EOPC = "Disgusting?" or Whose Victims are More Valid?

Recently, a thoughtful member of EOPC told us about Internet Love Scams: a website with a forum for victims of internet "love scams."

Sounds great! The more the merrier!! There are all sorts of love scams. Financial, sexual, emotional. Lets get the word out.... but wait!
When EOPC tried to post there and do some cross-linking? One of the moderators wrote us that they found EOPC "disgusting" and that we'd be banned if we posted our URL again.

Additionally, one of our members was told after she posted her story that it was 'slander' and she'd would be banned if she posted it again. The word "lawsuit" was thrown around by a couple moderators to this member/victim.

Excuse us, but EOPC has done a LOT of research and discussion with legal authorities. (Please check the left margin of this site for information on Slander & Defamation. )

This member was very aware of what slander was.

Our victims were manipulated and deceived. Cyberpaths are traitors of the worst kind - traitors of the heart, the mind and most of all OUR TRUST!

So... HUH!? EOPC's victims seem to fit their site's title: "Internet Love Scams." But nooooo, their site was for apparently only people scammed by Nigerian Scammers or 419 scammers. Just one sort of scam. The "scams" on EOPC didn't fit the parameters of their site. Fine. However, implying one of our members/victims was slanderous and also calling this site and our content "digusting" is a bit... JUDGMENTAL?

There are many advocates out there. We applaud them all - but your victims of "love scams" are not more or less valid than ours.

If getting out information and support for those who have been emotionally & mentally raped, cyberstalked, used and abused by a Cyberpath is "disgusting" then EOPC is GLAD to be disgusting. Our victims are NOT less valid because they didn't send money to some Nigerian or 419 scammer. Different, yes. Disgusting? We think not.

Too bad these people couldn't see the strength in working together.

Please avoid that site, members & readers.

Dan Jacoby Busted: Threats, Manipulation & Stealth Attacks

Oops!! Shades of Gridney/ Yidwithlid - whose lunchhour fun with high-price escorts was found on a various "sexual review" sites going back to 2000 (2 years PRIOR to his finding Target #1 and 4 years prior to Target #2. ) And btw - he never stopped seeing prostitutes DURING his predation on those women.

EOPC can easily bet ole Jacoby was on the sexforums prior to, during and since preying on this Victim and other women. Women online? Are FREE PORN to a cyberpath!! NOTHING MORE!

ALL cyberpaths try to erase their tracks and Jacoby is no different -- but as EOPC knows - NOTHING ever really disappears on the internet because we found it for both of them too! Jacoby is most probably still on sexforums and/or other casual, anonymous sex sites under a new nick - just like most of them.
Victim, like all our victims - makes a plea for truth and clarity. Like all our victims, she hasn't yet realized or fully taken in that she's dealing with a pathological man. Truth & clarity don't exist for these predators:

From: Victim
To: Dan Jacoby

Put us both out of our misery, Danny?
Talk to me? Make things right?

Now readers, buckle-up for some major PROJECTION and MIND-F**KING by Jacoby with his "response" now that Victim has started to expose him for her own peace of mind, to save others from being further harmed by Jacoby and to TRY to make him stop & get help! Watch - and see if this is starting to look familiar readers:

Hi Victim

Would it have been so hard to talk to me six months ago? Why would I think for one second that you won't take every word I write, twist it, and recklessly post it all over the Internet? (PROJECTION!)

Have you read the things you've posted about me and wondered the effect they would have on you if it were your photo, name, and address? Do you have any idea what all that nonsense has done? (Does Jacoby have a CLUE what's he's done to this innocent, caring person? Aside from bilking her out of a few THOUSAND dollars? How he's emotionally raped her and torn her soul in half? Oh NO!!! Like Beckstead, Hicks, Dorsky - they only see THEIR pain... and that their little party is BUSTED!)

I have things that would crush you if I showed them to you, let alone every stranger on the planet. I do this Internet thing for a living, Victim. I throw nothing away and save things people think are un-savable, but I don't use them to destroy people, especially people who are already on their knees in agony. (Bull - keep reading because Jacoby isn't as ethical & moral as he wants Victim to believe - he thinks NOTHING of trying to destroy people. Just like Gridney/Yidwithlid and Beckstead - he's going to start his own little smear campaign after he tries to lay enough GUILT on his victim to get her to stop her TRUTH TELLING!)

It can't be fun for you going through life consumed with so much hatred for someone. That I am sorry about. (Can't be fun to be so soul-less and predatory that you use vulnerable women, online for free cybersex and gifts while playing with their head to make yourself feel like a big man, can it Jacoby? The only thing you're 'sorry about' is being BUSTED. We all see right through that little speech. We've heard it before. Your victim did the right thing!)

Be well, Danny

From: Victim
Date: Jan 2008 at 11:29 AM
To: Dan Jacoby

OK, that's fine, but I've been "mulling over" this note again. After seeing the video of you out and about in your fancy car with your lady wife, (who you'd been with all along) why would I have even "wanted" to talk to you six months ago? And all the time you were telling me that you were "laid in bed in the fetal position, gasping for breath"????

There have been numerous instances where I've given you the opportunity for honest dialogue and you declined... So spare us both the embarrassment of your old trick of turning YOUR disgraceful behaviour back onto ME! (PROJECTION - all these predators do it. They don't want to have dialogue. Remember when Gridney/ Yidwithlid begged Target #1 to meet him for lunch the week after it all happened to "talk it out"? What do you all think the chances were he would have even SHOWN UP for that lunch?...

Remember when Charles "Ed" Hicks told his wives they had to "give him a chance to explain" when he'd stolen money, love, care and been with at least 3-4 other women while simultaneously married? Explain what? Why he's a bigamist and con man?)

What is "nonsense" to you; to me is deadly serious. You've damaged me so bad that I have to have counseling again. You know what I went through before with the grief counseling over my parent and yet you can put me back there???? Yet again, an unbelievable inability to empathise with my pain. (Right. No empathy = a clear sign of sociopathy. Beckstead tried to say his victim's head injury was what lead to her psychotic behavior in exposing him. Ed Hicks said his victims "made it all up just to get on T.V." Nathan Thomas calls any woman who tells the truth about him "scorned & jealous" and tells her the "CIA will be mad at him if he gives out any information" LOL! Is this getting repetitious readers?)

You dismiss it out of turn and hark back to that old familiar, "me, me, me!" trait, which I always found distinctly unpallatable. (all about them - PATHOLOGY - Clear as day.)

Whatever you "may" or "may not" have saved from the days we were together, I couldn't give a damn! It can only be emails of intimacy between us, where I was coerced "into" and "went along with" your filthy fantasies. I loved the bones of you. If you'd asked me to eat dog-**** I would have. One thing's for certain, for every "one" note you have, I have "one thousand". There's nothing else at all that you can say about me. I'm squeaky clean, Daniel.

AMEN!! And as we have said elsewhere on this site:

A relationship can not possibly be consentual when the victim does not know the truthful facts to make an appropriate decision.

* Lying
* Telling her she's the only one
* Playing mind games with her
* Moving in on her when she & her husband/partner are having a hard time
* Moving in when she's vulnerable
* Having a 'hidden agenda'

...does NOT make for consensual.
It DOES make for predatory exploitation.

Did I take anything from you on the pretence of being "broke"?
Did I treat you in the shabby manner you treated me?
Did I "use" you for my own sick gratification?
(Unfortunately, Jacoby is incapable of TRULY answering that because these pathological predators BELIEVE THEIR OWN LIES)
I'll be more than happy to post the link to the website you designed for me on my 360, all you have to do is say so. ;-)

So, I guess by saying you "do this Internet thing for a living", you mean that you extort whatever you can from vulnerable women like myself to supplement your other income, on a regular basis? All I've done "wrong" is cut off your narcissistic supply and for that I gladly take full and absolute responsibility. (You go, girl!)

I don't "hate" anybody, not even you, even after everything you did to me. What YOU hate is the fact that your soft, gentle, gullible little Victim didn't fade away into the background to deal with the trauma of what you put her through in silence, and didn't turn out to be the "soft touch" you perceived her to be. I outwore my usefullness, plain and simple. (AGAIN, Victim is right on here - and that can be said for every single one of our victims; as they have said virtually the EXACT SAME THING about their feelings about their cyberpath)

I'm stronger than any other woman you've been involved with, Dan... I ain't no pushover! I may have been unaware of the truth about you, but I sure as HELL know your "character" inside out. I'd even go as far as to say more than even "Missus Jacoby" does. And I learned that the hard way, to my cost. (again -- this can be said about single one of our victims; as they have said virtually the EXACT SAME THING about their feelings about their cyberpath. These predators see their victims as such OBJECTS they rage when the victim rises up and reclaims their dignity and personhood by TELLING THE TRUTH)

It's just that the deep love and affection I felt for you blinded me as to the "real" Dan Jacoby and I'll regret that for the rest of my life.

Goodbye, Danny

Wait!! Jacoby HAS to have the last word:

From: Dan Jacoby
Date: Jan 2008 at 4:16 PM
To: Victim

Please remove all the things you have posted about me across the web. Your accusations of me being a "sexual predator" and "extortionist, along with my photographs, name, and location.
(why? The truth is a 100% defense here, Jacoby. If you are so blameless - don't you have refuting evidence? Why threaten? Isn't your good & ethical character able to stand on its own? CLICK HERE)

I've got everything, Victim. Webcam videos of you from head to toe. Audio recordings of your child threatening to kill me. (Ah yes -- here come the bullying & threats. Did he keep those to use as threats later? Didn't you think Victim's child would be furious with what you did to their MOTHER? Oh! wait... that's right - none of your online babes are REAL PEOPLE to you so they aren't ENTITLED TO BE HURT! Pathological, very very.)

Emails? I've got plenty of emails. They are not flattering. Big deal. Do you see me spreading this private stuff all over the Internet? (you will Jacoby!! in a heartbeat!! isn't that what you're threatening in the paragraph above? You're contradicting yourself!) I've sat here for six months without firing back at you, believing you would eventually realize you were dead wrong regarding the reckless, destructive, cruel, evil, criminal things you accuse me of - all for your personal satisfaction. (If her emails were written because of the REAL LOVE she had in her heart for you Jacoby. - then go ahead. And didn't you use & abuse her good nature, love and compassion for YOUR PERSONAL SATISFACTION. You're not the altruist your "words" try to paint you as. Trust us - NONE of our victims get pleasure out the expose. EOPC doesn't do revenge. We make sure its for 2 reasons: 1. public warnings & education; 2. to attempt (though we know how hopeless it is) to get predators like you to STOP! and get HELP!
-- note how childish Jacoby's 'tit for tat' attitude is)

Can you imagine me ever saying something like "Hey you, I will take screen shots I have of you and will make a puzzle out of them and I will reveal one piece of the puzzle every day on my website as long as the stuff you write about me all over the web remains out there. Then I will post the video clips one by one. Then I will post the rest of the stuff, including audio clips that clearly display your intent to do harm.". (We sure can. One of our other predators did something similar. The very FACT that you threaten with that stuff Jacoby - is sick in itself. How do we know, since you work in the computer industry, you didn't doctor it all? How many women do you have saved stuff on that you have threatened them with? You think that's o.k.?)

That would be almost as mean and vindictive as what you've been doing. Don't tell me it wouldn't affect you, your friends, or your family. (Oh, Jacoby, spare us - mean and vindictive is EMOTIONALLY RAPING SOMEONE FOR YEARS. What Victim is was an intervention and the absolute right thing!)

I've shrunk the enclosed image down to a thumbnail to be much less offensive. Please tell me I can throw all this stuff out someday soon. Is this how you really want it to play out? You are an extremely mean person, Victim... I've never known anyone who can use the words "Jesus" and "F***" in the same sentence and think its OK. (Boo hoo - poor Jacoby. - he's been busted and he's still throwing Victim's faith in her face too.)

There must be something more rewarding out there for you than this. Do not ever contact me again. Thanks. (Don't worry she won't. And we'll make sure that everyone knows about you ... Jacoby)

NOTE: Jacoby? Mr. "I-Would-Never; I-Am-Above-All-That"? After being busted? opened up a revenge site with filthy, photoshopped pictures of Victim on it. You had to get a password from Jacoby to see it. Control, control, control.

When Victim let him know what he was doing was illegal? He erased it - changed the site to look like it was something else and WENT TO THE FBI AND POLICE AND SAID VICTIM WAS HARASSING HIM!!

