Online Players, Internet Predators, Cyberpaths, Dating Site Frauds... whatever you call them - they need to be EXPOSED! Did they take your money? your heart? your soul? your trust? Tell your story... Share ideas for dealing with them... Share plans to change the internet laws to protect the innocent...
Think we’re only talking about serial killers here?
Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category. They are doctors, attorneys, ministers, students, and truck drivers. They are realtors, construction workers and professors. They are your boss, your neighbor, your family member, and your lover or husband. You might even be with one now and not know it!
Learn about the ‘crazy-making’ behavior that all psychopaths do in the relationships.
Identify how a psychopath ‘lures’ into a relationship.
See how he uses the 'Honeymoon Phase' before it all turns dangerous and disastrous.
Women need to understand — can psychopaths hypnotize their women? The answer is YES!
Learn about the role of intense attachments, fear, and sex in relationships with psychopaths
Understand why women actually come to believe they are losing their minds in relationships with psychopaths -- what does he ‘do’ to her that makes her believe that?
Is there really something behind how the psychopath draws her in? What is that ‘vortex-like’ experience? Understand the dynamics about the hypnotic stare he uses that melts and freezes at the same time. ORDER TODAY!
Closing out 2007 wouldn't be complete without giving mention to Lori Drew.
Though EOPC concentrates on adult-on-adult online predation; Lori Drew wins our PATHOLOGICAL OF THE YEAR (a new category just for her!) Yes, Lori - you are one of the sickest cyberpaths of all the ones we've seen. And we thought we'd seen it all!
Lori apparently, won't be charged. The law in Missouri has dug in its heels and refuses to say another word about this case.
Good going Lori!!
You pushed a minor to suicide with your online predation on MySpace.
You evev involved your teenage daughter & an employee of yours. What a role model!
Like all cyberpaths now you're upset that you have been exposed and your life is supposedly ruined. Boo hoo.
You told this dead girl's grieving parents to "give it a rest."
You got the law to give you a free pass.
And the media has even let you get away with changing your story AND helped you call people like us a "cybermob" and "internet vigilantes."
All Things you can be very very proud of Mrs. Drew. EOPC hasn't and won't forget!... We never forget!
And our last honorable mention goes to Lissa Daly. Lissa, a cyberpath whose tangled tales and multiple identities messed up more lives than lights on a Christmas Tree, attempted an apology.
EOPC does give Lissa credit. For at least trying to stay in touch with and dialogue with her victims - allowing them to vent and discuss. But she loses ground with us when she seems to only see HER pain and not ask about or investigate the pain of others caused by her.
For a little more insight into this type of pathological predator - CLICK HERE.
(as 2007 draws to a close our next few posts will be about some highlights from this year and our 'close encounters' with cyberpaths. Mr. Thomas, below, has not been caught as other victims seem to be believing & protecting him. If you know his whereabouts - contact us as law enforcement is looking for him)
POSSIBLE BIGAMIST/ CON MAN ON THE RUN!! A CALL FOR INFORMATION!
Nathan Ernest Burl Thomas Jr. Male, African-American Age : 53 Occupation : Retired Military (he may tell you he's CIA or Special Ops) and now does sales for a company called Ecoquest Where he might be : Germany or Illinois or Texas USA or British Columbia or Quebec Canada Business Website (WITH HIS PICTURE!) CLICK HERE Work # : ( 210 ) 380 - 1684
Some of his online nicknames: Grizzlybear90604 Suntzu7734 Bear DZSO T_bear1952
Some of his possible email addresses: He has been cleaning his online activities and has already closed some email addresses he used to communicate to one of his “wives” and other targets: Jandt4ever1960@aol.com grizzlybear90604@aol.com grizzlybear90604@yahoo.com suntzu7734@aol.com t_bear1952@hotmail.com
Nathan Thomas, former Chief of Housing at the 6th ASG in Germany, is one of the biggest psychos and a criminal WHO MAY HAVE COMMITTED BIGAMY
Nathan Ernest Burl Thomas Jr, aka Nathan E B Thomas Jr., date of birth 03-DEC-1952, born in Arkansas, uses the online dating sites, pen pal sites, etc. to find vulnerable women!
His MODUS OPERANDI is always the same: He tells his targets he is a widower from a Puerto Rican woman called Felicia, who passed away of cancer some years ago - (we sell fake Kleenex for all those who have cried hearing this fake story) – and he will fake a strong sadness for this imaginary woman.
After some time, probably after meeting the target, he loves bomb his “woman target” and starts a torrid relationship. He flies to the “victim's” country or pays for his victims to fly to meet him as well. It’s a perfect romance copied from the best love story out there.
He acts like a gentleman, fakes ethics & religiousness, helps old ladies on the street, loves children, gives money to beggars!!!
You will NEVER see his "house" - he will always stay in a hotel with you.
As if that weren’t enough, Nathan Thomas also implies he is a CIA operative, and Special Ops. He will say he is a paratrooper who trains "his men" for missions to Afghanistan, Iraq, etc. This is completely false. The CIA has never heard of him.
Spends a lot of money, used to drive a BMW 850 while in Germany and always stays at Hotel suites.
He offers women expensive gifts, generally gives laptops (KEYLOGGED!!! so he can track your every move!).
This LIAR, CHEATER and SEX ADDICT, GOT MARRIED to a woman in Canada, WHILE BEING STILL MARRIED to Mrs. Georgine Thomas with whom he supposedly lives, in Texas.
There’s also a STRONG CHANCE THERE’S ANOTHER WIFE, called Marion, living in Germany, with whom he has two kids – Alina and Nathan.
He has other adult children, one of them Cindy who may be living in Texas and at least two grandsons in Germany.
This man's imagination is better than a Tom Clancy political thriller - but also PURE FICTION. He calls himself THE BLACK RIDER in his stories and he fantasizes about being a hero by cutting & pasting news stories about Al Queda to unsuspecting targets. He justifies his long absences by saying he's on "CIA special operations", or he is "deployed in Iraq." To some targets, he also says he is in Afhganistan.
The truth is that he goes from one wife/family or girlfriend to another. Georgine thinks he goes away on business for his company when he goes to stay with another wife. When he goes back to Georgine, the other wife thinks he is back in Iraq, and so on… or on a "secret mission"...
He takes explicit photos and makes porn videos with his targets, as well as asking some of his wives/ girlfriends to take sexual pictures & videos - saying they are personal, just for him (LOL) - that are probably sold by him to porn websites.
There are reasons to believe his brothers may be his accomplices, and also someone in Germany – he communicates with at least one woman named Isabel in Europe. What their relationship is, is anyone's guess.
He appears to be a SERIAL CON MAN WITH WIVES, GIRLFRIENDS AND POSSIBLE CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES IN MANY COUNTRIES.
It’s also likely he has already been deported from some country in Europe while he was active military.
He has a company “Thomas Special Services, LLC” at: 591417 Encino Park San Antonio, TX 78259, which appears to be a cover of possible his criminal activity. He also does business with Ecoquest International.
Nathan Thomas IS NOT A CIA operative. He is just a retired military and was the Chief of Housing in the 6th ASG during 2002/2004 and also dealt with private rentals in Southern Gemany. He current given address is San Antonio, TEXAS! (see above)
If anyone has any information about this man, PLEASE COME FORWARD and help stop his predatory and criminal activities.
Thomas is aware that people are on to him and has been frantically cleaning his online activities, erasing things and has already closed some email addresses he used to communicate with his “wives” and other targets. These may not work: Jandt4ever1960@aol.com grizzlybear90604@aol.com grizzlybear90604@yahoo.com suntzu7734@aol.com
He uses several nicknames like The Black Rider, Grizzlybear, Suntzu, DSZO, Bear, "T" or T_Bear (they may have slight variations as well)
IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION WRITE TO US and it will be passed along to law enforcement.
Jealous kebab shop owner jailed for life for murdering wife
A jealous a kebab shop manager, who stabbed his young wife 10 times after he caught her having a "cyber relationship" with another man, was jailed for life.
Kemal Dogan, 36, was ordered to serve a minimum of 12 years after being found guilty of murder by an Old Bailey jury.
The relationship with wife Aygul was already frayed because the 23-year-old had been taunting him over his infertility in front of friends and family.
Dogan caught her baring her flesh on a webcam to her internet lover in Turkey. She was chatting to the man she referred to as "my love" at an internet cafe in Stoke Newington, north London, in December 2005.
She begged her husband for forgiveness and he took her home where the couple entertained visitors. 20 minutes after the friends left, Aygul was dead.
Judge Peter Beaumont told Dogan he accepted there had been a "degree of provocation" although not amounting to a defence in law.
He also accepted a submission by William Clegg QC, that Dogan, an ethnic Kurd, had been suffering from a "mental disorder" after his experiences in his home country of Turkey. The court heard he had suffered torture.
Mr Clegg also told the court that Dogan had shown remorse and twice tried to take his own life while in custody.
The judge told Dogan: "This was not a pre-meditated killing. It does have all the hallmarks of a sudden loss of control. That said, you took the life of your wife in circumstances of very considerable violence."
Mr Clegg told jurors Dogan had been provoked after being "belittled" over his infertility and "deeply wounded" by the internet affair.
But prosecutor Brian O'Neill said: "This is a clear case of murder by a jealous and angry husband as a result of his wife's perceived infidelity."
The court heard that the couple married in their native Turkey in 1997 but had no children, apparently as a result of Dogan's infertility.
Mr O'Neill said that in the weeks leading up to the killing this had become a "strain" on their relationship.
He added: "In addition to that - and perhaps more significantly - there is evidence that the deceased woman was involved in a cyber relationship over the internet with another man in Turkey.
"The defendant became aware of this on the night that he killed his wife and that factor seems to have been the direct cause of the fatal stabbing."
(EOPC commends this author for stating WHY some people get involved in online affairs. So all you CYBERPATHS who come to this blog via proxies, etc [yes we see you!!! and we have ways to uncloak your hacking!] who say that your victims either 'knew what they were doing' or 'went in with their eyes open' or 'knew it was all a game' - we all know you're full of it! Excuses for your predatory behavior.
Until a cyberpath admits and owns their predatory behavior towards their victims, we will continue to hold them fully accountable! - FIGHTER)
by David Kramer
So you think your spouse or partner is having an online affair? The first question item to rule out is whether the source of these concerns is due to jealousy or some external factor you are just unable to reconcile. Keep in mind, an unhealthy and controlling jealousy or emotionally abusive relationship is often enough to drive a person toward looking for an escape. Regardless of the root, the following will explain how you can know for sure if an affair is in progress.
Your relationship is important and there is the expectation of trust and fidelity. Just as one needs to be trustworthy, you will need to be trusting. At the same time, you have the right to know if your spouse is being untrustworthy. This is a delicate balance no one can determine for you, you must weigh how far you are willing to go to require your spouse to prove he or she is trustworthy and at what point you are going to give that trust freely.
For some, this means trusting until the other proves to be untrustworthy. Others refuse to trust until all doubts are removed. Wherever you stand between these extremes, know that the following advice could push you in an irreversible direction. Sometimes it may not be worth it to know things, for example your spouse or partner may not be cheating but you may find a different flaw you had rather not known about. Someone once said, "A great deal of what we see, depends on what we are looking for" so there is also the caution against making conclusions that result in every shred of evidence you find points in the direction you want it to though in reality is bias.
