children."

The conspiracy count carries a maximum statutory penalty of five years in federal prison. Each count of accessing protected computers, each of which alleges that the access was for the purpose of intentionally inflicting emotional distress on M.T.M., carries a maximum possible penalty of five years in prison.

An indictment contains allegations that a defendant has committed a crime. Every defendant is presumed to be innocent unless and until proven guilty.

Drew will be summoned to appear for an arraignment in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles in June.

This case was investigated by special agents with the FBI in St. Louis and Los Angeles.

Our deep thanks to Denise Marhoefer of the Defense Foundation for Children USA for her help and sending us this information.

CLICK HERE TO DISCUSS THE MEGAN MEIER CASE

RELATED POSTS:

WEB HOAX LED GIRL TO KILL HERSELF

MYSPACE HOAX VICTIMS' FAMILY SEEKS JUSTICE

PUBLIC OUTCRY ON THE MEGAN MEIER CASE

A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF WHY EOPC RUNS THIS SITE

EOPC ATTACKED ON TV OVER MEGAN MEIER CASE

JUSTICE FOR MEGAN MEIER

SUPPORT FOR OUR STAND ON THE MEGAN MEIER CASE

MEDIA PEES ON MEGAN AND TELLS BLOGGERS ITS RAIN

THE MEGAN MEIER CASE

NO APOLOGY, EVEN IN DEATH, FROM MEGAN'S 'MURDERER'

LORI DREW: PREDATOR OR INTERNET MARTYR?

LORI DREW: HAPPY; MEGAN MEIER: DEAD

MYSPACE SUICIDE CASE: NOT OVER

MYSPACE SUICIDE CASE - SOME TRUTH AT LAST

Doug Beckstead - More Excuses Than A Disgraced Politician

Let's read some of the wit & charm (and WORD SALAD) in our review of Predator of the Month, Doug Beckstead. (See if you know an online "friend" like this!)
Beckstead loves bending his targets' ears with his 'tales of woe', his tales of his 'so busy & popular life' (so busy & popular he's online looking for decent women to target), his tales of how he was 'in law enforcement' (rrriiiiigggghhhhttt -- EOPC checked around for information to back this up. NONE WAS THERE. It was a fabrication or embellishment on Beckstead's part). Doug's just 'so good with his family, friends and life in general' (so good that all EOPC saw was his whining & moaning about how lonely & unfulfilled he was. Including some mean spirited comments about his wife).

Who wouldn't want to be a part of this predator.... er, man's life after the rosey picture he painted of himself - even if only online?

CLICK HERE FOR BECKSTEAD'S WEBSITE

He tries to portray a very normal picture of himself, he's "oh so busy" and has "oh so many friends" that want his time & energy. Why he's more popular than the ice cream truck in August isn't he?

Or is he?

One of the targets that contacted us was kind enough to share some of the email Beckstead sent her.
(as always our comments are in purple)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From: "Doug Beckstead"
To: XXXX
Subject: Okay, Here's a Long Answer to Your Long E-Mail

Good afternoon!

Well, this has been a real hectic day and I still feel like I have gotten absolutely nothing accomplished. I am soooooo frustrated with it. On top of all that, this morning I called home and XXX answered the phone "House of Pain. How can we hurt you?" (Cyberpaths get off on hurting people - but look out if you hurt them!)

It caught me totally off guard until she put XXX on the phone and she explained that she had fallen on the ice last night and injured her ankle and leg. She called the doctor this morning and he ordered up some x-rays at the hospital and asked her to bring them over to his office.

Just after lunch I got a call from the doctor (XXX was in the office and I talked to her too). Apparently she's got a sprained ankle and a broken leg!!! It looks like she broke the same bone you did except she broke it at the top of the bone near the knee not at the bottom by the ankle where it is generally broken. So, I'm heading to Anchorage in the morning instead of on Thursday night.