Hey Jacoby? We saw it... we know what was REALLY there and one of your forum sychophants has admitted she saw it too!! And using & misleading law enforcement to further harrass someone isn't nice. They have already heard from us what you did & how you manipulated them...

Poor Cyberpaths... soon they have to kiss their credibility buh-bye!


WARNING (2009) - Jacoby has found his way BACK on to the recovery forums (such as benzobuddies, etc) using a new IP number and false identities (ex: "Nurse Tanya" and "Elwood"). Despite the forum managers saying they have banned him forever - they have not been able to stop this remorseless predator! One forum manager refuses to listen and remove his multiple identities. Beware!

Internet Addiction and Internet Sex

A summary of this article was published in "The Source", July, 2001

Over 130,000,000 Americans are on-line. About 46,000 more people are getting on-line each day. Americans are going on-line looking for information, entertainment and relationships. Use of the Internet (also called the Net) has grown faster than any technology in history including the telephone, television, computers, video games and CD players. The Net provides everyday users with primarily the Web, e-mail, instant messaging, live chat and the ability to purchase goods and services on-line.

"You've Got Mail..." I Don't Care.

"Do you want to know more?" Nope!

"Do you want to see a picture of a naked man?" Of course not!!

"Do you want to see a picture of young boy having sex with an older woman?" Not on your life!!!

"Would you like to talk to a beautiful lonely woman on-line and see what she looks like?" Never!!!!

"Have you more intimate with someone online that you have not been intimate with in person?" How is that possible?

People are naturally skeptical when they hear someone say there are problems when using the Internet. Here are several important research facts.

Women are now on-line more than men.
50% of the people on-line lie about their age, weight, job, marital status and gender.
20% of the people going on-line will experience clear negative impacts to their life.
Use of the Internet is a contributing factor in nearly 50% of all family, relationship and family problems.
11% of the people going on-line are becoming compulsive or addicted.

How could anything that feels so safe and innocent looking be unhealthy for so many people? Feeling good and not realizing the problem is precisely the problem. People can go anywhere, see almost anything, find out virtually anything, do anything and be anybody they want. They act out in ways that are exciting and they can do without leaving their chair or being with a real person. Accountability, supervision and social consequences are missing in a virtual society.

Problems
The potential problems for new Internet use are significant and may be growing. Nearly 20% of the people going on-line will encounter one or more of the following problems.

Personal neglect
Compulsive checking and "clicking"
Isolation and avoidance from people
Lost productivity
Depression
Marital problems
Sexual addiction
Gambling away savings.
Internet abuse in the workplace
Academic failure.

Are You Compulsive or Addicted To The Net?
Using the Net is not a problem for Internet users who are on-line less than two hours a week. Heavy users are at risk when they are plugged more than 18 hours a week. There is no official diagnosis for an addiction to the Internet. The proposed disorder is called Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD). There is rather exact criteria proposed but it essentially easy to spot a problem. A compulsive and potentially addicted user is on-line more than 10 hours a day in non-work related activity. Answering the question "Am I addicted?" is based on four questions.

Do you feel better when you are on-line, chatting, or exploring the Net?

Are you or have you been spending more and more time on-line?

Are you on-line when you should being doing something else?

Have you tried to cut back and don't?

You probably have a compulsion if you feel a strong need to get on-line when you should be doing other things in your life. For instance, "Are you forgetting to eat?" Or, "Are you getting up at 3 a.m. in the morning to go to the bathroom and checking your e-mail before you go back to bed?" Checking e-mail at night when no one else is up and for no reason is a compulsion. You may even have early signs of addiction if you feel a need to be on the Internet more and more and feel worse when you stop.

Cyber Society
People go on-line and they are making friends. For many people the Internet is like a private night club or the place where you can find the friends you've always wanted. You don't have to go out and find real people and have an honest relationship. You can stay in your own chair and explore endless activities. You can walk away and come right back. There is always something happening. People will even miss you and ask you to come back. If you embarrass yourself, or people get mad, then you can just change your name, age and marital status and just start over.

It doesn't take much in the way of bravery to go into the Net. Once you're in, a user can go anywhere and see almost anything without social consequences or anyone knowing. As result, the Internet is a fostering uninhibited social and sexual behavior. There are clear impacts on relationships when people become uninhibited, dishonest or secretive in life or on the Net. There is much less honesty, integrity and accountability on the Net than there is at work, in school or in a neighborhood.

The Internet is now a contributing factor to nearly one half of all marital or family problems. In some cases, relationships are breaking down when a men or woman develops a relationship in cyber society. High levels of Internet use can produce social isolation, loss of real intimacy and depression.

Men, women and families are going into counseling for relationship problems that are partly or entirely caused compulsive internet use or virtual addictions. Women are filling for divorce claiming that their husbands are having sex on-line or looking at "pornography" for hours every day. Kids stay up all night. Parents stop relating and spend less time raising their children.

The Internet is not only cutting into social and family time but it is also cutting into work. For some employees the Internet is just part of the job. But up to 70% of employees who have high speed Internet access at work can spend up 1 hour a day involved in non-work related activities. At least 6% of people at work use the Internet more than 6 hours per week for non-work related activities.

Cyber Brain Washing
Knowing what can happen to you, your friends or even your children won't necessarily help. Heavy users will tell you that the Net will change you. If you spend enough time on-line, the rest of the world starts to look unreal or strange. You may not even notice the change. There is no sure way to know if you will get hooked or how long it can take. Here's how it happens.

Prolonged chats on-line and mouse clicking on the Internet will produce what psychologist call a dissociative state. Net users separate from reality and enter cyber reality. Anyone with children has seen how children can watch television for countless hours. Children and even adults watching television long enough will enter a "hypnotic trance." They meld into the television and disconnect from reality. Limited use is a form or healthy recreation or escape. Prolonged and repeated use can create problems.

People can disappear into a good book or a movie, but there is always an end to a book or a movie. The Internet is especially addictive because the Net is endless, interactive, social and exploding with never ending images and information. The Net offers exciting relationships 24 hours a day all over the world. Before the Internet children and couples stopped working and talking with their friends after dark. Spending the evening together reading, playing games and watching television together was the norm. But not anymore.

How do people get caught up in the Net?
For one thing, human beings are curious. We like to see more and do more. Many of us like to travel. When we can't travel, we like to read books and go to movies. We like to feel competent and in control. Human beings like to feel better and they don't like to feel bad. We like to do things that feel good and avoid things that feel worse. We especially like doing pleasurable things more and more. Being on the Internet is not necessarily about having a good time. Being on-line might make you feel better but it might just change how you feel. It can be an escape from reality that isn't necessarily better for you. For some people, a painful or disgusting fantasy is preferable to a less painful or disgusting reality.

Have you ever noticed that some people watch television even when there is nothing good to watch. And instead of turning the TV off, they resort to channel switching. The act of switching channels repeatedly is an annoying process that makes the rest of us want to leave the room or take the remote control away from somebody. The Net is a lot like television only the Net is timeless, interactive, challenging and endless.

Psychologists explain the seductive and addictive nature of the Net primarily in terms of a behavior modification process called a variable reinforcement schedule. That means you don't know how much of a reward you will get and when for your behavior. A variable reinforcement schedule is the most addictive reward system. Slot machines are designed and operate in the same principle.

When you keep playing a slot machine, the odds are that you will eventually loose everything. But the human brain loves the possibilities and excitement of "winning" in the moment and it ignores the long term consequences. The occasional win doesn't make up for the overall loss. People play anyway because the occasional win is highly rewarding for those who play long enough. Some people can walk away and stay away. Others can't walk away or they always come back.

The Internet is also more addictive than a slot machine - especially once they begin to master the technology. Playing on the Net can give you self-confidence. A slot machine doesn't. The most common rewards from a slot machine are those curious noises, spinning pictures and flashing lights. Once in a while a person wins some money.

Would you believe it, a cable modem is more addictive than a slower dial-up modem! Most people had no patience for the Internet when they had a dial up modem. The rewards were slow and boring. That changed when high speed modems allowed for rapid "clicking" and responses. People with high speed modems are now disappearing into a world where they wait anxiously for the result of the next click. The surprise, shock value and speed in which a person gets these "hits" of information and imagery are the key to creating a compulsion and addiction. Time begins to have no meaning when your next "hit" is just a "click" away. There is no time to think about something else you could or should be doing - unless you are waiting. People don’t think of what else they should be doing and they increasingly find there is always time for one more click and one more chat.

More than a slot machine, everything on the Internet is an adventure with social opportunities. It can be mildly or tremendously exhilarating. People feel rewarded when they finally figure it out why their software or a web site is not working. Every improvement in your skills including upgrades in software and your access to new and exciting links can produces a mind altering change in your brain chemistry. The most powerful change is called a dopamine rush. Dopamine is a chemical in the brain that controls brain function including decision making, impulsiveness, and it is released when you experience certain stimulation. It can improve your mood, confidence and produce a feeling of pleasure.

Cyber Sex
Men dominated the Net until just recently. Women are on-line more than men now. Men seek out pornography more than women. Women a seeking out relationships. But men and women are using the Internet equally for "cybering" (cyber sex). Cyber sex is defined as the consensual sexual discussion on-line for the purpose of achieving arousal or an orgasm.

People involved in cyber sex universally minimize the importance and impact of their behavior. They say "It's just on-line" or "It's not real sex." Patients are telling counselors and therapists that having cyber sex with an adult is not an affair (assuming it really was an adult and not a teenager). Marriage and family counselors are no longer asking, "Did you had an affair?" Or, "Did you have sex with someone?" We are now asking "Have you have had sex with someone that you have not had sex with in person?" The bad news is that some teenagers are becoming sexual addicts by the age of 16. The good news is that they are not necessarily having intercourse yet.

What changes people most is their access to sexual content. People would never have access to such a wide range of sexually explicit material without the Internet. They can get it quickly and easily. It’s really easy for children to explore the Net for hours at a time without being caught. The problem is that people become "cross involved" with other content when they are exploring less intense material. There are web sites that are gateways to other more explicit and shocking content. Before long people can end up involved in sexual content that is way beyond their original interest and desire. It eventually becomes sick.

Many people go on-line to find information. But unfortunately the most perverse human and even human-animal sexual interactions are available on-line. The most addictive content is the most shocking that changes your mood quickly. A quick look at graphic violence is a "rush" even if you find it offensive. The biggest "rushes" for the severe addicts come from violent sexual cruelties that are available on-line. People tell themselves that can just click and look for a second, but they don't realize that the trauma and stimulating effects are addictive. Normal people can become addicted to disgusting content not because they approve but because it changes and excites their mood. People become excited and disgusted at the same time.

As people become more comfortable, they begin to disappear and literally live on-line. Some will eventually move from back from the Internet to the real world. Eventually some will start seeking out people for real sex instead of cyber sex. Some will be driven to houses of prostitution or streetwalkers. A "danger downloader" is someone who views content that eventually creates a compulsion to explore potentially dangerous behavior in real life. "Danger downloaders" actually go out to fulfill their sexual fantasies with people who have cyber names like "Slave Master".

Internet Propaganda
People argue that the Internet saves time, but most people are merely spending more time learning how to save less and less time. The end result is that home users are loosing track of time and spending countless hours mastering and playing around with a technology that accomplishes nothing and generate no income. They end up getting behind on work, chores, child care and spending time with real people.

Internet technology does not add to the quality of life for most people. It provides a sense of mastery especially because the technology is unreliable and it requires people to master a changing technology. It is interesting challenge and often rewarding.

Did you know that more and more web sites are structured to get you there, keep you there, expose you to advertising and get you to spend money? All kinds of trickery and technology are being used to manipulate people. For instance, WhiteHouse.Com is a pornography site. The real White House web site is at WhiteHouse.Gov. And if you mistype the address of a web site for an airline or famous person you could end up in a web site for sadomasochistic bondage. Even worse, you might find that you are trapped and can't get out. Backloading is a technique where you can't get out of pornography web sites once you get in. You eventually realize that you have to shut down your computer, but not until colorful, sexual and even traumatic images are burned into your brain.

The Real World Vs Cyber World

Would you let your child go anywhere and spend time with anyone they wanted?

Do you want your child working on homework, playing music or shooting baskets with potential friends?

Do you want your child spending 2 to 4 hours a day on the Internet playing games, looking at pictures, talking with strange people in chat rooms or visiting a "private bedroom" while they pretend to be an adult?

