THE BLOG OF A PEDOPHILE WHO PREYS ON THE MOMS FIRST!

Parents' Ire Grows at Pedophile's Blog
By JENNIFER STEINHAUER

The search for the self-described pedophile in the large-brimmed black hat commences nearly every day here, with findings posted on chat rooms frequented by mothers.
He was spotted at a fair in Santa Clarita. He recently emerged from the Social Security office on Olympic Boulevard. He tapped away on a computer at the library in Mar Vista. Warnings have gone out. Signs have been posted.

And yet unlike convicted sex offenders, who are required to stay away from places that cater to children, in this case the police can do next to nothing, because this man, Jack McClellan, who has had Web sites detailing how and where he likes to troll for children, appears to be doing nothing illegal.

But his mere presence in Los Angeles -- coupled with Mr. McClellan’s commitment to exhibitionistic blogging about his thoughts on little girls -- has set parents on edge. One group of mothers, whose members by and large have never met before, will soon band together in a coffee shop to hammer out plans to push lawmakers in Sacramento to legislate Mr. McClellan out of business.

"Just the idea that this person could get away with what he was doing and no one could press charges has made me angry," said Jane Thompson, a stay-at-home mother in East Los Angeles who recently read Mr. McClellan's comments about a festival in her neighborhood in which he seemed to be describing her child.

Ms. Thompson is part of a movement to make it illegal to post images of children of any type on Web sites with sexual content or themes. "It became what I call a minor obsession of mine for the next six weeks," she said, "to get to know his crowd and the things they talk about."

Two months ago, Mr. McClellan said, he was more or less run out of Washington State, where he lived off and on with his parents, after the news media there and various Web sites drew attention to his activities, making him worry about his safety and that of his family. He had been posting nonsexual pictures of children on a Web site intended to promote the acceptance of pedophiles, and to direct other pedophiles to events and places where children tended to gather.

So he moved to Los Angeles, where he was born, to try to live a Southern California version of his former life. The climate was one draw, said Mr. McClellan in an interview near this reporter's office last week. But also "there are so many world-class children's attractions here, Disneyland, festivals and whatnot."

Mr. McClellan has refrained from posting pictures of children on his Web site, which was shut down by its host several weeks ago but which he intends to start again, he said, with a Dutch host. On the site, he has described fairs, festivals and other spots that he hits at least three days a week, all to the fury of parents.

It is both his actions and inactions that vex law enforcement officials here, who, while suggesting that they keep an eye on Mr. McClellan when they can, say they have no legal recourse against him.

"If you look at things he has posted, he clearly is a pedophile," said Lt. Thomas Sirkel, who works in the Special Victim' Unit of the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department.

"Has he acted on it? I can't say," Lieutenant Sirkel said. "But I've been in this business for 20 years, and I have never seen one who has not."

Mr. McClellan, who is 45, refers to himself as a pedophile, but says he has never actually sexually touched a child, simply "embraced them in a nonsexual way, mostly in Latin American countries." He says he has never been convicted of a sex crime, and law enforcement officials in Los Angeles say they know of no convictions.

A check of available public records yielded no criminal history for Mr. McClellan, including under another name he said he used. Mr. McClellan, who said he was adopted, said he changed his name to that of his birth mother several years ago.

Lieutenant Sirkel would not say whether his department had Mr. McClellan under surveillance.

"Why should I tell him about our tactics?" Lieutenant Sirkel said. But he added: "I'd like to know where he is at, what he is doing and watch him awhile. I think he is possibly a dangerous man. In my opinion, he is a threat to children in this community, and people in the community are real concerned about him."

Two Web-based groups, Peachhead, which caters largely to mothers on the West Side of Los Angeles, and Booby Brigade, its counterpart across town, have been abuzz with chatter about "Jack" sightings, and some parents have taken to posting photos of him in parks, downloaded from the Web.

"This one really angered people," said Linda Perry, who runs Peachhead, referring to Mr. McClellan.

Mr. McClellan has been somewhat elusive. He lives largely in his car, he said, although he says he occasionally rents rooms. Asked how he makes a living, he would say only that he lives off of "public assistance, the kind where you're not allowed to work."

The parental reactions somewhat mirror those in the novel and film "Little Children," in which a community becomes enraged at the notion of a convicted sex offender living in their midst, and chase him down at every turn. Although Mr. McClellan is not similarly pursued, parents who recognize him at events often scream at him, he said, and he fears for his safety enough that he would not meet a reporter in a public place.

Law enforcement officials have clearly taken notice -- one mother posted on PeachheadFamilies.com about her husband, a location scout for films, being asked to leave a park where he was using his camera. Mothers from Pasadena to Marina del Rey will soon gather to discuss possible legislative options, Ms. Thompson said.

Theirs will most likely be a difficult road. While posting pictures of children in sexual situations is a felony, posting them fully clothed in everyday situations is not, even in the context of sexualizing them by proxy, so to speak, First Amendment scholars said. Further, while inciting others to commit crimes can be illegal, it is unclear whether giving people links to children's book fairs is criminal.

"It is an interesting case," said Eugene Volokh, a law professor and First Amendment expert at the University of California, Los Angeles.

Professor Volokh cited a federal statute that bars the posting of bomb-making information on the Web, and suggested that a similar statute banning information that helps people find children to molest could be enacted, perhaps. But simply providing information about where children gather was not likely to constitute such a crime, he said.

In terms of children's images, he said: "The general rule is pictures of people in public are free for people to publish. Now if it is without permission and the person is a child and he suggests the children are sexual targets, you can imagine a court saying this is a new First Amendment exception. But it would be an uphill battle."

So for now, then, many Angelenos will continue to track and record Mr. McClellan's every move. Ms. Perry of Peachhead noted that the city was full of convicted child molesters.

"At least we know who he is and what he looks like," she said.

Alain Delaquérière contributed reporting from New York.

MySpace LOADED with Sex Offenders (surprise?)

MySpace deletes 29,000 sex offender profiles
New figure is more than four times the number originally cited by company

MySpace.com has found and deleted more than 29,000 registered sex offenders with profiles on the popular social networking Web site — more than four times the number cited by the company two months ago, officials in two states Tuesday.

North Carolina’s Roy Cooper is one of several attorneys general who recently demanded the News Corp.-owned Web site provide data on how many registered sex offenders were using the popular social networking site, along with information about where they live.

After initially withholding the information, citing federal privacy laws, MySpace began sharing the information in May after the states filed formal legal requests.

At the time, MySpace said it had already used a database it helped create to remove about 7,000 profiles of sex offenders, out of a total of about 180 million profiles on the site.

Cooper’s office said Tuesday, however, that now the figure has risen past 29,000.

“I’m absolutely astonished and appalled because the number has grown so exponentially over so short of time with no explanation,” said Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal, who also had pressed the company earlier for sex offender data.

MySpace declined to comment on the figure, focusing instead on its efforts to clean up its profile rolls.

“We’re pleased that we’ve successfully identified and removed registered sex offenders from our site and hope that other social networking sites follow our lead,” MySpace chief security officer Hemanshu Nigam said in a prepared statement.

Cooper is pushing for a state law that would require children to receive parental permission before creating social networking profiles, and require the Web sites to verify the parents’ identity and age. For example, social networking sites would have to compare information provided by a parent with commercial databases. Sites could also force parents to submit credit cards or printed forms.

Cooper is working with law enforcement officials in other states in pressuring MySpace to use age and identity verification methods voluntarily. Based on media reports, Cooper’s office found more than 100 criminal incidents this year of adults using MySpace to prey or attempt to prey on children.

Most recently, a Virginia man pleaded guilty Monday to kidnapping and soliciting a 14-year old girl he met on MySpace.

“All we’re doing is giving parents the right to make a choice whether their children can go online,” Cooper told a state House committee considering the bill on parental involvement and verification. He said the measure would lead to “fewer children at risk, because there will be fewer children on those Web sites.”

Advocates for Internet companies and privacy issues testified against the proposed restrictions, saying the broad parental verification standards would be found unconstitutional because they prohibit free speech or impede interstate commerce. The experts who testified also said Cooper’s idea isn’t foolproof, because children could fabricate their parents’ information and purported consent.

The parental verification requirement “makes promises to consumers that cannot be kept. It is dangerous language,” said Emily Hackett, executive director of the Washington-based Internet Alliance, whose clients include Time Warner Inc.’s AOL, Yahoo Inc. and VeriSign Inc. “There is no way to eyeball a user.”

The bill has already passed the North Carolina Senate. Now it goes to a House subcommittee for more consideration.

State Sen. Walter Dalton, a Democrat who is a primary sponsor of the bill, acknowledged that it won’t stop all sexual predators from getting on social networking sites. But he said it addresses a problem that shouldn’t be ignored, Dalton said.

“There is obviously a compelling state interest to protect our children from sexual predators,” he said.

OR FROM SEX PREDATORS WHO PREY ON OTHER ADULTS!!!

ORIGINAL ARTICLE

SOURED INTERNET ROMANCE LEDS TO MURDER SUICIDE

For every single time we hear that stupid line that ALL Cyberpaths use "he/she is just scorned" - we see one of these stories. So who was scorned here, the murder victim? We think not.

By Jon Paepcke

(AL) New details have emerged about the murder-suicide that shocked a Hoover neighborhood over the weekend.

Hoover police found a 63-year-old man and 35-year-old woman shot to death in the front yard of a house on Alford Avenue early Sunday morning. Investigators said the man shot the woman, then killed himself. Now one of the victim's friends said the couple's relationship started out on an internet dating service called Sugardaddie.com.

The friend asked for her identity to be concealed, but recalled how excited her friend was about her new online acquaintance.

“He seemed like a nice person and she thought they could along well,” the victim’s friend said.

According to the victim’s friend, however, all that changed when the man moved to Alabama. He moved all the way from Florida to live with the woman at the Alford Avenue house.

The victim's friend claimed the couple's relationship quickly worsened. She said the man was always driving by where the victim worked and called her constantly, sometimes making threats.

“I could hear him screaming at her through the telephone,” she said.

Hoover police were even called out to the Alford Avenue house to stand by while the victim moved out, but her friend said she couldn't stay away.