If you are willing to proceed, then simply start by asking your spouse or partner straight out. Assuming you know them, you should be able to judge by the reaction if there is reason for concern. If you do not know your spouse or the person has a great poker face, you have at least put that person on alert. The interesting thing about someone being on to you is that panic sets in and when people panic mistakes are made. Listen to your spouse over the next several weeks at this point. My father always taught me, "If you are going to lie, you better have a perfect memory." By listening, you give the cheating spouse or partner time to stumble and in doing so you obtain clues to help you dig deeper. (all our cyberpaths tripped up here. Just check how Gridney/ Yidwithlid messed up for one example)
One problem to overcome is determining all the sources your spouse or partner has to gain online access. This could be work, a public library, an Internet cafe, and now even mobile devices. Detection was a lot easier when affairs happened on the home computer.
If you suspect your home computer is the issue there are a couple solutions. There are many keyboard sniffer (example: PC Pandora) programs available. Just open your favorite browser and search on keyboard sniffer. Versions are available for all types of computers and operating systems, Mac or PC, and many you can buy online, download and install immediately. These programs hide themselves on your computer and record every key pressed to a hidden file or remote computer. In the end, you have a complete log of what the person did and the evidence will speak for itself.
Using a keyboard sniffer can be effective, but just as there are tools to spy or pry in this manner, there are also equivalent tools to detect if this is happening. Most cheaters think they wont get caught and are likely to become sloppy at some point and lazy, especially if the affair has been going on for a while and no one has been caught yet.
The alt-tab flip maneuver is a clue. Sneak up on your spouse or partner one day to the point where you can see the monitor. Whether you saw what was on the screen or not, someone doing what they are not supposed to do will quickly try to cover up their sin. One way is to have multiple windows open that can be tabbed through quickly to cover up the window with the evidence. Quick, jerky, or jumpy motions to alter the screen contents are a give away that something is happening that the person does not want others to know about.
Smoke and mirrors. If the person is cheating on you, likely smoke and mirrors are being used to cover it up. Fight fire with fire. Install a real mirror or reflective surface that allows you to view what is on that monitor from other points in the room. It could be the glass window at nighttime, a shiny lamp fixture, or an actual mirror. Re-arrange the entire room to hide your intentions, but if you can position the monitor in a way where you can see what is on it without the spouse realizing it, they are less likely to use the alt-tab maneuver and you may end up seeing first hand what is going on.
Check for breadcrumbs. Look at the browser history to see where your spouse or partner has been going. Also look at the cookies that are stored on the machine. Cookies are small files that some websites use to enhance your browsing experience on their site. For example, when you click a check box that says, "Remember me", the website will create a cookie on your computer so the next time you visit, the website knows it is you. Determine what browser or browser your spouse is using (Internet Explorer, Safari, Firefox, and so on) and search for "how to view cookies" followed by your browser name.
The absence of cookies or history tells a story too. If your spouse is spending a lot of time on the web but there is no history or cookies, one must ask why. Unless the spouse is a privacy freak, most people do not regularly delete their cookies or history.
Disrupt their world. If the person is having an online affair, then that Internet connection is the lifeline to their ability to communicate. How does your spouse respond when that connection is lost? Not sure, then make it go away. There are a lot of ways you can do this. Unplug the DSL or Cable modem, if you are using a router block the ports that are typically used for mail or by chat rooms, forget to pay the bill and have service completely stop.
If there is an affair this will cause a reaction. It may even push the person to use alternate methods of keeping in contact with the third wheel, and given it is a panic situation your spouse is more likely to slip up in doing so. The problem remains with devices outside the home.
Most employers frown on using corporate assets for recreational use, or affairs. It costs them money when their machines are hauled into court for interrogation, not to mention it is embarrassing. Fortunately, most large companies have installed software to prevent browsing and chatting with services typically used by the cyberlove world. A little social engineering, you can contact your Spouse's or partner's Company and act like a student conducting an interview for a research paper and ask them if they use such software and how they prevent employees from using work resources for things like cheating.
If there are no controls, ultimately it should surface in the form of performance so, it is just a matter of time. Meanwhile, you can isolate other online sources like phones, cyber cafes, and even library use by careful accounting. This takes time and more investigative work, but remember there is always a paper trail.
If you are using the Internet you should also be using a router. If you are not, you have all the reasons in the world to get one, security, ability to share the connection with more than one computer, and the ability to log ingoing and outgoing traffic (or to stop types of traffic to create a panic situation). Monitor the traffic.
Watch the phone bills, the data transfer and text messaging, and the credit cards. If the spouse has started using other devices or services, they'll show up in the billing. If you do not typically see these things, offer to be a better spouse or wanting to learn how to managing the household accounting and finances better to gain access. You will either obtain the ability to track through the flow of money, or be denied access to the information. If you are denied access, the question is why? As a spouse you need access to the finances in order to protect yourself in the event something happens to your spouse physically.
Financial software, like Quicken or Microsoft Money is great tools to help you account for every penny coming in and going out. If you cannot account for where it is going, then you at least have data to establish patterns. How much cash is being used? How frequently, and on what days is it being withdrawn? There are still always ways to hide money coming in so you might not fully seal up this hole, but at least you have narrowed the window of opportunity and made it more difficult for your spouse to cheat which may create the stress needed to cause the slip up that results in the surfacing of the truth.
Libraries often require some form of identification to use the public computers. On the days you suspect your spouse may be going to the library for a rendezvous, make sure that identification stays home one way or another (typically by removing it from a purse or wallet). It may generate questions as how or why the I.D. ended up misplaced, but the pressure is on.
A cheating spouse will often feel distant from their committed spouse. They will feel guilt and anxiety, and have to work hard at covering things up. You cannot always say that a cheating spouse will show no or less attention; for example a cheating spouse may end up suddenly sending more flowers or gifts. Relationships take effort and people often show their affection with gift giving. So if you suddenly receive flowers, check up on them. How much did they cost? Maybe your flowers are intended to hide a purchase at a florist where two sets of flowers were bought, yet you only have one. Did your last gift really cost what it says it cost in on the credit card statement or check book? More sex?
No one wants to be cheated on, and most people if you ask will say they do not want to be a cheater. Cheating happens for one reason, hardness of heart. Normal people do not go into a relationship with plans to cheat. They are in love and intend to remain faithfully committed to their spouse.
The question to ask is what causes that devoted spouse to harden those feelings and emotions and ultimately give way to cheating either by seeking out someone or because someone sought him/her and met a missing need.
The best thing is to work together to guard against hardened hearts and emotional or mental abuse so the signs never have chance to be erected.
Is that person you were talking to online playing hide & seek with you? Are you getting the feeling they are not giving you accurate information about where they live and or who they are?
Death by 1000 Papercuts posted a neat little tool that anyone can use to pop in someone's IP number and find out approximately where they are:
While Dr. Haber writes about bullyproofing your children, we really hope our adult victims and readers can take away some information on how to keep themselves bullyproofed from cyberpaths & predators. Especially the threats after you catch them or figure them out. - Fighter Whereas years ago, kids would write their anonymous gossip on bathroom walls, now they’ve found a way to send their nastiness to a much wider audience.
The newest and potentially most dangerous form of bulling, “cyberbullying,” is growing so fast, it is proving difficult for researchers and therapists to keep up.
A new study just reported that cyberbullying among teens and preteens has increased by 50% in the last 5 years.
--Dr. Joel Haber, "The Bully Coach" on Cyber Bullies * * * DBKP Talks to Dr. Joel Haber about how to protect your kids from Bullies, Cyber Bullies and His New Book, "BullyProof Your Child For Life".
The DBKP Interview Room
Today we talk to nationally-known "Bully Coach", Dr. Joel Haber, about his new book, "Bullyproof Your Child for Life". Our guests today include TherapyDoc from "Everyone Needs Therapy" and Fighter from "Cyberpaths", along with Little Baby Ginn and Mondoreb from Death by 1000 Papercuts.
Mondoreb: Hi Dr. Haber! Welcome to The DBKP Interview Room.
Dr. Joel Haber: Hello everybody. Thanks for giving me this opportunity.
Mondoreb: Okay, Joel, let's get to it. If you had one thing to tell a parent about protecting their kids from bullies, what would it be?
Joel Haber: Bully Prevention can be summed up with one factor that remains pretty constant: The way a child responds to bullying events will determine whether those events repeat or escalate.
A child who can laugh it off, walk away, and feel good about him- or herself anyway is not likely to become a long-term target.
On the other hand, the likelihood of further attacks increases the more emotional the child becomes in reaction to the bullying.
Mondoreb: So Mom's advice to "just ignore them them" wasn't bad?
Dr. Haber: A child who gets angry, cries, pouts, whines, or runs to a teacher is probably going to be harassed time and again.
TherapyDoc: Have you ever heard of the story, " The Boy with the Funny Laugh"?
Dr. Joel Haber: It’s a really good story to get us to think about our behavior and reflect on what our role is in the bullying dynamic. I like it a lot.
Little Baby Ginn: Is passive aggressive bullying harder to deal with than overt bullying?
Joel Haber: Absolutely, because passive aggressive bullying is “indirect” which makes it more difficult to see, hear, or handle. Indirect bullying involves things like gossiping behind people’s backs, eye rolls, or exclusion which may not be easy to see.
Mondoreb: Earlier, before the interview, you outlined a few helpful tips for parents to keep their kids safe on-line from cyber bullies. Would you mind repeating a few of those.again, please?
Joel Haber: First of all, parents need to learn some of the shorthand that their kids are using. POS [parent over shoulder] (a good beginning so parents can speak the lingo).
1-Remind kids that the Internet is not face to face, and you never know who you are speaking to, so watch what you say (once you press the send key, you can’t take it back). 2-Tell kids to treat others like you would your favorite grandmother and watch what they say if it may hurt others. Being mean, or threatening to others online may be a crime, so you need to be very careful, and parents need to teach their kids how to be responsible online. 3-Encourage your kids to let you know if they ever get threatened online, so the parent can report the abuse to a governing agency.
Fighter: Our site deals with adult on adult predation (and of course bullying once the prey gets a little too suspicious or exposes them...) Is there anything from your book, any advice, that would be helpful to someone who's being bullied because they became suspicious of someone's on-line behavior?
Joel Haber: Try to document all the evidence you have, and see if you can get support for your ideas. Documentation keeps the behavior very objective and avoids a shouting match!
See if you can get others to join you- when you’re with others who support you, there is less likelihood to be bullied and it helps you keep perspective even if the bullying gets emotional. TherapyDoc: Has it ever back-fired, telling a patient (or child) to be assertive with a bully; meaning, did your advice ever get a person beat up?
Joel Haber: Being assertive can put you in danger, so I don’t always suggest that. I suggest that we know our kids, and teach them skills to make them less targetable. Sometimes that involves assertion, and sometimes it involves showing less emotion.
Ginn: Any tips on how do you handle a passive-aggressive bully?
Joel Haber: When you see passive-aggressive behavior, call them out on it, and ask if you did anything to make them mad? If not, ask them why they are behaving that way.
Mondoreb: How long have you been working on the book? Did it take you awhile to do it?
Joel Haber: I have worked for years on this book. I feel proud of it and think this will be the last resource parents will need to help their children to manage bullying issues.
FIGHTER: What model of home/ upbringing would a bully come from? Narcissistic or sociopathic parent? Other?