Would you let your husband go over to the house of a woman you don't know and spend hours talking about love, sex, his dreams, his frustration and the difficulty raising your children while he lies about his marital status or his marital relationship?

Do you want to meet people on-line when you know that most of that relationship is based on a lie?

Do you want to work at building a real friendship that could last a lifetime?

Would you let your child go to the library if a pornography shop was in the back and no adults were watching? Or worse yet, would you let your child go into a pornography shop where adults were watching?

Psychologists agree than most things in life that have value require effort to accomplish. The Internet is a tool, but not a life. The Internet is a technological challenge, but it is not a real life challenge. It provides users with a sense of mastery in a machine world but not society, work, school or a relationship. The Internet allows for uninhibited social and sexual interactions. The Internet creates a feeling of adventure. It is stimulating and it can easily become shocking. If you need to be certain, go to www.Google.com and run a search using sexual words. Then be prepared to be shocked at what you, your family and friends can easily find without charge and without verification of age.

There is no doubt that the Internet is becoming a substitute for an active life. The Internet is socially safe. But does it really help with shyness? You can go anywhere and be anyone you want on the Internet. Overweight people don't need to become physically active and eat properly, they can pretend they are young, beautiful and buff, and no one will challenge their fantasy. Shy teenager girls and boys can have sex on line without fear of rejection. You can look at anything and talk to anyone you want without your parents, friends or spouse finding out. There is virtually no accountability when you are on-line.

The research on children is becoming very interesting. It turns out that teenagers are in greater risk that adults. Shy boys and girls in large school are especially vulnerable to having problems. Small schools have a lower incidence of teenage Internet addiction. Shy kids in large schools are withdrawing into their rooms. Some are becoming withdrawn, disturbed, and impatient. A few are becoming a violence risk. It should be no surprise that some teenagers prefer the cyber world and become infuriated and lonely in the real world.

Those with ADHD, BiPolar Disorder & Sociopathy are especially vulnerable. The Internet appears to have calming effect and is the perfect escape from distractibility. Instant messaging presents the greatest risk for ADHD or BiPolar Disorder sufferers. It becomes compulsive.

Internet use began to cut down on family TV time. But now people are one the Internet while they are watching TV. Chat, E-mail and Instant Messaging have become major forms of entertainment for an older children and teens.

Prevention
The Internet has been designed to be visible and accessible. At present, there is no way to effectively prevent access to inappropriate content nor is there a reliable way to restrict activity. What methods exist can be circumvented by clever children and adults. Fortunately there are a number of ways to control Internet use.

Businesses have developed the technology to monitor employee Internet use in the work place. Employees are less likely to abuse this resource if they know it is being monitored. Human accountability and social consequences are a major deterrent.

Another way to create accountability is to place a computer in a public place. Visibility creates social pressure and consequences for actions. People are less likely to view socially objectionable material in public. Signs of compulsive behavior will become apparent to friends, peers or family members when Internet use is public.

While business has adopted technology to monitor employee use, families do not yet have ready access to such software. There is software to load onto your computer and to your Internet services provider that can monitor and let parents and adults know how their computer is being used.

Psychological and even physical safety are real concerns since children are connecting to all the information on the planet. Very few parents would not let their child go anywhere anytime and speak to anyone. Likewise, parents should not allow their child to go on-line unless they know where they are going and who they will be with. Leaving a child alone in their room with access to the world is a risky decision.

You can't allow yourself to become Internet ignorant if you care about your relationships or family. You need to know what your employees at work and family members are doing. What adults do in their free time is their business. What your employees and children do is another matter. Children under the age of 16 are not ready to drive a car and they are not capable of resisting or understanding the dangers of being on the Internet. Monitoring and supervision is essential.

Finally, prevention is more likely to be assured if you maintain balance in your life. People go on-line looking for something missing in their life or they become involved in content and relationships on-line that begin to interfere with important routines, responsibilities and relationships. Making a conscious effort and commitment to a balanced life is crucial.
-------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Conner is a clinical, medical and family psychologist who completed a research and training fellowship in graduate medical education and health education. He provides training, evaluation and intervention services for adults, families and youth. He is Board Certified in Traumatic Stress, Emergency Crisis Intervention, Emergency School Response and Sports Psychology. This article is also available at www.CrisisCounseling.com. Dr. Conner’s practice is located in Bend Oregon and he can be reached at 541 388-5660 or Conner@CrisisCounseling.com or www.Education-Options.com

HOW TO AVOID LETTING A ONLINE PREDATOR PLAY WITH YOU

by CAZimmy818@aol.com

#1. If he sounds too good to be true, guess what, he's not !! He may just be 'mirroring' and profiling you while he moves in on you emotionally & spiritually.

#2 Make sure your antennas are in good working order, and when they talk to you, LISTEN CLOSELY. Don't bypass any red flags or a rise of your antennas. Don't tell yourself men are just 'that way' or you are 'making too much of' something.

#3 Don't center your life around this new friend. Fact of the matter is, he is just words on a screen. Keep up with friends in the real world

#4 If he tells you he loves you before meeting him face to face, don't believe him, they are only words to him; he doesn't feel them!!

#5. If he gives you a long sob story and always has a new crisis in his life. Run as fast as you can, and hide too. Would you truly want to live your life with one crisis after another?

#6. Before you go to private IM's with a new friend, spend time in the group chats with him and see how he interacts with other women, and continue to go to chats with him, even as the private friendship progresses !!

#7. Stick pretty close to home. Someone who you could meet for lunch, think about it, could be up to as much as 3 hours away !! If he refuses to meet you - WARNING!!! He's hiding something.

#8. All players have a mean streak underneath all that mush. Given time it will surface and when it does, don't ignore it! Does he pout or give guilt when you argue or set boundaries (you say: I need a few days to think about it.... and yet he continues to email or IM you)? Or when you're arguing, does he insist on staying on the computer when you try and phone. If you listen closely on the phone, you just may hear amusement in his voice! Or does he drop offline for days (probably blocking you while chatting to others) when things don't go his way?

#9. Seems that players move fast & quick with the: "I love you's, this was meant to be, it is God's plan, you are my soul mate, we are building a foundation for our love, let's tear down walls and build bridges," etc. Face it, ladies, this happens only on rare occasions and you don't fall in love with someone you have NEVER MET and spent time with.

#10. Even if you KNOW him (from an old job, school, old neighborhood) - if he pushes for quick sex, says he can't control himself, has to be with you - after not seeing or speaking to you for years - LOOK OUT!! This isn't the person you thought you knew.

#11. Surf a couple search engines on his name and nickname(s) and read EVERY PAGE THAT COMES UP... you'd be surprised what is on page 47!!

These men TARGET lonely women in bad marriages/relationships, who may be abused, vulnerable, naive, middle aged, low self-esteem, disabled, single mothers and/or are financially stable (so they can empty your bank account) and so on!!

Dan Jacoby: Busted by his own EGO!

...and guess how he handles it?

Right!! He attacks and smears his victims. Not an ATTEMPT at an apology. Not an OFFER to pay her back the thousands of dollars she spent thinking he's broke... but he's NOT broke.

Noooo... a few people who knew Jacoby's real character had been trying to talk to his Victim and tell her. Here's one example:
Hi Victim -- I don't know exactly what happened to you but I fear that Dan might have spun you the same line he spun many of us on the forum.

He is a serial predator who has promised to marry and move in with at least four women on the forum.

He waits till they are vulnerable or at the end of their recovery and then makes his move.

He is a lying sack of something, Don't beat yourself up too much for falling victim to a predator.

Jacoby doesn't like not getting his own way. I saw him struggle to choose between you and XXX and at the same time send XXXX messages that he would be sitting on the sand with her in Florida. i said nothing as I knew you were too far gone into him to see what he was.

Please don't be too hard on yourself, Victim. I am here if you want to talk. if you want to come down to xxxxxxx we can meet... I am only trying to save you from further grief!!

He's a monster Victim, a clever very sick monster

Best regards XXXX


Here's what Jacoby tells his latest victim (who apparently is one of many) when she confronts him with the above:

From: Dan Jacoby
To: Victim

Good Lord. No wonder you get so "down". This is absolutely criminal!

Now its marriage? This from a "woman" who pulled away from ME! Guess she's upset I didn't go running after her.

Doesn't sound TOO much like a duel effort between XXX and XXX. I couldn't be TOO clever of a "predator" if I posted about my love for you in front of any potential future "victims". Cheerful little things.

Guess that's why their lives are so full and men flock to them.

Jacoby, once caught, changed the link to the video so you had to know the log in. (he does this with a lot of the evidence against him... so he can control who sees it) CLICK HERE:


(notice how Jacoby attacks these past victims as meaningless & crazy, makes a sarcastic comment about them as women and PAINTS HIMSELF AS THE VICTIM. Sounds like Gridney/ Yidwithlid telling Target #2 (who he'd known for 5 weeks) he 'never cared about Target #1' (who he'd known for 27 years). Or John Gash swearing those women in his address book were people he'd worked with. Or Nathan Thomas -- saying anyone who blew his whistle was "just jealous" or (the comment we hear the MOST!) 'a scorned woman.' LOL!!)

Turns my stomach. No wonder I got banned from that board! xxxxxxx - Dan Jacoby

(same baloney as Charles "Ed" Hicks who tells everyone his last 2 wives 'set him up' and he's going to sue the Washington Post, the DA's office in Virginia and Dr. Phil for spreading horrible lies about him. Lies that were documented, on paper and as real as it got. Hicks is still telling women its all lies!

Cyberpaths ALL do this. ALL of them! The one thing they do NOT want? Is their targets to TALK TO EACH OTHER!)

But as research even shows, these sociopathic cyberpaths have their victims so bonded to them (through cybersex and NLP) that they refuse to listen. Then one person sent TV a video of Dan Jacoby...

...out in the sunshine... very much WITH his wife.

Oh and Mr. "I am so broke I can't buy my child a holiday present?" ... was driving a DODGE VIPER.
FROM: DB
(sounds like Clive - who deleted and renamed or reshuffled his online droppings or Gridney/ Yidwithlid who jumped through hoops deleting his escort-reviews from filthy websites and casual sex ads. Additionally - Gridney/ Yidwithlid changed his hate site against his victim so one has to have a blogger account to comment - control, control, control) All this so they can now act like it never happened.

FROM: Dan Jacoby
TO: Friend he wants to impress
June 2007

Thanks, K**. It was rough. Thought I was gonna lose it on the way home. Felt totally disconnected the whole time, but got some sun. My buddy got a kick out of driving, and it was nice to see some folks I hadn't seen in about 4 years. I was nauseous and shaking most of the way back and I'm sure it will take a day or two to get over.

Here are a couple frame grabs from some video we shot today. I'm in the green shirt (and the dark green one's mine). I swear I'm gonna slap the next person who says "But you look great!". Sad

If you're into classic bikes (and new italian ones), I also just finished the complete design and development of my latest website. It went live yesterday and can be seen at SteelhorseClassics.com.

Blue Ridge Parkway...

But notice these egotisical vultures saw no future consequences in putting this stuff (like Jacoby's video) up in the first place?

Unreal how they think their victims won't check; or that their pleas to 'not check up on them' will be followed, or if the victims DO check -- they are "stalkers." LOL

Please remember people - if someone online tells you not to surf them or "if you check up on me it means you don't trust me"? RUN to check on them. Google and go through every single page on them. EVERY link!!

And here's the bullpocky Jacoby gave to his victim when she finally confronted him about the video. Doesn't this sound so familiar? (these cyberpaths are sooooo predictable!)

From: Dan Jacoby

you still don't get it, do you? That video is 7 years old and was posted as a joke because there's a member there who tells everyone "I bet Jacoby never owned [a Viper].

So what do you think is DB's next move, readers?

...are you laughing readers? Because we sure are!!

didn't you see me in the video? Does that person look like how I look today?"

... how would she know for sure? Jacoby picked a victim 3000 miles from him who never him in person!

The Victim's response:

I think it looks like you! Yeah. Of COURSE it's YOU!!!!

You lying scum! Each time before I write you, I pray.

Merciful Father, deliver me from evil.

Yes, that's what these people are - EVIL. They care more about their image than you and your feelings. "I Love You" is like toilet paper to them. And they will bend time & space to lure you in for them to suck dry emotionally, mentally and sometimes financially.