But, in the mean time I am going to answer what I think are your questions in your long e-mail. I printed it out and used my highlighter to make sure that I get what I think are all of the major points answered. If I miss any, please let me know. (And I am going to run the printed copy through the shredder when I'm done so there is no need to worry about someone in the office coming across it or something.) (oh come on Doug!! You will miss anything that's too pointed and asking you for a little honesty, right?)

Okay, here goes .......... (look out... here it comes) First, your comment about feeling like you're walking on eggshells pretty much sums up what's happening with me too. (blame shifting - he's using her and her gut is telling her he's playing her) For the last several month, it seems that if I don't respond to an e-mail right away, or if something happens that keeps me from getting on the computer when I said I would try to get on, generally results in some sort of angry response coming my way with statements about how I've lied to you or I must have something better to do with my time and have pushed you off to the side. All I am asking for is a bit of compassion here and some understanding that sometimes things get in the way of being able to read e-mails, open e-cards, or meeting on MSN. I realize that it seems like that is happening more and more over the last six months and I agree, it does seem like it has been happening more frequently. But, I do not know why it is, nor do I know what I can do to change it. (Target was walking on eggshells - with a Narcissistic Cyberpath. But notice how Doug does what they all do! Like Hicks, Gridney/ Yidwithlid, Dorsky, Thomas - they are just ssoooooooo busy - how dare a Target ask for the same amount of consideration they expect from them? Excuses, Excuses, Excuses!!

BUT - if a Target decides they have had enough of it? And they ask Beckstead - or any cyberpath - for the same in return? It's like you asked for their kidney with no anesthesia. The Cyberpath does NOT want his victims to fall too far out of his "control zone." How DARE they ask for accountability from the Predator, like Beckstead! Major Red Flag. He needs them where he can play them like puppets... not somewhere they may get a clue that he's a compulsive liar & user.

Besides Beckstead is an ATTENTION HOG. He doesn't just like attention - HE HAS TO HAVE IT ALL!)

I explained that the e-cards, although I do enjoy them, are something that I cannot open at work. Sometimes they get lost in the shuffle with other e-mails coming in. (The I-Am-Mr. Popular excuse! gag,,,)

Recently my friend in Washington DC sent me about 50 forwarded news articles from the Washington Post (the local newspaper back there). When he does that, everything gets shuffled down a few pages in my Hotmail box and sometimes things get overlooked. I try to answer all of your e-mails and I try to open all of the e-cards when I get them. If they happen to land in my box before one of his mass mailings, then sometimes I don't think to scroll down the list and back through the pages. Please understand this. I realize that you have taken time to make sure you are on the computer when we are trying to meet up, but sometimes things do happen. There have been times when I've come online and you have not been there and I simply chalk it up to you had something else that took you away and leave it at that. I don't get upset and I sure don't hold it against you. (Of course not! One less Target to juggle for Doug!! Why you'd think he was 007 with all these people who need him! How about - I forget when I am cybering with one of the other gals I have on a string telling them "I LOVE YOU & ONLY YOU" to.)

A prime example is when ******** had her surgery. When I didn't hear from you I just figured, "Okay, things are not going as well as expected and she'll get to me when she can." I knew that it would not do any good to get upset because I had no control over what was happening on your end. (Cyberpaths love to take YOUR personal information and deepest thoughts and turn it on you. But if you do it to them - look out! Incoming!)

Moving on to the next part … I made the comment about being "backed into a corner" because that is the way I've been feeling for a while. No matter how I try and explain the situation, I keep being asked about making plans to come to ********* for a visit. While it is something that I would very much like to do, and something that I have every intention of doing at some point in the future, I cannot commit to coming down by a certain date (month, year, etc.). (oh of COURSE not, why meet someone when toying with her online is so much more fun! thank GOODNESS they are either in another country or thousands of miles away, phew!)