“Everyone advised her to leave him, because they were scared for her and her safety, and she just didn't do it,” she said.

Sugardaddie.com offers online dating tips on its website, at one point saying “never be forced, tempted, or controlled into any situation where you're not comfortable. Life is for living. Enjoy it to its fullest, but be safe and smart while doing this.”

The victim’s friend hopes the murder will warn other internet mate seekers to be more careful.

“Just make sure you do research before you go and meet someone that you don't know,” she said. (or get married no matter how well you 'think' you know this person!!)

The names of the man and woman are still not being made public. Assistant Police Chief A.C. Roper said they've been unable to find the man's next of kin in Florida and until they do, they're withholding the identify of both.

Sunday's incident was Hoover’s second murder suicide in two weeks. Police found another couple shot to death on Colesbury Circle on July 8.

ORIGINAL POST

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF THEY ARE LYING?

Did you know that Online Dating is the top moneymaker on the Web? Chances are good that you have joined a site or two yourself. If so, you've probably asked the top three questions my CyberRomance clients all do:

"Why don't they answer my emails?"
"How do I tell them about ___?" - you fill in the blank.
"How can you tell if they are lying?"

"Why don't they answer my emails?" You'll never know, but rudeness is a pretty good guess. Say "Thank you" to cyberspace for weeding out inconsiderate candidates so quickly!

"How do I tell them about ___?" Just about everyone has something they are ashamed of others knowing and worried about how to break the news. This question takes time and finesse for the best solution -- and usually there IS a good solution! A Romance Coach could help if you are really stumped.

Much of the problem of Internet lying is media over hype. What kind of interest would there be in a story about all the honest people who are on the Net?

But of course some people do lie, and being concerned about who is and who isn't lying makes a heck of a lot of sense.

"How can you tell if they are lying?" Count the ways:

Reasons people lie:
To avoid conflict.
To avoid the consequences of their behavior.
To postpone having to make changes in lifestyle.
To hide something they did or did not do.
To avoid rejection.
To be in control of a situation.
To avoid being embarrassed.
To make themselves appear more successful, good, or talented than they really are.
All make terrific reasons for people to lie online.

How to detect lying:
A truthful person will be "congruent." That means that all the information they give out -- their words, body language, they way they live and dress, everything -- fits together and contains no contradictions. People who lie will be incongruent in some way.

Here's what to watch out for:
1. How they use words, written, on the phone, or in person:
Talking faster or slower.

Changes in voice pitch.

Taking charge of conversation, attempts to distract you.

Continual denying of accusations.

Unusual voice fluctuations, word choice, sentence structure.

Stalling the conversation by repetitive use of pauses and comments like "um" or "you know."

Lack of use of contractions.

Prefers emphasizing "not" when talking.

Being extremely defensive.

Saying "Trust me" or "this is a True Story"

2. How they behave or the attitudes they exhibit:
Being hesitant.

Nervous laughter.

Smugness.

Uncommon calmness.

Providing more information and specifics than is necessary or was asked for.

Inconsistencies in what is being shared.

3. In-person behavior clues:
Touching chin, covering the mouth, or rubbing brows.

Crossed arms or legs.

Pupils narrow.

Playing with hair.

Body language and facial expressions don't match what is being said such as saying "no", but nodding head up and down.

Avoidance of eye contact, eyes glancing to the right, staring past you or down, or turning away from you while they are talking.

Rigid or fidgeting.

Slouching posture.

Unnatural or limited arm and hand movements.

Partial shrug.

Lack of finger pointing.

May place a barrier such as a desk or chair in front of self.

Sweating, even if it isn't a warm day.

Saying "no" several times.

4. Your own inner cues:
You sense something is not right. Explanations do not feel enough for you. You feel confused, you find yourself squinting or angling your head. You feel a block or a wall between you and the other.

In Internet dating, or any kind of dating for that matter, keep your anxiety down, your head attached, and LISTEN to everything your date tells you in every way. People tell you about themselves constantly, from the very first second of contact. You just have to be willing to hear it. Not only do they tell you by what they do say, they tell you by what they don't say.

Many of these cues can come from simple distraction or nervousness, not deceit. New daters have plenty of reasons to be anxious. Signs of lying differ from one person to another. Don't let your own nervousness force a jump to wrong conclusions. Give your date a break and take some time.

Often, Cyber daters move too quickly to the phone and/or a face to face meeting. Gone is the golden opportunity to safely ask questions and study answers slowly and over time. Moving to face-to-face or skin-to-skin vastly increases tension and anxiety, which complicate clear thinking and judgment. (Some Cyber-players try to avoid a face to face meeting all together!)

With online dating, you have a tremendous advantage over meeting immediately flesh-to-flesh: You have a written record of what the other tells you. Make use of it!

www.KathrynBLord.com

(SAVE SAVE SAVE your IM's & EMAILS!!!)

Online revenge sites latest landmine in modern dating game

Online revenge sites latest landmine in modern dating game

Bad dates beware — all your misdeeds and misbehaviour are a click away for all to see.

If you have dumped someone unceremoniously, cheated, lied or otherwise been a sleaze or a stalker, read all about it on the Internet.

Posting dating and mating horror stories of wrongdoing is the latest way to exact revenge on exes in the modern dating game.

A new website owned by two Calgary entrepreneurs, www.playersandpsychos.com, is the latest venue to out bad boys and girls.

The site includes stories written by the jilted about their lovers’ wrongdoings and, in many cases, the photos and full names of the so-called players and psychos and their tales of torment.

The stories are nasty.

People are called out as promiscuous, as sexually-transmitted-infection spreaders, drug addicts, cheaters, deadbeat dads, con artists, broke bums, prostitutes, sleazebags, dirtbags, all manner of bags, cyberpaths or e-whores. (The latter two are newish terms — serial online daters who prey on the vulnerable via Lava Life, match.com, or plentyoffish.com, to name three online dating sites.)

At playersandpsychos.com, anyone can post a story with photos about someone they’ve loved, lusted and lost. A player and psycho of the month are also crowned. A revenge section with cringe-invoking tales of comeuppance strangely entertains. (Car shovelled full of snow anyone?)

"It seems to me that the good outweighs the bad," says site co-owner Ian Gordon, a 24-year-old graduate student in Calgary.

Membership is free, and so far 410 people from across Canada and the United States have signed up since May, when the site was launched, says Gordon’s business partner Sheldon Pereira. The site has not attracted any advertising, but both owners claim it’s getting 300,000 hits a day.
Those who post must sign an online agreement, vowing they will only post information that is true. Gordon admits they have no way of knowing if the 100 and counting posts are 100 per cent accurate.

"It would be great if there weren’t any jerks who abused our site but if there weren’t any jerks, there would be no need for our site," he says. "It’s a Catch-22."

However, the site has the potential to do a lot of good helping singles find out about a bad date’s past, Gordon says.

Think of it as a high-tech way to weed out the weasels.

Playersandpsychos.com joins other revenge sites for the unlucky in love. At dontdatehimgirl.com and howigoteven.com, retaliation is also the special of the day.

Consider this e-scorning just one of the many perils of dating. No longer are your (alleged) misdeeds fodder for circles of friends and co-workers in the immediate vicinity. Instead, your questionable antics, true or otherwise, are posted for the world to see.

Pereira says playersandpsychos.com is different from similar sites because those who are outed can retort, right on the same page. Others can chime in, too — which they do, in droves.

All of which makes for a weird, yet mildly entertaining back-and-forth read and, ultimately, compelling insight into contemporary dating.

One wonders how all this nastiness advances humanity in any way. I mean, how much name-calling and "he said, she said" can anyone take?

And what are the long-term consequences of all this kissing and e-telling?

Imagine, for example, an employer googling their prospective hire’s name and up pops "deadbeat dad with herpes," or "gold-digging whore."

It wouldn’t be pretty. Misdeeds may last one, maybe two minutes tops, but an e-trail is forever.

"It’s supposed to be a service of some kind yet it’s so easy to go so wrong," says Amy Cameron, dating expert and author of Playing with Matches, Misadventures in Dating (Anchor Canada, 2005).

On the one hand, it can genuinely be a service. On the other, when you’re in a breakup and you’ve been hurt and wronged, you may lash out and regret it soon after, says the Toronto-based writer. And if you post something nasty, be prepared to be posted on yourself and expect the story to be worse, she warns.

"It’s a two-way street. It’s a very dangerous game."

Consider the story of Todd Hollis. Very unflattering stories about the Pittsburgh criminal lawyer were posted on dontdatehimgirl.com he claims were defamatory, according to a story by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. So last month, Hollis, 38, filed a lawsuit against the site’s owner and operator, Tasha Joseph, 33, a former Miami Herald columnist who started the site. (Hollis has also started his own website to fight back, classaction-dontdatehimgirl.com.) (Hollis' site is now defunct and the lawsuit was dismissed by the courts)

The case is still before the courts.
In Calgary, Pereira says playersandpsychos.com is protected. The 27-year-old web designer says the postings are akin to patrons in a coffee shop talking about someone else and then blaming the coffee shop owner for what is said in those conversations.

That defence doesn’t wash with one Calgary media lawyer.

"That’s insane. It’s quite unlike that situation because it’s not overhearing idle chit-chat. It’s the maintaining and persisting in the publication of defamatory statements," says Scott Watson, a lawyer with Parlee McLaws.

"They have some exposure. They have some risk."

It’s not a matter of truth, it’s a matter of opinions, he adds.

Which, when you think about it, is exactly what the dating game has always been, for better or worse.

Or, to look at it another way: The truth has always been a matter of opinions.

The difference is, now we have to worry about how far and wide those opinions might be broadcast.

Calgary Herald

(NOTE: EOPC is NOT a revenge site. It is an informational and educational site providing information, validation (important since all cyberpaths INSIST their victim is lying when they are caught) and hopefully a small bit of closure for those abused by cyberpaths. - THE TRUTH IS A 100% LEGAL DEFENSE TO CLAIMS OF DEFAMATION OR SLANDER Fighter)

FINAL NOTE ON GRIDNEY/ YIDWITHLID & A WORD ABOUT CYBERPATHS

An update and final note on Sammy Benoit/ GRIDNEY/ YidwithLid for this rerun of his expose. This is a great example of what these predators do when they catch on that they've been exposed.