Joel Haber: Bullies actually come from families with what we call an authoritarian style- one parent who always wins, gets his/her way, and the other parent who also loses conflicts. In these homes, kids observe that bullying and aggression win!
Or, the kids get scared off from the bullying and they side with the losing parent: creating kids who are afraid of conflict and become targets. So- a sociopathic parent can create a bullying kid, but the power imbalance at home creates the problems for kids either as bullies or victims.
Mondoreb: Is there anybody that is hopeless? I mean, do you think your book or the techniques described in it--and which you've had years of experience with--would help everyone? Or are there a few people out there who are not bully proof?
Joel Haber: Nobody is really hopeless - because all kids can learn something to help them become Bullyproof. Some special needs kids, though, may have problems learning lots of strategies, but one good one may be enough. If a kid can’t learn, then the adults or peers around them need to learn how to step up and help out the kid who is lacking in skills.
Mondoreb: Okay, that's about all the time we have. Thanks to TherapyDoc and Fighter for joining Little Baby Ginn and myself to talk to "The Bully Coach", Dr. Joel Haber, about how to keep kids safe. It's all in his new book, "BullyProof Your Child For Life".
The law refuses to press charges against Lori Drew. Still.
EOPC knows our adult victims receive the same lack of responsiveness from law enforcement about this. Victims who read the article below will see a lot of how their predator/ cyberpath got to them.
Lori is quite happy about this, according to her lawyer.
Megan Meier is still quite dead because of her.
Need we say more? - Fighter
"Of course she's happy! She just got away with MURDER!" - anonymous
When the Bullies Turned Faceless By CHRISTOPHER MAAG
LIKE most mobs, the one that pursued Megan Meier was cruel and unrelenting. Its members gathered on the social networking site MySpace and called Megan a liar, a fat whore and worse.
Megan, 13, fought back, insulting her tormenters with every profanity she knew. But the mob shouted her down, overwhelming her computer and her shaky self-confidence with a barrage of hateful instant messages.
“Mom, they’re being horrible!” Megan said, sobbing into the phone when her mother called. After an hour, Megan ran into her bedroom and hanged herself with a belt.
“She felt there was no way out,” Ms. Meier said.
Megan Meier’s suicide made headlines because she was the victim of a hoax. Lori Drew, another mother in the neighborhood, said in a police report that she had created a MySpace profile of a boy, an invention named “Josh Evans,” and that she and her daughter had manipulated Megan into thinking that this fabricated person liked her.
Then, after a few weeks, Ms. Meier said, girls posing as Josh wrote MySpace messages telling Megan that he hated her. He insulted her, and other girls — most unaware that Josh did not exist — viciously piled on. (Later, through her lawyer, Ms. Drew, 48, denied knowing about the hoax.)
In some ways, the hoax was a tragic oddity. Most mothers don’t pull vicious pranks, and few harassed adolescents become depressed and commit suicide. But Megan’s story is also a case study about cyberbullying.
Cellphone cameras and text messages, as well as social networking Web sites, e-mail and instant messaging, all give teenagers a wider range of ways to play tricks on one another, to tease and to intimidate their peers.
And unlike traditional bullying, which usually is an intimate, if highly unpleasant, experience, high-tech bullying can happen anywhere, anytime, among lots of different children who may never actually meet in person. It is inescapable and often anonymous, said sociologists and educators who have studied cyberbullying. (can happen to ADULTS who have another adult predator prey on their vulnerabilities too!)
Even in this town, where Megan’s name is a constant reminder of the danger of the Web, adolescents say they love using the technology — and some do a little bullying of their own.
“I’m sure that every girl at this table has used cellphones or instant messaging to say something mean about somebody,” said Victoria Fogarty, as she discussed bullying with six other adolescents. Victoria, 14, is the daughter of Pam Fogarty, the mayor of Dardenne Prairie, and an eighth grader at West Middle School, which Megan attended.
Other children are afraid of becoming the next victim.
“Once you’re on MySpace, you’re trapped,” said Jake Dobson, 12, a seventh grader at West Middle School. “You spend all your time online just trying to keep the negative stuff about you from spreading.”
Megan Meier spent months begging for a MySpace page before her mother finally gave in. Ms. Meier thought that making friends online could be good for her daughter, a sensitive girl who craved an emotional connection.
But that neediness made Megan vulnerable. By the third grade Megan hated herself and talked of suicide, Ms. Meier said. The diagnosis was depression and attention deficit disorder, which meant Megan would receive weekly counseling and an evolving list of medications as treatment.
By the time she reached seventh grade at West Middle School, Megan was overweight but active, Ms. Meier said. She hung out with other volleyball players, who were in the second tier of popular girls, just beneath the soccer players, said Laura Rodgers, 14, Megan’s friend.
She aped the styles of those above her, Ms. Meier said. She favored clothes like Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch. Sometimes she applied so much mascara that she resembled a raccoon. Occasionally she would gleefully accept a soccer girl’s invitation to sit at the popular table during lunch, Laura said.
These moments of success faded during gym class, when Megan had to trade her plus-size designer clothes for athletic shorts and T-shirts. “People in P.E. class called her fat every day,” Laura said. “I’d see her in the locker room crying.”
After a difficult year, Megan’s parents transferred their daughter to Immaculate Conception Catholic School in Dardenne Prairie. The school had strict policies aimed at avoiding cliques. Students wear uniforms, and they are assigned lunch tables so they can socialize with everybody.
“There aren’t really cliques there at all,” said Rachel Garzon, 14, who befriended Megan. “You might be closer friends with some people, but you can walk up and talk to anybody and they’ll be nice to you.”
Megan, who had escaped the old cliques, retained her old MySpace page. “She technically wasn’t old enough, because you have to be 14,” Ms. Meier said. “But I was the only one who knew the password. I read every message she received or sent. I thought I could keep it safe, and Megan could meet some friends.”
MySpace uses algorithms and people to strike harassing or bullying images and content, the company said in a written statement, and the site offers users opportunities to report cyberbullies.
But controlling the Web can be almost impossible, experts on children say, and most adolescents are simply not mature enough to handle the virtual world and its anonymous attacks. For instance, “Adolescents take what is said online as the literal truth,” said Justin Patchin, assistant professor of criminal justice at the University of Wisconsin, Eau Claire, who studies cyberbullying.
And, as in the Megan Meier case, the victim of cyberbullying is often isolated, yet never free from attack. “The target sees this entire cyberuniverse where everybody is against them, and no one will come to their defense,” said Dr. Walter Roberts, professor of counselor education at Minnesota State University, Mankato. “The harassment is not limited to the portion of the day when the kids are in school. The targeted kids have no escape.”
Three years ago, before Megan’s suicide, the school system identified cyberbullying as a serious problem, said Kim Carter, assistant superintendent for student services in the Fort Zumwalt School District.
In 2005, the school surveyed students and teachers. And before and after Megan’s death, the district held a variety of assemblies, meetings and workshops to train students, parents, faculty and administrators how to recognize and react to cyberbullying.
While all the vigilance has helped, students say, cyberbullying remains common. Last month, a girl won $500 in a class raffle. Before her teacher even opened the door to excuse everyone, the rest of the school was abuzz with rumors that she had cheated, said Sarah Fogarty, another of the mayor’s children.
How was that possible? Cellphones are supposed to be turned off in school. Girls practice text messaging with their eyes closed, Sarah said. They’ve become adept at pressing buttons under their desks while keeping their focus on the teacher.
“I’m not good at it yet,” Sarah said.
This fall an unpopular boy started break dancing at a football game. People took cellphone photos and videos, which they immediately forwarded to hundreds of people. “They were egging him on because they wanted to keep making fun of him, and the photos made him look ridiculous,” said Jake Dobson, the seventh grader.
Even popular kids feel vulnerable.
Ryan Franklin, 12, was a star player on his Little League baseball team until he needed stomach surgery last summer, said his mother, Sonya Franklin. As he recovered, a friend sent e-mail messages to dozens of students falsely stating that Ryan had made sexual comments about a girl in class, Ms. Franklin said.
“The truth was that he’d stopped playing baseball and so he’d lost some of his status,” Ms. Franklin said. “Some people started picking on him because he was an easier target.” The e-mail messages stopped only when she threatened to call the boy’s mother.
Jake Dobson admits he’s not above an instant message making fun of someone, even if he knows that the same thing could happen to him.
“It’s like I can’t even do anything because everybody is sitting there with a cellphone just waiting for me to mess up,” he said.
In light of the Megan Meier MySpace Suicide Case - we felt it was a good time to rerun this one:
(excerpts) By: Whitney Galbraith
Is Rape really possible on the Internet or is it just a form of sexual harassment. We all enter into this virtual world scared and alone, knowing that your alone you should take same precautions that are taken when you are walking home alone at night, anything is possible.
When anything is possible on the Internet, being raped by definition of rape is impossible. According to Collins English Dictionary rape is: "The offense of forcing a person, esp. a woman, to submit to sexual intercourse against that persons will." Yet, on the other hand another definition of rape is: "Any violation or abuse: the rape of justice." The first definition of rape is impossible of taking place whereas the second one is a better explanation of what took place. The definition of Virtual Rape is exactly what happened, but the word rape is a very strong, powerful word to be using for the explanation of sexual harassment.
The use of the word rape is unacceptable because it gives the reader a false impression about what the story will be about. Until, I knew the definition of Virtual Rape I thought this woman was a nut to think that she had been raped. A different title should have been used from the beginning so that the reader starts with an open mind and not as I did. I read that a woman was raped on the Internet and immediately had a bad impression about the following story. This woman on the Internet did experience a violation except for the fact that she was involved in a virtual world.
When entering into a virtual world one has to be able to escape reality on some levels. Escaping reality means that you must not take things personally even when they are directed toward you. However, some things are very hard to ignore therefore we must be able to understand that these things being said to us are just words put into sentences, and these sentences can be disturbing coming from a stranger. What the words make up seem extremely real especially because this woman was personally and emotionally involved, this needs to be avoided so that people don't experience the feeling that this woman did. These threatening sentences should be easier to accept coming from a stranger, because we don't know is on the other end and we can question their mental state when they say abnormal things. Many people enter not these virtual worlds to be able to fulfill their fantasies. We must remember that there are no rules and therefore many people's imaginations go wild. As we have seen some of these things can be very revolting.
We also enter into this virtual world when we turn on the TV. We watch TV either with complete concentration or none at all, either way it doesn’t affect us. A virtual world computer experience is exactly the same in the sense that your concentration level doesn't matter.
In real life we do space out (disinhibition syndrome) but if you were driving down the road without some level of concentration you would most likely crash. When you are watching a movie most of the time you are very interested and often feel apart of the show. When you turn off the movie that feeling is gone.
When we have a movie actor that addresses you as his audience and he is virtually raping you, you are not likely to keep watching that movie. In actuality most people would shut off the show or watch it but wouldn't take it very serious, computers are the same, we shouldn't be taking virtual world experiences seriously. Yes, computers are a little more personal, but being able to distinguish between real life and virtual life is the task. One has to use their imagination and common sense to be able to do so.
Every person is different, but we all have feelings and we all experience things differently. Hearing this ladies story about being raped on the Internet is scary but very difficult to even try and understand how or why she stayed logged on and in contact with this guy when she never had to. She could have approached the situation very differently, but not being able to know how she felt we can not say she did the wrong thing. Everyone has the right to respond to things differently, but we should all be able to justify to ourselves why, it makes it easier for the individual to be able to understand.