As we've talked about before, I am working two jobs in an attempt to make ends meet up here. There isn't disposable income ("at the end of the day" to coin that wonderful **** phrase you use so much) to permit me to lay solid plans for coming down there. There isn't much that I can give up that could go into the bank for such a trip. I'm already cut to the bare bones. If things change in the near future (or the far future) that could very well change and I can come down. But, for now it is something that I cannot promise. The last thing I want to do is to get your hopes up by saying I'll be there and then have you let down because I couldn't do it. (the LAST thing? Notice how GALLANT he is! Sounds like Gridney/ YidwithLid or Thomas! Couldn't be more full of **** if he tried.)

Again, I'm trying to remain realistic so neither of us gets shot down. (NEITHER?) This does not mean that I have not got the same feelings about you as you do me. Nor does it mean that I do not have the intention of coming down to meet you. I do not think that you are trying to railroad me into any "shotgun wedding" or anything like that, nor do I think you are looking for a meal ticket nor a father for your kids. I have never suspected anything like that on your part. I know you would never think that nor expect that. Granted, there are folks like that on the Internet in the chat sites, but I've sensed all along that you are genuine in what you say. A bit on the timid and secretive side, but honest and genuine at the same time. (he had to get that SECRETIVE dig in, did ya' see that?

But here's PROOF that Beckstead was CONFIRMING (lying) that he FELT THE SAME, emotionally - as his prey. Of course now he says they 'misread his intentions' and are 'scorned' - bullpocky! He VALIDATED, ENCOURAGED and INITIATED the online romance.

Of course, that's projection - the secretive one is him. Cyberpaths will say things like this to get YOU to give up your secrets but they have zero intention of giving up theirs. They never tell the truth - even to themselves. Its all a big game to them - while they expect you to believe every word they say as gospel -- or else!)

As for taking the next step in our relationship, I would like for nothing more than to do that. I am just as frustrated as you are, probably even more so because I want to come down south really bad. Again, it's just the reality of the situation that is preventing us from being able to pull it off. Yes, I have pulled back sexually. (pulled back or too many women online? like all narcissists: the truth is - he got BORED) I tried to explain it during our conversation Friday night. It is in part because of my confusion of not knowing what was happening with our relationship, whether it was on or off, and for how long it would be on again before it was off again. And it is also because I have been very tired at times when things got a bit "worked up." Believe me, that is not something that I ever wanted to have to admit to, being too tired for sex! That's something that happens to old people, not me!!! There have been some comments made over the last few months that have really stung me. The comments about "stroking my ego" and how I am "so full of [my]self" really hurt. Those more than anything were like a cold slap in the face. And they've come on more than one occasion several months apart. When I am told things like that, I have to really wonder if that is how you really feel. (awwww Doug, wahhh wahhh wahhh)

My statement about sitting back and "patiently waiting" was what I planned to do because I knew that you have been under a lot of stress at home from a variety of fronts. First with ********* surgery, then with the problems with *****, and finally with the anniversary of your mother's death all hitting at the same time. I knew it a long time ago that things would start getting rocky. So, the best way for me to deal with it was going to be to try and remain in the background, offering the support I could, and let you work your way through it. There really wasn't much else that I could do. If I tried responding to your e-mails then I would have just inflamed the situation even more and that would have done no good for anyone. (wow this sounds like Gridney/ Yidwithlid who ran away when Target #1s estranged husband started hacking her computer and found out about him. And then Target #1 was being seriously abused BECAUSE OF HIM "its best if I leave"...

And Hicks with his "its for the best" -- Best for WHO, guys?)