Do you think they - Apologize? Get Help? Admit What They've Done? Make Amends to the Victim(s)? No! As we have said, cyberpaths are narcissists or sociopaths at their core and those persons never ever apologize. Or if they do they will close the "I'm Sorry" with "but you..."

Sammy Benoit/ GRIDNEY/ YidwithLid was very peeved to find out his story was here. So he decided to go after the person he thinks is posting it - his Target #1.

Reality: Target #2 first contacted us and from there EOPC contacted Target #1. Target #1 told her story to us a few months out of a treatment program for severe PTSD caused by her relationship with Sammy Benoit/ Yidwithlid /GRIDNEY - and her counselors told her "don't let it tear you up inside - TELL."

EOPC also warned her what her predator might do. But posting it herself here? She did not. GRIDNEY/ Yidwithlid thinks she controls the internet it seems!

This expose was the second one to come with law enforcement verification (the first was "Ed" Charles Hicks). Typically, Sammy Benoit/ YIDWITHLID is now telling people it's "all made up" and to top that off - he thinks Target #1 is us!

MR. Yidwithlid - if you are reading this - there are four (4) people that run this site (we all post as 'Fighter') and neither your Target #1 or Target #2 is one of them. Also, we get an affidavit from everyone who tells us their story that this is the truth and would hold up in a court of law. Everyone.

Mr. Yidwithlid, you are the one keeping this story alive by having a tantrum every time you see something. This the third time we have re-run it. Other sites have picked it up and our policy is - we refuse to remove unless there's legal confirmation. We were asked to remove your story in March 2007 by Target #1. We declined when those who run this site found out what you were up to; attacking and threatening your victims. More than one person confirmed this story as did our contact with law enforcement for us in 2004. And we don't negotiate with terrorists.

If you would like to write a genuine apology, acknowledging your actions and why you coerced these vulnerable persons - we would be more than happy to post it for you. You must have back up and be willing to sign a release that if we are sued YOU will take full responsibility for what is posted and its veracity. Your victims had no problem doing that.

Initially Yidwithlid (now calling himself Sammy Benoit instead of his real name) posted his version of events on his new blog and later removed it. Target #1 had apparently discovered some additional problems with people she knew cyberbullying Sammy Benoit/ GRIDNEY/YIDWITHLID on her behalf. She stopped them and posted all legally verifiable information.

She included Sammy Benoit/ GRIDNEY/YIDWITHLID's version of events and says she made efforts to everything about him taken down. Most sites? Simply will not without a court document and even then some won't. On the site she details her efforts to get postings of him on other sites that used his real name taken down, even though Target #1 wasn't the one who put them there, and how futile it was.

Sammy Benoit/ GRIDNEY/ YIDWITHLID sees the actions of all others against him as the fault of only Target #1. ha ha ha

As to Sammy Benoit/ GRIDNEY's version, upon reading it, we found it did not make a lot of sense, it was very watered down, confusing and had a lot of gaps in it covered by statements of "love" for his wife and what a good person he is. (example: GRIDNEY left out his lunch hour hooker habit and porn addiction which started a couple years before he even looked up Target #1. Nor does he mention Target #2; perhaps they are still involved?)

Worse -- his version had astoundingly icy statements in it like "I stopped cybering with her and started cybering with someone else." Boom, just like that. No explanation -- just talking about his victims like objects. Considering the tremendous devastation he visited on Target #1 and her family, he's lucky -- because he destroyed this woman's life and thought nothing of her but sex. And thought the same of her friend, Target #2 - who is also a real person not a thing. His own statements reveal his severe pathology.

Sammy Benoit/ GRIDNEY/ YIDWITHLID uses the tired, old 'woman scorned' defense and stock phrases like "hell hath no fury" or "the rest is history". The 'woman scorned' nonsense is a time-worn defense that even the legal system knows is bull these days. Without fail, every single Cyberpath who has been exposed here and subsequently contacted us - use this same defense in addition to calling their Targets crazy, stalkers and accusing them of slander & defamation. It is so predictable it gets monotonous.

After publishing this blog for as many years as we have now - an accusation by a Cyberpath that their Target is a 'nutjob' is, in our minds, a confirmation to EOPC that the Cyberpath is lying and projecting and that the Targets have told us the truth.

We have contacted Target #1 and told her that she has a good libel case against Sammy Benoit/ GRIDNEY/YIDWITHLID and that he is so fixated on blaming her for everything that went wrong in his life. (he accuses Target #1 of: 'hurting his wife' by telling her the truth and the latest: 'driving his mother to a heart attack' - which Target #1 denies even knowing what he's referring to on her site and provides proofs to that effect) so please use caution as he seems to be a loose canon.

His attack, like all of them, against someone he drove to the brink - is typical of the misogyny or misandry of Cyberpaths - done simultaneously as they swear they love their partners/ spouses.

(Cyberpaths paint the wife/husband/partner as ALL GOOD and the victims who dare to tell the truth as ALL BAD by comparing them. This is paramoralizing nonsense; typical of the black & white thinking of a pathological person. The partners AND the victims are probably the ALL GOOD - it is the Cyberpath who is ALL BAD.)

As with all Cyberpaths - their image is everything. They hurt their victims as if they were nothing and they use people like objects. So readers, look below at what the rage of one Cyberpath does - and then see for yourself if Sammy Benoit/ GRIDNEY/ YIDWITHLID's words are the words of a rational, normal human being.

OTHER CYBERPATHS - SAME PATTERN
Mike Campbell went to court with one of his victims trying to shut her up. He also assumed that she is one who posted about him all over the web. Wrong.

We heard from three (3) other of his victims (who did not want their emails published because they are scared of Mr. Campbell or their families) confirming the sort of person he is and his predatory tactics.

Supposedly Campbell's tried to control the whole internet to stop the truth about him being out. Just like GRIDNEY/ Yidwithlid - Campbell is blaming one person for posting him everywhere. The truth is that our stories often get picked up by other sites. Also, other victims will hide behind the story of a victim who is brave enough to come forward - and then post the story themselves.

Why do these Cyberpaths pick on that one person? Probably because they are the most truthful. Remember our posts about who Cyberpaths' target? The best and brightest among us. Predators usually pick the most moral, compassionate and truthful person to smear because 'mud sticks best to a clean spot.'

"Ed" Charles Hicks (aka Charles Greene) is back online on various dating sites, writing numerous women with a system so he can keep them all straight. Rumor has it he's writing a book to tell his truth - i.e.: that his last two wives set him up just to get on T.V. and ruin his life. Not a word about the thousands of dollars he stole from them, the ruined lives or his year in jail. Not a word that all the facts about him were independently verified by the Assistant D.A. in Virginia. Remember: these predators CREATE THEIR ONE VERSION OF REALITY AND LIVE THERE!

And Mr. Hicks is currently on the lam. A fugitive. So EOPC wishes Mr. Hicks good luck finding a publisher - maybe O.J. can give him some advice there if they end up in jail together.

BRAD DORSKY, STEVEN LANGLEY GUY & KEITH CLIVE have all come here multiple times, surfing only their stories and lashing out at us and usually the person they "think" has exposed them.

PHIL HABERMAN dragged his victim to court - of course wrong state, wrong venue - and isn't getting what he wants. In fact - Phil's looking crazier all the time.

If only they'd put that energy towards getting long term psychological help.

We have had Cyberpaths write us as their "alleged other victims" or their "lawyer" (btw - all the same IP) demanding & threatening us to remove them. Not asking, not providing us with anything other than their rageful demands.

We hold everyone to the same standard. YOUR WORDS ARE NOT PROOF. We must have verification and you must sign an affidavit that if you are lying you can (and will) be prosecuted for perjury and holding EOPC harmless.

We have yet to remove anyone permanently with one except - at the request of a deeply harmed victim who was threatened with serious harm by her Cyberpath. We also pass all threats to appropriate law enforcement.

We agree with AA and other recovery organizations that FULL DISCLOSURE can be very helpful in healing from the trauma and emotional rape caused by these Narcissistic, Sociopathic predators.

We have had Cyberpaths or their buddies try to join our mail list support group. That won't be happening. Sometimes all four of us check IPs and we are lucky enough to have some law enforcement help on those occasions.

We are constantly surprised, but not shocked, at the anger & rage these Cyberpaths have at being exposed! It is not an anger management problem. Narcissistic & sociopathic types do no have a problem with their anger - they have a problem with their victims being angry. Their victims are simply objects to them so "how dare they" feel pain, become ill, attempt suicide, have PTSD, complain or expose them. That's how sick and soul-less Cyberpaths are.

Cyberpaths will say "but they did it too!" (or "she's a cheater, too!!" or "she KNEW it was wrong") Oh, Really?

• Were they aware you were using & grooming them, slowly brainwashing and telling them you had feelings for/ or were 'in love with' them?
• Were they aware that you didn't care one bit about them other than what kicks you could get from them?
• Did your victims know you had other prey on the hook, or were a sex addict, or a bigamist, or a fraud?
• Did they know when you said "I care about you" or "I love you" you were lying?

In Mr. Yidwithlid's case - we ask him: Did your victims know you'd been seeing hookers on your lunch hours since 2000? Spending money on online porn and cybering with professional cyber-whores? Spending money on phone sex? Did they know? Or did you make them think they were the ONE AND ONLY? and you'd NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE?

You know the answer to that, Sir. So you also know where to put your blame-shifting of "they were married and knew what they were getting into" and "it takes two to tango" baloney.

If so, they DID NOT 'do it too.' They are human beings capable of something you are not - honest feelings. And they have every right to their hurt, anger and need to have some sort of closure.

But don't expect the Cyberpath to feel shame, sorrow or remorse. Ever.

Shame on any Cyberpath who attacks their victims! Talking, telling the truth and being kind would get you a lot farther than raging against victimized people.