The mental pain that this woman experienced was real, yet the events that made her feel this way took place in a virtual world. This proves that yes, there may be a virtual world, but not letting these things affect your real life is virtually impossible. Instead of trying to understand why these things happen we should try and prevent ourselves getting into these situations. When something happens to us the thoughts and memories are always there. This woman wasn't physically hurt, but she was extremely mentally hurt, and this possibly more damaging for her. The feeling that she experienced was that of sexual harassment. Sexual harassment by definition is: "The persistent unwelcome directing of sexual remarks, looks, etc." Collins English Dictionary This is what this woman experienced, not rape by definition.
By definition this woman experienced a form of sexual harassment that was said to have been rape. I agree that this may be a very threatening and disturbing experience, but if you don't like what is being said to you log off. I think that it is hard to determine how we should take this, for that matter how should we take anything. Any topic can be blown out of proportion with the right attitudes involved. This rape on the Internet was taken a little too far, but not quite far enough because it can still take place. Some how there needs to be rules, but until there are rules people need to understand that unbelievable things can happen.
In Our Humble Opinion, the author totally missed that many Online "Rape" Victims (aka Emotional or Mental Rape) are survivors or victims of other sorts of abuse and therefore vulnerable. Vulnerable people DON'T SEE RED FLAGS. They aren't stupid or naive. They don't have the ability to see the dangers. They often suffer from issues of abandonment and repetition compulsion
Friend of EOPC, Danny Vice - had such a great post yesterday - we are posting the text part of it here. Every one of our victims will be able to relate to Lori Drew's rewriting & outright denial of history.
Our comments throughout and at the end. In purple. - Fighter
There are times in a handful of cases when the needle on the B.S. meter stands straight up. When attorneys or officials in a case go so far in their rhetoric, you simply have to begin calling them out on their nonsense. The case of Megan Meier, the 13 year old teen who committed suicide after she was lured into a downward spiral, has reached such level.
We have a county prosecutor and a defense attorney who have gone on the record with statements that flat out rewrite history and previous statements. This flat out stinks of corruption that's increasingly becoming on par with the Duke Lacrosse Player's scandal. (Or Natalee Holloway. Or Laci Peterson. Or Drew Peterson. The list is endless)
"Everything, as far as Mrs. Drew knew, was that all the communication was nice and polite and there was no harassing going on. She did not create the MySpace account. She did not instruct anybody to create the MySpace account. She never made any communications through the MySpace account."
"She knew these girls were doing it and she didn't stop it. She wishes she did. If she could turn back the clock, that's the part she would do differently."
Well alright Lori - now that you've completely absolved yourself from the case in any way, shape or form, please explain how this squares with your previous statements. Why has your statement changed from when you were on the attack against the Meier family instead of defending yourself.
See, now everyone else is to blame besides you. The officer who took your statement is a liar. (Edwin Lutz) Your daughter is to blame. (Sarah Drew) Your employee is to blame. (Ashley Grills) The Meier family is to blame. Yes Lori, everyone is to blame besides you.
We have a long memory Ms. Drew. We aren't fools. We understand why your statements were different when you were attacking the Meier family. We understand why you now wish to play the victim.
But when it all comes down to it, we simply don't believe you. We'll take the officer's account of what you said above what your attorney says. He was not being paid to defend you and/or boost your public perception standings.
Jack Banas, we are calling for charges in this case one way or another.
Either the women did stalk this child, or she made knowingly false statements to the police prior to the surfacing of this report.
You cannot absolve this woman of complete wrong doing on both sides of the fence. Pick a side or step down and let someone take over who can. Too many admissions have been publicly made for you to continue to hide under your desk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The debate over the fate of Lori Drew and getting justice for Megan Meier rages on. Bloggers have taken up the cause, despite what media apologists like Fox and others does to us or other bloggers. Calling us a "cyber mob" or "vigilantes" in order to shame us to stop calling for appropriate law enforcement response instead of the "gee, we hope this goes away" rhetoric we have been getting isn't going to work.
Also sounds like the Drews' were attempting to do this:
People who are engaged in defending their internal grandiosity may become adept at giving ostensible apologies that self-justifications. Narcissistically driven people do not seem to understand that saying expression of empathy with the injured party irrespective of whether the hurt was intentional or avoidable.
A related substitute for apologizing is the practice of explaining. Unless the listener is particularly sensitive, an explanation can sound remarkably like an apology.
Compare Drew's words & behavior to our other predators or perps. Please. In the right hand margin we have a whole list. Some are just one post, some are spread thru a certain month so scroll from the bottom of the link you click on & read them all.Then make up your own mind
Many people are saying Mrs. Drew is a sociopath or at the least a destructive narcissist. (two incurable personality disorders along the same spectrum) We aren't doctors. But we can find some of the criteria out there for identifying someone with Destructive Narcissistic Pattern (from Joann Ashmun):
Narcissists lack a mature conscience and seem to be restrained only by fear of being punished or of damaging their reputations -- though, again, this can be obscure to casual observation if you don't know what they think their reputations are, and what they believe others think of them may be way out of touch with reality. Their moral intelligence is about at the level of a bright five- or six-year-old; the only rules they recognize are things that have been specifically required, permitted, prohibited, or disapproved of by authority figures they know personally. Anyhow, narcissists can't be counted on not to do something just because it's wrong, illegal, or will hurt someone, as long as they think that they can get away with it or that you can't stop them or punish them (i.e., they don't care what you think unless they're afraid of you).
Trying to reform narcissists by reasoning with them or by appealing to their better nature is about as effective as spitting in the ocean. What you see is what you get: they have no better nature. The fundamental problem here is that narcissists lack empathy.
-- Lacking empathy is a profound disturbance to the narcissist's thinking (cognition) and feeling (affectivity). Even when very intelligent, narcissists can't reason well. One I've worked with closely does something I characterize as "analysis by eggbeater." They don't understand the meaning of what people say and they don't grasp the meaning of the written word either -- because so much of the meaning of anything we say depends on context and affect, narcissists (lacking empathy and thus lacking both context and affect) hear only the words. (Discussions with narcissists can be really weird and disconcerting; they seem to think that using some of the same words means that they are following a line of conversation or reasoning. Thus, they will go off on tangents and irrelevancies, apparently in the blithe delusion that they understand what others are talking about.) And, frankly, they don't hear all the words, either. They can pay attention only to stuff that has them in it. This is not merely a bad habit -- it's a cognitive deficiency. Narcissists pay attention only to themselves and stuff that affects them personally. However, since they don't know what other people are doing, narcissists can't judge what will affect them personally and seem never to learn that when they cause trouble they will get trouble back. They won't take other people's feelings into consideration and so they overlook the fact that other people will react with feeling when abused or exploited and that most people get really pissed off by being lied to or lied about.
They see themselves as perfect or superior or infallible, next to god-like (if not actually divine, then sitting on the right hand of God) -- or else they are worthless. There's no middle ground of ordinary normal humanity for narcissists. They can't tolerate the least disagreement. In fact, if you say, "Please don't do that again -- it hurts," narcissists will turn around and do it again harder to prove that they were right the first time; their reasoning seems to be something like "I am a good person and can do no wrong; therefore, I didn't hurt you and you are lying about it now..." -- sorry, folks, I get lost after that. Anyhow, narcissists are habitually cruel in little ways, as well as big ones, because they're paying attention to their fantasy and not to you, but the bruises on you are REAL, not in your imagination. Thus, no matter how gently you suggest that they might do better to change their ways or get some help, they will react in one of two equally horrible ways: they will attack or they will withdraw. Be wary of wandering into this dragon's cave -- narcissists will say ANYTHING, they will trash anyone in their own self-justification, and then they will expect the immediate restoration of the status quo. They will attack you (sometimes physically) and spew a load of bile, insult, abuse, contempt, threats, etc., and then -- well, it's kind of like they had indigestion and the vicious tirade worked like a burp: "There. Now I feel better. Where were we?" They feel better, so they expect you to feel better, too. They will say you are nothing, worthless, and turn around immediately and say that they love you. When you object to this kind of treatment, they will say, "You just have to accept me the way I am. (God made me this way, so God loves me even if you are too stupid to understand how special I am.)" Accepting them as they are (and staying away from them entirely) is excellent advice.... They can't see that they have a problem; it's always somebody else who has the problem and needs to change. Therapies work at all only when the individual wants to change and, though narcissists hate their real selves, they don't want to change -- they want the world to change. And they criticize, gripe, and complain about almost everything and almost everyone almost all the time. There are usually a favored few whom narcissists regard as absolutely above reproach, even for egregious misconduct or actual crime, and about whom they won't brook the slightest criticism. These are people the narcissists are terrified of, though they'll tell you that what they feel is love and respect; apparently they don't know the difference between fear and love.
Narcissists feel entitled to whatever they can take. They expect privileges and indulgences, and they also feel entitled to exploit other people without any trace of reciprocation.
So perhaps the Drews do have a fulfilling life ahead them. Because Megan Meier doesn't.
Briscoe's latest statment from Lori Drew? Sounds like ALL of our cyberpaths!! damaging their reputation! You mean: their fabricated reputation which everyone sees through now. Didn't Mrs. Drew admit in her statement to police -- to helping her daughter create the Josh Evans MySpace account and that mean things were said? Now, all of suddent, her lawyer says she didn't? Are we missing something here? Danny, looks like you caught it too. Sounds like THIS (click here)
If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck...
EOPC continues to urge or readers to CLICK HERE (scroll to the bottom of this post for the pertinent address & email information) and please continue writing the legal authorities to reopen this case and DO THE RIGHT THING for Megan and her grieving family. If the media and is continuing to defend Mrs. Drew & the law continue ducking any responsibility, its the least we can do for the Meier family.
Write Jack Banas and ask the questions Danny asked in his post. Find out if he EVER talked to the Meier family, because it seems he only spoke to the Drews. His latest nonsense was:
"The actions of the Drews and Grills are not criminal under existing state law, Banas said, because their intent was never to harm, stalk, endanger or harass.
"They did it so they could find out what Megan was saying about Mrs. Drew’s daughter," Banas said. "That is undisputed.
"The only purpose was to find out what one little girl was saying about another little girl" .
You, the concern citizens, can write this prosecutor here:
Jack Banas, Prosecuting Attorney(who refuses to file charges or talk to the Meier famiy directly!) Courts Administration Building Room 601 300 North Second Street St. Charles, MO 63301
Here's an example taken from Sarah Wells' blog by a concerned and reasonable responder, if you have problems composing your own letter - it might read something like this. Its 1 piece of paper, 1 envelope and 1 stamp. Megan was worth at least that.
And the Meier family has continued to ask people to write their lawmakers and those in MO to pressure them to reopen this case and press charges. So here's just one example:
Dear Mr. Banas,
I am a concerned mother pleading that you be accountable and responsive to the citizens of St. Charles County in the case of Megan Meier. I believe you have been merely thinking inside the box in this clearly criminal case. The fact that the unnamed neighbor emerges from this tragedy with no charges against her is appalling.
She broke no laws, you say? How about:
Criminal harassment Distribution of harmful material to minors Child endangerment Violation of the Communications Decency Act of 1996 Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress
It doesn’t take much imagination to think of charges.