It was a big relief to me when you called. I had planned on letting it go for a couple of days then either calling you or writing you. (sssuuuurrreeee you did) I just didn't want to push. I am not an aggressive type of guy when it comes to relationships. (why should he be when the internet provides endless supply) I've learned over the years that it doesn't do any good and in fact can really cause some permanent damage if I do start acting that way. So, that's what you get with me. Yes I still want you in my life. I don't understand why you would ask something like that in the first place. I don't know what I can realistically do to make it any more clear to you. I do love you and I do care greatly for you and your kids. (And, as I said before, I don't think you are looking for a meal ticket or anything like that – but if I could, I'd be proud to serve as a surrogate father for your kids too!) Perhaps things have dropped down a rung or two but there is no reason why they cannot climb right back up. But, the way I feel about you has not changed. (Doug doesn't want to lose any one of his "toys" er.... online girlfriends)

After the holidays, after I get back from Anchorage, I'll try to make more time to talk with you between jobs and on my day off. But, I do not want, nor do I expect you to make any changes in your life to accommodate me. I realize you want to and you are willing to do so, but as I said at the outset, there are times when things come up and our lives just take us to other places for the time being. And sometimes our families need time with us too.

One good thing is that I am still looking for a new place to live. That will make it a lot easier for talking on the phone, etc. as well because I will have my own place, my own phone and my own connection to the Internet without having anyone else muddling around with it. (muddling? another excuse?)

A friend of mine in the office is moving to Anchorage in March and I'm already talking with him about possibly renting his cabin after he's gone. I have to get over and see it, and talk with the landlord, etc. about a couple of things I'd like to try and do (like installing a shower for one!). But if that works out, then it will be a really good deal for me. Not only will I have my own place, but it also has a wonderful view from what XXX has said. In the mean time, he's going to Belize for six weeks as a graduation present for himself (he just finished his Master's degree).

I know some of this is not what you want to hear, but I'm trying to be totally honest with you here. (only liars use phrases like "I am being totally honest" or "this is a true story" or "I am not lying to you" -- its an NLP imbedded command to get you to believe them!) I don't want to make any promises that I might not be able to keep. I don't want to set you up for more hurt. (because then you might get wise to me) You mean as much to me as anyone else in the world (even my kids) and that is a whole lot. (rrrriiiiigggghhhtttt. Again, setting this particular Target up for guilt for ever doubting him!) I don't want anything to change between us, but I do hope that you understand where I am coming from with all of this. In the mean time, I think I'd better wrap up here and get ready to head over to my other job. I decided to stay at the office today and put in some more time so I could leave early on Thursday. But now since I have to leave tomorrow it really doesn't matter anymore anyway.

At least it gave me the time to sit down, uninterrupted, and answer your e-mail. I will try and check my e-mail when I get home tonight. But, I also have to get packed and everything to head south in the morning. And, I hope to get a good night's sleep in the meantime. The roads are pretty icy so I need my wits about me. I'll send you a note when I get down there (but it might not be until Thursday (your Friday)). I'll let you know what happens.

I love you and you are a big part of my life. I don't want that to change. (because if I give you too much space, breathing room and time to THINK - you might have enough time to see what a sociopathic tale-teller I am)

Love, Doug

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he has stopped to fix
something with duct tape.

— Henry David Thorough
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OOO Aren't we oh so profound? and humorous?


Here's an earlier one from the most honest man in Alaska!

From: "Doug Beckstead"
To: XXX
Subject: RE: Status

Hi!

I got your e-mails from today. It is not me that is cold, heartless and turning my back on you. (blame shifting, guilting -- in one short sentence! .... sound familiar readers?)

That is something that you have created in your mind. (and now GASLIGHTING)

I have been subjected to insults, called a liar, and every other name in the book over and over by you. All for no reason whatsoever. As for why things can't go back to where they were before, well, read the fourth sentence again. (all for no reason? according to who? Notice how he doesn't even try to apologize!! just talks about his anger and his hurt feelings)

I got your e-mail last night but did not respond because my body is trying to adapt to the change in my blood pressure medication. It's causing some really weird side-effects. On the up side, it's dropped my bp by 30 to 40 points. On the down side it looks like I'm probably not drinking enough fluid right now so I have to increase that to get back on an even keel. (sympathy ploy - another big one with Cyberpaths and other men who have online or offline affairs. THEY are sick, the wife/ kids are sick... not ONE word about the Target's state of mind! There's that cyberpath's zero empathy effect!!)