HERE'S SOME EMAIL WE GOT FROM Sammy Benoit/ GRIDNEY/YidwithLid IN RESPONSE TO OUR REQUEST FOR HIM TO REMOVE SOME OF THE POSTS HE LIFTED IN FULL, GRAPHICS INCLUDED, FROM EOPC AND PLACED HERE
(he's since taken them down with zero admission that he did something wrong or an apology at his grave mistake!):

EOPC'S INITIAL EMAIL (SENT Sammy Benoit/ GRIDNEY/ YIDWITHLID & TO BLOGGER) -
~~~~~~~

OUR POST ALONG WITH OUR COMMENTS & GRAPHICS WERE TAKEN WHICH CONSTITUTES COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT:

This is to advise you that you are using copyrighted and protected material on your website/blog. Your illegal, unauthorized use of http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006/03/j-open-mouth-insert-keyboard.html article at your site: A STUMBLING TCHATZKAH -- is originally from our blog called EXPOSING ONLINE PREDATORS & CYBERPATHS . This is original content and we are the author and copyright holder to the chat.

The IPs we have for your site are: 69.112.162.87 and 69.112.161.215

On the sidebar of our main site we give any exposed cyberpath the right to rebuttal along with the same burden of hard proof, along with a signed notarized statement that what they are saying is the truth along with copies of any pertinent documentation.

We also have our copyright/ usage rules there . Use of copyright protected material without permission is illegal under copyright laws.

Please take the following action immediately:

Remove the plagiarized material immediately.

We expect you to do so now within 24 hours as per prior notification.

Thank you for your immediate action on this matter.

Exposing Online Predators & Cyberpaths

IC3.gov -- Complaint Id: I0706271709542032

Filed with ChillingEffects.org

Sammy Benoit /GRIDNEY'S BIZARRE RESPONSES TO OUR CC OF THE ABOVE TO HIM:
from "Yidwithlid@XXX.com"
to cyberpaths@gmail.com
date Jun 24, 2007 5:04 PM
subject Re: http://stumblingtchatzkahs.blogspot.com

dear cyberpaths
I published it for educational purposes also. It teaches people how one overzealous psycopahth can take slander from a sick women and post them on a website without knowin what the truth is. Or how one sick individtual can do her best to drive my mom to a heart attack.

You are a sick individual and so is your friend [Target #1]. Dont be surprised I circulate it even more, If She is determined to keep this up. I will make sure the world will know what a mom of two spends her time doing ..instead of taking car of her children.
_________________

from "Yidwithlid@XXX.com"
to cyberpaths@gmail.com
date Jun 25, 2007 6:35 PM
subject Re: http://stumblingtchatzkahs.blogspot.com

you got my response yesterday...If you dont stop with this nonsense I will add stumbling tchatkes to every blog aggrigator I can find. Your choice [Target #1's name]
__________________

from "Yidwithlid@XXX.com"
to cyberpaths@gmail.com
cc support@blogger.com
date Jun 27, 2007 7:19 PM
subject Re: http://stumblingtchatzkahs.blogspot.com

but [Target #1's name] if I wrote the chat I am the copywrite holder...and if I didnt then take it down and I will
___________________

from "Yidwithlid@XX.com"
to cyberpaths@gmail.com
date Jun 28, 2007 6:49 PM
subject Re: http://stumblingtchatzkahs.blogspot.com

hope you are enjoying the convention in eurpe [Target #1]
____________________

from "yidwithlid@XX.com" hide details Jun 29
to cyberpaths@gmail.com
date Jun 29, 2007 3:12 PM
subject Re: http://stumblingtchatzkahs.blogspot.com

Hey [Target #1's name]...haven't you gone to the site? I left you a present..You enjoying the pacific northwest?
_______________
(didn't he just accuse her of being in Europe the day before? Is he on medication or what?)


As stated, NOTE that Sammy Benoit/ GRIDNEY/YIDWITHLID addresses EOPC as if we are Target #1. We still can't figure out these emails but he did verify for us that he is probably a pathological man, a textbook-predictable Narcissist and a Cyberpath.

"The [exposed Cyberpath] on the other hand, cannot rest until they have blotted out a vaguely experienced [target] who dared to oppose them or [expose them], to disagree with them or to outshine them. [The Cyberpath] can never find rest because they can NEVER FULLY wipe out the evidence that has contradicted their conviction they are unique and perfect. This archaic rage goes on and on and on." - Dr. Ernest Wolf

Are Sammy Benoit/ GRIDNEY/YIDWITHLID and predators like him sociopaths? We aren't doctors. And malignant narcissists & sociopaths rarely present themselves to psychiatrists and tell the truth - because they make the truth up as they go along. So, let's look at Dr. Stout's checklist in THE SOCIOPATH NEXT DOOR with regards to Sammy Benoit/ GRIDNEY/YidwithLid

In her book, Stout also describes other techniques that shameless sociopaths use to keep the rest of us in line. They are:

• Charm (all of Sammy Benoit/ GRIDNEY/YIDWITHLID's targets found him charming and sweet)
• Risk-taking, and convincing others to do it with them (despite Sammy Benoit/ GRIDNEY/YIDWITHLID's later assertions that his targets were just as guilty as him - he did convince and 'sell' them on an affair with him. Target #2 says he even sent her an article about how affairs help people to further his agenda)
• Recognizing a person who is decent and trusting — the perfect target (both of Sammy Benoit/ GRIDNEY/ YIDWITHLID's targets were basically decent, trusting people.)
• Sexual seduction (see the expose - he initiated & furthered ALL sexual involvement)
• Crocodile tears — especially when sociopaths are about to be confronted (see GRIDNEY/ YIDWITHLID's lame 'apology' to his targets. And if Mr. Benoit/ GRIDNEY/ YIDWITHLID wants to write a real apology - we would be happy to publish it for him at any time; as we would for any of our exposed cyberpaths) We doubt he will even read this - it would interfere with his 'reality'
• Righteous indignation — Plan B when sociopaths are about to be confronted (please see Sammy Benoit /GRIDNEY/ YidwithLid's hate site against one of his victims. Probably the one more 'decent and trusting' of all the targets - they are usually the ones who get smeared the worst. Other examples: Ed Hicks' last wives #6 & #7.)
• Exploiting social and professional roles (GRIDNEY/ YIDWITHLID has gone back to his publishers (under a new identity - Sammy Benoit), family, clergyman, job and 'friends' to continue to exploit his religious/family-man image as a platform for smearing his victims and elevating himself. He has never fulled owned or admitted the depth of his depravity or the devastation he purposedly caused innocent people. He has, as far as we know, continued to lie to everyone - including himself - who will actually listen to him.
  
• Gaslighting — making victims doubt their own perceptions (GRIDNEY/ YIDWITHLID continues to blame his victims for their being hurt & upset by what he did to them! Insists they 'knew what they were getting into'; or it was consensual; and/or they are harassing him by standing up for themselves and telling the truth. Another was blaming his victims for 'turning him on' and 'making' him want the affairs! Wonder if using his money to pay for expensive prostitutes turned him on too?)

1. 
   

IT IS EOPC'S FIRM BELIEF THAT CYBERPATHS FALL INTO THIS CATEGORY.

READ BELOW AND SEE WHAT TO DO ABOUT THESE EXPLOITATIVE PREDATORS & OUR KUDOS TO ALL OUR PAST VICTIMS WHO WERE BRAVE ENOUGH TO COME FORWARD TO LET OTHERS KNOW - THEY ARE NOT ALONE IN THEIR GRIEF & PAIN.

AS YOU READ THE FOLLOWING - THINK OF THE PREDATORS WE HAVE EXPOSED IN THE LAST 4 YEARS - DO THEY FIT THE PATTERN? WE SAY YES.

THE MALIGNANT PERSONALITY
By Caroline Konrad

These people are mentally ill and extremely dangerous! The following precautions will help to protect you from the destructive acts of which they are capable.

First, to recognize them, keep the following guidelines in mind.

(1) They are habitual liars. They seem incapable of either knowing or telling the truth about anything.

(2) They are egotistical to the point of narcissism. They really believe they are set apart from the rest of humanity by some special grace.

(3) They scapegoat; they are incapable of either having the insight or willingness to accept responsibility for anything they do. Whatever the problem, it is always someone else's fault.

(4) They are remorselessly vindictive when thwarted or exposed.

(5) Genuine religious, moral, or other values play no part in their lives. They have no empathy for others. Under older psychological terminology, they fall into the category of psychopath or sociopath, but unlike the typical psychopath, their behavior is masked by a superficial social facade.

If you have come into conflict with such a person or persons, do the following immediately! :

Notify your friends and relatives of what has happened. Don't be ashamed. Tell.

Do not be vague. Name names, and specify dates and circumstances. Identify witnesses if possible and provide supporting documentation if any is available.

Instruct friends to take such an incident to the newspapers and other media.

yidwithlid

Calling In Pros to Refine Your Google Image

By Susan Kinzie and Ellen Nakashima
Washington Post Staff Writers

At the height of the cyber-abuse, Sue Scheff, a consultant to parents of troubled teens, would type her name in a Google search box and brace herself: Up would pop page after page of attack postings.

Sue Scheff is destroying lives. She is a con. She takes kickbacks. She is the biggest fraud there ever was.

The stream of negative comments began in 2002 after a woman who had sought advice from Scheff turned on her. The postings appeared on PTA Web sites in Florida, where Scheff lives. On bulletin boards and online forums. There were even YouTube videos threatening her.

She sued for defamation and won an $11.3 million verdict, but the attacks only got worse. In December, Scheff turned to ReputationDefender, a year-old firm that promised to help her cleanse her virtual reputation. She no longer dreads a Google search on her name. Most of the links on the all-important first page are to her own Web site and a half-dozen others created by ReputationDefender to promote her work on teen pregnancy and teen depression.

"They created Sue-Scheff.net," she said. "They created SueScheff.net. They
created SueScheff.org. . . . They created my MySpace account, for God's sake. I didn't know how to do any of this stuff."

Google's ubiquity as a research tool has given rise to a new industry: online identity management. The proliferation of blogs and Web sites can allow angry clients, jealous lovers or ruthless competitors to define a person's identity. Whether true or not, their words can have far-reaching effects.

Charging anything from a few dollars to thousands of dollars a month, companies such as International Reputation Management, Naymz and ReputationDefender don't promise to erase the bad stuff on the Web. But they do assure their clients of better results on an Internet search, pushing the positive items up on the first page and burying the others deep.