Are you worried about your stats? The citizenry will think more of you if you seek justice. To emotionally prey upon an innocent and fragile young girl is evil, and the perpetrator must be held accountable.
In the last hours before Megan hanged herself, Drew said: "Everybody in O'Fallon knows how you are. You are a bad person and everybody hates you. Have a shitty rest of your life. The world would be a better place without you". How can anyone read these words and deny they contributed greatly to Megan’s death?
We are watching. We are waiting. We are voting. We will not forget your handling of this case. You have the opportunity to acquit yourself in the court of public opinion. Do the right thing!
If you insist on ignoring criminal cases, may I suggest that of damages to a certain foosball table? Or the criminal charge concerning damages to a lawn? Both property damage charges made by the Drews against the Meiers! I’m sure your constituents wouldn’t mind if you dismissed those charges.
Thank you,
(btw - that doesn't sound like the member of a mob, does it?)
And you voters in MO? Vote Banas out during the next upcoming election. This could be your child or you we are fighting for next. - "Fighter"
During the flap over the Megan Meier case, we've met a few new and great bloggers who are out there - like us - speaking truth and trying to bring needed attention to victims of internet predation. As we all know telling is the first big step to healing.
Danny Vice, of The Weekly Vice, just wrote a wonderful post about a deceased young woman who, in death, like Megan Meier - was preyed on by attention seeking sensationalists. Someone(s) who could have cared less about her or the grief of her family and friends in doing what they did. We are reprinting it, with permission, below our commentary.
Internet predators are basically bullies and cowards. They are, as we have said, possibly narcissistic or (at their worst) sociopathic in their need for attention. It varies from cyberpath to cyberpath - do they want sex, do they want a high from illicit online "love", do they want attention, do they enjoy causing pain or heartache, do they just like playing with people's minds? The reasons for predation vary but they are all sick, twisted and wrong. The cyberpath believes they are powerful and anonymous behind a keyboard. And, as you will see in this story - and as Danny Vice so eloquently puts it:
Example after example, the story is the same. Internet predators who victimize the innocent with calculating, heinous acts of disregard, continue to go free. Their activities sometimes even condoned as "free speech".
What may be most troubling however is the ever present excuse making of our elected officials who continue to hide under a desk when the public calls upon them for justice in these cases.
In the case of harassing emails, why didn't officials track down the author behind these offensive attacks? The technology certainly exists. Why would tossing a cigarette butt out a vehicle window constitute a graver offense in the eyes of law enforcement, thus prompting immediate action while cases like these languish in silence?
The excuse lawmakers use to let themselves off the hook stem from the growth of the Internet and how fast it's changing. This is a sham. Chat rooms, message boards, instant messengers and email have been in existence for far over a decade now. While the software used to transmit messages changes slightly, the basic essence of using the Internet to send a message is largely the same. Is a decade or two long enough to establish some basic decency laws in regards to Internet usage? The Vice certainly believes it is.
One prime example is the bigamists we have reported here on EOPC. These people use the internet as one-click-shopping for new victims, often on 'single parent' or 'adult social networking' - yet they get nothing more than a slap on the wrist and the police most often make victims do ALL the legwork (often with no money or support) of trying to dig up paperwork that is almost impossible to get without law enforcement's help! That's a great way to avoid responsibility, again! Bigamy victims are usually broke, have PTSD and all sorts of problems to deal with while the law lays back and still calls bigamy a "rare crime." (CLICK HERE FOR MORE)
Lawmakers and law enforcement's responses are piss poor to internet predators; unless they're a pedophile. There are laws on the books such as INTENTIONAL INFLICTION OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS or the COMMUNICATIONS DECENCY ACT OF 1996 - yet they do nothing. Even when victims bring them proof after proof of what was done. They sit back and make the same lame excuses that the law did in Megan Meier's case. This has to stop. And only we, the public, can put pressure on the law to do the right thing and hold this sort of predator and harrasser accountable for their heinous & exploitive behavior. Usually the victims hear that either 'there is no crime here' or 'no law applies' or 'you were an adult you should have known better.' One of our victims was told the last response and when she got up to leave the police station the Sargeant said "oh, we forgot, you KNEW this guy for a long time!" Nice job validating people who are already completely ripped to shreds emotionally & mentally.
Some say what EOPC does is a crime. Probably the cyberpaths. We make sure our victims are NOT out for revenge and we make them jump through hoops for truthfulness & verifiability before we do an exposure. We are not lying to anyone, exploiting them, using them for money, sex or kicks, neither are we getting our jollies posting graphic and/or salacious materials on the net. No. Our goals?
To help the victim feel less alone, less 'stupid & naive' and give them support
To call the cyberpath into accountability for what they have done. This is not a faceless, nameless, victimless crime - there are people on the other side of the screen
To offer direction to counseling for the victim, and the cyberpath - if they ask for it
To alert webusers to the pervasive patterns all cyberpaths and cyberbullies follow
To alert webusers to the patterns of blame shifting, excuse, disappear, non-closure and non-apologies all cyberpaths and cyberbullies follow
To bring attention to these issue in hopes that the law will catch up and give our victims and other some measure of justice for their pain
So please read the story of Nikki Catsouras - a lovely young girl whose death allowed internet web-vultures to feed off of her and her family's pain:
Nicole "Nikki" Catsouras - Another Example Of The Internet Predator Problem by Danny Vice
Meet Nikki Catsouras, a beautiful 18 year old who's life was brutally cut short in a gruesome car crash Halloween night, 2006. Traveling at what the California Highway Patrol estimates to be about 100 miles per hour, an intoxicated Nikki slammed her father's Porche 911 into a concrete tollbooth.
The accident is really nothing unique unfortunately, but the events that followed provide an extremely sobering example of the evil that lurks within the Internet. It also exposes the tragic reality of how unreasonably ineffective our laws are for dealing with online predators, bullies and harassers.
The details:
Shortly after Nikki Catsouras accident, photographs of the accident were taken by the California Highway Patrol. This is normal policy and a widely followed practice of accident scene investigators who are seeking to preserve the accident scene. Unfortunately for the Catsouras family, this is the point where the their daughter's tragedy would be turned into an ongoing nightmare.
While some details of the case have yet to emerge completely. We do know that someone from the California Highway Patrol leaked these photos to the public. Within a matter of weeks, the accident scene photos succeeded in saturating the internet.
The photos in question were extremely graphic. The twisted wreckage of the accident are convincing enough, however the most upsetting images were those of Nikki, who's nearly decapitated head was smashed open. Parts of her head were scattered across the scene while Nikki was still seatbelted in the driver's seat of the car.
It's important to give a description of the photos, so you'll understand the Heinousness of what came next, however the Vice has chosen to NOT display these images in consideration of the Catsouras family, and it's pending lawsuit against the CHP.
While the leaking of these images opens many issues about how law enforcement handles it's investigative material, the real outrage is what the Catsourus family was forced to experience next.
Soon after the release of these photos, while the Catsouras family were still mourning their daughter's death, the family began to receive taunting messages along with the most graphic images from their daughter's accident scene. The photos quickly made their way to an estimated 1,600 websites across the Internet.
Just a few days after the accident, Nikki's teenage cousin opened her cell phone and was confronted with an image of of Nikki's mangled remains. This was no isolated event as many members of the Catsouras family began receiving emails, text messages and links to websites which repeated these graphic images over and over.
The statements that accompanied the images were often cruel, poking fun at the beautiful girl who was no longer beautiful. Even the deceased girl's MySpace page had contained anonymous postings of the accident scene, and a tribute site that was created for Nikki was eventually found to be little more than another front for displaying the grizzly photos.
Christos (Nikki's father) and Lesli Catsouras no longer go online or use email accounts. The Catsouras' three children also avoid using the Internet.
"It's evil!" says Nikki's mother Lesli Catsouras. "It's evil, and this was done maliciously as a joke. And it has devastated our lives completely. People should know that this can happen to them."
"There was threats that people were gonna put the pictures on my locker, in my locker," said Danielle (Nikki's sister). "I remember her in such a great way, I don't wanna see it and have that image stuck in my head."
Nikki's mother agrees. "I've stopped using my email," she says. "I don't want to see these every single day. ... And you know, I take a risk every time I go to the computer.
"We talk about Nikki all the time," says Nikki's father Christos. "We've got pictures of her everywhere. We laugh about her, cry. I always called her Angel."
Tyler Offenhauser, the family's attorney laments the utter lack of legal recourse in cases like these. "The Internet is growing in leaps and bounds. The law is not," he explains.
The Catsauras family's lawsuit against the CHP for allegedly releasing releasing the accident scene pictures to the public was recently confirmed by a judge who set the case for trial before a jury.
"They were crime scene pictures that never, ever should have gone out," says Christos. "There was a big mistake made by the California Highway Patrol that was never really acknowledged, or they never wanted to help us once the mistake had been made".
While the CHP has admitted in a letter to the Catsouras family that it's dispatchers violated department policy, it has said it is not responsible for the Catsouras' anguish. Vice Reaction:
Example after example, the story is the same. Internet predators who victimize the innocent with calculating, heinous acts of disregard, continue to go free. Their activities sometimes even condoned as "free speech".
What may be most troubling however is the ever present excuse making of our elected officials who continue to hide under a desk when the public calls upon them for justice in these cases.
In the case of harassing emails, why didn't officials track down the author behind these offensive attacks? The technology certainly exists. Why would tossing a cigarette butt out a vehicle window constitute a graver offense in the eyes of law enforcement, thus prompting immediate action while cases like these languish in silence?
The excuse lawmakers use to let themselves off the hook stem from the growth of the Internet and how fast it's changing. This is a sham. Chat rooms, message boards, instant messengers and email have been in existence for far over a decade now. While the software used to transmit messages changes slightly, the basic essence of using the Internet to send a message is largely the same. Is a decade or two long enough to establish some basic decency laws in regards to Internet usage? The Vice certainly believes it is.
In both the Nikki Catsouras case and the Megan Meier case, we're continually reminded of how inept our laws are to combat such egregious acts of lawlessness, however these same officials ignore the call to pass the laws they say would convict such acts. We'd like to know what the hold up is.
In very few instances have I ever seen such a great disconnect between lawmakers and the public it claims it serves. In very few instances have I seen such a clear, concise message being sent to lawmakers to act. It isn't every day that an entire nation becomes outraged at the lack of law, yet lawmakers fail to heed the call. In many Internet stalking/harassment cases, perpetrators refuse to take responsibility for their actions.In both cases here, we have a complete lack of real concern from officials towards victims of these cases. They simply continue to point out the lack of legal recourse as if it were a bragging right.
Why wouldn't voters be outraged at lawmakers who waste massive amounts of time running American troop activities into the ground, while our own children are exploited, harassed, stalked and even murdered - all the while excusing themselves from responsibility by casting it off as a freedom of speech. (and other adults Danny. Mostly vulnerable members of the population who are looking for support and get a cyberpath! Most of our victims did NOT meet their predator in online dating but something much more inocuous, where these cyberpaths lie in wait for the 'wounded' to come by - Fighter)
Laws that are eventually enacted are so weak, they often times rival the seriousness of a speeding ticket. It's really time the issue be fully explored as a priority at both the state and federal levels. Unfortunately we aren't optimistic that this will be the case - as lawmakers have already played the "freedom of speech" card in both cases here.