Things are very hectic here with the full house. XXX and XXX are heading home on Saturday morning. I'm not looking forward to their leaving. I'm having a really good time with them.
(whoa, Beckstead went from indignant -- to wanting sympathy for his health -- to how busy he is. Notice how he's training this Target to feel guilty for questioning him & to just DROP it whenever he seems like he might just pull away. It's: All Doug All The Time!)

Hugs,
Doug
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dolor temporarius.
Gloria aeterna.
Cicatrices virginibus placent.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yet another missive from Beckstead

From: "Doug Beckstead"
To: XXX
Subject: HI!!!

Hi there!

I'm sorry I dropped off the face of the earth! The Internet in our dorms/hotel has been down for the last six days! It has been soooooo frustrating not to be able to check our e-mail. But, it looks like it's back up now. (anyone else seeing a pattern of excuses? Doug seems to be just loaded with them. Martyr Man)

In the event that you're checking your mail now, I just wanted to send off a quick note while I run downstairs and put my laundry in the machine. I'm hoping to get it done early tonight. (don't forget about me because I need to not give you time to breathe and realize I am messing with your mind! I need to reel you back in! Get you back in my CONTROL ZONE)

Love and hugs!
Doug

PS: I see that there are a few e-mails (and cards) from you. I just want to get this on its way before I look at those.
(How about "I already looked at them - They were good! I may cut, paste and use them to send along to my other targets.... er friends..."?)

For those of you who've read this site for a while - Doug's a real classic - This probably all sounds sickeningly familiar.

Beckstead remained demanding and belligerent of his targets time, yet when the shoe was on the other foot? Nothing. He gave back nothing in return other than grief! Even when his targets figure him out and make it clear to him to "STAY AWAY"? Beckstead's reaction: he claimed to be "amused." (misogynistic reaction) Then he just carries on with the projection and blame shifting. Beckstead accepts NO ZERO responsibility what-so-ever. (none of them ever do.) A clear sign of mental pathology!

Comments? - Fighter

A PREDATOR IN REVIEW - DOUGLAS BECKSTEAD

STARTING THOUGHTS AND INFORMATION FROM ONE OF BECKSTEAD'S VICTIMS:
(original posting: April 2007. Aas always, EOPC's comments in Purple)

Full Name: Douglas Stephen Beckstead.
But commonly is known as Doug Beckstead or Douglas Beckstead for his business liaisons.

His Internet nicknames:
'dog driver'
'Grizzly Adams'
'Road Runner'
'Louis XIV'
there are probably more.

From Classmates.com (he would not be the first cyberpath to use a reunion site to find prey):
Beckstead's Junior High
Beckstead's High School

He is currently living in Anchorage, Alaska, has been full time since the end of September 2006. He has lived in Alaska for some years now, alternating between Anchorage and Fairbanks. Originally moved to Alaska from Utah many years ago now. Got his masters in Utah. Has also lived in Philadelphia as a child. He has moved around quite a bit. He used to work for the National Parks Service (U.S.) and now is with Elmendorf Air Force Base in Alaska.

He used to travel back and forth from Fairbanks, Alaska to Anchorage on a regular basis. Now in Anchorage supposedly to spend time with his now adult children. But obviously to see his wife as well as I soon discovered.

The one online nickname I knew him by and most commonly used was 'dog driver'. I caught him in 2006, cybering in the 'Virtual Irish Pub' chatroom under 'Grizzly Adams'. He admitted that it was him and he had been drinking. Although his story as to what he was really doing was somewhat different. (Usually is - very twisted and minimized)

Still he thought that asking other women out to dinner and drinks etc was ok. But I know what I saw on the screen and none of it was acceptable. (tried to gaslight this victim? typical: "you didn't see what you DID see")

We originally met in 2001 as paid members of the 'Virtual Irish Pub' (a chatroom) before it went down hill to what it has become today. After a while we both stopped frequenting there (or so he had told me he had). We met every day and talked on MSN, or via email several times every day.