• Apologies, attempts at amends, owning his behavior and treating people online like "things"?
• or Narcissistic Rage? Attacking his victims? Damage Control?

One guess which one he did!!

You could check out Jacoby' s fancy guitar collection below -- but after he found we had the video, he accuse us & The Exposer of "stalking" him and set the video to "private."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4_FyzrKZsQ

Just one of these has been identified as being over $6K (U.S. Funds). And he duped at LEAST one of his victims out of money almost as much money by crying "poverty"!

Online Dating Sites Sued for Fraud

Are Yahoo and Match.com bolstering their online dating services with fake ads and professional flirts?

Two lawsuits filed in California recently make such bold claims, separately accusing both firms of fraud.

Match.com says the claims are baseless; Yahoo didn't immediately respond to requests for comment.

In the Match.com case, Orange County, Calif. resident Matthew Evans accuses the site of having a "very dirty, very big secret."

"Not everyone that you meet on Match.com is just another Match.com member, " the lawsuit says. "They are Match.com employees with a secret, fraudulent mission."

Evans claims Match uses "date bait" - employees who pretend to be regular subscribers that flirt with members. The lawsuit claims online daters are often approached by date bait just as their subscriptions are about to expire. Victims receive "winks" and e-mails designed to trick them into renewing their membership, the suit alleges.

Evans also claims in the lawsuit that Match.com employees are required to go on "as many as 100 dates per month," and they are "stationed in most of the major U.S. cities."

Match.com spokeswoman Kristin Kelly called the lawsuit "completely without merit." The firm doesn't send automated winks, she said, and employees are not required to date members. Match.com has about 250 employees worldwide, and 15 million members, making the date bait claim "ridiculous."

"The allegations in this case have absolutely no basis in fact and are completely without merit," she said.

The complaint was filed Nov. 10 in U.S. District Court in Northern California.

In the Yahoo case, filed on Oct. 14, Robert Anthony of Broward County, Fla., accuses the firm of creating fake profiles to keep members interested. Yahoo, the lawsuit alleges, "deliberately and intentionally originates and perpetuates false and or nonexistent profiles on its site to generate interest ... and give the site a much more attractive and functional appearance in order to falsely represent more substantial participation than actually exists."

The lawsuit supplies few other details, however.

"Due to the complicated nature of the fraud, and the use of technology to pertpetrate the fraud, Anthony is unable to disclose all of the examples of fraud," it says.

Anthony's lawyer, Peter McNulty, didn't respond to phone calls requesting comment.

Both lawsuits seek class-action status.

'Black hole'
Mike Arias, Evans' lawyer in the Match.com case, said his client learned about the alleged practices directly from a Match.com employee he dated. Arias said he has no other plaintiffs in the case at the moment, but that he's spoken to other victims and lawyers investigating Match.com practices.

"We've investigated it enough we (to believe the allegations)," he said. "I've talked to enough people who have given me scenarios."

The lawsuit also claims that paid Match.com workers read member e-mails in order to be more seductive to members they contact.

"Match.com typically has their paid employee contact a subscriber immediately before the end of their subscription," it says. "(The employee) goes on a date with a subscriber, (and) gives the deceptive appearance of having a lot in common with the subscriber due in part to having read his or her e-mails."

Match.com's Kelly said employees are allowed to use the service, but are not told to date members.

Evans' lawsuit also claims that a flaw in Match.com technology prevents profiles older than 30 days from appearing in some searches the Web site offers. "Unless a person updates their profile, they fall into a 'black hole' of outdated profiles, never to be seen by any other person on Match again," the suit says.

Online dating is big business; for a time, it was the fastest-growing e-commerce sector. But the industry has always beaten back complaints about fraud and misrepresentation among members. Two years ago, an MSNBC.com investigation revealed a high percentage of ads on several sites were thinly veiled lures to paid porn Web sites. More recently, Nigerian scammers have seized on the services, frequently placing fake ads that lure victims into feigned relationships ultimately designed to trick them into sending large sums of money to criminals outside the U.S.

There have been accusations that dating services benefit from such practices, because if more attractive, young members appear to be using the service, that draws in more paid members.

"That is ridiculous," Kelly said. "We aggressively defend against fraud and proactively pursue it through our fraud and abuse team."

(from 2005)

Secret bait claims hit dating website

A TOP internet dating website has been accused of secretly hiring people as "date bait" to go out with some of their one million customers so they would keep paying for the service.

The lonely hearts website Match.com secretly recruited people to send enticing emails to its customers and to go out on dates with them as a way of getting them to keep up their $41 monthly subscription, a Los Angeles racketeering lawsuit said.

The company's ring-ins, branded "date bait", went on up to 100 dates a month -- three per day -- with Match.com customers, who use the site to search for boyfriends, girlfriends and spouses.

"Hiding behind Match.com's portrait of online success is a very big, very dirty secret . . . Not everyone you meet and date through Match.com is just another Match.com member," says the lawsuit.

Kristin Kelly, a spokesperson for Match.com, which has an estimated one million paid subscribers and 15 million members, said the lawsuit was completely without merit and would be vigorously challenged.

The lawsuit was filed by Matthew Evans, a Match.com customer who hopes it will draw support from enough other customers to turn into a much stronger class action suit.

Mr Evans' lawyers said he went on several dates with an attractive woman named Autumn Marzec before she allegedly confessed she was paid by the company to meet him.

Such people are given access to customers' emails to familiarise themselves with the customer, allowing them to feign interest and compatibility, the suit claims.

The worker goes on a date with the subscriber and acts as if they have a lot in common so the subscriber re-signs.

The suit also charges that when a customer's subscription was expiring, Match.com produced fake responses to customers, suggesting another person had an interest in meeting them in order to prod them to resubscribe.

The suit represents growing reports of disappointment among the tens of millions of customers of the online matchmaking industry.

The industry enjoyed an estimated $334 million in turnover during the first half of 2005. - AFP
*****

Leading online matchmaker sued for bogus dating scam

Match.com, one of the top Internet dating websites, has been accused of hiring people as "date bait" to date some of their one million customers to encourage them to keep paying for the service.

A Los Angeles racketeering lawsuit said the lonely hearts website secretly recruited people to send enticing emails to its customers and to go out on dates with them as a way of getting them to keep up their 30 dollars monthly subscription.

The company's ringers, branded "date bait", went on as many as 100 dates a month - three per day - with Match.com customers, who use the site to search for boyfriends, girlfriends, and possible husbands and wives. "Hiding behind Match.com's portrait of online success is a very big, very dirty secret ... Not everyone you meet and date through Match.com is just another Match.com member," said the lawsuit, filed in a Los Angeles court on November 10.

Kristin Kelly, a spokesperson for Match.com - which has an estimated one million paid subscribers and 15 million members — denied the charges, saying the lawsuit is "completely without merit" and would be "vigorously" challenged. The lawsuit was filed by Matthew Evans, a Match.com customer who hopes it will draw support from enough other customers to turn into a much stronger class action suit.

Evan's lawyers said he went on several dates with an attractive woman named Autumn Marzec before she allegedly confessed that she was paid by the company to meet him. Such ringers are given access to customers' emails to familiarize themselves with the customer, allowing them to feign interest and compatibility, the suit claimed. "The paid Match.com employee then goes on a date with the subscriber, gives the deceptive appearance of having a lot in common with the subscriber ... with the intent of luring the subscriber into re-signing with Match.com," the suit alleges.

The suit charges as well that when a customer's subscription was expiring, Match.com produced fake responses to customers, suggesting another person had an interest in meeting them, in order to prod them to resubscribe. The Los Angeles suit represented growing reports of disappointment among the tens of millions of customers of the online matchmaking industry, which is led by Yahoo! Personals, Match.com, and EHarmony.

The industry enjoyed an estimated 245 million dollars in turnover during the first half of 2005. While the industry advertises its success stories - customers who meet online and eventually get married - some disappointments have raised questions of industry practices. Earlier this year Californian James Hunt complained that for the nearly 3,000 dollars he paid to matchmaker Together Inc., he didn't receive the guaranteed nine introductions of "nearly compatible" women. The company disputed his claim.

In New York, the Great Expectations dating service was recently ordered by a judge to refund money to two women who said they never got any dates after paying up to $1,000 for a six month subscription. "I just wanted to go out for coffee and have nice conversations with a couple of people. Instead, I got not a single introduction," said a disappointed 43 year old who identified herself only as Jennifer. "I think I’ll stick to meeting people at bus stops and the elevator," she said.
*****

Better to have loved and lost, even on the internet

A quick look at any online dating site will tell you that everyone is lying

The online dating world has been rocked by claims in Los Angeles that dating companies have been paying women to go on sham dates with male subscribers to make the men think the site is generating results and thus renew their membership fees.

A man in his thirties who signed up to www.match.com, a web dating service that claims 12 per cent of American weddings began with an online introduction has launched a lawsuit accusing the company offraud. He claims to be the victim of a scam he discovered after a "buxom, dark-haired, younger woman" that he had taken on several dates confessed to having been paid to make contact with up to 100 members a month.

More complaints and revealing comments on Online Dating, click on the site name(s):

Mate 1

EHarmony and Cupid.com

Adult Friend Finder

True

Yahoo Personals

These are just a few! BEWARE!!!

HOW ONLINE STUPIDITY CAN GET YOU IN BIG BIG TROUBLE!

REVENGE OF THE SPAM
Gregory Steven Hart lives behind black metal gates in a house full of computers, elegant sculptures and expensive liquor that he never drinks.

Three days after Christmas, Deputy Sheriff Russell Hemmendinger hauled Hart to jail. The charges were driving with a suspended license and resisting arrest. The deputy took him down in the driveway of his $367,000 Lutz home, in front of his pregnant wife and neighbors.

Hart posted bail and went home and got to work. Within 24 hours, the first concerned citizen e-mailed the Pasco County Sheriff's Office.

From: tom and ray

To: dtobin@pascosheriff.org

Subject: Is Officer R. Hemmendinger Gay?

Has Officer R. Hemmendinger ever had sex with a boy that's under the age of 16?

*****

Hart is 43, a database developer for a massive health care corporation called Baxter International. He has a clean record, aside from nearly two dozen traffic tickets - mostly for speeding and running red lights - in the past decade. These led to the license suspension, which led Hemmendinger to his doorstep.

Hemmendinger is 31, married, a Pasco deputy for three years. His record is spotless. Citizens have written the agency to commend him for good work.

Hart claims that during the arrest Hemmendinger "started screaming and yelling hysterically at me ... like a lunatic." He returned from jail and began digging. He says his research convinced him that Hemmendinger was a homosexual pedophile.

A reporter pressed him for evidence.

"I can't go into detail," he said.

Did he report the supposed transgression to the Sheriff's Office?

No. He says couldn't trust them to investigate.

Hart had another idea. He has his own software company, Database Engineers, as well as a computer armed with a program called Atomic Mail Sender and a list of addresses known to accept spam.

Hundreds, perhaps thousands of e-mails screamed into cyberspace:

Who is Pasco Sherriff Officer R. Hemmendinger?

How is he a suspect as a child molester?

Is he homosexual?

Does he have sex with boys under the age of 16? Regularly?

Contact the Pasco County Public Information Director ...

Demand to accept ONLY the truth!

*****

One of these e-mails reached Pasco Deputy Eric Pfenninger, who alerted Hemmendinger, who reeled with disbelief. The e-mail led to two sites, Hemmendinger.net and Hemmendinger.org, at least one of which advertised an upcoming gay dating service called Hemmendinger Homosexual Haven.

Hemmendinger plugged the name into an online service that lists the owners of Web domains. The answer came back: Database Engineers Inc. The sole officer was Gregory Hart.

Hemmendinger notified his superiors and denied the allegations. Meanwhile, the Public Information Office took more than a dozen phone calls and nearly 70 e-mails from citizens.

The public-information officers told the citizens it appeared to be the work of a malcontent bent on vengeance. The agency did not conduct an internal-affairs investigation. Public Information Director Kevin Doll said there was no evidence with which to start one.

On Jan. 12, Hemmendinger filed a lawsuit accusing Hart of defaming his good name. The suit is pending in circuit court. Libel experts say Hemmendinger may have a strong case.

Here are two of Hart's defenses:

1. "I haven't made a statement. I asked a question."

Jurors may see through that, said Dale Herbeck, who teaches communication law at Boston College. "This is kind of like asking, 'When did you stop beating your wife?' "

2. He didn't personally send the e-mails - his corporation did.

Nonsense, said Clark Furlow, who teaches corporation law at Stetson University College of Law.