UPDATE: We have been trading emails about the hits we are getting on this story under "Nikki Catsouras Crash Photos." We thought Megan Meier was getting loads of hits but no - in just the few hours this has been on our site, the hits are astronomical. This just shows how voyeuristic people are to be LOOKING for graphic crash photos of someone's child. Unreal.
We are not distrubed by the fact that Nikki was driving fast but that sick people find it necessary to SEND these pictures to her family and friends over & over & over to do nothing more than harrass & torture them. Any comments suggesting this is O.K. to do to her family & friends will be deleted.
Also sounds like the Drews' were attempting to do this:
People who are engaged in defending their internal grandiosity may become adept at giving ostensible apologies that really amount to self-justifications. Narcissistically driven people do not seem to understand that saying one is sorry represents an expression of empathy with the injured party irrespective of whether the hurt was intentional or avoidable.
A related substitute for apologizing is the practice of explaining. Unless the listener is particularly sensitive, an explanation can sound remarkably like an apology. (original)
Many people are saying Mrs. Drew is a sociopath or at the least a destructive narcissist. (two incurable personality disorders along the same spectrum) We aren't doctors (like Dr. Ablow who implied EOPC & Fighter are "pathological" -- lol) But we can find some of the criteria out there for identifying someone with Destructive Narcissistic Pattern (from Joann Ashmun):
-- Narcissists lack a mature conscience and seem to be restrained only by fear of being punished or of damaging their reputations -- though, again, this can be obscure to casual observation if you don't know what they think their reputations are, and what they believe others think of them may be way out of touch with reality. Their moral intelligence is about at the level of a bright five- or six-year-old; the only rules they recognize are things that have been specifically required, permitted, prohibited, or disapproved of by authority figures they know personally. Anyhow, narcissists can't be counted on not to do something just because it's wrong, illegal, or will hurt someone, as long as they think that they can get away with it or that you can't stop them or punish them (i.e., they don't care what you think unless they're afraid of you).
-- If you're like me, you get into disputes with narcissists over their casual dishonesty and cruelty to other people. Trying to reform narcissists by reasoning with them or by appealing to their better nature is about as effective as spitting in the ocean. What you see is what you get: they have no better nature. The fundamental problem here is that narcissists lack empathy.
-- Lacking empathy is a profound disturbance to the narcissist's thinking (cognition) and feeling (affectivity). Even when very intelligent, narcissists can't reason well. One I've worked with closely does something I characterize as "analysis by eggbeater." They don't understand the meaning of what people say and they don't grasp the meaning of the written word either -- because so much of the meaning of anything we say depends on context and affect, narcissists (lacking empathy and thus lacking both context and affect) hear only the words. (Discussions with narcissists can be really weird and disconcerting; they seem to think that using some of the same words means that they are following a line of conversation or reasoning. Thus, they will go off on tangents and irrelevancies, apparently in the blithe delusion that they understand what others are talking about.) And, frankly, they don't hear all the words, either. They can pay attention only to stuff that has them in it. This is not merely a bad habit -- it's a cognitive deficiency. Narcissists pay attention only to themselves and stuff that affects them personally. However, since they don't know what other people are doing, narcissists can't judge what will affect them personally and seem never to learn that when they cause trouble they will get trouble back. They won't take other people's feelings into consideration and so they overlook the fact that other people will react with feeling when abused or exploited and that most people get really pissed off by being lied to or lied about.
-- Narcissists are (a) extremely sensitive to personal criticism and (b) extremely critical of other people. They think that they must be seen as perfect or superior or infallible, next to god-like (if not actually divine, then sitting on the right hand of God) -- or else they are worthless. There's no middle ground of ordinary normal humanity for narcissists. They can't tolerate the least disagreement. In fact, if you say, "Please don't do that again -- it hurts," narcissists will turn around and do it again harder to prove that they were right the first time; their reasoning seems to be something like "I am a good person and can do no wrong; therefore, I didn't hurt you and you are lying about it now..." -- sorry, folks, I get lost after that. Anyhow, narcissists are habitually cruel in little ways, as well as big ones, because they're paying attention to their fantasy and not to you, but the bruises on you are REAL, not in your imagination. Thus, no matter how gently you suggest that they might do better to change their ways or get some help, they will react in one of two equally horrible ways: they will attack or they will withdraw. Be wary of wandering into this dragon's cave -- narcissists will say ANYTHING, they will trash anyone in their own self-justification, and then they will expect the immediate restoration of the status quo. They will attack you (sometimes physically) and spew a load of bile, insult, abuse, contempt, threats, etc., and then -- well, it's kind of like they had indigestion and the vicious tirade worked like a burp: "There. Now I feel better. Where were we?" They feel better, so they expect you to feel better, too. They will say you are nothing, worthless, and turn around immediately and say that they love you. When you object to this kind of treatment, they will say, "You just have to accept me the way I am. (God made me this way, so God loves me even if you are too stupid to understand how special I am.)" Accepting them as they are (and staying away from them entirely) is excellent advice.... They can't see that they have a problem; it's always somebody else who has the problem and needs to change. Therapies work at all only when the individual wants to change and, though narcissists hate their real selves, they don't want to change -- they want the world to change. And they criticize, gripe, and complain about almost everything and almost everyone almost all the time. There are usually a favored few whom narcissists regard as absolutely above reproach, even for egregious misconduct or actual crime, and about whom they won't brook the slightest criticism. These are people the narcissists are terrified of, though they'll tell you that what they feel is love and respect; apparently they don't know the difference between fear and love.
Narcissists feel entitled to whatever they can take. They expect privileges and indulgences, and they also feel entitled to exploit other people without any trace of reciprocation.
Here's more:
If [the narcissist] trying to rattle you, hurt you, undermine you or shock you, there is a good chance that they will come out with a blatant accusation. "You lied", "you stole", "you're having an affair". (original - click here) ...
When the mentor has failed to support the grandiose self of a narcissistically impelled student, he or she can count on paying for it. A response to the effect of "I'll confess that I acted that out, but I think you have your part in this, too," is typical(original - click here)
Now here's some press from just two days ago on this:
On Friday, attorney Jim Briscoe issued the following statement from the Drew family regarding the events surrounding Megan Meier's death:
"This week, Prosecuting Attorney Jack Banas issued his report concerning the death of Megan Meier. His investigation included a review of all reports of law enforcement agencies involved with this case and interviews with several of the individuals involved.
"During this investigation, the Drew family has not commented to the media. Now that the investigation is concluded, we wish to issue this statement.
"First and foremost, the Drew family mourns the death of Megan every day. They previously expressed their sympathies to the Meier family, but the Meiers have made it clear that they do not wish to speak to the Drews, and they have honored the Meier’s request.
"Contrary to statements reported in various news media around the nation in recent weeks, Lori Drew did not create or direct anyone to create the Josh Evans MySpace account.
"Although she was aware of the account, Lori Drew never sent any messages to Megan or to anyone else using this MySpace account.
"The MySpace account was in place for approximately 29 days. It is undisputed that all messages sent were positive until the last 24 hours.
"Lori Drew was not aware of any mean, nasty or negative comments made by anyone against Megan until after Megan took her own life. In fact, the first negative message was sent by a teenager from another residence, and several other negative comments were made by other teenagers at different locations. The negative comments that were sent by the teenage girl at the Drew’s residence occurred when Lori was not home.
"Lori Drew has been a high-profile target of extreme criticism for things she did not do. This has caused considerable damage to the reputation of the Drew family, both in our community and across the nation.
"The avalanche of criticism forced Lori to discontinue the advertising business she has had in the St. Charles County area for the past nine years. Lori is saddened that businesses that advertised with her company have been harassed in ways that have impacted them both professionally and personally.
"The Drew family is also sorry that their family, friends and neighbors have had to endure the stresses associated with the harassment directed toward the Drews.
"There are many accusations that various members of the Drew family have created Web sites or are participating in Internet blogs regarding this matter. The Drews have not and will not participate in any Website or blog regarding this matter.
"Any Internet message that purports to be a member of the Drew family is being managed by an imposter and undoubtedly is being done for the purpose of further damaging the Drew’s reputation."
Vigilantism is one thing, the legal expression of the conscience of the community is another.
We couldn't have said it better, Sarah! PLEASE also take a moment to read Danny Vice's great post on another Predator victim: Nicki Catsourus - click here
EOPC reiterates that we and "Fighter" (the pseudonym used by all the people who run this site) has NEVER at any time encouraged anyone to harm to the Drew family or any other sort of vigilante justice.
We do ask, as Tina Meier (Megan's mother) has asked - to continue to write to legal authorities and ask for justice in the case. A case in which NOTHING was done for over a year!
2 Articles from the Meier Family Local Paper: POKIN AROUND: Who is 'Kristen'? And who, really, is 'Lori Drew'? The investigation begins.
The blog's creation Nov. 18 was a painful and sad moment in a story with enough pain and sorrow for a lifetime.
Megan Meier, a 13-year-old who lived in Dardenne Prairie, took her life in October 2006 not knowing that Josh Evans, the 16-year-old boy who was mean to her on MySpace, was not real. Instead, he was created as part of a hoax played out by neighbors down the street and an 18-year-old girl.
And now the St. Charles County Sheriff's Department, with its highly regarded computer forensics department, will try to find out who stooped so low.
"The matter is under investigation," Lt. Craig McGuire said. "Where that is going to lead us, we don't know."
Will it lead to Lori Drew? The real Lori Drew? The one in Dardenne Prairie?
Absolutely not, says James L. Briscoe, Drew's attorney.
"Someone claims to be her," Briscoe says. "It's not her. She has not done anything anywhere. So that makes it pretty simple."
Briscoe on Friday released a statement that, in part, said: "Any internet message that purports to be a member of the Drew family is being managed by an impostor and undoubtedly is being done for the purpose of further damaging the Drews' reputation."
Then who is it?
Some insider? Someone close to the story? Someone in the Waterford Crystal neighborhood?
Or will investigators discover this dismaying chapter was penned by someone a thousand miles away who'd read about the case and had no personal connection to it?
Will it be someone who, for whatever reason - maybe there wasn't anything good on TV that night - sat down at a keyboard to see how much anger, hate and sadness could be set in motion?
The debate in the blogosphere is whether this was really Lori Drew. Some argue it must be. There was so much detail, they say.
I read the posting and, for many reasons, I say it's not.
The "Lori Drew" post ends this way:
"The final word from authorities has come down that there will be no charges, so I don't have to remain silent. There's no point in hiding anymore. The internet has made it clear that mob revenge must prevail, even if there's no justice in it. So be it.
"Here I am internet. Come get me."
Can you imagine anyone in Lori Drew's position saying that?
I can't.
But if it's not Lori Drew, asks Randy Bierce, who in August created the blog "Death By 1000 Papercuts," why hasn't the real Lori Drew called Google and demanded that "Megan Had It Coming" be taken down?
"Lori Drew could have this blog shut down at the touch of the button," says Bierce, who blogs as Mondoreb and, at times, as Randy Richochet, in an office near Pittsburgh.
His blog has covered extensively the Megan Meier story, as well as the controversy surrounding "Megan Had It Coming."
Bierce says he and co-workers are split on whether the person posting as "Lori Drew" is really Lori Drew.
"The question is, 'Why would anybody in their right mind do that?'" he said. "But the reaction to the whole story is why would anybody do what she did in the first place?"
"Megan Had It Coming" falls within Blogger.com, which is owned by Google. A spokesman for Google on Friday responded to my questions via e-mail.