Still, Google is continually refining its search methods, which means that today's fix may not work tomorrow.

"This is a game that nobody can completely win," said Chris Dellarocas, a University of Maryland information systems professor.

Dodging Mudballs
The e-mails from friends started showing up three years ago in the Washington lobbyist's in-basket: Have you seen this?

Over decades in the capital, she had developed a thick skin. But after she took on a foreign regime as a client, an online magazine bashed her. The story was factual, but the tone nasty. Then a blogger wrote that she slept with someone to get a big contract. A political blog posted an e-mail she had written about secret campaign strategy. Truth mixed with rumor. Rumor mixed with lies.

Concerned friends sent her the links. Potential clients would say they had read about her on the Web.

Like Scheff, she realized that the items that made her cringe came up high on the Google results page and stayed there, month after month. Her firm depended on her reputation. The lobbyist would speak only on condition of anonymity because she did not want the attacks to resume.

"There's no policing, no rules, no standards," she said. Bloggers are "cowboys," she said. "It's the wild, wild West."

Then one day she heard a talk by Nino Kader, founder of International Reputation Management (IRM) in Washington. His new company, he said, could reshape a person's online image.

She signed up.

IRM aims to get lots of information out there about clients, in various places, so that a search gives a more complete and nuanced profile of who they are. Kader started with a printout of the top 100 hits on a Google search and went through them one by one, asking whether individual results -- such as her campaign contributions -- were good, bad or neutral.

He asked what she wanted the world to know about her. Then he started digging for good things, like an op-ed piece she had written and television interviews she had given that he could post on YouTube. He pitched stories about her to various publications. And he created links from popular sites to those online stories to entice the search engine.

Now her firm's Web site is the first result and other good ones follow.

Still, a story she hates remains on the first page.

"I'm in the early stages," she said. "I've already seen progress."

Companies like IRM try to outthink Google. Search engines comb the Web with complex and ever-shifting algorithms, evaluating relevance and authority by looking at many factors: Is this a government Web site? How many people have linked to it? And so on.

The point is, said ReputationDefender founder Michael Fertik, "Google's not in business to give you the truth, it's in business to give what you think is relevant."

The goal is to get Google and other search engines to seize on relevant sites that contain positive information on their clients and to downplay the rest.

Google does not object in principle to people adding positive content to outrank the negative. But a spokeswoman said in an e-mail, "if you use spammy and manipulative techniques to get this positive content to rank highly, we may take action on it."

Some companies create promotional Web pages for their clients with coding that makes them appealing to Google or create blog pages linking to the client's own site, ensuring they'll rise to the top.

Image Makeover
Geoffrey VanderPal knew politics was a nasty game, but the candidate for Nevada state treasurer wasn't prepared for the blog attacks. Supporters of his opponent posted charge after charge. He briefly considered suing.

But many of his tormentors were anonymous. And U.S. courts have generally protected Web site hosts from civil actions such as defamation, though that may be changing. Besides, he knew as a public figure he'd have a higher burden to prove libel.

When VanderPal lost the Democratic primary last August, he returned to private life as a financial planner. But the blog postings lived on, prominently, at the top of the Google results page. Potential clients avoided him.

He wanted to suppress the negative information about him, both true and false, so he turned to ReputationDefender.

The firm at first tried a low-tech approach: a polite request to a blogger to remove a post about his personal finances. But the blogger declined, saying the item was a matter of public record. Asking politely has backfired in a small number of cases, Fertik said, with Webmasters sometimes posting and mocking the requests.

So Fertik's team, which works from a Silicon Valley office, offered VanderPal its premium service, using various techniques to promote VanderPal's own site and suppress the blogs. That service now starts at $10,000.

Within weeks, VanderPal began to see "a remarkable difference." Though a few nasty comments are still up there, the first three pages are mostly clean.

"Everything's wrapped up in your reputation," said VanderPal, 34. "If you don't have that, you don't have much."

The reputation firms won't take on everyone. Fertik says ReputationDefender won't work with clients who want to suppress violent crimes, for example.

The clients the firms accept are varied: a real estate mogul wanting to move past a decade-old transgression, a prominent academic falsely accused of murder, a hedge fund manager who doesn't like seeing his old New York Times wedding announcement on Google years after he divorced and remarried, a college student who regretted once dressing up as a prostitute at a Halloween party.

Then there was the businessman who paid a Securities and Exchange Commission fine a few years ago.

"Does a person in this situation have a chance to start again?" Fertik asked. "Should this be the first or second thing that shows up on the Internet? Is it fair?"

ReputationDefender decided to work with him.

Staff researcher Bob Lyford contributed to this report.
Hat Tip To "Survivor" for this find!

THAT 'SOMETHING MORE' ABOUT Yidwithlid /GIDNEY

(EOPC first ran this expose in February 2005 - it is a must read for victims as this predator is a CLASSIC, TEXTBOOK Cyberpath)

We will distill some of the aftermath of the explosion of the sex-addict games of our predator of the month, Yidwithlid/GRIDNEYs - twisted world.

As with all of our predators, the situation evolving around them is ongoing as of this writing. - Fighter

(UPDATE! One of the brothels Yidwithlid/GRIDNEY was found going to by law enforcement was busted. ARTICLE HERE. Yidwithlid was identified as a client from photos, according to law enforcement he will not face any charges, according to Target #2. Yidwithlid information was material to a major-case operation to shut down this brothel and police didn't want to tip off Yidwithlid, the brothel or his buddies at his local police station 2 counties away by saying anything. Target #2 said police denied Yidwithlid was under investigation but that is understandable - because as we have seen Yidwithlid has a big mouth! Target #1 was unavailable when EOPC tried to reach her for comment. - May, 2005)


This expose left off with Target #1 taking everything to the police. Detectives did cursory web searches and told her the shocking truth: that Yidwithlid was a sex 'hobbyist' with an expensive hooker habit and a sex addict with a computer full of porn and 'cookies' linking his IP to porn sites all over the internet.

Target #2 sent the things Yidwithlid sent her to the FBI & law enforcement, since she did not ask for the homemade porn he sent her and was disgusted. Target #2 told us she told Yidwithlids publishers, job and family members that he is a predator - using his articles as bait & ego strokes - and zeroing in on vulnerable women; manipulating them into cybersex & future physical relations. (CLASSIC! These guys almost ALWAYS zero in on vulnerable and/or trusting women. Remember: TRUSTWORTHY people rarely question the trustworthiness of others.)

- 1 month after: Yidwithlid and his wife take out a cease & desist on Targets #1 and #2. Neither Targets ever recieved any notification of such an order. Target #1 finds out only when she is hassled on the phone by a Detective Yidwithlid and his wife went to to help them harass her needlessly. (Yidwithlid had no 'time' to call her during his predation on her but he DID give Target #1s phone number to police when he wanted her further traumatized! What a guy!)

It all stops when Target #1 sends EVERYTHING to the detective Yidwithlid & his wife recruited to help harass her -- and his Sargeant and Target #2 calls this police station and has a conversation with the Sargeant in charge.

Target #2 sends them her information to show them Yidwithlid/GRIDNEY had used the Detective in a selective smear campaign and the criminal behavior was Yidwithlids -- not hers.

(this was pure PROJECTION on Yidwithlids part and a typical cyberpath move to silence the truth!!

Online Predator's Egos cause them to chronically UNDERESTIMATE their Targets.

And Cyberpaths/Predators will use ANYONE - family, police, even websites - to try to silence their targets. Don't we wonder WHAT he told his family? Of course he had to make excuses to never contact his wounded targets and give them the apologies they deserved - they could refute his SPIN DOCTORING!! Typical predator.)


- 2 months after Target #1s visit to the police, she received a call from the District Attorney's Office needing confirmation on all the materials she turned over as well as some new items that have turned up about Yidwithlids extramarital activities. They thank her.

Target #1 had unplugged and taken down her computer as well. Target #1 then receives letters from Computer Crimes/ Department of Investigation to thank her for coming forward as well. (possible links to his downloading this e-book was traced back to Yidwithlid by police, as per their report to us.

(Nice way to treat women you said you CARED ABOUT -- Yidwithlid!! )

- 4 months later: Target #1 goes away with her children to deal with serious PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) issues that are affecting her health from the guilt, stress & threats made to her by Yidwithlid.


- Yidwithlid rebounds quickly and writes a couple more of his articles and gets them published.

(Obviously, Yidwithlid convinced his wife, family, clergy person and publishers it was 1. all a set up and/or it was a lie 2. and/or he was the VICTIM of a campaign by scorned women -- you pick!! Cyberpaths use the same excuses.... it must come with their seduction handbooks!)

- 5 months later: While away visiting family, Target #1 recieves a call from yet ANOTHER female friend not mentioned in this story. This friend lives about 30 mins from Yidwithlid/GRIDNEY and has NEVER met him online or off. But she knows what happened between Target #1 and "J."

Seems Yidwithlid has placed this woman on his e-mailing list for his articles! Yidwithlid probably gleaned her email addy from something Target #1 cc'd to everyone on her mail list a while back. (Yidwithlid WAS TROLLING AGAIN!!! and TROLLING TARGET #1s FRIENDS AGAIN!! What a sadistic jerk! How cruel these cyberpaths can be.)