"If I'm driving a car and I run you down in the street, I'm liable. The fact that I'm driving for a company doesn't change anything."

ORIGINAL

MORE FROM DAN JACOBY - The "Love" Bomber

"... LOVE BOMBING or showing an unusually intense interest in [someone’s] life and activities — is manipulative and deceitful ...particularly one at a vulnerable stage, such attention can be flattering, but [ ]it represents an attempt at mind control. Mind-control techniques such as love-bombing are designed to bypass a person’s intelligence and especially his critical-thinking skills.

When a lonely or hurting (emotionally or physically) person suddenly receives an overwhelming amount of love and acceptance, it is extremely difficult for them to stand back and assess the reasons for this or question something he desperately doesn’t want to have disappear." - Jason Gay, The Boston Phoenix

This is how cyberpaths rope you in and keep you in. As FAST as the attention and "love bombing" starts - it can come to a crashing stop. And the cyberpath will say they "can't control themselves" but they can and do. (Remember gridney/ yidwithlid did this to his Target #1 - and as soon as he was confronted - he stopped and ran away. Total control despite his protestation to the opposite. Leaving Target #1 twisting the wind and trauma bonded to him. On purpose. Because he wanted complete power over her & the relationship. There was nothing equal or loving on his part, about it. )

Notice the commonality of tactics between Jacoby? Gash? Hicks? Beckstead? etc... (see list at right for links to these stories)

By overwhelming you with love talk, attention, gifts, and sometimes sexuality - the cyberpath leaves you breathless, unable to think - you are in a sort of trance then. Very susceptible to suggestion. And then you are in their control.

Remember, the best way of killing someone is when you tell them that you love them because all her/his defenses go down. - Dr. Ludger Hofmann-Engl

Here's just one of Jacoby's numerous LOVE BOMBS to his victim. He's a piece of work:

From: Jacoby
To: victim
Date: Sun, 18 Dec 2005

I feel hopeless. I am a dead man without you, but I’m dying a slow death every time we hurt each other. You know I want you in my life. You ARE my life. I’m so lovesick it hurts even when I’m smiling. I’m sorry, but unless you didn't give me a thought this morning you must have known I would be devastated finding an empty mailbox in the morning - especially after crying out that I couldn't take much more (of our misunderstandings). (what happened - was she questioning him about his b.s.? LOL)

I love you. More than anyone could possibly love you. If you really believe that, ANYTHING I write that doesn't make sense or seems inappropriate shouldn't upset you so very much. (telling her how to feel about your sick requests, Jacoby?) I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. If I lose you, I die just as I would had we never met, only quicker. If we embrace each other, I will be blessed with a mortal life most people could only dream of.

I pray about us so many times during the day. I ask God to smile upon us, and to confirm in my heart that what we have is His blessing. My heart and prayers tell me you were brought to me to renew my spirit and give me a second chance at living. That's a big responsibility for you. (using spirituality & religion - one of the predator's LURES!)

I know you could move on without me and be fine. You're still healthy even with your withdrawal symptoms. You're beautiful. You've got friends who buy you thongs and ex's who want you back. If moving on is something YOU want to do - to unburden yourself from me - I will understand. I certainly wouldn't blame you. (Jacoby - the MARTYR MAN)

I’m willing to do everything in my power to keep the best thing that ever happened to me growing. Its only going to get tougher, and if I get sicker I may write even more senseless, tasteless babble. (placing blame on his illness! LOL Sounds like Yidwithlid blaming his ADHD)There may be days when I’m too sick to email at all. There will certainly be many days when technical problems keep us apart. You have your bad days, too. Even with all these obstacles, the thought of our precious first embrace makes all the suffering and struggling seem insignificant.

I love you completely, Victim. I need you if I am to ever live and be happy again. I know for a fact that I would die for you. I would hate to die without you. Every minute that passes knowing things aren't right between us is no different than slowly bleeding to death. I don't want to die. I want to live and spend every waking moment making you happy.

No more silly thoughts. No more mental torture. Just kindness, compassion, and love. The kind only you and I are capable of experiencing.

I’m here if you'll have me. I’m gone forever if we can't love each other and show it.

I love you with every bit of my being. Danny xxxxxxx
_______________

Jacoby wrote:

I'm pretty darn tired of stress. I had much more fun and much less stress talking about loving you up all day and night. (her and all his other online playmates - who think he's for real when he's just having fun at their expense!)

We will cut! Standing still too long is the same as going backwards. Its been a very rough year. Full of medical messes and other stress that has taken its toll. I breezed through the first 40 mgs of my taper. Gotta stay focused.

Victim, dear. You know you mean everything to me. You are the REASON I love, the REASON I breathe, and the REASON I live and fight for my healing. I can't let a single moment pass without thinking of you. There is only you in my heart, and I will never, EVER let you go.

I love you so deeply, TV. Danny xxxxxxx

(Jacoby must have a template of these cyber-love bombs that he just inserts his cyber-flavor of the moment's name into!)

Remember: you can NOT love someone you have not meet in person, let alone someone you haven't spent significant face time with. And NOT TIME IN BED - with them, their friends, your friends, your families - day to day living. Love grows. To the cyberpath LOVE is just a word! A word to manipulate and twist your emotions and give them power over you.

Let's look at Jacoby in the love-bombing context. And see some of what he "gets" out of his target. Remember he'd been guilting her for 'intimate photos'? Let's say now, he's told her he's divorcing, broke and pretty much a 'single parent' with little funds to get anything for Christmas. So guess who comes through for this "poor poor man"? And Jacoby's twisted her head so much - she's programmed to give - give - give.

Here's one of his "set up" emails to fleece her:

Jacoby wrote:

you know you don't have to get me nuthin'. (isn't that code for "BUT I WILL LOVE YOU IF YOU DO!")

i was looking at getting [my child] a printer for Christmas. she asked for one last summer that printed photos and stuff but it was a little pricey. she knows i don't have any money. besides, she will be so busy [while away] i don't think she will miss it. i may order her something so she can have it when she comes home next week. (unless you get it for her First!!)

you need your money. (guilt AGAIN! remember, narcissistic types use a lot of opposite or backward talk to get what they want. ie: DON'T means DO!)

i wish i felt better. the good news is i am finally on the macintosh (that Victim bought for Jacoby!) all the time now. even through the pain i can manage a smile when i use it. (because I'm so pleased with myself that I coerced and fleeced you out of your hard-earned money)

i love you. db xxxxxxx
_____________________


from 12/ 2006
Victim: Are you there, honey?
Dan: i am. not well. you ok?
V: did you get my last note?
D: no honey. been waiting.
V: i wrote over 90 minutes ago
D: i didnt get it sweetheart. can you sent it again.
V: are you chatting to someone? (he sure is!!!)
D: no honey (lie)
V: i re-sent the note
D: thank you honey (like Ed Hicks -- easier to use HONEY than her name)
V: i dunno why you did'nt get the last one
V: maybe my email server is playin' up again
D: im reading it, hun. 1 sec.
V: ok
D: honey you know better
V: better than what?
D: i dont wanna open up any more wounds
D: we got enough
V: i just hate it
D: im sorry hun
D: i do too
D: its hard enough gettin through the days
D: and i love the ocean
V: we went through so much at the hands of those people
D: i listen to it every day
D: yes we did
V: i really resent them for that
D: i do too, hun
D: more than you know
D: i dont like bitter unforgiveing self-centered people (even though he is one -- he's talking about the people who tried to WARN the VICTIM!!)
V: that's why i want no truck with them
D: yes ma'am
D: this is hard for me. i dont see you online.
V: no i did'nt make myself "visible"
D: oh ok
D: i just have a hard time sitting up and typing, though i love my computer (he sure does)
D: and my CK undies (Dan, how did you explain to your wife that you got some woman to send you UNDERWEAR?)
V: did you try em?
D: yes
V: are they a snugfit?
D: snug
V: lol
V: did you listen to all angels, honey?
D: every day, hunny.
V: those kids are only 17
D: Agnus Dei is one of my favorite songs of all time. yes. i read about them on the web.
D: from "Platoon"
D: its lovely
V: i love "the flower duet"
D: me too
V: and "steal away"
V: and i adore "songbird"
D: i love the songbird video
V: yes
V: do theose cd's help you relaxhoney?
D: yes
D: i love the waves so much
V: good
V: i wanted to bring the ocean to you
D: you did
V: you can lay there and imagine you have your feet in the water
D i do
V: good
V: you want me to go?
D: i just have troub;e typing
V: yes
D: but i love you
V: i love you, too
D: you made my christmas
V: i'm glad
D: i have all my toys around me (the ones he scammed from Victim by pleading poverty? or the other online targets he scams & TOYS with?)
D: the next time i get dressed and go out, i'm wearing my jersey.
V: it's the nicest england shirt to date
D: its lovely
V: best design
D: i adore it
V: 3 lions
V: cross of st george
D: its gorgeous
D: and it smells nice
D: smells like your house (how would he know? see how he inserts himself into her REALITY to anchor his presence -- mind control!)
V: does it?
V: what does it smell of?
D: i dunno. does it? potporri
D: sp?
V: prolly me
D: its nice
V: eden
V: cacharel
D: delicious.
V: i folded it all nice
V: with lotsa loving care
D: i could tell
D: i really could
D: it took me hours to open everything
V: lol
V: there wasn't much there
D: ther was
V: i wanted to sed much more
V: send
D: you sent too much
V: i just wanted to bring you some sunshine
D: you always do
V: would you miss me if i was gone?
D: yes
V: that's cuz you're used to me
V: like a pair of comfy old slippers
D: i would like to think so
V: did you taste a little bitta chocolate?
D: just a little
D: the cookies
V: lol
V: you mean the chocolate shortbread?
D: YES!!!
D: awesome
V: at least xxxx will ahve the pleasure
D: she is gonna be thrilled
V: i hope it gets there before she leaves
D: it will get there monday morning
V: good
V: did you tell her
D: yes i did
D: shes thrilled
V: bless her heart
D: shes a happy girl, hun
V: she's in for the experience of a lifetime
D: its gonna change her life
V: it'll bring her closer to God
V: for sure
V: i could smell Jerusalem on my packages
D: she asked me what i wanted for christmas...
D: i said...
D: a prayer from you from galilee on christmas day
V: wonderful
V: you got your spirit very well taken care of
V: i hope you place your mezuzah when you're feeling up to it
D: i need to find a place big enough. the ones ive seen used to be so tiny, but its gorgeous. i opened it and touched the words.
V: i was going to get you a smaller one honey
D: i love this one
V: but they did'nt have smaller sterling silver ones
V: they were the nicest ones
V: the silver i mean
D: this one is perfect
V: i thought maybe it would be a little on the large side
D: its lovely
V: i have the exact same one
D: do ya?
V: yes
V: i bought them for us both
D: i love em
D: i have it righ here
D: right
V: i touch it each time i pass
D: "over", lol
V: lol
V: yeah
V: over
D: my shoulders hurt, honey. thats why its hard to chat versus just typing (besides I got porn babes and other targets waiting!!)
V: okay
V: i'll go
D: i wish u were here
V: i know honey
V: i do too
D: i should rest
V: okay
D: i pray we both sleep well, sweetheart. you know i do.
D: are you there, honey
V: yeah
D: God bless you, sweatheart
D: and keep you safe
V: God bless you, too
D: please have sweet dreams. sweet kisses just for you.
V: sweet dreams
D: Goodnight, TV. i love you more than you think i do. i really do. xxxxxxxxxx
V: i know you do, sweetheart
V: i love you, too
V: sweet kisses, baby
D: sweet kisses xxxxxx

MORE FROM JACOBY SOON!! ...If we all can stomach it!

WARNING (2009) - Jacoby has found his way BACK on to the recovery forums (such as benzobuddies, etc) using a new IP number and false identities (ex: "Nurse Tanya" and "Elwood"). Despite the forum managers saying they have banned him forever - they have not been able to stop this remorseless predator! One forum manager refuses to listen and remove his multiple identities. Beware!

Daniel Jacoby -- Tantrums With A Keyboard

Jacoby tips his hand. He likes to hack, attack and threaten when people find him out. And he's been caught before!!!!