He professed to be "in love" me and that he was "not romantically or sexually interested in anyone else" etc., until his first accusation and the excuses (from him) stepped up, then it was open season from his point of view. (DEVALUE & DISCARD)

He would constantly be looking for some disagreement with me. I could not win. He just gave me excuse after excuse. Yes, there was the odd nice time, but they became less and less as did the phone calls. (he got bored and was dumping you - he probably had new prey)

As for where he hangs out now on the web, it could be anywhere. I have done the odd lurk in the 'VIP' but nothing that resembles him seems to be present. He could be on any number of chatrooms (or dating sites) now. Or he may be 'glory hunting' for his huge ego on one of the Army/ Airforce or related sites.

The wife may finally be keeping a MUCH closer eye on him. But he's manipulative & sneaky and I doubt that will last.

He was quite friendly with a lady in Fairbanks by the name of Roberta (a grandmother). He told me a story once about how she had offered him no strings sex, but he turned her down because she was much older than him and quite a large lady. (He was probably already sleeping with her - typical psychological torture of a target. Talk about other women (or hookers). "J"/ Gridney/ YidwithLid , Jacoby, Gash and Dorsky all did this. It's also part of the LURES - to make them seem 'very desirable' to other women while putting a knife in your heart. It's a HUGE red flag - that they see online women as SEX OBJECTS only - everything else is just head games for them!)

Later, Doug forgot about that "story" and sent a picture of her and him and some members of her family out on a river cruise in Fairbanks. She was not 20 years older than him, as he had once told me -- and far from "large. " He told many lies , forgot what he said and tripped himself up. When I refreshed his memory he failed to reply to that email. (oh of COURSE!! Never happened!! oooops! Compulsive liar = sociopath)

If he has another extramarital romantic interest they would be secured to MSN and his email and cell phone. I think that he met someone local in Fairbanks because after a certain amount of time as he was always busy, too busy. He always had time before and when his personal circumstances had changed, work wise etc, back to the one job, he became even busier. (Like Gridney/ YidwithLid Remember? As soon as his Target #1s abusive husband found out and he went back to work... he was TOO BUSY. Yes - too busy now that he could afford high price hookers. Beckstead either had an in-person or other online targets going.)

He failed to let me know about dropping the second part-time job for quite some time (because it was a good excuse for him to spend time with his other prey). It slipped out one night in conversation to me. He was always fixing things for this lady in town or that lady, new neighbor. (Why tell her unless it was to make himself look 'gallant' and to torture her mentally? As we said - part of the LURE to make himself look "wanted" & "desireable" - again part of the LURES!) Then they would offer him dinner.

There was also the "I am house sitting" excuse too. At someone's house where he "could not reply to his emails" or "would not be taking his computer". Or he "was having computer problems". Again, all plausable excuses had they not been used so many times. And all this time he was still professing his being very much IN LOVE with me.

But I was expected to continue on writing, not question him and send him things. (Double standard. Typical Cyberpath. Demanding worship while giving none)

More as the month continues!

FEEL FREE TO VISIT BECKSTEAD'S WEBPAGE & SIGN THE GUESTBOOK!

CHEATING HEARTS CAUGHT ONLINE

Cheating Hearts Caught Online
By Walaika K. Haskins
(excerpted)

Internet dating sites have never been more popular. They have been a romantic oasis for people with busy lifestyles, allowing them to pursue a relationship at their own pace. Many women are comfortable with the sites because they can become well acquainted with a prospective partner before even going on a date.

However, for every online testimonial that greets the lovelorn masses, there is a story of bitterness and spite. A growing number of Web sites now traffic in the business of warning women (and sometimes men) about prospective mates who have a very loose relationship with the truth.