This woman blocked Yidwithlid and did not respond to his emails and send everything to the Computer Crimes Squad for their official record. (Target #1 overcame her shame and embarrassment and told her friends what had happened as part of apologizing for her bad behavior. THIS IS WHY it is VITALLY IMPORTANT for victims to come forward and TELL TELL TELL and not be bullied!!)

[Online Predators] count on our shame to keep their secrets. They know that exposing them means exposing our own failings. That's what makes them so powerful.

They manipulate us into these situations then sit back & watch us squirm between protecting ourselves or blowing the whistle. The [victim often] is still emotionally connected to the [Cyberpath], thus protecting them and accusing them alternatively.

Many [victim]s will not name their [cyberpath]s to counsellors or other helpers, thus protecting their identity.

The hook, which the [Cyberpath] has implanted in their heart, is hard to remove.

If you want something to cry about, cry for the [Cyberpath]'s new victim(s) or spouse/ partners, the innocent, unmarked, un-inoculated prey. These victims are carefully chosen... - Mary Ann Borg Cunen"

- 6 months later: Target #1 closes down her emails and ISP due to the old ones being watched for threats. She also closes 2 email lists for disabled persons she was running and retreats from every message board she was on.

- 9 months later: Yidwithlid/GRIDNEYs favorite madam from his hooker reviews is arrested and charged with promoting prostitution, operating a brothel, and her operation ($3M a year) which was done from 3-4 locations, is closed down. The madam has drugs and firearms in her places as well, and is accused (later plead out) of hiring & using underage girls. (see UPDATE above)

- 10 months later: Detectives report to EOPC that one of Yidwithlids possible online whore - booking agencies is busted and found to be trafficking in illegals as well as money-laundering.


- 11 months later: Another brothel connected to the investigation is busted and closed down. An affiliate operation ($7M a year) is busted and closed down.

- months later (reported to EOPC by Target #2): Yidwithlid posts an 'ethical tract' on his old website about how 'gossip' -- 'EVEN IF IT IS TRUE' is hurtful to people and their families. Another attempt to get Targets to stop telling the truth!

- even later: His favorite madam has a new place. Think gridney/ YidwithLid is a client yet?

(Abusers will use ANYTHING - even religion or the Bible, to get their victims to stop talking. Threats, name calling, smearing...

Predators want their proxies to think THEY are the victims, when they are really TERRORISTS who keep up the campaign to destroy their victims any way they can)



16 months later: Yidwithlid is found poking around support sites Target #1 has been on probably after surfing on her nickname. This was verified to us by 2 suport site owners with Target #1's permission

Target #2 reports that Yidwithlid told her ISP she was harrassing him and got her IP to cancel her accounts.

Yidwithlid has been erasing or deleting as much as he can about what happened and saying it never happened. Yidwithlid/GRIDNEY apparently doesn't know about archival services.

Now those of you with any empathy may ask, why didn't Yidwithlid just contact Target #1 and talk with her? or Target #2 - his 'soulmate'? Why is he erasing everything? Why do any of them do this?

Because Yidwithlid/GRIDNEY/ YidwithLid - like his fellow predators/ misogynists - is worried about HIS image, not the harm he's done to any of his victims. No its easier to blame victims for horrible things as an excuse to NEVER TALK TO THEM AGAIN. Blame the victims for 'hurting him/ his family/ his reputation, etc.

And why accuse someone you were supposedly 'madly in love with' - like GRIDNEY/ YidwithLid accused Target #2 of harassing him - and getting her IP to cancel her account?? - We won't answer this one readers, we think you can do that yourselves.

Target #1: "I just know Yidwithlid is back online. Probably using a new identity. He may do it all again because he's compulsive but I pray he does get help. (from what we saw, and we are not doctors - Yidwithlid comes across as possibly bi-polar too)

In my faith, there's a saying that its a blessing to tell on a sinner because hopefully you will get them to change their ways - and avoid God's punishment. I am taking my punishment for the wrong thing I did and verbally confessing hoping someone, somewhere will learn from my stupidity.

I no longer have a protective order against him and I never blocked him - though he's probably blocked & deleted me and tells everyone I am a liar. Yidwithlid won't contact me because then he couldn't LIE about me.

Yidwithlid hates me, his family hates me and goodness knows what he's said about me or blamed me for. I am nothing to him and I always was nothing to him.


It was shocking that someone I KNEW who claimed to be so devoted to his family put them at such risk. If I had it to do over again, I would have listened my intuition about him and not said I was 'over-reacting.'

I would do exactly the same thing in the end, despite the profound sadness I felt. I really don't believe in revenge or payback.

I told [Target #2] that she could make him happy. Later I advised her not to do many of the things she said she was going to him and his family.

I realize now women are sex objects to him. When yet another friend got email from him 5 months later? My therapist said he was cherry picking my friends - to try to hurt what was left of me. More psychological torture... like him talking about his "friends" or family that I would never meet. Or his wonderful life that I would never be any part of.

"I will never trust again. People tell me not to say that, but its my truth.

I am not dating again nor will I ever. I never did and would never do online dating or online hookups. I think they are disgusting.

Everything I did for Yidwithlid was from the purest of motives despite being wrong and stupid. And yes, again - I was wrong and I repeatedly paid the price - in my own home.

The ONLY reason I even did things for Yidwithlid was because he was someone I knew and felt I could trust! My ability to trust, especially myself - is destroyed.

Now I am doing domestic violence advocacy. I often tell women I was an Other Woman and they vent their anger from their own situations on me. I deserve it.

I don't go out unless I have to and then only for religious reasons or things having to do with my children.

I am still in counseling and on medication for the PTSD. With help I am moving forward with life and try to help others see that this is a BAD BAD idea. It's tempting but if my story is any warning to you - then please DON'T!

Yidwithlid had either a very screwed up memory of our earlier 'relationship' (if you could even call it that) or he was purposely misleading me as part of his love-bombing. I remember him saying some pretty nasty things about me, within my earshot, while we were at college together. Getting me pregnant and then devaluing me. He made me forget about those things for a while.

Yidwithlids use and dismissive treatments of me didn't change in 26 years. I was too stupid and wounded to see it.

My counselor tells me I have been a better friend to him that he will appreciate. I am sure he'd get quite a laugh out of that one... me, the horrible person he's probably making me out to be.

"We must do whatever it takes to minimize or eliminate [the predator's] access to vulnerable prey as targets of opportunity. Period. For ever. Indeed, these people will thank us for it. Consider how many [cyberpaths] deliberately get themselves caught just to stop themselves." - Operation Doubles

Yidwithlid never had any intention of even being a real friend because I meant nothing to him but an ego builder, free cybersex - something he could use while he was unemployed and broke. Just words on a screen that he could click off whenever the mood hit him. Yidwithlid wouldn't even let me be his friend or meet his family like I was garbage! Now he won't even talk to me like a human being.

So immediately, right at the beginning of chatting - before ANYTHING had gone on - Yidwithlid destroyed the ability for us to be 'just friends.' And stupid me I went along. While talking to [EOPC] I found the package of stuff my ex-husband had downloaded. I found a long chat Yidwithlid had with me where he pled his case for us to 'be together' and how much he needed me, missed me and wanted me. I bought every single word he said. Stupid me.

I tried many times to end it and kept getting reeled back in by my own naive stupidity and the addiction to him he'd planted in me.

Still, the question of WHY? Why did someone I know do this to me? Sometimes the thoughts of 'what did I ever do to Yidwithlid to deserve such hate & treatment from him?' come up. Despite all this, I do not hate him. I pray for him and his family every single day. (how many of you, readers, feel like this?)

Yidwithlid will go back to the same old comfort zone as soon and as fast as he can. (all cyberpaths do) I no longer exist for him, if I ever did. (these predators want to erase you & the fact they even know you - BE CAREFUL)

Yidwithlid/GRIDNEY's probably laughing at me and everyone else. The stupid scorned woman. But I can look at myself in the mirror.

Losing this person from my life will always be a deep ache in my soul and I miss our talks about life, religion and God. But doing the right thing? Of course.

Maybe he got help. Maybe his marriage is healed and what he truly needed all along. And maybe others will learn from my 'folie aux deux' and wrong headed, immoral behavior.That's why I submitted my story."

And EOPC Thanks you, Targets #1 & #2 for your bravery. Remember you weren't immoral - you believed a pack of lies and loved a cyberpath.

NOTE: We have one more post on Yidwithlid/GRIDNEY with the latest updates on this remorseless bully.

yidwithlid

GRIDNEY/ YidwithLid's TARGET #2: TAKING A STAND (AND A CAUTIONARY NOTE)

(This expose was first run by us in March, 2005)
Target #2 gave us emails between herself and GRIDNEY/ YidwithLid after she'd found out about him. In fact, Target #2 was the person who brought this story to us in late 2004. We have taken out identifying information at the request of Target #1, who is concerned for Yidwithlids family. Also, some comments from Target #2 and a cautionary note from EOPC (our comments are in purple - Fighter)
_______________
YAHOO MAIL HEADER
(verified)
From: Gridney/ Yidwithlid
To: Target #2
Sent: Wednesday March 17, 2004 9:59AM

I was on the train coming home

I have told [my wife]and will finish telling her in a few. My [clergyman] already knew I spoke to him the other day. I know you hate me but please let her heal.

I am canceling all my messenger accounts an made appointments for me to see a shrink Now please leave me alone
~~~~~~~~~~