His unwitting victim -- when she still thought he was a good guy -- told him one of the recovery forums was on to him. Check his response!! Now she knows -- everything she heard was RIGHT!
---------------------

"From: A MANAGER FROM A FORUM WHERE JACOBY WAS BANNED
To: One of Jacoby's Victims
Date: Fri, 6 Oct 2006 07:46:40 -0700

"Thank you for your email and I was sorry to hear that you are suffering. Once again, I am very short on time and while I do want to respond to what you have written, it may be until the first of next week until I am able to do so.

"I will say in the interim that even if I forwarded you copies of the emails, etc. and connections to the individuals at the forum that have said things, clearly it would all be hearsay and able to be explained away by denying that Dan did, in fact, send them or behave in this manner. It could be argued that he was being set-up, etc., etc., I understand all that and know that things like this happen in life.

"What I don't understand is the string of women that have come forth, with generally the same accusations... the key word here being "string". I could understand one, or even two and write it off as sour grapes or, a relationship gone bad or even someone out to do harm to his reputation or even at the extreme that this was a bizarre set of coincidences, but when coupled with:

**the fact the he posed as "Carolfilms" for such a long time, going to the extremes of creating this fictitious identity (even while he was a member on the forum as Dan) leads me to believe that his character is suspect (and yes, I am absolutely positively and entirely sure that it was him; we have the software capability to check that; not to mention the fact that it was brought to our attention by several members); and

**he hacked into the administration room of the prior forum and this is why we are moved to the board we are presently. Once again, there is no doubt that he did this; we were 'sitting' in the administration room one day while he hacked in to read.

In my opinion, if he can do all these things (and the last two are not just speculation; I witnessed them both with my own eyes), then he is certainly capable of doing what these other women have accused him.

"I am sorry if this brings distress to you... I know that you are fragile from other life circumstances. However, I hope now that you can understand where I am coming from better and why I have so many questions. "I have wanted to warn you many times about the things I have seen. Being privvy to how the internet works and all the headgames that people play that is. At any rate, I will write more later and wish you a good weekend."

Here's Jacoby's response when his naive victim (at the time) showed him what was said. Lies, threats, accusations -- in general, a cyberpath TANTRUM. As always -- our comments in Dark Blue:

From: "Dan"
Date: Mon, 9 Oct 2006 19:01:15 -0400

Are you saying they posted something on the forum (some sort of 'warning" about me) just RECENTLY?

They have NO proof whatsoever. She believes whatever crap is spoon fed to her. I have NEVER hacked into that site, nor do I have the desire. If I DID have the desire, I could crush it and they would never know what or WHO hit them... but I am NOT that kind of person. (sure you are! why even SAY it if you're not??)

There is NOTHING going on there. I have seen MANY decent people on other forums post terrible things about the staff at that place. (how high school -- "everbody else says...")

Yes. I agree. The police SHOULD be involved. Once I have all of this forwarded to my attorney, they may get their wish. There are at least 2 or 3 people there who deserve some time in jail for what they have accused me of. (I am such a big threatening man... that once the police get involved they may find out I AM WHAT EVERYONE ELSE CAUGHT ME BEING -- A PREDATOR!!!)

I'm not letting this drop if they won't. Its time to take them down. Let THEM try and defend THEIR character for once in the OPEN where they will be forced to confront me. (ooooo my poor REPUTATION. With a cyberpath? It's a FALSE reputation at best)

Cowards.