According to Google's Terms of Service, although negative and distasteful content is allowed, it is a violation to impersonate someone by using their real name. (Impersonating someone by using a nickname, handle or screen name is allowed.)
"When we are notified of the existence of content that may violate our Terms of Service, we act quickly to review it and determine whether it actually violates our policies," according to the Google spokesman. "If we determine that it does, we remove it immediately. We are currently reviewing an impersonation claim related to this blog."
The "I'm Lori Drew" poster also claimed to be the same person who started the blog. The creator, in that first post, wrote in the persona of a teenage girl who called herself Kristen, acknowledging that Kristen was not her real name.
Kristen claimed she and Megan were "sort of friends," and she called Megan a "drama queen" just as likely to have killed herself for not getting enough to eat at dinner.
Predictably, others responded with shock and anger and accused "Kristen" of being the real Lori Drew.
It makes me wonder: Who writes this stuff? For what purpose? Just to do evil?
Bierce explained that "trolls" are people who have no connection to a story but post comments simply to pour gasoline on a burning controversy.
Bierce said his analysis of postings from "Kristen" and "Lori Drew" indicates that Kristen, after making that first entry, did not post for several days. That behavior is unlike a typical "troll," he said.
On the other hand, "Lori Drew" posted and responded for several hours until, apparently, he or she quit following an avalanche of response. This would more closely fit the "troll" pattern.
Bierce said he expects law enforcement to eventually ascertain who really posted as "Kristen" and who really posted as "Lori Drew."
Ron and Tina Meier, who are divorcing in large part because of Megan's death, support the investigation by the sheriff's department.
Ron said the blog puts his daughter in an untrue, negative light.
"I am just glad that they are looking into this stuff and treating it more seriously," he said. "I don't know if it's Lori Drew who did it. I believe not."
Tina Meier sees irony in that someone posing as Lori Drew could possibly be charged under a new Dardenne Prairie law created in response to Megan's death and the MySpace hoax behind it.
Tina wants the sheriff's department to pursue not only this case, but also all local cases where there's a complaint of cyberspace harassment, bullying or impersonation.
The real Lori Drew has not complained to law enforcement.
Jack Banas, the St. Charles County prosecuting attorney, said he asked the sheriff's department to investigate the blog after being questioned by a TV reporter.
"I have not talked to Mrs. Drew about this at all," Banas said.
He would not comment on what the possible violation might be.
"I'm not going to speculate on what crime it might be or what it might not be because I don't know until it is investigated," Banas said.
POKIN AROUND: No charges to be filed over Meier suicide
No charges will be filed in connection with the October 2006 suicide of 13-year-old Megan Meier, of Dardenne Prairie, who was the victim of a MySpace hoax involving a boy who never existed.
Jack Banas, St. Charles County prosecuting attorney, said at a Monday press conference that he reviewed state laws regarding harassment, stalking and child endangerment and concluded that the intent of those who created the fake MySpace account did not meet the criminal threshold.
In fact, Banas said, Lori J. Drew, 48, the woman down the street who was involved in creating the fake account for "Josh Evans," was not home the day several mean messages were sent to Megan through the Josh account, including one that stated, "The world would be a better place without you."
Ron Meier, Megan's father, said he believes that is the final message Megan saw before she went upstairs to her room and hanged herself.
Banas said Lori Drew saw the ambulance at the Meiers' house when she arrived home and quickly learned from her daughter and a temporary employee about the messages that had been sent to Megan from Josh.
Banas' Monday announcement was not news to Megan's parents, Ron and Tina Meier. Banas had contacted Tina Meier on Friday.
"I am very disappointed, very let down," Ron Meier said Monday.
Banas said communication between Josh and Megan was benign until an Oct. 15, 2006, message that was sent from a different girl on the block who had been given the password to the Josh account.
The message said: "I don't know if I want to be friends with you anymore because I've heard that you are not very nice to your friends."
Banas said most of the messages sent from Josh over six weeks were written by Ashley Grills, then 18, of O'Fallon, a temporary employee of Lori Drew's business, Drew Advantage. Grills often worked from the Drews' home.
Banas said it was Grills who typed what is believed to be the final message and it was Grills who was at the computer in the Drews' home typing messages for hours as Josh before Megan killed herself. Banas said the Drews' daughter, then 13, was with Grills at the time.
Banas said he was unable to interview Grills, now 19, because she has been under psychiatric care and was hospitalized as a result of her involvement in Megan's death. He said he saw no need to interview her at a later date.
Banas said he knows Grills' role because she was interviewed in an FBI investigation into Megan's death. The U.S. Attorney's Office for Eastern Missouri also did not file charges.
Prior to the FBI interview, attorney Scott Rosenblum, who was working for Ron and Tina Meier, interviewed Grills in November 2006.
In that interview, Grills stated that when the final messages were sent to Megan, Lori Drew was in the kitchen and fully aware of what was going on.
However, Banas said Monday that Grills did not tell the truth in that interview but did when interviewed by the FBI, when she stated that Lori Drew was not home.
"The girls involved in this will never forget this," Banas said. "Nor should they."
Banas said that Curt Drew, Lori Drew's husband, had known about the fake MySpace account and told his wife and daughter it was a bad idea. Nevertheless, the account was not closed.
Grills and Lori Drew dispute whose idea it was to create the fake MySpace account, Banas said.
Grills says it was Lori Drew's idea, and Lori Drew says that her daughter and Grills came to her with the idea, Banas said.
The Meiers and news media have focused on a Nov. 25, 2006, St. Charles County Sheriff's Department report that states: "Drew stated in the months leading up (to) Meier's daughter's suicide she instigated and monitored a "my space" account which was created for the sole purpose of communicating with Meier's daughter."
In an interview before the story was first published Nov. 11 in the Journal, Lori Drew said the report was "totally wrong" but declined to explain what she thought was incorrect.
Banas said the report, in essence, is correct, but that in other interviews, including the one with him, Lori Drew has maintained that it was not her idea to create the account.
Lori Drew's daughter was an on-again, off-again friend of Megan's for several years. In the summer of 2006, the two girls had a falling out.
Banas said Grills found Megan's MySpace account. Megan would not accept either Grills or the Drews' daughter as a "friend" on her account.
But Megan readily accepted Josh Evans. The phony account included a photo of a handsome 16-year-old boy who said he was new to the area, from a broken home and found Megan attractive. Megan and Josh quickly struck up a friendship.
Banas said it was Grills who created the Josh Evans account.
Regarding Megan's MySpace account, Tina and Ron Meier had the password and closely monitored their daughter's use.
Tina Meier has said her daughter for many years battled depression and struggled to keep her weight down and was thrilled Josh was interested in her.
Megan had switched schools and was attending Immaculate Conception in Dardenne Prairie for eighth grade and was the happiest she had been in years, her parents say.
Banas said that Lori Drew said she knew Megan had attention deficit disorder but did not know Megan suffered from depression. Ron Meier disputes that.
"Lori Drew knew without a doubt that our daughter suffered from depression," he said Monday. "She knew the medications that she was on for depression. She knew that Megan was in counseling and went to therapy."
The actions of the Drews and Grill were not criminal, Banas said, because their intent was not to stalk, endanger or harass.
"They did it so they could find out what Megan was saying about Mrs. Drew's daughter," Banas said. "That is undisputed.
"The only purpose was to find out what one little girl was saying about another little girl," he said.
Banas said his review has brought to light loopholes in existing laws that need to be "cleaned up." For example, he said, the state charge of harassment makes no mention of the Internet.
Banas said - as Tina Meier also has said - in the hours before Megan took her life, she was upset and was firing off mean messages with foul language.
Tina Meier had left Megan alone on the MySpace account because she had to take her younger daughter to an orthodontist appointment. Megan had promised to sign off as soon as she had finished writing a message. She didn't and things got worse.
Banas said Lori Drew should have ended the charade.
"The adults should have said something to stop this and not become involved in a spat with a couple of 13-year-old girls," Banas said.
"I think parents need to step back and take a look at what can happen when you become too involved with your child as a friend and not as a parent," Banas said.
Banas said he was aware of the national outrage directed at the Drews, much of it originating in cyberspace. Lori and Curt Drew have had their address posted on the Internet, as well as their phone numbers. One site showed a satellite photo of their home.
In addition, the Drews' home has been vandalized.
"Because we can't prosecute somebody, it certainly does not justify violating the law," Banas said.
He described Lori Drew as "upset, cautious and guarded" when he interviewed her. Banas said that Lori Drew felt "terrible" about Megan's death.
Banas said the Drews' daughter, now 15, is attending a different school and is not currently living with her parents. He said Lori Drew was fearful of telling him where her daughter lives.
The Meiers did not attend Monday's press conference.
Ron Meier questioned Banas' review of the case.
"Did he ever talk to me? No," Ron Meier said. "Did he ever talk to Tina? No. Did he talk to the 18-year-old employee? No. The only ones he ever talked to were Curt and Lori Drew."
Banas said he did not talk to Ron Meier because of a pending criminal vandalism charge. Ron Meier is accused of tearing up the Drews' front lawn with his pickup truck in March.
Banas did talk to Tina Meier Friday. But Ron Meier said that conversation was for Banas to inform her of his decision.
Banas was asked Monday if he came away from this case with insights or conclusions regarding cyberspace.
Yes, he said, "You don't know who you are talking to."
PLEASE CONTINUE THE PRESSURE ON THE LAW MAKERS TO CHARGE LORI DREW!
Write and/or fax a letter to:
Jack Banas, Prosecuting Attorney (who refuses to file charges and talk to the Meier famiy directly!) Courts Administration Building Room 601 300 North Second Street St. Charles, MO 63301 ~~~~~~~~~~
Tom Neer, St Charles County Sheriff Department 101 Sheriff Dierker Court O' Fallon, MO 63366 Fax: (636) 949-3078 E-Mail: sheriff@sccmo.org
Mrs. Lori Drew, the ADULT woman who started it all, actually had the gall to file a complaint against the parents of the girl she tormented, for destroying a "foosball table" she asked them to hide for Christmas.
The Meier family, when they learned of Drew's harassment of their daughter months after her death, destroyed the foosball table and drove its remains onto the Drew lawn. The police filed a report about the property damage -- but not about Drew's harassment and goading of Meier?!
Tell the police to drop the property charges and file new ones against Mrs. Drew. ~~~~~~~~
Rep. Doug Funderburk MO House of Representatives 201 West Capitol Avenue Room 236B Jefferson City MO 65101
Congressman Todd Akin (St. Louis) District Offices 301 Sovereign Court, Ste. 201 St. Louis, MO 63011 314-590-0029 voice 314-590-0037 fax EMAIL CONGRESSMAN AKIN
If you're not from Missouri, also write your own senator and representative. Ask them to work on a federal law that would make online stalking, punishable by mandatory community service, mandatory counseling and/or jail time. HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES - CONTACT SENATORS - CONTACT ~~~~~~~~~~
Ed Weeks President and CEO The Saint Peters Chamber of Commerce 1236 Jungermann Road, Suite C. St. Peters, Missouri 63376 Fax 636-447-9575
Mrs. Lori Drew is a member of this above Chamber. Make sure the Chamber knows that using a business temp to harass someone, albeit a 13 year girl, using their office equipment, goes against all ethics. Ask that Lori Drew and her company's membership be suspended immediately. ~~~~~~~~~~
United States Attorney (Eastern Missouri) Catherine Hanaway Thomas Eagleton U.S. Courthouse 111 S. 10th Street, 20th Floor St. Louis, MO 63102 Fax: 314.539.2309
Carrie Costantin Assistant United States Attorney Project Safe Child Coordinator Cybercrime Task Force Fax: 314-539-2309
Ask the US Attorneys to take on this case and punish the Drew family for facilitating this girl's death.