We have noticed the tendency for narcissistically vulnerable people to engage in a kink of ritual self-castigation in the wake of an undeniable or unrationalizable failing toward someone. This is a process even more elusive than explaining, and harder to distinguish from true apologizing...

...In the case of a person with a narcissistic character disorder, recrimination is probably as close as he or she ever comes to apologizing, and is doubtless believed to constitute sorrow and reparation.

ARTICLE

TARGET #2 told EOPC: I was beyond pissed! Precisely what had he told everyone? 'Leave him alone? Let his wife heal?' I wanted answers and was getting none. I trusted this man. He'd sang songs from "West Side Story" over the phone to me, called me 3-4 times a day, gave me his emails, his office & cell phone numbers, his office address, told me he didn't love his wife and loved only me repeatedly... he HAD to love me to trust me after giving me all that information.

Yidwithlid'd told me over & over he was in love with me and I was his soulmate. That he didn't love his wife anymore and "our love would go on forever." Leave him alone? He was going to have the last word? I don't think so. I deserved answers. For a while I didn't believe Target #1 though now I know she was completely straight forward with me about her role.

Target #1 told me to go be with him. Yes I had finally contacted her despite Yidwithlid telling me not to. He made a cryptic comment to me about her and I had to know.

Yidwithlid had done a really good job of making Target #1 look like an lovesick puppy. I was very nasty to her for a while because I thought she maybe was just jealous as Yidwithlid implied.

Looking back I see she wasn't jealous at all - just devastated. I ask you, what jealous, 'scorned woman' tells you to go be with the object of their affection? No one.

I called her and we talked for over 36 hours on the phone the night/day we found out and I could hear her [being sick]. She told me she asked to meet his wife & children and for all the cybersex nonsense to end many times. Yidwithlid was controlling her the same way he was controlling me - like puppets.

Yidwithlid had even told me Target #1 and her friend FoT1 were taunting him sexually. I believed it until law enforcement showed me later everything he'd been up to. The police even sent me copies of his chats with Target #1. Like a coward he was saying "I didn't do it - they did." I was a paralegal - the solid evidence didn't back him up - at all. I was sick about it.

Yidwithlid had refused to take Target #1's phone number or address and she was just crying non-stop about how she tried to fix it and stop it but was too stupid & weak. She told me she knew Yidwithlid had always hated her and that I should go and make him happy because Yidwithlid deserved happiness. She still cared about him. Incredible.

The day after I spoke to Target #1, she & I were online still trying to figure it out. Yidwithlid had been trying frantically to IM or phone her all day but she was too sick & scared to talk to him. Yidwithlid got online with me later that same day and said he'd been to his [clergyman] to tell him he'd fallen in love with another woman (me). Now I know that was more B.S. he was giving me. Yidwithlid told his [clergyman] something totally different.

And Yidwithlid never bothered to speak to or try to contact Target #1 that night. I was struck at how suddenly, he was schmoozing me and treating her like SHE DIDN'T EVEN EXIST!! When he finally did get in touch with her he'd already made up his mind to attack her! After he'd been messing with her mind for 2 years! She was trying to protect him and he was at her throat. Was I next?

It jumped out at me: if this is what Yidwithlid did to someone he's known over 25 years... And what he said about someone who he KNOWS was smitten with him... and she's now TELLING ME to go be with him... What will he do to me when he gets tired of me? I got very very angry. Some friend he was!

Yidwithlid had told me about his publishers, his boss, the people he worked with, his assistant - even the names of his clients - and how much they all liked him. All to make himself look good, So, I made it my business to find addresses and contacts for everyone he knew. My husband was a psychologist - I knew exactly what Yidwithlid was - and I was going to make sure everyone in his life knew too!

Yidwithlid had told me it was 'difficult' to admit but he knew he'd 'fallen in love with me.' He sent me an article about how 'Affairs can Help People in Bad Marriages.' All part of his systematic love-attack on me. While I was emailing him love poetry, he'd been emailing me porn and pornographic ecards saying "I can't wait to do XXX to you." I was so brainwashed by him and my prior abusive conditioning - I thought it was LOVE! And it was hard-core porn. He wanted a FREE WHORE.

I'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. So this porn he was sending to me was a huge trigger for me. Yidwithlid KNEW I had this issue and it probably just helped him along! I was frozen and tried to say "but he loves me!"

I knew Yidwithlids' kids needed to be away from this pervert too. Law enforcement sent me copies of everything they found on him including his home address and his parents' address (as well how much he paid for his house, his criminal record, all the websites traces of his IP were on, everything!)

I was going to see to it that everyone was going to know. His family, his clients, his job... everyone. I wanted Yidwithlid to lose as much sleep, feel as sick and as used as I did. I wanted his whole life to go "BOOM" like mine just had.

I was angry with Target #1 too - for introducing us. I realize now she had no idea and was totally blindsided. But at the time I told her repeatedly she was 'minimizing me' and called her "Yidwithlid's pimp."

Once law enforcement called me and sent me everything (and all his personal information) for verification... once I saw for myself what an independent source had turned up... I could no longer deny that this man had lied to me methodically over a 5 week period for one reason. To make me a free whore for him.

In his "escort reviews" Yidwithlid said that certain hookers "loved him" and his 'techniques.' In one he said he "fell in love" with one hooker's pretty face. He was just gushing over how much these PAID sex actresses liked him. It was sick. Really really sick.

Yidwithlid only added to it by denying certain things between us "never happened." He had started rewriting history to cover himself. I was being objectified and minimized by him - not Target #1!

Yidwithlid very quickly got rid of his cell phone probably in order to cut me off. This was after he swore once he "smoothed everything over with the wife" we'd be together. I called his office a few times but he wasn't in or wasn't taking my calls. I was going to keep my eye on the internet for him. I knew he wasn't gone.

After Yidwithlid had sent an email apology to Target #2, she sent him this (references are made to Yidwithlids apology email which we posted earlier this month)

YAHOO HEADER
(verified)
From: TARGET #2
Date: 2004/03/27 Sat AM 8:22:43 EDT
To: Yidwithlid (deleted)@optonline.com

Yidwithlid, your email only shows me you have not begun legitimate therapy. Praying is not enough. You have engaged in criminal behavior; you cannot pray your way to health! The only reason I have been copying your [clergyman] is to keep you HONEST, ie to keep you from continually spinning this whole situation by lying, fudging and handing him more nonsense.

You need serious psychological/psychiatric help. Your problems are well beyond any [clergymans]’s area of expertise. Apparently, he is under the misapprehension that you merely have a cybersex addiction.

You fail to see that you involved 2 grown women by engaging us in highly personal and intense relationships. Target #1's estranged husband knows of that you made her think you had feelings for her, and then turned your back on her. He had a keylogger on her for months of her relationship so he knows everything, and so does his attorney. So, first Target #1 took beatings because of you and now [Target #1 estranged husband]'s instability is daily affecting her & her children.

I fell in love with you (whoever YOU really are – God knows you are so fractured and surreal), had cybersex which I have since learned is tantamount to rape. And your [clergyman] thinks I am a TEMPTATION that can simply be prayed away? No Yidwithlid – we are flesh and blood people who are in abject agony day after horrible day … agony you can’t pray away.

You cannot hide behind religion on this one. Your wife might buy that, but a sophisticated person never would. Clearly, you have not taken responsibility and you are not seeking professional help. You are very dangerous.

You told Target #1 only a couple weeks ago; in other words while I was supposedly your 'one and only'; that you “looked at everyone woman like she was a hole.” That you told ANYONE that is truly depraved, Yidwithlid. Especially telling a woman (Target #1) you even told me you knew was in love with you. But truly criminally depraved.

Using prayer as a crutch while not addressing the crux of your disorder will only cause you to fall back again once you are under stress or bored. It's obvious that you also still don't 'get' the devastation you have caused. You write, "but I am truly sorry for everything all the pain I caused." No. You definitely don't 'get' it. This isn’t about “the pain” you have caused. You simply do NOT GRASP the ENORMITY of what you have done.

You willfully & knowingly tried to destroy Target #1 and nearly succeeded. You have thrown me into emotional turmoil that only reminds me of the life and death issues with which I lived with my entire childhood: that is PTSD. Actually, you are responsible for kicking both Target #1's & my PTSD into high gear, which has caused both of us to go over and over everything that happened as well as keeping both of us from being able to stop crying or to get any sleep. Your wife "sometimes throws up"? She is not the only one, believe me.

Religious, in our cases that would be (clergical) counseling just isn't going to work. Frankly, the Yidwithlid I came to know is not the person you are. The person you are has complete disregard for anyone but yourself and your own pain.

Running away from me like I am the bad one.

Target #1 and I deserve some truth & amends from you.