Welcome to the online antidote for a broken heart. Web sites such as Players & Psychos and TrueDater have taken up the call to expose liars and cheats before they have a chance to make a fool of you. Call it the online version of the popular reality show "Cheaters."

Rewarding the Faithful
On one site, jilted or cheated-on lovers, girlfriends, and wives can post a picture of their significant offender and list all the gory details of the philandering for the entire world to see. Think you might have a cheater on your hands? The site also has a search engine through which you can seek a scoundrel by name, city, or keyword.

Those who need or want to learn more about a questionable prospect can submit an e-mail message or go to the site's blog. In an attempt at some degree of fairness, if people feel they know a man who has been maligned unjustly, they can post a rebuttal that will be included with the other comments under his name.

"It's like a dating credit report," one site's creator, said in an interview with The New York Times.

One site's creator said that roughly 170,000 women have registered to use it and that the site's members have posted the lowdown on some 3,000 men.

While many women say the sites perform a valuable service, some men, not surprisingly, have taken a dim view of the trend.

The sites have been criticized for being biased and harmful. Detractors have said there is little to stop a woman from posting a man's picture along with a completely fictitious account of a relationship gone awry. (not really... this site, such as others - require posters to affirm their statements as true and we ask for backup. On many of these sites including ours, the information is the property & responsibility of the poster. Plus, we do some checking ourselves)

An Alternate View
Seeking to serve all sides of the online dating community, TrueDater gives both sexes the chance to reveal the lies and deceit behind an unscrupulous online profile.

Using the nickname of the person they found at their dating site, men and women can uncover the truth behind that perfect physique -- a balding head, missing teeth, or ever-expanding waistline -- and post a warning with a link to the credulity-stretching profile.

The site is not focused exclusively on liars. If a posted profile turns out to be from an honest Joe, it will be flagged as a "true dater." The rules stipulate, however, that negative feedback relates only to information posted in the profile.

If, for instance, someone reveals during the date that he lives with his parents, and if the profile does not mention that living situation or if the appropriate field is left blank, then the site simply will edit out remarks about living arrangements.

But focusing on such technical limitations might be missing the larger point. For increasing numbers of women, what matters is that these Web watchdogs are helping to separate the studs from the duds.

"With the advent of the Internet, some can be what they want instead of what they are," one site owner told the Times. "You think this guy sounds great. Turns out, he's married, and he's got five kids."

(using the category in our right margin: EXPOSE THEM - you can post information about your cheater or loser on a number of different sites. Be SURE you are being truthful! EXPOSING THEM can be the first step in healing.

Also, we like exposing cyberpaths, see the links on the left margin to obtain our criteria for submitting your online predator - Fighter)

DETECTING LIES

Are you always the last to know the truth about what's REALLY going on? Does it drive you crazy that you can't seem to pick up clues that someone might be lying, when all your friends seem to be able to spot them a mile away? Here are some telltale signs that what you're hearing might be something less than the whole truth.

(Excerpts applicable to internet communications):

Credibility
...make sure you really listen to their words. If they're explaining why they couldn't make your party, for example, see if the excuse sounds plausible. Some people, in the panic of being forced to lie, can trot out the most absurd story that is just impossible to believe. Really bad liars look skeptical as they tell their tall tale - even THEY don't look like they believe it.

Other people will fire off several excuses in a row, each one more outrageous than the last. Sometimes this list of excuses can even contradict each other, as the liar doesn't have time to think about whether his story works or not.

These are obvious examples of credibility problems, but the bottom line is to combine an awareness the messages this person is sending with his words. If they don't add up, you're entitled to question his truthfulness.
Gut instinct
But how do you deal with a more accomplished liar? What if he seems relaxed and open and has a flawless story? This kind of liar is more of a challenge, but you have a powerful secret weapon left: listen to your instincts.