Dan.
~~~~~~~~~~
It's too bad this moderator doesn't understand stand Online Predators and their brainwashing and mind control techniques. And BOY is he projecting. He admits and almost brags he knows how to destroy websites!!

Did anything ever happen with his threats? NO! Like gridney/Yidwithlid's Target #1 said

"if I am as bad he says I am... I should be in jail; so he'd better call the police on me now."

The police? Never showed up!!

Beckstead? similar threats! LOL

ALL pathologicals threaten like this -- its another red flag.

At least Jacoby's victims are taking time now to make sure he won't be doing this again soon.

WARNING (2009) - Jacoby has found his way BACK on to the recovery forums (such as benzobuddies, etc) using a new IP number and false identities (ex: "Nurse Tanya" and "Elwood"). Despite the forum managers saying they have banned him forever - they have not been able to stop this remorseless predator! One forum manager refuses to listen and remove his multiple identities. Beware!

Sott.net Sued by a Predator for Talking About Him!

Posting in full support of our good friends at Sott.net who are also trying to get the word out about these predators and how they use whatever they can to lure victims:

We have talked about the narcissistic rage that cyberpaths/ predator experience when they are caught and exposed. They lie, say it is a set up, blame their victims - and some even try using the legal system against their innocent victims! This case is a complete travesty and hope the courts will see it for what it is. Eric Pepin was tried for being a sexual predator, is now suing an internet forum (sott.net) where people are discussing it.

Whenever these guys protest like this, in our opinion, its a HUGE SHINING BEACON that points right at their guilt and guilty consciences. Don't they HATE it when you figure their game out and keep catching them at it! And we plan to keep doing just that.

Eric Pepin - Higher Balance Institute Sues SOTT for $4.47 Million Over SOTT Forum Comments!

Laura Knight-Jadczyk
sott.net

Yesterday, as I was working on finishing up the next installment of the Comet Series of Articles, FedEx delivered a packet of mail from our corporate registered agent in the U.S. It was "Complaint and Demand for Jury Trial" filed in the State of Oregon by Eric Pepin's Higher Balance Institute, LLC. The reason? A discussion on the SOTT Forum that begins HERE.

Well, that was entertaining enough when you think about the fact that the discussion that he objects to was centered on several newspaper articles that describe his close calls with the legal system in Oregon over charges of sex abuse.

The legal document I received is 10 pages long so I'm just going to summarize it here. If you want to read the whole thing (it's hilarious beyond belief!) go HERE for the pdf.

....And now, Pepin wants to sue QFG and yours truly for talking about these articles, published in a newspaper (though they are no longer on the newspaper's website, but can be found elsewhere on the net)!!

Notice that Pepin, himself, revealed his "sex cult" practices in his own testimony. We'll be getting transcripts of the trial to publish so our readers can hear it from the horse's mouth; stay tuned for that.

Notice also that Pepin's attorney, Houze, accused the victim of bringing charges because he wanted to shake down Pepin. Well, maybe that's what gave Pepin the idea of suing me. Only thing is, he's gonna have a hard time collecting his 4.47 million because I don't own a thing and QFG rarely has more than a grand in the bank at any given time. When we have fund-raisers, the funds disappear almost instantly, repaying loans and covering basic expenses for the site and equipment.

It's also humorous that Pepin is suing QFG which only sponsors a world-wide group of independent researchers who, together, make up sott.net. QFG doesn't own sott, nor does QFG have any employees nor any official oversight of anything that the sott.net researchers say or do.

But the bottom line is this: Eric Pepin is convicted out of his own mouth of being a sexual predator. I mean, what kind of teacher of meditation says that he has sex with all his employees? And all of them young and good looking?

Nope, we aren't backing down. We firmly believe that Eric Pepin is a danger to innocent people looking for spiritual guidance. Obviously, young guys just looking for sex and money and a good time will be delighted to take his pills, listen to his tapes and attend his retreats. But the wider public who are not aware of these things in Pepin's background, that even the judge who acquitted him regretted having to do so, and that the Prosecutor of the case was also convinced that justice had NOT been done, need to be warned about this sexual predator in our midst.

Good for you, Laura for NOT backing down!!

Pepin admitted he has sex with all his YOUNG EMPLOYEES? Well, just look at that photo above. Then wonder what planet that sort of behavior is O.K. on? Amazing that these pathologically distrubed people can find attorneys willing to TAKE these cases as well!

ORIGINAL ARTICLE CLICK HERE

Law Enforcement is WOEFULLY ignorant in this area saying nonsense like "take down the exposes" and helping the PREDATOR push their sympathy ploy that they are being harrassed. No way! Exposing them is a public service. Period. It's not illegal unless you put information out there that could be used in identity theft against them or do something stupid like list them on craigslist as a prostitute as revenge.

Stick to the 100% truth - and don't be afraid to tell it. - The "Fighter" Team

Daniel Jacoby. - The Guilt Tripping, Whining Pervert

Herewith are a few emails between Dan Jacoby (aka DB) & just one of his victims.
Notice the "love bombing" comments from him. Seems Jacoby asked her for some 'intimate' photos as proof of her love for him - while reassuring her his love is real. Now remember, these guys are the same ones who, when caught, say "IT WAS ALL A GAME", and "SHE KNEW IT WAS A GAME AND PLAYED ALONG" as well as calling these 'scorned women' LIARS, KOOKS, STALKERS and NUTJOBS. Tell us:

• Does this really sound like a 'game'?
• Does this sound like this victim made up her pain & concern out of whole cloth?
• Does this sound like Jacoby never asked for her attentions or encouraged them?
• Do the victims do these things because they are sexual predators, too - or because they truly LOVE these men (who turn out to be: Predators)?

(BTW - these emails sound eerily familiar to BECKSTEAD, GRIDNEY/ YIDWITHLID, ED HICKS and JOHN GASH. Additionally, very much like the overwhelming techniques used in sexual seduction - overwhelm the victim with emotion when all the predator really wants is sex.) "I LOVE YOU" are just words to these guys. It has the same emotional impact to them as "I NEED MORE TOILET PAPER." Unfortunately, the victim's bondedness is very real.

(Please note that the victim in this case is RECOVERING FROM BENZO ADDICTION. So notice how Jacoby uses the same psychological/ chemical pathways to lure, manipulate & hook her in! He has done this to other & will again and again until stopped)

Women instinctively know what relieves anxiety and reduces stress hormones levels - emotional, physical and sexual intimacy.

The bonding hormone oxytocin is one of the most powerful natural anti-anxiety chemicals there is! That is why sex is so relaxing. During sex, oxytocin is released and you feel not only happy and bonded with your mate, but afterwards, you are relaxed and anxiety-free. (Yes, even CYBERSEX!)

Early in the relationship, the psychopath isolates his woman from the rest of the world and her social network. Therefore, she has little emotional support from others that would normally serve to help her reduce or manage her anxiety effectively.

Being with a psychopath is anxiety-producing. The psychopath has a fight with her raising her level of anxiety. She thinks about leaving or takes steps to leave the relationship and that triggers profound anxiety in her. Without friends and family as support to help her manage her anxiety, she is in need of anxiety relief. She turns to the psychopath himself - both the creator and reliever of stress. He gratefully relieves her anxiety through (cyber)sex.

“It feels like a drug. Am I addicted to him?” Three things are at play in her attachment:
1. The high levels of attachment she is prone to because of her temperament.
2. The high levels of bonding she is feeling that she thinks the psychopath is mutually feeling.
3. She mistakes intensity for real connection.

These intense and yet different connections will lay the groundwork for the pathological love relationship dynamics which we will discuss later in the book. For now, understand her ability to deeply attach is significantly larger than the person who does not have her strong attachment trait.

Additionally, high levels of relationship investment set up an entrapping cycle within the pathological love relationship. If she pleases the psychopath with (cyber)sex and he praises her for it, her positive relationship reward was both the feeling she had in pleasing him (and herself) and the praise and stabilization of the relationship she experienced.

Add to it the “buzz” of the bonding hormones and her anxiety reduction and you have a cycle of bonding that entraps her.

- Sandra Brown, MA - WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS

Jacoby apparently has a habit of taking screen shots of his victims on webcam while chatting with them. WithOUT their knowledge or permission. For insurance... when he dumps them for fresh prey. Then threatens to post these private shots to the world (or maybe he sells them to online porn sites!)

As always, our comments are in Dark Blue. - Fighter
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From: DAN JACOBY

If I loved MY WIFE like I love you and was in my situation, yes... I would have asked. I wish you would have told me weeks ago. I'll never bring it up again. (SURE you will! and the only person you love? IS YOURSELF!!)

-----Message-----
FROM: Victim
TO: Jacoby

No honey, I don't have to ask. You know I always look for reassurance, because of our situation.

Sweetheart, sometimes I wonder what you would think of me for being so forward. I know we have our intimacy, and we are very explicit during those times. I'm totally comfortable with it, because I love you.

When you totally and absolutely love a woman you don't want them to compromise themselves by doing something like sending nude pictures of themselves out into cyberspace. Would you EVER have asked YOUR WIFE to do anything like that? What would you think of her if she did? I am only making a comparison. I'm not writing this because I don't trust you. It just bothers me that you asked me to do it in the first place. You know what I'm trying to say.

I'm sorry about sending more than one video. I hate you to hurt.

I love you, Danny
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: DAN JACOBY
To: Victim

Just forget about it. I never loved MY WIFE anywhere near as much as I love you. Not even close.

You put everything I write under a microscope. I wouldn't ever let anyone see those pictures of you because I’m an honorable man and I love you and ONLY you. You shouldn't have even had to ask such a silly question. (REMEMBER HE SAID THIS! And notice how Jacoby makes his VICTIM FEEL GUILTY for hedging or asking questions!! Guilt dumping!! Blame shifting!!)

I was a fool for ever asking you to do such a thing. It was wrong of me. (YES IT WAS!!)

You know you can put files in a password protected ZIP file so no one can see them but me, don't you? (yet he KEEPS ON PRODDING!! And he will only "protect" them until he needs to harass or threaten you into silence about his true nature! Then you will be all over the net and at the police with Dan's SELECTIVE INFORMATION)

I never expected you to do anything that made you uncomfortable, but I CERTAINLY didn't expect you to string me along and not just say "I’m uncomfortable sending these over the internet". That would have been a lot more honest and understandable than "I've gotta top off my tan". I’m sure you look wonderful. I even told you I just wanted more "regular" pictures of you. At least a chance to see you like your co-workers or strangers in the street. Still nothing.

I love you as much as ever, but I’m sick as hell inside for ever asking such a terrible thing and for being strung along week after week. (Check the GUILT, OBLIGATION and MIND-TWISTING bull Jacoby lays on here)

I’m crushed and ashamed. I hope you can forgive me. I’m trying hard not to stomp this gadget into the ground. (boo hoo hoo - he can always look at internet porn instead of trying to cyber-rape a normal woman who he's already brainwashed. But no... he keeps on)

I love you. Danny


-----ANOTHER Message-----
FROM: Victim

Dan, you loved YOUR WIFE far more than you love me, because you married her, and she's the mother of your child. I understand that. I wanted to send those pictures to you. They're still there on the camera. The thing that phased me, and "threw" me, somewhat, was when you said that I shouldn't worry about you showing them to people, because I could always use the "private" one of you as a weapon. (did Jacoby tell her something previously about HIS M.O.? Cyberpaths often slip up and foreshadow their future threats, smear and attacking behavior early on - if one pays attention.)

I can't count the times I've been about to send them to you, and I always stop myself. Now you probably feel differently to me. I just don't know. I'm crying. I'll have to go. This is the reason I would never tell you right out that I was dubious about sending them. I was always scared of your reaction, and that you'd feel differently to me because I did'nt send them. Now you can't even bring yourself to write "I love you". (Now Jacoby has apparently made her feel his LOVE will be withdrawn because she didn't send the intimate pics. Sick boy)

I love you, just the same as always. - VICTIM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: JACOBY
To: Victim

Its got nothing to do with the "pictures". I don't need to see your perfectly maintained body to love you. I asked you SEVERAL times if you were comfortable about it. All I got was "You'll get 'em. Have I ever failed you?". All you had to do was tell me the truth. You know how much YOU mean to me. You think I would hurt YOU to get my hands on some stupid "nudie" pictures? Thanks for thinking so highly of me. (Jacoby again laying on the GUILT, OBLIGATION and COVERT comments about his VERY CONDITIONAL "love." Remember he said this!! He's most probably done this before to victims and is angry these pics aren't as easy to obtain this time. He's blame-shifting because his victim's gut is telling her something's not right... and he's having to work overtime to override it)

How can you POSSIBLY love me???? I’m not a gentleman, you fear my reactions. I just don't get it. I’m going fucking insane. (boo hoo again, Jacoby)

Anything else been on your mind for the last four months that you want to tell me about? (a cyber tantrum from the thwarted predator. Typical. Now she's stuck between her ethics and his brainwashing. This is a situation that, in one way or another ALL our victims find themselves in. Truly sick on Jacoby's part)

I feel like a worthless excuse for one of God's children. (you are, Danny Boy -- you are - for even SUBJECTING this poor, hurting woman to your sociopathic baloney IN this position)

Goodnight. I love you, too. I hate my life though. God be with you. I’m signing off. (That's right, drop in as MUCH guilt as possible so the VICTIM is absolutely tortured while you're offline not even thinking about it and doing whatever with whoever)

-----ANOTHER Message-----
From: Victim

Does your love for me really depend on a couple of explicit pictures? (unfortunately - it does. Jacobyneeds insurance for when he drop kicks your mind, heart & soul eventually)

I love you with all my heart and soul. (But that's not enough for Dan. Because he is pathological and has no heart or soul. Just sick need and deviant desires)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Dan Jacoby
To: Victim

I’m devoted to you, Victim. (Until I log on with someone else or I get bored with you and you darned reality-checks) My relationship with MY WIFE has been over for many years. It took this illness and being stuck at home to wake me up to the reality of our marriage. I’m yours and yours alone. (For this email only) You're stuck with me, too. Is that OK? :-) (no comment! ick!)

I love you. Danny

-----ANOTHER Message-----
From: Victim

You know that you have no need at all to worry! I am devoted to you, sweetheart. You're my all consuming passion. (Unfortunately, he is) I know that you are a moral man, and if by chance YOUR WIFE asked to "try again" you would. I would never, ever judge you for that. Do you honestly think that I could give my heart to anyone else, after I've given it totally to you? You should never, ever worry about me walking away from you! (She couldn't if she wanted to because now she's not just brainwashed - she's TRAUMA BONDED to him; thanks to his playing on her guilt and fair-mindedness)

I love you. Victim
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Notice the Oh-So- NOT-NICE way Dan gossips with another person here about other people on the recovery boards.

TO: Dan Jacoby

Hey Dan... I don't want to upset you with this gossip thing or get anyone in trouble but I also understand that things need to be dragged out in the open to heal...I think you'll probably understand... I would want to know.

When I first started talking with M he said to be very careful of you and J. J had given me the creeps anyway so that was no big issue but I was really surprised about you. He said that he had heard from a very reliable source, that he trusts implicitly (DON'T quote me but I assumed he was talking about A), that you and J took advantage of a girl called E and convinced her in her vulnerable state into giving you a very explicit web cam sex show.

To be honest I just believed what M had said until I saw you put up a post about E and I got the impression you had been close and were very upset about her being taken advantage of my "certain" forum members. That was when I realized that anything M said could have been a load of bollocks and said to suit him. I think maybe he was jealous of you and A? Who knows.

When M was here, just before he left, he stirred up trouble on [support forum] by posting a comment as a "guest" when the forum was in maintenance mode. He said something like "B must die" - very grownup! lol. Of course they logged the IP address and when I joined up they put two and two together and thought I was an imposter. I was really upset and explained that M was staying here. They accepted that but I still felt a bit alienated and mistrusted. M decided he would try and "fix" this by writing an email to C even though had asked for him to just leave it all alone so it could die down and I could fit in. I knew what he was doing but pretended I didn't to see if M was prepared to lie about it. Of course he did lie about it but C and I have discussed it since and their correspondence went back and forth for some time. I have yet to see copies of what M talked about but C kept saying "why don't you just show J these emails! so she knows it's ok" but he wouldn't - he is a creepy manipulative bastard (scuse my language).

C thought it was very wierd. What made me laugh is that M couldn't work out how they had formed a link between me and him - I'm not sure he even understood what an IP address is.. LOL.

Since then all I have heard is that the forum was having trouble with predators - to be honest I thought they might have meant M since he is working his way through a few himself. J was a big offender but think everyone was aware of that. Apparently it ran deeper than that and the gossip mill was saying G had been a victim but was refusing to name the culprit - maybe why you were implicated because of your close friendship with her? (probably was JACOBY that exploited her!) That's all I have... apart from who is gay and who is not... LOL.

Hope you are relaxing with the tele and this is not causing you too much stress. I would love to talk to VICTIM. She seems so down to earth - my kinda girl! I shall send her an email when I get a chance. (like gridney/ YidwithLid -- using the good words of one "Target" to work over another "Target"!)

J
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From:
Sun, 4 Sep 2005 09:27:25 -0400

J

I'm stunned, but not surprised. I spent the night with my mind racing and experiencing a full spectrum of emotions ranging from anger, relief, and deep sadness. The good news is I am no longer banging my head against the wall wondering where Y got all these ridiculous ideas about me, including the accusations that I was "hacking" into the forum, lurking "invisibly", and deleting posts without authorization. (er... because you WERE? Protesting too much -- a predator give-away!)