Our thanks to those who are supporting us in our fight to bring Justice to the Death of Megan Meier, despite the media trying to villify us.
Our friend, Katie Fairchild, had this say CLICK HERE
and more on the hypocritical media cover up from fellow blogger, Danny Vice CLICK HERE
Rather than recognizing the activism of blogs like ours, Danny's, Katie's and many many others who are bringing pressure on lawmakers about this issue, the media is making attempts to portray us as a 'CYBER MOB OF RAVING LUNATICS.'
Sad that media has seen fit to make money off the death of an innocent 13-year old who was lured, preyed on and traumatized on the net. Attacking those of us who are advocating for her memory...
PLEASE CONTINUE THE PRESSURE ON THE LAW MAKERS TO CHARGE LORI DREW!
Write and/or fax a letter to:
Jack Banas, Prosecuting Attorney (keeps saying there's nothing he can do!) Courts Administration Building Room 601 300 North Second Street St. Charles, MO 63301 ~~~~~~~~~~
Tom Neer, St Charles County Sheriff Department 101 Sheriff Dierker Court O' Fallon, MO 63366 Fax: (636) 949-3078 E-Mail: sheriff@sccmo.org
Mrs. Lori Drew, the ADULT woman who started it all, actually had the gall to file a complaint against the parents of the girl she tormented, for destroying a "foosball table" she asked them to hide for Christmas.
The Meier family, when they learned of Drew's harassment of their daughter months after her death, destroyed the foosball table and drove its remains onto the Drew lawn. The police filed a report about the property damage -- but not about Drew's harassment and goading of Meier?!
Tell the police to drop the property charges and file new ones against Mrs. Drew. ~~~~~~~~
Rep. Doug Funderburk MO House of Representatives 201 West Capitol Avenue Room 236B Jefferson City MO 65101
Congressman Todd Akin (St. Louis) District Offices 301 Sovereign Court, Ste. 201 St. Louis, MO 63011 314-590-0029 voice 314-590-0037 fax EMAIL CONGRESSMAN AKIN
If you're not from Missouri, also write your own senator and representative. Ask them to work on a federal law that would make online stalking, punishable by mandatory community service, mandatory counseling and/or jail time. HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES - CONTACT SENATORS - CONTACT ~~~~~~~~~~
Ed Weeks President and CEO The Saint Peters Chamber of Commerce 1236 Jungermann Road, Suite C. St. Peters, Missouri 63376 Fax 636-447-9575
Mrs. Lori Drew is a member of this above Chamber. Make sure the Chamber knows that using a business temp to harass someone, albeit a 13 year girl, using their office equipment, goes against all ethics. Ask that Lori Drew and her company's membership be suspended immediately. ~~~~~~~~~~
United States Attorney (Eastern Missouri) Catherine Hanaway Thomas Eagleton U.S. Courthouse 111 S. 10th Street, 20th Floor St. Louis, MO 63102 Fax: 314.539.2309
Carrie Costantin Assistant United States Attorney Project Safe Child Coordinator Cybercrime Task Force Fax: 314-539-2309
Ask the US Attorneys to take on this case and punish the Drew family for facilitating this girl's death.
In regards to Fox TV's Mike & Juliet Show trying to portray Fighter & EOPC as raving lunatics or cyberbullies themselves (re: Megan Meier MySpace Suicide Case), we have gotten only ONE piece of hate mail and LOT of support mail. Here's one letter we'd like to share with all of you:
from:
The Dangerous Relationship Institute A Relational Harm Reduction & Public Psychopathy Education Project Sandra L. Brown, M.A. Director
Cyberpaths/ EOPC and all the other victim-based websites whose mission it is to educate and provide sanctuary and healing to those who have been victimized are the heart-beat of the victim's rights movement.
As the web grows to become a healing hospital, those of us who provide online services like Cyberpaths/EOPC know all too well, there are far more victims than website providers.
We need more victim-based services online that boldly proclaim the rights of victims, offer psychopathy education, and solace for those wounded in the soul.
We thank & support EOPC for their valuable contribution to victims worldwide in their valant efforts to educate and protect.
I am always saddened to hear when media and others take pot-shots at victim service providers like Fighter and EOPC. We owe them our gratitude and respect for the work they do and the lives they save.
It's easier to throw pot-shots than it is to provide what victim service web sites do, day in and day out. We need more courageous souls like the "Fighter" team that step forward and do the work -- not more sensationalistic media seekers!
Thank you EOPC!! -- from one victim service provider, to another.
Link to write FoxTV to express your opinion for them portraying a VICTIM'S SUPPORT GROUP (EOPC & Scam Victims United) as 'crazy'!! CLICK HERE
To Contact Dr. Ablow and tell him what you think of him portraying Fighter & EOPC in a bad light because they are fighting legally for victims rights CLICK HERE
FROM OUR SUPPORT GROUP OF VICTIMS OF CYBERPATHS/ PREDATORS:
A CALL FOR A STAND
There exists in our society a sickness. This sickness is growing. I say this because of the toleration and lack of justice being directed towards the issues that need to have more recognition. Americans lives by double standards in so many aspects, then turns around and condemns those who try to take a stand. It is obvious just viewing some of the stories aired on national television.
I have to wonder if the media really sees the issues and tragedies, but simply just go after a story for their ratings.
Look at what is happening in our society! It is time to get serious and set a standard by taking a stand against the hateful victimization that is going on around the world.
The Internet has become not only a life source for many, it has also become a window of opportunity for predators to have direct access into the lives of unsuspecting vulnerable individuals. The root of the sickness centers around sexual & ethical immorality. There now even exists child pornography, and prostitutes can be sold for sex online. These pedophiles or johns even have boards where they can go and brag about their disgusting exploits. Online & real life predators have boards to discuss and share seduction and brainwashing techniques.
Let's look at just one horrible fact: Children in Cambodia are being sold for sex at the age of 5 years old, maybe even younger. Can you think of anything worse than the reality they are forced to live in? This problem will become more wide spread and out of control if the issues are not recognized and addressed.
There are now some weblogs and websites that help educate and expose stories that people submit who are conned, used, even brainwashed for money, sexual gratification or just fun. The problem is that there is so much compromise and gray area in the law as to what is considered illegal and what is not. Dateline's TO CATCH A PREDATOR showed so much progress as far as using cyberspace for the good it can do when so many are using it for their own destructive games. Still, they were ridiculed by certain media groups and some websites because these groups felt the predators were being treated unfairly.
This is unbelievable to comprehend.
Recently a story aired about a young girl named Megan Meier who committed suicide because of a online seduction hoax orchestrated by an adult. Now, a year later, the story spreads throughout the internet because the people who caused this girl so much pain were not held accountable! The story came out on various online sites.
The very sites that have been created as a way to start standing up against the exploitation and get the word out are now being talked about negatively as if THEY are guilty of cyberbullying the predators who first cyberbullied. Another ridiculous and intolerant attitude.
We are seeing this happen more and more! The message really is that there isn't clear or tough enough standards being set about these issues.
Another compromised and too-tolerant attitude that sets a double standard that I see repeatedly is the content within the sitcoms and some of the talk shows. In a single hour setting you will hear stories about sexual exploitation (hook ups, getting laid, getting over on a girl, etc.) followed by a show that is exploiting the same themes within its content. This is contradiction and it is everywhere. No wonder children are becoming desensitized, they are becoming sexually active at younger ages without feeling remorse or accountability because of the excessive use by the entertainment industry and media groups.
Even video games are now another lure into sexual or interpersonally exploitive situations and the advertisers are targeting even elementary age children with exploitive characters!
It is hard to believe that there is more tolerance for this moral destruction than for those who speak against it.
It is hard to believe that some have more sympathy for Lori Drew and her family than those who are trying to get the law to finally do something for the Meier family after they have lived in agony over the exploitation and subsequent death of their daughter Megan.
Here's a list of the addresses to contact, in order to make sure that Mrs. Lori Drew is punished appropriately by authorities & the business community:
A brief letter to lawmakers, sheriff's department and other people -- even an email or fax -- will show that we will not stand for this harassment, goad them to change legislation to make this kind of online harassment illegal.
Megan Meier is not the first kid or adult to be hurt by online harassment, and she won't be the last. It is the best chance for Lori Drew to see jail time she so richly deserves -- and get her child some counseling.
Write and/or fax a letter to:
Jack Banas, Prosecuting Attorney Courts Administration Building Room 601 300 North Second Street St. Charles, MO 63301 ~~~~~~~~~~
Tom Neer, St Charles County Sheriff Department 101 Sheriff Dierker Court O' Fallon, MO 63366 Fax: (636) 949-3078 E-Mail: sheriff@sccmo.org
Mrs. Lori Drew, the ADULT woman who started it all, actually had the gall to file a complaint against the parents of the girl she tormented, for destroying a "foosball table" she asked them to hide for Christmas.
The Meier family, when they learned of Drew's harassment of their daughter months after her death, destroyed the foosball table and drove its remains onto the Drew lawn. The police filed a report about the property damage -- but not about Drew's harassment and goading of Meier?!
Tell the police to drop the property charges and file new ones against Mrs. Drew. ~~~~~~~~
Rep. Doug Funderburk MO House of Representatives 201 West Capitol Avenue Room 236B Jefferson City MO 65101
Congressman Todd Akin (St. Louis) District Offices 301 Sovereign Court, Ste. 201 St. Louis, MO 63011 314-590-0029 voice 314-590-0037 fax EMAIL CONGRESSMAN AKIN - CLICK HERE
If you're not from Missouri, also write your own senator and representative. Ask them to work on a federal law that would make online stalking and predation, punishable by mandatory community service, mandatory counseling and/or jail time. HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES - CONTACTS - CLICK HERE SENATORS - CONTACT - CLICK HERE ~~~~~~~~~~
Ed Weeks President and CEO The Saint Peters Chamber of Commerce 1236 Jungermann Road, Suite C. St. Peters, Missouri 63376 Fax 636-447-9575
Mrs. Lori Drew is a member of this above Chamber. Make sure the Chamber knows that using a business temp to harass someone, albeit a 13 year girl, using their office equipment, goes against all ethics. Ask that Lori Drew and her company's membership be suspended immediately. ~~~~~~~~~~
United States Attorney (Eastern Missouri) Catherine Hanaway Thomas Eagleton U.S. Courthouse 111 S. 10th Street, 20th Floor St. Louis, MO 63102 Fax: 314.539.2309
Carrie Costantin Assistant United States Attorney Project Safe Child Coordinator Cybercrime Task Force Fax: 314-539-2309
Ask the US Attorneys to take on this case and punish the Drew family for causing this girl's death. DON'T LET JUSTICE DELAYED BECOME JUSTICE DENIED!
How many times can these cretins project their evil back onto us before the rest of the world takes notice; how many more Megan Meier's does there have to be? (from our private support board) OPEN DISCUSSION BOARD FOR THE MEGAN MEIER CASE
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