This is almost impossible for me to handle.

~~~~~~~~~~

Target #2: I had gone to a 24 hr. photo place to get pictures of myself taken for him. I waited there for an hour and rushed back to my computer. I had already started rearranging my schedule for our rendevous. I was living for his daily calls. I would call him all the time too. This wasn't right.

Yidwithlid told me he hated porn - but now I see that he was sending me porn cards and porn clips all the time. His excuse? That is was ME making him so 'hot and bothered.' (Once again GRIDNEY/ Yidwithlid makes his Targets responsible for his addiction!! GRIDNEY/ YidwithLid just loves blame shifting, doesn't he?)

Yidwithlid was offering me free trips, free meals and he even tried repeatedly to get me to accept him buying me a movie camera so I could "make some private movies" for him. What he wanted was me to do homemade porn for him! I can only imagine what he would have done with it if I did.

Yidwithlid and I discussed issues we both shared strong opinions on. I got him involved in message boards I thought he'd like but he just promoted his tripe.

Yidwithlid was constantly telling me not to talk to Target #2. He was controlling me and as a person who suffered childhood sexual abuse - I didn't see it.

Yidwithlid was absolutely aware of my history. Yidwithlid swore to me he HATED porn - but the police found he had a computer full of it. He told me it was ME making him so "hot." I cried a lot. He was a liar and had led me on simply for his own pleasure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's just two letters Target #2 sent out to Yidwithlids publishers. We have scrambled or deleted information regarding innocent parties but left a letter here & there to prove these as verified & genuine:
TARGET #2's LETTER TO ONE OF HIS PUBLISHERS :

YAHOO MAIL HEADER
(verified)
From: Target #2
To: Editor in Chief, XXXX
Sent: Tuesday, March 16, 2004 4:39 PM
Subject: CONFIDENTIAL

Dear Editor JXXXy:
Good morning; or maybe not. First all, I apologize for having to write this, but I sincerely feel I must. This letter is being sent to inform you of some problems there are with your publishing the writing of "J:.

My name is Target #2, I subscribe to your emails and often go to your website to enjoy your publication. I am a XXX who met a friend of Yidwithlids (she means Target #1) on a XXX site protesting media bias against XXX. Subsequently, she sent me his article on Tom Friedman and asked for help in getting it published. I got it onto a few more sites and he wrote to effusively thank me. Then, he wrote to say he would really like to get to know me; that he was currently online and would I please open up MSN Messenger and chat.

Please allow me to further elaborate: Yidwithlid has been misrepresenting himself as an observant (religious affiliation) and a family man while seducing, using and hurting other women, i.e. certainly breaking more than one commandment. His writings are written to reflect his deep (religious) values, but I have found that to be a pose, something which he doesn't practice: In fact, quite the opposite.

He has probably done all of his damage out of some form(s) of mental illness, however, that doesn't lessen my and others' pain, including his family's. Obviously, he also misrepresents himself and what he practices through his writing. This man has honed in on me and other women once he tests the waters enough to find we come from abusive backgrounds and are therefore more susceptible to his wiles.

He used my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder issues to pull me in, make me feel safe, have cyber-sex (and plan future physical relations) and emotionally abuse us - as formally abused women are set up to accept. His modus operandi is text book, I am devastated to tell you.

The reason this has come up now is that another of his victims and I got in touch with each other (she was the one who unknowingly introduced him to me)(again she is talking about Target #1). We had very long conversations, found out what had been going on and have tried to hold ourselves together through this. Speaking for myself, my natural inclination would be to blame myself, feel shame (from prior conditioning) and run and hide. Target #1 is already starting to do this. However, I have a different reaction whenever wrongs are perpetrated on others rather than just myself.

This is not being written to be vindictive towards Yidwithlid, but out of my ethical center. I do not want to see strong (religious) publications being involved with someone of low moral character & divisiveness while promoting the values of (the Bible). Yidwithlid does hold himself out to have the best (religious affiliation) values and that is belied by his behavior.

Therefore, I want you to understand that all of this is now coming out and therefore I urge you, on behalf of your readership, to re-think your professional relationship with him. If you want further details, please feel free to email me at (deleted)@msn.com or, perhaps for freer discussion, please feel free to telephone me at 805-((deleted). Your time and consideration of this very serious situation are very much appreciated.

-Target #2 ANOTHER OF TARGET #2s LETTER TO ONE OF Yidwithlids PUBLISHERS

YAHOO MAIL HEADER
(verified)
From: TARGET #2
To: (deleted)@aXXX.com
Sent: Tuesday, March 16, 2004 1:39 PM
Subject: CONFIDENTIAL

Dear (deleted): Good morning; or maybe not. First all, I apologize for having to write this, but I sincerely feel I must. This letter is being sent to inform you of some problems there are with your publishing the writing of Yidwithlid.

My name is Target #2 I subscribe to your emails and often go to your website to enjoy your publication. I am a (religious affiliation) who met a friend of Yidwithlid's (Target #1) on a (religious affiliation) site protesting media bias against (country). Subsequently, she sent me his article on Tom Friedman and asked for help in getting it published. I got it onto a few more sites and he wrote to effusively thank me. Then, he wrote to say he would really like to get to know me; that he was currently online and would I I please open up MSN Messenger and chat.

Please allow me to further elaborate: Yidwithlid has been misrepresenting himself as an observant (religious affiliation) and a family man while seducing, using and hurting other women, i.e. certainly breaking more than one commandment. His writings are written to reflect his deep (religious affiliation) values, but I have found that to be a pose, something which he doesn't practice: In fact, quite the opposite.

He has probably done all of his damage out of some form(s) of mental illness, however, that doesn't lessen my and others' pain, including his family's. Obviously, he also misrepresents himself and what he practices through his writing.

This man has honed in on me and other women once he tests the waters enough to find we come from abusive backgrounds and are therefore more susceptible to his wiles. He uses our Post Traumatic Stress Disorder issues to pull us in, make us feel safe, have cyber-sex (and plan future physical relations) and emotionally abuse us - as formally abused women are set up to accept. His modus operandi is text book, I am devastated to tell you.

The reason this has come up now is that another of his victims (Target #1) and I got in touch (she was the one who unknowingly introduced him to me) [Yidwithlid now claims Target #2 CHASED HIM and Target #1 never introduced them. Here, in her words, we see he's LYING - no surprise there, huh?]. We had very long conversations, found out what had been going on and have tried to hold ourselves together through this. Speaking for myself, my natural inclination would be to blame myself, feel shame (from prior conditioning) and run and hide. However, I have a different reaction whenever wrongs are perpetrated on others rather than just myself.

This is not being written to be vindictive towards Yidwithlid, but out of my ethical center. We do not want to see strong (religious affiliation) publications being involved with someone of low moral character & divisiveness while promoting the values of(the Bible).

Therefore, I want you to understand that all of this is now coming out and therefore I urge you, on behalf of your readership, to re-think your professional relationship with him.

If you want further details, please feel free to email me at (deleted)@msn.com or, perhaps for freer discussion, please feel free to telephone me at (805) (deleted). Your time and consideration of this very serious situation are very much appreciated.

I would be happy to give you Target #1s email if you wish to verify with her. [Yidwithlid now claims Target #1 turned him in to his publishers... again, we see here he is LYING & TWISTING HISTORY & THE TRUTH to portray himself as the victim when he is the PREDATOR!]

- Target #2
________________

Some words from Target #1: I was scared. Law enforcement had me survellied because they told me it was highly possible he'd put the whole blame on me and perhaps snap and do something violent.

When I was contacted by Detective D'AXXXX, the detective Yidwithlid and his wife involved - he was shocked to learn I was disabled! He even called my doctor to confirm. I knew then Yidwithlid had been able to effectively lie to his wife & everyone else - telling them I made it all up because I was lovesick or something.

I begged Target #2 not to contact his parents or get involved with his kids or job. I told his wife and I mailed his (clergyman) a letter for FOT1 - that was enough. Yidwithlid was going to lie to his wife and had probably worked out the cover story he'd repeat whenever necessary. I was within STRIKING DISTANCE of him, she wasn't!! She wasn't really listening to reason though, she was so angry. She must have done a lot of things I don't know about - stuff I am sure I will get blamed for. But there is no way, I was too sick and made overnight visits to the hospital a few times.

I have kids - Target #2 doesn't and I told her to PLEASE not involve Yidwithlids children or family as they weren't responsible. I'd told his wife so she could help him and gone to the police when he threatened my children. That was really all that mattered.

Target #2's anger was justified, yes - but what she told me she was going to do about it? I was terrified. I was too sick to move for quite a while. My ex husband took my car keys away and I was too weak to do anything. When Detective D'XXX called me in May - I was shocked. It had been a couple months. I was so scared that Target #2 was carrying through with her threats and that I WAS taking the blame.

It wasn't until that Fall - months later - that I started piecing my life back together. I was paying big time - and I was trying to prevent my children from paying.

Afterward I helped Target #2 divorce her husband. To this day I don't know exactly what she did to Yidwithlid. If I think about it too long - I have a panic attack.

I would NEVER NEVER had done any of this if I didn't KNOW Yidwithlid and had some personal experience with him that led me to believe he was honest & trustworthy. (She hadn't yet figured out that Yidwithlid mind controlled, manipulated, seduced & controlled her!! She did nothing!!)

Please, don't get drawn in by an old flame and avoid an online affair like the plague. No good will come of it.
A CAUTIONARY NOTE FROM EOPC
We are posting Target #2's comments to talk about REVENGE.

Readers, while revenge is a natural reaction - please think about what you are doing before you try to destroy someone's whole life. And think carefully about WHY you are doing it? Because you are angry? Yes you ARE angry and you should be and exposing them is good. But - TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION SOMEONE'S INNOCENT FAMILY AND JOB. The point is to expose the person so:

1. they don't hurt anyone else
2. their families get them help (if possible)
3. they are held accountable

Target #2 was still very angry when EOPC spoke to her. She saw nothing wrong with finding ways to poke at Yidwithlid all over the internet - even giving personal information she found online about him (remember zabasearch.com is just one place you can find everything for FREE) and law enforcement had sent to her.

Target #2 told us she was still a member of sites like AdultFriendFinder and AmericanFriendFinder and a variety of dating sites in 2005, despite her Yidwithlid experience. She was married to an abuser, yes - said her husband had "given her permission" to have an outside relationship. Target #2 saw nothing wrong with her behavior.

We at EOPC do not approve of this. The entire point of our site is to warn people about online relationships and online dating and its consequences. Don't be tempted to go back and do it again just because you know more about the red flags!

We tried to speak to Target #2 about it - to no avail.

Remember this: Target #1? - Yidwithlid looked her up. She did not do online dating or chat rooms other than her disability chats. She was married, yes - and told us what she did getting involved was very wrong.

Yidwithlid used their prior relationship to launch a very dysfunctional online relationship with her. Once she found out HOW dysfunctional - Target #1 felt his wife should know, she apologized, and went to the authorities only after Yidwithlid had threatened to see to it that 'her children' were 'taken from her'.

Target #1 was contrite, said she was partly to blame and upset and - She would not give EOPC permission to use his name because of his wife and small children as well as her own. (we did this interview in Nov. 2004 and had to talk to Target #1 many times to assure her we would respect her wishes. Target #1 hopes people will learn from her mistake) We remind you - yes, Target #1 was drawn into an inappropriate online affair but she was not seeing hookers and advertising online for sex. Yidwithlid was.

Target #2 - was introduced to Yidwithlid by Target #1. Target #2 self-reported to be an unbashed serial online dater. Married and unapologetic about having affairs prior to Yidwithlid and probably after. Sorry, but in our opinion, Target #2 allowed her anger to rule in her determination to destroy Yidwithlid. Despite EOPC 'Fighter' members attempting to speak to her about this, Target #2 went ahead anyway.

I.E.: Yidwithlid lives near Target #1 and knows her address. He could blame shift to her for Target #2's behavior and come after her.

Target #2 was not able to see Target #1, her children or Yidwithlids family in her rage.

In fact at the time of this posting, Target #2 told us Yidwithlid had written to her ISP (Juno.com) and gotten her service pulled for harassment so she was going to use anonymous mailers, chat bots as well as friends who traveled and one who lived not too far from Yidwithlid. Yidwithlids' getting her service pulled only helped wind up her revenge towards Yidwithlid. Readers: Expose Them! But when you can do so with a clear head. There is justified and unjustified anger. If you can't stop with relentless or escalating revenge - then please consider counseling. EOPC would be happy to help you try to find someone for you. - "Fighter"

We have a couple more posts on GRIDNEY/Yidwithlid to wind up this story including some updates of typical abuser behavior: lying, twisting history, playing victim, projection & blame shifting.

yidwithlid