Sometimes you are face to face with a professional con man or a compulsively unfaithful partner. Such people will be experienced and credible. They will have worked on controlling their reactions to the fear of getting caught out, and will seem natural and trustworthy at first glance. They've probably rehearsed their story, or used it successfully many times before without getting caught, so they are confident that you will believe it too.

In these situations, and often in spite of all the evidence before you, you will sometimes experience a strong feeling that something's not right. Even though logically the story might seem absolutely watertight, something inside you is sending you warning signals.

The biggest mistake you can ever make in such a situation is to ignore this gut feeling. You might not be able to put your finger on your suspicions - let alone explain them to anyone else - bdishout your best course of action is to just reserve judgement until you have more information. Don't accuse anyone, but don't put yourself at their mercy either. Wait until you're sure they're on the level.

Of course, not everyone deserves to be the object of automatic and chronic suspicion. But if you're not sure if someone is lying to you, pay attention. You will find that your ability to spot a lie at 50 paces becomes finely tuned and very reliable.

Written by Elizabeth Hardy
SOURCE

FORGIVENESS & MAKING AMENDS

Responsibility and Making Amends in Recovery
(In light of the habit (lie) of cyberpaths to swear that they have 'changed', are 'sorry' or 'didn't mean it that way' or are 'trying to start a new life' - EOPC want sto present a radical idea.

IFyou want to stay friends or in contact with the person you preyed on and make it right? You could avoid a lot of the exposure, anger and blaming ("they are obsessed with me,""that never happened","it's all a lie", etc - don't go there, we KNOW you're lying...)

Cyberpaths - if you really want to change, here's what to do - Fighter) :

Responsibility is the cornerstone of recovery. We may feel guilty about the ways we've acted and about those we've hurt. This is part of recovery; it is part of having a conscience. In recovery, we learn to change our perspective on ourselves. Our illness can't be cured, but it can be treated if we are willing to work on it. Members of a support group who have "been there" can help in the healing process as we walk through the minefield of our shame.

In recovery, we learn to monitor our actions, and when we act in negative ways we do not become shameful and defensive; instead, we admit our mistakes and make amend for them. Making amends does not just mean saying we're sorry. It means recognizing and thinking through our behavior:

Because of how I acted, there is an inequality in our relationship. Now I need to find out from you what is needed for the relationship to become equal again.

For a person who, during his addiction (predatory internet encounters), continually lied, making amends would not mean saying, "I'm sorry for blowing up at you." It would include admitting to his spouse what he has done, recounting a specific incident, and then saying, "I know this caused you great pain and frustration. What do you need from me to make up for this?" If her request is within his realistic limits, he would act to make restitution to her. By making amends, he owns precisely what he did and commits himself to a change in his behavior.

By claiming responsibility for our actions, we may win back some of the relationships we lost through our addiction. We are all human and we all act foolishly from time to time, but shame is a distortion of reality that makes it impossible for us to make amends. In recovery, we learn how to see ourselves realistically, as human beings.

from: The Addictive Personality, by Craig Nakken, MSW, CCDDP, LCSW, LMFT

RECOVERY & AMENDS TAKES TIME!! Not just a simple I'm sorry email.

You face the person IN PERSON if possible, and start an ongoing dialogue to heal both them and yourselves.

If you have had an 'online affair' you find a way to be accountable to your spouse while dealing with the other person rather than just abruptly breaking it off (all too convenient for the cyberpath and confusing & painful for their victim(s) In this EOPC disagrees with therapists who say to break it off or avoid the other person! Most therapists do NOT 'Get it' about relationships with pathologicals - online or off ) or finding an excuse to continue the affair.

While this goes against current thinking for cyber-relationships ("break it off immediately") it could be a gentler, more effective and radical approach to total accountability and healing in all parties.

We fully recognize in cases of fraud, divorce or assault - this may not be appropriate.

This excerpt used the male term(s), your cyberpath may well be female. - Fighter