When I first joined the forum many months ago, J immediately began writing me. I found his pseudo-intellectual ramblings about drug addiction to be strange and thought he even looked "dirty", but never really paid much else attention to him. I was never a drinker or drug user, and being in the company of some of "street" drug addicts was new to me, and I was a bit naïve.

A short time later, E (a prostitute and heroin addict at the time) contacted me and asked if she could confide in me. It was then that she told me about J and all the twisted things he made her do. I stayed in contact with E until she kicked her drug habit, got a "real" job, and reconciled with her husband. I would like to think the encouragement and support I gave her helped her to break out of her destructive lifestyle. (Aren't you SPECIAL, Dan!! No one sings your praises louder than YOU!) Ever since then, J (knowing I was on to him [because I am the smartest person in the world... LOL]) would post on my threads as if we were best friends. Both of my parents were in law enforcement and checked him out. He's a twice-convicted felon and has served time in Federal prison. (parents in law enforcement? checking someone out? that's not really legal to go through another person's records and passing it along with gossip unless its for court, etc. Also Jacoby warning that he has "friends in high places" should anyone call him on his exploits. If Jacoby's parents were in law enforcement -- he should ask them for a good rehab program for sociopaths & sex addicts.)

A is a good friend who is currently in a 9-month long inpatient detox program in the UK. All we ever talked about was her dog and her horse. A was friends with S, who M "met" in Los Angeles on his way home from New Zealand. I won't even get into the rumors I heard about THAT woman! (how many did you start? or did she rebuff your advances?)

G still swears to this very day that she never accused me of being a "predator" (but if she did she was right on the money!), but she became very cold and withdrawn right about the time M started putting the new forum together. We became very good friends because she lives in the neighborhood where I grew up. G WORSHIPS Y, and if Y repeated anything M may have told her about me, G would take it as Gospel. G herself can be a very manipulative person and seems to thrive on her illness, though I wouldn't wish her suffering on anyone. She sent me an email regarding my commentary on my PERSONAL medical journal and referred to me as showing a pattern of "verbal abuse" (again, she was right! and notice the lack of empathy on Jacoby's part for anything but HIS 'reputation'). The irony of her choosing those words to describe my reaction to this whole situation is beyond amusing! Maybe she should move in with M for three months, LOL!

VICTIM and I have remained strong throughout all of this. We are both counting the minutes until we can be together. All of this drama has been very hard on both of us, but we're still deeply in love with each other. She's one in a million and I hate that she has had to go through all of this with me. As if benzo withdrawal wasn't tough enough! I know she would love to hear from you. We also know who's gay, and even THAT has effected our relationship (a story for another day), LOL!

I really appreciate you sharing this with me. It does provide some sense of closure and a chance to heal, even though it may only be the tip of the iceberg. When I calm down and get over this I would love to drop M a quick, friendly email if you still have his address. Oh wait - why would I need that from YOU if I could simply "hack" into the forum and get it? :-) (smug)

I hope you're feeling great and are being good to yourself. You have so much to be proud of. I'll be praying for you,

Dan

WARNING (2009) - Jacoby (a web designer & computer expert!) has found his way BACK on to the recovery forums using a new IP number and false identities (ex: "Nurse Tanya" and "Elwood"). Despite the forum managers saying they have banned him forever - they have not been able to stop this remorseless predator! One forum manager refuses to listen and remove his multiple identities. Beware!

MARCH 2008 PREDATOR OF THE MONTH: DANIEL JACOBY

Jacby's very very similar to many of our other cyberpaths. Follows the same lines and preys on wounded persons. He's a flaming narcissist and feels all powerful behind a keyboard. He scams those he preys on out of goods, costing them thousands of dollars. He is truly after only a couple things: FREE CYBERSEX and FUN & MIND-GAMES.

- Does he tell any of his victims he's playing? NO!
- Do his victims know his true intentions? NO!

And he likes to threaten and intimidate them when they find out who & what he truly is.

He bores easily and will move on to new prey either after or have a few on the go simultaneously.

He will even lie to law enforcement to get his VICTIMS charged with harrassment or defamation. But those lies don't hold water - and eventually he is show as the "boy who cried wolf."

He's nothing special, he's a soul-sucking liar, a keyboard jockey who's never gone past the high school game of telling a woman he doesn't even know he LOVES her - and then uses her for his sexual gratification. His M.O. is as common as grass. So enjoy this month's adventures with "DB." His victim gives an overview:
Jacoby hangs around support forums looking for vulnerable women coming off prescription drugs.

He scans blogs looking for an "in" then pounces with his "look how cool but 'sensitive' I am" routine and proceeds to suck trusting women into his filthy pit of lies and deceit. He lives with his wife, even though he spins a yarn about "waiting for his divorce to be finalized."

He lies about his alleged poverty and takes what he can from good hearted women when all the time he's driving around in his fancy Dodge Viper.

He's a dirty, narcissistic bottom-dweller, who, when his victims wake up to the the snake that he is, turns on and denigrates them in a most disgusting manner. He lives on the energy of women and drama under the pretence of love and devotion. He fits the profile of the narcissistic cyberpath perfectly.

Sometimes I wonder if he even took a prescription medication. His taper-off seems to have lasted for years. I suspect he stumbled across these kind of sites after playing this game on different forums where other vulnerable women would be. I see him on other boards now acting like an angel and taking everyone in, and it makes my stomach turn. I know for a fact he's smearing me like he did about other women to me. I should have listened to his other victims when they tried to warn me.

As I said he is allegedly in the throes of withdrawal from medication himself. I don't know to this day if or how much of this is true. I do know there've been plenty of ALLEGED hospital visits. I wouldn't put anything past him.

I was warned by other women back in the day that he was a sexual predator, but refused to listen. I was "in love" after he'd used seduction techniques he's honed over time on me. He always used to tell me that the other women were just jealous and were "crazy, nut-jobs or slutty tramps" (Sound familiar, readers? Probably saying the same about her now too.)

Of course I believed him, because I was in the height of withdrawal, I felt he was a lifeline for me as well as being fooled that he was honest. Additionally he was always "my poor baby who nobody understood but me"; effectively targeting my caretaker instincts.

He was booted from the forum where I met him and transferred his attention to other similar forums looking for prey. (Typical. The Cyberpath doesn't change his behavior or M.O. - just his hunting grounds or his IP or his nickname)

There's one poor woman in particular who hangs on his every word and I swear she'd take a bullet for him. If only she knew the opinion of her he shared with me! (again, sound familiar Readers?)

This filth scans the members list and singles out women that catch his predatory eye then watches until you're posting that you're really having a hard time and voila! He will play on the memory of a loved one who has passed away to get you to think of him the way you thought of them. He'll then try to replace them in your heart and mind and "be there" for you. He'll open you up and lead you along but the truth is you're not the only one. (See LURES OF THE ONLINE PREDATOR)

The pills you're withdrawing from blind you and he doesn't break contact for long enough to give you a chance to think or to come up for air. (Love Bombing) That is until you outwear your usefullness, like I did. That's when he gets nasty and turns it all back onto you.

He's warned me that he'll smear my good character should I expose him for what he is, but let him try. (Narcissistic Rage)

It was shared with me a while back that he persuaded & coaxed a very vulnerable female who was an ex heroin addict to perform lurid sex acts on the webcam. He denied it and blamed someone else. (of course! cyberpath's take ZERO responsibility. Some even get a counselor, clergyman, etc to GO ALONG with the "she's just as guilty" b.s. they throw at their victims) He blamed another man and accused him of other misdeed (in reality, probably done by Jacoby!).

He's a filthy, stinking beast. I can't let him do this to any other women and I feel like I should exonerate those I didn't believe when they tried to warn me. I also "googled" a lot of information on him and found him registered on "sexforums" among others. He freaked that I had the audacityto do that. (An innocent person wouldn't CARE!!)
He asked me over and over to perform lurid sex acts on a webcam and when I refused he'd freak and say that if I loved him I would do it to "make him happy". I put all this down to his illness & withdrawal symptoms, but realize now that he really is the manipulative predator I was told that he was.

He just thinks he's superior to everyone else, and others (especially women) are beneath him. Some of the things he's said about females he acts friendly with now have been despicable. Heck, he even talks trash about some other men he's friendly with, too. He acts very friendly & familiar with them, but he calls them awful names. They'd get the shock of their lives if they knew what he really thinks of them.

Women should beware and stay away from this low-life. He's an emotional leech that'll suck you dry and think nothing of it.

In reflection, I wonder what I ever saw in him. I usually like a guy with more hair. He never would remove that cap from the many pics and webcam stuff I saw.

I have prayed long and hard before I decided to do this. It's not a "knee-jerk" reaction and I am not a &"woman scorned"; as he told me he will portray me as if I ever came forward with all this. (Don't worry - they ALL do that - it gets tired after a while. Readers if someone online is telling you "so & so is a scorned/ jealous woman"? Make it your BUSINESS to talk to that scorned/ jealous woman. Its a MAJOR RED FLAG that you're dealing with a cyberpath!)

This is the difference between right and wrong; and doing the "right thing" has always, ALWAYS been extrememly important to me. I honestly believe that evil only prospers for so long and good will always win out. I may have done some wrong in believing him, but I am here to dust myself off and stand up for myself and others Jacoby may have harmed.

This man raped my soul and deserves to be shown for exactly what he is. A sick, twisted monster. I just thank God I've been blessed with a conscience & empathy. If this piece of filth was even half a real man he'd get down on his knees and ask God and me for forgiveness.

At the very least he'd pay me back my money. I won't hold my breath, though. He has the morals of a flea on a rat. If I can save even ONE WOMAN from going through the HELL that I'M GOING THOUGH, it'll be worth it all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(one big warning sign here... notice how Jacoby talks about his WIFE - Lisa. If they dis their spouses -- do a background check!! And remember: YOU ARE NEXT ON THE "DIS LIST")

From: "Dan"
Tue, 20 Jun 2006 16:13:24 -0400
Subject: RE: *

It's nasty. As my stomach gets full and the heat gets more intense, the nerves in my mouth and throat go in to overdrive. Used to be sometimes things got better as the day went on. Now they just get more intense. I can start swallowing therapy any time I want, but it seems pointless if my neck and throat muscles are going to be in rebound spasms as I taper no matter what. I would rather do therapy once I know I have no medications in the way. We'll see how things go in the coming weeks. I want to eat and speak again so badly. I know you're too fragile for any more grief right now. Yeah. A repeat of last summer and then some. :-/

Lisa doesn't care. That's what I'm talking about when I say she's mean. She knows I would have loved to have seen 1 or 2 pictures. They had a cake with a picture of N as a baby and on her 18th birthday. Never saw it. Not even a photo. Its just not right.

I'm so exhausted from this heat. Praying it lets up and doesn't get worse through August.

Did you see J wrote a book about benzos? He mentions my game site (ToadGames.com)
in it a few times. I chuckled when I saw it was dedicated to people like G, G, and ME, LOL. I bet they just fumed when they saw that! (his favorite word? ME!!)

He really can write. It's a shame he has such a twisted motive behind everything. Lots of odd people in this benzo world. Can't wait to leave it all behind.

I love you. Danny xxxxxx

BARF!

JACOBY'S WEB DESIGN SITE

JACOBY'S GAMES SITE

As always, our comments were in dark blue. More as the month wears on about Dan Jacoby and his Cyberpathic Emotional, Sexual & Financial Vampirism.

WARNING (2009) - Jacoby (a web designer & computer expert!) has found his way BACK on to the recovery forumsusing a new IP number and false identities (ex: "Nurse Tanya" and "Elwood"). Despite the forum managers saying they have banned him forever - they have not been able to stop this remorseless predator! One forum manager refuses to listen and remove his multiple identities. Beware!

Credit Card Trails Follow Online Predators!!

Where the Credit Card Trail Leads
By KURT EICHENWALD -- THE NEW YORK TIMES

For almost six years, a little-known Internet company called Neova.net has been quietly processing credit card information for online businesses - among them, Justin Berry and other minors who operate for-pay Webcam sites.

Tracking down the company is challenging. Its Web site is just black-and-blue text on a white background, with little hint of the scope of its business. Its contact information shows it in London, but corporate records list its main offices in Boston, at an address for a private mailbox provider. And its server, the powerful computer that handles transactions and stores the business data electronically, is in California, Internet records show.

Just days after his decision to abandon his pornography business, Justin Berry accessed his operating account at Neova, downloaded the data of his for-pay Webcam site - including the names and credit card information of people who subscribed to his site - and provided it to The New York Times. Until then, Justin had never before known what kind of people paid to see an underage boy film himself in sexual situations.

"I really didn't want to know who they were," he said.

The names numbered more than 1,750; about 200, however, were customers who had signed up multiple times. The Times reduced the listing to a sampling of 300 people in eight cities and attempted to identify the adults who were paying to view child pornography.

In the analysis, The Times cross-referenced the names and locations of subscribers with publicly available records. Often, a name was traced to a company or organization through the subscriber's e-mail address. Subscribers whose identities were not clear, based on public information, were not counted in the sample.

Because of the possibility that some people whose information was on the list may have been victims of identity theft, and to guard the privacy of individuals, The Times is not publishing the names of adults whose credit card payments for Justin's sites were processed by Neova. The company and its principal, however, are targets of a federal investigation into online child pornography, according to court records and government officials; its customer records have been independently obtained by the government.

The detailed personal information accompanying the accounts indicates that virtually all of the customers subscribed using their real names. And the level of chargebacks - reversed payments that occur when customers dispute charges to their credit cards - was relatively low for the accounts, indicating that these subscriptions had in fact been ordered by the cardholders.

The analysis found that few of the subscribers fit the stereotype of online predators as people on the fringes of society. Instead, they included successful members of communities across the country, people whose education and language skills could help them win the trust of underage teenagers.

Of the 300 subscribers to Justin's site whose identities were checked, a large percentage were in professions that placed them in the proximity of children on almost a daily basis. There were pediatricians and elementary school teachers, as well as lawyers who represent children in court. But there were also subscribers whose careers seemed unrelated to children, including a public official in the West and the president of a privately held construction company who used his corporate credit card to sign up for the site.

Experts in the field of child sexual exploitation said such findings - particularly the prominence of adults having careers that placed them near children - were consistent with anecdotal evidence from law enforcement.

"These people go into these professions, like teacher and pediatrician, to get themselves close to kids," said Patrick A. Trueman, the former head of the Child Exploitation and Obscenity Section of the Justice Department, who is now senior research counsel for the Family Research Council, a Christian conservative organization that promotes policies on marriage and family. "Their desires drive their careers."

Neova.net is not the only online company whose computer records contain the names and identifying information of people paying for child pornography; other large payment processors have had such sites as their customers. In some instances, the processors are legitimate corporations that unwittingly play a role in its dissemination.

A pornographic Web site (now defunct) called bigfunhouse, for example, was dependent on a global Internet payment processing company for handling its credit card billings.

For years, bigfunhouse - which portrayed itself as the most popular site of its kind in America and Europe - offered to members a free link to a second site featuring Webcam videos of boys who were lured into one or two online sexual performances, according to Internet records and customers interviewed by The Times.

E-mail traffic reviewed by The Times showed that, in June, the company that processed credit card charges for bigfunhouse - Verotel, which is based in Amsterdam - received a message purportedly from a teenager whose image was on the site; the message stated that bigfunhouse was carrying child pornography. Verotel - one of the largest credit card processors for Web sites offering digital content, which says it is strongly committed to combating child pornography - replied that it had investigated the claim and had become convinced that it was not true, the e-mail messages showed.

In November, The Times asked Verotel about illegal images, and the company responded that there were none on the bigfunhouse site. The Times provided Verotel with specific information about illegal images, including the identities of people who had been arrested for possessing the material. Verotel severed its relationship with bigfunhouse. Within hours, the pornography site shut down.

The bigfunhouse Web site then changed its message to "Game over. We closed."

Be warned Cyberpaths! Already had TWO of our cyberpaths' credit card trails followed by law enforcement, which led to the closing of a $2Million a year brothel. Another showed this cyberpath on multiple dating sites, scamming women for sex while emptying their bank accounts. Police are now online on TER and similar sites as well as doing forensic searches for cached files - which you can NOT delete - and which remain online in archival files forever.

Be careful what you put online and you DENY doing online. The truth is out there. Encoded & encrypted forever!